It ish now time for MARTH AND ROY EPISODE THREE! (does big cheesy grin) This episdode was written by Mitsuko and Sorachicken (our friend) Because Blaze (a.k.a. Tokyos burning) got lazy and didn't want to write another one...

Marth: Somebody help me...

Roy: (Hides behind Marth)

Disclaimer

Sora: (gulps down a SoBe No Fear energy drink (which we do not own) and takes a deep breath) Marth, Roy, Sora, Riku, Malon, Link, Zelda. Rabbit, Mario, Pooh Bear, Tarzan and anyone else we might havenot mentioned here but is in the story does not belong to Blaze, Mitsuko, or Sorachicken.

Riku: Yeah... we all either belong to Square Enix, Nintendo, or Disney.

Mitsuko+Sorachicken: (giggling while hiding behind door)

Sora: Huh? (looks)

Mitsu+Sorachick: (starts to chase Sora around)


Lesson Three: How To Prepare Curry

(Lights dim in, once again, to our two young heros now taking break from the battle field to prepare even more tasty goodies. The good news was that Mario was doing well in the hospital since there last, strange cooking demonstration show (that turned out ot be more focused on knocking out an isnane Mario...). The bad news was that it was time for a new show. And.. they had special guests to introduce.)

Crowd: (goes crazy)

Marth: Hello and welcome! Now it's time for another twisted episode of our cooking show!

Roy: Twisted?

Marth: Does this seem like a normal cooking show to you?

Roy: No...

Marth: Alright then. Now, for our special guests! AND THEY ARE --

Roy: Special guests? Wait... hold on.. who are they? You didn't tell me! YOU DIDN'T TELL ME!

Marth: (grins)

Roy: (teary eyed) You son of a b--

Marth: PLEASE WELCOME TODAY'S SPECIAL GUESTS, SORA AND RIKU!

Sora: (dances on stage) YAY! HI guys!

Roy: Why hello there Sora! (does cute little wave)

Sora: (waves back)

Roy+Sora: (waving at each other like idiots)

Marth: Well this is productive...

Riku: (bursts out of window) I disagree!

Everyone: OO!

Sora: So... what're you guys cooking up tonight?

Roy: GOOD QUESTION!

Marth: no it's not...

Sora+Riku: oO?

Marth: --;;

Roy: oO?

Sora+Riku: --;;

(akward five minute silence)

Crickets: (chirping)

Marth: (smashes hands down on table)

Everyone: (wakes up)

Marth: Alrighty then. Today... we are making curry.

Crowd: (goes crazy)

Marth: Yeeeeess... so, Sora, Riku, let's begin. Can you get me some vegtables?

Riku: WHAT! You morons, I thought you were gonna FEED us!

Sora: (throwing vegetables around) Hear you go darling!

Marth: Er... thanks.

Shadow: Mister Pudding Pants...

Sora: AHHH! AHHH! It's HIM! HELP ME! (jumps on Marth's head)

Marth: You little twit! I thought you were brave!

Sora: They bring in a stunt double for the scawwy parts.

Marth: OO! --;

Roy: oO? Okay then...

Riku: AUGH! I'm hungry!

Marth: WELL HELP US COOK SOMETHING!

Riku: Hmph.

Marth: Grrrrrrrrr...

Roy+Sora: Okay...

Roy: So, Sora, next for the curry, we need...

Sora: Meat!

Roy: Yes! BEEF!

Sora: Okay... (walks over twards refrigorator while Roy pulls out a big pot)

Marth+Riku: (argueing in the back)

Roy: (looks over after noticing the audience starting to laugh) Hm? HEY! You guys, can we PLEASE have a normal cooking show for once?

Marth: WELL HE'S THE FOOL WHO WOULN'T COOK!

Riku: I don't WANT to cook I want to EAT!

Marth: I SAID ON THE STUPID THING I SENT YOU THAT WE WOULD BE COOKING! IT'S A FREAGGIN COOKING SHOW FOR GOD'S SAKE!

Marth+Riku: (starts biting each other's heads off)

Roy: (backs away slowly) --;;

Sora: (sighs) (opens fridgerator door to find... HEARTLESS!)

Marth: (with soggy head) You fool. BEEF! Not Heartless! (slams door to fridge)

Sora: Beef is cow, right?

Roy: Si!

Sora: Okay. I'll be right back...

Roy: SO!

Sora: I'm back!

Everyone: OO!

Marth: Where's the beef?

Sora: (pulls rope)

Cow: (walks in)
Riku: (smacks self in face)

Marth: Wha --

Sora:

Cow: Moo.

Audience: (trying to stiffle laughs from the boy's sheer strike of stupidity)

Roy: Ah... say, um, Sora... where EXACTLY did you get that cooooooow?

Sora: Well, there was this one girl...

(Almost suddenly, the studio doors fly open, hitting the walls at such extreme that the door knobs dug into the wall and the door stayed wide opened. In between the two doors was one, angry, red-faced red-headed hylian girl...)

Sora: EEP... her...

Marth+Roy: Oooooo...

Malon: You little BASTARD! How DARE YOU TRY TO USE MY COW FOR FOOD!

Sora: O.O!

Riku: Who... is that?

Marth+Roy: (hiding under counter) Malon...

Cow: Moo.

Malon: MY BAAABY! RAAAAAAAAAWR! (lunges after Sora)

Sora: O.O! AUUUUUUUUGH!

Malon: (gets caught in mid air and roped around the feet and hands and starts getting dragged back to the door. By now the audience is dying in laughter.)

Roy+Marth+Riku+Sora: (looks up)

(Everyone looks back at the door to see Link and Zelda holding the ropes and dragging a pissed Malon back.)

Link: Heh... uh.. sorry about this... you know how she is about her cows...

Marth+Roy: (shudders)

Zelda: Hehe... uh... (spots Sora) Hey, you, boy.. can we have that cow back?

Sora: YES! YOU CAN HAVE HER!

Cow: (walks back to Malon)

Malon: MY BABY! (sits on cow) GO COW, GO! (gallops off down the hall)

Everyone: oO?

Link: (cough) Well, uh... sorry about that... (walks off)

Zelda: Wait for MEEEEEEEEEE! (runs after him)

Audience: (bursts out laughing even harder)

Roy: Is she gone?

Riku: Yeah...

Marth: (sigh) Crazy moron elves...

Roy: So let us get back to cooking! Next we need fresh vegetables!

(all of a sudden, a banana runs through the stage)

Banana: OH DEAR! OH MY! PLEASE HELP!

Sora: (laughs) Here we go again.

Marth: What the shell is happening?

Tarzan: (bursts through wall) BANANA! There you are! RAWR! (chases banana)

Banana: AHHH! HELP!

Sora: Oh no. After Tarzan comes Pooh Bear! HEY! That reminds me! That gay bunny dude has a garden! I'll steal vegetables from him!

Marth: NO WAIT! WE HAVE SOME IN THE---

Sora: (already gone)

Marth: fridge... --

Riku: (watches as Tarzan, the bananna, and now Pooh who has just burst through the ceiling on his baloon of impending doom floats down with an evil laugh) Oh God... here we go...

Roy: (gets real close to Marth) Remind me why EXACTLY we invited non-Nintendo related guests!

Marth: Er... uh, Riku, how do we make it go away?

Riku: (laughs)

Marth+Roy: Uhhhhh...

(Almost suddenly, as if to get the show into even more trouble, an insane Mario still strapped onto the bed and some how up and running on his feet, foaming at the mouth, jumps through the window)

Mario: RRRAaaarrawaWWWRarrrRWRHLUYGGAHhhahayetyuRAWR! (foamy mouth)

Crowd: (screams)

Roy: OO! EEP! (hides under table)

Riku: oO? Uh... what... er...

Marth: (slaps self in face) Why? WHY!

(suddenly, the doctors in white coats and huge syringes run through the studio door, followed by a tired, freaked Luigi)

Doctor: IT'S TIME FOR YOUR MEDICINE, MARIO!

Mario: RAAAAAAAWR! RAaaaWWRArarWWWAAAARRRrrrr!

Luigi: A MAMA MIA!

Tarzan: (chasing bananna)

Mario: RRAaaaaWWaaaWWWRRRR-- eh? (sees bannana) REWWAAARR! (grabs bananna and bites it in half and eats it)

Tarzan: OO! BANNANA!

Riku+Marth+Roy: ... (disturbed)

Pooh: (running around in circles) oh bother oh bother oh bother oh bother oh bother oh bother oh bother oh bother...

Mario: (swings on the lighting up above everyone like a monkey and rips a lightbulb out of a light socket)

Pooh: OH BOTHER OH BOTHER OH BOTH—(runs into wall and is knocked out cold)

Sora: (comes through the door) I GOT SOME VEGGIES! Uh... (sees chaos)

Rabbit: (bursts through fireplace)

Marth: DOESN'T ANYONE USE THE DOOR ANYMORE!

Rabbit: THAT BOY! GIVE ME MY VEGETABLES SORA!

Sora: (sticks tongue out at rabbit)

Rabbit: MY WORD! (sees Banana in Mario's hand) Ah don't mind if I do. (takes remains of Banana and eats it)

Mario+Tarzan: (eyes wild with rage) GAAARRR! (attacks rabbit)

Rabbit: (screams)

Mario: (lunges at Rabbit and bites him, giving Rabbit rabbies)

Rabbit: O-O! RRRRraaaaawWWWWWTaTRWEghj,sdliulyig&rygiIUYGUIGUIL! (foamy mouth)

Mario: (throws lightbulb at Tarzan and knocks him out) (screaming)

Sora: O.O! (backs up a bit disturbed and hides behind Riku)

Marth: -- (sigh) Well, this is lovely... Roy...

Roy: Yes?

Marth: Get me the shotgun...

Roy: Heh heh heh... (looks for shotgun)

(one minute later)

Roy: Can't find it, Marth!

Marth: Grrrr... WELL! BUT OF COURSE! OUR SPECIAL GUESTS ARE HERE FOR A REASON!

Sora+Riku: THAT'S RIGHT!

Roy+Marth: (throw Sora+Riku at Rabbit and Mario)

Sora: (squeals)

Riku: TT Darn you Marth and Roy... never invite me to dinner again...

Marth+Roy: (on ceiling planks)

Marth: This'll be entertaining...

Roy: YEAH! COME ON! FIGHT YOU FOOLS! (throws peanuts at fools)

Sora: (summons Keyblade and goes for Rabbit) DIE, YOU! RAWR!

Rabbit: oO? OH MY! OH MY OH MY OH MY! (starts hopping around like the idiot he is)

Riku: Hmmm.. (spots Mario swinging around like a monkey on the ceiling) Well... (looks around and finds the shotgun on top of the refrigorator) Idiots... hold on a sec... (walks off)

Sora: (chases Rabbit out of the building) Well, that's taken care of -- oh? (watches as Mario starts to swing towards Marth and Roy and laughs)

Roy: Uh.. Marth?

Marth: What?

Roy: (points at Mario who is swinging at them at a million miles per hour)

Marth: oO? Well damn... hmm... got a knife in that back pocket of yours, Roy?

Roy: No time. He's flying at us pretty fast.

Marth: Yeah, you're probably right.

Roy: Yeah...

Marth: ... WAIT! If there's enough time to go on talking like this, how come there isn't enough time to get out a knife?

Roy: Because this is a PG skit and we're not supposed to get violent on this show. Otherwise, we're cancelled.

Marth: Ah. I see now. By the way, nice shirt.

Roy: Thanks. My Granny made it.

Sora: (watching them) This, a PG show? They're kidding, right? Wait.. HEY! WHAT ARE YOU IDIOTS DOING? HE'S COMING! WHERE'S RIKU?

(meanwhile, somewhere in the studio...)

Riku: Hey... can I use a couple tranquilizing darts there?

Dude in white coat: What for?

Riku: Mario, that insane itallian plumber...

Dude in white coat: Oh, well, sure! Here...

(back in the show room)

Marth: (kicking a rabies infested Mario back) BACK! BACK, YOU!

Mario: RRRRRRRRRRRAaaaaaaaaaadghwuitTUIEKMfchjvyrI&RIQTUY! (foams)

Roy: I wonder what he's saying…..

Marth: Oh, about that... he's actually cussing, but they use random words instead because it's...

Roy: Ah... the PG thing again. Wait. Didn't you just swear a few lines ago?

Marth: Hmmm... I hope the critics will let that slip.
Roy: Whatever...

Sora: Ooooo... looky that, Mario's going in for them again... (spots Riku running through the door) Where in God's name have you been?

Riku: (grins) (shows him darts)

Sora: Oooooooooo...

Riku: (loads gun and aims) Ok... ready.. aim... FIRE!

an insane mario starts to calm down...

Mario: A... a... ma...ma... mi... aaaaaaaaaaaaa... (falls and hits the floor)

Dudes in white jackets: HUT HUT HUT HUT! (picks Mario up and straps him to stretcher)

Marth: WELL... AH HAHA! Today's show has been very productive, but now it's time to go! (starts shoving Sora and Riku out door)

Riku: HEY! I'M STILL HUNGRY!

Sora: Yeah! We do all this work for you, and we don't get any food!

Roy: Ta-ta! (small waves at Sora+Riku)

Sora: (waves back)

Riku: What? WHAAAAAAAAT?

Marth+Roy: (sees people of the audience being rushed to the hospital) AHAHAHAHA... (starts pushing Sora+Riku out even harder)

Roy: B... BYE!

Sora: BYE!

Riku: You guys SUCK!

Marth+Roy: (closes doors)

Marth: Well, uh, this has been another episode of Marth and Roy's cooking show... without the cooking... how bad is the death toll this time, Roy?

Roy: (nervous) Well... uh... oh man...

Marth: GOOD NIGHT, FOLKS! (runs off to help medics)


WOO HOO! That was episode three! I have no idea who will appear next time, so it'll be a surprise! YAY!

Sorachicken: (Does funky chicken dance)

See ya next time! Read and review!