Author's note: Sorry about the long break! I've been super busy that last couple weeks and have one more trip to get out of the way this coming week before things settle down! Hope you are still reading and enjoying this adventure! Happy reading, dark rolling sea.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Tom opened the door to their bedroom and saw her laying on the bed on her stomach with her head away from him. He took in the sight and felt the love move through him. He really did love her. She hadn't moved since he came in and she still didn't move as he came to the bed and climbed in. He draped his body over hers and wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly to him. He felt her relax and snuggled into him.
They stayed in that position for a long while, until he felt her shift underneath him. He loosened his grip on her and allowed her to roll from under him. He turned onto his side as they were now facing each other. He was feeling raw from his talk with Ashley and knew those emotions were still playing in his eyes. Rachel reached out and placed her hand against his chest and he closed his eyes, allowing his head to drop to the pillow. He felt her lips touch his and she gently kissed him. He opened his eyes and stared at her, but still kept quiet. He wasn't ready for words yet. He felt the ripple of pleasure as Rachel's hand on his chest slid across his ribcage and then down his side to his hip.
"So, are you going to ask me or are you just going to show up one day with a priest?" She asked him quietly. Her statement made him blush and he gave her a shy smile. He closed his eyes to compose his thoughts and he felt her hand leave his hip and ruffle through his hair. He leaned his head into her hand, relishing in her touch, but then opened his eyes.
"I know we never discussed it," he said, his voice taking on an apologetic tone. "But we should. With baby Chandler on the way," he said with a shrug. She smiled at him. Tom reached over and placed his hand on her stomach. The thought that his child was growing there made him happy.
"Are you ready for that again?" she asked him. He thought about her question as he rolled onto his back, placing his arm behind his head. He felt Rachel scoot closer and drape a leg over his as she snuggled into his side. He knew he was ready to be married again, especially with if it was Rachel by his side. He was ready to have a family. Then he thought if Rachel was ready for that step.
"Are you?" He asked her, a serious tone to his voice. She turned her head to look up at him. She hesitated and it sent a worm of worry through him. But then she smiled.
"Just waiting for you to ask," she whispered as she pushed up on her elbow and kissed him slowly. Tom sighed in content.
"So…you would…marry me?" he asked uncertainly. Rachel smiled a board smile and nodded slowly.
"Yes of course," she answered. Tom leaned and captured her lips into a passionate kiss. When they pulled apart, they settled back against the bed.
"Before or after the baby comes?" Tom asked suddenly. He wasn't sure what she wanted but he was ready now and knew he didn't want to wait too long. But he was willing to wait if Rachel wanted to do that.
"I don't know. What do you think?"
"I think we should do it tomorrow, but maybe that's too soon for you," Tom whispered. He watched as shock overtook her face.
"Tomorrow?"
"We could just take Dad and the kids down to the courts and have a judge marry us," Tom said. He was dead serious too. He could see Rachel thinking about it. He had done the real wedding last time so this time it didn't really matter to him, but maybe it did to her, so he was okay with what she wanted. "Unless you want to wait until we can get everyone together."
"I don't know," Rachel replied. "I would like to have some of the old crew I think."
"Proper wedding with a wedding party and the words?"
"I think I might."
"You think? It's okay if you want to wait until later."
"Don't you want some of your friends to be at the wedding?"
"Either way. I just want to be able to call you Mrs. Chandler," Tom whispered in her ear then he kissed her from her ear down to the tip of her jaw.
"Mmmhmm," she mumbled as he kissed her.
"I like the way that sounds," Tom said in a husky tone. And he did. He liked the idea of her becoming Mrs. Rachel Chandler. He found her lips with his and kissed her. He ran his tongue along her closed mouth, and she responded by opening it wide and the kiss deepened with intensity.
"Me too, but it's Dr. Chandler," she mumbled when they broke for air. They stared at each other for a long while before Rachel laid her head on his chest. Tom couldn't express how happy he was with his life in this moment.
"We can probably set up something pretty quickly if you want to do it now. Or if you prefer to wait until the baby comes, we can do that too."
"Let me think about it," Rachel replied
"Yes, Ma'am," Tom said gently. "We still need to tell Sammy about the baby. Ashley doesn't think he will take it very well."
"How did things go after I left?"
"Well, you scored major points with Ashley with the dressing down you gave me when you left."
"So, things got better? And you deserved that dressing down," she said. Tom laughed as he knew it was true. He loved that about her. She had never played into his bullshit and always called him out when he needed it.
"Yes, things got better. She's got a lot going on so I'm going to find a shrink she can talk to to help her through it."
"She agreed?"
"Yes, at least to try. It's not that she doesn't like you, its just she feels I'm replacing her mother very quickly."
"It was rather…"
"It's okay," Tom said cutting her off. He was completely okay with it now and he knew that in time the kids would be too. "I know it happened fast, but I'm okay with it now. I told her about you losing your mother so she may talk to you. But I didn't get the feeling she dislikes you as a person just what you represent in her life."
"I don't want to replace her mother," Rachel said quickly.
"I know that, and I explained that to her. I also explained that you'd be a good friend and you are the mother of her youngest sibling."
There was a quiet knock at the bedroom door. He looked over at the sound and frowned. He shifted a little in the bed.
"Come in," he said, and Rachel laughed quietly next to him. He glared at her, but it didn't stop her laugh. He figured it was because he sounded like he was a captain of a ship.
The door opened and Sammy poked his head in hesitantly. Tom sighed, but he looped an arm over Rachel, so she didn't pull away from him. He wanted his children to know that Rachel was filling a role in his life. He also wanted her to know it was okay to be in a position like this in front of his children.
"What do you need, Sammy," he asked quietly.
"I just…it was lonely…I don't know," Sam stumbled through his words. Tom felt his heart break a little for his son, knowing he was going through so much at such a young age. It had to be hard for him to articulate what he was going through. Tom raised his free hand and made a gesture for Sam to come to him.
"Come here, I know it's been a rough ride for a while," Tom said gently. Sam walked over to the bed side and Tom shifted a little as Rachel scooted over so they could make room for Sam in the bed. His son crawled in and snuggled up to Tom's side.
The three of them laid there quietly for a long while as Tom comforted Sam. He wrapped his arm tightly around him, holding him tightly to his side. He rubbed his hair and stroked his back, silently giving the boy comfort. At one point Tom felt Rachel sigh and leaned his head over to look at her. She looked up at him and smiled. Tom kissed her gently on the lips then turned his head back towards Sam.
"Sam," Tom said breaking to silence.
"Yeah, Dad?" he asked.
"How would you feel about being a big brother?" Tom asked quietly. He felt his son stiffen at the words and he was quiet for a long while. "Sam?" Tom prompted him after he didn't receive an answer.
"Why would you ask that?" Sam asked. Tom could hear the anger in his son's voice. He was a little taken aback at the reaction. It was not what he was expecting.
"Well, Rachel and I want you to know that you're going to be a big brother in a couple of months."
"What?" he asked, this time the anger was heavy in his voice. Tom felt heartache. His son was not happy about all the changes. Tom pulled his arm from around Rachel and sat up on the bed, leaning back against the headboard. Sam sat up suddenly too and faced away from him.
"You're going to have a baby brother or sister, Sam. Rachel is having a baby."
"Why?" Sam asked. Tom could hear the tears in his son's voice.
"Sam," Tom said gently as he put a hand on his son's shoulder. Sam jerked away from him, and he felt a wave a hurt wash through him. "Sammy what's wrong?"
"I don't want a brother or sister," he said angrily. "I don't want a new mom. I don't want to live here. I don't want a new family. I don't want mom to be dead. I don't want to…I hate all of this!" Sam said, his voice growing louder and shriller with each statement. Tom felt crushed. He had thought Sam had been doing well coping and adjusting to things, but he had been wrong. Sam had just been hiding his true feelings from the world. Ashley had tried to warn him.
Tom felt Rachel move behind him and when he looked at her, she was standing next to the bed. He knew his face must have shown bewilderment and she gave him a small smile in return. She was going to abandon him to deal with this, but deep down he knew that's what Sammy needed.
"I'll leave you alone with him," she said. He thought about protesting but he knew she was right. He needed to deal with this himself and not hide behind her. He needed to help his son and having her in the room would go against that. "He needs you," she whispered, then walked out of the room. Tom watched her go then shifted his focus back to his son.
"Sam," Tom said as he shifted so he could sit next to him on the side of the bed. Sam scooted away from him when he did so. "Come on, Buddy, talk to me about this."
"I hate this," Sam said through gritted teeth, tears running down his face.
"I'm sorry I haven't noticed how much you're struggling, but you seemed to be okay."
"I want mom back!" he shouted.
"I know. I miss her too."
"If mom was here, she wouldn't be here. She's not my mom," Sam said angrily.
"And she doesn't want to replace your mom, Sam."
"But she is with you!"
"No, Sam. I didn't replace your mom. Look, I know this is difficult for you and you don't understand a lot of things that have happened lately. But Rachel isn't a replacement for your mom. But I do love Rachel and she will be my wife. And she is having your younger sibling."
"I don't want a baby sibling, Dad, I want to go back to how things were. I want it to be you me Grampa and Ashley. I want to have mom back."
"I know, Sammy, I know," Tom said gently. He lost his hold on his tears. This was tearing his heart out.
"I hate it here."
"You just got here, give it time."
"I miss our home, I miss mom, I miss our old life," Sam sobbed. Tom tried to wrap him in a hug, but the boy shook his away and stood up abruptly. Tom grabbed his hand and tugged.
"Sam, sit down, it's going to be okay."
"No, it's not. Not only did you replace mom, now you're replacing me!"
"What? No, why…Sam what are you talking about?"
"The new baby. It'll replace me."
"No, it won't," Tom said sternly. "Sam, listen to me. No one could ever replace you."
"I wish mom was alive," he said with a sob. Tom felt broken inside. He was going to have to set something up for Sammy too. This area was not within his wheelhouse of skills. Maybe a family session would be beneficial as well. He should have done this sooner and now he felt guilty he let his kids get this far without proper help.
"I know, Buddy, I know," Tom said as he tried to hug him again. But Sam pushed his away and jumped up from the bed and ran from the room.
Tom was stunned for a second then jumped up and followed his son out into the hallway. Sammy took off down the stairs, running at full speed and Tom chased after him. Tom was almost down the stairs when he heard the front door bang open.
Sammy!" Tom shouted as he raced past Ashley and Rachel in the living room and went out the front door after his son.
To Be Continued…
