A/N: GEEZE! IT'S FINALLY HERE! I nearly went NUTS because I was sick of it. I was writing and re-writing this draft SO many times, so you had better appreciate it! Yeah...I'm a little insane right now. But hey-- I was cooped up in a car for 12 hours! You'd be a little crazy too! But yeah...here's the chapter...I'm pretty proud of it, actually. I'll try and update on the next chapter as soon as I can. For now, enjoy this... thing.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of J.K. Rowling's characters in any way. so sue me. Well, don't. I'm too poor! I also don't own You've Got Mail and it's plot.
Plot: This is based on You've got Mail, a story where two cyberspace buddies (boy and girl, of course) fall in love, even when they don't know each other's names. But in real life, they are actually total enemies who can't even stand each other at all. I put some stuff right out of the movie into this, but other stuff I just added. I hope you like it.
If you were to ask Lily Evans how she was feeling, she would have to tell you that she was starving to death. She was never one for waking up in the middle of the night to hear and feel her stomach attempting to solo Beethoven's 9th Symphony in D minor, Op. 125, especially since it doesn't always sound very good when soloed or when played in the stomach, and since her stomach was doing both, this was no picnic. Not even the bravest soul would attempt to go back to sleep on this orchestra-wannabe stomach, and Lily Evans was no wuss.
"Shut up!" She instructed her stomach.
She wasn't too big of a fan of Beethoven, but she had her moments, especially when listening to "Ode to Joy." (Although Lily didn't know it, the symphony included "Ode to Joy.") That was such a good song that always made her smile, which was needed in this time of year, especially the way everybody was acting.
Let me back up a little.
By now it was early December, and a slight chilly attitude was settling over Hogwarts. The term was going to end soon, and students were under much more stress. There was more homework than ever and projects were due. It was very stressful with the students venting out their frustration by jinxing anything that moved or disturbed them. Filch had to clean up all the messes which was not pleasant at all, and he was very grumpy and gave out a whole lot of detentions. Madam Pomfrey had her work cut out for her, mending broken noses to swelling rear ends to glued-together fingers. The only happy people were Dumbledore and Flitwick. Flitwick taught everyone in sight a Cheering Charm to help out those who got sudden nervous breakdowns. Needless to say, the people at Hogwarts were a hysterically happy and stressed-out bunch.
Lily rolled over and glanced at the clock. It indicated that the time happened to be 2:56 a.m. She groaned, and turned over on her stomach. She punched her pillows a few times (It has been rumored many, many times that Lily Evans spent her spare time practicing boxing. Witnesses have recounted how they have either seen Lily deck some random person that was a jerk, particularly James Potter, and her friends have revealed some little bits of wisdom to us that she has her own punching bag in her room. If this were true, then Lily punching her pillows would probably be like flicking an insect in comparison. Interesting, no?), and hugged one of them close. She promptly closed her eyes again.
They shot back open as her stomach did a magnificent crescendo, into a very intense part of this 9th Symphony. She groaned again and clutched at her stomach. Lily closed her eyes again.
"GAH!" Lily shot up in her bed. "Oh, fine. You win. Stupid hungry stomach…"
Lily put on her slippers and got out of bed. As she put on her dressing gown, she noticed Maddy blinking drearily at her.
"Somebody attacking you, Lily?" She asked, yawning.
"It's called my stomach," Lily shot back irritably. She flounced out of the dorm.
When she was in the common room, she moaned and ran out of the portrait. She flew down the halls, slid down some banisters, rebuked some ghosts, laughed at some dogs, and drooled hungrily until she finally, finally, finally got to the kitchens.
"Finally!" She said, and tickled the pear. Somehow, she luckily managed to get to the kitchens without getting caught.
Lily yanked open the door and climbed inside. Some house-elves (now how on earth did they manage to stay up all day and all night?) came towards Lily and asked, "What can we do for you, miss?"
Lily replied, "Just get me some apples and a peanut butter sandwich,"
One of the elves raised his eyebrow at her. "'Tis not good to end sentences in commas, miss," he reprimanded her.
Lily sighed and continued, "and some sausages, and fried eggs, and some bread and butter, and a bacon sandwich."
They all ran off after curtseying and bowing as they searched for more food. Lily looked around and wandered the kitchens. She made conversation with some of the elves while they prepared her midnight snack. Lily was inspecting a portrait of a roasting boar when suddenly her walk was cut short as she bumped into somebody large.
"Oops!" she exclaimed, and looked up. It was James Potter. "Oh, you," she said flatly.
"Yes, me, Evans," said James without smiling. He was holding a huge armful of food, including several different flavors of chips. Lily stared at it hungrily. She had not gotten her food yet.
"No need to be so pessimistic, Potter, I was only making a statement," said Lily as she looked the other way.
James snorted. "Pessimistic? Me? Who sounded so excited to see me?"
"Obviously, I was simply saying that it was you, and not that you were some monster," Lily replied, her stomach finishing the 9th symphony. It had a grand ending, and it was fitting, seeing as Lily's food was finished and prepared for her to tackle.
"Always lovely to know that I'm a monster," said James conversationally. He popped a chip into his mouth and dipped his finger into some ranch dressing.
"Not that you aren't a monster," said Lily, taking a sausage for herself, "just not literally."
James rolled his eyes. "Oh, Evans, I can't tell you how much I appreciate your insults. I can always count on you to put me down."
"Right back at you, Potter!" Lily ate another sausage. While she reached for her third, she accidentally flicked some ranch dressing on him. "Whoops," she said nonchalantly as she watched the dressing fall onto his glasses.
"I'd get back at you, but I'm too nice and too tired," said James as he wiped off his glasses.
Lily snorted and tossed some more dressing. It landed in his hair and dribbled down to his ear. James frowned.
"Not funny, Evans," he reprimanded. "I'm too tired for funny things."
"Since you're obviously the king of funny," said Lily, rolling her eyes, "I suppose that I'm just absolutely the worst of all." She dipped her sausage into his remaining dressing and slowly ate it in front of him, chomping noisily and showing all of the debris in her mouth. "Mmm….." she said loudly.
"You are cruel," he said angrily. "I'm in no mood to be tested." He snatched one of her sausages and popped it into his mouth.
Lily studied him as she took some chips from his pile. She popped them into her mouth, and said while her mouth was full, "It's amazing that I haven't murdered you after all these years."
"And I," said James, leaning back in his spot, "am amazed that I actually liked a monster like you."
Lily choked and snorted some of her chips.
"Wha – wha – I'm a monster?" she coughed out.
"You're the biggest jerk I know, Evans." He glared at her as he crunched on an apple.
"I am not. I am not!" She snapped. Her smile faded. "Maybe a jerk to you."
"Not just to me, you know," he said angrily, "you're a jerk to some people, and you can be so fake. The way you ooze with sweetness makes me sick. I have the urge to slap you, and everything you do is obnoxious!"
"I am not a jerk!" She spat out. "Okay? I can't believe you! Like you're any better. You hex anybody who moves – "
" – and we already went over this in fifth year, Evans," James said over her. "You don't need to remind me of how big of a jerk I was."
"And yet here you are, telling me how big of a jerk I am. I am not a jerk, James Potter, and you know that!" Her fists started to hurt from being clenched so hard for so long.
"I just thought I'd give you a taste of your own medicine, Evans," James said, starting to yell, "because you know what? You're not perfect, like you think you are!"
"I don't think I'm perfect, because if I did, then I would be so much worse than I apparently am – "
" – Evans, let's get it straight. You are not REAL. You are made of rubber and plastic and porcelain!" He snapped. "You may look like the perfect person on the outside – "
"Stop it, Potter. I am not perfect."
" – the ideal that everybody loves – "
"Potter. Stop. Talking. Now. You have no heart."
" – the one who sticks up for others, but maybe if you bleeding got over yourself then you'd realize that even the so-called JERKS you label actually have feelings."
By now Lily felt and knew she looked livid and ready to slap. She forgot her hunger, and pretty much everything. She knew that James would never hurt her physically, but right now he was just being brutal.
His voice lowered dangerously, so low that his voice was practically unheard. "But since you're so bloody plastic, you wouldn't realize that."
"STOP!"
There was a silence. The elves looked frightened at what would happen next, and stood cowering in the corner. Lily stood up, and said in a shaking voice, "And have you, Potter, ever felt plastic as hard as this?" And with an almighty swing, she punched him in the face.
His mouth didn't begin to bleed as her fist made contact, but it made a tad bit of a crunch. He retorted, "And here, I rest my case." He stood up and towered over her. For a moment, Lily thought that he was going to slap her. But instead, he stepped almost gentlemanly-like aside, picked up the rest of his food, apologized to the elves ("sorry about the mess") and strode out of the room in a huff.
Lily sank to the floor. Although she was not the one who had been socked, although she was not the one who had thrown the most insults, and although she had every excuse in the world to feel somewhat triumphant for that deck she packed, she felt sick.
If you were to ask Lily Evans how she was feeling, she would probably throw up on you and moan and groan and agonize and prefer the feeling of listening to Beethoven's Ninth. Or better yet, perhaps In the Hall of the Mountain King. Because Lily was in that hall, and the King had smacked her a good one.
The next morning, Lily called for Joey, who came immediately. She snatched a quill and some parchment and wrote,
Help. I need help. Badly. Urgently. Would you still like to meet? -Irish
She sent it off. About 10 minutes later, to her delight, she got a letter back again with the words,
Yes! Immediately. When? Where? -Stag
A/N: So there you have a huge fight between Lily and James. James unleashes his built-in anger and Lily gets pissed about that. Of course, who wouldn't? Anyways, I'm just so glad that's over with. I can't wait for the next chapter, in fact, because I know exactly what I'm going to do for it! squee Auf wiedersehen!
Jade
