Title: Remember me
Rating: Teen
Summary: Those were his last words… And she's never let go since. Sara&Greg
Disclaimer: CSI isn't mine, for my stories the characters are simple puppets.
Notes: I thought considering my first Tragedy was a Song fic- I'd do a tragic story. Warning of a character death (I couldn't resist here)
The photo album never left her side; she wouldn't let it be taken from her, just in the fear of the photographs taking the memories from her. So she was desperately clinging on to those moments encaptured on film, while the real memories faded away.
She was grieving, no one could deny her that, and after all she had loved him… Just to loose him, like so many others. This time she had thought it was going to last, it was going so well and they were both happy. But she learnt that she could never be happy, fate wouldn't let her be.
"Sara, you have nothing edible in here!" Greg yelled from the kitchen, his head still poking around the crevices of the refrigerator in a vain attempt to find something he could eat.
"There is plenty in there," Sara said bemused, coming up behind Greg and smiling. He had persistently complained about the food she ate- after all Greg was not a vegetarian. But it was now even more prominent a problem, considering he now lived there.
It was true it had taken Sara a lot of convincing to warm to the idea; she didn't want to take the risk of Greg moving in and then the relationship to crumble. But you couldn't say 'no' to Greg, he had this way of getting his way when it came down to it. It was only two weeks ago that Sara had accepted that he could move in, and it only took him that long to sell his apartment (because Sara's was the larger of the two) and move in. Today was the first day of their new life together… And Sara was looking forward to it (no matter how much she had denied it earlier).
"I mean that isn't good for me." Greg said, turning to face his girlfriend- a lopsided grin on his face.
"In that case no." Greg frowned.
"You have me living here now; I need to get you some Greg-assured supplies." He dropped a delicate kiss into her wavy brown locks and smiled. "I'll be back in about half an hour." She frowned; obviously not keen of Greg shopping now when there was so much to be sorted through. "Promise." He added hastily and Sara smiled slightly before he slipped out of the door.
But Greg didn't keep that promise, he never returned to spend his first night in their bed, in their apartment.
She clutched the album tightly, as if it was giving her all the warmth and comfort she would ever need, but it couldn't fill that void. She sobbed quietly, as she always did when she thought of that night. It was meant to be a trip to the supermarket, only three blocks away… But somehow it went wrong.
Sara opened the album; it was her album Greg had made for the records of their relationship. As he always said: 'best to keep a record of the good times before they are all gone.' He'd never know how right he was, and how grateful Sara was that he had done it- even after she had dismissed the idea as a load of sentimental garbage- she never knew how much it'd mean later on.
The first page was of the first date they had. The smiling couple and she could remember it well- as if it was only yesterday. She'd had a rough case, and Greg had invited her out for coffee and unlike normal evenings she didn't refuse. Now she was glad, but she regretted that she had not said yes earlier- then they would have had more time together.
"Come on Sara, how can you be miserable here? There is wonderful coffee, nice pancakes and you have my company… You can't get much better!" Sara looked up from watching the swirling torrent of her coffee; she preferred looking there at that particular moment in time. "Please Sara, you finally said yes and I'm beginning to wonder what I've let myself in for."
"Greg, don't even start." She threatened only to be met with a lopsided grin. "I'm warning you!" He bit the inside of his cheeks to stop himself from laughing. "Greg…" She said again, grinning slightly.
"You are so much prettier when you smile." Greg pointed out and Sara blushed.
"Thanks." She mumbled, again finding the coffee a wonderful place to look.
"Come on," Greg said, standing up and leaving a few bills on the counter-top. Sara looked at him, "Don't ask questions, you'll find out when we get there."
It turned out he was taking her to a secluded park- one that she had never noticed existed before now. That was hardly surprising however, because she was always so absorbed in her own work-related world. Greg had taken her to a bench, and they had just sat there, watching the world pass by. Never before had Sara found herself watching as the world bustled by, and she just relaxed. It seemed so odd. She didn't even realise some student wondering around, shooting photos, she didn't notice him take a snapshot of her and Greg. And she'd never know how Greg managed to get that photograph- but there it was- the beginning.
The next double page spread was Greg's favourite. The pages he had spent the most time on composing and you could see why. A stray tear hit the page, and Sara brushed it away hastily- it couldn't ruin the photographs, they were all she had left.
The pages were filled by photo strips, ones that Greg had to drag Sara into while she protested furiously that they were a waste of time and money. But somehow Greg had won that fight, managing to grab Sara and pull her in. At first the photos started seriously, two smiling CSI's, then developed tongues, weird faces and then a laughing Sara as Greg did something you couldn't see. He carefully layered each strip over the pages, and then in the centre was a picture of Sara asleep.
That made her cry even more, and before she knew it she was crying freely, her face was tear stained, the page dotted with the tears that had escaped down her cheeks and now burdened it. She wasn't an emotional woman, but since Greg left- she'd been an emotional train wreck. If she wasn't careful, she would end up derailing herself.
She flipped the pages, stopping every now and again to stroke the pictures of Greg, just for the comfort- trying to remember what it really felt like to touch the side of his face. But she couldn't remember… All she could remember was the velvety smoothness she felt as she touched the pictures. Greg had vanished, leaving all the reminders of his existence in her apartment. She hadn't brought herself to remove his hair products (which outnumbered hers 3 to 1) from the bathroom, she hadn't touched any of his clothes or any of his belongings… That was something she couldn't do.
Somewhere inside she knew that she had to move on, but she didn't want to. It was too soon to bury Greg's memory away. He deserved to live on, he deserved much more than he ever got.
"Greg… Greg… Greg! Stop it, I said not at work!" Sara said, tense to his touch. Greg sighed, backing away.
"We aren't at work," Greg reminded her, but Sara just raised her eyebrow in the 'don't even question me Sanders' look- a special look she reserved especially for him. "Fine then; I'll get us a drink." He sloped off, slightly dismayed, as reflected in his posture- but he'd get over it one day.
The air was warm and humid, typical for a Las Vegas summer's day. They were all in Catherine's back garden, for a department BBQ. Everyone from work haunted the place, even a few technicians Sara had never noticed. But Greg knew them all, and they all knew him- he had to be one of the most renowned figures in the Crime Lab.
Grissom was having a vivid conversation with some technician she didn't know and that was a shock. Tina and Warrick were on the loveseat, looking at each other with gooey expressions. Catherine was talking to Nick while Lindsey stood there with attitude just flowing freely from her. Then there was her and Greg, no one had noticed as of yet to the closeness between the pair; and she was relived. Sara had promised Greg that if anyone asked they would come clean, after all it was proven that it didn't affect their work- it had been happening for the last two months without a soul noticing.
Greg was having a civil conversation with Hodges, with two cups in his hand. She swore that he turned her way and threw her glances in desperation- but out of choice she decided to ignore them, after all this was Hodges that Greg was talking to. She'd rather not be roped in on that exploit.
"Hodges could talk anyone to death." Greg said returning to Sara and handed her the drink, her lips curved into a small smile before taking a sip.
From over the other side of the garden, Nick and Catherine were watching the pair. Catherine had that all knowing smile fixated on her face as Nick cocked his head to the side, watching the pair in fascination.
"You don't think?" Nick said, and Catherine nodded.
"Yes Nick, I think."
Lindsey disappeared inside, and reappeared in no time carrying her digital camera, just in time to catch a shot of Greg and Sara kissing.
That barbeque was the time when all of their workmates finally discovered that they were dating. No one seemed to care though, they just wished them all the best- and that was that, no fuss and it wasn't quite as Sara had envisioned it. But nothing with Greg was quite how she had envisioned it.
The final page with photographs on was the last day her and Greg had spent together- the moving in. The beginning of a new era- just in a way neither of them expected. She'd taken the photo of Greg as he slouched against the pile of boxes inhabiting Sara's hallway. They had both been so happy; they were both looking forward to what was going to happen from then on. But it never came.
Sara began to wonder where Greg had disappeared to; she was sure he knew his way to the store from there. It wouldn't take him over an hour to get to the store and buy himself a few supplies. He had promised to be back in half an hour. Sara was beginning to worry about it (although she'd never admit to that). She sat on the chair waiting patiently, the phone beside her because any minute now Greg would phone her to get her to stop worrying.
The phone range and Sara sighed, expecting that call for the past twenty minutes.
"Where are you?" Sara asked, and there wasn't the voice she had expected.
"Sara, it's Nick." He sounded slightly choked up and she wondered why he'd be calling her on her night off.
"Hey Nicky, what's up?"
"I'm sorry Sara…" She heard his voice crack and strangled sobs escape. She started to panic, wondering what was wrong. "It's Greg… He's been…"
He didn't finish, he couldn't finish because Sara started to cry, and she literally shattered to pieces in light of the news.
"Where is he Nick?" Sara yelled, trying to stop the hysteria that was setting in. "Tell me please!"
"Desert Palms, Sara, hurry. It doesn't look like he'll last much longer."
She couldn't remember much of the ride over, she couldn't remember how she had managed to find herself outside of Greg's room, with Nick holding her close.
"Shhhh Sara," Nick said, holding her close to his chest as she cried, soaking his shirt. She stroked her hair carefully. "It'll be ok." But he was lying, he wasn't sure that it'd be fine, he wasn't sure of anything- except that the CSI's would catch the guy who did this to Greg.
It was a robbery gone wrong; the police were there before he could make a mad dash for freedom. So instead he took a hostage- Greg, it was unfortunate timing. He tried to escape but ended up shooting Greg.
"Can I-I-I see him?" Sara stammered, trying to stop herself from crying.
"Miss Sidle?" The Doctor had emerged from Greg's room, obviously noticing that there was a new member to the group of CSI's. He could tell that this one had to be Sara, the one that everyone had been contemplating on calling- the emergency contact for Greg. "May I have a word?"
She nodded and followed the Asian doctor down the corridor.
"Miss Sidle," He began only to be cut off by an over-anxious Sara.
"Call me Sara. Is Greg going to be OK?"
"Sara, Mr. Sanders is in a critical condition, he's stable- but the bullet has severed his Pulmonary Artery, and unless we operate there is a high risk of Mr. Sanders not surviving the night. We need your permission to operate."
So Greg's life was left in her hands.
"If you do it, what is the risk of him dying?" She asked, her brown eyes simmering in the light, reflecting the unshed tears.
"I won't lie to you Sara; it is a high risk operation. The chances are 50/50 but unless Mr. Sanders has this operation, it is an 80/20 chance he'll die."
Those words had hit hard, and left her with a major decision on her hands. Either way, the odds were against him- she just had to decide whether to risk it. Sara had closed the album and had placed it as far away from her as she possibly could. The book seemed hot, as if burning right through her, through her soul.
"Greg, why did you have to leave me?" She uttered quietly, looking up into the ceiling, as if looking for an answer. But there was no answer, no sound in her apartment. Just the empty crevices to haunt her; remind her of what she had done.
She didn't leave his bed side when he returned from the operation. She couldn't leave, in fear that when she returned he'd be gone- and there would be no chance to say goodbye. And Sara (although not good with her farewells) wanted to say goodbye to the most important person in her life. Not like she was going to say goodbye- she hoped.
He was connected to a drip, and numerous machines. The nurses had said they had him in a drug-induced coma; just so his body could recover more before Greg stirred. But the Doctor had warned that they were by no means out of the woods yet, they still had to see how it coped when Greg was awake.
That was to be the longest, and most tiring days Sara would ever have spent. She didn't know what to do with herself; she didn't stop to think about what could happen. Not once. Sara stared at the ceiling almost convinced that if she focused enough, she'd be told why. Sometime Sara would just stare for hours at things of Greg's, hoping that they would suddenly spring to life in front of her.
But it just didn't happen.
It was four days later when they decided to take him off the knock-out drugs and Sara was anxious beyond belief. She was praying that Greg would be fine, that he'd wake up and laugh that she was so worried. And she swore if he did, she'd never let go of him again.
"Sara…"
At first she thought she had been dreaming, hearing things from her exhaustion. But then she looked over to the bed, and surely enough he was there, eyes open, his face screwed up in pain.
"Greg!" She yelped, jumping to her feet. "What's wrong?" She asked immediately, noticing his face twisted in contours of pain.
"It hurts…" His voice was weak, his gave unfocused, yet there was an emotion there- he was scared- his eyes gave it away.
"I'll get a doctor." Sara pressed the emergency button beside the bed- she had memorised where it was for moments like this. "Don't worry Greg, everything will be fine." She said, more to reassure herself than Greg.
"Promise me, you will remember me."
"Don't talk like that Greg," She could feel the tears, she just couldn't hold it in- no matter how strong she wanted to be, she just couldn't carry the weight of this alone. She just cracked. "You'll be ok."
"I love you Sara, just remember me…" His voice trailed off, and his face eased. The machine behind her, cried out as Greg flat-lined.
"Please Greg, don't do this too me!" She shouted, sobbing in hysteria. "You can't leave me!"
That was the last time she saw Greg alive, she couldn't remember much after that. It was a blur of shouting and tears, she could remember Grissom bringing her home, but she didn't care. She didn't want the sympathy, she didn't want the friends, she just wanted Greg. Was that too much to ask?
Sara wiped her eyes, as they started to let the emotions escape once more. She pulled the album back into her lap, and hugged it as if it were her most prized possession.
"I remember you Greg, I always will."
A/N: Review please! And I know it seemed very disjointed at the end, I wasn't quite sure how to do it.
