Chapter 15

Sara tapped her pencil impatiently while she waited for the last sheet of paper to print out.

"Hey, I heard you were still here," Warrick called out behind her.

Unable to control her reflexes she stiffened, and gripped the pencil tightly in her hand. She closed her eyes, and forced herself to relax. Plastering her most sincere fake smile on her face she turned around to face her friend, "Hey. Yeah, just doing some research," she explained holding up the papers.

Warrick saw through her act, but chose not to call her on it, "What did you find?"

Sara could see the concern in her colleague's face, leaving her to wonder what she hated more, her lack of control over her own body and mind, or the change in the way everyone viewed her. 'Suck it up Sidle, you're trying to focus on your job. That's the one thing Kelly James did not take from you.' She admonished herself, and began to answer Warrick's question, "Todd Coombs has four living brothers, two sisters, and a brother that died in 1985."

Taking the printout from the brunette, he looked over the info, "It looks like Roger and Larry work at the same place. We'll head there first," he offered.

"It'll be faster if we split this up. You go there and I'll head over to Bailey's. I'll give Nick the info on Kevin Coombs." She reasoned, and started to stack her notes and files. She wanted to solve the case as quickly as possible, part of her thought she would feel safer if they arrested someone for Linley's rape before the sunset.

Clearing his throat, he wasn't sure how to tell Sara that her going out to interview rape suspects was a very bad idea, "Sara you shouldn't–"

"Shouldn't what?" she almost yelled at him. "Move on with my life? Try to put Kelly James behind me?"

Holding up his hands, he took a step back giving her some space, "You know that's not what I meant. At least stay with me, we'll–"

Looking back down at her notes, "I'll call Vartann." Normally she would have called Brass. She always felt safe with him, but at that moment, she needed to work with someone who hadn't been involved with her case. Turning to walk away, she stopped when she heard Warrick call her name softly.

"Sara," he would have continued, but he was at a lost for what to say to her.

Keeping her back to him, her voice was soft, sincere, and held a hint of desperation, "I'm fine Warrick. Just let me do this." Without waiting for a reply she headed for her locker.

--/--

Sara sat silently in the passenger seat as Detective Vartann parked the car. She had never completely understood the expression "butterflies in my stomach" but at that moment the concept was crystal clear. Being back to work in the office was one thing, but she decided she may have hit the field too early.

Wiping her sweating palms on her jeans, she looked over at her partner.

Vartann was watching her with concern. "Sara, are you sure you should be doing this?"

Forcing a smile, "Yeah, it's just a DNA sample right?"

The officer looked as if he wanted to say more, but Sara opened the door before he got the chance. Feeling exposed she brought her right arm down, allowing it to graze the butt of her gun, subtly making sure it was there.

Vartann walked around the squad car to stand next to Sara, "Looks like his truck," he observed looking at the residential neighborhood.

Sara followed his gaze and saw an imposing figure hunched down, searching for something in the back of a dark SUV. For an instant it looked like Kelly James, and she wanted to be sick. Taking a step back she felt a weight against her back.

'Get the hell off me!'

'No way in hell bitch.'

"Sara?" Vartann's concerned voice broke through, his hand gently resting on her back.

Taking a shaky breath, she walked forward without explanation to her partner, "Mr. Bailey Coombs?" she shouted out, her voice cracking slightly.

The man stood straight, and looked toward the voice.

Summoning every ounce of strength, her advance did not waver, "Are you Bailey Coombs?"

Vartann flanked her closely, and watched the man intently as he nodded.

"Yeah, who are you?" Coombs asked Vartann.

"Det. Vartann, this is CSI Sidle. We're here to request a DNA sample," he explained.

"You want a sample of my DNA? What for?" Bailey asked sizing up Sara.

Vartann, stepped forward an unconscious act of protection, "It's an ongoing investigation, sir -- a rape. Can't discuss it any further than that."

"Does your route include the southern highlands?" Sara asked, her fear giving way to anger over Linley's attack.

His attitude shifted to slight hostility, "No, I work this side of the 15, seven hills."

Unphased Vartann pushed on, "Were you working two nights ago?"

"You talked to my supervisor. You know I was," he answered harshly, and shifted suddenly. "Look, I heard about what happened to that lady, and I know what
you guys put Todd and Crystal through. You got something against my family?"

Sara took out a swab from her vest. She was ready to be back within the safety of the lab, and wanted the entire situation over, "You got something against cooperating?"

Without further argument Coombs opened his mouth for Sara.

--/--

Fingering a stray thread on her shirt, all Sara wanted was the safety of her apartment and a beer. Her hope of continuing her normal routine was fading fast, and she was on to plan B. Numbing her brain. She just wanted to turn it off.

Pulling up to the crime lab doors, she turned to Vartann, "Thanks for going out there with me."

He reached a hand out, but stopped himself before contacting her arm, "Anytime Sara. Call me anytime."

Resisting the urge to run for the glass doors, she walked as quickly as she could. Once inside, she took a moment to compose herself for the sake of appearances.

Swinging by her locker, she planned to grab a few things, and sneak out. She hung her vest up, and removed her holster. Feeling the weight in her palms, she placed it in her gym bag. Scanning the items her mind flashed back to Kelley James fondling all her clothing.

'You smell so good.'

Closing her eyes, she tried to make the movie in her head stop. Finally opening them again, her gaze fell on the white box sticking out of her vest. 'Great Sara. Lose the chain of custody with the evidence because you want to run away from your problems,' she scolded herself, and grabbed the swab.

--/--

Leaving DNA Sara spotted Nick turning the corner in front of her; she moved to catch up with him.

"Hey, how'd it go with brother number four?" she asked hoping her voice sounded more casual then she felt.

"Nowhere. No Kevin Coombs at the address you gave me; no forwarding address. PD's following up," he explained.

Frustration was added to her already heavy load of emotional baggage. Turning the corner, they ran into Grissom. They all stopped in their tracks, and insanely all Sara could think about was how awkward the situation must have been for Nick.

Grissom watched her. Everything he wanted to say could not be uttered in the mixed company. "Nick can you files these reports for me?" he asked offering up the brown folder in his hand.

"Sure thing," was the younger man's only reply.

Sara watching him walk down the hall as long as possible, until she was finally forced to look at the man in front of her. She was unprepared for the level of compassion in his eyes.

"I heard you went into the field?" he asked her trying not to sound judgmental. He was honestly hoping she was going to display the righteous indignation she used to, and tell him returning to field work fixed everything. He knew that would be impossible.

Clearing her throat she nodded, "Um, yeah, it was…I think…" stumbling over her words she decided she had to be honest with him. "I think I'd like to just call it a day and head home if that's ok," she blurted out quickly.

Taking a step closer to her, it pained him to see her looking so vulnerable, "Can I take you home?"

Suddenly aware of how close they were, and where they were, she glanced around. "You don't have to do that."

He leaned in, not caring what people thought. "I want to." Looking down, his guilt was evident, "I need to apologize for last week."

Sara held up her hand, "None of us were really at our best."

Grissom smiled in agreement, but it faded as her sleeve slid down slightly revealing her still healing rope burns around her wrist. Gently taking her hand he examined the wound.

She shifted uncomfortably, and glanced around once more. "They stopped itching. I was good, followed the doctor's orders. No infections," she mumbled trying not to concentrate on the feeling of his soft touch.

"Are you seeing anyone?" he asked her, looking into her eyes.

Sara blinked in confusion. 'Was she seeing anyone?' Anger flared through her confusion. He was without a doubt the most socially inept individual she had ever known. 'When the hell did he think she had time to be dating someone? Between being tied up and investigating Linley Parker's rape she had somehow found a social life?' She removed her hand from his, "Grissom, what…why…" Her anger was clearly evident, and made it impossible for her formulate a coherent question.

Grissom took a step back. He knew she was guarded when it came to her feelings, but he was unprepared for her reaction to what he thought was a reasonable question. "Sara, I'm just concerned. After what you went through–"

"–I can't do this now," she interrupted and headed for the parking lot.

He was torn between giving her space, and going after her. Looking at her retreating form his concern overrode his desire to not be yelled at.

--/--

Catching up to her at her car, he was relieved they were somewhat secluded. Being berated in front of his employees and colleagues was not on his list of things to do.

Sara was fumbling with her keys, while trying to wipe errant tears from her eyes.

"Sara," he spoke softly.

She whipped around to face him, "What the hell Grissom! Am I seeing someone? After what I went through? What the hell does that mean?"

Trying to appear unphased by her verbal attack, he swallowed, "After everything you went through you really need to talk to someone." 'There, you said it, it came out rationally, non-judgemental,' he congratulated himself. 'She's not hitting you yet.'

"So what, you thought I went out to find some stranger to talk to? Tried to pick someone up at a bar? Or is it Tucker? Are jealous of him and think we have some strange connection now?" Her volume had decreased, and she looked deflated.

It was Grissom's turn to be confused. He had absolutely no idea where her words were coming from. "Sara–"

"Because you know what Grissom. The only person I want to talk to about any of this is you," she finally blurted out leaning heavily against her car.

Taking a hesitant step closer, "I want to help you." He gently pulled her closer, but allowed her to make the final step, almost falling into his chest. "But I'm not qualified."

Her muffled laugh surprised him. She turned her head to rest it against his chest. His hand smoothed her hair back.

"But you think some guy off the street is qualified," she asked quietly.

"If you don't want to see one of the department counselors, we'll pay for whoever you're comfortable with," he explained.

Silence fell on the pair.

Sara let his words sink in. "I'm so stupid," she finally said, and out of shame pushed away from him.

Her warmth lingered against his chest, and he realized he would do anything hold her again. "Sara, you're not stupid. I'm just concerned that you get the help that you need."

Turning to unlock her car she shook her head. "No I over reacted. I thought… I thought you were asking if I was seeing someone. I can't even have a normal conversation. Grissom, I'm sorry." Her back was to him the entire time, and all she wanted to do was retreat to the safety of her apartment.

Finally everything made sense to Grissom, he hurt for her, and wanted to take away all of her pain and insecurity. "Let me drive you home?" he asked again, slowly moving around her, and taking her keys from her hands.

"Ok," she relented and closed her car door. She wasn't sure she should be driving in her current state of mind.

--/--

Walking through her door, Sara noted that her anxiety level was reduced drastically as she heard the deadbolt slide into place. That alone concerned her. She felt like a prisoner. Inhaling deeply she turned to face Grissom, "Can I get yo–"

Mid-turn she was pulled into a bear hug. Relaxing immediately she felt as if she fit perfectly in his arms. Now that there were no emotional distractions and no threat of unwanted eyes, Sara allowed herself to truly experience the moment. She had never in her life felt safer then she did at that moment. Part of her wondered if that was because never in her life had she felt more fear. Soon she was sobbing violently in his arms, allowing a week of pent up emotion out.

Grissom felt her relax, and then begin to weep. He hugged her tighter, wishing that his love for her was strong enough to erase every memory and thought Kelly James had created. He gently drew her head closer as he bent down to kiss her forehead.

Sara looked up at him. She was surprised to see tears staining his face. Reaching up to wipe them away, he took her hand, and softly kissed her wrist.

This was the comfort he had waited patiently for a week to provide. The whole time he had been researching her reactions. He read book after book, and every article, briefing, and case study on rape he could get his hands on. He understood he was an emotional complication, but the time had finally come when that connection they had was exactly what she needed, and it felt so right to him.

--/--

Catherine wasn't sure what more she could do. DNA had come back on the brothers Sara and Warrick had tracked down. Neither was a match. Vartann was busy tracking down the remaining brother.

They were going nowhere fast.

She needed to think, so she sat down at the layout table with her cleaning supplies and instruments.

Her mind drifted back to Sara. She had mixed feelings about her being back in the field, especially on a rape case. Sara needed counseling, and Catherine had a feeling no one was enforcing that.

Suddenly her cell phone rang, "Willows."

Linley's voice answered urgently, "I can't wait 72 hours for a gun. I need it today.
I need it now."

Taking a moment for Catherine to switch gears in her head, she finally realized who was talking, "Linley?"

"Hold on," came the reply as a car alarm was disarmed.

Concerned by the desperation evident in the young blonde's voice, Catherine strained to listen for any clue as to what had set her off. Loud music blaring in the background made it difficult to hear anything else. "Linley, I can barely hear you. Where are you?"

"Fremont Street. I…I know you can help me. Just...just give me a name. Tell me where to go," Linley begged.

Before the Catherine could respond, the distinct sound of broken glass echoed over the phone, followed by Linley's screams. "Linley?"

Muffled sounds were all she could hear until Linley shouted, "Stop!" Just as suddenly as it all began the connection was lost.

"Linley!" Catherine irrationally yelled into the phone, knowing the connection was dead.

Running out of the lab, she hit her speed dial buttons.

--/--

Grissom reveled in the relaxed comfort that filled the room. Sara was sipping coffee, while the two watched the latest crime drama.

"They're trying too hard," Sara commented.

"Who?" Grissom asked.

She nodded her head toward the screen, "The writers, producers, whoever. I hate sweeps week. Do you want to watch a movie?"

Before he could answer his phone rang.

She rolled her eyes, and stood to look through her movies.

"Grissom," was all he was able to get out before the person on the other line started talking.

"Slow down Catherine. What happened to L–" he stopped himself before he said her name, looking at Sara.

She instantly knew something horrible had happened to Linley Parker. Sara stood, waiting to find out, but at the same time wondering if she should lock herself in her bathroom.

Grissom watched her while he spoke, "Alright, where… Ok. I'll meet you there. Did you call Brass?"

Her eyes searched his, wanting to see that everything was going to be ok. It clearly wasn't.

"I'm on my way," he finished and closed his phone. "I'll come by and pick you up for your shift later," he explained calmly.

"Is she–" her voice faltered. "Is she ok?"

"I don't know Sara," he answered honestly. He crossed the room in two large steps to stand in front of her. He took her hand and squeezed it, "Are you going to be alright?"

She only nodded.

"Sara?" he needed more from her before he felt ok to leave her alone.

"Yeah, go. Go help her," she answered quietly.

Turning to leave, he waited until he heard the deadbolt and chain being secured.

--/--

Sara leaned her head against the door. Fear was threatening to paralyze her as her breathing increased. Her palms were sweaty, and she fought the urge to call PD to make sure Kelly James was still securely behind bars.

Slamming her hand against the door, she swore in anger. Every moment from her attack came flooding back. It played in real time in her head. She covered her ears and slid to the ground. "Stop…please."

Staring at her kitchen she knew what she needed to make it stop. Suddenly she stood, and headed for her liquor cabinet.

--/--

Catherine pushed her way through the crowd of on lookers. Seeing officers already securing the crime scene, she purposely headed for the driver's seat unsure of what she was going to find. "Where is she?" she asked after finding the vehicle empty.

"I don't know. We just rolled up," a cop replied.

Closing her eyes tightly she couldn't help but feel she had betrayed Linley. 'You don't know you failed her yet Willows. Start processing,' she scolded herself and left to grab her kit.

--/--

Grissom parked the SUV. He was glad he had decided to take it, instead of his car. It saved him a trip back to the lab for his kit.

He felt like a horrible person leaving Sara the way he had. She hadn't really opened up to him yet, but he was thrilled she wasn't running away from him, and locking herself in her bathroom.

Walking under the crime scene tape he observed Catherine taking photos of a car he recognized all too well. Moving behind her, he set his kit down, "Hey."

The blonde looked up at him, trying to control her emotions. "There's no new damage except for the window."

Focusing in on the broken window, she saw the small drop of blood, "Blood is probably from whoever broke the glass, not the victim." She was very determined to keep the investigation professional. In order to do that she needed to forget that she knew the victim. Running Sara's investigation had been one of the hardest things she had ever done, and she wasn't prepared to repeat the same trauma.

Grissom, on the other hand, was finding it easier to focus on the task at hand by putting a face to the victim. He tried to picture Linley getting into her car, her attacker breaking the glass, and him cutting his hand. Linley's screams undercut the entire thought.

As he focused on the blood drop he was taken back to the climbing gym. Sara's blood dripping onto the white sheet.

Brass suddenly broke into his thoughts, "Okay, the pawn shop owner ID'd her, she was looking to buy a gun, and she wasn't in the mood to wait."

The pieces were beginning to come into place for Catherine, "Anybody see what happened here?"

Grissom half listened to the conversation, wishing he could get away to call Sara.

"…same guy. He's getting rid of the witness," Catherine spat out getting his attention again.

"Who identified the wrong man," Brass reminded them.

"Soon as the DNA comes back, we'll know which brother it is," the older CSI added.

Exasperated Catherine looked at him, "And until then we wait?" It was becoming increasingly difficult to maintain her detachment.

--/--

Sara took another shot of vodka. He was always running away from her when they were getting close.

It was a cycle they dance around. She would open up to him, he would shoot her down, and then take it out on her. Then something terrible would happen to remind him that she even existed.

Emptying the bottle into the shot glass, she brought it to her mouth. "That cycle ends right now," she asserted, downing the fiery liquid. "Let him give the next promotion to Nick. I'm emotionally unstable now anyway," she said standing unsteadily.

Walking to the liquor cabinet she searched for something else to work on. "He can come here, hug me, kiss me…heck he can fuck me for all I care. I'm not pursuing him anymore."

Finding nothing that she wanted to drink, she opened the fridge and grabbed a beer, and headed for her bedroom. The damn room was spinning. "He can come back, we'll talk, and he'll runaway."

Laying down she placed one foot on the floor, telling herself that would keep the room stationary. "Screw it. I'm drunk, I'm not going to remember this anyway."

Putting the beer down on her nightstand she looked over at her plant. "Why do I love him?" she asked the ivy. "Because it feels right."

"I'm talking to a plant. This is much better Sidle," she mumbled as she drifted off to sleep.

TBC