Author's Note: Whew another chapter churned out. I have no end point in mind for this story so I'm not sure how much more there will be. This chapter is definitely carrying that M rating just a fair heads up! I hope you enjoy. Happy Reading and reviews always welcome. Dark rolling sea.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
The next morning Rachel was ready early in the morning to make the drive back to the ship. Kelly Tophet had offered to drive her, and Rachel had agreed. She was hoping to get going before Tom tried to change her mind again. They were just about to get in the car when Rachel heard his voice calling out to her.
"Rachel," Tom boomed. She paused and closed her eyes, bag still over her shoulder, hand hovering just over the door handle. Kelly looked over the car at the sound, then back at Rachel.
"You want to talk to him, or should we just go?" Kelly asked. Rachel thought about running. Just getting in and not acknowledging him, but she knew that was the coward's way out. She knew she needed to talk to him just so he didn't feel like she was walking away forever. She took a deep breath and then turned to look at him.
"Tom," she answered working hard to keep her voice even and emotionless. She just hoped her eyes were the same. Tom gazed over her for a moment before he approached. He gave Kelly a smile before he turned to Rachel. Kelly took the hint and stepped away from her car, giving them a little privacy.
"No chance I can change your mind?" he asked, his voice laden with sadness.
"No. I'm going back to the ship. You still have five days. Spend it with your family."
"Rachel," he ground out. She could see the anger in his eyes, and it made her heart hurt. "You are my family too."
"That may be, but right now…you need to face this family and everything that entails. They need you right now."
"I need you right now."
"No, you don't. You want me right now. There is a difference. But I told you last night. I can't keep competing with her."
"You're not," Tom replied.
"But I am, Tom," she sighed. Her hand caressed the side of his face. "It's not intentional but it's happening. So go back in there and grieve for her, deal with it here. I'll be on the ship when you get back," she continued, close to tears. He stared at her for a long moment, his ice blue eyes riddled with emotional baggage. Rachel worked the lump in her throat and blinked the tears at bay.
"Okay," he finally whispered. He wrapped his arms around her and pressed his face into her neck. She leaned her head against his and wrapped her arms around him. They stood for a long while, wrapped in each other, before Tom pulled back, took both sides of her face in his hands, and kissed her long and deep. When he broke away, he kissed the tip of her nose before speaking one last time. "Feel free to use my stateroom."
Rachel smiled and nodded and then Tom turned and walked away. Rachel watched him all the way to his house then turned and got into Kelly's car. Kelly came over shortly after and slipped into the driver's seat. She started the car and pulled out of the driveway. Over half the ride was done in silence and Rachel was thankful for that. Her head was spinning with all kinds of emotion. Kelly finally broke the silence.
"You, okay?" she asked gently. Rachel glanced at her then slowly nodded.
"As okay as I can be," Rachel whispered. Kelly nodded.
"Want to talk about it?"
"Not really. I think this is the best as much as it's going to hurt. I really think he needs to be alone with his family to work out some things."
They were quiet for the rest of the drive. They said their goodbyes and Rachel made her way onto the ship. It was a bit eerie to be there with so few crew members still aboard. She made her way to her own cabin but stopped at the door, hand reached out for the knob. She took a deep breath and let it out, made a decision, and headed for Tom's stateroom.
She was almost there when she saw Slattery coming down the p-way and Rachel wanted to hide. It was too late though as Slattery gave her a confused, concerned look. He walked up to her.
"Aren't you supposed to be with the captain?" he asked quietly. Rachel nodded slowly and motioned for Tom's stateroom. Mike nodded and turned letting them both inside. Once the door was closed Rachel walked to the couch and dropped heavily down. "So, what happened?"
"It went really badly," Rachel mumbled as she picked at the couch covering.
"Worse than he thought?" Mike asked. Rachel looked up at him and frowned. Mike gave a sheepish smile. "We may have talked."
"Worse than either of us thought."
"Well maybe some space will do both of you some good."
"Maybe," Rachel said, the exhaustion of the last couple days catching up with her.
"Give him time, he's trying I know that much."
"I know he is, Mike. Being in that house, with his children, it was…I felt like I was competing with her." Mike nodded slowly.
"How did the children take it?"
"Sam was fine with it. Didn't really react and was a pleasure to be around. Ashley…she was angry. Felt like he was cheating on her mother."
"I can understand that."
"It was part of the problem I felt I couldn't stay in the house anymore. And Kelly's house was just next door, too close. So, I came back here."
"Well, if you ever need some company just look for me. I'm around and until the crew comes back there's not a ton to do."
"I'll keep it in mind, Mike, thank you." Mike nodded and then let himself out. Once Rachel was alone, she let her emotions wash over her and cried.
It had been four days since she boarded the Nathan James. Rachel had spent the majority of her time in the lab, going through the supplies that were being replenished. She spent long hours categorizing and organizing her lab, making sure they had enough of everything she would need to continue to make the cure while at sea. She had missed Tom fiercely. She has glad they only had one more night away from each other.
She had spent every evening having dinner with Mike in the wardroom. Although their relationship had started out rocky, lately they had settled into a comfortable friendship. She had come to enjoy her time with Mike, and their loose banter was relaxing. The lab was in order and all her supplies were replenished to capacity. She was all set to resume production once they were underway.
She woke up the next morning still hugging Tom's pillow. It was losing its scent and starting to smell more like her. She decided she was going to stay in his stateroom today, not needing to go to the lab. The day progressed slowly as she tried to keep herself occupied, but she was counting down the hours until Tom returned to the ship. She had almost fallen asleep on his couch when she heard the door to the stateroom open.
Tom stepped into the room, and she sat up and smiled at him. He moved towards her with purpose, and she rose to her feet. She felt crushed when he reached her and wrapped her up in a tight hug. His head dropped to her shoulder, and he picked her up. Rachel wrapped her arms around him and smiled.
"I missed you," he mumbled against her neck.
"I missed you too," she breathed out. Tom set her back down and pulled back before leaning in and kissing her. It was a kiss of hunger, of deep seeded passion. When he pulled up for air, he stepped away from her and made sure the door was locked, then walked up to her again.
With a smooth motion he picked her up, and moved them into his bedroom, putting her down on the bed. Rachel laid on her back staring up at him. He leaned down and kissed her jaw, then worked down her neck to her shoulder. Then he followed her clavicle to where the neck and shoulder joined. He bit at the soft skin, before smoothing over it with his tongue. In a quick move he was back on her mouth and Rachel was lost in the sensation of feelings rushing through her body. Her hands were roaming his strong back muscles, slipping under his shirt for skin-on-skin contact. His mouth continued to attack hers as she tugged at the hem of his shirt.
He tore his mouth away from hers as he leaned back enough to slip his tee shirt over his head and tossed it aside. He dropped down and kissed her again before he grabbed her shirt and tugged it up. She sat up slightly and let the garment slip over her head and float to the floor. Tom dropped his head down and kissed at her chest, down her breast. She gasped as his tongue flicked over her nipple and arched her back forcing her nipple into his mouth.
His other hand was on her hip, making slow circles against her pants. Her fingers raked along his back, settling in the short hair at the back of his head. Tom left her breast and kissed a trail down her stomach to the top of her pants. She then felt him undoing the clasp and sliding them down. She thrust her hips up off the bed and he stripped her of both her pants and panties leaving her fully exposed to him.
She opened her eyes and gazed into his ice blue ones, watching as they darkened. He stood up and removed his pants and boxers, leaving them both fully naked. Rachel reached up and stroked his face before he leaned down, his eyes staying on hers. He kissed her inner thighs and Rachel moaned softly bending her knees. Tom moved closer to her sex, and she pulsed her hips trying to make contact.
But then he was kissing his way up her stomach, across both her breasts. When he sucked on her neck and then bit down, she let out a gasp and her hands dug into his back, before sliding down to his naked butt. He came up and captured her lips again in a long passionate kiss that involved lips, and teeth, and tongues. His hand reached down between her legs and stroked her causing her hips to buck forward against him. He broke the kiss and looked her in the eye before he thrust three fingers into her. She moaned softly and moved her hips again as his palm brushed against her clit.
"Tom," she breathed out and her hands scrambled to pull his face down to her so she could kiss him again. Their lips crashed together in another long duel, and she reached between them so she could stroke his penis. She felt him react to her touch, heard him groan, felt him pulse.
"Fuck," Tom breathed out as she worked his shaft with her hand. "You keep doing that and this will be over." Rachel smiled and worked to line him up. Tom seemed to get her intentions and thrust once slowly. Rachel gasped and closed her eyes as his shaft sunk deep inside her. Tom stilled and she felt a good deal of his weight sink onto her.
He was still for a moment then started to thrust in and out in a slow steady motion. Rachel leaned up and kissed a trail down his chest, nipping him in a few places as the sensations in her belly started to build. Soon they were locked in a frantic rhythm as each of them had lost control. Rachel felt her orgasm build, starting in her toes and raising higher and higher in her middle. She let out a moan as she fell over the edge and her insides starting twitching with pleasure. She felt herself clamp around him as she rode the waves of ecstasy crashing through her body. At some point Tom had joined her in release.
Tom collapsed to the bed next to her panting. She reached out and stroked the side of his face. He leaned into her touch. He turned on his side and draped an arm over her.
"Well," Rachel said with a smile.
"Well," Tom replied. "I told you I missed you. Five days is a long time."
"How did it go after I left?"
"Not going to lie, it was difficult, but at the same time it wasn't," Tom said, reaching up and brushing her damp hair back from her face. "I think I worked out my guilt." Rachel chuckled.
"Sure felt like it," she said playfully. Tom started to stroke his fingers up and down her bare shoulder. Rachel enjoyed the sensation the motions were causing.
"I did some more grieving. I talked with Ashley some more. I came to terms with…us…and Darien. I'm sorry I hurt you."
"It's not that you hurt me," Rachel began. Tom reached over and placed his fingers over her mouth quieting her.
"Let me explain, because I did hurt you," Tom said. Rachel nodded. Tom licked his lips, and she could see him contemplating what to say. Finally, he broke the silence. "I was so busy using you as a rock I didn't realize I was crushing you. And for that I'm truly sorry. I never took into consideration just how hard it was on you to endure everything while trying to be strong for me. I'll never be able to express my appreciation of what you have done for me. I didn't mean to crumble you under my weight and I'm truly grateful that you held me for as long as you did. But in you crumbling and leaving me I was forced to reevaluate everything."
Rachel blinked back tears and ran her hand along his jaw. Tom smiled and leaned in to kiss her. He pulled back and began speaking again.
"I never intended to hurt you, and I hope I never do again. I didn't notice when you first started to show some cracks and I apologize that I was so wrapped up in my own grief and guilt that I didn't take into account just how much you could actually handle before it was too much.
"When you were gone those five days, I realized just how much I have come to love you, guilt or no guilt, Darien is gone, and you are in front of me. It stopped mattering when I fell in love with you, just mattering that I was indeed in love with you. Because I do love you, Rachel Scott, with all my heart."
"I love you too, Tom," Rachel whispered. Tom moved and pulled the covers back before settling back into the bed on his back. Rachel maneuvered herself under the covers and curled up next to him with her head on his chest.
"I don't ever want to lose you, Rachel," Tom said softly and kissed the top of her head. Rachel kissed his chest.
To Be Continued…
Author's Note 2: Well I hope you enjoyed that chapter
