Chapter 5
~~~
Sorry that it took so long to update! I've been real busy with school. I've been taking a grammar course, and a spelling course!
On with the story! ~~~
"Figwit!" cried Patricia!
"Patricia!" cried Figwit! "What are you doing here?"
"Saving Frodo!" She said.
Figwit and Patricia turned to look at Frodo, who had conveniently passed out, and Aragorn, who was conveniently silent.
"We must needs take Frodo to Rivendell, or he shall surely die," she whispered.
Figwit gently took her upper arms. "Yes, and we shall. But first Patricia--" he leaned over and kissed her.
Patricia had mixed feelings. She loved Frodo, but when Figwit was kissing her, all she could think of was Figwit, who was still kissing her while she thought.
Finally Figwit pulled away. "Why do you not return my kisses?" He said sadly.
Patricia began to speak but then out of the bushes leapt Telecontar.
"Aha!" he cried! "Thou--" he pointed at Figwit. "Doth kisseth my beloved! I shall slay thee!"
Figwit drew his sword. "Not if I slay thee first," he said grimly.
Telecontar drew his sword, and the elf and the undead circled one another.
Patricia was horrified. These two men, er, elves, er, undead, er, males; were fighting over her!
"Nooooo!" she said, flinging herself in front of Figwit.
She screamed as Figiwit's blade and Telecontar's blade pierced her chest.
Frodo woke up and screamed. Patricia was dead.
~~~
Aragorn gazed at Patricia. "She has died." he said.
Frodo, Telecontar, and Figwit wept.
"I killed her," moaned Figwit.
"No, I did." sobbed Telecontar.
"No, we both did!" they burst into tears anew.
Frodo pointed at Telecontar. "Who_Is_That."
But they ignored him, too busy weeping over the very dead Patricia.
Suddenly a bright flash of light appeared!
Suddenly it disappeared!
In its place stood a....deer?
"Patricia saved my life yesterday." the deer said. "Aragorn would have killed me if she had not drawn the saber tooth tiger to him instead of me."
"I ATE SABERTOOTH TIGER?!" Frodo cried.
Ignoring Frodo, the deer continued. "I shall give unto Patricia my life."
The deer closed its eyes, and there was a brilliant flash of light. The deer feel to the ground, dead. Patricia sat up, alive.
Everyone stared.
"You're alive!" They cried.
"Yes!" she said joyfully.
Telecontar pointed his sword at Figwit. "Now, where were we?"
Figwit waved him away. "Never mind. You can have her."
Telecontar dropped his sword in shock. "What?"
"Sike!" Figwit cried, grabbing Patricia, leaping onto his horse, and riding into the sunset.
Aragorn followed suit, except with Frodo, whose face had turned green and slimy.
"To Rivendell, Aragorn!" cried Figwit.
Far in the distance they could Telecontar saying "I'll Get you Figwit!!!"
Figwit laughed and spurned on his horse.
~~~
Frodo could see very little. But what he could see disturbed him.
Patricia loved Figwit. But she said that she loved him. What could Frodo do to get Patricia to love him even though he was shorter, had hairy feet and a mullet?
And whatever would he do when they got to Rivendell and met Legolas?
~~~
All these questions will be answered next time!! Please review, constructive criticism, flames, whatever.
Thanks!!
~~~
Sorry that it took so long to update! I've been real busy with school. I've been taking a grammar course, and a spelling course!
On with the story! ~~~
"Figwit!" cried Patricia!
"Patricia!" cried Figwit! "What are you doing here?"
"Saving Frodo!" She said.
Figwit and Patricia turned to look at Frodo, who had conveniently passed out, and Aragorn, who was conveniently silent.
"We must needs take Frodo to Rivendell, or he shall surely die," she whispered.
Figwit gently took her upper arms. "Yes, and we shall. But first Patricia--" he leaned over and kissed her.
Patricia had mixed feelings. She loved Frodo, but when Figwit was kissing her, all she could think of was Figwit, who was still kissing her while she thought.
Finally Figwit pulled away. "Why do you not return my kisses?" He said sadly.
Patricia began to speak but then out of the bushes leapt Telecontar.
"Aha!" he cried! "Thou--" he pointed at Figwit. "Doth kisseth my beloved! I shall slay thee!"
Figwit drew his sword. "Not if I slay thee first," he said grimly.
Telecontar drew his sword, and the elf and the undead circled one another.
Patricia was horrified. These two men, er, elves, er, undead, er, males; were fighting over her!
"Nooooo!" she said, flinging herself in front of Figwit.
She screamed as Figiwit's blade and Telecontar's blade pierced her chest.
Frodo woke up and screamed. Patricia was dead.
~~~
Aragorn gazed at Patricia. "She has died." he said.
Frodo, Telecontar, and Figwit wept.
"I killed her," moaned Figwit.
"No, I did." sobbed Telecontar.
"No, we both did!" they burst into tears anew.
Frodo pointed at Telecontar. "Who_Is_That."
But they ignored him, too busy weeping over the very dead Patricia.
Suddenly a bright flash of light appeared!
Suddenly it disappeared!
In its place stood a....deer?
"Patricia saved my life yesterday." the deer said. "Aragorn would have killed me if she had not drawn the saber tooth tiger to him instead of me."
"I ATE SABERTOOTH TIGER?!" Frodo cried.
Ignoring Frodo, the deer continued. "I shall give unto Patricia my life."
The deer closed its eyes, and there was a brilliant flash of light. The deer feel to the ground, dead. Patricia sat up, alive.
Everyone stared.
"You're alive!" They cried.
"Yes!" she said joyfully.
Telecontar pointed his sword at Figwit. "Now, where were we?"
Figwit waved him away. "Never mind. You can have her."
Telecontar dropped his sword in shock. "What?"
"Sike!" Figwit cried, grabbing Patricia, leaping onto his horse, and riding into the sunset.
Aragorn followed suit, except with Frodo, whose face had turned green and slimy.
"To Rivendell, Aragorn!" cried Figwit.
Far in the distance they could Telecontar saying "I'll Get you Figwit!!!"
Figwit laughed and spurned on his horse.
~~~
Frodo could see very little. But what he could see disturbed him.
Patricia loved Figwit. But she said that she loved him. What could Frodo do to get Patricia to love him even though he was shorter, had hairy feet and a mullet?
And whatever would he do when they got to Rivendell and met Legolas?
~~~
All these questions will be answered next time!! Please review, constructive criticism, flames, whatever.
Thanks!!
