A/N: This is total semi-fluff-tastic, crappy Crack!fic. So if you hate it, I don't blame you. But there ya go. McKay/Cadman.
Sunlight streamed through the windows of the room, breaking up by the time they fell on the bed. Reduced to pieces, they were angled shards casting warmth on various parts of the bed. A man and a woman lay sleeping, the woman's head lying on the man's chest. A slight groan. Followed by slight stretching. The man cracked one eye open and surveyed his surroundings. The woman murmured in her sleep. Then, both eyes opened, and with a soft, satisfied smile, he tried to be still for her sake.
Which is why the twitch took him completely by surprise.
The twitch had seldom happened. In fact, he couldn't remember the last time his nose twitched. But the twitch was never wrong. No, the twitch defied all laws of probability. The twitch…was always right.
He sat up in bed suddenly, surprised. He moved his head slowly from side to side, trying to find the offending scent again.
He succeeded.
He followed the smell all the way to its owner, and then leapt in shock, trying to exit the bed as quickly as he could. He managed to do so, tripping over the sheets clumsily, before he fell to the ground. He quickly sprang back up onto his feet.
By then, he had awoken the other occupant of his bed, who looked tired and cranky from being waken and from lack of coffee.
She sat up. "Rodney, what the hell is wrong with you?"
He pointed a finger accusingly.
"You're trying to kill me!"
She flopped lazily back down onto the bed, groaning. "I can't believe this," she murmured. After she sat up again and brushed her hair out of her eyes, she said slowly, "Rodney…I am not trying to kill you."
"The twitch! The twitch is never wrong!"
"What twitch? You mean the twitch that's telling you you're being psychotic and stupid?"
"I smelled it! Lime. Citrus can kill me!" Realization dawned on her face and she chuckled low in her throat. She rose out of bed and began to walk towards him. He touched his lips. "After last night—I'm a dead man!" His eyes widened in horror. She merely rolled her eyes.
"The world will never realize my genius. I'm supposed to be the youngest Nobel winner. I'm supposed to get millions of dollars, a lot of attention." His eyes widened further. "I'll never see my cat again."
She rolled her eyes. "Rodney, you're getting all emotional about citrus, how you'll never win a prize, and your cat?" Her voice raised in disbelief. She continued to move towards him. Finally, she stopped and placed her hands on his shoulders. "You're insane, you know that? It is incredibly early on a Saturday right now. We could be sleeping."
"Cadman—mphrh!" His voiced protest was cut short when she pressed her lips to his harshly but incredibly briefly. "What are you doing? Is this your version of last rites or something?"
"Smell my arm."
"Cadman, I know that—what?" He paused mid-speech. She begrudgingly repeated herself.
"Smell. My. Arm." She raised her arm. He leaned down a little. "Is that setting off your nose twitch thing?"
His eyes narrowed in suspicion. "A little."
"You know why you smell lime?" He said nothing. "Perhaps it may have something to do with the body wash that is currently taking residence in your shower right now that is labeled with that offending citrus-y name and smell." Her finger pointed accusingly. He said nothing. "For a genius who's supposed to get a Nobel prize, you're incredibly oblivious." She trudged towards the bed and flopped down on it with a sigh. She turned over to one side, then to the other, restlessly. She sighed again.
"Great. Now I can't get back to sleep."
He headed back towards the bed, settling almost on top of her. His lips trailed a path down her neck, and she heaved a soft sigh. "Well," he murmured against her skin, "I've thought of something else we could do." He nipped at the skin where her neck and shoulder met. She grinned.
"Are you sure?" she said, feigning concern. "Isn't my skin toxic to you what with the lime and all?"
"Well," he said, raising his eyebrows. "I'm willing to take a walk on the wild side."
She laughed, before he captured her lips with his again.
