Part 16 – Too Little, Too Late
May woke up the next morning, and immediately panicked. This wasn't her room! Where was she?
There was complete darkness and all she could see were shadows and shapes. She moved slightly, and felt a warm body pressed up against her side. And then she remembered – she was in Lex's room, in Lex's bed. Her breathing slowed and her heart rate became less erratic as she calmed down.
May looked at Lex – a very naked Lex – whose head was resting just above her shoulder, an arm was thrown across her abdomen. She smiled. They had had a great night – a long, passionate night that she didn't have to answer to, or make excuses for. She felt so much better now, and she knew Lex didn't expect anything more from her – but knew that if she wanted more, or if indeed he wanted more, it was okay to come back.
"Lex. Lex…" May whispered, nudging him.
Lex snapped his eyes open and then closed them immediately. Then he slowly opened them. "Yeah… yeah, I'm awake," he yawned. He stretched and moved his hand from her stomach… up… up. He laughed. "I am very awake," he said, as he ran his hand over her breasts.
"Uh huh. None of that. I have to get back to my room," May said in a teasing tone.
Lex sighed. "Too bad… You know, last night was good. You were the last person I ever thought would make me feel better – but you did. Maybe—maybe we could do this again sometime? If you ever need someone again…"
May smiled. "I probably will. And I'm glad you will too." She leaned down and kissed him quickly. "Now can I borrow a shirt real quick and run back to my room before anyone gets up? I'll give it back later."
Lex stretched again, the sheets falling to rest low on his hips, just barely leaving him with some propriety. "Yeah sure. Grab something out of the closet."
May grinned. "Thank you!" She shot up out of the bed, and immediately felt a wash of freezing cold air hit her naked body. She quickly opened the closet and took out the nearest thing, a black shirt with a red design on it. As she did up the buttons she saw Lex watching appreciatively.
"Liked you better the other way."
"Too bad," May quipped, mirroring Lex's own words. She went and gathered up her clothes. She headed for the door once she had everything and shot him a smile. "Thanks."
"Come back any time," Lex said in a suave tone.
"All right Casanova. I'll see you later," May laughed, leaving the room.
She shut the door behind her and quickly headed across the mall to her own room. She didn't even see someone slowly walk up the steps and stop to look at her.
"Good morning May."
May looked up, startled. "Alice. Hi. You're up early."
"Yeah, I just came in from the farm," Alice said, surveying her scantily clad body with suspicion and derision. "What have you been up to May?"
May bristled at her judgmental tone, and shot her a catty look. "Nothing that concerns you."
"You seem to be wearing a shirt a few sizes too big. Doesn't even look like it belongs to you," Alice said, her tone icy.
"Your point being?"
"It looks like you were doing a little more than sleeping last night."
"I guess I'm going to have to go and catch up on my lost sleep now, won't I?" May retorted, and with that, stormed off.
Alice just stood there, her hands on her hips. She stared after the girl, a calculating look on her face. And then she glanced across the mall. She decisively headed over and stopped outside a door. After thinking about it for a moment, and quickly recalling May – May wearing a man's shirt and carrying her clothes across the mall at this time of the morning – Alice knew what to do. She opened the door in front of her to see Lex sprawled out in his bed, his eyes closed obliviously.
"Come back for more?" he said in a low tone, and then he opened his eyes languidly.
Alice slammed the door behind her. "Morning Lexy boy!"
"Alice!" Lex exclaimed, gathering the sheets – which had been loosely covering his lower half – up around his chest. "What are you doing here? I thought you were at the farm."
"I was. Guess I picked the right time to come back. I just met a little friend scurrying across the mall… half-naked, I might add," Alice stated harshly. "May, Lex? May? What were you thinking?"
"I don't know where you're talking about."
"You don't? Look at the foot of the bed Lex," Alice said, a smug look on her face.
There in the tangle of sheets at the foot of his bed were May's underwear. Lex groaned and collapsed back against the pillows. "So what Alice? You're not my keeper."
Alice placed her hands on her hips. "What about Tai-San? What about the song and dance you made making it clear to me that you loved her, you were devoted to her, you wanted only her?"
Lex snorted. "What about it? She doesn't want me Alice. That puts a damper on the relationship. I have to move on."
"What happened?"
"I just told you – she doesn't want me! Isn't that clear enough? What does it matter what happened? Tai-San and I are done for good. It wasn't meant to," Lex sighed.
"So you move on to the nearest easy girl?"
Lex scowled at her. "May is not easy. She was lonely. No one in this damned tribe has even tried to make her feel welcome. She's scared after all that's happened, and she needed someone to talk to, to be close to. I needed someone too. So we were there for each other. It's very simple, and very effective."
Alice snorted. "You're a new kind of rat, you know that Lex?"
Lex looked at Alice deadpan. "I don't care Alice. I don't care what you think of me, and I'm shocked that I ever did. I'm single. And May is good company. So why don't you leave me the hell alone and let me catch up on my sleep? I didn't get much last night."
Alice felt his words sting her, hurt her… because this was Lex. She had believed that Lex was gentleman under all the bravado – he had saved her life after all. But it he was no gentleman – he was liar who had been in the right place, at the right time, and accidentally done the right thing. This was the true Lex at his most honest. And he wasn't as likeable as she thought he was. In fact, she despised him right now, because it wasn't her that he had turned to when he'd needed someone. Even after Tai-San didn't want him, Lex still didn't want Alice. And it hurt, deep and painful.
"I guess I've really seen your worth now Lex. And it isn't very much."
"Oh give me a break!"
"No. No I won't. For all that May is, she doesn't deserve you," Alice spat. "No one does. Are you going to keep doing this? Going from one girl to the next, using them, and then forgetting about them?"
Lex sat up and looked at her squarely. He spoke firmly, his voice getting louder and angrier. "No, I'm not going to keep 'doing this'. But right now, it's all I have! And when I'm better, when I can think straight, when I can even function right… then! Then I will find someone that I love, and who actually loves me back! But until that time, back off and let me get my goddamn head together!"
Alice stepped back. "Fine Lex. Do what you want, but I'm finished with you. We're not friends anymore – if we ever were at all."
Lex shrugged indifferently and turned over in his bed. "Have it your way."
Alice simply stared at him aghast for a moment, before turning around and leaving.
Later in the afternoon, Salene and Trudy sat in Trudy's room drinking tea and talking quietly. Salene had slipped away from Ryan earlier once again, avoiding having to talk to him for the thousandth time. It was getting ridiculous. She had had to find new clothes to hide her growing stomach. A large pink shawl with beading was wrapped around her now, and it successfully hid her stomach well. But that wouldn't last long – and Trudy, she too was having problems with keeping her pregnancy a secret.
She was now experiencing morning sickness as well and could hardly eat. Meals with the tribe were becoming problematic, not to mention the fact that her own stomach was protruding enough already to arouse suspicion. Explanations were going to have to be put forward very soon, and both were dreading it. Salene knew she wouldn't able to escape Ryan once he knew, and Trudy knew she'd have even more problems. Pregnant with the child of a Chosen lieutenant. She couldn't believe she'd gotten pregnant by the enemy yet again. Only Luke wasn't the enemy, not to her – but it wouldn't be seen that way by other people.
"It's so horrible what's happened," Salene remarked, sipping her tea.
Trudy nodded. "I know. I can't get the image of that girl's face out of my head. I just can't. That could have been me. Had the Chosen caught up with me the night I escaped – that could have been me."
Salene squeezed her hand sympathetically. "But it wasn't. Be glad… So what do you think is wrong with Alice? She's been banging around the mall all morning. And she nearly punched Lex at lunch."
Trudy shrugged. "Some more drama about him and Tai-San I guess. Speaking of Lex – do you think he'll tell anyone? Because I really couldn't handle anything else right now."
Salene frowned. "I don't know. We haven't really had the chance to talk to him since he found out, have we? I suppose we should try and get him on his own and talk to him about it a bit more."
Trudy let out an aggravated sigh. "He's the last person I ever wanted knowing. We've never exactly gotten along with him. I doubt if he'll do us any favours."
Salene raised her eyebrows. "He might. We'll just have to see… In the meantime, you really need to eat. Trudy, if you don't want people finding out yet, you just have to."
"Sal, I can't take throwing it all up again half an hour later. It's just not worth it. I feel terrible as it is. For now, I think I'll stop coming to meals. Stay in my room more, and act like I did after I got back from the Chosen. People will hardly notice… most of them think I'm crazy as it is. They'll just think I've gone off on one again."
"Trudy, that'll just make Bray worry and he'll never leave you alone!" Salene insisted.
"He's got enough on his plate with Micah and the Gathering. I doubt if he'll even notice," Trudy said.
Salene shook her head. "Of course he will," she said in a strange voice. "He loves you Trudy. He cares about you. He'd do anything to make you happy, you know that."
Trudy looked at Salene, frowning. "I guess I do know that. I'm so thankful for him, he's always been there for me… and I suppose he does love me. I love him too – but I could never just leave it at a platonic love, could I? I was so stupid back then. I almost drove him right away from me. He's becoming such a good man. Such a good friend. I hate lying to him like this. I hate it."
Salene didn't say anything. Even though Trudy was just amending the fact that she and Bray shared a simple friendly love for one another, it stung Salene. She wished her obsession with Bray would go away. She wasn't even sure if it was an obsession with Bray himself anymore. She realised now it was simply the thought of someone like him – someone caring, powerful and responsible.
She wished Ryan held a stronger place in her heart but he didn't. She would be glad to let him raise their baby with her – but she knew it would be difficult to end their marriage, which was exactly what she wanted to do. It was the only thing that would make her happy. To be free to have her baby and continue her life in peace, and let Ryan be the father he wanted to be – but not her husband.
Trudy, she found herself longing for Luke in an almost painful way. For the short time they had been together she had felt whole. Completely loved and cared for. Even though she had been in constant fear with the Chosen, with Luke she had felt thoroughly safe.
She had never had that with Zoot, ever. She had merely been afraid of him. All the time she'd been with him and the Locos before she had finally escaped, she had lived her days in silent terror. He had increasingly lost touch with reality, and become a frightening shell of a human.
She had shrunk away from physical intimacy with him because one minute he was loving and passionate, the next rough, violent even, and also because she was afraid he'd realise that her body was different, that it was changing as his baby grew within her.
And Bray? Well looking back now, Trudy hadn't been happy with him, even when he'd become her knight in shining armour and taken her away from Zoot and the Locos. Even when he'd looked after her for months and months while she became more and more visibly pregnant with his brother's baby. That must have killed him inside.
Bray had been so ashamed of Zoot, he'd hated even talking much about him – and there she had been, a constant reminder day after day. Bray had merely been his responsible self and taken care of a friend in need, he hadn't loved her like he loved Danni, or Amber. And she knew now that she hadn't either. Their love now was a comfortable, almost familial love.
With Luke, Trudy felt a deep, burning and heart wrenching love. She hardly showed it, and hadn't even told Salene exactly who the father was, his name, anything – she kept it to herself. Her own private memory. He was gone now and she wanted to keep the image of him locked up in her head forever, clear and honest, so she'd have something to tell his baby about him when it was born.
Salene spoke up. "Maybe we should tell Bray. He'd understand – and he wouldn't tell anyone. Besides that he'd stop Lex from telling anyone else too."
"No Sal. You can tell Bray if you want, but I don't want him knowing about my baby yet. I couldn't face it. I was such a burden the first time around – and now what with all the insanity around here, he doesn't need anything more to worry about. And besides, I don't need him to know yet, I don't need anyone to. I'm absolutely fine – I've got you."
"I suppose. I guess I just—I don't know. Forget it. Okay, I suppose I should go start dinner. I'll bring you some safe foods – bread and some vegetables, all right? You'll have to try something."
"Okay. Thank you. And if anyone asks, I'm just tired and don't want to be bothered."
Salene nodded. "All right," she sighed, standing up. "But this won't last forever, all this hiding and secrecy. Not for either of us. We got ourselves into this Trudy, we're going to have to own up sometime."
"I know."
Lex sauntered through the mall, an obvious spring in his step. It was apparent to everyone that he was more cheerful than usual – and they were suspicious about it on account of how his mood had been since breaking up with Tai-San. They wanted to know just why he was so happy, especially at a time like this. But Lex refused to say, he simply gave those who asked an enigmatic smile, and cast May a side-long glance.
As he went to try and find KC, Tai-San crossed his path. She was dressed differently, in a beautiful, brightly coloured oriental dress. It was comprised of a tight corset that showed off her shapely hips and enhanced her bust greatly, and a long flowing skirt that trailed behind her. Lex was nothing short of gob-smacked.
"Wow. What's this for?" he asked, circling her, and eyeing her appreciatively.
Tai-San paused and raised her chin, looking at him a little coldly. "The Tribal Gathering. We thought it would be nice if I had something special to wear when I open the dance contest. Salene just adjusted the hem for me."
Lex nodded. "You look amazing. Beautiful. Really– I'm— you just look beautiful Tai-San."
"Thank you," Tai-San said, her tone almost formal. She moved around him to walk away.
Lex frowned and caught her wrist. "Are you okay? Something seems wrong."
Tai-San took her wrist from his grasp. "Wrong? What could be wrong?" she asked sarcastically.
"Seriously, what have I done now? I thought we were okay."
"There is no 'we'."
Lex looked at her darkly. "I'm aware of that Tai-San."
"I know you are. You seemed very aware of it last night too, didn't you?"
Lex let out a huge, annoyed sigh. "Alice told you."
"Yes, she did. Thankfully, she knows how to tell the truth, unlike you," Tai-San stated.
"Wait a minute! You dumped me Tai-San! You broke up with me! And now that I've moved on like you wanted me to – you're insulted?" Lex exclaimed incredulously.
"Lex, I'm just astonished by the shallow depth to which your feelings went. One moment you're proclaiming your undying love for me, the next you're welcoming May into your bed."
"So? I got over you!" Lex spat, his good mood plummeting rapidly. Was she determined to make sure he never forgot her? That he could never move on? Because she was definitely succeeding.
"Obviously. Just like I got over you – a very long time ago," Tai-San said coolly.
"Right. Then you'll have no problem with who I choose to sleep with in the future then, will you? And if you do – I'd appreciate it if you kept it yourself, you sanctimonious cow!" Lex hissed at her, and stomped off.
"Unbelievable," he muttered.
Lex decided he'd had a lucky escape. She was so damn high and mighty, judging from on high – he couldn't take that! How had he ever even considered it? Right now he could care less if he never saw her again. He'd always tried to please her by altering himself to please her self-righteous ways. Now he decided she'd inevitably just been changing him into someone who was not Lex.
Lex was bad. He knew it. He'd always known it. If he wanted to be good, he would be. It was as simple as that! Why did she think that it was just because he needed help? He liked to cheat, he liked to steal, he liked to trick people. It made him feel alive, and powerful. She wasn't going to take it away.
"Lex! Lex!"
Lex stopped on hearing someone hiss his name. He looked around and saw Trudy standing in the doorway of her room, still dressed in a skimpy nightdress. It was nice for some, Lex thought, to spend all day lounging around in bed.
"What?" he snapped, walking over to her.
"We need to talk Lex," Trudy whispered to him, her features looking strained.
Lex leaned against the doorframe and looked at her. He smiled slowly. "Talk about what?"
"You know exactly what!" Trudy hissed. "About the baby!"
"Look, I've got my own issues to deal with, without yours. You got yourself into this mess girl."
"I know I did! Don't you think I know that?" Trudy spat, her eyes wild. "It's not like I can forget that I'm pregnant you idiot! I need to know that you're not going to go and tell anyone!"
Lex shrugged. "I have no reason not to tell someone. I'm not gaining anything by keeping it a secret," he said in a teasing tone.
"You selfish—selfish…" Trudy trailed off and gripped the doorframe. It was then that Lex noticed that all colour had drained from her face. There was a sheen of sweat glistening on her neck and collarbone, and every breath she took sounded like it was choking her.
"Are you okay?" Lex asked sceptically.
"What do you think?" Trudy demanded, a fierce fury in her eyes. "Being pregnant and keeping it from the people I love the most is killing me, and now I've got to deal with you, you selfish, arrogant, egotistical creep! You're here calling the shots and telling me that you're getting nothing out of keeping my secret! Do you think I'm getting anything out of this secret? Do you? NO! Because you don't think of anyone—anyone… but yourself… I—I—can't…"
Lex watched as she seemed to wilt before his very eyes. First her shoulders dropped, then her eyes fluttered shut, then her legs fell from under her. On sheer reflex, Lex shot forward and caught her. She was a dead weight, she wasn't holding herself up at all, and Lex stumbled quickly to her bed. Her body dropped onto the mattress and he tripped slightly, landing just over her. He hurriedly lifted himself up on one hand, wondering if he'd injured her stomach in the fall.
"Trudy! Trudy!" He shook her shoulder frantically. "Trudy, wake the hell up! This isn't exactly helping to keep your secret a secret!"
Trudy murmured something, and Lex quickly shook her again. "Wake up! Come on… just wake up."
Just then Brady woke up in her cot, and began to cry shrilly.
"This just keeps getting better and better," Lex muttered to himself. "Be quiet kid! Trudy come on, wake up!"
Trudy's eyes fluttered open; they were unfocused. She lifted a trembling hand to her forehead. "Lex?" she said in a breathy voice. "Oh… I—what happened?"
"I heard Brady crying, is she— What is going on?"
Lex looked around to see Bray standing in the doorway, his expression thunderous.
"Bray?" Trudy said in a weak tone.
"Lex, I want an explanation. Now!" Bray demanded.
Lex realised how bad the situation must look – him virtually on top of Trudy's scantily clad body on her bed… He stood up quickly and looked at Trudy, wondering just how he was going to explain this. Trudy struggled into sitting position and clutched her nightdress to her chest self-consciously. Lex inwardly cringed – right, way to go, incriminate me more, he screamed in his head.
"Trudy? Are you okay?" Bray asked, going to her and pulling her to him protectively.
"Bray, I'm fine. I am." Trudy smiled, looking at Lex nervously. "I just… I haven't been getting a lot of sleep. This thing with Micah's mother and everything, it just brought memories of the Chosen back – and Brady has been keeping me up too. I guess I just fainted clear away out of exhaustion… and Lex was walking by… and—and he heard Brady crying. He saw me and he tried to wake me up."
Bray looked at Lex, disbelief and anger apparent on his face.
"It's all true!" Lex laughed thinly, swinging his arms. "Anyway! I'll be off. Take care of yourself babe. No more late nights and all!"
He headed for the door and walked away extremely quickly. He could hear Bray comforting Trudy in her room as he left. And then he heard his name called. Bray was jogging up to him, his mouth set in a thin line.
"What just happened in there Lex? Because Trudy is really the worst liar."
Lex shrugged. "She's not lying. What is there to lie about? I heard the kid screaming, I got sick of the noise, so I went in to tell her to shut the kid up – and that's when I saw her. Simple as that."
Bray crossed his arms. "Yeah, see I just don't buy it Lex. Trudy's vulnerable. As if she weren't fragile enough, but the Chosen have sent her right over the edge. And you just got dumped by Tai-San. You might be looking for an easy target. Someone who'll give very little resistance if you push enough!"
Lex scowled. "Just what are you accusing me of?"
"You know exactly what I'm accusing you of! The same thing you've tried to do twice before in this tribe!"
Lex stepped up to Bray, and glared at him head on. "I am not a rapist Bray. You are obsessed with what happened to Micah's mother, obsessed! You're seeing wrong-going where there is none! Trudy herself told you what happened. I did not try anything on with her, and that is the truth. I will say it once, and only once, before I get unpleasant. Do you understand that?"
Lex gave him once last look, before walking away, leaving Bray standing there, looking completely deflated.
That night, Micah was refusing to sleep again, so Danni had begun to walk the mall with him. Bray was on guard duty for the night, so as she rocked Micah in her arms, and walked around looking for Bray.
That day had been a busy one for Bray, and yet he was still keeping up with his duties for the tribe. Seven of the ten tribes they had invited to the Gathering had sent messengers back saying they had agreed to go. One more messenger had come, saying his tribe completely refused, and there was no word from the two other tribes.
Danni looked up as she heard a noise. "Bray?"
She could see someone standing just under the grille about ten feet from her. Since there was very meagre light in the mall, Danni had to squint. She shrugged to herself, and giggled.
"Bray? Is that you?" she asked laughingly. "Our little friend has woken up again."
Silence.
Danni's suspicions jumped to the next person who would be up at this time. "Lex? Lex, is it you? Stop messing around!" Danni exclaimed, her heart pounding. She started to unconsciously back away, without knowing why.
The figure in the darkness shuffled, and Danni frowned. Even Lex would have given up the game by now. And Bray would have stepped forward. Bray wouldn't just stand there, not speaking. This wasn't Bray.
"Who are you?" Danni asked aggressively, protectively holding Micah closer to her.
This figure moved forward slightly, but Danni still couldn't see who it was. She didn't care anymore. She quickly started to back up, looking around frantically.
"BRAY!" she called out at the top of her voice.
"Stop! Please!" the figure in the darkness hissed.
Danni halted, and felt Micah shift in her arms and make a nervous noise. Even he was aware that something was happening.
"Who are you?" Danni asked again.
The figure stepped forward. Danni could barely make them out, but she could tell whoever it was had a long black cloak and a hood over their head.
"Is this the home of the Mallrats?"
Danni blanched. Just who was this person? "I want to know who you are, right now!"
"I'm looking for someone. I heard you say his name – Bray."
Danni frowned, her heart beating even more erratically. "What do you want with Bray?" she demanded, aware that she had given everything away. This person knew they were in the right place now – but she didn't care. If some suspicious stranger was looking for Bray she wanted to know why.
"Please, I just want to speak with him. It's important. It concerns someone both he and I love very much."
Danni didn't know what to think. She was caught between a need to protect Bray and keep this person away from him, and a curious feeling, a desire to know what this was about.
Bray came running up to Danni just then, having been down in the basement. "Danni! I heard you shout! What's wrong? Is it Micah?"
"No, no it's not…" Danni's gaze fell on the stranger and Bray followed it.
"Who is that?" he asked, his tone tight and tense. He could tell from Danni's body language that she was nervous and edgy. This wasn't someone they knew.
"Are you Bray?"
For the first time, the figure's voice was louder than a whisper and Danni could now tell that it was a girl.
Bray stepped forward. "Yes, I'm Bray. Who are you? Show yourself!" he demanded.
The girl walked over to them, her long black cloak trailing behind her. She stopped before them, and slowly pushed the hood off her face. It fell back, and Danni could see long dark hair and a pale, pretty face. She had a long, graceful neck, and high cheekbones. Her eyes were focused directly on Bray, and Danni noticed that Bray was gaping back at the girl.
"Bray? Are you all right?" Danni asked, concerned.
Bray spluttered for a moment, and when he spoke, his voice was thin and choked. "Amber?"
Danni's eyes widened with utter shock and she stared at the girl. Amber? Amber, former leader of the Mallrats? Amber, Bray's old girlfriend? Amber, who was dead?
Coming soon in Part 17 – Just One Truth:
- Bray's sanity begins to crumble
- KC confronts Lex about Trudy's secret
- Lex gets a glimpse of the new visitor and has a minor breakdown
- Danni confronts Bray over his reaction to their guest
- Spike's conscience catches up with him when he realises who the City rapist / murderer is
And more…
