Chapter 9

OCEANSIDE WELLNESS

"I know my kissing you did a number on your head, but I figured you'd have at least said hi by now."

Addison had expected that she would have run into Pete Wilder by now, even though she hadn't exactly been looking forward to it. "Good to know your ego hasn't been deflated in two years," Addison said, mostly to buy time.

"My pride's a little hurt though," Pete said with just the slightly bit more seriousness. "I had to hear from Sam that you'd shown up, and he was surprised we hadn't talked by now."

She was here mainly to do some self-reflection. There wasn't much point in putting it off. "You remember how messed up my head was when we first me?" she asked rhetorically. "It's exponentially more so now."

"Professionally, romantically, or biologically?" Now he was being friendly again.

"All of the above," Addison acknowledged. "Since Sam told you I was here, I suppose he also filled you in on some of the other changes."

Pete nodded. "Considering that you're now a working, single parent, I can't exactly blame you for wanting to complicate things more." Now he was completely sober. "And I also know that you're not here for a vacation."

"Did Violet tell you…"

Pete shook his head. "She takes doctor-patient confidentiality as seriously as the rest of us, even if it involves a friend. But you have to remember that being in private practice means you have a more relaxed schedule. And that means you get to watch the news on a semi-regular basis."

Addison couldn't argue with that. The hostage situation at Seattle Grace had been a minor media circus for a few days. No one knew the truth about why the crisis had occurred, but men with guns trying to attack a hospital was one of those things that would make a news-cycle anyway. "So when you heard I showed up, you put two and two together."

Pete nodded. "I know you're sick of hearing this question and I know you're even sicker of having to give variations on the same response, so I'll try a variation of my own: just how shitty the last month been?"

"Officially, I'm here on vacation. Unofficially…" She decided to see if Pete could fill in the blanks on his own.

A look of concern appeared. "Is this voluntary or are they holding your job over your head?"

"I had to be talked into taking this vacation. But I do acknowledge that I need it." Addison said.

"Last time, you took a vacation here Naomi said you were going to start working here. Is that why you came here for therapy?"

"I'm not going to say that I'm not giving this possibility more thought than I did the last time. That being said, you and I took the same psych courses in med school and we know that the geographic escape rarely does anything to resolve traumas."

Pete had deliberately not asked what exactly had happened to Addison a few months ago and he had no intention of pressing her unless she decided to share. So he decided to change the subject slightly. "Can you tell me what the hell was going on Seattle Grace? You don't have to tell me what happened to you in particular, but do you know why it happened?"

Addison gave a small smile. "That's actually one of the reasons I came to LA in the first place. I'm trying to get answers."

Pete looked puzzled for the first time, which was understandable. "Is that why you came here for therapy?"

Addison shook her head. "Honestly, it was more a coincidence of geography than anything else. And for now, I'd appreciate it if you let it go at that."

Pete had learned in their short time together that it was best not to press Addison Montgomery on anything. "I've been through some messes of my own," he said slowly. "I won't pretend my life was as confused as yours was when we first met, but it wasn't exactly in a great place either."

"Are you in a better place?" Addison asked.

He sighed. "Hard to say. I probably could have done with some time with a therapist over the last couple of years. Let's just say for now that my family situation has never been a picnic and leave it there."

"Fair enough."

"That said, I'm not sorry I kissed you." The roguish smile returned. "If you want to find an elevator while you're here…"

"Did you not hear the part about my life being more complicated?"

"Since when has anybody you or I have known ever had a simple one?" Pete asked. "For better or worse – and I admit to parts of either – people like you and me are drawn to complications. I know in my case I seek them out, and I'm pretty sure you do too."

Addison couldn't deny that either. She also couldn't deny the thirty-second kiss she'd had with Pete had led to some pretty graphic dreams even two years after the fact.

"That said, I'm willing to keep it relatively simple. You just want to have coffee after one of your sessions with Violet, I can do that and keep it PG." That smile again. "Mostly."

What the hell. You're on vacation. If that isn't an occasion for meaningless sex, I don't know what is.

Addison didn't immediately throw that thought into a drawer and lock it.

"I might take you up on it." She looked at her watch. "But right now, I have to get the Nae's."

"Lunch?" Pete asked.

"Actually, I'm about go to a playdate in the park."

She braced for follow-up questions. She got one – and it really wasn't the one she was expecting.

"You're sure your kid isn't mine?"

Addison blinked. "All we did was kiss in an elevator."

Pete smiled. "I've done more with less."

GRIFFITH PARK

"I guess I don't get any babysitting money this week," Walt said to Sun.

"Look on the bright side," Jin said. "At least you're old enough to be the one doing the sitting."

Considering the relationship Addison was slowly forming with the rest of the LA contingent of the Oceanics, it actually made sense to have one of the playdates that the parents with young children had. Every couple of days, Jin and Sun would bring Ji Yeon to the park while Nadia and Sayid would bring their one-year old Najeev. When Claire was in town, Aaron would join them. When the Hume's flew in from England, young Charlie would come along. James half-joked that at some point they might be able to film a reality series: Oceanics: The Next Generation.

Still, it was rare for the parents to feel comfortable with children who were outside the inner circle. Perhaps it was residual paranoia, but after everything they'd been through they were all entitled to a little of that. It took a lot of effort for the Jarrahs to feel comfortable hiring a nanny to work for them even part-time.

That said, it was hard for any of them to have an issue with Addison bringing her son over for what amounted to a group play-date. She wasn't quite in the inner circle yet, but the fact that Jack and the rest of the Seattle group were willing to trust her with their secrets counted for a lot.

Today, it was just the two sets of parents but Walt, who every so often did baby set for Jin and Sun, had asked his father if he could tag along. Michael was going back to art school to try and realize the dream that he'd had to let dissolve when Susan had taken Michael away from him. He was in the middle of trying to get some paintings together that Sun had said she'd be willing to showcase in her gallery when he had enough.

Besides, Walt knew that one of the reasons Addison had come to this outing was to see if she could get more of her questions answered. You didn't have to be special to know that she was already curious, and he actually thought he might be able to answer some.

Jin looked at Walt. "Strange isn't it," he said to the boy. "Back on the island, your father left you in Sun's care half the time, even though he didn't think she could understand a word he said. Now here we are, and the shoe's on the other foot."

The two of them were standing a few feet away, where the women were watching their young children play.

"Do you think I should tell her yet?" Walt asked. They had told her some stories about the island, and Addison knew about some of the experiments that were done. But none of them had mentioned Walt's powers or why the Others had abducted him yet.

"What does John think?" Jin countered.

Locke hadn't shown up today. Locke and Helen were in the middle of what they would only describe as a 'special mission'.

"He says it's my secret and that I should tell when I think it's the right time," Walt said thoughtfully.

"Callie didn't have a problem with it," Jin said. "And according to Jack and Juliet, neither have Izzie or Karev. Why do you think Addison will react any differently?"

"Because she's a mother," Walt said simply. "And that might mean she thinks I'm…"

He trailed off.

Walt had never spoken that much to anybody outside of his father about Susan's death or what she had ever thought of her son. Everyone knew that Michael had flown to Sydney to take custody of Walt after his mother had died from a sudden illness. Michael had not told anybody why Susan's husband had not wanted custody of Walt, nor why he had flown to New York immediately after his wife's death to basically fob off custody of the child he raised for ten years. It was clearly still a wound that had not remotely scabbed over for either father or son.

Michael had confided in Jin that before getting on the plane, he had panicked and called his mother. He had been full of doubts back then and Walt had ended up hearing them.

Walt, in turn, had confided in his father that he thought Bryan had brought Michael to him because he somehow blamed Walt for his mother's death. It was the kind of irrational action that you expect a child to have for your parent. But Bryan had been stock still during the funeral and had left his 'son' with the nanny less than an hour after the funeral was over. It was a major trauma to a child who'd already suffered through a huge one, and neither he nor his father was remotely prepared for what had happened. The fact that Susan had intercepted every one of the postcards and letters Michael had sent Walt didn't incline him to be sympathetic to the mother of his child, even three years after her death.

Walt and Michael had managed in the last year and a half, with a fair amount help from the other Oceanics, to finally build a father-and-son relationship. But a large part of that had come at the cost of how Walt had felt about his mother and while he felt comfortable around his surrogate family, he was not particularly comfortable around others. He managed to make some friends his own age in school, but he had always felt awkward around their parents. Part of it was due to his quasi-celebrity status, but a lot of it was his own baggage. A few people were aware of the irony. So many of them had ended up on the island because of their issues with their parents. Walt hadn't really had any before he'd come to the island, but thanks to everything that had happened, he definitely had them now.

"If it makes you feel any better, she's only a recent mother," Jin reminded Walt. "And she didn't seem to have an issue so far."

"I know," Walt said.

Jin had avoided the question, but now was the time to ask. "Do you sense anything off about her?" he put forth gently.

Walt shook his head vigorously. "It's not her, it's me," he said slowly. "Can we just hang back a little for now?"

"All right." Jin hesitated. "But she's not going anywhere. And we all know what happens when we hide from our fears."

LGLGLG

"It was something close to the opposite of where you were," Sun was telling Addison. "According to our doctor, Jin was infertile when we got married."

"And the island – fixed that problem," Addison had heard this from Juliet but was still having difficulties accepting it.

"And basically left me with a new one," Sun said. "If we hadn't been rescued when we had been, there's a good chance I would never have left the island."

Addison knew there was some part of this that Sun wasn't telling her, but she didn't expect all the secrets to be revealed in the fourth, or even the twentieth meeting she had with the Oceanics. She knew that if and when they were comfortable, they'd tell her what they thought she should know."

"The thing is when the doctor told us he lied. He said that I was the infertile one." Sun shook her head. "When he finally confessed, he said that he could not tell the husband of a man who worked for my father that kind of news."

This explained what Addison suspected without her having to tell her directly. It also reminded her of something worse. "But of course telling the daughter of your father, that was perfectly fine," she said sarcastically.

"You do know who my father was?"

"It shouldn't matter if he was a saint or a sinner," Addison shook her head. "I don't know enough about Korean culture to know how enlightened it is compared with the rest of the world, but I know enough about my culture to know that we're considered enlightened and it still counts for far too much."

"You should consider yourself fortunate all the same," Sun said gently. "Where I come from, the idea of a woman having a child out of wedlock would lead to some form of ostracism in society."

"And where I came from, just being in that condition could have led to being stoned to death," Sayid pointed out.

"I realize that." Addison paused. "That said, I can't imagine it's always been a picnic raising your son here."

Sayid didn't deny it. "Part of it has been due to the fact that sometimes I'm terrified of the kind of father I'll become."

Nadia grasped her husband's arm. "You're not that kind of person."

"I know," Sayid looked at his wife with fondness. "But sometimes, it's hard to wonder about who you are and whether you pass your sins down from one generation to the next."

"You're not still thinking about him, are you?" Nadia's tone was full of scorn.

"I believe there's an American saying about apples not falling far from trees," Sayid said bitterly.

"I know what you mean." Everyone looked at Addison. "I'm not saying that my parents inflicting anywhere near the kinds of abuse that so many of you have over the years, but I've come to realize over the last several months that my family may have become just as messed up because of who my parents are."

"That's a high bar to cross, believe me," Sun said with a small smile.

"My parents are the highest class of society," Addison said slowly. "My father, the Captain is from the class of New Englanders that have provides Senators and Congressman. My mother, Bizzy, is from the most elite families in Boston. Their wedding and marriage has been the one that all of a certain kind of family idolize. And it's a complete fiction. I've always known that, of course, but it was only recently I learned how truly deep the rot is."

"You don't have to tell us if you don't want too," Sayid could sense there was pain in this story. Not the kind of his upbringing, but he was well-attuned enough to know when a person was carrying baggage. "Just because we've shared some of our most painful stories doesn't make it transactional."

Addison shook her head. "In my most recent therapy session, Violet asked me if there was something in me that felt that when the worst thing possible happened to me, my natural inclination was to ignore it and bury it deep. It hit me like a ton of bricks when I realized that's more or less what I've been doing when it comes to my parent's marriage. I've known since I was eight years that my parents were lying to me about being a happy family, and I just ignored it. This may be the reason I ignored all the warning signs around me after I was held at gunpoint. It's definitely why I destroyed my marriage. I'm not the kind of person who believes all their problems can be held at the feet of their parents. But in this case, there's an excellent chance that some of them are."

"Then tell us," Nadia said with some encouragement.

"My father has always been unfaithful to my mother," Addison said simply. "I'm not sure when exactly I first began to realize, but by the time I was a teenager I'd been to enough society soirees to notice that he had a habit of disappearing with a female socialite in the middle of it and reappearing an hour later. As I got older, I noticed that those same socialites got younger and I started avoided bringing some of my girlfriends over the holidays."

Everyone winced. "Your friend, Naomi," Sayid asked gently.

"I made it clear fairly early in our friendship that if my father so much as did anything untoward to Naomi, I was going to break my silence and tell my mother everything."

"Did your mother know?" Nadia asked.

Sun chose to answer. "There are some families, even in my father's circle, who see no problem if a man has a wife at home and a mistress in another village. I imagine the same is true in Boston society as it is in Seoul."

"The main difference being it's been out in the open for longer," Addison agreed. "My mother was a Forbes. From what I understand, my grandfather had a similar wandering eye when she was a child and my grandmother took a 'boys will be boys' attitude. I merely assumed that my mother was just following her family's tradition of not speaking about the things that everybody else knew about. It didn't occur to me for a moment that she had secrets of her own."

The others heard this but weren't sure what she meant. "I realize that the world we live in, a man can sleep with as many women as he wants too, but if a woman ever does the same it's considered a violation of some unwritten rule," Sun said slowly.

"And if she'd had lovers of her own, I would have been offended but I could have wrapped my head around it," Addison said carefully. "Honestly, I assumed that's why she never complained. But about six months, I learned the real reason and I'm still kind of recovering from it."

"How bad is it?" Nadia asked gently.

Addison took her time. "My mother has a secretary whose been part of the family my entire life. Susan Grant and my mother have known each other since private school. She was always there, basically little more than the help, part of the scenery."

She hesitated again. "My brother Archer is a neurologist. He's as gifted as I am in his feel, and he's far more broken then I am. Because he's one of the best in his field, multiple hospitals have been willing to hire him despite his tendencies to carouse and have affairs with members of the staff, some of whom may be married at the time. Every time, he comes and visits he's drunk half the time and there's a good chance he resents me because my parents have made little secrets that I'm the 'good' child."

"Even after your marriage broke up," Sayid said.

"Honestly, I hadn't talked to them since before the divorce became final," Addison admitted. "Archer came to visit once Derek and I finalized the divorce to take me to get drunk to forget. Since he would have done the same thing had we successfully reconciled, I didn't take him up on his offer, and I waited up that night for him to come back home."

"There's an old saying, 'three sheets to the wind.' That night Archer was at least four. While I was lying him down on the couch, he mumbled that he was proud of me."

"'Yeah, I wrecked my marriage twice. Good for me.'"

"He shook his head so hard it almost came loose. 'For recognizing that there's no point in keeping something going that has no life in it. God knows our parents have never done that."

"'Archer knew as well as I did about our father's affairs, so I figured it was more of the same. Then he kept mumbling. 'I don't know why she bothers to hide it. It's legal.'"

"I couldn't process what he was saying. 'What do you mean?"

"They live in Massachusetts, for God sakes. It's not like it's the fifties anymore."

"My mind couldn't function. It was like a circuit in my head had just stopped processing. 'Who are you talking about?'" I stammered.

"You know," he said, as if it was obvious. 'Bizzy and Susan."

"He was lucky we were over the sofa because the shock was so great I let go of his head. I think I went into shock because I barely remember the rest of Archer's visit. I think I went through the motions for the next couple of days, because the next clear memory I have is that I got plastered at Joe's a couple of days later. And then I got the nerve to call the one person who would tell me the truth." She paused. "Susan."

"Not your mother," Sayid said carefully.

"I knew my mother would just deflect," Addison hesitated. "And if I'm being honest, my upbringing betrayed me. I knew that a Susan Grant would never dare defy the direct questioning of a Montgomery."

Sun couldn't help but acknowledge the parallels between her family and Addison's. The caste system was alive and well in America.

"I called her and I'm kind of impressed my voice was completely level considering both how drunk and I afraid I was. She answered on the second ring.

"How long have you been screwing my mother?' That's how I put it. Part of it was I was drunk but part of was I knew if I used a euphemism she'd deny it."

"You were counting on shock value." Sayid said, almost respectfully.

"'She didn't hesitate. 'We've been friends for forty years," she said.

"I pretended I didn't know what she was saying. "'How long have you been…"

'We've been friends for forty years.' There was no question about the implication now."

"I'd already known my parent's marriage was a lie. I don't know why it shocked me that everything about my family had been too. I don't know why I asked the next question. 'Does the Captain know?'"

"Susan actually took a pitying tone. 'Addison, why do you think she's been letting him get away with it all this time?'"

"I don't remember hanging up or even getting home that night."

By now, everybody on the flight was inured to the horrible parental relationships outsiders seemed to have. Still Sayid and Sun had to admit this was a lot. "I'm guessing you still haven't confronted your parents about this," Sun asked.

"We're the Montgomery's. We live in a state of denial." Addison acknowledged. "I'll admit, I could come to the next society affair and publicly out my mom, but I know their circle too well. That's why I've gone out of my way to avoid family gatherings ever since I graduated from med school."

"Are your parents not impressed by your success?" Sun knew what Addison had said, but she knew far too well what it meant to grow up in a culture where women were considered second-class citizens.

"My father's at least admires my skill as a surgeon. My mother was satisfied to know I was one of the best in my circle. You know, something to brag about at afternoon tea." Addison shook her head. "Neither has been thrilled that their grandchild was essentially conceived out of wedlock. And I have not wanted Stanley to know the kind of people their grandparents are." She paused. "Which I guess is one of the subtler reasons I arranged for this play-date."

It might not have prearranged but neither Sayid nor Sun could deny that Addison hadn't asked the right people. Sun decided to seize the bull by the horns. "How much do you know about who my parents are?" she began.

Addison didn't mince words. "I know that your father is fairly high up in the Korean equivalent of organized crime," she said.

Sun appreciated Addison's candor and didn't mince words. "For the longest time I knew what my father was capable of," she began slowly. "Jin was aware of it when we began our courtship, but I imagine he was willing to look the other way because he loved me and his sense of honor. I assume you know by now how much that ended up wrecking our marriage by the time we got on the flight to Sydney."

"I know that you were planning to run away at the airport," Addison said gently.

"Jin was too. The difference was, he planned to take me with him. Neither of us knew that my father had a man tailing us at the time." Sun said bluntly. "My husband later told me that he honestly thought the island may have been the only place in the world where my father could not find us. I don't know if my mother was ever aware of my father's criminal aspects or whether she engaged in the same 'willful blindness' you accused your circle of showing. All I know for certain is that she only cared about me finding a rich husband. If she was disappointed that I chose a lowly laborer for my life-mate, she hid it as well as my father did. And as long as she is willing to stand my him even now, she will never meet Ji Yeon."

By now, Jin and Walt had walked over and heard Sun discussion of her parents.

"That must have been a difficult decision," Addison was saying.

"It wasn't easy for either of us," Jin told them. "It helped matters that my father has been supportive all this time."

"Is he still in Korea?" Addison had turned to Jin.

Jin shook his head. "After we came back to civilization, I took her to see him. I had lied to her about my family because I was ashamed of covering from such an impoverished background."

"I'm a little less clear on this part. What exactly did your father do?" Addison asked politely.

"He's a fisherman. The village that I come from in very small and poor. It's actually been shrinking quite a bit even while I was living there," Jin told them. "There was little hope for advancement there. It's one of the reason I joined the army. It was my best chance at advancement."

Addison nodded. "And when you met Sun, you told them your parents were…"

"I told them they were both dead," Jin said, ashamed. "For all I know my mother is, I never knew her. But I didn't think that the head of Paik Automotive would deign to let his daughter marry the son of a fisherman."

A look of shame crossed Sun's face as well. "We both know that we wouldn't have survived the island without the skills your father taught you," she reminded him.

Jin nodded. "I went to visit my father about a week before we got on the plane," he said slowly. "I hated the man I was becoming. He urged me to walk away because my marriage had to be more important than what I did. He told me to run, even though it meant he'd never see me again."

Addison found herself wiping her eye. "I guess someone on the flight actually had a loving parent."

Jin nodded. "After everything we'd gone through on the island, coming from a poor background didn't really matter anymore. I took her to see him, and after Ji Yeon was born, we helped him move to Los Angeles with us. He helps me run the charter company now."

"My father is dead," Sayid said simply. "But even if he were alive, I wouldn't let him anywhere near me or my family."

Addison knew that she didn't have to ask any more questions, and it wasn't as if she needed to. Even knowing what little she did about Sayid, she knew his father had been horribly abusive.

"Though I'll confess that I'm planning to go into therapy myself," Sayid admitted. "I've been thinking about it for a while, and honestly based on what Hugo has told me I could probably use some."

"From what Jack and some of the others have told me, that's another common thread you all have," Addison mentioned.

"We're aware of that," Sun said. "There's a phrase you use in the states, there isn't a Korean equivalent: 'turning into your parents.' Quite a few of us share that concern."

"It's actually a little different in my sense." Sayid hesitated. "I only had a rudimentary understanding of genetic science but based on what Jack has told me about his battles with alcohol, I know that certain behaviors can be passed down from generation to generation."

"And you're afraid your father passed some of his horrible behavior to you," Addison said.

"No. I fear that they've gotten worse when they were passed down to me."

"Sayid." Nadia cupped her husband's face in her hands. "You're not that kind of person."

"I've spent the last two years not being that person," Sayid said gently. "But the fact remains, for a very long time I was capable of being that kind of man. The kind of man capable of torturing women, even one he loves. The kind of person capable of lying and deceiving a good man in order to get what he wants. The kind of man who is capable of great levels of violence and who can justify and compartmentalize them. I am a good man, Nadia. But I can also be weak."

"It usually takes at least half a dozen sessions with a great therapist to get that far," Addison wasn't entirely joking. "If you have that level of self-awareness, that's half the battle won."

Sayid nodded. "It's just…" He hesitated. "There are far too many examples of my father's cruelty to mention, but I'll just pick one that perhaps demonstrates it the most. One day, when Omar was thirteen, my father demanded that he prove his manhood. By his definition, that meant you had to kill something. So he sent him into the chicken coop and told him to get us dinner. Omar wasn't able to do it, so I put my arm around him, took out the chicken, and snapped its neck. I don't think I even thought twice about it."

"My father came out and congratulated Omar. He immediately pointed at me. My father turned to me and just said: 'Well, at least one of my sons will be a man.' That may be the only time that I remember him being unabashedly proud of me. I don't know which part of that story scares me more."

"And you're afraid that when Najeev gets old enough, you might find yourself sending him on a similar test," Addison asked.

"Nadia keeps assuring me that I'm not the kind of man anymore. And I try to believe that. But I keep thinking that there might have been some point in my father's life when he thought the exact same thing about himself when he had his first son."

"If you're looking for me to reassure you on that score, I'm not sure I can," Addison admitted. "I spent so much of my adult life swearing I would never be like my father, and now it turns out that when it comes to fidelity, I'm exactly like him and so's Archer. And even though I never met Ellis Grey, I have a feeling that her daughter may have at least ended up partially the way she is because of how her mother raised her."

"And I won't lie, either" Sun added. "I worry more than I want to admit that I am my father's daughter. There have been times in my life when I have been as deceptive, manipulative, and ruthless as him. And that's before you take in to account the fact that I was capable of violence."

Addison didn't know this part of it; Sayid and Jin clearly did. "You were acting in self-defense," Jin reminded his wife gently.

"The last thing Colleen said before I pulled the trigger was that our people weren't enemies, but if I shot her we would be. And I still did it." Sun countered.

"We know that all of those people were masters of deception. And given everything that had happened before, it's hard to argue that we weren't already," Even this far removed from the island, Sayid had never truly left his old position on the Others.

"Are you following this?" Addison asked Nadia.

"Half the time I don't think they even are," Nadia admitted.

"Anyway, I realize this isn't exactly the most comforting answer to your question," Addison replied to Sayid.

"It's all right. I appreciate your honesty," Sayid said. "It's more comforting than some of the cliches my friends have given the last year or so. At least, I know you're worried about it too."

"We have to learn from our parents mistakes." Sun said. "And at least ours made enough that we know what not to do."

Just then, her phone rang. She took it out. "Hello Kate." The smile that appeared when talking to her friend grew slightly confused. "No, John and Helen are out and Michael's still at school, but the rest of us are here." She hesitated. "So's Addison."

"Is this private?" Addison said.

Sun held up her hand. "You're sure? Ok." She took the phone away from her ear. "She says she doesn't have a problem with you knowing this part."

She put the phone on speaker. "Go ahead."

"Addison, if you still have any doubts about wanting to know this part of the story, now may be your last best chance to get out." Kate's tone was half kidding, half serious.

"Half my friends are neck deep in this; I'm not sure what I gain by staying in the shallow end," Addison said.

"Funny you should mention that. You've heard about Meredith Grey's latest research project?"

"Not as much as the others. It seems to be the property of the next generation of interns," Addison reminded her.

"With good reason. One of the key partners is Ben."

Addison had known who he was even before Juliet had gone into somewhat greater detail about him on the last visit. She wasn't sure which part of this was weirder: that Meredith, Izzie, and Karev were collaborating with him on a clinical trial or the person that everybody on the island had absolutely hated somehow had become friends with these people to the point he actually seemed to respect their opinions. According to Jack, this was far stranger than anything that anybody had seen on the island. "Would he be willing to answer questions about the people who put a gun to my head were?"

"At this point, I'm not prepared to rule it out," Kate sounded befuddled. "That's the main reason I called. On his last meeting, he was more willing than ever to hand over anything he knew about the island. And because he knows that none of us believe him, he's also willing to provide a visual aid."

Sayid, who still trusted Ben the least, actually blinked at this. "You're saying he has a copy of an Orientation film."

"I know how reluctant you are to trust him. But I've seen the disc the film was on. And I'm pretty sure its genuine."

"Why?" Sun asked.

"Because Jack, James and I spent a week as his guests at this particular station. I know what the Dharma icon for the Hydra looks like."

AUTHOR'S NOTES

For those of you who don't remember Private Practice Pete was the holistic doctor as Oceanside who kissed Addison very deeply on her visit in the back-door Pilot to Grey's and was a possible love interest for much of the first season and off and off much of the rest of the way but they both ended up with different partners (until…no, I reject the final season). Could Addison end up with Pete this time around? I haven't ruled it out.

Jin and Sun spent a lot of time with Walt in Season 1. I figured that wouldn't have changed now that all of them were back in civilization. And Michael had dreams of being an artist before life got in the way. I figure why not let him realize it.

I didn't realize until I began writing this chapter that Addison's family life was nearly as dysfunctional as everyone who got on the plane and quite a bit more than some of the people at the hospital. Everything I've told you about the state of her parents' marriage and the infidelities of Archer was all revealed in Season 3 of Private Practice, and actually ended up being far messier when all the truth came out in real life. I'm not saying it will necessarily be fixed here, though, some situations are too wrecked even for fiction to fix. But Addison needed to work through it.

We all know that everything Sun and Jin told us about their family's was canon (Jin still doesn't know the truth about the woman claiming to be his mother and never will in this story) and we all remember the opening scene in 'He's Our You.' All of them are trying to deal with their horrible childhoods as they become parents, and I thought it was time to discuss it.

I never bought for a minute that when Colleen threatened Sun in 'The Glass Ballerina' that they weren't enemies at that point. Too much had already happened for the two sides not to be. Still, Sun must have had doubts about it the same as any of them.

Yes, we're about to have a viewing of sorts at Seattle Grace, followed by a discussion group in the next chapter. But I'm also going to try and deal with the other Kate Austin who I've let sit on the sidelines the last couple of chapters. Whether she'll fit in with the overarching Lost plot, I'm not sure whether it will happen in this story.

Read and review!