CHAPTER EIGHT
Tom was sleeping soundly. There was a pleasant weight on his chest and a warmth to him that he had not felt in a long time. There was a ringing sound in his ear, and he felt his brain pull from the pleasant, dreamy state he was currently in. As he came back to consciousness, he realized the phone was ringing. He glanced at the sleeping woman half sprawled on top of him and smiled. He stretched for the phone, trying hard to not wake her up. His fingers managed to just wrap around it, and he pulled it to his ear.
"Captain," he said, his voice holding a groggy quality to it.
"Sorry to wake you, Captain," Rios' voice drifted into his ear. He smiled.
"It's okay, Rios. What's the issue?" He asked, full well knowing what the man was going to say.
"When I arrived in the infirmary this morning, I found Dr. Scott had left sometime in the night."
"Figures," he mumbled as he smiled down at the missing patient. She was still sleeping, clinging to him, pushing deeper into him. Her movements were doing certain things to him, and he was trying hard to control his breathing. "I think we did good to keep her there three days, Doc." She was awake now and realizing where she was. Tom smiled down at her while he listened to Rios.
"Yes, sir. I was planning on releasing her this morning if she was still doing fine."
"If I see her before you do, I'll send her back for a checkup. But if she's fine, go ahead and release her, Rios. I'm thinking she's out of the woods now." He started to rub circles on her shoulder.
"Yes, sir."
Tom hung up the phone and settled back down on the couch, wrapping himself up in Rachel Scott. He closed his eyes with one arm wrapped around her and the other across his chest, his hand tucked neatly under her. He was starting to drift back to sleep.
"Something important?" she was asking him, but his brain wasn't registering the words.
"Hmm?" he mumbled as he tightened the arm around her, pulling her back down onto him. He felt her making an attempt to sit up, but he held her in place. He was not ready for this moment to end. He was not ready to move on from this place. "Not yet," he whispered, and he felt her head against his chest. He breathed in and was awarded with her scent.
They stayed that way for a while longer. Tom had no concept of time in his semi lucid state. His breathing was even out, and he was drifting back into sleep. He had no idea how much time had passed before he was drawn from his slumber with lips on his jaw.
"Tom, we need to get up," she said softly. He didn't open his eyes. He was so at peace; he didn't want to end the dream. He wanted a few more minutes.
"Five more minutes, Darien," he whispered, and he wrapped his arms around her, shifting so he was on his shoulder and not his back. He was a little surprised when she pushed away from him and stood up abruptly. His arms fell away from her, and she was gone, the warmth and safe feeling going with it. Tom stretched before sitting up on the couch. He was confused when he saw Rachel moving towards his door, seemingly trying to escape. "Hey," he said.
"I should get to the lab," Rachel said coolly. The tone of her voice sent an icicle down his spine, and he sat up straighter on the couch. Something was wrong. Something had happened and he was clueless as to what it could be.
"Okay," he drew out the word, his face screwing up in confusion. Rachel looked back at him with a tight-lipped smile that was a dagger to his heart. She was mad or upset. What the fuck had he done? Had she not enjoyed that as much as he had? He thought over his actions and couldn't come up with anything that would cause a reaction like this.
He got up and walked towards her. He needed to fix this. He needed to know what he did so he could avoid it in the future. Guilt was starting to crowd in, and he felt like maybe if he hadn't confessed last night this wouldn't have happened. When he came up to her, he leaned in, wanting desperately to kiss her, but she stopped him with a hand on his chest. He froze.
"What did I do?" he asked, the confusion seeping into his voice. She looked down at her hand on his chest and he was worried he was already driving her away. Fear gripped him. He could see she was processing something in her own mind. Her eyes were flashing through a tirade of emotion. He knew he needed to say something. "I can see I did or said something that upset you. Last night was very nice and waking up this morning…both times…with you there on the couch with me was…I don't even know how to explain it."
"I know," she whispered. He thought they had come to an understanding last night. He thought that she knew where he stood and what he needed to do. But this morning, she was acting like he betrayed her.
"Is it what I said last night? It's okay that you didn't say anything back, it's okay if…"
"No," Rachel said quickly, her hand darting up to his jaw. He leaned into her palm and enjoyed the heat of her touch. He closed his eyes as he felt a surge of emotion.
"Then what? What did I do?" he asked as he opened his eyes again. She wouldn't look at him, not in the eyes, her gaze was settled on his shoulder. He could see something had cut her. He was so clueless, and he was starting to panic. She took a deep breath.
"It's silly. I'm sorry." He felt she was close to tears.
"Something obviously bothered you. Please, so I can not do it again."
"You called me…Darien," she said, her eyes drifting up to his. He saw the pain reflected back at him and embarrassment washed over him, then pain that he had hurt Rachel in that manner. He racked his brain trying to remember the moment he had let his dead wife's name slip. It had to be when she woke him up on the couch, but he didn't remember what he had said. He was still half asleep at that moment. "Look it's okay. I just…it took me by surprise is all. I should be going."
"I'm sorry, Rachel," he breathed out softly. He felt his eyes burning and blinked. He truly was sorry he had caused her distress.
"You were half asleep. It's really okay, it just…"
"It did bother you; I can see it in your reaction."
"It did, but not the way you think…I mean it did, but it didn't. Her memory is still very raw, and very close to the surface. It's going to happen ad I'm going to have to decide if I can deal with it."
"Oh, how I hope you can," Tom said as he leaned down capturing her lips with his own. He kissed her slow and sensuous. When they separated Tom leaned his forehead against hers. "You don't know how sorry I am that it slipped, but you're right. She was in my life a long time and I do love her still. I'll try harder to make sure it doesn't happen again."
"Really, it's okay, Tom," she said as she pulled back from him. He nodded, his hand still resting gently on her shoulder. He didn't want the contact to break. She turned to leave, but he wasn't ready, so he gripped her shoulder stopping her. She looked back at him, and he smiled.
"By the way that was Rios on the phone earlier," he said, his lips curling into a smirk. He watched as a sheepish grin spread across her features, and she shrugged.
"You didn't make me go back last night," Rachel replied, a teasing manner to her voice. Tom felt his insides flutter and heat up again. He laughed trying to cover his body language.
"No, I didn't. I told him when I found you, I'd send you back for a checkup."
"So, you ordering me to the infirmary?"
"Yes," he replied. "Stop in. I told him if he thought it was okay then you could be released."
"Well thank you for that."
"Have lunch with me," he whispered as he pulled her to him gently, wrapping her in a hug.
"Okay," Rachel replied, and his heart fluttered. "In the wardroom?"
"No, here," Tom replied, and he enjoyed her smile as she pulled away from him.
"Okay," she whispered. He leaned down and kissed her lips quickly as he walked around her to the door. He opened it and looked down the p-way in both directions and didn't see anyone. Rachel smiled at him as she walked past him and left his stateroom heading for her lab.
Tom closed the door and leaned back against it. He worked to steady his breathing as he thought about everything that had happened this morning. It had been an amazing night after they had talked and to have her on the couch with him all night. He hoped he hadn't ruined anything with that slip of his tongue. He was truly embarrassed that he had done it but also knew that it was purely instinct. Rachel was the first woman, other than Darien, to be in that intimate of a position for many years. His brain had just uttered what it had always uttered the last twenty years.
The guilt plowed through him again as he felt he had cheated on Darien again. Maybe that was why his brain had uttered her name. Maybe deep down he felt like he shouldn't be in that intimate of a position with another woman. Tom sighed. But she's gone. She's not coming back. He knew he had to let go of this and put it away if he had a chance with a long future with Rachel.
He glanced at the clock and swore. He stripped from his sweats and donned his uniform and left his stateroom for the bridge. Mike was going to give him hell for this one. He pushed everything from his mind and set his captain mask in place as he walked onto the bridge.
"Captain on the bridge!" he heard yelled, and everyone came to attention. He waved them off and walked over to Mike who was smirking sitting in his XO chair. Tom glared at him.
"I have the watch, XO," Tom said in a steady voice. Mike grinned again and nodded.
"Ay, ay, Captain," the other man. Mike waited a second. "You're late," he said with a smirk. Tom glared at him again. "Have you ever been late to anything in your career?"
"Mike," Tom said in a warning tone. The other man laughed, and Tom sighed.
"I didn't know you had it in you to break the rules, but I think…"
"Mike," he warned again cutting the other man off. Mike could tell Tom wasn't in the mood, so he stopped. Tom felt Mike scrutinizing him.
"I figured you'd be in a better mood. Something happen?"
Tom thought a moment, then motioned for Mike to follow him into the at sea cabin. Mike needed to brief him on the night watch anyway. Once they were safely before the door, Tom turned to his friend and blew out a breath.
"I think I fucked up," Tom said softly. Mike crossed his arms over his chest his face showing his confusion.
"What'd you do? I figured you'd be in a good mood the day Dr. Scott made you late to watch."
"It's not like that, Mike. I mean she did spend the night, but it was nice. She fell asleep in my arms. We talked…about a lot of things. I told her why I was acting like I was acting."
"So, what happened?"
"I called her Darien this morning," Tom admitted and rubbed his hands over his face.
"Okay, that's not the best thing to do. How'd she react?"
"She tried to leave before I knew what had happened, but I stopped her and confronted her until she told me. But I know it cut her deep for me to do that."
"How did it slip out?"
"I was half asleep, she was…all I wanted was five more minutes."
"Don't we all," Mike said softly. Tom looked up at him and Mike seemed to be lost in thought.
"How was she?"
"Mad, hurt, sad, confused? I don't know. She agreed to lunch so I'm not completely in the doghouse."
"It's going to be okay, Tom. She understands more than you think. Darien was a part of your life for the past twenty years. That's a lot of history."
"I know. And she knows. But it still…damn it."
"Don't be so hard on yourself. There's a lot to deal with here, on top of saving the world too. You're under a tremendous about of pressure."
Tom nodded slowly as his friend's words sunk in. He knew Mike was right. He sighed and rubbed his neck.
"Yeah," he mumbled. Mike clapped him on the shoulder and Tom looked up at him.
"Don't worry. It'll all work out," Mike said confidently. They then launched into Mike's report from the night watch. Tom half listening as he brain digested everything that had happened in the last twelve hours.
To Be Continued…
