NAYEON

"So you're okay with what just happened?" I wasn't even sure where to begin. Jeongyeon didn't respond but started to change out of her tuxedo.

"Jeongyeon!"

"What Nayeon, what!" she yelled, throwing her tie onto the bed.

"Don't you 'what' me! We just set a mansion on fire—"

"You didn't do shit. Mina and Chaeyoung did," she interrupted me as she walked into the closet.

"Exactly, and it was wrong! How many people just died?" She was acting like she didn't care. But this had to have bothered her. I was so angry that I wanted to kill them all.

She looked at me like I was insane. "It's the job, Nayeon. I don't give a shit about who died. I'm not paid to give a shit. This family is all I care about, and you know that, so save me your bull about the innocent."

Crossing my arms across my chest, I glared at her and bit my tongue to stop myself from saying what it was I really wanted to say.

"They are reckless and callous, which isn't a good combination! They have no idea what they are doing! You sell drugs! You are not murderers! How old is Mina? Twenty-four, twenty-five? She walks around like she owns the goddamn world!" I hated her the fucking most.

"Because she does!" she snapped, stomping out of the closet and into my face.

"No, she doesn't, and neither does Chaeyoung. She shouldn't even be Ceann na Conairte! You should be. This is all fucked up! They treat you as if you're a fucking dog. They treat us all like we are their fucking pets. She shot you twice! And each time you defend them! You are the oldest. You are the strongest. You should be Ceann na Conairte!" There, I fucking said it.

She shook her head at me and sighed before taking a seat on the bed. I fell to my knees in front of her and kissed her hands.

"You have always allowed Chaeyoung to hold the past over you. Now her wife is doing the same, and she isn't even—"

"Enough, Nayeon," she replied so coldly I flinched. "Do you want to get a divorce?"

My jaw dropped open as I stared at her. "Jeong you can't . . . What? No, I don't want a fucking divorce."

I got to my feet as she stared at me. She stood up, walking to my closet and started to pull out my things.

"Jeong, what in seven hells are you doing? I don't want a divorce!" I yelled again trying to stop her.

"That's the only way I know how to protect you. We could get divorced, you would have to get a new identity, and I would leave you enough money that you wouldn't have to worry. Once Chaeyoung and Mina found out they would most likely have you killed. You speak French right? France could be good for you, the shopping, the—"

"Shut up you asshole! We have vows. I'm not divorcing you. I would rather have them kill me." Her words stung, and I tried to fight the tears that were building up in my eyes as she pulled me in and kissed me hard, but it was only when she broke away from my lips did she finally truly look at me.

She kissed my forehead and I stayed in her embrace. I loved her arms. I felt protected, and loved, and special.

"I love you, Nayeon, I truly do," she whispered. "But I love my family more. If it came down to Mina and Chaeyoung and this family, I have to choose them. It's in my blood to choose them. I want you at my side, but you need to understand that we are family and we are pawns. Chaeyoung and Mina rule, which means when they call, you answer. They tell you to jump and you try to reach the sky."

"Jeong—"

She pulled back so I could stare into her eyes "No. Listen to me Nayeon. Just because I am firstborn does not give me any right to be Ceann na Conairte. I don't want to be Ceann na Conairte. Mina and Chaeyoung were born on the dark side of the moon. They enjoy this life. They watch people burn in their beds. When they aren't doing that, they are making sure needles stay in people's arms and coke in their noses. That is all they do all the time. It's what you do when you're the Ceann na Conairte. I watched our father go half-mad because of what he was forced to do. I've watched my mother dip herself in cement just so she could stand beside him and not break. She wasn't always so tough. This life changes us. It forces us to become cold-blooded and not to care for anyone but the family. I handle being a sidekick, because I don't want to walk so deeply in the dark. I do not want us to walk so deeply in the dark."

"So what am I supposed to do?" I hissed, breaking out of her hands. "Bow down to them as though they are King and Queen."

She looked at the clothes on the ground and then at me. "You have three options—bow, hide, or die, Nayeon. So yes, you will bow down and kiss the ring like we all do. You will jump when they ask, come when they call, and anything else. Or, you can be packed by the time I get back."

She walked past me and toward the door before turning again. "I knew when you married me that you loved the idea of power just as much as you did me. I knew you wanted all the things that came with being a Son. I've tried to give it all to you, but you need to understand Nayeon, you are not the queen, you are the princess. You will always be the princess. You may wear a tiara, but it will never be as big or as shiny as Mina's. Hopefully you love me enough to be just Princess."

"Jeong—" She slammed the door.

"I do love you," I whispered to myself. Falling to my knees, I gathered my things and put them back into the closet.

Tracing my tattoo on my wrist, I sighed. She was right. I did love the idea of power when we got married. I was so excited to be marrying a Son, and Son Jeongyeon at that. I thought all my pain would go away. But in the back of my mind, I could still hear his voice sometimes. He was like this never-ending part of me that wouldn't go away. No matter how many times I tried to wash him off me, he was still there. I married Jeongyeon for a lot of reasons. First because I really did love her, and second, because I knew she wouldn't dare come after me as a Son. I thought I could have it all—the fame, the wife, and the protection. Jeongyeon thought it was her fault we couldn't have children, but the truth was it was mine. It was because of what that monster and his friends did to me. They broke me.

Even after all this time, I still couldn't speak about it. I felt disgusted with myself, and at first I thought Jeongyeon would be, too. I knew better now. I knew she loved me, which is why I knew she would hunt her down. I just didn't know if I was ready to face that darkness yet. Mina had taken the seat I wanted, but I had Jeongyeon.

I still hated her, but I had Jeongyeon and I wasn't ready to lose her yet either. So I would bow and kiss the fucking ring.