Chapter 11
Song: Loose Lips Sink Ships by A Change of Pace
Kate sat on her hospital bed and flipped through the channels the hospital provided. There were six: The History Channel, ABC, NBC, FOX, CNN, and, an odd channel that always had these old black and white cowboy movies playing. And at 11:00 in the morning on a Thursday, soap operas and old movies were about the only thing on, but Kate had just about had her fill of soap operas in the past two weeks. Some of them were downright laughable. Her favorite was the one where the people were stuck on a not-so-deserted island and the rescue plane couldn't find them. To Kate, the idea was so outrageous; it made her cry every time she watched it.
Her arm was slowly but surely healing, and the skin grafts the local doctors had done last week were taking very well. Most of her bruises and scrapes were healed, except for the one above her eye. Her ribs felt okay, although she had to move slowly, and her foot was in a boot and could be walked on. Overall, she looked a lot better than she felt.
Kate leaned back against her pillow and sighed. After two weeks, a very precise routine had been developed. A nurse would come it around 10 AM to wake her up and bring her breakfast. About 30 minutes later, she would come to collect the tray and check the machine readings. At twelve, the doctor would come to give her a check up. A nurse brought her lunch between 1:00 and 1:30. At first, her friends had brought her lunch from a fast food place, but Kate had made them stop so they wouldn't get detentions for leaving campus for lunch. She didn't want them to get in trouble, but she missed their company. Her aunt and uncle stopped by sometimes, on the days that they didn't have a working lunch, but that was rare. Being the head doctors in the ER didn't leave you much free time. Kate usually ate alone, and then worked on some of the make-up work Libby had brought her. At a quarter after two, a nurse came in with medicine and then she would help Kate get cleaned up - a shower and such - and ordered her back to bed after the sheets had been changed and she had done her physical therapy. Kate never refused. She was still pretty weak and even the simple exercises that the therapist helped her with left her exhausted. At about 3:45, her friends would begin to arrive. James always got there first, closely followed by Michael and Libby. They had been a quickly bonding couple and as each day passed, Kate found it harder and harder to remember what Libby was like without Michael around. Tom and Lindsey, who had kissed and made up – or kissed and made out as Libby had so eloquently put it one afternoon, earning herself scowls from both of them, usually arrived around 4:15 with doughnuts. They all talked for a while, and Libby, Michael, Tom, and Lindsey usually left around 5:45 so they could get home in time for dinner. James went out and bought dinner at a fast food place and brought it back because according to him, "This slop isn't worth giving to a wild boar." He stayed until the nurses kicked him out at 8:30. Kate then flipped channels or read a little bit in the book James had brought her called Watership Down. He kept insisting that it was really good, but Kate really hadn't gotten to the good part yet. She kept telling herself that book about bunnies had to get interesting sooner or later. Around 10:00, a nurse came and checked the charts one last time before Kate went to bed. Then she slept and the cycle began again the next day. It was very boring, so, needless to say, Kate was more than a little surprised and excited when her door opened at 11:00 AM on that Thursday. Until she saw who it was, that is.
"Kate!" Diane rushed towards her only daughter and buried her in a tight hug.
"Hi mom," Kate replied, hugging her mom back, but keeping her eyes on the person still standing in her doorway.
"Oh sweetie, I've been so worried about you!" Diane exclaimed. "Do you feel okay? Are you getting enough to eat? Are they treating you okay?"
"Yeah mom, I'm fine," Kate replied. "What's he doing here?" she asked, jerking her head towards the other person.
Wayne glared at Kate behind Diane's back.
"Oh, Wayne had been worried sick about you sweetheart. He just had to come with me when I visited you today." Diane looked back nervously and Wayne looked at her, approving of this lie.
Just then, a nurse popped her head into the room. "Excuse me Mrs. Kerry, but we need you and your husband to sign some forms."
Diane squeezed Kate's hand. "We'll be back in a few minutes honey."
Wayne waited until Diane had left the room, then spoke in a low voice.
"So, I see you managed to wriggle out of another near fatal mishap. Such a shame. Well, don't worry. I've got a nice little homecoming present. So, get well soon." Wayne sneered and Kate shuddered at the malevolence in his voice.
Wayne studied her for a moment, then smirked. "We had fun, didn't we Katie?"
Kate's insides froze. "Get. Out." Her voice held more force than she felt.
Wayne took one last, leering look and followed Diane down the hall.
Kate took one last look and her control shattered. She dissolved into silent tears as the door swung shut.
Kate's uncle, Dr. Kyle Marcus, watched this interaction from the hallway and began seething when he saw Kate start crying. He had long suspected that Wayne abused Kate, but had never been able to prove anything. He began to speculate possible ways to get Kate out of that household and hoped that by the time he had a plan, it wasn't too late.
Diane came back in twenty minutes later without Wayne, claiming he had gone to work.
'To a bar, more likely,' Kate had thought, but didn't say anything, glad to have some alone time with her mom. They had talked for the better part of an hour with frequent, awkward pauses, when Kate remembered the cell phone she had found a few weeks earlier.
"I just remembered, thanks for the cell phone mom," Kate said casually.
Diane looked at her strangely. "What are you talking about honey?"
"The cell phone, I found it in my room a few weeks ago."
"I never did anything like that, sweetheart. Are you sure you have a phone?" Diane looked suspicious.
"Oh, you're probably right," Kate said quickly. "I probably just misremembered. You know, the amnesia and all." Kate brushed it off nonchalantly and Diane laughed.
"I'll be right back honey," Diane said a few minutes later.
She exited the room and Kate let her smile drop into a puzzled frown. If her mom hadn't given her the phone, then who had? 'Did I make it happen? I was wishing for a phone when I opened that drawer. Is that even possible?" She opened the bedside table drawer and looked at the phone. 'I wonder if I did do that…could I do it again?' She thought for a moment, then closed her eyes and concentrated hard, feeling a little foolish. When she opened her eyes, she gasped. There on her bedside table, was a six pack of cokes.
Diane walked back in the room. "Where did those come from?"
"Oh, um, the nurse just brought them by. Libby brought them earlier this morning because I told her I was craving them," Kate lied quickly.
"Oh, okay then."
The door opened and Wayne came in.
"Come on Annie, we're leaving."
"But Wayne…" Diane tried to protest.
"Now," he said threateningly.
Diane kissed Kate lightly on the forehead. "Get better soon sweetie, we miss you at home."
Wayne waited until Diane had left the room. "Don't kid yourself. She may think she misses you now, but she'll forget about you five minutes after we leave. Take your sweet time getting better Katie-girl and enjoy your stay here, because you aren't wanted anywhere else. In fact, we could really care less whether you come or not. It's pretty nice living by ourselves." Wayne grinned malevolently and nodded. "See you again soon Katie."
Kate trembled, trying to hold back the tears she knew he wanted to see. Wayne scowled and shut the door behind him. He whistled and joined Diane near the elevator as she dissolved into tears.
None of them came that night.
Not that she expected them to. At about 2:30, a storm that could have knocked out the power in NYC came rolling through and knocked down trees into all the roads. The wind howled and rain flooded the city, cutting off all transportation. According to the last news report Kate had watched, people were going to be stuck inside for at least a couple of hours.
Kate sat on her bed and tried to hold back the tears. James had called, but after five minutes, line had gotten so fuzzy, it had been worthless to try and talk. She had known that they wouldn't be able to come, but it still disappointed her. She wished that someone had come. Ever since Wayne and his "special visit" she had been unable to keep her emotions in check. Wayne was that person who was always able to make her feel unloved, unwanted, and worthless.
'Who cares about me anyway?' She asked herself silently. 'What makes me think that anyone wants me around? Maybe Wayne's right, maybe it would be better for everyone if I just wasn't around anymore.' The storm had settled down to a lighter rain. Kate looked out her window, then glanced at the clock; 6:25. A nurse had brought Kate dinner, but she had just pushed it around on the tray, not really caring. Kate slowly got up and walked into the bathroom. A nurse had helped her dry her hair today, so it was hanging loosely around her shoulders. Kate stood in front of the mirror, her eyes red. 'Maybe it would be easier if I could just…let go,' Kate thought desperately. 'No one would care anyway.' She glanced around the bathroom and her eyes locked on something in the shower. She limped over and reached inside, drawing out a small, straight object and setting it on the counter by the sink. She shut the bathroom door, locked it and turned back around.
Kate stared at the razor sitting in front of her uncertainly. Was this really what she wanted? To be removed from the world with one swift, deep stroke? What was the point of sticking around anyway? She'd rather not deal with the pain. She just wanted it all to end. She didn't have anything to live for anyway, did she? Kate grasped the razor in a trembling hand and let out a shaky breath. She lowered it to her wrist and then…
"Kate?" a voice called from the adjoining room.
Kate gasped and dropped the razor. She hastily set it back on the counter and tried to wipe the tears away as she opened the bathroom door and stepped back into the bedroom. But the tears kept flowing.
James turned around and the grin he had on his face dropped the moment he saw her tears.
"What are you doing here?" Kate asked.
"I came to see you," he replied. "What's going on? What happened?" he asked, his voice laced with concern.
Kate didn't answer but glanced at the razor on the counter. James followed her gaze and his stomach dropped. He pulled her into a tight hug and her tears burst forth. She sobbed into his shoulder while he held her close and smoothed her hair, trying to comfort her. They sat there for several moments, James simply holding her while she let her feelings spill out. After a little while, James spoke softly. "You know, I tried to end it once."
Kate looked up, sadness in her eyes. "Really?"
James nodded. "Michael found me, though, and called 911. Lookin' back now, I'm glad he showed up when he did, but at the time, I was extremely pissed at the guy. It worked out okay though. I had to stay in the hospital for a couple of days and I had weekly shrink appointments for about a year. She still calls to check up on me sometimes. Michael was there for me the whole time."
"I'm sorry," Kate whispered after a moment.
James shrugged. "Nothin' to be sorry about. I've never met somebody who hasn't considered ending it once or twice. Jut tryin' to let you know you're not alone."
"Thanks."
She looked up and he wiped a few stray tears from her face with his thumb. She sighed and rested her head against his shoulder again. Her last thought before she drifted off to sleep was that just maybe, she did have something to live for after all.
James glanced down and saw that she had fallen asleep. He gently laid her down on the bed and kissed her lightly on the forehead. Walking outside, he saw a small group of nurses in the corner conversing in hushed tones. As he passed by he managed to overhear one of them say, "That poor girl, she's been crying ever since her parents left." His eyes widened and his blood ran cold as he surmised what had happened that day. Anger raged inside him as he thought of the many things Wayne could have done. As he stepped into the elevator, he promised himself that next time, he would be there to help her though it.
