Author's Note: Sorry about the gap in this one. Was working on the mirror story. Happy reading! Dark rolling sea.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Something woke Rachel and her brain drifted back into consciousness from the land of sleep. Slowly her surroundings came into view. Behind her pressed against her was a warm body. A hand was tracing random patterns on her arm. She smiled and burrowed further back against Tom's chest. She felt a kiss against her ear.

"Morning," he whispered.

"Good morning," she breathed out.

"I need to get up," Tom sighed heavily. Rachel pushed herself back against him a little more.

"That's disappointing," she breathed out. She felt Tom's chest rumble as he chuckled. He kissed her cheek. "Where does this leave us?"

The question slipped out before she could stop it. She hadn't meant to say it like that, but it was something weighing on her mind. They had been through a lot in a short period of time, dealing with a lot of emotional baggage. She felt Tom lay his forehead against the back of her neck and sigh heavily.

"Hopefully in a great place," Tom whispered. Rachel paused a moment and absorbed his words. Then she rolled herself over, so they came face to face. Her hand came up and gently cupped the side of his face. She looked into his eyes and saw a peacefulness that had been missing for a while.

"You really did deal with a lot over the last five days," Rachel said, as she stroked his cheek. He smiled and dipped in kissing her on the mouth. He pulled back throwing his leg over her hip and pulling her closer.

"I did a lot of soul searching. I did a lot of talking things through. I came to terms with my feelings so I could talk to Ashley about hers. So yes, I did deal with a lot over the past five days."

"Talks with your dad?"

"Some. Kelly cornered me too. She said I was screwing this up and that I was going to push you away if I didn't stop fucking around," Tom replied running his hand through her hair.

"Wow," Rachel said with a chuckle. "And?"

"I'm tired of screwing things up. I'm ready to be with you, and only you."

"That sounds amazing," she whispered. Her heart was full. He leaned in and kissed her again then pulled away and rolled to the side of the bed.

"It does, but right now I've got to get up. I'm got the watch starting in about fifteen minutes."

"What are our orders?"

"Right now? Finish restocking supplies. Some crew members still have leave for two more days. Once everyone is back on board, we will get our marching orders."

"So, no idea where our next stop is?"

"No. We will most likely head east towards Europe making sure the cure is spread."

"How long will we be at sea?"

"I don't know, but we can talk about that when I'm not on watch. I really need to get moving. I'm not taking more razing from Mike because I can't be on time."

"It would be worth it," Rachel purred. Mike groaned.

"You are a bad influence on me, Dr. Scott," Tom said in a strangled voice. He then proceeded to get dressed in his uniform. "What are your plans for today? As far as I know you don't have any standing orders."

"I don't know. I guess I can go over the lab one more time. Make sure everything is onboard and ready."

"How is the lab stocked?"

"Filled to the brim. I already organized and categorized everything. Maybe I'll just take a day."

"Sounds good. I'll find you later," he said leaning down onto the bed. He was fully dressed and ready to leave. He kissed her soundly on the lips before standing to his full height. "I love you. I'll see you later."

"I love you too, Tom," she whispered as she wrapped the blanket around her a little tighter. He smiled and stared at her a little longer then nodded once and turned, walking out of the stateroom.

A few hours later Rachel was standing on the deck of the ship against the railing staring out to sea. It was a peaceful day, and she was enjoying the weather and the view. Someone sidled up next to her and she glanced over to see Tex Nolan leaning on the top railing staring out at the ocean.

"Hello, Tex," Rachel said affectionately. Tex looked at her and smiled then focused his gaze at the sea again.

"Doc," Tex said distractedly. Rachel studied him and could see something was weighing on his mind. She reached a hand over and gently placed it on his shoulder and squeezed.

"Something the matter?" She asked softly. Tex gave a forced smile and let out a sigh. Rachel waited him out. He turned and leaned his side against the top railing line, Rachel dropped her hand. Crossing his arms in front of him, he studied Rachel. The scrutiny that she was under made her feel self-conscious.

"So, you and the captain," he said nonchalantly. She could tell from his eyes that the question was anything but. She looked out to sea and then back at Tex.

"Yes."

"Serious?"

"Very," Rachel said her hand gripping his arm in the bend on his elbow gently. He looked down at the contact then back up at her. He nodded slowly.

"You know I once told him I was making my move for you because he hadn't. I could see the way you looked at him."

"He told me that," Rachel said smiling at the memory. Tex nodded slowly.

"How long after that did he make his move? Because you sure weren't buying what I was selling."

"Actually, it was a while. He told me you said that before you two were captured by the Russians."

"Yes, while we were floating at sea. He told me to go for it. But then on that Russian ship…that kiss."

"What about it?"

"It just seemed like something was going on already."

"No. It was part of the plan to kiss him and pass the note on to him," Rachel explained. Tex studied her eyes.

"But?" He asked and Rachel looked down at her feet, her hand dropping from his arm.

"Look, it started as…" Rachel started, but she really didn't know what to say. That was the turning point in the relationship and both her and Tom seemed to agree. But she was having trouble putting that thought into words.

"Yeah, passing that note. But then you two had to be pulled apart. Seemed pretty personal."

"Maybe it became that once it started," Rachel said with a smile. She turned to face out to sea again. "I never meant to hurt you, Tex. Your friendship meant…means…a lot to me. I hope it can continue even though Tom and I are together."

"Well see that's part of the reason I wanted to talk to you. I wanted you to hear from me and not someone else."

"What?" Rachel asked a little alarmed.

"I made a decision. I haven't talked to the captain yet, but…"

"But what?"

"I'm not shipping out again. I'm going stateside to look for my daughter," Tex said softly. The words hit Rachel like a ton of bricks. And she took a moment to process what it all meant. It meant Tex was leaving, for good. The thought saddened her. She looked at him as he in turn stared at her. She reached over and wrapped him in a hug. His arms came around her and squeezed her tightly to him.

"We'll miss you around here, Tex," she whispered in his ear. He pulled back a little, locked eyes with her, then surprised her as he leaned in and kissed her passionately on the mouth. He broke the kiss off and nodded.

"I'll miss you too, Doc, but I think it's for the best for everyone."

"I'm sorry, Tex," she said, and he simply nodded.

"I'll see you when I see you, Doc. Take care of the captain, he tends to find trouble everywhere he goes."

"I will," she whispered working to hold back her tears. Tex cupped the side of her face gently.

"I love you, Doc, but I know when I'm beat," he said softly then abruptly walked away. Rachel stayed at the wire and watched the birds flying around the ship. Tears streaked down her cheeks as her friend walked away for the last time.

Sometime later, someone came up behind her and placed their hands on her shoulders and she jumped slightly. The tears had stopped but she still felt ragged and raw. The person behind her kissed the side of her head, and then there was warm breath in her ear.

"You, okay?" Tom's voice was just above a whisper, and a shiver ran through her body. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her back against his chest.

"Tex is leaving," she breathed out. She felt Tom nod against her.

"I know I just talked to him. He said he was going to find his daughter, but I felt it was something more than that."

"You'd be right," Rachel sighed. Tom kissed her temple. "It's because he's in love with me, but he doesn't feel he has a chance."

"Does he?" Tom asked hesitantly. Rachel leaned deeper into his chest, her hand coming up to grip his arm.

"No. He never really did. Even if…even if this hadn't happened, I don't think I would have ever felt about him how he felt about me."

"You, okay?'

"I'll miss his friendship. I'll miss him having your back," she replied.

"So will I," he sighed out. They stood like that for a while before Tom pulled away. Rachel turned to face him. "I have to get back to my duties. Get this ship ready for deployment. I'll see you for dinner?"

"Yes. I'll be in our room," Rachel said without thinking. Tom smiled wide at her admission, leaned down and kissed her soundly. He then turned and walked away. Rachel stood on deck for a few more moments before she turned away and headed back to the stateroom she shared with Tom.

To Be Continued…