Throbbing Hearts and Rushing Blood

Tyson's heart was in pieces. Broken and bleeding out of him. He wondered if anyone could see it when they looked at him. If Kai could see it. If that was why he stopped to talk to him. The wound in his chest.

He saw Kai move, put one of his hands into one of his pockets as Tyson went a little too long without answering him. Clad in a full three-piece suit and looking exquisite. Handsome. Handsome and wanting him to go home with him.

He had had strictly physical relationships with men before and none of them had ended messily. Except one. But that was long, long ago, when Tyson had been inexperienced and naïve. He knew how to keep his heart locked away from strangers now. No matter how intense it got sometimes.

He had been with men with perfect bodies, men with golden hearts, and dazzling smiles. And never once - not after the first time - gotten confused or attached. Some of these men he'd had long conversations and occasional dinners with. Never screwed it up. He kept the fantasies in his head in his head. He'd learned his lesson well.

Two nights in a row with Kai wouldn't put them at risk of anything. Yet he still felt apprehensive accepting that invitation. The heat in Kai's eyes. The intimacy they promised to give him. A promise to make the wound in his chest stop hurting for a little while. To make him forget.

He craved it. The way a parched tongue would crave for water.


Kai's hand ghosted across his lower back. Tyson stiffened, against the cold, against the touch, not having expected it so soon, before they even got inside the car.

The vehicle idled before them. Its body long and stylish. A driver in the front seat staring straight ahead. Kai reached around Tyson for the handle, beating him to it, his chest brushing his back. "Oh" Tyson relaxed with a soft exhale as Kai opened the door for him. "Thank you"

He climbed into the back seat and moved over a few paces to make room for Kai.

He expected the drive to be long and silent. It was unlikely Kai would start anything when a third person was with them in the same closed space.

He checked his texts, looked out the window at the passing buildings and bridges and cars. He tried to ignore the pressing thought at the back of his mind. The one that kept knocking at his ribs. At his lungs. Threatening to shred them apart. Shred him apart.

The weight on his chest returned in the dark silence and Tyson scraped his nail against his wrist. Digging in. Picking at the skin.

Streetlights whizzed past. The little pockets of light on the buildings. So many floors. So many people. So much joy and love and pain, contained in such small spaces. How much could a heart take? How much could fit inside a person till they burst?

His thumb stilled against his wrist when he felt a finger graze down his cheek. He'd forgotten that there was another soul sitting beside him.

All his unknown joys and sorrows and love wrapped up in a small space.

Tyson turned his face away from the window to look at Kai. Felt his touch at his chin. Gentle and fleeting. The shadows inside the car shielding their stark truths from one another.

Could his eyes see?

Could he see him?

Could his joy and love and pain recognize the joy and love and pain inside Tyson?

And could they if they tried, make their spaces a little bigger? So they didn't have to hold all of it by themselves.

He gave him a smile despite the thing in his chest because he knew where the line was between his head and his heart. Between hopes and reality.

Kai took his touch away. Pressed a button that caused a partition to roll up between them and the driver.

Tyson's lips parted in a soundless gasp as the light from the windshield disappeared and his touch returned to his neck. A thumb caressing him beneath his ear. A mouth covering his.

The taste of him was thick in his lungs. His cologne in his nostrils. He'd been drinking champagne, a hint of watermelon in his breath. He smelled of the woods. Of earth. Of solid sturdy stuff.

Unlike Tyson.

Where Tyson was a tide of feelings and wants and urges. Rushing to land. Seeking a shore. Kai was already where he wanted to be. Certain. Accomplished.

Tyson raised his hands to cradle either side of his jaw, feel the muscles move against his thumbs as he kissed him with that same surety. His chin brushing against his. His tongue sweeping across the roof of his mouth and tasting parts of his soul. What he liked to eat. What he liked to drink. Discovered things about him and kept them stored away somewhere inside of himself. May be one day he'd revisit those things. May be he'd look at them tomorrow. May be he'd erase them. Make space for someone else.

Someone who fit better. Someone whose things he liked better.

Tyson inhaled through his nose, pulled away from the kiss, let his mouth drop to his neck and sighed when he sucked in the spot that made his thoughts blur.

His hands fell to his shoulders, and Kai's hand explored down his body, over his shirt, feeling the lines of him through the fabric. He angled his head back to give him more access, mouth open, eyes half-closing.

Men. Men like him, men like Kai, who took time out of their busy lives to do this. Salvage a few moments of escape. Of thoughtlessness. Of shuddering breaths and grasping hands. Of meeting in the dark. Leaving prints on each other and washing it away like stains in the morning, things you were ashamed to show the rest of the world, pretending and forgetting, only to do it all again next week.

Kai left wet kisses along the column of his throat, hot and then cold, Tyson dug his fingers into his shoulder, the material of his jacket thick enough to prevent him from actually hurting Kai.

He put a hand between his legs, cupping him there. His knees locked reflexively. Kai kissed his mouth, his upper lip, his bottom lip, over and over till his thighs fell open and his hips started moving against his palm. Grinding into the heat of it above his jeans, wantonly, gasping hotly against Kai's mouth, till he took it away and replaced his lips on his neck.

Sucking and biting. Leaving marks. "Not too hard, I don't want them to show," he managed to say, fighting past the haze enveloping his mind, tugging lightly on Kai's hair.

His hand briefly slid up his shirt, feeling his stomach, his abs, fingers catching in the slight dents. Tyson gasped. Kai sucked a little hard, grinding the heel of his hand back down between his legs.

"Nnngh!" he pushed at Kai's shoulder in warning, though his eyes were pinching shut and his brow was creasing, and his breath was stuttering.

Kai let go of the skin he had drawn between his teeth and buried his face there instead. Breathing him in. Nuzzling him.

Sighing, Tyson moaned and writhed on the seat, his head resting back against the cushion and Kai's rasping words in his ear.

"Come" He raised his head to look at him. Warm breath washed over Tyson's face. His nose. Champagne. Watermelon. Kai's hair was slightly mussed, ruined by Tyson's hands, his eyes full of unrestrained lust, gleaming as they took in his features. Liked what he saw. Tyson didn't know if he'd be able to have an orgasm for a second time that night. He moaned helplessly. Kai's hand cupped him with just the right amount of pressure, his eyes watching him, cunning and calculating. As he figured out the threads that held him together and plucked at them, unravelling him. "Come for me," he whispered against his mouth.

Tyson let go. Crashing into it. Both hands open and holding onto nothing as he fell. Kai kissed him as he moaned high, drinking in his cries like he was starving for it.

Tyson trembled as he came down from it. Kai unbuttoned his jeans, pulling the zipper down. He watched confused for a second before he dipped a hand into the front of his soaked underwear.

His breath caught in his lungs.

"You're a mess," Kai murmured softly, looking at him and shaking his head.

Tyson exhaled a sigh that was more of a whine. A tremor in his jaw, his lips, as he kept his own hands planted on either side of him on the seat, and tried to hide the fact that he was shaking from Kai.

He watched him take his fingers out, sticky and wet now. And brought them to his mouth. To Tyson's mouth. He locked his teeth. Pressing his lips together. Gulping.

There was a challenge in Kai's eyes.

Tyson's gaze dropped to his fingers. His mind was numb. Kai raised his hand, tapped a finger against his bottom lip. He felt the wetness there. Warm and cooling quickly. He let him do it. Drew his bottom lip in, then let him put his fingers coated with his own come into his mouth and sucked on it. For him. It tasted bitter. Fucking salty. He knew what to expect but he had to smother the disgust that came with knowing it was his own. Nothing unlike what he'd tasted before. Nothing he could linger on for too long as Kai kissed him. Touched his tongue to his own and stole it from him.

Tyson felt himself go stupid. His brain melting to mush as his heart knocked against his ribs. He trembled harder then.

"Come on" said Kai, his voice a notch lower than normal, moving away from him. They'd reached his place.


Tyson unwound Kai's jacket from around his hips and dropped it on the couch as he walked towards the laundry room. Kai was closing the front door, locking it and switching his phone off.

The apartment was as pristine and classy as ever. Tyson liked the way the walls smelled for some reason. He usually liked homely homes. Not cold soulless interior designs. But the smell of it, the feel of it, was vaguely familiar.

He stepped out of his pants just as Kai entered the room and held out his hand for it. He gave him the jeans after a brief moment of hesitation and watched him put it in the washer drum. Kai turned around to look at Tyson after. The space wasn't too big, just enough for a machine and a counter and the two of them. Tyson was near the door. Kai in the middle of the room. Yet they were standing pretty close. Barely three feet apart.

"What?" he asked, his arms crossed defensively across his chest.

Kai's gaze dropped pointedly below his hips and then back up to his eyes.

Tyson stiffened. His shirt was long enough to not make it obscene but it was still pretty obvious he was standing in his underwear. "I don't-"

"You don't what?"

Do my laundry in other people's homes. Especially not delicates.

He was uncomfortable however. Feeling sticky and dirty. "I don't want to-" he broke off, unfolding his arms and shifting awkwardly.

He looked at his feet, still in his socks. He'd kicked off his boots at the door. There were stars on them. The galaxy on a sock. It was his favourite pair. He sensed Kai move, step up to him and cross into his space.

Reaching out and touching his hips, a light graze of his palms over the shirt. Tyson lifted his eyes to meet Kai's. Heat. Want. And beneath them, a bit of understanding. A bit of kindness. His hands skimmed his hips, under his shirt. Thumbs swiping over his pelvic bones briefly before sliding into the waistband of his underwear and easing it down.

His breath on his lips. His gaze on his heated face.

Tyson ducked his chin as the fabric slipped down his legs and cool air hit him in places where it didn't often reach.

Goosebumps burst over his thighs.

Kai's hand returned to the side of his hip once more, for what he didn't know, before he took it away. Bent down to retrieve the clothing off the floor as Tyson stepped out of it and stood back up again with a soft sigh, adding it in the drum as well and turning the machine on.

Tyson leant his head back against the wood of the jamb and stared at the ceiling. What the fuck was he doing? He hadn't planned on going home with anybody that night. Certainly not with Kai. His chest may have stopped hurting, but the wound had left him vulnerable. Prone to soft touches.

He drew in a deep breath and steeled his nerves, balling up his fists behind his back. Kai came back. Slid his hands over his bare hips, all the way to his butt and grabbed rough fistfuls of it, his mouth coming down on his. Tyson gasped as his tongue slipped in, kissing him hotly.

Fire seared down his spine.

He wrapped his arms around Kai's neck then, let the pleasure blot out everything else.


He moaned high, clenching, clenching as Kai slipped out of him, the granite counter cold and hard and slightly slick with sweat against his chest and arms. He bit his lip, curling his fingers into his palms as the aftershocks passed over him. Kai braced his arms on either side of Tyson's hips on the counter with a sigh, breathing hard. His skin grazing his in places.

"Oh" Tyson exhaled, blood pressure slowly returning to normal. He lay there for a minute, trying to find his bearings.

He straightened when Kai moved away. Stepped to the side. They had jelly legs. Tyson laughed out when he saw the slight tremor in Kai's knees.

A grin made its way across Kai's handsome face at that.

Laughing and walking on unsteady legs, Tyson found kitchen towels - the disposable kind, mind you - and wiped the cum on his torso. His chest. His stomach. His back. What the fuck possessed them?

He calmed down a few seconds later, reaching for a cool spot near his spine. He was struggling to properly wipe it off. Kai, who had been silently observing him till then, stepped closer offering to help.

He turned to face forward and pulled in a breath as Kai took the towel from him and gently wiped along his spine. The apartment was dead quiet around them. The washing machine had stopped a long time ago. He wondered what the time was.

The cloth disappeared from his back and Tyson stiffened when he felt a soft prodding between his legs. At the wetness Kai had left there. He'd fucked him with a condom, but there had been no extra layers before that, when it was just their hands and their cocks. And their mouths.

Tyson closed his eyes as Kai cleaned him up. Reminded himself this was completely normal. To draw the line between dreams and reality. Tyson moved away when he felt clean enough. "Thank you" he whispered, taking the wadded up towel from Kai's fingers and throwing it in the bin.

He dressed himself quickly and Kai was still in his boxers when he left with a warm smile and a breezy goodnight.

He may not have planned on it, but he was going to get a full eight hours of sleep that night.


A/N: The next update is IGYB. :D