Description: Book 5: Of Love and Life from Kitten's point of view.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters. Everything belongs to Tamora Pierce.

Author's Note: I left myself several little notes through book 5 about scenes where I needed to mention where Kitten was and what she was up to. She has a lot more independence in the palace so it's fun to play with the mischief that she gets into when no one is watching.

Apologies for the delay in posting this chapter. I've been suffering with a lot of insecurities and self-doubt again. I think I am procrastinating a lot because I promised myself I would focus on my own work after I have finished book 6.

AZDesertRose: A huge thank you for the feedback. I have taken it onboard and deliberately changed what Kitten would steal to practice her magic on.

Chapter 5

The war is finally over, and all the humans are occupied with burying the dead or healing the wounded. Mama is very busy healing all the animals that helped in the fighting. Papa still has to stay in bed recovering and isn't very pleased about it. Mama and I visit him every evening, but I spend most of my days with my grandparents. Grandsire Diamondflame and Grandmother Wingstar say I am very advanced for my age, and they have been taking me flying! How I long for my wings to grow so I can fly by myself, but Grandsire says I will have to wait several centuries before that happens. I am not satisfied with this as both my human parents can fly, and they were not even born with wings! I think I will ask Papa if there is a spell to make my wings grow or some way that I can learn to shapeshift. It isn't fair that everyone else can feel this wonderful freedom to soar through the clouds and feel the wind on their face and I cannot!

Grandsire and Grandmother are leaving to return to the Dragonlands. They offered to let me return with them to visit but I don't want to be apart my parents. I'm afraid something might happen to them if I don't keep an eye on them both. I sulk the entire day after my grandparents leave and refuse to come out of Spots' stall. He tries to cheer me up, but I just want to sit quietly and think about how wonderful it felt being with others of my own kind.

The palace in Corus has not changed and life seems to be normal here. Humans are hard at work everywhere, and I am free to run around without people constantly snarling that I am underfoot or running off to fight and travel with my parents. The best thing about the palace is all the free food I can scrounge. The cooks in the kitchen are mean and they throw pans at me when I sneak in for a snack but two of the kitchen boys always leave me something good to nibble on. I have gotten much better at sneaking around and I am trying to work on invisibility spells of my own, but I can only get them to last a few seconds. Grandsire and Grandmother did it with such ease and I am worried this is another thing I will need to be older for.

The king always shares his breakfast with me. He is as bad as Papa for forgetting to eat and often has a plate on his desk that he lets me finish. Kally is usually lots of fun to visit as she lets me play with whatever I want but the princess is still upset she cannot undergo page training. Playing with the younger royals is always lots of fun and very messy until one of the servants retrieves me and hands me over to Papa with a scowl and a lecture. It's odd how Papa always gets into trouble for my messes, particularly if I've used magic.

I always make time every afternoon to go to the lowest level of the palace to my private space. It is one of the unused cellars and I go there to practice my spells where no one will scold me. This was the first room where I learned to whistle off the lock and open the door. Here I practice my invisibility, light and fire spells and try to replicate some of Papa's more complicated spells which he won't teach me. The one I have been trying to perfect for years is the spell where Papa made something disappear. He didn't make it invisible but sent it somewhere. I think it is like sending something to another realm, but if it is a realm then it isn't one I have been able to find. I started off by stealing Papa's socks from the dirty wash basket to practice with, but I found it's easier to take the quills and half used ink pots from his desk instead. Since the war I have been trying to make my scales shine like Grandmother Wingstar did. I can do this with stone so I am certain I can do it with my scales. So far all I have succeeded in doing in making lightning race over my body, but it's a start!

Mama and Papa have become far more affectionate since returning from the Divine Realms. They spend a lot of time doing the kissing thing and often forget that I am in the room which vexes me. Papa has been giving Mama pretty flowers made of magic which she wears in her hair. I am still struggling with illusion magic and haven't been able to produce anything better than a plain, grey rock! I don't understand why Mama's friends don't know that Papa is the one giving them to her or why she doesn't just tell them. My parents can behave very strangely sometimes. They have become far less interesting since they started kissing so I tend to leave them to it and amuse myself. At least Tkaa is now staying at the palace, so I always have someone to talk to.

Papa is currently experimenting with Stormwing feathers, bones and flesh. I have been enjoying looking through his magnifying lens and learning about cells which make up all living creatures. Papa says that it is cells which convert the nutrients in the food I eat into energy so that the cells can perform different functions. I love learning things from my Papa but after a few days he is still looking at the same cells and I become bored. I'm not sure what he finds so interesting about them day after day but weeks later he is still looking at them!

Mama and Papa are squabbling again. I know it even though there is no shouting because Mama refuses to visit Papa even though she sighs and misses him for days. I ignore this silliness because I know they will make up again soon. My parents never stay mad at each other for very long, so I act as if nothing has changed. Sure enough, after a few days Mama and Papa are kissing again as if nothing happened. This must be a human thing similar to cat behaviour, like when felines get into a huff with their humans and decide to put them in their place. I compare my parents to cats because they keep making noises while they kiss and pet each other that sounds suspiciously like purring.

I am sulking in Papa's study. Spots told me that my parents have gone flying when I came to visit Mama in the stables. We were supposed to hunt Papa out of his rooms and then go for the midday meal. It isn't fair that my parents can fly, and I cannot! It didn't annoy me this much when they used to do it when Mama first learned to shapeshift, but now I know how it feels to fly and I hate that I cannot join them. I am the dragon! I was born with wings, yet they are so small and useless even if I flap them very hard I don't even lift off the floor. I stay angry with my parents for most of the evening until Papa feeds me a strawberry tart and Mama lets me have hers. I decide I am angrier at the unfairness of my situation than at my parents but that doesn't stop me managing to beg two more tarts before we return to Papa's rooms.

I wake in the middle of the night to a scratching at Papa's door. It isn't the first time I have slept in his rooms, but I am fascinated by the sound. I approach cautiously and whistle the door open to be more confused when two dogs and five palace cats enter and head towards the bedchamber. I cannot contain my curiosity, so I follow them to discover Mama is sleeping with Papa in his bed. I watch as the animals join my parents in Papa's large bed. There are bats hanging from the canopy frame and I squeak in shock when an owl flies past me to land on the top of the bed. Grumbling, I return to my comfy chair and the warm fire. I wonder if I should leave the door open so the animals can leave again but Papa doesn't like the door to his rooms left open, so I whistle it shut before going back to sleep.

This is a good development between my parents as Mama and I now sleep in Papa's rooms several days a week. Papa even made me my own corner with a bed, my toybox and my very own bookshelf! Zek has also moved in with us and Papa leaves small bowls of fruit around his rooms which the marmoset often shares with me. I hate it when Mama decides we will sleep in the stables now. Her room is small and cramped and nowhere near as good as Papa's rooms even if I keep getting woken up in the middle of the night to let the animals in.

I am SO excited for the ball tonight. Mama insists that I take a nap in the middle of the day which I argue against until she reasons that I will be upset if I fall asleep in the middle of the ball. I agree with her logic even if it takes me ages to fall asleep. When I wake, Mama is extremely upset to be taken away by Alanna and Thayet. I'm never certain why she makes such a fuss about wearing the dresses with all the different layers, ruffles and textures. I find them fascinating even if I regularly get scolded for touching in case I ruin the fabric with my claws. I am always careful! I know not to damage something so pretty and I know the spells to repair the damage if something does happen – which it doesn't! I have to stay with Papa which isn't as interesting. He takes forever in the bath and won't let me play with his oils anymore after the last time when I drank all of particularly nice smelling bottle. I play with my toys and flip through several books until Papa finally returns and says I can dress up for the ball too! He ties a pink ribbon around my tail and gives me my own crystal to wear! I have never loved Papa more than I do right now. I am so excited, and I cannot wait to show everyone, especially Mama!

I insist on walking to the throne room myself and I carry my tail like a proper lady. I use a bit of my magic to make sure the ribbon on my tail doesn't fall off. When we get to the throne room I leave Papa to go in search of Mama. Their Majesties spot me and tell me how beautiful I look and where to find Mama. I give them my best twirl, but I can't do a curtsey. Mama has a very boring dress on by comparison to the queen. She's wearing something similar to all the other ladies in the room. Alanna and Mama smile when they see me, and I show Mama my bow and my crystal. There is a lot of muttering and nasty looks from the other ladies but the Lioness glares at them all. I open my mouth to squawk a spell at them all, but Mama closes my mouth and stops me. If I hear one more bad thing said about my Mama then I'm going to set alight to their skirts!

After Mama has presented herself to Their Majesties I race off to the ballroom ahead of everyone to find the best place to watch. The thrones afford the best view of the dance floor, so I make myself comfortable. Thayet laughs but says I am welcome to sit here. Mama dances with lots of different partners, and I am disappointed that Papa does not dance with anyone. I know he wanted to dance with Mama but instead he leaves again! I watch the couples dance for a while including the king and queen, but it gets boring after my parents leave and I fall asleep.

I am vexed to wake and discover that neither of my parents returned to collect me and take me to bed. On my way to the stables all the servants and nobles comment on how pretty I look which makes me feel much better, but I still scold Mama when I find her.

Mama's parents visit at the Fall Equinox, and they can understand me! Weiryn prefers to talk to Mama, but Sarra listens to me while I tell her all about life at the palace, my own space in Papa's rooms and my spell practice. She is full of praise and says I may come and visit whenever I like and lets me call her Grandma! Grandma Sarra tells Mama to go and fetch Papa because he has hidden for long enough. Weiryn calls my Papa a coward and I scold him for this until my scales start to tinge red. Grandma Sarra whispers to me that Papa is afraid of them because he wants to marry Mama. I'm not sure I understand this logic. Why would Papa wanting to marry Mama make him afraid of Mama's parents? Grandma Sarra says it's because Papa wants them to like him but how can he do that if he doesn't speak with them? Papa finally joins us, and I go with Mama and Weiryn to watch them shoot arrows while Papa talks with Grandma Sarra. I look after Mama's arrows and hand them to her while she shoots. I always thought Mama was the best archer there was, but Weiryn is even better! I suppose being a god he would be… I help Mama, Thayet and Grandma Sarra with the table for dinner as it's the best opportunity to sample the dishes and see which ones I want to eat the most of. Weiryn passes me all the food I could want and tells me in mind-speech that I may call him Grandpa. I think Grandpa Weiryn is secretly very sweet like my Papa but doesn't want anyone to know. This might be a god thing.

Mama and I now share Papa's rooms and sleep here every night. I hope this is permanent and not just for winter. When the queen visits she says she will get a plaque made to say Mama and Papa are officially living together! Now Mama can't make me sleep in the draughty stables anymore although I will miss Spots. I think I should have a plaque too, but no one listens to me. Tkaa's room are only just down the hall which means it will be much quicker to find him. Papa helps me find places for all my special stones and crystals, and I love sharing his huge bed in the mornings before he takes me down to breakfast.

I think my parents have started mating. I have caught them several times with very little clothing on and a strange scent in the air. Sometimes there are strange noises coming from the bedchamber at night, but my parents don't like it when I come to investigate. Human mating is very different to animal mating. Animals mate to have young but Mama is very adamant about wearing the charm Grandma Sarra gave her. Considering we have studied all about animal mating behaviour I don't understand why my parents, especially Papa, won't let me study them. Tkaa tells me that humans are very private creatures and do not enjoy people watching while they pet or mate with each other.

There is a strange hum in our rooms which has been annoying me for several days. It's coming from the back wall. Without checking with Papa, I croak and remove the magic that I can sense there. Papa is very upset with me but not angry when I destroy the complex set of illusion and protection spells he had created to conceal Mama's birthday surprise. Papa is having a stairway and a small balcony built for Mama so that the animals can visit her, and I don't have to keep opening the door for them. Papa is very thoughtful like that. I ignore the hum for Mama, but it is still a long time before her birthday.

What did Papa do! I don't know what hairbrained experiment he has concocted this time, but Papa blew up the fireplace and all my things! I am furious with him! The spells on my books have kept them safe but it takes ages to find all my crystals in the rubble. Papa is very apologetic, and I refuse to forgive him until he offers me his silk black Carthaki robe to sleep on. It is very comfortable and soft, and he even lets me keep it for lining after Mama finds me a new basket.

Mama wears a proper dress for the Midwinter Ball. It's dark blue with lots of crystals making it look like the night sky while Thayet's dress looks more like snowflakes on ice. We all get ready in Their Majesties rooms, and I specially bring my necklace with me and insist someone help me put it on. Mama and I argue but eventually she gives in and ties a blue ribbon around my tail which matches the colour of her dress. When Papa sees us he is very impressed, but I start to worry about him during dinner. My Papa is rarely clumsy, but he manages to spill his dinner on his fine clothes several times throughout the meal. I am trying to remember if he slept the previous night and think maybe Mama should have insisted he take a nap earlier. Papa lets me use my magic to clean up his clothes and then I steal the throne again to finally watch my parents' dance! They look so elegant! There are lots of people watching them and they all look envious. My parents don't just perform one dance together but several. Tkaa joins me and we discuss the jewels on each lady's dress and around their necks and what they taste like. Mama and Papa disappear for a while but return later and resume dancing before coming to chat with us.

Mama is very sad the next day and I cannot understand why until Papa refuses to join us for the day. Today everyone exchanges gifts and I always get lots to eat. Tkaa helped me find a very pretty stone for Mama which is made up of several types of crystal which sparkle in a rainbow of colours when I whistle to it for her. Grandma Sarra and Grandpa Weiryn join us for the midday meal, and I tell them all about the dancing, the food and the changes Papa is making to his rooms for Mama's birthday. We go for a walk and Mama starts crying thinking Papa will leave her. Apparently, Papa proposed a permanent union last night, but Mama refused him. I'm not sure whether to be cross with Mama for saying no or Papa for making her cry. Why are my parents so stupid? Grandma Sarra tells Mama that Papa will understand in time, but he is hurt. So that's why Papa didn't want to join us today! She doesn't think Papa would ever leave Mama and neither do I. Even Grandpa Weiryn doesn't have a bad thing to say, only that he will respect whatever Mama decides.

Papa doesn't join us until the evening and doesn't give anyone their presents when he finally does emerge. I know he is lying when he tells everyone he forgot to buy anything because I know where he is hiding the gifts! I am so angry with him that I refuse to speak with Papa or give him his present, a rock with a fossilised creature. The next day I break the sight shield Papa put over the gifts and retrieve Mama's present from the shelf in his workroom. Mama is very angry and upset with me when I show them to her. I don't know why she is so upset with me when it's Papa who lied to us! Mama is very upset when I show her the ring Papa bought for her and even cries a little. She tells me to put all the gifts back where I found them, and she won't tell Papa what I did. I am cross with both my parents now, even after Papa finally lets me have my new story book. I stay angry with him for a good week before I finally give in and let him read me a new story.

In Spring Mama takes me to Cría with her and Onua. I am upset that Papa will not join us, but he has to teach the new pages. I enjoy the journey for the first week or two but then it starts to get boring and reminds me too much of all the travelling we did during the war. Mama has stolen one of Papa's shirts and uses it for a pillow at night, so I think she misses him too. I wonder if it would have been more fun to listen to Papa teach the pages about magic and the Immortals. I don't like it when my parents are separated like this. I think Papa will be safe in Corus without us and I know Mama needs me to go with her and keep her safe.

Cría is very big and interesting with lots of new and exciting smells. I make Mama or Onua take me to all the food stalls so I can taste the food. They are only interested in the ponies but there is so much more to see! I wander away often to explore on my own which makes Mama worry. I forgot that it scares her when I am out of sight in strange places. I think she is afraid I will get taken and put in another cage like in Carthak.

The journey home is long, cold and difficult because of all the snow and mud. Everyone is grumpy which means Cloud is especially bad tempered and snaps at me several times. I am so happy when we reach home, particularly when Papa juggles for me and teaches me new magic. I'm not even angry when my parents keep me up half the night with their mating calls because the room is warm, and I have my basket. The next day after a very long lie-in I tell Tkaa all about Cría.

Mama and Papa mate every time they are alone together now, which is quite often. I have no idea why they find it so interesting, but they prefer it to meals and sleep. I am trying to stay out of their way and spend a lot more time with Tkaa and Lindhall. At least they aren't boring, and they are always happy to have me around and teach me things. I'm not too annoyed with my parents as they still spend their evenings with me, and Papa helps me with my magic, including this new spell to float objects off the ground. I still get my bedtime story and it is easier to sleep now Papa has put sound wards around the bedchamber.

In Summer we all travel to Papa's tower by the coast. It reminds me of the early days when we travelled together as a family. Mama and Papa are happy and relaxed, even Spots and Cloud are in high spirits. I am mildly irritated when my parents want to mate the moment we arrive at the tower, but we spend the rest of the day together and I make sure they spoil me later. Spots and Cloud have no idea why my parents constantly mate either without producing any foals, but they are glad their humans are so happy.

Papa is finally teaching me to read! Now I will be able to understand all his books by myself and do all my own learning. I apply myself in earnest and often run off with one of the books Papa leaves out for me to practice writing my letters in the ground with a claw. I hope Tkaa will help me with languages once I can read. I know many of Papa's books are in different and ancient languages.

The days are some of the best I can remember with walks along the beach, playing in the waves and stargazing at night. The only sour note is when my parents go flying together, but I forgive them almost immediately when Papa takes me under the ocean with him so we can watch Mama swim and shapeshift while he tells me all about the fish and crustations. He is going to teach me the spells to walk under the water when I am older! Tomorrow we are going visit Pirate's Swoop and I can't wait to play with Thom, Alan and Aly!