Chapter 4 - Confessions

The silence continued on the park bench for five full minutes. They were still holding hands. Finally, Clark decided to start the ball rolling: "How did you realize that Jason is my son?"

Lois gave him a brief sketch of the piano incident, and then had a question of her own. "When did we make love? I mean, I assume that we did, unless you have a previously unknown power of just making random women pregnant. Why don't I remember it?"

Clark shifted a bit nervously on the bench. This was going to be awkward and difficult. "It was not too long before I left. You figured out who I was, and then you told me you loved me."

She blushed to the roots of her hair and started to speak, but Clark motioned for her to let him finish.

"And since I love you, too" – he deliberately phrased this in the present tense – "making love just sort of … happened. But later you were so distraught about us, about how we would make this work with me flying off into the night to rescue people, and not being able to tell anyone who I am, that my heart was just breaking for you. You were in so much pain, and you had me convinced, too, that it wouldn't work. I impulsively decided to erase your memory. It was the wrong choice, but it was done, and I couldn't change it. That was the reason I left. Yes, I wanted to look for Krypton, but mainly it was just because I just couldn't handle looking at you every day." He was looking at the ground, but he could feel her eyes on him. Lois touched his cheek and Clark looked at her.

"You love me," she stated. It wasn't a question. He nodded.

"I love you, too," she whispered.

"Me, or Superman?"

Lois jumped a little in her seat. She hadn't expected the question. "Um, well …"

Seeing that she didn't know how to answer, Clark went on. "That day you told me you loved me, I was too thrilled to think of that question. But later I remembered how you always ignored me at work, and I realized that maybe it was just the idea of Superman that you were in love with. Lois, it is important that you understand this: Clark Kent is who I am. Superman is what I do."

Lois had recovered by this point. "I admit that when Superman is around, it is hard to concentrate on anything else. That is why you didn't get much of my attention, because I always had Superman on the brain. But please believe me that, had Superman never existed, you would have captivated me with your intelligence, your kindness and your gentle nature. I know that one day I would have woken up to the fact that I loved you. So I am being absolutely truthful when I say this: I love you, Clark Kent."

Neither one was sure who had started the kiss, suddenly it was just happening. They were standing and holding each other so tightly that he had to be very careful not to crush her. They finally broke the connection, struggling for breath. Lois leaned against his chest, her head tucked under his chin, and she listened to his heartbeat.

"Let's walk a bit," Clark said, "while we discuss what to do next." He took her hand and pulled her away from the bench.

Lois looked up at him as they walked. "I am a complete jumble right now," she said. "Can you just give me an idea of what you want to happen?"

"I have two wishes," Clark said. "First, I want a relationship with Jason, and I want it as Clark, not Superman." Lois nodded as Clark continued, "And the second wish is really up to you … I want you. I love you. I want to wake up with you and go to sleep with you and every thing in between. I want the three of us to be a family."

Tears flowed silently down Lois's cheeks. Clark's heart skipped a beat. Was she crying because she agreed or because she didn't? It felt like his entire life was hanging on a thread, waiting for her response. The silence stretched out to what felt like eternity. Finally she spoke.

"I want that too," Lois said. Clark felt like jumping up and down and shouting for joy. "It is impossible for me to go on pretending to Richard that he is the love of my life, even if wanted to, which I don't. And now that I know he isn't Jason's father, he has to be told that, too. I know he will get over losing me, but I am really worried about how he will react to losing Jason. He believes I was in love with Superman, so if I told him that Superman was Jason's father, some part of him wouldn't be too surprised. But I have to tell him that Clark Kent is Jason's father. Richard is going to be completely stunned and very hurt."

Clark sighed. "I admit that I don't have any wisdom to offer on this one, Lois. I don't know how to handle it either. But for right now, let's head back to the Planet and get on with our work. We probably should just take today to think about all of this. But at least now we know what direction we are headed in."

He leaned over and gave her a brief, gentle kiss, holding her chin with one hand and caressing her hair with the other. Lois's heart felt like it was going to jump through her throat. She smiled up at him.

"Ok. Let's go."

--The End--