Chapter 9 of Whispers and Songs here! Now with an actual Song! When the point comes that MC starts singing, I recommend you look up Woodsmoke and Oranges by Ian Tamblyn. The choir arrangement is by Rebecca Campbell, and is the version being sung.
Chapter 9: Campfire Songs
"So, was it cool to see your mom again?"
"What?" Severa gives me a look that, as per usual, I really can't begin to understand. Some weird mix of shock and suspicion, and probably a hundred other emotions I can't discern.
"That was the first time you've seen her in years, right? I'm just curious what that was like for you." I shrug. "If I'm crossing a line by asking you speak up now, we can change the subject."
The two of us are currently walking near the back of a lengthy procession of Shepherds. I've quickly realized during my time here that the marching order is far from orderly around here, making this the best time to chat with Severa outside of those days when the others are out on horseback. The line is long and unorganized, with go-getters like Frederick and Sully leading the pack at a pace few can properly follow. Meanwhile, near the back, are more casual types like Stahl and myself. The tail end of the line is always Miriel, since she tends to read while marching.
Leaving the mage alone at the back of the line strikes me as rather careless, but I've been assured that ambushes on the road are rare for a well-armed group like ours. And that the few times anything has happened Miriel still had the situational awareness to vaporize her attackers before she was in any danger.
So, I decided to take the opportunity to chat with my not-niece from the future. Severa seems to like the attention, even if she does protest it rather loudly when I bring it up. So it strikes me as good a use of my time as any. The conversation is taking a while to continue at the moment though. My question seems to have taken her off guard.
"Why do you want to know?" Severa asks with a frown.
"I dunno." I look up at the clouds, thinking on it. "I suppose… I miss my family. And I know you must feel the same. So I'm curious how it feels, meeting her again and seeing how different she is from what you remember. I've changed so much in the month and a half since I came here that I wonder if my family will even recognize me if I ever find my way back to them."
"You don't look that much different to how I remember… him." She makes a gesture that I assume is meant to indicate future me. "You don't look as worn out as he did, but you're pretty much identical."
I blink at that. Then turn to her with a sudden feeling of dread. "I look that much alike? Really? Even…" I trail off and look down at my stomach.
Severa's gaze follows my own and she winces. "Uh, yeah. Sorry…"
"Well fuck." I grimace as I gaze at my gut and feel the heavy gloom of depression settle over me. "I was hoping this would go away in time. I know there's some genuine muscle under there thanks to the training, but that's not much for consolation."
"I mean, it's not like you were ever out of shape." Severa shakes her head emphatically. "Not really. You were actually… really strong. I don't think I ever beat you once when you trained me. Even Lucina and Owain could hardly win against you."
"Huh…" I blink at that. "Okay, that's actually helpful to know. I mean, it's not like I'm destined to reach that level of skill just because he did, but this at least means the potential is there, right?"
"Uhh… I guess?" Severa shrugs, frowning. "Okay, can we change the subject please? This conversation is honestly kinda weird for me on many levels."
"Huh… yeah I can see that." I stop and reflect on things for a minute and cringe. Yes Severa, talk some more with your pseudo-uncle about his figure, nothing wrong with that! "Okay, back on topic then. You saw your mom again yesterday. Was that cool?"
"More like infuriating." Severa grumbles. "She hasn't even joined the Shepherds and she's already perfect. I kinda hoped I could be even with her now, at least."
"Instead of so stupidly strong that we literally could not process it? Yeah, I can see how that would be annoying." I nod sagely. "We have a lot of work to do to catch up to good Sir Donnel."
She lets out a pretty undignified snort at that, then gives me an accusatory glare. I try for a serene smile in response, but my face tends to default to smirk when amused, so she just gets more irritated and punches me in the kidneys.
"Oof!"
"Everything alright back there?" Sumia calls back in concern.
"I've been unjustly assaulted!"
"You know what you did!" Severa protests with enough indignation that I burst out laughing. Sumia rolls her eyes in fond exasperation and turns forward again.
My laughter dies quickly as Severa's indignant expression gives way to a much sadder one. "What's up, did I say something stupid again?"
"No, sorry." Severa looks up at me and sighs. "Just… thinking. About your question."
"Uhh… I guess things between you and your mom were complicated?"
"You could say that." Severa laughs mirthlessly. "I couldn't stand her."
"Uhh, shit. That bad?" I blink, taken aback. I remember from the games that Severa had plenty of issues with her mother's overwhelming legacy, but this seems a bit more serious than that. I'm not sensing Severa's tsundere side at all.
"Everyone always expected me to live up to her. To be as great as she was. But you saw what she was like yesterday. She's only a few years older than me and she's one of the strongest people in the whole country! I can't live up to that no matter how hard I try."
"You don't have to be as strong as she is, you know." I look down at Severa in concern as she quietly seethes. "There's no way future me never told you that, I'm not that clueless."
She grumbles at that, "Yeah, you said it plenty. But that doesn't make it any easier. Like, when mom died everyone felt it. She was so damn perfect at what she did that it left a huge hole in the army. And right around that time, I started my training, and everyone looked my way. 'If anyone can fill that gap, it's gotta be her daughter, right?' And I just… couldn't. I was average. And everyone tried to act normal about it, but I could see how disappointed they were in their eyes."
I try to think of something to say, but I've never been great with this sort of situation. So all I manage is a weak "fuck" before trailing into silence.
"I remember, you were the only one." Severa's voice hitches as she walks and she hunches her shoulders defensively. "You never expected anything of me. Which hurt, at first, but when everyone else was acting disappointed it helped. Because you were the only one who looked at what I could do and thought that was good enough."
"Huh… glad to hear I wasn't a complete screw up…" I sigh and look over at her. "You've got it rough here, huh?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I was just thinking, it's gotta suck having to deal with me here. It's like, you lost your role model and have to deal with an inferior version instead. Can't be easy."
The two of us walk in silence for a few minutes, until Severa finally replies.
"…Rfn" Unfortunately for me her reply is mumbled so quietly it's completely incomprehensible.
"What?" I turn to her in confusion.
"Nothing. Shut up. Forget it." Severa snaps, pointedly looking away from me.
I debate pressing her, but in the end figure it's better not to bother her on this one. "Consider whatever that was forgotten then." I shrug.
"… Good. Let's hurry up, the others are getting ahead of us." Severa starts to quicken her pace again, staring pointedly at the ground.
I look up ahead to the others and frown in confusion. "No… they're not. They've stopped." I look up to where the others are bunching up and break into a jog. "Something's up, let's go."
"Ben, Severa!" Sumia calls from her position with the supply wagons as we move forward. "Sully and Frederick spotted Risen! They're gathered around the river crossing up ahead!"
Ah, sounds like chapter two to me. That… took a while.
"You staying back here?" I ask Sumia, slowing as I reach her. "Wait, let me guess: Chrom wants you away from the front lines so you'll be safe."
"Yes." Sumia frowns. "It makes sense, without a mount I'm useless."
"Sounds like a load of nonsense to me, but whatever. I'd rather you not have as dangerous an induction as mine anyways." I sigh. "Alright, well I'm going ahead to see who's positioned where. Stay safe."
"You too!" Sumia calls after me as I jog forward.
"Alright, Ben's here!" Robin nods as I reach the group. "That leaves Sumia with the cart and Miriel at the back of the line.
"Way back." Sully whistles as she squints down the road behind us. "She's running, so she knows something's up, but she'll be five minutes at least. Better start without her."
"Agreed." Robin nods and turns to the rest of us, all business. "Alright, Virion, take watch on the hilltop there, prioritize the bridge unless any get close to the wagons. Donnel, you go with him, if he sees anything I need to know about you're on messenger duty.
"Frederick, take the fields to the right, Sully and Stahl, you're on the left. I don't want any of these things flanking us.
"Kellam, you're on point on the main road, along with Chrom and Vaike. I'll watch your back with magic. Severa, you're watching me. Keep me clear to cast and make sure Donnel can get to me if he has to.
"Ben, Lissa, you're on standby. Stay ahead of the carts, but close enough to provide Sumia with support if any get past our cavalry. If Lissa is needed somewhere Ben, your job is to get her there as soon as possible. When Miriel reaches us send her to me, we'll need her to clear the fortifications across the bridge. Does anyone have any questions? Good, move out!"
There's a roar of assent as the Shepherds scatter, the ground practically shaking as Frederick mounts his horse and rides off.
"He really is brilliant at this, huh?" I chuckle as Lissa and I move closer to the wagons.
"I know, right! It's crazy how fast he figures this stuff out." Lissa nods emphatically. "Like, how did he figure all that out so fast?"
"I think it's not a matter of speed so much as it is preparation." I muse, looking back towards the main group as close in on the Risen massing near the bridge. "Robin had maps out as soon as he heard about the trip yesterday. I'm guessing he checked which places would have the most complications if we ran into trouble, and made plans ahead of time for each of them."
"That would take forever though!" Lissa gasps in awe.
"Which is probably why he asked me to help him pack." I chuckle. "He knows I'm good at that sort of thing."
"You guys get along well, huh?" Lissa tilts her head in thought. "Must be because you're one of the first people he met."
"The fact that we both get strategy helps." I shrug. "I'm not nearly as good as him or Virion, but I can at least hold a conversation with him on the subject."
"You do a lot of that stuff, huh? Strategy, fighting, magic, music, art… how did you get good at so much stuff?"
I chuckle at the admiration on her face. "By not taking the time to perfect any of them. There's a saying where I come from: 'Jack of all Trades, master of none.' I have a lot of stuff that I can pick up and do well enough at, but I will never be the best at any of them. So don't go thinking I'm talented or something, it's more indecision than anything. A complete lack of commitment."
"I dunno, it still seems cool to me." Lissa kicks at the ground and frowns. "I'm really only good at healing, so seeing somebody who can do so many different things is really impressive."
"You have other talents. You're far better with people than I am. You're good at pranks. Hmm… you're good at braiding hair." She's twisted a few locks together before while I was drawing.
Lissa giggles at that last one. "You should let me braid your hair more often then."
I chuckle along. "Well, don't expect the braids to stick around too long, but I won't fuss if you want to goof off next time I'm drawing. Just don't tie any knots."
"I would never!" Lissa gasps in mock-horror, then goes quiet again… "So, if I were to ask you how I should be a better princess, what would you say?"
I look down at Lissa, but she doesn't meet my gaze. She just stands in place, fidgeting nervously, eyes fixated on her… I'd say feet, but with that dress I doubt she can actually see them. Guess she's having her little identity crisis then? I'm pretty sure she talks about this with Chrom in the game.
"Well, let me think…" I put a hand to my chin and pretend to mull it over. "Your hair should change."
"My hair?" Lissa looks up at me in horror. "What's wrong with my hair?"
"Color's too boring. I mean, yellow? Come on. I think we need to go with something crazier. Like purple. Ooh, or neon pink! Oh, wait, I got it! Have you considered stripes?"
"Ben, come on, this is serious!" Lissa pouts cutely at me, and I chuckle.
"Well, I suppose if that answer doesn't work for you… you're probably okay then."
"What?"
"Yeah, I got nothing." I shrug. "Carry on as you were. If it ain't broke, don't fix it." I nod to myself and smirk. "I'm a pretty smart guy, so you know if I say something it has to be true."
"Darn it." Lissa sighs. "I was hoping you'd have something for me to work on."
"What can I say? I hate most politicians on principle, but I happen to think you're pretty good company. So clearly there's no reason to change anything."
"I'm not really a politician, Ben."
"You're royalty, that counts." I shrug.
Lissa sighs, but gives me a cheerful smile all the same. "Thanks Ben."
"Sure thing, kiddo." I pat her on the head and chuckle as she scowls at me. "Alright, we've been chatting enough, let's focus on work now, yeah?"
"Oh! Right!" Lissa looks back towards the main group, and frowns suddenly. "They're moving slower than usual."
I don't have the best grasp of the group's pace, but I figure I better see if I can spot something. The group seems to still be fighting, and Robin hasn't sent up a distress signal… But now that Lissa mentions it… "I think… you're right. They're barely moving." I frown. "What could be happening up there?"
Wait, isn't this the map where…
"Ben. Greetings."
"Whoa, shit!" I spin around in alarm and find myself face to face with Miriel. She looks as though she's been worn down just by running all the way over to catch up with us. "Geez Miriel, you startled me."
"I have disrupted your focus. My apologies. I had an important question to ask, however, and I believe that time is of the essence, as they say."
"What's up?"
"I wished to inquire if you are missing an axe."
"What?" I blink in alarm and grab at my hip, breathing a sigh of relief when my hand touches the axe Chrom gave me, firmly attached in place. "No, I've only got this one here."
"I see. Then it is as I expected. How troublesome. Are you aware of the position Robin intends for me to take?"
"Uhh, yeah, he wants you with his group in the middle there. Said he wanted you to clear the bridge."
"How convenient." Miriel looks to the vanguard and her face hardens. "It seems I have other business there as well." She rushes off towards the others with an impressive sweep of her robes, storming off with her tome in one hand… and an axe in the other.
"…That's Vaike's axe, isn't it." I give a deadpan stare as I watch Miriel convene with the others.
"Probably." Lissa claps a hand to her forehead in exasperation and groans. "Oh Vaike, not again…"
"What an idiot." I sigh. Movement in the corner of my eye catches my attention and I turn to see two Risen stumbling along the base of the hill. "Behind me Lissa. Hopefully now that the main attacking force is properly armed, this will end quickly."
In the end I only killed one Risen over the course of the whole battle, with Virion picking off the others that got close. Miriel proved to be a critical factor, to nobody's surprise. When experimenting in her studies Miriel wields magic like a scalpel, but in battle she prefers overwhelming force. When she kills something, she likes to be thorough about it.
The pace of the fight proceeded a lot quicker after she arrived, but was no less brutal for it. Once the last Risen were cleared out it was decided almost unanimously that it was time to set camp. The fortifications Miriel cleared on the northern side of the river made for a good shelter for the evening.
Which is how I find myself staring appreciatively at the silhouettes of two Risen that have been burnt into the outside wall. "This is like a work of art."
"Is that so?" Frederick pauses as he walks by, tilting his head appraisingly. "I suppose it does have a certain aesthetic. Though I feel as though it would be rude to leave marks like that on the wall. We should clean it."
"Add it to Vaike's chore list then." I shrug and turn aside, readjusting the armload of firewood I'm carrying. "He's getting off far too light anyways."
"Are you saying that out of concern for the consequences of his blunder? Or simply out of a desire for petty revenge?" Frederick stares levelly at me.
"Both, really." I smirk. "I think he's a jackass, yeah, but now he's also a jackass that put my friends at risk. Like, everyone here has treated me well with one notable exception, but Robin, Chrom, Severa…" I glare towards the fort entrance where Vaike is sweeping. "He picked some pretty important people on my list to nearly get killed."
"Chrom is not so weak as to let himself die to such a simple blunder." Frederick shakes his head. "Still, I share your disappointment. To drop his axe on the road like that… Well, at any rate, I am seeing to his punishment. So I expect you to act your age and be the adult in this scenario. No snide comments or rude gestures."
I grin back at Frederick. "Give me some credit here, as far as that moron goes I've displayed the patience of a saint. It's hardly my first time dealing with terrible co-workers."
"I haven't forgotten that incident with the chair, you know."
Oof. I had. "That was a stressful time for me, okay!" I grimace at the weakness of the excuse. "No, sorry, you're right. That was pretty stupid of me."
"You're quite correct though. You had only just recently experienced several traumatizing incidents. Being removed from your home, being lost in a strange land, multiple near-death experiences, your first kill…"
"That last one was pretty easy, actually." I frown thoughtfully. "It helps when you don't think of them as human."
"Hmm." Frederick does not seem eager to open that can of worms, which is good since that's not a conversation I ever really intend to have. The most conflict I have on the whole 'killing people' thing is my concern with how little conflict I feel.
Blah, blah, Ben's a terrible person and also a bit of a sociopath. Case closed, move along. When the metaphorical hornet's nest is your own fucking brain you don't play games, you just leave it alone.
"Regardless…" I snap out of my thoughts as Frederick starts talking again. "No matter your state of mind, I will not condone any actions you may take that worsen this foolish spat between the two of you. I feel the need to say as much, since your attitude towards Vaike has grown more hostile as you have become more comfortable in the Shepherds."
I frown at the warning, thinking it over. "The steadier the boat gets, the less harm I see in rocking it. Yeah, you've got a good point there." Being comfortable is always a dangerous thing for me, since my default setting is jackass. When you have terrible social graces you have to always stay on guard for fear of saying the sort of thing other people wouldn't even consider.
"I'm pleased you understand." Frederick nods in approval, before gesturing towards the fort. "Now, let us move. We have lingered long enough, and I would like to get a fire going before it gets dark."
"You and your fires." I chuckle.
"You enjoy tending them too, do not deny it!" Frederick scowls.
"Well yeah, but you're definitely well ahead of me in that regard all the same." I shrug. "A regular pyromaniac."
Frederick and I continue our banter while we get the fireplace of the old fort going, then I move on to the side room Stahl and I are using as a makeshift kitchen.
Dinner proves to be rabbit, to the relief of all but Chrom and Robin, and I set about preparing them while Stahl readies other ingredients for a stew. I'm not particularly experienced in skinning rabbits, but since I used to work at a butcher shop years ago I'm at least somewhat prepared for taking the animals apart, though I get a few tips from Chrom (a rubbish cook, but a decent butcher). My knife work needs more improvement though. If we weren't making stew I'd be pretty embarrassed.
The fort's been abandoned long enough that what sparse furniture remains is all but rotted away, so we clear it all out and use what few scraps are salvageable as extra firewood. The Shepherds all sit around the room on the stone floor (freshly swept by one miserable fighter with a lengthy list of chores), and eat rabbit stew that Stahl insists was a joint effort despite my meager contributions.
Frederick and Sumia take the dishes to wash in the river, Virion heads to the top of the fort to take first watch, and soon the rest of us settle down with sleeping mats and blankets around the room. We sit, chat about the battle, and wait for the fireplace to die out.
It's only my third trip with the Shepherds, but it all feels… normal. My usual night used to be just… curling up in bed watching YouTube videos or reading fanfiction. And now, I carve rabbits, lie down on cold stone, and wait for my shift on lookout to begin. And the sudden realization that this has all become routine for me hits harder than I thought it would.
"What the fuck happened to me?" I mutter, staring at the fireplace blankly.
"Hm? What's up, Ben?" Robin pulls his nose out of the map he's been studying and looks over to me in concern.
"It's nothing. Forget it." I grimace at the look in his face. "Just thinking out loud, that's all."
"That didn't exactly sound like nothing." I turn to the right and flinch as I realize Severa set her mat down right next to me without my noticing. Her gaze is sharp as she meets my eyes. "Did you say something happened to you?"
"Not exactly." I notice with sudden alarm that there's a whole lot of Shepherds suddenly looking my way. "No, seriously guys, I'm alright. Just…" I trail off uselessly, unable to come up with the exact word for what I'm feeling right now.
"Homesick?" Chrom supplies.
I think on the word for a moment and nod after a moment. "Yeah, I guess I am. It kinda just occurred to me how weird my life has gotten. How… normal this all is. And how different it is to what my life used to be."
"What was your life like back in Canada?" Lissa chimes in curiously.
"It was… simple." I lean back against the wall and think it over. "I had a boring job, selling groceries and moving boxes, which I used to pay for a small apartment that I rarely left. I had a small group of friends I met with regularly, and a much larger number of friends I barely saw. I played in a jazz band once a week, and spent the rest of my time reading and writing."
"What about your family?" Severa asks.
"I have a younger sister, who I rarely see because of her schooling. She lived with her girlfriend and the two would visit during holidays. My parents were teachers, though my mother had to retire around the time I was born due to a disability. She could barely stand on her own, so I often had to help her with shopping. My father was… well, things between us have been complicated for years. We care for each other, but…" I shrug, not willing to elaborate further on that one.
"Is your mother going to be alright now that you're here?" Chrom frowns pensively, also no doubt wishing to change the subject away from complicated father-son relationships.
I nod appreciatively. "She's got dad, and her sister lives close by as well. My schedule tended to be more accommodating than theirs, but she'll be alright."
"I see…" Chrom's frown doesn't budge. "Well, I can see why you want to return so badly. Your family must rely on you a lot."
"They do." I sigh. "Unfortunately I've had no real progress in that regard."
"Indeed." Miriel chimes in. "Information on the subject of the Outrealm Gate has been sparse at best. It is most vexing."
"Wait, you're trying to leave?" Severa exclaims in shock.
"Trying being the operative word." I shrug. "I have a life back in Canada that I want to go back to. It may not have been as… what's the word, influential? As my life here? But it's my life. I want it back. I spent years building it, and I want it back."
"What about your life here? You're just going to abandon us?" Severa replies angrily.
"I have a family back home, Severa." I frown at her sudden change in attitude. "If I stay here then I'd basically be abandoning them instead."
"Screw you!" She throws her pillow at me, and I flinch back in surprise, cracking my head against the wall. By the time I recover Severa's rushing out the door, nearly knocking Sumia and Frederick over as they return with the dishes. Sumia looks after the fleeing girl in shock, and promptly stacks everything she's carrying onto Frederick's already formidable pile, before rushing back out the door.
"Uhh… shit." I stare blankly at the door and look to the others. "Do… you think I should go after her?"
"You kidding?" Sully snorts. "You go out there right now that girl will dismantle you."
"Besides," Stahl adds, "It's not like you intend to change your decision, right?"
"No." I sigh, still watching after her. "I don't. You've all been good to me, and I've enjoyed my time here, but I still have a life to go back to."
"Understandable." Frederick replies from around his mountain of dishes. "It would be a fool's errand to ask you to abandon the life you spent 26 years building. It will be a sad day for all of us when you finally go home, but you have our full support in your efforts to return nonetheless."
"Shame about Severa though." Stahl remarks, gazing out the door with a frown. "She's pretty attached to you, huh Ben?"
"Yeah." I sigh, leaning back against the wall. "Apparently I remind her of her uncle. He's the one who taught her how to fight."
"Can't be that similar then." Sully jokes.
"Oof, I felt that one." I laugh along with the others.
We carry on with lighthearted conversation for the next few hours, until the sun fully sets. Sumia and Severa return during the conversation, but Severa doesn't speak to me, instead just curling up nearby in her blanket and turning her back to me. Sumia can only shrug and send me an apologetic smile when I look to her. Guess the kid still needs time to cool down.
The others start to take a cue from her as time passes, drifting off to sleep as well. I have second watch, so I choose to stay up for the time being, and soon it's only myself, Robin, Sumia, and Miriel awake. By this point it's become so dark that it's all but impossible to see save for the light of the fireplace, so the four of us move to huddle nearby. Miriel reads a tome on magic as per usual, Robin is reading some book about war history, Sumia is performing her fortune telling, and I am writing in my journal.
Everything is silent for a while, save for the rustling of pages and the crackling of the fire. I find myself humming a song as I write, a habit I've developed now that I don't have iTunes to play music for me.
"What's that tune?" Sumia asks me after a little while.
"Oh, it's uhh, it's called Madeline and Theo." I look up nervously. "Sorry, was I being too loud?"
"You're fine." Robin replies, not looking up from his book.
"Yup, I was just curious." Sumia smiles. "So what's it about?"
"It's part of a story of a woman named Madeline who climbs a mountain. Along the way she meets a man named Theo, and the two become friends as they climb together. The song represents their time spent around the campfire, where they would meet and exchange stories of their adventures." I smile as I think back on it. Celeste was one of the last games I played before coming here. Not a bad one to end with at all.
"Oh that sounds lovely!" Sumia clasps her hands together in delight. "How do the words go?"
"Oh, uhh, there aren't any." I frown. "I suppose I could write some, but that would take me a pretty long time. It's just a nice melody."
"Oh." Sumia visibly deflates.
"I could sing something else for you if you'd like?" I reply quickly, not wanting to ruin the happy mood.
"Would you?" Sumia grins again, to my relief.
"As long as nobody else minds?" I look to the other two as they read.
"I'd be happy to hear you sing something." Robin looks up from his book and smiles. "I've heard Lissa say you're an excellent singer." I grin in response, remembering the many times she's managed to wear me down until I gave in and sang. She's a difficult girl to refuse.
"I have no objections." Miriel responds, though she doesn't look away from her book.
"Okay then… what should I sing?" I muse to myself. "Any sort of song you want to hear?"
"How about… something about your home?" Sumia looks curiously at me. "I'm very curious to know more about Canada." Robin nods along at the suggestion, and Miriel gives the briefest of glances to me, a sure sign that she's equally interested.
"Okay then… let me think of one." I pause and rack my brains. The majority of songs I know are all rock and roll, jazz, or from video games. Not much to work with there. Instead I think back to choir, choosing an old favorite of mine.
By woodsmoke and oranges, path of old canoe,
I would course the inland ocean to be back to you.
No matter where I go to, it's always home again
To the rugged northern shore and the days of sun and wind.
In the land of the silver birch, cry of the loon
There's something 'bout this country that's a part of me and you.
We nosed her in by Pukaskwa, out for fifteen days,
To set paddle and the spirit at the mercy of the waves.
The wanigans were loaded down and a gift left on the shore,
For it's best if we surrender to the rugged northern shore.
In the land of the silver birch, cry of the loon,
There's something in this country that's a part of me and you.
The waves smashed the smoky cliffs of Old Woman Bay,
Where we fought against the backswell and then were on our way.
I would talk to you of spirits - by the vision pits we saw them
Walk the agate beaches of the mighty Gargantua.
In the land of the silver birch, cry of the loon
There's something 'bout this country that's a part of me and you.
I've turned my back upon these things, tried to deny
The coastline of my dreams, but it turns me by and by.
It tossed the mighty ship around, smashed the lighthouse door,
Sent shivers up my spine, oh the rugged northern shore.
In the land of the silver birch, cry of the loon
There's something 'bout this country that's a part of me and you.
Oh the land of the silver birch, cry of the loon
There's something 'bout this country that's a part of me and you.
No matter where I go to, it's always home again
To the rugged northern shore and the days of sun and wind.
I stop singing. My eyes lift from the fire, where they had been fixed throughout the song. I feel wetness on my cheeks and it occurs to me that at some point during the song I started crying. "Huh." I comment softly, wiping my eyes on my sleeve. "That's weird, I've never even been to the places this song is about."
I look to the others. Sumia has her gaze fixed on me, teary-eyed as well. Miriel stares at the floor, having put her book down in the middle of the song. Robin looks to the fire, expression unreadable.
"It's still your home." Sumia replies shakily. "It may not be a place you've gone to, but it still reminds you of home."
"Yeah." I choke out. "I guess it does."
"Your voice has a fascinating quality." Miriel says thoughtfully. "The words of the song remind me nothing of my home, and yet the emotion in your singing can be clearly felt. It merits further study. I would hear you sing again, if you do not mind?"
"I'd be happy to. Just… not tonight." I take another unsteady breath. "That took a lot out of me."
"Understandable." She gives me a soft smile. "When it is next convenient for you then."
I smile appreciatively at her. Miriel and I have been working together several times a week for the past few months, but this is one of the few times we've communicated outside of business, for lack of a better word. It's a side of her that the games rarely, if ever show, but Miriel does much more to her than intellectual superiority and rampant curiosity. Hell, in the games she's barely identifiable as human. Here, she is every bit the curious intellectual, but no less a good friend.
Speaking of friends…
"You alright, Robin?" I look over to him in worry. He still hasn't moved a muscle since I finished singing.
"I think I understand a little better now." Robin replies softly.
"What?" I turn to Sumia and she shares a look of confusion with me. "What do you understand?"
Robin seems to jump, and looks up to me blankly. "Oh! Sorry, it's nothing."
"You sure?" I frown. "You know if something's bothering you, you can talk about it. We're all friends here."
"Oh yes, if you're troubled I would be happy to help you!" Sumia chimes in.
"There is no problem I cannot solve. Surely we can be of assistance." Miriel adjusts her glasses and gives a dignified nod.
Robin chuckles and waves his hands in a calming gesture. "I appreciate it everyone, really. But I swear, I'm fine. Promise. Just… tired, I think. Probably time I turned in." He gets up, stashes his book in his bag, and moves to his sleeping mat. Sumia shoots me a pleading glance, but I can only shrug helplessly. If he won't talk to me, that's it as far as I'm concerned. I have no way of coercing him if he's not willing to speak up.
With Robin gone a silence settles back over the rest of us. We settle back in around the fire, until Sumia decides to go to sleep as well. Miriel follows shortly after. And I take that as my cue to relieve Virion for watch.
"You have an excellent singing voice." He says as I reach the rooftop.
"Oh, you heard?" I blink in surprise. "Thought I was being quieter than that."
"It is a quiet night, my friend." Virion smiles, claps me on the arm and heads for the stairs. "Certainly not noisy enough to drown out the laments of one whose heart cries out as my own. The feeling of homesickness is one we both share, Ben."
"You're right." I chuckle bitterly. "I guess that's why we get along so well, huh?"
"Don't be ridiculous!" Virion turns back emphatically. "Our friendship is based on much more than that."
"Uhh, shit." I blink in surprise. "Sorry man, didn't mean to imply-"
Virion chuckles, cutting me off. "It is quite alright, my good man. You are correct that the empathy we feel strengthens our bonds as brothers in arms. I would ask though, that you remember there is more to it than that."
"Wouldn't dream of forgetting." I grin. "So I guess you can rest easy for tonight."
"I will certainly do so." Virion replies. "Good night, my friend."
The night is shrouded in clouds, but moonlight shines through enough that I can see far in all directions. Much like Virion said, all is silent until the time comes for Sully to relieve me.
I descend back into the room and head for my mat. The room is quiet, save for the sound of sleeping Shepherds. I pause as I settle in and look over to where Severa is laying. The girl is perfectly still, which draws a smirk from me.
"You know, if you're pretending to be asleep you shouldn't hold your breath like that."
Severa twitches, but otherwise doesn't move. I do see her blanket start to move with her breathing though, and chuckle at the sight.
"See, that's more like it." I lie down on my mat and sigh. "I suppose you've been awake this whole time then. You heard me sing?"
No response from her. I shrug and finish settling in. "Well, I guess it's fine either way. You already understand what it's like to long for your home. Don't need me to explain it."
I lay still, feeling sleep come quickly to claim me. And when I hear Severa's soft reply of "I get it," I don't comment on it.
There's nothing I can say, really. Severa understands that I long for home.
And I understand that to her, I'm a part of the home she's longing for.
God damn did this take a lot of editing. Seriously, I think I deleted a good six pages worth of stuff due to it just... sucking. But hey, we finally have our first song in the story Whispers and Songs! How about that, huh? Only took nine chapters.
So, I owe everyone an apology for taking three fucking weeks to post this. Been having some difficult family stuff to deal with, and it's definitely sapped much of my time and enthusiasm towards writing. Hopefully this was worth the wait. I don't think the next chapter will take as long, though I'll probably be distracted when KH3 comes out in a couple days.
Here's the part where I remind you all that reviews are definitely the best way to keep me motivated to write stuff.
Anyways, next chapter, The Farfort! I know, we're actually going straight from one game chapter to the next, it's super weird! See you then!
