After Rose figures it out, it gets easier. She helps cover for him. Jake no longer has to worry about destroying every piece of security footage that might show something suspect without drawing attention to himself or the disappearance of said footage. Rose has the clearance to review the tapes whenever she wishes. She can look for the evidence he fears might be there and confirm its presence or absence before the pattern of accidents becomes apparent. She also uses her granted authority as an excuse to 'take him under her wing'. The Huntsclan elders are aware of how well they get along. They are undoubtedly aware of their budding relationship. But because they work so well together, because they get results, it is allowed instead of forbidden. Their partnership benefits their work; it is not a detriment.
He and Rose are both aware that a hard choice might come, that they will have to choose the Huntsclan before each other.
Until Jake realized what was happening to him, he had always thought they would make the right choice.
Now, he knows they won't.
They can't.
They have already put his secret above the Huntsclan, put his life above the rest. Not because they fear that this thing within him will change him, that its deadly nature will overcome his nurture, but because they don't know why it is within him in the first place. They don't know what this is. And it is too dangerous to ask anyone about it. The others will not take the time to understand; they will simply react.
He and Rose both know how it would end.
If he is revealed, he will be slain.
Quite likely, because of their relationship, Rose will be the one expected to do it.
If she so much as hesitates, she would be replaced by countless others, and that would be so much worse. Others would want to see him suffer. Others would think this curse his fault. Others would not be as kind as Rose, and if he fought them, it would simply be seen as proof that he is what they thought him to be.
Rose could make the end quick and painless, but hated as this truth is, Jake isn't ready to give up. If it comes to it, he can't promise he won't fight. Won't try to survive. Rose knows this. She's prepared for it.
They both know she is more skilled than he is, that she isn't Huntsgirl for nothing.
They practice the usual manoeuvres on the sanctioned training grounds, honing old skills and learning new techniques. It is only when they are away from prying eyes that they can practice everything else, that they can learn about this curse, these powers. It is only then that he can learn to control the change. Learn to fly. To flame. To become the beast he has sworn to slay.
They have read every book in the Huntslibrary about dragons, scoured every piece of lore and memorized every account. The words pale in comparison to the insight they now gain. Some of the dragon myth is just plain wrong, but most of the lore is dreadfully accurate, painfully accurate, and some of the unknowns are becoming clearer.
The shift between human and dragon, for instance, is not instantaneous, and there is the barest second of blindness as the change adjusts his vision. It is too small a time for him to notice, but Rose discovered it. She is finding as many things about him and this dragon form as he is.
Jake refuses to think of his human form as a mask—it is the dragon within that is the falsehood, whatever the true source of the vile creation—but he cannot deny the improvement of his senses, their increased acuity and range.
It makes him sick.
He doesn't want to enjoy any part of this. He doesn't want the scales on his skin to feel natural. He doesn't want to feel so proud that he has finally learned to keep a sustained flame. He doesn't want to relish the feeling of the wind under his wings or the way the world seems so much more vivid when he looks through it with dragon eyes. He needs to focus on how he can use it, not how much he likes it and how much duller the world will be when he's fixed. He must keep searching for ways to use this all against them, to suppress the stomach-turning horror of what he has become and the mere thought that he might, just for a moment, forget that it's a curse and not a boon.
His only consolation is that Rose doesn't look at him differently; she never has, even when she first found out, even when she had every reason to hate what he has become. She should have reported him. She should have slain him herself. But she didn't. She won't. She believes there is a reason for this, that they can find it.
But however much they have learned, however much they have discovered, they don't know enough. They can't determine the truth, the reason, and however many ideas they have, they get no closer to the answers they need.
Worse still, they find nothing that suggests they can reverse this…this curse. There is magic known to mask it, to hide it beneath human flesh more deeply than usual, but the intricacies of that magic aren't known to them. They aren't written where those who would use it against the dragons could discover it.
He carries a few strands of sphinx hair with him for two days straight, but when he passes out on the third day, Rose forbids him from trying that again.
Instead, she suggests they capture the American Dragon to get more information. The dragon is young, still in training, but there are reports of her going out on her own or only with her magical guardian. The task would be far from impossible, and he isn't opposed.
After all, once they have what they need, they can slay her and return to the Huntsclan to be hailed as heroes.
And, perhaps, he can finally get a cure that would douse this hidden fire within him forever.
