(Five)

I remember how Remy came into our lives.

I had seen him in a dream before Babette had even laid eyes on him. It was whispered to me that he was coming and that I was to help him in some way. I would know what to do when I saw him. The voices did not lie, for a couple days later there he was. Babette came home, glowing from head to toe, and told me the tale of how she'd picked him up out of the crowd at one of her favorite French Quarter hangouts, The Fair Chere. At first she had chosen him for his obvious beauty, but it hadn't taken her long to see that he wasn't like anyone else there.

"He had the Kundatesh!" she whispered to me.

"Imposszible," I said. "No human doesz."

"He does!" she insisted and it was true. She had allowed Remy to take her to a hotel for play, a place she would later keep as her favorite place to take clients. The two of them had quite the wild time, a dance of pleasure that had lasted for many hours. She was overjoyed by this as she has a tendency to overwhelm some of her lesser human clients. But not him. He kept pace with her, the greatest pleasure of all.

"Magnificent he was!" she said to me. Even as time passed, her amusement with this strange human remained, and when she found him again a few weeks later, she was quick to bring him to our home. It wasn't normally allowed for any of us to bring clients to the house, our Master was an offworlder after all. Couldn't be frightening the local human sheep like that. Anyway Remy was in a bad way, this poor human. He was worried sick about you, my dearest Kimble. Babette used that as a tool to work around the rules of the palace and Trishnar allowed her to bring him in.

The first moment she was free, Babette ran to me, her eyes brimming with excitement. "It is him! The one I told you about, a human with Kundatesh!. But sick he is now, sick in his heart. Something has happened to his Siskan."

When I saw him for myself, I could see she had not been mistaken about his power or his condition. Yes, he was distraught about his poor lost Siskan, but his trouble ran much deeper than that. He didn't suffer so much from the sexual hunger, but I could see that he was suffering from the bombardment of emotional vibrations. He was under a lot of stress. He of course had no clue what was going on with his own body. He was like Talalanay had been when the Kundatesh first came to him. He was lost and seeking a good teacher.

I don't know how long Remy had had this power, he was so feeble with it that it couldn't have been for long. I was later to learn that you had only recently gifted him with our magic, by some strange means no one could adequately explain. I still don't understand it myself, this sharing of files. I could think of no worse thing for him, to be trapped between being Chuckfet and Siskan, but there he was, beautiful in his suffering.

Babette's poor precious find had that look of pain, of suffering from a need that could not be satisfied. His eyes betrayed a lack of sleep and his body was thin, clearly the boy hadn't been eating well for some time. He had the smell of drink and strange medicines on him, chemicals that couldn't possibly help him, the poor dear. He had been suffering for weeks with this and needed the door opened.

I knew what this was even if Babette did not. Remy was more than sick, he was in Shemusk. Perhaps not as much as a true Siskan could feel, but confused enough to suffer.

" 'Scuze me?" Remy spoke aloud in his confusion. Yeah, he remembered being a little out of sorts, but not to the degree that it demanded another Siskan's immediate attention. Sounded like maybe Aiden was more than a little full of himself here. Remy sipped his drink and read on.

I knew what Remy was suffering from and I that I was the one who was to help him. That was what I had been shown in my vision. I knew what to do, Quishnalay had explained the cure to Talalanay long ago. It requires the services of a Lushna-esk Courtesan, the more powerful the better, a Kintay du Lushna-esk in particular, if you can find one. Lucky for Remy, I just happened to be available.

Babette did not recall her own Shemusk, but trusted me well enough when I told this to her. She was not powerful enough to do what was required properly, to free this poor suffering human from something he was unaware of himself. See, she had been melted, but only just once and not so many times as me. She was not a true Kintay as I am., she was only just slightly "touched". She had been teaching Remy some control, but it was a job left incomplete.

I told her my desire, to help him the way it should be done, that it was inconceivable for him leave our palace remaining in such a state. He would never find peace with his power, it would torment him always. I presented myself to him many times, but he kept refusing me, much to my frustration. My dear Babette later explained that he wouldn't come to me, not with me as a man, the silly boy. I waited as long as I could, hoping he would come around, but then he said he would be leaving us. There was a sense of panic in me, of a great desire to see the job completed. I changed skins for him and then we lay together, him and I.

I wonder if he remembers me, of what we shared that day. I remember it well enough, so I do. The bright lights and magic. I will never forget that moment with him, I will always remember the look in his eyes, that total bliss of having all of his pain and suffering removed. There is nothing that compares to that expression of complete awareness, of being opened and free.

You see, if it's left too long, if the 'gram is left to suffer with Shemusk, it will drive them mad. Some do not even survive, they destroy themselves to end their pain and endless craving.

Gambit paused here to think, knowing that in his own stubborn way, Aiden had been right. There had been a period of time, just after he had met Kimble and they had shared files, where he hadn't been all that stable himself. He was learning about the shines and vibrations, but he was all alone, trying to educate himself about this power on his own. Kimble had been taken and there was no one he could talk to about it. Seth was around, but as far as anyone knew, Seth didn't have the Kundatesh, he had no answers to ease Remy's suffering. Of course Remy was stubborn himself and not always willing to talk about things that troubled him.

Remy had thought that he had suffered from stress, not that he was feeling something that could be classified as an actual condition. Here Aiden had offered him a name for it, the Great Awakening, Shemusk. A bold title for such a simple thing, but it was a fact that at points Remy was close to breaking down. If he hadn't had the support of his teammates and family back home in New Orleans, he would have cracked up for sure. His emotions had been all over the place - he was angry, he was sad, he was confused. He had gone violent, lashing out at Wolverine in a way that was not normal for him. Suicide had crossed his mind on more than one occasion, not a new thing for him, but he was fortunately stronger than his darker side. Gambit had blamed his troubles on his distress over the loss of Kimble and his inability to recover him. Apparently the best thing he had done was go to Trishnar's.

Remy wasn't stupid, he knew that both Babette and Aiden had helped him, he just didn't realize until now just what it had meant. If what Aiden was saying was true, he had been in deeper trouble than he had realized.

As it was with Remy, so it was with Talalanay only much, much worse. Being a true Lushna-esk, the hurt and pain was doubled. Talalanay cried and cried and Quishnalay eventually noticed.

The Master took Talalanay to a separate place in his apartment, an area he had never been before. Quishnalay owned many Siskans and more than a few of them were special in different ways. He left Talalanay in the care of Sharak, a Lushna-esk Courtesan he'd made from a private clutch many years ago. Sharak was special. He wasn't just a simple Lushna-esk 'gram, but a Kintay like I am now. I never learned what horrible things had befallen him to make him this way, Talalanay hadn't questioned it at the time, he was much too innocent. All he knew was that Sharak had an amazing power, one that was about to be jump started in himself.

Sharak was intensely beautiful, a perfect male specimen and indeed, Talalanay's first Kintay partner. So many things Sharak taught little Talalanay that day, more than his Master intended I think. They lay together and Sharak opened the door.

It doesn't have to be done this way, the door can be opened by a powerful Kintay with just a touch alone, but there is nothing like that first time we lay with another like ourselves. There are no words in any language to describe it. Nothing can come close to the exchange of Kundatesh between 'grams, nothing. It puts every Chuckfet client to shame, making them seem not so perfect as they had been before.

Tell me, Kimble, don't I speak the truth? What thoughts ran through your mind the first time you ever blacked out? The Wasayachay-sharoo -- the Love Sleep - Frashnay calls it, remembering its true name when I did not. Tell me, did any Chuckfet client ever satisfy after you felt that?

Remy paused here to softly laugh. Okay, he was guilty here of agreeing just a little bit. It was true that being with a Lushna-esk Siskan was a real trip, redefining sex for him forever. He would always be drawn to it, an addiction he would be forced to deal with for the rest of his life. It had pulled him away from Molly and drawn him back to Kimble all those times. But he'd made his final vow and it was one that he would never break.

You see, Remy knew something that Aiden did not. Remy knew that love transcends all of that. No great Kundatesh rush could ever replace the way Molly made him feel. Sex had nothing to do with it, nor did her pregnancy, though that was an added bonus. The reality was that Molly was a better fit for him than Rogue or even Kimble had been. Just the sensation of her arms sliding around his waist, her head gently resting on his shoulder, there was nothing close to that. Her laugh, her soft and tender sounds, it was a music to his ears that Kimble could never create. Her vibrations, so perfect and compatible with his own. They did not carry the bitter undertaste of Kimble's deep depression, a side effect of his terrible breaking. Her vibrations were forever sweet, her shine the brightest of all.

Just thinking about it, the thief was forced to close his eyes and shake there for a minute. He loved her in a way that most men would never freely admit to, too proud to give away such a terrible secret. He would die if she were gone, he could never survive the loss. She was his foundation, the only thing that kept him sane most of the time as he dealt with the Siskans in his life and the turbulent world outside. The thought of Molly loomed large in his mind and he was sorely tempted to shut the computer off and take her right there on the couch.

Got to get dis done, he grumbled to himself. He was too easily distracted, especially when the task was less than thrilling. He doubted there were too many happy endings in here. Just a little more, dan we see if Molly's up to a little playin', d'accorde? Dat's a good boy, heh. He smiled at his own joke and began to read.

Did I make you laugh and smile just then? Heh, I'll just bet I did. See I know a thing or two about this Love Sleep. I must admit here that I have never experienced this myself. It turns out my Receiver codes do not allow for such a thing, but I had seen it many times, oh yes. Unable to pop me out, Sharak used something far more powerful than a simple Kundatesh rush to break me from Shemusk.

He used the Morrowhiem, the greatest of all of our gifts.

The Morrowhiem. It's the formal name for the sparkling lights, the Love Glitter. The Morrowhiem is a special magic, one that fills us with such love and happiness. It's our most precious gift.

Remy smiled, having some knowledge of this. He hadn't thought much about what he'd witnessed, but the expression "Love glitter" brought it all back with a startling clarity. He had been at Trishnar's for days, trying to learn all the secrets Trishnar's 'grams had to tell. Aiden in particular had interested him but Aiden's information had a price - the Dreamer desired intimacy, something Remy hadn't had in him to share, not just yet. The two of them had been playing a kind of cat and mouse game, with Aiden refusing to speak to him. Poor Babette had been caught in the middle, trying to make peace. Remy had followed Aiden to one of Trishnar's huge libraries and once more tried to get Aiden to simply speak to him. Aiden wanted more than conversation and they had argued. Aiden had started to walk out but Babette convinced him to stay, prompting him to use the Morrowhiem as a bridge between them. He had done so, creating a cloud of glitter that floated in the air like fairy dust.

Remy would never forget that. The lights were small bits of psychic energy and when they touched him, it was like being kissed all over. He had been filled with the most delightful peace and happiness, thinking of all the simple pleasures in life he had ever enjoyed. He had laughed and laughed, drunk on it almost instantly, all of his frustration with Aiden gone. Aiden had tremendous power and he could control the message passed between them. Without speaking a word, Remy could feel the Dreamer's great affection for him. It had been one of the greatest thrills of his life.

Later, when they had finally been intimate, that same glitter had passed through him directly. It had blasted his mind, kicking that door inside him wide open. Shi'ow-ri had shouted with joy and became his greatest companion, a gift that had changed his life forever. Remy knew he was in debt to Aiden, to them both. Aiden and Babette would forever be his responsibility, a job he would always cherish.

Talalanay got his first taste of the Morrowhiem on that fateful day with his Kintay du Lushna-esk teacher. Sharak took Talalanay to a private room, one that had a huge bed covered with bright red silk sheets and thick blankets and pillows. When Talalanay asked about this place, Sharek explained that this was his own private room that the Master had given him. Sharek's function here was the release of Shemusk, a task he performed well.

Talalanay laughed in spite of his own swirling emotions. Sharek's vibrations were happy and intoxicating, almost as much as his strange broken speech. Sharek was Talalanay's first Kintay, the first he'd heard speak. Sharek speaks like I do now, his Z's sharp and exaggerated. If I was more superstitious, I might have seen that Talalanay's first Kintay speaking as I do now was some kind of sign, a mark of fate.

Sharek lay Talalanay down, and well... I haven't the words to describe this, the wonderful explosion of sight, smell, touch and sound. Talalanay learned there was so much more than just his physical body, there was a place that could only be reached by two souls with the same magic, a Kundatesh Express to another place. A place where our minds meet and touch in ways no Chuckfet could ever understand. Sharek pulled Talalanay from his body, brought him there and wrapped Talalanay up inside himself, letting Talalanay feel him inside him and out. The climax that followed was Kundatesh induced and explosive, sparkling glitter lights poured into Talalanay and found kin within. Talalanay's power was only just growing, but the potential of it was there and Sharek saw it.

One good blast of Sharek's Morrowhiem and Talalanay's own Kundatesh came out in a torrent. The aching burning inside was put out and all was calmness and bliss. The young boy found peace. He saw the shines and understood that he could now "see" and "read" the moods of the humans around him.

This is what Sharak did for Talalanay. I imagine Sharak's relief at a job well done was as great as mine was for what had passed between myself and your Remy.

I know you know what the Kundatesh is, dearest Kimble, if not its true name. It is the power that we share. There is no love like that which passes between those with the Kundatesh. It's the most empowering thing, the most sacred.

To this day I still prefer my own kind to my Chuckfet clients. Really, what do the Chuckfet have to offer me? Their love? Please! The only thing they love is themselves. That and all the wealth their greedy little minds can imagine.. No, the Chuckfet are an amusement to me and nothing more. It's a Kundatesh love I need to really feed the hunger inside me. If I hurt, it's Babette that heals me. She does it with her love and her great and loving heart.

The Morrowhiem is part of the Kundatesh, but not all of us possess it. Those that do end up with it can have it with various degrees of potency. It is this magic that can be used to persuade the wounded to heal. It boosts the mood, you see. Heightens one's spirit. With the Chuckfet, it can become a terrible addiction. The Kundatesh in its weakest form can be lure enough, but a Chuckfet addicted to the Morrowhiem can be a creature in woe, indeed. They'll hound you, force you, beat you close to death just to feel it again. It's another reason I have never used it on a Chuckfet client, it's simply too dangerous.

The Morrowhiem is powerful, it can heal more than the wounds of the flesh, it can heal the wounds of us if you have the talent deep enough. I admit, my ability with that magic is not as powerful as that — but I know one who is. Asher.

He comes later in my tale, but I think of him when I think of broken things. He helped me in many ways and I do hope that there comes a time when you will meet him for yourself. I hope that the Games Master preformed well for you, but I have lingering doubts. He wasn't able to fully repair me, and so I wonder just how whole you really are, my precious Kimble. I have wondered why it was that my Master never offered the services of Asher, he would surely have done so if Remy had but asked.

Gambit stopped again, breathing a shivery sigh of frustration. It really would have been nice if he had been given this information a long time ago. All these years he had been struggling when perhaps he hadn't needed to. It was true he wrote to Babette, sending along his best wishes to Aiden, but he hadn't spoken of Kimble's troubles. It just seemed too much like whining and he wasn't one to complain. Over the years, Remy's correspondence trailed off as life took over. Every now and again, Aiden would send another painting, prompting Remy to write again. Christmas cards and small presents were exchanged, but the closeness that they had achieved over the six days he'd spent there had never been fully felt again. Remy did not go to Trishnar's palace to visit again, nor had an invitation to return been sent. The fact was they were competitors in the Game and there would always be some distance between Trishnar and himself

Trishnar had been kind enough to offer him the salvation of the Games Master, but that did not mean he would be so generous to help him any further. Remy now knew that Asher was a Rogue, Aiden had told him so before. Why would he expect that Trishnar would grant him the further boon of the use of such a powerful Rogue 'gram? There would always be the risk that Remy would turn on him and try to steal such a prize. He was a thief after all, right? Remy wouldn't have been so crass, he respected the 'grams too much for that. Trishnar was a good and kind Master, he wouldn't try to take a Siskan away from someone who showed such respect for those he possessed. Now if abuse had been involved... that would have been something else. But of course such a cruel Master would not have been as generous as Trishnar had been. Gambit had never been given any reason to fear for Babette and Aiden's safety.

Remy sipped his drink, trying to quiet his wandering thoughts. Perhaps if he continued, he might be able to discover Asher's whereabouts. Aiden was speaking of him as though he still existed somewhere in Trishnar's care. So, back to Aiden's tale.

Sharak, the powerful Kintay that was used to open Talalanay, told Quishnalay that Talalanay was an exceptional talent, his power was strong. It must have been true, for as strong a Kintay as Sharak had been, he had been unable to black me out, to bring me fully over the edge as was normally required for the opening to be done correctly. Talalanay's Shemusk was over just the same, though Sharak felt he shouldn't be fully compensated for his work.

Quishnalay simply laughed and explained to Sharek that no one would ever be able to black Talalanay out. It was the Receiver codes, you see. I could no more be blacked out then as I can be now.

Talalanay had full use of the Kundatesh early and Quishnalay knew Talalanay might even grow to possess the Morrowhiem himself someday. Such a powerful 'gram could come to have this gift without the breaking if he was handled well enough, in fact abuse might even kill this ability if he were to grow to hate enough. Sharak strongly suggested that Talalanay should be educated so that his potential would not go to waste.

Quishnalay agreed and the boy was taken to a special school. He learned the arts of love and the ways of the Kundatesh. He could soothe and use this magic to increase the pleasure of others and ease their pain if they suffered. He learned to read the shines, to understand how they could be used to improve his ability to serve clients and please his Master. Oh, what a happy boy was Talalanay. His joy was the giving of pleasure to others. Nothing fulfilled him more than the laughter of a client or the shaking thunder of his Master's heartbeat.

Ah, yes. Quishnalay.

So taken was he with his talented young progeny that it was only a matter of time before the Master used him himself for his own pleasure. Quishnalay loved his Courtesans, but he rarely slept with them, it invited the fragile young things to form a bond with him that was later hard to break. They didn't like to be passed on as was inevitable with us. Quishnalay broke his own rules and lay with Talalanay.

Talalanay was overjoyed of course. His heart bloomed with love and joy. He knew no greater happiness. It was only later that he would learn that Quishnalay was still a true Chuckfet, cruel and heartless, the worst one of them all.

Remy put his laptop aside, rubbing his eyes. He wasn't one to read for long and he simply wasn't used to this many words pouring in. He glanced at the couch and saw Molly had crashed out, her book on her chest. The sight of her there, looking so pretty and fragile, took his breath away for a moment. Times like this made him wonder why he did the stupid things he did, why he would ever risk doing anything to lose her.

T'ink I'm done fo' de night, he thought to himself and shut his computer down. He got up and went to his wife, gently nuzzling her until she smiled and cracked an eye at him. "See someone couldn't wait fo' de sandman," he teased gently.

Molly laughed and let him coax her to her feet. They shuffled off to bed, curling up around each other like the natural lovers they were. Molly dropped off quick, having been mostly there already, but Remy's mind still mulled over some of what he had read.

Shemusk. Was this something real or something Aiden only thought he knew? If it were a real thing, why hadn't Trishnar mentioned it? Perhaps he thought Remy already knew. There were things Trishnar had said that led Remy to think the Dognan King thought Gambit knew more than he had. At the time, Gambit had used that to lure Trishnar into revealing as much about the Game as possible. Besides, they had both been dealing with mature 'grams at the time, Shemusk seemed to be a thing that only affected newly made 'grams.

Gambit drifted off to sleep, the Dreamer's thoughts still in his head. He dreamt of Morrowhiem, of lovely clouds of glitter and love, only he was sharing them with Molly and the glitter was coming from himself. They were shimmering together and he couldn't stop from shaking at the magic of it. Sometime during this dream, the fantasy became reality and Molly was loving him. He had been moaning in his sleep, aroused beyond his ability to keep quiet. She had woken up and was taking gleeful advantage of him, something he wasn't about to fight, not in his half asleep, half awake state. They made love and fell quiet, both of them sleeping more soundly than before.

Remy woke the next morning, sprawled over their large bed, claiming it for himself. He was the last to rise and could hog it up all he wanted. He could smell fresh coffee and cinnamon rolls, his favorite breakfast. The smell of it made him a bit homesick, he missed the large communal breakfasts they had all shared back at the quad, something that was missing now. Perhaps he wasn't the only one missing that. Maybe he could do something to change that, to bring Aiden and Kimble back into the fold now that they had made up.

He could hear his lovely ladies outside his door, Angel's high pitched voice was chirping around the breakfast table as she helped Molly get ready. She was laughing and making jokes, her vibrations of happiness strong enough for him to feel from where he was. She kinda chipper dis mornin'.

/ So was her daddy last night, Shi'ow-ri reminded him with her soft whisper.

Remy snickered softly. Funny how that was. When Kimble was down, Angel was down. Now that Kimble had unloaded a boatload of stress, so Angel was feeling better as well. There could never be any doubt of the bond they shared, they didn't even have to be in the same room for it to be shared. Remy, ever the optimist, was hopeful now that the relationship between father and daughter could be rebuilt. Now, if only Jael would only grant them the time.