A/N:

Ri-chan-san is what Natsuki Takaya calls Ritsu… and Kiisaa is something I made up.

Sorry for not updating in AGES.

You all hate me now, don't you?

But, wait! You don't know the secret of Ri-chan-san yet!

Ri-chan-san stood at the table, short, brown hair flowing casually across broad, feminine shoulders. Sipping coffee and reading the newspaper wasn't exactly something every woman did in the morning, especially gangsta's.

Right.

Ri-chan-san, a young, pretty, 27 year old woman with gangsta heritage. Never saying sorry. Never caring what anyone thought. Of course, this was mainly an act. Ri-chan-san told everyone she was male, when she was really a, well, girl. She dressed as a gangsta and talked like one too, to hide the fact of her sex.

"Ah, ya bloody mongrels!" She screamed at the news paper, flicking it away and sloshing her coffee everywhere. "Fluck!"

Bending down to wipe the coffee away with her gangsta-like sleeve, Ri-chan-san didn't hear the knock at the door. She wasn't expecting any visitors anyway.

.xxx.

Kiisaa, Heero's girlfriend, was a tall, confident woman of 12 years old. Her crimson coloured hair was long and in a loosely tied plat stretching down her thin back and lightly rubbing across her bottom.

Kiisaa's mother had ordered her to go to Ri-chan-san's house to instruct 'him' to go with her to assist with the invasion. And so, there Kiisaa stood, in the cold, on the door step of some retarded monkey gangsta.

.xxx.

"What, what, what!" Ri-chan-san bellowed at the front door, opening it. She had finally realized it was being knocked on when she realized the banging sound wasn't all in yher head from the drugs she had been taking.

"Ri-chan-san! Time to go and meet our twins! And hurry, would you! I haven't got all day!"

"Ah, cram ya pole 'ole, ya annoying little bi-atch!"

Kiisaa was offended. So she walked off to the hole in the universe and forgot about her cousin. She was sure 'he' would find 'his' way.

(A/N: Okay, so to make all this easier… I will be calling Ri-chan-san he and she. Remember; Ri-chan-san really is a GIRL!)

It's not like Kiisaa cared, right?

.xxx.

Tooru happened to helping with breakfast. Tohru had practically begged her.

"Please! I really need some help!"

Okay, so it was her who had convinced Tooru to help. It was more like Kyo and Yuki.

"You better do it! You're working her into a god damn stress!"

"Please Miss… Honder… she is very stressed out right now…"

"DO IT OR I WILL KNOCK YA HEAD OF YA DAMN SHOULDERS!"

"I would appreciate it…"

So maybe it wasn't them either. No one will ever know. Maybe she was softening up? Oh, who knows? Kyo coughed as Tooru bought out the food she had cooked.

"Dun dunna dun!" Tooru chimed as she placed the plate in front of him. He stared at her. Yuki did also, as she had cooked his breakfast.

"You didn't… ya know… poison this, did you?" Yuki asked cautiously. It only just occurred to him that the reason Tooru had decided to cook his and Kyo's food was to poison them.

"Moron, Tohru was watchin' me the whole damn time!" Tooru grunted through gritted teeth. She stomped away to the kitchen.

"Stupid people!" She said, slamming her fist to the table. "I hate 'em!"

Tohru looked up and smiled softly. "There, there. They really are nice!"

"Ha!" Tooru scoffed, before walking off to some random place. Tohru shook her head before serving everyone else's food. When would she learn?

.xxx.

"Kisa? Is that her name?"

Ayarmee nodded slowly and waved his hand around dramatically. "Such a pretty name too! Oh! So true!"

Kiisaa eyed her cousin watchfully and walked off to the house Ayame had pointed out to. She knocked on the door loudly, rapping away like the maniac she was.

"OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!" She screamed, in the face of poor little Kisa, who had already opened the door. Kisa wiped the spit from her face.

"H… Hello…" She muttered softly, eyes wavering from Kiisaa's face to the ground at her feet. Kiisaa found this very annoying and snapped at the girl.

"Look at me!" She hollered, "Look! Look, now!"

Kisa's head snapped up at brown eyes met blue ones. Golden hair met crimson. Kiisaa wasn't happy.

"Stop staring at me!"

"…Uh…"

Kiisaa stopped mid sentence. If she was going to do anything, she would have to be moderately nice. She grabbed her sisters hand and yanked her across the pebbled paths of Sohma Estate and towards the docks, for some ice cream. They would talk there.

"Oooh Look!" Ayame wrenched with joy. "JOY!"

"…" Ayarmee rolled his eyes as his brother started to hyperventilate.

.xxx.

Ri-chan-san strolled casually inside the hot springs were his brother was currently residing. He knew this because Ayarmee had told him; Kiisaa told him to find Ayarmee and Akito had told Kiisaa to tell Ri-chan-san. So, all in all, it was a crazy, mixed up cycle of idiocy.

"Yo, waddup mah homme dawg! Noice ta see yer finalee! Dayame!"

Ritsu looked timidly up at a strange looking man in front of him. Ritsu, naturally being, well, Ritsu… apologized.

"I'm… I'm sorry!"

"Nah, zall roight, mah homme! Zall roight!"

Ritsu stared. Who was this crazy… man?

"I'm sorry but… who are you?"

"I'm yo brotherin! Ri-chan-san's da name, dawg!"

"…I… I am Ritsu… I'm sorry to make your acquaintance" Ritsu stuttered softly as Ri-chan-san enveloped him in a bear hug. Well… a monkey hug.

"Maybe I shood tells ya da twooth of ya…" Ri-chan-san said softly. "I ish the girly one!"

Ritsu shot up. "I'm not a girl! I'm a boy!"

Ri-chan-san then pulled Ritsu through some flowers and ran up to him slow motion.

In his mind, that is.

A/N:

Look, I know for a god damn fact this chapter was all over the damn place.

Which is why I must curse thy story.

BUT! Next chapter is the...END END END.

Understood?