A/N: Thanks for all the great reviews guys! I'm not going to comment on each this time because i'm pressed for time, but they really made me excited. And I'm sorry it too so long to update, but I was at a major loss. Thanks to Sheila again for betaing. And if there's anything that's confusing you, or that you want clarified, or even something you want me to make sure I write about, let me know in the reviews i know you all will give so I can address them.
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Luke called Lorelai around eleven the next morning from the diner, hoping that his girls were actually awake. "Hey, you've reached Lorelai Gilmore-Danes and, ouch! sorry Luke Danes, and sometimes Rory. And also April on occasion, so, ouch! Sorry again. Leave a message, and make getting back to you sound appealing, cause we're in such high demand we can't get back to everyone. Oh, and of course, this is Paul Anka's house too. Yes, Paul Anka, Mommy loves you. Ok, wait for the beep."
"Lorelai, we need a new message. The people in the white coats are going to come and take you away if they hear that. Moving on, please tell me that you two are up. Come on, Lorelai," he pleaded, "you know you need to be up, Lorelai!"
"Hey, I'm here, we're up, we've been up," she told him.
"Really? Then why didn't you and April show up for breakfast?" Luke had been expecting them around nine. He had put blueberry pancakes aside for them. He assumed they were sleeping late, but with Anna coming to the diner to pick up April in less than an hours, and he needed them to get their butts over to Luke's.
"We decided to eat here," she informed him.
"You cooked?" he was dumbfounded.
Lorelai laughed, "Me, cook?" he heard April start to giggle in the background.
"Then what did you have?"
"Pizza," Lorelai said quickly, laughing again.
"Pizza? We had pizza last night, why would you give it to her again. She's 14, she's still growing! Anna's going to kill me when she hears about this! Kids need fruits and vegetables and nutrients in the morning, not the same crap two meals in a row!"
"Three," she says, "she had it for lunch yesterday too."
Luke breathed in heavily and then exhaled, Lorelai told April to go and get her stuff ready, then Lorelai walked up to her room. "Hey, just chill, Luke," Lorelai said, "cold pizza was always one of Rory's favorite homemade breakfasts, after pop-tarts of course. And it was April's suggestion anyways."
"I don't care, Lorelai, she's my daughter, and I have a responsibility to make sure she's fed and taken care of. I can't have any more reasons for Anna to keep me from her, damn it!" he yelled into the phone, "and how late were you up with her last night?"
Lorelai was quiet for a moment, "I don't know, two, maybe three…"
"Lorelai, what's wrong with you?" Luke asked sharply.
"Luke, April's fine. No signs of trauma or sleep-deprivation. Trust me, Luke, she's 14, this stuff is fine to do. I did it with Rory, and Rory's fine."
"Who cares? Rory's different, and I don't need April to be some smart-mouthed caffeine addict that eats like a pig and thinks its ok to do whatever the hell she wants."
Lorelai couldn't believe her own ears and she sat down on the foot of the bed. Luke only heard silence on the other end. When he finally realized what he had said, he softly said, "Lorelai…"
"No, Luke, I get it, totally understandable. She's your kid, not mine, if you don't like how I raised my kid, I shouldn't influence yours."
"Lorelai, that's not what I meant," he said.
"I've got to get to the inn, I'll have April walk over to the diner. Unless, of course, you don't want her doing that because that's what me and Rory would do."
"No, that's fine, and I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that," he said, and Lorelai knew he was sincere.
"I know, just… never mind."
"What?" he questioned.
"Just don't ever doubt my parenting skills here. I was a fourteen year old girl, I raised a fourteen year old girl. And I'd never do anything to hurt April, god Luke, you know that. I care about her almost as much as you do. I want the best for her as you do for Rory."
"Ok, we ok?"
"We're fine, so, I'll be back by 6:30, have that dinner ready," she said, upbeat again. Luke smiled. He loved how easily their little fights were dissolved sometimes. A simple 'we're fine' or 'we're ok' is all that it takes. He missed the simplicity of it when they had had all their issues almost a year ago, and he was so happy when those tiny reconciliations became enough again.
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Luke ran up the front porch of Lorelai's house. He had run all the way from the diner, and Luke couldn't recall ever running that fast in his life, not even in high school. He rang the doorbell a few times, and then fumbled through his pockets to find his key. He let himself in and began to look around the entire house for Lorelai. "Lorelai? Are you here? Please tell me you're here!" he shouted. She wasn't in the living room, the kitchen, Rory's room, their room. Their room? He wracked his brain for the last time this was there room, but he came up blank.
Once Lorelai had left Luke standing on the street, Luke made his way slowly back into the diner, nearly being pushed aside by Babette running out. He had every intention to head upstairs, go to sleep, and deal with this craziness in the morning, so he had gone to the counter and asked Lane to close up. "Sure thing," she told him, "oh, and it might not be any of my business, but Rory had hinted that Lorelai had mentioned how upset she was that everyone had met April before she did." Luke grabbed the phone and went into the supply closet with it. He left a message on Lorelai's phone begging her to call him back as soon as possible. He called the inn and Sookie, but neither had seen or heard from her in awhile. Sookie did, however, explain to him how Lorelai had spent the previous night there, obviously very upset. When he came back out into the front, Babette had returned, but now Patty was by her side. The two of them filled Luke in on the true events of Lane's wedding, and of Lorelai hiding from him that morning at her house. Luke could barely process all he was hearing, but he knew that he had to make this right, so he ran out the diner door and straight to Lorelai's house.
After checking the whole house, Luke called Rory's phone, but she didn't pick up. He left a few more cryptic apologies on Lorelai's cell, then Luke sat down in the chair in the living room, determined to stay up until Lorelai returned. Sometime around one, Paul Anka come out of hiding, sat next to Luke, and fell asleep, and Luke soon followed the dog's lead.
The next morning he woke up to Paul Anka's barking. "Is she home?" he asked, already knowing the answer. Luke put food and water in the dog's bowls and called Lorelai's phone a few more times. "Eight o'clock," he said to know one in particular, "Lorelai, where are you?" Luke walked back to the diner, apologized to Cesar for not opening or calling, and asked him to cover for him for awhile, and then he made his way back to Lorelai's house. Luke sat down on the top step of the porch after letting Paul Anka come out and join him on the steps, putting his head on Luke's lap.
Around eleven, Luke heard the car door shut, and he looked up to see Lorelai standing their near the jeep, staring at him. She took a deep breath and walked towards Luke. When she was right before the stairs, she opened her mouth to talk, but Luke wasn't going to let her have the first word this time.
"Lorelai, I'm so sorry. I had no idea how you felt about all of this. I had no idea. I can't believe I was so blind to it, but I was, and I hate that I did that to you. We can figure out this whole deal with April. I'll talk to Anna, I'll make this right, you're right! April needs to be a part of our life. But I can't just jump, I told you that, and you know that. We'll get married, and soon, I promise, but first we need to work this out," Luke had gotten up during his rant and was standing in front of Lorelai. He took her hands into his, but she pulled away and wrapped her arms around herself. "Lorelai, we need everything settled before we rush into a marriage," he said, trying to convince her of his point of view. "We will fix this, but we need to be honest, no secrets." Lorelai cocked her head to the side a bit, not believing that Luke had actually said that, that now, finally, he was ready for that, but it was too late. "I know, I messed up, but now, we need to be honest, we can start over here again, but we need be able to rely on each other here, tell each other what's bothering us, why we're upset. I'm not a freaking mind reader Lorelai, if I had known what you were thinking, I would have acted before all this happened, but for once I couldn't read you. I don't know why, but I hate that I couldn't, and I hate that I caused you so much pain and everything. Patty told me about the wedding, what you really said." Lorelai's face went white. "Why didn't you just tell me how much it bothered you?" He put his hand on her shoulder, but she brushed it away. "Lorelai, I'm sorry again, how many times do you need to hear it?" She shrugged. "Lorelai, I do love you, and we're going to get married, we'll set another date, we just need to take the time now to fix this. So, is that alright? Are we alright?" Luke put his hand on her shoulder again, and tilted his head down to look into her eyes.
Lorelai was stunned by everything that Luke was saying, the sincerity of it all, and how it was all going to mean nothing in a few moments. She brushed Luke's hand off her shoulder's again, and then she felt tears forming in her eyes and put her hand over her face.
"What's wrong?" Luke asked.
"Luke, last night…" she chokes up and gasps for a breath.
"'Last night' what, Lorelai? Where were you? Weren't you with Rory? She wasn't answering her cell, so I thought you were there."
"Luke… I…" Lorelai didn't know the words.
"What happened, Lorelai?" Luke asked quickly, suddenly very worried.
Lorelai still couldn't figure out how to tell him, how to make it so he didn't hate her. She decided to start from the beginning. "I was in Boston, I didn't want to be alone, I needed someone to talk to."
"Boston?" Luke was trying to figure out the significance of Boston. "Who's in Boston?"
"Chris," she replied simply.
"Chris? You went to Chris? I was calling you 10 minutes after to left, Lorelai, why did you go to Chris?"
"You're so going to hate me in a second," she said, more to herself than to Luke.
"Why Lorelai? What happened?" he said, hoping so much that nothing happen, "You just needed someone to talk to, right?"
"Luke, that's all I was planning on doing… I'm sorry." He stares back at her blankly. He can't believe what she's implying. She had sex with Christopher, he knew it, he didn't need to hear the words, she wouldn't be sorry for any other reason. "I didn't mean to do it, Luke, believe me, it meant nothing, I…" her voice trailed off. She moved towards the steps and lowered herself on to one. Luke stood perfectly still, his gaze not moving from her former position. "Believe me, Luke, it meant nothing, I was just so mad, so sure you didn't want to be with me." She starts crying, really crying. "I'm awful, Luke, I'm…I just hate myself…I can't believe I did this." She was practically shaking. Luke turned around and sat down on the step beside her, but continued to look straight ahead. "I'm a horrible person, you should hate me."
"You're not a horrible person," Luke said plainly.
She shook her head, "Yes, yes I am. Yes I am, God! I'm so sorry, I can't, I'm just, Luke…"
"Why?" he turned to look at her.
"'Why' what?" Lorelai asked, clueless.
"Why Chris? Why did you do this, we're engaged, Lorelai, doesn't that matter?" Luke asked, still dumbfounded.
"I told you I needed to be with someone, I thought we were done, you didn't want to marry me, you chose never."
"I did not choose never! You didn't give me the chance. Damn it, Lorelai! Why? I get needing someone, but Chris, running and having sex with Chris?" He stood up again, barely able to contain his anger. His arms were moving like crazy as he continued. "I never would have thought that you would have been capable of this. You just said that you wanted to get married, you wanted to elope, you said you loved me."
Lorelai looked up, "I do love you."
"If you loved me you wouldn't jump in some guys bed just like that. No! Not some guy! Him! Lorelai, Chris! It's not like it's Kirk, this is him, you know how he makes me feel. Was it all because I didn't say 'now?' Did you just do this to hurt me?"
"Of course not, Luke, I never wanted to hurt you."
"Well, what did you think this would do?"
"I didn't…"
"Didn't what?" He snapped, "You didn't think? That's right! What, were you drunk?"
"No."
"Did he force you?"
"No."
"So you just had sex with him? Easy as that? Did you even think about us?" Luke asked bitterly. "No, don't tell me that, I don't want to know if you were thinking about us then."
"Luke, I'm sorry."
"Yeah, well…I have to go. I need to go somewhere and think, and I can't keep looking at you, I have to go." He began to turn around.
"Luke?" she said softly.
"What!"
"I'm sorry."
"I got that," he said, he knew she was sorry, he could tell by her voice, and by the look in her eyes, but it wasn't enough.
"Luke?"
"What!"
"I don't want to lose you, I don't want this to be the end."
"Yeah, well, maybe you should have thought about that before."
"Luke, don't! I…" she begged.
"Lorelai, I don't want this to be the end either, but I have to go," and with that he turned around, leaving Lorelai sitting alone one the steps. He heard her sob and begin to weep, but he kept going, he wasn't about to go and comfort her, as much as he wanted to, he knew didn't owe her that, and she didn't deserve that.
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"Something smells good," Lorelai commented as she entered the house and walked into the kitchen. Luke was standing at the stove and she get to the counter and began to unload the groceries she was carrying.
"Hey," he said, walking over to where she was standing and giving her a quick kiss. She smiled as they pulled apart..
"You look very alive," she noted, "Anna didn't kill you, I see."
"Yeah, it was all fine, I guess I was just overreacting a bit."
"A bit?"
"I'm sorry."
"Yeah, yeah," she said lightly. "So," she continued, changing the subject, "what are we having tonight?"
"Well," he said, now back at the oven. "We have pork roast, asparagus, mashed potatoes, and homemade gravy." As he said each item he gestured towards them.
"Yum," Lorelai said. She pulled a large jar out of one of the bags and kept going, "and those will all go great with the home style, chunky applesauce I bought!" Lorelai held the jar in one hand and pretended to show it off, moving her other hand down its side. Luke rolled his eyes and turned back to the food he was preparing.
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After dinner, Luke and Lorelai found themselves sitting on the couch. Lorelai was snuggling close to Luke, and his arm was wrapped around her shoulder. She looked up at him and began to talk. "Luke, I've been thinking…"
"About?"
"Us, I guess."
"Oh no," he said, knowing that not much good ever came out of those simple words.
"Not an 'oh no,' it's a good, 'I've been thinking,'" she assured him.
"Ok, so, what is it?"
Lorelai repositioned herself on the couch so that she was sitting cross-legged and facing Luke.
"Ok, so, I was thinking…"
"So you said."
"I was thinking about us, and Rory, and April, and everything. How great they both are. They're smart and amazing, and just incredible kids. And, you're such a great father to both of them."
Luke opens his mouth to protest that last part, but Lorelai stops him before he has the chance. "Luke, you are. You were the best father Rory could ever have had. You were great, and now you're great with April, so great."
"Lorelai…"
"No, Luke, just let me say all this, please?"
He nodded.
"Good. And about April, it's just so sad that you missed out on thirteen years of her life. You didn't deserve that or anything. I can't imagine not at least giving the guy a choice, not wanting him to be there, you know?"
He nodded again.
"I mean, why would the girl choose to go through that alone, I would have given anything to have had the guy there, to have had him involved, to want to be with Rory. And its so ironic, because you can't imagine the guy not wanting to be there. You'd give anything to have been there, to have been given that option. And if you were given that option, you'd have been there. I wanted so much for the guy to be there, and you so wanted to be there."
Luke was still nodding along, not quite sure where Lorelai was going with all of this rambling.
Lorelai took a deep breath and look straight at Luke. "At least, this time, we'll each get what we deserved." She quickly looked down at her legs and waited for his response, hoping he understood.
"This time?" he questioned, growing very anxious and excited. Lorelai looked back up at him and smiled. "Are you?" he couldn't get the words out. Her smile got bigger and slowly moved her head up and down.
Luke suddenly stood up and went right in front of Lorelai. She adjusted her seating so she was looking up at him, she was smiling still, and Luke now had a grin that stretched straight across his face. Lorelai reached her arms up to him and said, "Up." He pulled her up so that she was standing before him, her hands in his.
"So…wow," he said softly.
"I'm pregnant," she reiterated.
"Yeah."
"So, are you happy, scared?"
"Both."
"But, this is good, right?"
"Amazing," he said, and he moved his hands to her waist and she leaned closer to him. "Amazing," he whispered again before tilting his head to the side and bringing her into a deep kiss.
