Drift's P.O.V.
I worried Jamie would change her mind last minute, but she didn't.
Drift: uh Sunstreaker, did you tell Lily that Jamie isn't talking?
Sunstreaker: I told her she's to leave Jamie alone.
Drift: ok
I don't know if I would have gone that far even though I don't know what Jamie will do today. I can only hope that she'll want to do something at the beach. We're borrowing some floats from Cade and Vivian.
Jamie lets me carry her to the hangar.
The terror twins and Lily are waiting for us with lunch. I worry Jamie will eat only because we're with friends, though Crosshairs told me what Lightning told him about this morning. Jamie ate her — hopefully temporarily — normal amount.
Sunstreaker's P.O.V.
I don't know if Crosshairs and Drift were told that Lily, Sideswipe, and I were at the same table as Jamie and the femmes. We saw how little Jamie eats. I know junk food isn't great, but I'm hoping she'll eat more for lunch.
I feel Sideswipe wanting to talk to Jamie, but he doesn't want to ruin the afternoon.
Wait until we get back to the base. I insist.
I don't think that's any better. I hate how hurt she is.
I know she wants to avoid everyone, and that's not good.
I wait until Jamie finishes lunch to show her the cookies I got. She smiles and takes a cookie.
Damn, I hate how she's not talking. What the frag has she been dealing with that we don't know about?
Does it matter if we know? Sideswipe asks.
I feel he's frustrated, and I don't blame him.
Jamie's mental state during and after our vacation wasn't great, but even with her attempted suicide, her mental state now is scrap.
Drift came prepared with some floats already inflated. Lily tries to get Jamie to go in the water with her, but Jamie refuses. Sideswipe has Lily join him in the water not knowing Drift would carry Jamie into the water with them.
"Are you ok?" I waste no time asking.
Crosshairs sighs, hating being asked, "no, who isn't ok knowing how depressed Jamie is? Whether they know everything or not. Who knows how to help her?!"
I look towards the water. The others didn't hear him yelling. Crosshairs let himself be vulnerable. Now is not a good time, but he's not going to calm down quickly.
I have him sit on the tarp and hug him. Hoping Jamie doesn't see this. That'll be just as bad as how I have no idea what to say.
He's not going to calm down fast, but leaving is not wise with Jamie's mental state. Even to the parking lot is a risk.
Sideswipe, do what you can to keep them busy and not looking towards the beach for a while. I instruct. I don't dare get Drift involved.
Scrap, I'll try. Sideswipe says.
Fifteen minutes feels like hours. Crosshairs is calming down.
"Sideswipe and I will help. You know the others will help," I tell him.
Knowing well that this is a challenge. They need a break as in leaving Jamie with others for a while. The fact that Lightning doesn't stay with Jamie for a while tells me how bad this situation is.
I watch Crosshairs go into the water, ignoring how it's cold at first, and take Jamie from Drift. The lack of reaction from Jamie is troubling. Even Drift is worried about his friend's behavior. Lily and Sideswipe watch, concerned.
What happened? Sideswipe asks.
He finally fell apart. I mean it's not great, but neither is acting like he's ok. I explain.
Funny you're saying that.
I wouldn't be surprised if Sideswipe is smirking.
At least she has support, Sideswipe. That's the difference. Even though I had you, it wasn't enough. Unfortunately, we're not enough for Jamie, but it's better than what I had.
This beach day is a half-bust. At least Jamie is out of the base. We stay for an hour before going to get ice cream.
"I don't like this, Sunstreaker," Lily tells me, "how long before she..."
Lily doesn't finish the sentence before tears roll down her face. I don't think she's traumatized after December, but worried we're going to lose a friend. All I can do is hug Lily. We can say Jamie is guarded — though she feels like she's with friends — but Jamie has powers to allow her to leave the base. We can't stop her entirely.
Crosshairs' P.O.V.
"Are you ok?" Drift asks after Sunstreaker takes Jamie into the ice cream shop with Lily and Sideswipe.
How's telling him I'm not ok good? But he's not going to let me ignore the question.
Even though all he can do is hug me after I tell him no. Telling me I can't hide my feelings.
"You're not helping me by hiding how you're feeling," he argues, "it's a risk if Jamie sees us hurting," she already hates how much we worry about her. I hate how she thinks it's a problem, "and it's not good for your mental health. Come on, before she thinks we left."We had a nice time before going back to the base. Well, my friends did. I couldn't stop worrying about Jamie and Drift. I know now Drift worries about me.
Sunstreaker asks Jamie to play video games with Lily and Sideswipe. I thought he'd ask her to do some art. What I didn't think I'd see is Drift getting Jamie to go with Sunstreaker. Hating his frustrated sigh as Sunstreaker takes Jamie down the hall with Lily and Sideswipe.
"She'll be ok," I assure him as I hug him, "I know it's hard knowing this will take months."
"Even to get her like she was last year," Drift adds.
"Yeah, that's a good goal," I look at him, seeing tears roll down his face, "it's ok, we've been with her for ten years. We know how to help her."
"Then she wouldn't have reached this point."
Do I keep talking or not? We've learned how complicated human mental health is. It's like ours. Unfortunately, not everyone can be helped easily. The fact that Jamie is a cross-functional traveler adds to the challenge. It's not easy to have her stay here. Even for most of the year. Yet she's a fierce warrior in battle. I take Drift to our room. Hoping he'll be ok.
