Inuyasha's Job
(To support his new family, Inuyasha decides to get a job. By the way, it's awesome.)
Inuyasha: Hey Kagome. Check out the uniform.
Kagome: Oh my goodness! You got the job!
Inuyasha: Yep. I'm officer Inuyasha, a certified cop.
(Inuyasha pulls out two guns.)
Inuyasha: Now I like these, but not as well as my sword.
Kagome: Be careful with those!
Inuyasha: Hey, who's the policeman here? I took a two-hour class and passed it with flying colors. I shot the target dead-on, 100 times in a row.
(Kagome is speechless.)
Inuyasha: Now who's the man of the house, huh?
Kagome: You are! I am so proud of you!
Inuyasha: I officially start tomorrow. I'm going to go tell Miroku and Sango. See you later.
Kagome: Okay, see ya.
(Inuyasha goes to the Feudal Era to visit Miroku and Sango.)
Miroku: Whoa! Awesome suit!
Sango: Your job sounds amazing!
Inuyasha: I'm also an executioner, you know, when it gets personal.
Miroku: Now that's what I'm talking about!
Sango: How are Kagome and the twins?
Inuyasha: They're doing just fine. We took them to get their one-month shots about a week ago. Not to mention, I also had to have shots.
Miroku: And shots are…?
Inuyasha: Medicine transferred through a needle to keep you from getting sick. And let me tell you, the tetanus shot hurt like hell! And it was given in my hip!
Miroku: Ooh, did you scream?
Inuyasha: Well…I'd prefer not to say.
Miroku: You did, didn't you?
Inuyasha: Okay… Maybe a little, but hey! It was painful!
(Miroku and Sango's two-week old son, Kanjouto, begins to cry.)
Sango: He must be hungry. I had better go feed him.
Miroku: Can I watch?
Sango: Don't make me smack you!
Miroku: I want to try some milk.
Sango: No! I'll be back in a minute.
(Sango goes inside the house. Koga was spying in a nearby bush. He thought to himself, "What the hell is he wearing?" He didn't catch the beginning of the conversation. He sees Inuyasha waving good-bye to Miroku and heading toward the well. As Inuyasha jumps into the well, Koga wonders, "Since I have these shards, maybe I could pass through the well, too." After Miroku goes inside his house, Koga goes over to the well. He looks down into it, thinks for a minute, and then jumps into the well. He ends up on the other side, shocked that it actually worked.)
Koga: Oh yeah! I should have done this a long time ago!
(Later, Inuyasha comes home with a Husky and German shepherd mix dog.)
Inuyasha: Hey Kagome. Check out my new partner.
Kagome: Oh my! He's huge!
Inuyasha: He was teamed up with me to help me with my job. His name is Michito.
(The dog sniffs Inuyasha's butt.)
Inuyasha: That's the only problem. Since I'm a half-dog demon, he tends to treat me like one of his own kind. Away from my behind! No boy!
(The dog stops and minds him.)
Inuyasha: See. He's very obedient.
Kagome: Yes he is. (Mischievously) Just like you.
Inuyasha: Oh no.
Kagome: Sit boy.
(The dog sits down and Inuyasha falls down. The dog gives Inuyasha a look of confusion as he tilts his head to the side and makes a noise.)
Kagome: You're right. He is obedient. (Giggles.)
(It is now nighttime, and if you recall, Koga had followed Inuyasha to the present. Kagome and Inuyasha are asleep in bed, and Koga sees his chance for revenge. He looks at them with envy, noticing how cozy they look together, and thinks, "Look at them, all comfy and warm… Hn." He sneaks toward the nursery, planning to kidnap Sinshida and Renashu. This probably makes you wonder, "What's he going to do with two babies?" Well, I can't really say there… because I just don't know. I don't think he knows either!)
Koga: (Sneaking quietly) Okay. I just need to… (Steps on a squeaky duck toy.) Whoa! What the heck is this? Oh well, whatever. Hmm…
(Koga looks around the house and finds the nursery where the babies are sleeping. He carefully lifts them out of the bassinette. Suddenly, he hears a growling noise behind him, and as he turns around to see what it is, there stands Michito bearing his teeth in warning at Koga.)
Koga: What kind of creature are you?
(The dog continues to growl at Koga, watching his every move. Koga can sense that Michito is about to attack, so he makes a run for it, carrying the babies with him. Michito stays on Koga's tail, and he finally bites Koga's tail and makes him scream.)
Koga: Owww!
(Kagome wakes up and wonders what the noise is.)
Kagome: Inuyasha… Inuyasha, I heard something.
Inuyasha: (Waking up) Huh? What is it?
Kagome: I think something's down there.
Inuyasha: I'll handle it. Don't worry. I'll go see what it is.
(He grabs one of his guns and goes downstairs to see what it is. He is still half-asleep, and can barely keep his eyes open. He finds that Michito has Koga trapped in a corner, with his children in his arms! Of course Inuyasha thinks that he is dreaming.)
Inuyasha: Koga… with my babies… (Yawn) cornered by Michito. Hmm… Gotta find the danger.
(He starts to walk away, but suddenly he realizes what's going on as his eyes fly open.)
Inuyasha: Wait! That is dangerous!
Koga: Yeah, where have you been? Drinking from a toilet bowl?
(Inuyasha aims his gun at Koga. He's definitely awake now!)
Inuyasha: What are you doing with my kids!
Koga: Now. Now. Watch that thing. If I get hurt, they get hurt. You know, I followed you.
Inuyasha: Give them back! I knew I couldn't trust you!
Koga: Make that animal back off and no harm will come to them.
(Michito continues to growl at Koga.)
Inuyasha: Don't you dare hurt them!
Koga: Well then, get that beast away!
(Cornered by a difficult decision, Inuyasha is forced to restrain Michito for the safety of his children.)
Inuyasha: Michito, down.
(The dog stops growling and gets down just as he is told.)
Koga: Wise choice, mutt.
(Koga walks to the middle of the room. Inuyasha looks at Koga with intense rage and anger, with fear for his children.)
Kagome: Koga! What are you doing here! Why do you have my babies!
Koga: They should have been our babies! But nooo! You chose the mutt!
(Koga moves closer to Kagome, standing in front of her. Inuyasha quietly sneaks behind Koga, nods to Kagome, and hits Koga over the head. Koga drops Renashu and Sinshida and Kagome catches them. As Koga falls to the ground, Inuyasha points the gun to his head, prepared to shoot.)
Kagome: My babies! Oh, my sunshines!
(Kagome caresses her babies.)
Inuyasha: Now to give you what you deserve.
(Inuyasha's eyes remain furiously focused on Koga. Koga's heart throbs with fear at gunpoint.)
Koga: No, please don't. Inuyasha…
Inuyasha: You know. I don't think that I'll kill you. I'm gonna sentence you to a lifetime in jail.
Koga: Jail? Huh?
(Later, at jail…)
Inuyasha: Now you can rot behind bars.
Koga: I would've been better off dead. And what is with this outfit! Orange!
Inuyasha: (Petting Michito) Good dog.
Koga: That's a dog?
Inuyasha: Yep. He's my canine comrade. Hey! Two C's! Well, later jailbird! Don't drop the soap! Ha!
(Inuyasha and Michito walk off.)
Koga: Soap?
(The worst part is: Koga is imprisoned in a cell with an over-joyous gay guy! I bet that was no accident!)
Man: Hey good-looking. What are you in for? Halloween protesting?
Koga: First of all, don't ever call me that again unless you have a death wish! Second of all, keep away from me! And finally, I'm in for kidnapping! Okay you nosey freak!
Man: Oh, okay. I'm in for groping a cop. It was that guy that was just here, the one with long, black hair. He's pretty.
(Koga backs up into a corner with a creeped-out look on his face.)
Man: He's a bit aggressive and violent though. It wasn't long after his fist hit my face that everything went black and I ended up here. And now you're here too! Come on, cutie! Let's sing! "We're gonna die, gonna die in jail! We're gonna die, gonna die in jail!"
(As the man continues
to sing, it starts to really annoy Koga. That, and the fact that he
called him a "cutie.")
Man: "We're gonna die, gonna
die in— (Punch!)
(Koga punches the guy in the face, making him fall unconscious again.)
Koga: You are the only one that's going to die in here!
(Inuyasha returns home, and when he walks into the door, Kagome runs to him and hugs him.)
Kagome: (Crying) Oh, Inuyasha! I was so scared!
(Inuyasha holds her and feels her sadness. He retains his tears as he comforts her.)
Inuyasha: I know. I was too. Come on.
(They walk over to the couch and sit down as she continues to cry. They sit down together as she puts her face into her hands, her elbows resting on her knees, and cries loudly. Inuyasha puts his arm around her to comfort her.)
Inuyasha: It's okay, sweetheart. It's okay now. You know, I finally understand something now.
(She sits up and looks at him.)
Inuyasha: When you called them your sunshines…
(He remembers going into the nursery, listening secretly as Kagome sang the babies a lullaby song.)
Kagome: "You are my sunshines, my only sunshines. You make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know dears, how much I love you, Oh, please don't take… my sunshines… away."
(Inuyasha listened to the song, but he didn't understand it then.)
Inuyasha: I remembered that song… The one you sang to them. Now I appreciate what the song really means.
(Kagome dries her tears and smiles at him.)
Inuyasha: I don't think we'll have any more problems from Koga anyway. Besides, he's going to be driven insane by the guy he's imprisoned with. Ha!
(Meanwhile, back with Koga…)
Man: (Regains consciousness) Whoa. What hit me?
Koga: My undying anger. I have to get out of here!
Inuyasha: Problems, Koga?
Koga: Shut up and let me out of here mutt!
Inuyasha: Oh, I'll let you out… because it's lunchtime.
(At the cafeteria…)
Inuyasha: Move it, punk!
(Inuyasha slaps Koga in his back, and Koga gives him a nasty look.)
Inuyasha: I love this job.
(The gay dude comes up next to Inuyasha.)
Man: Hey, gorgeous.
(Inuyasha gives the gay dude a death glare, and he gets a hint.)
Man: Uhh… I'm just going to go eat now.
(He runs away from Inuyasha, and Inuyasha smirks.)
Inuyasha: Hn. What an idiot.
(Koga gets his tray of food and sits at a table alone.)
Koga: They call this "food?" Pssh! I'm not eating this!
(The over-joyous gay dude comes over to sit with Koga. Isn't that thrilling for Koga! He sits across from Koga.)
Man: Hey there, cutie. How's it going?
(Koga looks disgusted by the man's actions, holding his fork in his hand.)
Man: You know, I think we'll become best friends! Maybe we can hit the showers together later and get to know each other better.
(This statement grosses out Koga. While the gay freak continues to talk Koga's head off, Koga looks at his fork, and again at the man.)
Koga: Grrr!
(He jumps across the table at the man, landing on top of him.)
Man: Now this is what I'm talking about!
(Koga puts his fork to the man's throat.)
Koga: I've had enough of you!
(Inuyasha comes over and grabs the two of them by their collars.)
Inuyasha: All right! That's far enough! Hit the showers!
Man: Yay!
Koga: No! (Low voice) Inuyasha, what are you trying to do to me? At least let me kill the sick freak!
Inuyasha: No way. They don't call me an "executioner" for nothing.
Koga: Then go ahead and execute him already!
Inuyasha: Nah. I don't think I will. You two need some bonding time.
Koga: Aww, man! Someone kill me!
