Author's note: So super long chapter followed by super short chapter lol. Oh well. I'm still moving so expect a couple quick updates. Once I catch this up I'll start working on Rachel's point of view! Happy reading. Dark rolling sea.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

When Tom woke the next morning, he was the only one in the bed. He reached over to Rachel's spot and felt the sheets were cool. He frowned. She had left a while ago. He glanced at the clock and saw it was still early, the sun had barely risen. He sucked in a deep breath and lay there for a bit longer, the emotions and memories of last night swirling in his head.

He had never felt the level of confusion he was feeling being in this house, in this room, with her. He felt like Darien's ghost was sitting next to him judging him and he felt guilty again. Getting past that feeling was proving more difficult than he anticipated. He rolled on his side and felt the burn of tears, but nothing fell as he felt he had cried them all out.

He thought about Ashley and her reaction to his news. He wondered if she would ever be able to accept Rachel into her life. Tom knew over the next few days he would have to talk to her a lot, help her process her emotions about the new relationship, but also help her process her grief for her mother. Hopefully they could give each other the strength to heal from the deep seeded wounds.

He pushed himself out of bed and quickly dressed in jeans and an old t-shirt. Looking for Rachel he felt a pang of worry as she wasn't in the house. He figured everyone else was still asleep as no one was around. He didn't think Rachel would leave without word to him, but last night had been a little awkward.

Oh, how he had wanted to continue what he had started with her. He had been thinking about it while they were on the ship but hadn't had the courage to act on those thoughts. Last night he was swept up in the moment and had let his instincts carry him. He never expected the slam of emotion and the guilt of it hitting him so hard right in the middle of it.

He pushed it all from his mind and continued his search for Rachel. He decided to check the front porch and after he opened the front door was rewarded for his efforts. He found Rachel and his dad sitting on the front steps, Rachel wrapped in a blanket from the couch.

"There you two are," Tom expressed. He watched Rachel look at his dad with a smile.

"Busted," he heard his dad whisper before the old man laughed. Rachel smiled at Jed again then looked over her shoulder at him. Her smile warmed his heart. How he loved when she smiled at him like that. He was still nervous about how last night had gone down. Unsure of how Rachel had really perceived him. He was scared of the fact she had gotten up early and not been there in the morning. Was she running away from him? Rachel's gaze returned to his yard as his father rose to his feet, reaching over to squeeze her shoulder. Tom watched his father bend down, his mouth next to Rachel's ear. "I'm always around if you need to talk."

Tom wondered what they had been talking about. He felt his spirit lift a little with the knowledge that Rachel felt comfortable enough to talk to his father. He also felt a little relief that his father seemed to like Rachel. After he spoke, his father walked back towards the house, laying a gentle hand on Tom's shoulder as he passed.

Tom watched his dad go into the house then he looked back at Rachel and took in the sight. She was huddling deep into the blanket, holding it tightly around herself. He saw her sigh and felt his heart sink a little. He finally broke the hold on him and slowly made his way to her side, sliding down to sit next to her, where his father had been.

"Are we okay?" he asked tentively. He hated the way his voice sounded unsure. He watched as tears built in her eyes and he felt his chest tighten with anxiety. Oh, how he hoped he didn't mess this up.

"We will be," she said. Tom reached his arm over her and wrapped it around her shoulders, squeezing her arm gently. He felt Rachel lean into his embrace, her cheek coming to rest against his shoulder. He leaned his head down against the top of hers. Last night spilled through his brain again and he fought the urge to cringe.

"I'm sorry about last night. I…wanted…I don't know, but I'm sorry."

That statement wasn't entirely true. He did know what he wanted; it was just a matter of getting in the right head space to be able to do what he wanted. Fixing that broken part of him that was so confused.

"It's okay. We knew this was going to be hard, we talked about it."

"But I feel foolish," Tom whispered. "I feel…broken."

There it was again. He hated that feeling of brokenness inside himself. He was not used to being the weak, indecisive, conflicted person. He was used to being the rock, making the decisions, being in command of a situation.

"I told you before, you are not broken," she whispered back to him. He nodded slowly against her head, but he didn't believe what she had said. He knew he was broken, but he also knew he would work hard to fix the problem. Tom didn't want to move. He wanted to stay in this moment for ever, drawing strength from her, enjoying the comfort of the physical contact.

To Be Continued…