So my dears, here is Chapter 15. It starts out a little slow, so try not to succumb to boredom!


Chapter 15

I stared across the street at the once-beautiful Lestrange Manor that had been my home before Rodolphus and I had been sentenced to Azkaban. Clearly the house elves were still working away at trying to keep the house in relatively good condition, but it had lost most of it's shine and glamour. It now looked like a typical wizarding home, slightly larger of course, butit was impossible to tell that it belonged to one of the most prominent pureblood families. I sighed heavily, pained at the loss of such a monumental symbol of power and wealth.

There were several Aurors place around the street within a block or two of the house, and I was once again thankful for my disguise. A couple of skillfully performed charms kept me from being recognizable to any ministry wizards present.

I didn't want to push my luck by walking up to the house though.

On the night of the escape, some weeks before, Narcissa and Lucius had told me that I was welcome to remain at their home as long as was necessary. It looked like it was going to be necessary for quite some time to come.

That looked like an extremely appealing option at the moment. Our master hadtold me that his home was open to me, butI did notparticularly want to live with him for any extended period of time. Voldemort had requested that I come to visit him at his home regardless of where I chose to reside. He had been careful not to phrase it as a command, and had thus ensured that my conscious loyalty would be tested. It was a very underhanded thing for him to do, and I was a little insulted by the fact that he didn't trust my loyalty to him.

"Come away from here now, Bella," a quiet voice whispered in my ear.

I turned to see a man I didn't recognize standing beside me with his hand on my elbow. I nodded and followed him, trying to remain as alert and calm as possible. Panic was flickering at the edges of my mind. Who was this man, and why did he want me to go with him?

"Where are we going?" I asked quietly as we turned a corner.

My gaze lifted to his face once again, and I saw that it was Severus. He had clearly used some sort of charms to mask his appearance as well.

"Lucius asked me to bring you back to his home," Severus replied quietly, walking briskly and confidently. Nobody would have any reason to stop him if they were to cross his path. "It's not safe for you to be out on your own right now."

I walked with him in silence, trying to decide how I felt about this particular series of events. Why would Lucius send Severus to get me when Severus was working at Hogwarts? More importantly, why would Severus agree to such an inconvenient request? It didn't really make sense to me, but I decided to ignore it for the time being and pretend that all was perfectly as it should be.

"Bella."

My brows lifted, and I turned to look at Severus. In the time since I had been freed I had put on part of the weight I had lost, and I was beginning to look more like my old self.

"Yes?" I asked when he didn't speak for a few moments.

"Perhaps I was a bit harsh on the night of your escape," he said quietly, his eyes narrowing slightly as he looked at me.

"That won't work, Severus," I said calmly, well aware that he was trying to peek into my mind. "You know that I have been able to keep you out of my mind for quite some time now," I added.

"Pity," he murmured. "Bella, when will you finally let yourself be happy with Rodolphus?" he asked as we continued to walk down the street. We had to get well out of range of the aurors before apparating.

"Never," I replied, shooting him a glance out of the corner of my eye.

"And that is because you still have feelings for me?"

I sighed heavily.

"Severus, you know I still have feelings for you. Why do you even bother to ask me that?" I replied wearily.

"How is that possible?" He demanded harshly, gripping my arms suddenly. "It has been years since you last saw me! You don't even know me anymore!"

I smiled faintly.

"But I know who and what you were, and we can never change from what we were, Severus," I said quietly. "You can't alter the past."

He dropped his hands back to his sides.

"Why don't you come to your senses?" He asked rhetorically. "You know that I can't feel about you the way that you would like me to."

"But I can hope. I think we're safe to apparate now," I said calmly.

"You seem to have mellowed in Azkaban," he noted.

"Hardly," I shot back. "But when you're wanted for escaping from Azkabanand being a convicted Death Eater you don't got around making scenes. I wouldn't want to make it easy for the aurors to find me."

He smirked slightly.

"Be sure to tell Lucius that our Master wants to speak with the two of you at the soonest possible time."

With that, he was gone. I shook my head softly, glancing around for any prying eyes before apparating away myself.

Narcissa was sitting in the house with Rodolphus.

"Hello, Bella, how was your day?" Rodolphus asked solicitously. I shot him a smile that was clearly fake and he sneered slightly. I gave him no other response.

"Regardless of how you may feel, Bella, you are my wife," he said. Every time he said the phrase 'my wife' I felt as if I were nothing more than a possession to him.

"And?" I asked snottily.

"And I expect you to at least feign an affection for me," he thundered.

"But I hate you," I replied innocently.

"Bellatrix!" Narcissa scolded.

"What?" I cried in anguish turning to her. "He is a...a monster! He repulses me and I love somebody else!"

"Rodolphus, would you mind giving us a few moments alone?" Narcissa asked quietly, her gaze never leaving my eyes.

"If you think you can do something about her, you can have as much time as you want," he replied, grabbing my wrist painfully. "Be polite to your sister."

I sneered at him and jerked my wrist out of his grasp. I could tell that bruises would begin to form shortly.

"Bellatrix, you don't know how difficult it is for Rodolphus to see you in love with somebody else," she said quietly. "You don't understand how painful it is to know that the person you love does not love you."

"Narcissa, Rodolphus does not love me," I snorted. "He sees me as a possession that he can covet. Besides, what would you know about loving somebody who doesn't love you back?" I shot venomously. "You have a perfect marriage."

She lifted her gaze to mine.

"I know because Lucius loves you, Bella. He has since we were in school together. Not in the all-consuming manner that you think you love Severus, but in a quietly desperate manner. Lucius would do anything for you. He wants, above all else, for you to be happy. I think the only person that he cares about as much as you is Draco."

I stared at her in shock. She had to be lying. If Lucius had loved me, he wouldn't have tried to help me get Severus all those years ago, would he? Wouldn't he have been more upset every time that he stumbled upon me snogging someone else? Wouldn't he have had any sort of emotional response to anything that I had done in the past?

"Lucius loves you so deeply that he can let you hurt him. He cares about you more than himself," she said quietly, tears shimmering in her eyes. Her voice was growing more desperate with each word she spoke. "Did you know he watches you sleep sometimes? I followed him the last two times he left our rooms and he stood in your doorway, watching you sleep."

"Stop it, Narcissa."

My head snapped to the doorway. Lucius stood there, rage blazing in his eyes. Narcissa pressed her lips together.

"You are being completely ridiculous," he snarled, stalking into the room.

"Don't bother trying to deny it, Lucius," she replied softly. "I know things about you that you wouldn't believe."

She walked quietly out of the room. I sighed heavily. He didn't speak. Neither did I. We remained inuncomfortable silence for quite some timebefore I finally spoke.

"Lucius, Severus asked me to tell you that our Master wants to see us immediately," I told him, finally breaking the heavy, uncomfortable silence.

"We should go to him then," Lucius said quietly.

There was an uncomfortable distance between us. We had always been such good friends. It was like there was an unbreachable gulf between us.

I didn't know whether I believed what Narcissa had said or not. Lucius hadn't denied it. Not even to me. He had tried to get Voldemort to give me to him...but that was just a gesture made in friendship, wasn't it? But...what about that moment on my first night here?

"Lucius," I asked hesitantly.

"No, don't ask me about what she said," he said quietly, his gaze turning to me. "Ask me about anything else, but God, Bella, please do not ask me about the things she said."

I stared at him helplessly. Was that an admission that Narcissa was telling the truth?

How much had I hurt him over the years if he really did feel for me as I felt for Severus? I knew the pain that I had felt over the way that Severus had treated me, but I had never even acknowledged that Lucius had feelings for me. I had never seen him as anything except a means to an end. I had used him. I had ignored him. I had treated him as an inferior. I had never given him anything he deserved. But he had never told me! How was I supposed to have known?

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"Don't be," he replied, not looking at me. "It's my own fault."


A/N: Sigh, let me honest. I write when I'm having emotional upheaval, and at the moment, I'm having some...interesting boy problems. I'm sorry that this story seems so...soap opera-esque at the moment, but I promise it's going to get better very soon! I swear, I'm going to stop letting my own melodramatic life influence this story and get back to the significantly better stuff I was writing before. I promise! Oh, and as long as I'm being so truthful...I don't have a beta. I never have. This story is completely ME with no outsideinfluences except the suggestions of my readers. So review! The story's direction could easily be swayed by YOU!

Dancer8428 -- Well, Snape did put in a bit of an appearance in this chapter... Don't worry, next chapter has a bit of good Snape-ness in it. Or well, i think it does, lol! Hopefully you'll agree with me!

Electra de Lioncourt -- Thanks for the props! Lol, I'm going to TRY to write the Department of Mysteries and Spinner's end chapters. Unfortunately I can't attempt to do so until I have my anootated/highlighted copies of the books with me again, and I (being the brilliant mind that I am) left them at School over break. This will sound really dumb, but does you're pen-name have anything to do with Anne Rice's character Lestat de Lioncourt?