Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, nor do I own this song.
Song: Everything Changes – by Chapter V – Staind
News: I just felt like writing this as a break before I went back to writing my 'Only You' story, it may not even be good but whatever, hope you like it. Also, the chorus becomes really repetitive so for some of them I didn't write anything, but I still left it in.
Important: This story switches between Rose's POV and The Doctor's. I'll put 'The Doctor' or 'Rose' when it first changes so you (hopefully) won't get confused. It changes between verses too.
Everything Changes
If you just walked away
what could I really say?
Would it matter anyway?
Would it change how you feel?
The Doctor paced his room as he thought. He and Rose had been fighting a lot lately, and he had been doing just as much pacing afterwards. He was surprised he hadn't worn a hole in the thick red carpet he was treading on. He wasn't even really sure why he and Rose kept fighting, it seemed to be about everything and nothing at the same time, often ending in the two yelling at each other, yet not knowing what they were arguing about.
As this continued, the Doctor began wondering, and worrying that Rose might just get fed up with it all and walk away from him, telling him to take her home to Earth. If she walked out that door, back to Jackie, to Mickey, to the pathetic human life she had lived before, he knew that even though it was boring, she would be stubborn enough to stay there, just to teach him the lesson he deserved to learn.
No matter how much he cared for her, or how much he begged her to stay, he was worried that she would leave him anyways, and if she made up her mind, he would be powerless to stop her.
I am the mess you chose
the closet you can not close
the devil in you I suppose
'cuz the wounds never heal
Rose sat on her bed, thinking. The Doctor and herself had just had yet another argument about who-knew-what, and she was worried that he would get sick of it and her. She knew that the Doctor could stop on Earth anytime, chuck her out, and disappear from her life like a snap of the fingers, but she didn't want it to end. She had chosen the life in the Tardis over her life back on Earth, and she took everything that came with it.
The Doctor wasn't perfect, she knew that, but she loved him just the way he was. She couldn't just leave him, she had grown accustomed to his humor, adventure-seeking nature, his smile, his laugh, him. If she were forced to leave, she would never be the same again, always thinking about him and wishing for it to have never ended.
He had taken her across the universe, getting her in more danger than she would ever expect of herself. She had been rebellious back home, but this was a whole new Rose he had brought out. Almost like the devil side of Rose, not evil, certainly not, but more adventurous, more daring, and she loved the new her.
But she had fallen for him; she cared for him with all of her heart. She knew she would never be happy with anyone but him. At the same time, she always had that nagging thought in the back of her head, 'He's a Time Lord, he would never care about a human, and he doesn't love you.' She would always try to silence this thought, but it would fight back every time, 'has he ever shown that he loves you?' By doing nothing, he had hurt her deeply, and he hadn't even meant to.
But everything changes
if I could turn back the years
if you could learn to forgive me
then I could learn to feel
The Doctor was amazed at how much had changed since Rose first came into his life. Everything: the Tardis, the adventures, the fun…the feelings. The Doctor shook his head, he shouldn't love Rose, he wasn't allowed. And he knew Rose didn't feel the same way. He was a 900-year-old alien! No human would ever fall for that.
He wished he could turn back time, to when he was younger, more 'desirable', or some such nonsense, but he knew it was hopeless. He would be content enough just to have Rose near him; it was easier to fight temptation than to live life without her entirely. Hopefully someday she would forgive him for his feelings and they could continue being friends through time.
If Rose left him, he would lose his ability to feel this odd, new emotion the humans called 'love'. She was the only one he had ever met that had made him feel this way and he didn't want to lose it now. Even though it would never be returned, it made his life so much more worth living.
Sometimes the things I say
in moments of disarray
Succumbing to the games we play
to make sure that it's real
Rose thought back to all the adventures she and the Doctor had shared through the time she had joined him. So many times she had really thought she would die, but she never felt scared, because the Doctor was always there to keep her safe until the very last minute. But he wasn't invincible, he had his own weaknesses, and she remembered some times when she had been…almost…happy that she was going to die with the Doctor next to her, holding her close.
He had always been loving to her when the end was near, holding her hand, hugging her, even kissing her to save her from the Time Vortex (A/N: Parting of the Ways). But she always assured herself, no matter how much it hurt to do so, that those were simply actions of someone who thought they were going to die.
How could she know if they were real? How could she know if it wasn't just the reaction from facing death? She couldn't know for sure, so she just assumed that this skilled alien being she loved was just acting out of instinct and never had, and never would feel anything like that for her.
But everything changes
if I could turn back the years
if you could learn to forgive me
then I could learn to feel
When it's just me and you
who knows what we could do
If we can just make it through
through this part of the day
The Doctor sighed, he relished the times it was just Rose and himself. He could practically feel time slow in the perfection of the moments. They had accomplished so much together, saved many lives, fought and defected many foes. He and Rose were made for each other, exactly opposite, completing what the other could not to make them unstoppable.
But so many times he had almost lost her to the monsters. So many times he was worried that they wouldn't make it through the day. In those moments he couldn't help himself but try to enjoy his forbidden love. He would hold her hand, hug her, kissing her to save her from the Time Vortex. All of that was unnecessary, yet he had done them all anyways, and he was worried that Rose would pull away, disgusted, but she never had. He assumed that in those moments of desperation, she had wanted someone to be close, and that it had nothing to do with hidden feelings.
But everything changes
if I could turn back the years
if you could learn to forgive me
then I could learn to feel
Then we could
stay here together
Rose walked slowly through the Tardis's many hallways, letting the time machine guide her as she continued thinking. She had gotten sick of just sitting in her room, alone and just waiting for the Doctor to barge in and tell her they would be back at Earth soon, so she had decided to take a walk through the unfamiliar, yet comforting halls.
Soon she turned up at a large metal door at the end of a hallway. Curious as to where the Tardis had led her, she pushed heavily on the door until it was open enough for her to slip through before entering the bare room. There was no furniture in the room, no lighting. Rose was really beginning to wonder why she had ended up here, where she saw the reason. A huge glass window filled a far wall, letting her look out on the universe as it passed her by.
She walked slowly towards the glass, in awe at what she was seeing. When she reached the window, she leaned against it, trying to see as much as she was capable of. She could see a galaxy far off in the distance and millions of stars surrounding her in the Tardis like a starry blanket. Continuing to watch, she didn't hear the door opening further before being closed again, or the footsteps echoing through the room.
And we could
conquer the world
The Doctor let the Tardis lead him through the familiar hallways until he reached a slightly ajar metal door. Wondering what room this was and why the door was open, the Doctor shoved the door further open and closed it behind him before walking further into the room. He realized it was one of his old favourites, but one he had not visited in at least 50 human years.
He stopped suddenly as he saw the figure of Rose looking out of the giant window. Slowly, cautiously, he started walking towards her, but she didn't react. When he was standing right behind her, he was at war with himself, 'should I tell her?' he thought to himself as he watched his breathtaking Rose watch a comet fly by the window.
If we could
say that forever
Rose gasped in joy as she saw the comet fly by the window, this moment would never be topped, ever. Suddenly, she felt rough hands land lightly on her shoulders and spin her around, her back now facing the comets outside, but those no longer concerned her. Here was her Doctor, with mixed emotions swimming in his eyes.
Immediately, fear took Rose. What if he was mad for her coming in here? Was this forbidden? Had she crossed the line? Would he dump her on Earth and leave her there, alone for the rest of her life? Unable to face him, she turned her head to the side, not even noticing the tears silently falling down her cheeks. But the Doctor obviously noticed the tears, for he cupped her face lovingly, wiping the tears away with his thumbs.
"Rose, I…there's something I need to tell you," he said quietly. Rose couldn't bear to look at him. This was it, she knew it. He was going to say he was going to drop her off at Earth and to get her stuff, breaking her heart. "I've been thinking about this for a while, and…well…I…I love you Rose."
It's more than just a word
The Doctor held his breath; he wasn't sure why she was crying. Did she know he would say this and didn't want to be told it? Was she worried of shattering his feelings before asking to be taken home? Oh well, he had said it, and now he was waiting with baited breath for the request for a return trip to Earth.
He watched Rose's eyes in shock as she looked up at him and then asked in a choked voice, "you serious?" He wasn't sure what to think, she wasn't acting repulsed or upset.
He nodded his head; "I've never been more serious in my life." When she smiled at him and whispered the words he never would have thought would come from her lips, "I love you too Doctor," he leaned down and captured her lips with his in a breathless kiss, full of promise, hope, and love.
If you just walked away
what could I really say?
It wouldn't matter anyway.
It wouldn't change how you feel.
A/N1: I hope that wasn't too confusing for people with the POV changes.
A/N2: I quite liked this, when I was listening to this song I was just thinking, 'this would fit so well with a songfic'. I hope you think so too.
A/N3: If there are any spelling issues, please let me know.
A/N4: Please review, I love getting "Review" in my inbox, it makes the day go by lol. :-P
