Author's note: Sorry about the long break! I've been super busy that last couple weeks and have one more trip to get out of the way this coming week before things settle down! Hope you are still reading and enjoying this adventure! Happy reading, dark rolling sea.

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

Rachel cried for a while, letting the emotions leak out of her. She felt exhausted and raw. She knew this was going to happen, but it still didn't soften the blow any. She loved Tom and hoped that the environment became less hostile. She laid her hand on her stomach and thought about the baby they were going to have.

She wondered if it would be a boy or a girl. She thought about if she wanted one more than the other and decided it didn't really matter to her. She hoped the baby had his eyes. Her tears slowed as she thought about the baby. Her thoughts drifted to what Tom had told Ashley when she asked if they were getting married.

She sighed and wondered if he really meant what he had said. They had never talked about marriage, but it sounded like Tom had plans. She had to admit the thought did make her happy. For the first time in her life, she was in a relationship that she wanted to last a lifetime. There was a seriousness to the relationship that she had never felt before. If any of the past men in her life had proposed she would have laughed in their face, but not Tom Chandler. She would say yes. The thought made her smile.

She had no idea how much time had passed when she heard the bedroom door open and close. She didn't move. Footsteps came across the room, and she still didn't move. She felt the bed dip, and then Tom was draping his body over hers and hugging her tightly. She closed her eyes and soaked up his warmth.

After a long while she shifted, and he released his hold enough for her to turn so they were both on their sides facing each other. Rachel laid her head on her arm and stared at him. She could see the rawness in his eyes and the emotional turmoil. She reached up with her free hand and placed it gently against his chest. He smiled a weak smile as he closed his eyes and dropped his head to the pillow.

Rachel leaned in and kissed his gently on the lips, letting him know she was there. He opened his eyes and stared at her, but still didn't say anything. Rachel smiled and slid her hand over his ribcage and down his side to his hip.

"So, are you going to ask me or are you just going to show up one day with a priest?" Rachel asked quietly. She saw a blush creep up Tom's cheeks as he smiled a shy smile. He closed his eyes again for a moment and she pulled her hand up and ran it through his hair. He leaned into her touch but then opened his eyes.

"I know we never discussed it," Tom said, his voice having an apologetic tone to it. "But we should. With baby Chandler on the way," he said with a shrug. Rachel smiled. Tom reached over and placed his hand gently against her stomach.

"Are you ready for that again?" Rachel asked. Tom rolled onto his back and put an arm behind his head. Rachel scooted closer and tucked herself in to his side, draping a leg over his.

"Are you?" Tom asked seriously. Rachel turned her head to look up at him. She thought for a moment and saw the worry in his eyes. She smiled at him to try to ease his mind.

"Just waiting for you to ask," she whispered as she pushed up on her elbow and kissed him slowly. She felt Tom sigh against her.

"So…would you...Marry me?" Tom asked with uncertainty. Rachel smiled a broad smile and nodded slowly.

"Yes, of course," she answered, and he captured her lips in a passionate kiss. They pulled apart and settled back down on the bed.

"Before or after the baby comes?" Tom asked suddenly. Rachel was a little stunned by the question. She hadn't thought that far ahead.

"I don't know. What do you think?"

"I think we should do it tomorrow, but maybe that's too soon for you," Tom whispered, and Rachel felt the shock of his statement.

"Tomorrow?"

"We could just take Dad and the kids down to the courts and have a judge marry us," Tom said. Rachel thought about it, and he was right it didn't matter when they did it, the end result would be the same. She thought about if she wanted a real wedding or if doing it in the courthouse was ok. "Unless you want to wait until we can get everyone together."

"I don't know," Rachel said honestly. "I would like to have some of the old crew I think."

"Proper wedding with a wedding party and the works?"

"I think I might."

"You think? It's okay if you want to wait until later."

"Don't you want some of your friends to be at the wedding?"

"Either way. I just want to be able to call you Mrs. Chandler," Tom whispered in her ear and then kissed her from her ear down her jaw.

"Mmmhmm," she said as what he was doing was making it hard to think.

"I like the way that sounds," Tom said in a husky tone as he found her lips with his. Rachel felt his tongue touch her lips. She opened her mouth and the kiss deepened in intensity.

"Me too, but it's Dr. Chandler," she mumbled when they broke for air. They stared at each other for a long while before Rachel laid her head on his chest.

"We can probably set up something pretty quickly if you want to do it now. Or if you prefer to wait until the baby comes, we can do that too."

"Let me think about it," Rachel replied.

"Yes, ma'am," Tom said gently. "We still need to tell Sammy about the baby. Ashley doesn't think he will take it very well."

"How did things go after I left?"

"Well, you scored major points with Ashley with the dressing down you gave me when you left."

"So, things got better? And you deserved that dressing down," she said. Tom laughed.

"Yes, things get better. She's got a lot going on so I'm going to find a shrink she can talk to to help her through it."

"She agreed?"

"Yes, at least to try. It's not that she doesn't like you, it's just she feels I'm replacing her mother very quickly."

"It was rather…"

"It's okay," Tom said cutting her off. "I know it happened fast, but I'm okay with it now. I told her about you losing your mother so she may talk to you. But I didn't get the feeling she dislikes you as a person just what you represent in her life."

"I don't want to replace her mother," Rachel said quickly.

"I know that, and I explained that to her. I also explained that you'd be a good friend and you are the mother of her youngest sibling."

There was a quiet knock on their bedroom door. Rachel looked over at it before glancing at Tom. He had a frown on his face. He shifted a little in the bed.

"Come in," he said, and Rachel laughed quietly at the command that came out. Tom looked at her with a glare.

The door opened and Sam poked his head in hesitantly. Tom sighed under Rachel, but she felt him loop an arm around her holding her in place, gently letting her know that it was okay to be in the position they were in in front of his son.

"What do you need, Sammy?" Tom asked.

"I just…it was lonely…I don't know," the little boy stumbled through his words. Tom raised his free hand and made a gesture for Sam to come to him.

"Come here, I know it's been a rough ride for a while," Tom said gently. Sam walked over to the bed side and Tom shifted a little and Rachel scooted towards her side as they made room for Sam. He crawled into the bed with them and laid on Tom's other side.

"I miss Mom," Sam whispered, and Rachel could hear the heartache in the little boy's words.

"I know, I do too," Tom replied quietly as his hand stroked Rachel's side.

The three of them laid there quietly for a long while as Tom comforted Sam. Rachel loved watching this side of him and was excited to see him with their own child when the time came. She sighed contently and Tom leaned his head over to look at her. She looked up at him and smiled. He kissed her gently on the lips then turned his head back to Sam.

"Sam," Tom said breaking the silence.

"Yeah, Dad?" the boy asked.

"How would you feel about being a big brother?" Tom asked quietly. Rachel saw Sam stiffen at the words. The boy was quiet for a long while. "Sam?" Tom prompted.

"Why would you ask that?" Sam asked a hint of anger in his words. Rachel felt a pang of worry wiggle through her.

"Well, Rachel and I want you to know that you're going to be a big brother in a couple of months."

"What?" he asked and now there was a lot of anger in his voice. Tom pulled his arm from around Rachel and sat up in the bed, sitting back against the headboard. Sam sat up too and turned his back to his dad.

"You're going to have a baby brother or sister, Sam. Rachel is having a baby."

"Why?" Sam asked and Rachel thought he was crying.

"Sam," Tom said gently as he put a hand on his son's shoulder. Sam jerked away from him, and Rachel saw the pain in Tom's eyes. "Sammy, what's wrong?"

"I don't want a brother or sister," he said angrily. "I don't want a new mom. I don't want to live here. I don't want a new family. I don't want mom to be dead. I don't want to…I hate all of this!" Sam said his voice growing louder and shriller with each statement. Rachel felt her heart break for the little boy. Rachel pushed herself up and got up from the bed. Tom looked at her bewildered and she gave him a small smile.

"I'll leave you alone with him," she said. Tom looked like he was going to protest, but Rachel knew it would be better if she wasn't in the room right now. "He needs you," she whispered, then she walked out of the room.

She went downstairs and sat down on the couch, finding the book she had been reading. She curled up, wondering where Jed had gotten off to, and started to read. She heard someone come in and she looked up to see Ashley standing hesitantly in the room looking at her.

"Do you need something?" Rachel asked her. "Your dad is with Sammy right now."

"I know I heard Sammy's meltdown," she said quietly. She waited a moment then continued. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course, anything you want," Rachel said putting the book down. Ashley nodded but was quiet again. Rachel could tell she was working something out in her head. She waited patiently.

"Dad said you lost your mom when you were about my age."

"Yes, I was a little younger, but I did lose my mother."

"How did it happen?" Ashley asked. Rachel sighed then patted the couch next to her. Ashley hesitated a moment, but then came over and sat down.

"My parents were missionaries. We were off on a mission trip and my mother contracted malaria. She got really sick."

"Isn't that treatable?" Ashley asked making a face.

"Yes, it is. Very treatable if done in time."

"So why did she die?"

"My father did not believe in using modern medicine. He thought God would save her."

"So…he let her die?"

"Yes."

"How did you deal with…I'm sorry that's…"

"No, it's okay. I understand the pain you're going through losing your mother to an illness. And it was very difficult to deal with losing my mother when I knew she could have been saved. I carried a lot of anger at my father."

"How did you get over it?"

"I became a doctor, I left and never looked back," Rachel said. "It's why I became the doctor I am today, I studied viruses so that I could save as many people as I could."

"I'm glad you did that," Ashley said. "I miss my mom a lot."

"I know you do," Rachel said.

"Does it get easier?" Ashley asked.

"I don't know if easier is the right word, but yes in a sense as time goes forward it gets less. You develop ways to deal with the pain and sadness. It doesn't ever go away though. It least for me."

"My dad really likes you," Ashley said suddenly. Rachel looked at her and nodded.

"Yes. And I really like him too," Rachel replied.

"I promised Dad to give you a chance."

"I thank you for that," Rachel said warmly. Ashley nodded. "I'm not here to replace your mom."

"I know," Ashley said looking at her hands. "Dad…I want him to be happy."

"Me too. And you and Sammy."

"Do you know what the baby will be? A boy or a girl?"

"No, not yet" Rachel said. Ashley nodded. "Ashley?"

"Yeah?"

"If you ever want or need to talk to someone you can always come to me," Rachel said. Ashley looked at her for a long moment then nodded slowly.

"Okay. I think I'm going to do what dad suggested and talk to a shrink."

"That will probably help," Rachel replied. Ashley nodded slowly. They both looked up as Sam raced past them towards the front door with Tom coming along behind him.

"Sammy!" Tom shouted as the boy charged out the front door. Rachel and Ashley looked at each other before they both got up from the couch and followed Tom out the front door.

To Be Continued…