Sympathy For the Devil
By Miss Angel Maxwell
fifteenth chapter
PEOPLE LOOK LIKE THEY ARE DANCING BEFORE THEY LOVE
"Tobiume… ume… ume…!" Momo's voice echoed through the empty world of purple as she called out in desperation. "Tobiume! Tobiume, please come back to me!" She continued to cry out the name her zanpakutou, even as her brain replayed the images of a beautiful tiger impaled by Shinsou and of a shattered blade in pieces on the ground. Her throat was raw and sore by the time she stopped hollering and sank to the dark ground, panting. In her heart, Momo knew that Tobiume was dead.
The only sound was the whimpering breath that left the young woman's throat as her chest trembled on the brink of sobs. No, there was something else there, too. Just beneath the sounds from her own body, Momo could hear a different noise. She carefully calmed her breathing enough so that she could hear it. The sound seemed to come from all around but from far away. It was the sound of babies, two of them, crying out in pain. Intuitively, Momo knew that they were hers and frantically began searching for the source.
My babies! They're in pain! Where are they? She dashed around the endless dreamscape where she used to meet Tobiume in a panic, running as fast as she could until her leg muscles burned. No matter where she went, however, the crying sounded just as distant. When she couldn't possible make her body run anymore, she fell to her knees and joined her unseen children in crying. As she sobbed ceaselessly, her hands started to grow warm, not the searing heat of Tobiume, but something comforting and gentle. Closing her eyes and taking a deep cleansing breath, Momo let the feeling take over her entire body. When she opened her eyes again, she was lying in a bed with two familiar faces watching her from above.
"Shiro? Izuru?" she breathed softly.
"Hey," the blonde replied, smiling gently. "You're finally awake."
She was back in that clinic where she first saw Taka and Suzume, dressed in fresh pajamas and tucked under clean bed linens. There was an IV line taped to the back of her left hand, which was being held by Izuru. Toushirou held her right. That explained the warmth she'd felt in her palms. And yet, Momo's relief at being alive and at being looked after by two of her dearest friends, paled in comparison to an excruciating, overwhelming emptiness inside of her.
"Tobiume is dead…" she whispered sadly. Her voice took on a devastated quiver. "They're gone, aren't they? My babies are gone…" She looked up at her two friends, who both looked away sadly. Neither had the heart to confirm what she already knew was true, and there was a long moment of silence as unconscious tears glided down her cheeks.
"Mr. Kurosaki and Miss Inoue did everything they could," Toushirou whispered. "But there was no way to save the babies. It's a miracle that they were able to save you."
Closing her wet eyes again, Momo drew in a shaky breath through her nose.
"I'm sorry," the white haired boy sighed. "I probably shouldn't have said it like that. Nothing could seem like a miracle to a mother who has just lost her children." Both of his hands clasped tightly around hers, and as he closed his eyes seriously, it struck Momo just how grown up he looked.
"The doctor will be back in a few minutes," Izuru said. "He just stepped out to get some coffee. Is there anything we can do for you?" For some reason, he was avoiding looking the young patient in the eyes, as if he were ashamed.
"I can't think of anything," she breathed in response.
As if on cue, Mr. Kurosaki came through the clinic door, a mug of coffee clutched in his hand and a somber expression on his face. He sighed in relief and almost smiled when he saw that his patient was awake. "You're up and talking," he said. "That's a good sign, Miss Hinamori. I was worried that blow to the head might have caused swelling in your brain, and that you might not wake up. But you seem to have come through all right. Are you still in a lot of pain?"
"It's not that bad… I'll live," she said. Mr. Kurosaki didn't know that she knew she'd lost the babies and his cautious tone reflected it. She couldn't bring herself to mention it herself, so she decided she'd just answer the doctor's questions until he brought it up.
"There was blood on your clothes," he continued. "So Miss Inoue redressed you in some of my daughter Yuzu's pajamas. I hope you don't mind." Momo shook her head and the doctor went on. "Miss Inoue helped a lot with your treatment. She's back in the house with my son and the other shinigami. Everyone was very worried about you, but nobody as much as these two young men here. They've been planted by your bedside since I let them come in to see you."
"I'm glad that… they were here… when I… woke up…" Keeping the appearance of being calm when her heart was torn to shreds had become too much for Momo to handle and her voice began to break up.
"She already knows, Mr. Kurosaki," Izuru said, hanging his head and squeezing his eyes shut as if to stave off tears. "She knows about the babies."
"I see," the doctor replied sadly as he walked over to the girl's bedside.
"Do you want us to leave?" Toushirou asked.
"No," she answered, tightening her grip on her two friends' hands. "Please stay."
Mr. Kurosaki continued in a calm but sympathetic tone that could only come from someone who was both a doctor and a parent. "Please know, Miss Hinamori, that I did everything in my power to halt the miscarriage. You sustained severe blunt force trauma to the abdomen that caused rupture and separation of both placentas. At that point, it was already too late. I performed dilation and curettage to remove the remaining contents of conception, but you'll still bleed for a few days. There was no permanent damage to your reproductive system, though. So you shouldn't have any problems with future pregnancies. I know that it's not much consolation."
Momo didn't know every word of the medical explanation but she understood what it meant. The moment Ichimaru rammed the hilt of his sword into her belly her babies' fates were sealed. There was no hope even before she released Tobiume's bankai. Her tears increased and she turned her head, hoping they would fall onto her pillow. A strong, warm hand landed gently onto her head.
"You shouldn't try to deny your grief," Isshin told her. "You need time to mourn your loss, Miss Hinamori. There is no greater pain than losing a child, even a child that has not been born yet. And you've lost two. So let yourself feel sad and let yourself cry. And remember that you have people who care about you very much, who will stand by your side and hold your hands through it all."
Momo looked up at the faces of Toushirou and Izuru with large, plaintive brown eyes. Then she turned her gaze towards the doctor, whose funny goat-bearded face was painted with heartfelt sympathy. His hand was still resting on her head. "Thank you," she said softly.
"I'm going to go and tell the others that you've woken up," Isshin said. "But I'll come back a little bit later to run some tests and check up on you."
The young woman nodded and Mr. Kurosaki walked out of the clinic door, leaving her with her two companions. As soon as the door closed again, her light crying turned to sobs. Somehow, having heard that man's kind and simple words opened up a floodgate of emotions inside Momo's heart, and everything she was feeling she let pour out through her eyes and through her mouth. In her uncontrollable sobbing, only a few actual words came out.
"…Taka… Suzume… dead… Tobiume… dead…"
Hitsugaya and Kira both relinquished Momo's hands so she could use them to rub her eyes. Once her crying subsided a bit and she stopped shaking so hard, Toushirou reached over and wiped a remaining tear from her cheek with his thumb.
"You can cry as much as you want, Momo," he said gently. "And I… well, Vice Captain Kira and I will be right here whenever you need us." He paused and his eyebrows furrowed into a look of concern. "Momo, I won't ask you to share what happened to you until you are ready to tell us. But there is one question I hope you might be willing to answer for me now. Did Aizen do this to you?"
Momo closed her eyes dolefully. "Yes," she replied softly. "It was Cap… it was Aizen. He just acted through his lackey, Ichimaru…"
Izuru's face knitted up in alarm at the mention of his former captain's name. "Aizen had Gin beat you up? How could he do such a thing?"
Even though Toushirou was shooting Izuru an icy glare for asking, Momo really didn't mind answering it so soon. She would rather share and get it out than have it devouring her from inside. "It was because I ran away," she sniffed. "He was going to turn the babies into Arrancar, so I had to run away to the Living World… But he sent Ichimaru after me and gave him permission to kill… It… it's all my fault…"
"What!" Hitsugaya stammered. "How is any of this your fault?"
"I shouldn't have run," she whimpered. "If I'd stayed in Hueco Mundo, the babies would still be alive. I tried to save them but I ended up getting them killed. I let my babies die. And I got Tobiume killed, too."
"Don't you dare blame yourself!" the younger boy barked.
"Momo, Aizen had a responsibility to love and protect those children," Izuru said. "He should never even have considered experimenting on them, let alone actually threatening it. You just did what any mother would have done. You had every right to leave."
"He's the one who sent Gin after you," Hitsugaya added. "He's the one who authorized the guy to hurt you."
"You must think I'm so stupid," Momo said softly. "For loving him… for actually thinking that he loved me and wanted to have a family with me…"
Izuru brushed a strand of black hair gently off her face. "Nobody thinks you're stupid, Momo. You are just a very good and pure woman who believes the best of others."
As Momo resumed crying quietly, the blonde boy continued to comb his fingertips through her dark hair. She still felt empty, but at least she wasn't alone. Toushirou seemed strangely on edge, though, as if he could hardly manage to sit still and keep a calm face.
"I'm sorry, Momo," he said, standing up tensely. "I… I just need to get some air for a couple of minutes. I'm sorry…"
The two other shinigami watched, somewhat stunned, as Hitsugaya walked a direct path to the door and hastily exited. Izuru frowned. Momo sighed, not because she felt abandoned by Toushirou, but because she was worried about him.
"Poor Shiro," she breathed, causing the blonde boy to blink in disbelief.
"Poor Shiro?"
An hour passed and Izuru found himself ascending through the skylight out onto the Kurosaki's roof. Just as he expected, the boy captain was already seated there, his knees pulled up against his chest, his face turned up towards the dark sky.
"I knew it was a safe bet you'd come up here," the blonde said. "Though to be honest, I thought you'd have come back by now."
"Is Momo okay?" Hitsugaya asked, turning to look at his visitor with worried eyes.
"She's fine," Izuru sighed. "I waited until she was sleeping before coming to look for you. She fell asleep cradling that little lion doll just like an infant, kissing his forehead. It was just about the most heartbreaking thing I've ever seen. She'll never get to hold her own babies like that." He paused for a moment. "Captain Hitsugaya, why did you just run out like that and not come back?"
"I didn't think I could hold it in any longer," he answered softly. As Izuru got closer, he could see that the younger boy's cheeks were wet.
"So after telling Momo that she's free to cry as much as she wants, you're embarrassed to let her see your own tears?" Izuru asked, uncharacteristically coy. "So you leave her and run away to the roof to cry? Seems a bit excessive. Momo's got enough on her mind right now besides worrying about you."
"You know I didn't want to abandon her," Toushirou said gruffly. "And I never meant to make her worry. I'm just not the type to let others see me get too emotional. I'm the strong inscrutable type. You're more of the crybaby type, Kira."
"Oh… I see," Izuru replied thoughtfully. "Maybe Mr. Kurosaki should have given you the same advice he gave Momo. Someone you care about was hurt very badly, physically and emotionally. You need time for grief, too. Personally, I think it would be nice to see you cry, show that you actually have feelings… You know, I had a hunch that you didn't really mean it when you told the doctor not to try and save her unborn babies. I knew you weren't that heartless."
Toushirou sighed. "Momo is the type who's always wanted to have children and a family. I didn't see her or talk to her during the short time while she was still pregnant. But you did, and you said she was happy. And I believe you… Even if the thought of that bastard having sex with her and getting her pregnant turns my stomach, I do believe she was happy. For Aizen to give her the family she's always wanted, Momo must have been very happy."
"And now…" Izuru began sadly.
"Now Aizen Sousuke has taken away any happiness he ever gave her, and then some," Toushirou continued. He was silent for a few moments as his hands curled up into tight fists. "He deserves to die in the most painful way possible for doing this to her. Never mind all of the other wicked plots he's executed. When I get my hands on him…"
"No," the older boy interrupted boldly. "You're not the only one who wants Aizen dead, and you are not going to kill him all by yourself. Have you forgotten how powerful the man is? We need to use our combined strengths, not just you and me, but everyone. We still have the trap that we set up in the perimeter around Urahara's store. It will work."
"Yeah," Hitsugaya snorted as he stood up and dusted himself off. "But not unless that coward shows his face." He cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted as loud as he could. "Did you hear me, Aizen Sousuke? You're a coward! Show your face you bastard! You coward! Aizeeeeeeen!"
Izuru watched with strange fascination as the young boy who outranked him stood fuming at the night, angry fists held tightly beside him. "Toushirou," he said calmly, breaking protocol and using the captain's first name. "There's nothing we can do tonight, so let's just go inside where it's warm. When Momo wakes up again, I'm sure she'll want to see your face."
Hitsugaya's shoulders relaxed and his hands unclenched. "I guess you're right," he sighed. "It really bugs me when you're right… But you know… she'll want to see your face, too."
"Huh?" the baffled blonde uttered. He turned to look at Hitsugaya, but the captain was already looking away. The two young men were about to retreat into the skylight when the soft, almost too quiet to hear sound of foreign footsteps caused them both to freeze in place and cautiously turn around. Standing just a few feet behind them was a tall figure with slicked back hair and clad in an immaculate white jacket.
"I heard somebody call my name," the man said in a low, smooth voice.
"Aizen," Izuru breathed.
"That's right," the man replied. "I've come to collect the body of Hinamori Momo."
To be continued…
