Author's note: Chapter Fourteen for your viewing pleasure. I hope everyone reading this story is enjoying it! I was thinking about possibly doing the other side of this story…since this one is solely based on Rachel's point of view. I was thinking of writing another fic from Tom's point of view. Let me know if you would want that. It'd be a mirror but Tom's story (so you'd get the talks with Mike and Tom's feelings and thoughts). Reviews or message me to let me know. Happy Reading. Dark rolling sea.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Rachel had spent the last four nights restless and alone in Tom's stateroom. While he was on night watch he had used his at sea cabin by the bridge. She knew they would be making port in a few hours as she laid in Tom's bed early in the morning hours. They hadn't been able to talk much with their opposite schedules, so she still had no idea how he wanted to handle telling the children. She figured he would let her know as soon as they reached dry land. She checked the clock again, zero one thirty. She rolled over but knew she wasn't getting anymore sleep anytime soon. She sighed and hugged Tom's pillow, inhaling his scent and closing her eyes. He had purposely left it for her.

Rachel was beginning to feel the nervousness of reuniting with Tom's family. She had spent a little time with Jed and the children while they were aboard the Nathan James but that was before her, and Tom had acknowledged their feelings for each other. This time it would be completely different. She would be submerged into their lives at a whole new level. She was nervous the children would reject her, would reject the relationship she had with their father.

Rachel knew Tom was harboring the same feelings, maybe even on a deeper level than she was. She rolled over again, trying to find a spot that would be comfortable enough to possibly fall back asleep. An hour later she was still awake and decided to give up on sleep, at least for now. She got up and dressed, then left Tom's stateroom and headed for the bridge. There was a chance he was asleep in the at sea cabin, but there was also a chance he was up and in his chair.

She walked into the darkened bridge and stood waiting for her eyes to adjust. Once she could see again, she scanned the bridge and found that the captain was indeed sitting in his chair, sipping a cup of coffee, watching the open ocean ahead of them. Slowly, she approached his side, he made no indication that he knew she was there, until she was next to him. He was mid sip when she got there, and he lowered his cup.

"Why aren't you sleeping?" he asked softly. His voice barely audible.

"I tried," she replied as her hand found his forearm. He looked at her then and nodded. "How's it going up here?"

"Smooth sailing," he rumbled in a low voice. He paused and took another drink from his coffee cup. Once he lowered it, he looked over at Rachel again. "I think we should tell them together."

"Okay, if that's what you think, then that's what we will do," she replied, a nervous smile on her lips. She held his gaze as he studied her face.

"I do," he answered with a sigh.

"So, I'm staying with you in the house?" Rachel asked tentively. Tom scanned her face.

"Yes," he breathed out, and grinned. He took another drink of his coffee. Rachel smiled in return.

"About how much longer?"

"A few hours," Tom replied. "You should try to get some sleep. It'll be a long day."

A few hours later the Nathan James was docked at Norfolk. The crew was busy securing the ship and making plans to head inland to find family and friends that had survived the red flu. Rachel was waiting in Tom's stateroom, impatiently pacing off her nervous energy. The door opened and Rachel stopped her pacing. Tom stepped inside the room.

"Ready?" he asked holding the door open. Rachel took a deep breath, picked up her bag, and nodded. Tom smiled at her and titled his head towards the door. Rachel made her way in that direction but before she could get passed Tom he reached out and took hold of her arm. Rachel stopped and looked up at him expectantly. He leaned in and kissed her slowly and warmly, then pulled back with a sigh.

Half the crew had already disembarked when Rachel and Tom made their way off the ship. Once on dry land Tom had some official duties to attend to. A few hours after they had disembarked the ship, Rachel and Tom were headed towards Tom's house and his family. Rachel could feel the nerves building in her stomach, she figured the same was happening with Tom as he had been quiet since they started the drive.

Tom had reached over and slipped his hand into hers as he drove. They pulled into his driveway and parked. Neither one made a move to leave the car. Rachel looked over at Tom.

"This is it," he said quietly. Rachel waited for him to look at her.

"It's going to be okay," she said pulling her hand from his and gently stroking it along his jaw. He closed his eyes and smiled. She let her hand drop and he opened his eyes and nodded slowly before opening the car door. Rachel followed his lead. He was grabbing the bags from the back seat when his front door bust open, and Sam came charging down the sidewalk towards him.

"DAD!" the boy screamed as he leaped into the air once he was within a few feet of his dad. Tom dropped the bags and caught his flying boy. Sam's arms wrapped around his neck and Tom squeezed him tightly to his body.

"Hey, buddy," Tom whispered, his gaze falling on Rachel. She could see the emotion in his eyes and smiled. "I missed you."

"I missed you too, Dad," Sam breathed out as he pulled his head up to look at his father. Tom shifted Sam's weight to his hip and bent to pick up the dropped bags. Rachel hurried over and grabbed them from his hand. Tom gave her a look, but she shook her head and motioned they go towards the house.

"I've got these, you carry him," she said softly. Tom relented and moved towards the house still carrying Sam. Rachel came up behind him with the bags. As they climbed the stairs towards the front door, Ashley appeared with a big smile on her face.

"Dad," she said. Tom leaned down and pulled her to him with his free arm.

"Ash," he breathed out and hugged her tight, kissing the top of her head. "I've missed you guys."

"We missed you too."

"You guys remember, Dr. Scott? From the ship?" he asked as he moved their hug towards the front door. Ashley looked over her shoulder at Rachel as she walked with her dad. Sam looked too and gave a little wave.

"Yeah," Ashley said in a leery voice. Rachel felt a pang of nervousness shiver through her system.

"Hi," Sam squeaked out. Rachel smiled at the children.

"Hello," she replied.

"Let's get settled inside," Tom continued. "Where's grampa?"

"Making dinner," Ashley replied, her gaze still on Rachel.

"Good, I'm starved," Tom said as he slid Sam to the floor inside the living room. He paused and Rachel could see the emotion flood his face. He let it roll over him briefly but then it disappeared before her eyes. She wanted to touch his arm, comfort him in his time of need, but she wasn't sure how the children would take it, and she figured Tom wanted to tell them first before they showed any affection towards each other, so she restrained herself. As quickly as the emotion had assaulted him, he had it buttoned down. He moved off quickly towards the kitchen and Rachel followed them.

In the kitchen they found Tom's dad cooking dinner. Rachel sat back and watched as the children and Tom conversed about the happenings back in Norfolk while they had been away. While Jed cooked Rachel noticed him taking glances at her, his thoughts tumbling through his eyes. Rachel was a bit uncomfortable, but she managed to hide it, at least she hoped she did.

"Almost ready. Ashley, why don't you get the table set," Jed said finally. Ashely rolled her eyes but then moved to the cupboard and began to get the dishes down for dinner. Tom sat down and his kids immediately flanked his sides so Rachel took a seat directly across from him. After Jed had finished cooking and placed the food on the table, he took the seat next to Rachel. Dinner was consumed with the children and Tom doing most of the talking, and Rachel rather enjoyed watching him in this element.

With the food eaten and the kitchen cleaned up, Tom and the kids had gone to the living room to sit down. Rachel had stopped in the hallway to look at the pictures of Tom and his family on the walls. She stared at the one from Tom and Darien's wedding. He looked so happy in the picture, she hoped she made him as happy as Darien did.

"Rachel?" she heard Tom's voice boom out. She stared at the photo for a moment longer then moved around the corner and into view. Tom was on the couch with Sam next to him and Ashley on the floor. He patted the couch cushion on his open side and used his head to motion her to him. She smiled and walked across the room self-consciously as the others watched her. She glanced over and saw Jed sitting on a chair, his eyes sparkling with understanding. Rachel slowly dropped down onto the couch and waited. Tom looked at her and took a deep breath.

"Kids, Dad, Rachel and I have something we want to discuss with you," Tom said in a low rumble. Rachel saw Ashely visibly tense. She felt Tom's arm slide down the back of the couch, his hand losing touching her shoulder. "The last few months, Rachel and I have…grown closer," he continued. He was struggling for words again, but Rachel was staying quiet.

"Are you kidding, Daddy?" Ashley barked out in a shout. "What about Mom!"

"Honey, just let me explain," Tom asked. Rachel looked at Sam, but the boy seemed to be clueless as to what was being said. She looked at Jed and saw a look of understanding. Ashley jumped to her feet, and stomped off out of the living room, with tears rolling down her face. Tom sat there for a moment staring at his feet. Rachel felt her stomach knot up. "Well, that didn't go over well," Tom whispered.

"What's wrong with Ashley, Dad?" Sam asked curiously. Tom looked at his son and smiled.

"I think she's made at me, Bud."

"How come?"

"Did you understand what I meant when I said Dr. Scott and I had grown closer?" Tom asked. The boy's face scrunched in confusion and Tom sighed out a deep breath. "Rachel and I are dating, Sam."

"Oh, like she's your girlfriend?"

"Yeah."

The boy didn't seem phased one way or another and Tom was simply staring at his son. Sam then looked around his father and Rachel and she gave the boy a tight smile.

"Why's Ash mad then?"

"I don't know, Sam, I'll have to talk to her and find out," Tom sighed. He looked up at his father.

"I figured something might be up after that time the kids and I spent on the Nathan James," Jed said softly.

"Was it that obvious then?" Tom asked as he squeezed Rachel's shoulders.

"No, not really, but I've known you a long time, Tommy, and I can read you pretty well," Jed replied with a smile. Tom nodded slowly. Rachel smiled at his father calling him Tommy. "How did it happen?"

"She helped me grieve for Darien," Tom said softly. Jed nodded slowly. "Then things just sort of fell into place, I guess."

"Are you happy?" Jed asked. Tom smiled and nodded. Jed nodded back. "You should probably go talk to her."

Tom hesitated a moment then pushed himself up off the couch. He took hold of Sam's hand and tugged him up as well. Rachel shrunk in on herself and wrapped her arms around her middle. She felt defeated. It was never her intentions to cause distress for Tom or his family.

"I'll be back," he said, looking at Rachel. Then he turned to Sam. "Come on, Buddy, we need to go have a talk with the just the three of us."

Tom left the room with Sam in tow. It was quiet as Jed sat and studied her. Rachel felt self-conscious again and squeezed herself tighter. Tom's father stood up and crossed the room sitting down next to her on the couch.

"I could tell you loved my son when I was there."

"Yes. It's been a long time I've loved your son," she admitted softly. "But I assure you it was after we learned of Darien's death that he did anything."

"He said you helped him grieve."

"I just happened to be there the night he broke down. I helped him work through the pain I suppose."

"Thank you for that. Tom has a habit of bottling things up and not dealing with them."

"I've noticed," Rachel replied, with a chuckle.

"I can see in both your eyes that it's serious, but Tom's still dealing with issues, isn't he?"

"Issues. I suppose that's a word for it. He's dealing with a lot of guilt. Some days it's better than others. Some days I can get him to express it and work through it. Other days he is quiet."

"At least with you. He may be talking to someone."

"Oh, I think that's a very big possibility. I know for a fact he has talked with Slattery."

"He and Mike have been friends a long time. Russ Jeter too."

"Yes."

"I'm glad he's been able to deal with this. It's going to take time for Ashley to be okay with it."

"It does appear that way."

"She'll come around. She just misses her mother."

"So does Tom," Rachel replied. Jed nodded.

"You look tired," Jed continued. Rachel nodded slowly. She hadn't gotten much sleep the last four nights Tom was on night watch.

"It's been a long couple of days," she mumbled. Jed nodded. He reached out and squeezed her shoulder and Rachel smiled at him.

"Well maybe you two can get some R and R in while you're home."

"That's the plan," she replied. Tom was gone for a while and Rachel and Jed had started to get to know each other. Rachel was feeling the pull of fatigue and hoped Tom came back soon. The sun had set, and the darkness of night had enveloped the house. Jed started the generator and the lights in the living room came on.

Two hours after Ashley had stormed off Tom came back into the living room looking completely exhausted. His eyes were rimmed with red and seemed puffy to Rachel. He was quiet and withdrawn. He hesitated when he got to the couch and then seemed to decide not to sit down.

"If you'll excuse us, Dad, we've had a long day…well couple of days, and I think we're both ready for some sleep."

"Certainly, Son. I'll see you two in the morning. Did you get Ashley calmed down?"

"Both kids are in Ashley's room. She's…better…I suppose. Tomorrow's another day," Tom breathed out. Rachel reached up and Tom took her hand, tugging her to her feet. He grabbed their bags from the corner and led Rachel down the hall to a door. He pushed the door open and stepped into the bedroom. Rachel watched him tense, and she eased the door shut behind them.

"Are you okay?" she asked softly, her hands settling on his shoulders from behind. Tom didn't say anything, and she slipped her arms under his and around his midsection. Her pressed her ear into the middle of his back and locked her hands in front of him. She felt his chest heaving with labored breathing and new he was crying.

She held him for a long while, as he let the emotions of the day wash out through his tears. Finally, she felt him start to peal her hands apart and she let go of him. He took the few steps to the bed and stopped. Rachel moved up next to him slipping her hand into his. He reached out with his other hand and gently touched the bedspread. The room was littered with memories of Darien. Rachel felt like she was losing Tom to the memories, and she wasn't sure what to do about it. She had feared that it would be too hard while they were here. She thought about getting her bag and going next door.

Tom seemed to sense her thoughts and his hand closed around hers and he pulled it up and kissed her knuckles. She looked at his face and waited for him to say something.

"Ashley is not happy about this," he mumbled. "I think Sam doesn't really have an opinion on it right now. But Ashley…she's angry at me. She thinks I'm betraying her mother."

"I think you have had the same thoughts," Rachel added. Tom looked at her then back at the bed.

"Rachel, it's not easy being in this house with you," he whispered.

"I can go next door…I can…"

"No," he whispered as his body shuddered. "No," he said with a little more control and force. He turned towards Rachel and wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her neck. She placed her hands on his back and shoulders and held him tightly. Rachel had no idea how long they stood like that, but she let Tom take the time he needed.

Rachel was startled a little when she felt Tom suck at her neck gently then kiss the spot. His hands slid up and down her back as his mouth continued to kiss at her neck. Rachel felt her temperature rise and her belly coil. Tom's mouth was moving around her neck, up her chin, then back down. Rachel's hands flew to his jaw and pulled his face to hers before she kissed him passionately on the mouth. Both were panting hard as they came apart. Tom dropped his mouth to her shoulder and continued to kiss her gently, featherlight, on any exposed skin. She turned and he pushed her down gently, making her collapse to the bed. His mouth followed her down and continued to suck and kiss around her flesh.

Rachel was in a whirlwind of emotion and sensory overload. Tom moved his body over hers and dropped his weight. His mouth came back to hers and locked into a passionate fiery kiss of dueling tongues, lips, and teeth. Rachel reached down and grazed her hand across the fly of his pants, and she felt him react, then suddenly Tom froze. Rachel stilled herself and Tom was perched over her, his weight feeling good. He started to retreat and Rachel bit at her lip. He stood from the bed and turned away from her. Rachel stayed where she was, trying to even out her breathing.

"Tom?" she asked hesitantly. He ignored her and moved towards the dresser. He leaned down and gripped the edge of it tightly.

"I'm sorry, Rachel," he breathed out. She sat up, hesitated a moment, then stood and walked over to him. She placed a hand on his shoulder blade.

"What's wrong?" Rachel asked.

"I just…it…I guess…fuck," Tom babbled. He took a deep shuddering breath and tried again. "I guess I'm not ready…here…fuck."

"It's okay, Tom," she said softly. He turned towards her and nodded slowly.

"I don't deserve you," he breathed out and Rachel felt the pain in her heart.

"Yes, you do," she replied. "I understand. It's okay. We should get some sleep."

Tom nodded and looked at the bed. Rachel hesitated then took Tom's hand and pulled him over. She slipped under the covers and waited for Tom to do the same. He slowly climbed in behind her and laid on his back, draping his arm over his eyes. Rachel turned into him and settled against his side. She kissed him gently.

"It's okay, Tom, we'll work through this too," she whispered.

To Be Continued…

Author's note: Hope you enjoyed this one. More to come. Again, let me know through review or PM if you want me to do Tom's side to this story! Dark rolling sea.