Woohoo! The tenth chapter is up! Things really turn upside down in this chapter... so yeah. Rate, Review, and enjoy!
"Integra… I'm afraid there's some bad news."
The doctor's voice was calm but solemn as he spoke. His tone was almost unnerving. Integra gave him a calculating stare, which his gaze avoided, in almost a guilty manner.
"Tell me." She said simply. Her cold eyes bore no emotion as she looked straight at the doctor with that piercing stare of hers.
"I'm afraid there have been some complications with your pregnancy…"
The doctor stumbled over his words, stammering as if he were afraid of her retribution on the matter, as if she would shoot the messenger. Integra pursed her lips in an irritated, anxious manner.
"Out with it, man." She spat, becoming irrate at his lack of answer.
"I'm sorry, Integra. Somehow, your pregnancy has self-terminated. Since you were only two weeks into your first trimester, and the embryo had barely begun to develop, your body will dispose of it when you get your period, which should be in a week or so. Again, I'm terribly sorry."
That had been a month ago. One month that had felt like it had gone by at an excruciatingly slow pace. It had all happened as the doctor had said. When she began to menstruate again, any small hope that Integra had that the doctor may have given a faulty prognosis was decimated. And somehow, it felt like a small part of her had been shattered. No matter how much she wanted to deny it, a part of her had been looking foreword to motherhood. It was the part of her that took pride in the interior decorating of her prospective child's room, the part of her that mused over names and whether or not her baby would be a boy or a girl. The sudden removal of that hope had left her crushed. Weak.
Integra had stowed herself away in her room, locking herself into a chasm of gloom. One month. The sun was setting behind the horizon, and Integra found herself standing at the window in her bedchamber, tears rolling down her face, hot, wet and burning. Life wasn't fair… but since when had she expected it to be?
"Master…"
Alucard. His voice was languid and much more forgiving than it usually was. Integra had kept her door locked, but no such trivial thing would stop him. He had left her alone since their last conversation, Integra having conveyed all her orders to him through Walter. But these past weeks, he had been leaving her alone for a different reason. For the same reason she was standing at the windowsill, crying.
"Alucard… I... I was…" She stammered as she whipped around her nightgown swirling about her knees. Her face was red and blotchy from crying, and she wiped her puffy eyes with the back of her hand.
"…Crying?" He finished her sentence. A heavy, thick pause ensued, either party reluctant to finish what was said. How could one finish such a statement? Integra Hellsing was crying. She had given way, let some emotion seep through her seemingly impenetrable shell, a cocoon she had surrounded herself in her whole life. The emotional barrier had been broken through, and this was what was left... this shadow of Integra's former glorious strength.
"I'm being silly." She mumbled softly, sniffling as she tried to hold back her tears, feeling more ready to breach the barrier of her eyes, eyes which stared down at her feet, rather than at her looming servant. She could feel his stare, cold and grave upon her, and felt stupid and exposed beneath it. "I was only two weeks pregnant… why should I be so upset? I have absolutely no reason… I didn't even want to have a child in the first place, and now I'm crying over something so… so…" She wiped her eyes again, fighting hard against the tears.
"Integra, it isn't just this. What happened, it was the straw that broke the longsuffering camel's back. You are under so much pressure, and deal with so much pain. More than anyone should. You never let anyone in, because you think you can handle it all. I haven't seen you shed a tear for your father since the day we met, you bear the weight of the organization, you watch your men suffer and die, you sacrifice so much every day. Let me help you."
"NO!" She wailed, her voice becoming stringy and desperate. "I don't need any help. I don't need your help. I am perfectly under control. I am Sir Integral Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing, and I am perfectly in control of myself!"
Her eyes turned their cold and steely gaze towards him, tears still flowing free, wetting the rims of her glasses. A sigh escaped Alucard's lips. Not a chuckle or a sardonic laugh… just a sigh. A sound foreign and strange for him. Integra… she was so proud. So stubborn. Despite her powerful beauty, she was not a creature without fault.
"You are only human."
Integra couldn't even articulate or rationalize her thoughts. Her mind and her heart were full; bursting at the seams with emotion that spilled over in the form of tears.
"I… I…" She didn't know what to say. In a fit of frustration, she flung herself at him, the passionate throes of anger overtaking her as she pounded his chest with her little, balled fists. She hit him with all her might, her fists making loud hammering noises against his broad trunk. Her wild hair clung to her wet face as she thumped at Alucard, but he stood his ground, graciously taking her blows. She hit him again and again until she panted with fatigue, her frame collapsing into his.
"I hate you… I hate you…" She mumbled into his chest, her body heaving for breath, and her shoulders shaking as she began to sob.
Alucard tentatively put his arms around Integra's frame. She felt so small against him, her body trembling like a little bird. He didn't know how to comfort her… how do you react when a woman who is usually so in control reaches her breaking point? Even as a young child, she had never been this needy, this upset. She had held these tears back for a long time. His black waistcoat began to get soaked with Integra's tears. He cradled her little form against his, his hands gently stroking her silvery, askew hair in a comforting way. His minstrations were mildy soothing, but the anger and sorrow were not so easily wiped away.
"…I hate you…"
"Integra, I love you."
"You can't… you just can't… I know you can't…" She shook her head, unable even to try to reason with him over this issue. Her thoughts were a wild amalgamation of each other, swirling in the turmoil of her mind.
"You just won't let me."
"You're a killer, a demon, a monster… you can't love me… you just can't…"
With his thumb, he gently wiped the tears from her cheeks, his glove becoming wet as he did so. He lifted her chin, looking her straight in the face. She tried to pull her head away, but his grip was firm. She averted her eyes, refusing to look him dead in the face.
"Integra… look at me." He growled at her, his tone firm but at the same time, gentle.
She squirmed against him, but finally submitted when he would not yield. Looking up at his face, she was surprised by what she found there. His features were not contorted into his usual wily grin, and his tinted glasses did not mask his eyes. His hair was tousled, his lips set in a frown, and his red eyes, still dark and menacing, were invaded by emotion.
"It pains me to see you this way." He whispered.
Still against him, she could smell the metallic twinge of stale blood on his breath. Her tears had stopped, but the chasm within her had not been pervaded. She felt so empty, and yet at the same time, so full.
"It's not fair…" She whispered back, resting her head at the base of is neck. Alucard could feel her heart beating in her chest, her blood coursing though her veins, though the entirity of her body. He wanted to taste her so badly... to feel her sweet, noble blood on his lips. She was right... it wasn't fair.
"I know."
They stood in silence for a while, some silent understanding having been formed. It was brittle, gossamer and ephemeral, but it was there. For a moment, they both comprehended each other.
She rubbed her face again, as if for good dismissing any tears that possibly lingered.
"What shall I tell Parliament? They have to know sooner or later that the pregnancy failed."
"I still want to be the father of your child, Integra."
His hands slowly crept to the small of her back, one resting against her hip, the other reaching lower to caress her thigh. She smelled sweet… he could feel the blood pulsing through her. He could not have her blood… but he would take her body as a consolation prize. Her guard was down. She would not refuse him.
"But…" She said in a weak protest. But she was too broken to argue, too mentally and physically exhausted. Alucard made a shh-ing noise before his lips moved to her ear, gently nibbling on her flesh. His hands moved from her hips to her back, where her nightgown was buttoned. His mouth roving about the flesh near her jaw and neck, he undid each button at an excruciatingly slow pace.
Integra's mind was a blur, too upset for any of this to really register. She felt him there… she knew of his implications, of his intentions, but did nothing. She stayed in Alucard's grasp, and did not fight. It was all like a dream, unfolding in her fuzzy, tired mind. Her gaze went blank.
Alucard unfastened the last little button, letting the garment fall about her ankles. Her body was exposed, soft and unblemished, and he ran his hands along her frame, excitement and lust coursing through him. The seals protected her from him drinking from her… but anything else was up for the taking. He scooped her thin, bare frame up in his arms, and led her over to the bed, laying her down. She looked up at him with her big, pale eyes that were still slightly reddened from the tears. She was so… innocent. Her world had just been turned upside down, and she was caught up in all of this as she tried to get back on her feet. He would almost regret taking advantage of her in this way. Almost.
"You're beautiful, My dear." He husked lustily in her ear as he crouched over her, ready to take first claim to her virginity. His grin returned, feral and provocative. She was all his for the taking.
Defiled.
I have forfeited myself
Bodies twist and writhe in the night
Screams of pain, pleasure, ecstasy, fill the air
She whom I desire
He, whom I loathe
Entwined in a dance as old as time
A steady rhythm pulses
I cry out for you
I crave your touch
I want your lips against mine
Your hips against mine
How much is there
that needs to be forgotten
And remembered
It will all be okay
It will all end
As much as you are mine
I am yours
Finished. Wow. Not much to say after that.
Don't own Hellsing? Join the club, mate!
-is pelted with tomatoes-
God, I hope that chapter wasnt TOO bad... -braces herself for a multitude of flames-
Please review! I love feed back!
Cheers, Kimi-Taco
