I wrote most of this chapter while fighting my way through a depression-fuelled funk, and I'm feeling pretty proud of that. Usually that sort of thing tends to just shut me right down.
Chapter 20: Party People
I take pride in saying that as a general rule I consider myself to be pretty good at handling social situations. It may seem an odd thing to be proud of to some people, but considering the way I used to be it's taken a fuckton of work to get to this point. I'm still not the greatest at handling aggression or really social confrontation in general, since my defaults tend to be withdrawing quietly or just acting like a lunatic (the latter has been happening more often as my stress levels have been increasing). But nowadays regular conversation is a simple matter, and drama is something I like to think I handle well if I'm not stuck in the middle of it.
Abso-fucking-lutely none of the above applies to parties though.
Khan Flavia is holding what must be the biggest bash in Regna Ferox history right now, and I can safely say I want nothing to do with it. Which honestly kinda ticks me off because I seem to be the only one in the room who isn't feeling totally at home.
It comes as no surprise though, really. The Shepherds are all sociable people, especially the ones currently assembled. They drink, they laugh, they dance, and they are just generally the life of the party. Except for me, the total wallflower who is currently suffering from a severe overdose of people.
Should have expected that my performance would draw some attention. But the thought of having to entertain people's questions about it somehow never crossed my mind. Getting swarmed by drunken Feroxi even less so. Guess I decided to just think happy thoughts instead of dwelling on the inevitable fallout?
I suppose Lissa and Sumia rescued me in a way. I was damn near the end of my patience before they started dancing and distracted everyone enough for me to sneak off to a dark corner.
I've been here for about ten minutes now and I'm swiftly coming to the realization that I'll have to make my escape soon. Hiding in the corner has taken the attention of the Feroxi off of me well enough, but as I watch Lissa and Sumia in the middle of the room I see Lissa's eyes dart to me increasingly often. It's only a matter of time before she comes to interrogate me.
Or worse. Try to drag me in. Last girl who tried to pull me into a dance wound up so horrifically disappointed she wouldn't talk to me for a week. I guess she saw it as an insult when I panicked and refused to get out of my seat.
I can't help but see this as another such incident waiting to happen. Lissa's an absolute delight to be around, but she's also a very sociable, energetic person. And I've got entirely too much energy around me already. Better to leave before she gets any ideas about getting me to cut loose.
It's a shame though. For all that I don't like parties, I do like to see the others having fun. There's something very beautiful about watching Lissa and Sumia whirl in circles in the center of a large crowd of dancers, skirts flying around their ankles. And the music is wonderful, with fiddles, dulcimers, drums, flutes, pipes, and an enthusiastic melodeon player, all eagerly playing and practically dancing themselves.
People whoop and holler as Sumia and Lissa leap into the air, and I can't help but grin at the sight of it. I have to wonder where they learned to dance like that, since I have little doubt the Ylissean instructors prefer something entirely more formal.
Maybe I'll ask them to teach me sometime. I always shied away from dancing classes in school, but it might be nice.
Another day though.
I turn away from the others and make to leave, and damn near crash into a woman in the process.
"Eep!" She squeaks as she narrowly darts out of the way, and I frantically hop on one foot as I lean heavily to one side. She's a tiny thing, at least a foot shorter than me.
"Shit, sorry!" I blurt out, barely managing to catch myself. "Totally didn't see you there."
"Oh, no! It's my fault really, I should have said something." The girl looks up at me with a shaky smile and I find myself struggling to keep my jaw from dropping. Good lord she's beautiful! Fair skin, soft pink hair, timid in a way that makes you want to protect her, but beautiful in a way that draws out… entirely less innocent thoughts. That outfit doesn't help, she is showing a lot of skin for this time of year, even if the room is warm enough!
Jesus fuck, enough of that you creep. I shake my head to get my thoughts back on track, resisting the urge to slap myself, since I'm sure it would only alarm the poor girl. Another glance at her reduces that urge, and I clap my cheeks several times.
"Um, are you alright?" The girl, who can only be Olivia, asks timidly.
"Yeah, sorry." I smile even as my cheeks burn with pain. "Just… needed to wake up a little. Long day, you know?" I chuckle disarmingly.
"I can imagine." Olivia giggles sweetly. "After your performance earlier I'm sure you must be exhausted!"
"Ah, you… you saw that?" I grin. "What am I saying, of course you did. Pretty sure most of Regna Ferox was watching."
"I did see it, yes!" Olivia smiles eagerly. "I was very impressed. You have a very impressive stage presence, to sing like that in front of so many people. I was hoping to talk to you about it, but there were so many people crowding around earlier that I didn't really get a chance."
Aha, so this is basically a business call for her. "Well, ask away!" I smile warmly, and hold up a hand. "My name's Ben, by the way. It's a pleasure to meet you, miss…?"
"Oh! I'm sorry, I forgot to introduce myself! My name's Olivia." She tentatively takes my hand, and I give it a light shake before withdrawing. She looks so frail a part of me worries I'd break her wrist if I gripped too hard.
It turns out to be a lovely conversation, once I manage to stop acting like a creep and think with my head instead of my dick. She asks questions about the style of music to start with, like most of the others did, but from there it becomes far more in-depth, refreshingly so. I don't reveal to her that I'm from the Outrealms, but I do make it clear that my music is from a different country far away from here, and that I based much of the performance on similar shows from home.
And from there the conversation expanded into discussions of stage lighting, instrumentation, choreography, musical theater, and more. It's… liberating, really. Olivia, while certainly timid, knows her stuff better than most, and as a former drama nerd/band geek I find myself getting more into the conversation than most I've had about my past. Others, like Lissa and Robin, have shown interest before, but Olivia seems to know exactly which questions to ask to draw me in deeper.
I'm in the middle of explaining the plot of 'West Side Story' to her when it comes to a rather abrupt halt, as Basilio suddenly yells out.
"OI OLIVIA, WHERE THE HECK DID YOU GO?"
Olivia jumps a little at the voice, and breaks out into an exasperated smile. "I guess it's time for me to perform."
"Damn. I suppose we'll have to pick this up some other time then." I shrug.
"Yes, I'll probably be dancing for a while. Basilio likes showing me off."
"I guess Khan Basilio doesn't want to end the day without something to brag about." I grin.
"Oh, stop!" She giggles, lightly shoving me. "I suppose it's true though. He's like a father, almost. Always bragging about how good I am. It's a load of nonsense of course, I'm still not very good, but it makes him happy, and I enjoy doing it, so…"
"I suppose I'll have to see for myself."
"Oh there's no need!" Olivia replies, looking suddenly nervous. "I've kept you long enough, really." At a questioning glance from me she elaborates, "Well I noticed you were about to leave when I got in your way. You were eyeing the door for a while."
"I had no idea I had such a fervent admirer!" I tease.
"Oh! Oh, no, it was nothing like that, really! I just, I was working up the courage to speak to you. I'm really not very confident at speaking to people."
"I know what you mean." I chuckle. "There was a reason I've been sitting in the corner."
At this, an expression of something akin to wonder appears on Olivia's face, but before she can say anything else-
"OLIVIA! COME ON GIRL, DON'T KEEP ME WAITING! I ALREADY LOOK FOOL ENOUGH IN FRONT OF THE NEW KHAN!" The room erupts in laughter at his remark.
Olivia jumps again, and sighs. "I should go. Could we… possibly talk again sometime?"
"I'd like that." I smile. "And I'm sure we'll have the opportunity soon enough. Our nations are allied now, after all."
"That's true!" Olivia beams up at me. "Until next time then, Ben." She flows easily through the crowd towards the table where Chrom sits with the Khans.
Well that was refreshing.
"My, my! Who knew our friend Ben had such a way with the ladies!" A voice calls out from behind me.
"There's a laugh." I roll my eyes and turn to face Virion, who grins cheekily at me. "Virion, I am a great many things, but I will never be an accomplished lady-killer."
"So you say, but the results…" He turns to watch Olivia leave appreciatively. "They speak a different story. She is beautiful, is she not? A dreadfully shy thing though. I attempted to speak to her earlier and found myself rather thoroughly rejected before I could finish my hello!"
"Sorry to say Virion, she's probably heard every line you can think of before. And then some." I grin back. "I imagine she has the eye of every noble lord in Regna Ferox. Probably a good number of the ladies, too."
"Now there is a lovely picture for the mind's eye!" Virion chuckles along. "Just as well. She does not strike me as the sort to indulge in more, shall we say… temporary pleasures."
"Whereas you are wholly dedicated to that sort of thing." I reply.
"You wound me, my friend!" Virion frowns. "I am entirely open to settling down, I'll have you know. I simply have yet to meet the right woman. Am I to be blamed for enjoying myself in the meantime?"
"Eh, I suppose not." I shrug my shoulders. "As long as the women you enjoy yourself with know what they are in for."
"And they always do, I assure you!" Virion nods emphatically. "In this land, I am not the sort of man one introduces to their family. I am more of a… foreign delicacy. The sort to be enjoyed briefly, before one settles down properly."
"Well that hardly paints you in a positive light." I smirk. "Hell, I'm pretty sure you basically just insulted yourself there."
"There is nothing wrong with fulfilling such a role." Virion shrugs. "It is not as though I get nothing from the deal. Sex is an enjoyable thing, and I have made many a friend through these little… trysts."
"I'll take your word for it, I guess." I reply. "I'm the sort of guy who prefers to wait for the right woman to come along before I indulge."
"Commendable, certainly. A fine way to go about things." Virion nods, before giving me a sharp look. "But not the only way."
"…Fair enough. I suppose I'm just old-fashioned." Which is truly ironic, given my circumstances. "Sorry if I offended you, man."
"Think nothing of it my friend. You are certainly more accepting of this than many I've known." Virion nods along.
"Well, I certainly trust you well enough not to involve yourself with a woman who isn't interested. So if the women aren't opposed to your attentions, it'd be stupid for me to be." I reply.
"Your open-mindedness does you credit, my friend." Virion smiles, before glancing back towards the crowd. "Ah, it seems your new-found friend is about to begin her performance!"
I look up and see that a large space has been cleared in the middle of the room for Olivia to dance in. To the side, a large harp has been brought in.
"I wasn't going to bust out this little number, but after that performance from the lovely girls earlier, I figured we really need to knock your socks off!" Basilio declares to Chrom with a grin.
Then to my absolute shock he sits down at the harp and stars checking the tuning on it. After a few moments of plucking at the strings, his hands begin delicately flowing over the strings, and he plucks several beautiful scales nodding in satisfaction.
"He is far from a master, but Khan Basilio is certainly an accomplished player." Virion whispers, noting my surprise. "From what I have heard, it's a hobby he took up after he began to look after his fair dancer. Poetic, is it not? Even such a peerless warrior cannot see such beauty and fail to be enthralled."
I suppose if you spend your days around Olivia you'd want to bring some more beauty into your life, yeah. Still, the sight of this one-eyed, shirtless, mountain of a man plucking at harp strings with such accuracy is really something to behold.
And then, once he's settled in, he turns to Olivia, nods, and starts playing in earnest. And she immediately begins moving.
It's not something I can put into words and do justice. Musical terms would be too clinical for what I see and hear, and I don't know the slightest thing about dancing.
It's organic, and yet not. Olivia twists and turns around the room in a way that seems natural, yet stilted and jarring in a way that feels almost inhuman. When she leaps she seems to hang in the air, as though gravity has abandoned her. When she steps the air seems to shimmer behind her. When she spins it's with beautiful, violent grace. It's alluring, and yet I feel as though approaching would be dangerous. Like a dancing flame.
Or the swirling white expanse of a blizzard outside a glass window. Yes, that feels more appropriate. The song is an ode to winter, to the icy expanse of the north. Olivia dances like snowflakes on the wind, occasionally treading lightly, only to burst into a flurry of movement as the harp sings almost violently. Her face, so warm and kind before, now seems withdrawn and distant. Cold. And as I watch Olivia move I can tell it's not a persona she adopts as much as it is an emotion she feels as the music and her own movements draw it forth. An icy whirlwind of movement that would tear you to pieces were you to brave it, even as it moves lightly across the floor.
The song ends in a flurry of motion from both dancer and player, Basilio's brow furrowed in concentration as he strains to complete the song. His hands, calloused from decades of holding an axe, show a beautiful sort of dexterity as he plays a descending movement. And as the music grows lower Olivia finishes in a slow motion, sliding low across the ground on her knees, bringing her hands together as if in prayer, and slumping to the ground, hair splayed out around her.
There's a pause. Long. Silent. Across the room I see hands raise to clap, and can't help but wince.
Then Basilio, who has yet to lower his arms, reverses course and goes from low to high. Olivia's head rises with it, her arms open welcomingly. The low, somber tones give way to bright, cheerful ones. Olivia remains kneeling, her back arches, and her hair falls behind her. Her arms stretch further back, until her hands brush against the ground behind her. Her dance concludes with her body raised in a beautiful curl, head tilted back until her hair grazes the floor, her breasts pointed to the sky. She pants with exertion, though she beams at the cheerful tone of the harp's final notes.
A blooming flower, and a clear portrayal of beautiful sexuality. New life, essentially, following the cold and beautiful death that is winter. Springtime has come. The song is over. Basilio's arms fall from the harp.
And since the rest of the room seems uncertain after the earlier pause I proudly lead the applause. After a few moments of clapping on my own the others finally seem to clue in that it's for real this time, and start cheering in earnest. Over the mesmerized crowd I see Olivia grin at me, elated with pride.
She should feel proud, too. The dance was wonderfully done; a mesmerizing message of death and renewal, the danger and beauty of nature. A sign of good things to come.
"Ah! It's a message!" I say in sudden understanding.
"Indeed." Virion replies with a smile. "Khan Basilio has passed the torch through this display of art. It was essentially a sign of confidence in the new leader, that a cycle has ended and something wonderful can take its place. Truly an awe inspiring statement to give to our new leader." He nods to Khan Flavia as she laughs and drinks from her goblet. "Though I fear much of said message was lost upon her. A beautiful woman she may be, but Khan Flavia does not appear to share her counterpart's predilection for matters of a more artistic persuasion."
"Kind of a pity." I frown. "Maybe we should explain it to her?"
"Perhaps another day." Virion replies with a smirk. "Khan Flavia seems rather preoccupied at the moment. And after as rapturous a sight as that, I feel that it is time for me to preoccupy myself as well… A good night to you my friend. If anyone asks, do tell them not to come looking for me tonight!"
"Yeah, go get them, oh wondrous 'foreign delicacy'!" I snark back with a grin. Virion laughs in response, and then steps out into the crowd to murmur something into a woman's ear.
I look back to where Olivia was taking her bows to see the woman being introduced to Chrom and Sumia by Basilio. Behind the two of them is a large group of Feroxi, no doubt hopeful suitors. Well, looks like next time for the two of us won't be happening tonight.
I look around the party a moment longer, see the others settle back into socializing and drinking with their neighbours and decide this is as good a time as any to make my escape. I turn to the door just in time to see Virion leaving with a Feroxi woman on his arm.
Damn dude, in its own way that's almost impressive.
The sound of merry-making doesn't go away as I leave the party. It's something that seems to pervade the whole of the arena. Not a surprise since the hallway I'm heading down is filled with people from East Ferox. Outside of the main party there still has to be thousands in this city.
The Arena serves two purposes, in a way. The place holds a massive audience, but it also has space for the VIPs to live in while they visit. I've never been a VIP before in my life, so it's a pretty cool experience in that regard. Though having the Feroxi as my neighbors can be… irritating. They are not conducive to a proper night's sleep, and that tends to piss me off, especially since I have trouble enough sleeping lately as is.
I bring down my-
NOPE not tonight, thank you very much! Down that road leads madness, and fuck me that phrase is feeling way more literal than I'd like lately.
Apparently I need some sort of distraction. Ironic, considering I just left a fucking party of all things. But I've never been to a party that didn't make me feel out of place and lonely, so I still feel like I made the right call leaving when I did.
I return to my room, and grab a fur cloak I took to wearing in the past month. My jacket is pretty warm on its own, but internal heating isn't what it was back home, so I've found warmer clothing to be far more essential here than it used to be.
And with my survival properly handled, I make my way down the halls, heading for the arena.
The arena has a totally different feel in the middle of the night. Without the massive bonfires going or the closely packed masses of people it feels exactly as icy as you'd expect. There's a reason this arena doesn't see much traffic during the winter, succession battles aside. Already snow is drifting down to cover the seats.
The arena does have a roof of sorts, made of retractable lengths of fabric, but it doesn't see use during the winter. If they were to pull out the canopy it would easily collapse under the weight of piling snow. The canopies are instead taken down completely and stored safely away, to be set up again during the arena's brief but busy summer season. No doubt the effort spent in clearing this place for the succession tournament was enormous.
I'd say it's not worth the effort, personally, but the more spiritual people in Ferox believe very strongly in the symbolism of life and death that comes with the New Year. Olivia's dance earlier was one of many examples of this.
At any rate, the cold emptiness of the arena is more than enough to deter most visitors now that there isn't a fight going on anymore. It's a perfect spot for me to get some fresh air and clear my head in peace.
Which is what I think until I emerge onto the balcony and see five heads immediately swivel to face me. Oh good. It's the kids. No doubt having a friendly discussion and not biting each other's heads off.
Hahaha just kidding Severa and Lucina look like they're about to kick the shit out of each other again. Oh well, since I'm already interrupting…
"Severa, Noire! Didn't even realize you were gone. Missed a hell of a dance back there. Did you know Basilio plays the harp?" I walk in with false cheer.
"Oh, h-hello Ben." Noire replies nervously. "Y-yes, you told us about it once in our timeline. He died before any of us got to hear it though."
"That's a shame." I reply earnestly, already forgetting the earlier tension. "It was pretty amazing, honestly. He can seriously play. Missed a few notes, but I doubt anybody else noticed, except for maybe Virion. And Olivia's dance… wow. True art right there."
"Didn't think that somebody like Basilio had the free time to pick up something useless like that." Kjelle comments with a frown. "Why play an instrument when you could be training to get stronger?"
"All work and no play makes Gerome a dull boy." Laurent pipes in.
"…What?" I ask in unison with Kjelle.
Laurent looks up from the book he's reading and gives me a small smile. "I heard you say it once in our timeline, Uncle Ben. I never had the chance to ask at the time, but I assume it means that constant focus on duty without taking proper time for mental recuperation leads to mental stress and a lack of efficiency in combat."
"Huh…" I fold my arms and think on that for a moment. "I suppose that's about the gist of it. Though in the original context the individual the statement referred to lost his mind completely."
"More serious than I thought, then." Laurent frowns. "How very troubling. I hope that isn't indicative of a loss of sanity on Gerome's part."
"Please, I seriously doubt Minerva would let something like that happen." Severa scoffs. "That wyvern spoils him rotten."
"She certainly does. He spends so much time with her it's like he doesn't even know how to talk to people anymore." Noire shudders visibly. "He creeps me right out."
"Really? I've never had any difficulties speaking with him." Laurent replies in confusion.
"Not exactly the best conversationalist yourself there, buddy." Kjelle scoffs.
"Why are you here?"
The discussion comes to an abrupt end as everyone looks to Lucina. "Been holding that one in for a while, haven't you?" I scoff.
"Answer the question." Lucina stares impassively at me.
"Because I hate parties, and wanted some air." I reply coolly.
"So you decided to come here and interrupt our discussion?"
"Whoa there, why the sudden hostility, Lucina?" Kjelle looks over in confusion.
"Maybe she's still mad about all the insults Uncle Ben was yelling earlier." Noire states dryly, giving me a look.
"Well forgive me if I was feeling a bit hostile towards the person who nearly decapitated my daughter." I growl.
"Gawds dad, don't start." Severa groans. "The first time was embarrassing enough! Not to mention suspicious! After all you said about not letting it slip yet, you went and had a big meltdown in front of everybody!"
"Huh." I blink at that. "Okay, I admit, I didn't really think of that at the time. I'm blaming extenuating circumstances though. Seriously Lucina, what the hell were you thinking?"
"I… I wasn't." Lucina has the good grace to look ashamed at that. "I just saw Severa was with the Shepherds and got so mad…" She turns to Severa as she explains. "After all the planning I did, I saw you interfering and all I could think was 'she's going to ruin everything we worked for!' So I just… lashed out. It was a horrible lapse of judgement. I'm sorry."
Lucina bows her head and Severa goes pink with embarrassment. "Lift your head, doofus! I'm fine, you barely scratched me. Besides, I already got you back for that in the arena."
Kjelle snorts at that. "Hell of a punch."
"I was so proud!" I grin.
"Daaaaad, stop it!"
I have no intention of doing so, but the sight of the others sharing a bittersweet smile at the scene changes my mind in a real hurry. Right, they're still waiting for their chances to properly meet their parents. Let's be a bit more tactful for once.
"So Kjelle, was it fun getting to fight your mom?" I change the subject, and Kjelle brightens immediately.
"Hell yeah it was! She was like a wolverine, the way she hit me. If I hadn't caught her off guard I'm sure she would have kicked my ass!"
"Wouldn't surprise me. I still haven't come close to beating her in a spar." I look down at my arms, still somewhat emaciated, and sigh. "Gonna be a long while yet."
"You just need to train harder." Kjelle shrugs. "Try more ab curls, if you work on your core properly the rest is easy!"
"It's… gonna be a while before I can do any training, too." I grimace. "Still technically an invalid, here."
This gets the attention of the others. "What happened?" Lucina asks in sudden interest.
"I had a bad run-in with some slavers." I pull up my shirt and show the others my scar. "Took an arrow through the lung. If it wasn't for Severa I'd probably be dead."
Severa goes pale and averts her eyes at the sight of the injury, and I drop my shirt in a hurry. Noire takes it somewhat better, since she visited me while I was still bandaged up in the infirmary. The others though… Kjelle and Laurent look shocked, and Lucina stares at the spot where my scar was as though it's an affront against nature.
"That shouldn't be possible." Lucina protests almost indignantly. "You never received an injury like that in our timeline. How could this happen?"
I frown at her. "Basic rules of time travel kiddo; the smallest of actions cause chain reactions that change things in ways you could never imagine. By coming here you've already set things off their original tracks. Remember that fire the night you arrived?"
"But, but surely an event this large couldn't be caused just by our presence? This can't be right!" Lucina is growing increasingly pale, and I feel my frown deepen.
"Okay, just how much did I tell you all about time travel?" I look around at the future kids.
"You taught just about everyone something for when they returned." Kjelle nods. "In my case it was a lesson on common tactics employed by brigands and how to fight them. Came in handy, too!"
"How so?"
"I had this master, who took me in after I showed up about a year ago. He took me in and trained me while I was recovering from the trip over. Then a few months after I arrived we had a run-in with some bandits. Real low-life scumbags, who challenged my master to a duel. And then I remembered your advice, and realized he was about to pull some shady bullshit. Turns out he had a hostage, so he could force my master to surrender. But since I realized it was coming we were able to save the girl and deal with him!"
"Huh… well I'm glad it worked out so well for you then." I nod thoughtfully. More than well, it sounds like an entire paralogue of the game was averted by this.
"My case was not nearly so dramatic." Laurent speaks up. "You simply taught me about cartography. It was your belief that it would well suit my role as manager of group logistics. It was a lucky thing, since I was released in the middle of the Pyrathi Desert. I was able to use my mapping abilities to escape. This was… roughly three years ago."
Severa and Noire gasp at this. "I was wondering why you looked so much older!" Severa points a finger accusingly. "Using time travel, that's totally cheating!"
"Hey, think how we felt!" Kjelle smirks. "Before this happened Lucina and I were the oldest in the group!"
"Alright, we're getting off subject." I look towards the remaining three. "Severa, your knowledge was mostly information to deliver me, right?"
"Pretty much." Severa shrugs. "Delivered it a couple years early, but as far as I'm concerned that just means I did a way better job than you were expecting." Lucina sends a withering glare at this, which is casually ignored.
"A-and I mostly learned techniques for camouflage and wilderness survival." Noire chimes in. "I just wish I could have made better use of them. I-if I had… then…"
"Those slavers wouldn't have had a chance at finding you, I'm sure." I smile reassuringly to the girl.
Well, that's one mystery solved. It looks like most of my lessons for the future applied to getting them out of their stupid paralogues one way or another. Lucina was primarily an exception because her actions are all plot relevant. This does make me wonder what I could have taught the others, though. If memory serves some of the kids are encountered trying to save the day on their own. I doubt any lessons I teach could convince Owain to stop being a big damn hero.
Oh well, nothing to do but wait and see how things play out. And on that note…
"Okay, I'm glad to hear that future Ben taught you all some valuable life skills, and that you've been doing your best to put them to good use." I nod and smile at the kids, who all brighten up a bit at the praise. Ah geez it's scary to see the effect I have on them with so few words. "But all of that doesn't really answer my original question. I didn't ask you all what I taught you to prepare you for your time travel; I asked you what you knew about time travel itself."
"Ah, I should have realized your question was one of a more theoretical nature!" Laurent starts rifling through his bag. "Hold a moment, I have been collecting notes on the metaphysical aspects of our journey."
"That's hardly necessary." Kjelle replies. "We're here to make sure that the events that caused the world to go to shit don't happen. It doesn't matter how it works."
"False." I reply flatly.
"Come again?" Kjelle looks at me with an expression of shock. Lucina and Noire are similarly taken aback, while Laurent nods along as he fishes through his bag. Severa just grimaces and looks away.
"Hoo boy." I sigh, trudging over to a nearby seat and dusting the snow off. "Okay, this could take a while." I sink slowly into the seat and let out a groan of relief as the weight leaves my legs. "Sorry, been a long day and I'm still not the best with standing for hours at a time. Anyways, first thing you all need to know about time travel: everything that happened to you still happened to you. There's no undoing it."
"How can that be? If we can't change the future, then what's the point of it all?" Noire replies shakily.
"Our goal is not to undo our own future, but to create a new one. Aha!" Laurent replies, pulling the correct book free. "If we were to change our own future, then the circumstances which led us to travel backwards in time and correct our future wouldn't happen."
"Basically, it would be a totally pointless journey." Severa elaborates. "We can't change our own future because our future is what led us here in the first place."
"Top marks, you two." I nod. "Time travel cannot undo things that have already happened. What has happened must happen. As horrible as it seems, the tragedy you've faced, the people you've lost, it's all necessary because it all helped bring you here."
"You speak of fate." Lucina glares at me. "I refuse to believe that some mystical force is tampering with events in such a way to bring this world to ruin! I won't let such a thing bind me."
"And you'd be right to disbelieve." I nod. "But not for the reason you seem to think. Your understanding of fate is flawed. Here, let me show you something." I fish a coin out of my pocket and hold it up. "Heads or tails, Lucina. Call it."
Lucina squints at me suspiciously. "How is this relevant to the present discussion?"
"I'll explain it in a minute. First: heads or tails?"
"Very well. Heads, then." She rolls her eyes and crosses her arms, basically going full teenage snark on me.
I flip the coin in the air and catch it. "Hmm. Tails. You lost."
"Tragic, I'm sure. Now how is this relevant?"
"You'll understand soon enough. First, a question: what were your chances of getting that choice correct?"
Lucina frowns at that, then looks at me oddly. "Fifty percent."
"You're wrong." I shake my head.
"Wait, what?" Lucina blinks, taken aback. "What do you mean? There are only two options, so there was a fifty percent chance I'd get that question right?"
"I believe what Ben is trying to imply is that the answer is zero." Laurent looks over to the others, then back to me. "Is that correct?"
"You catch on quick, kiddo." I grin at him.
"What, are you saying you cheated?" Kjelle looks at me irritably.
"Nope, it was a fair and square coin toss." I shrug. "Just one that we now know Lucina had no chance of winning."
"Okay, can one of you explain this already?" Severa sighs. "Because I had this time travel stuff drilled into me for years and even I'm confused."
"It's a simple matter of hindsight." Laurent replies. "Ben is stating that knowing the outcome means that we now know that Lucina was going to pick the wrong option."
"What? But it's a coin toss!" Severa sputters. "It's all luck!"
"And therein lies the rub!" I clap my hands. "There's no such thing as luck! It's all part of that nebulous fate you so strongly despise."
"Fate does not conspire to make me lose a coin toss!" Lucina snaps.
"It doesn't conspire to do anything, it's all just basic math!" I grin.
"And by 'basic', I believe he means 'unfathomably complex'." Laurent supplies helpfully.
"Yes, that." I snap my fingers and point at him. "See, for all that I like to complain about my garbage luck, the simple fact of the matter is, luck is all an illusion of the mind. It's an imaginary concept. A coin toss may seem random, but in truth the result is determined by thousands upon thousands of factors. Air flow, the strength I put into my thumb, the way I catch it, the shape of the coin itself… all these things come together to give us the result. There's so many things that go into determining which side the coin lands on that the human brain cannot possibly compute it all, so it just shrugs and chooses not to bother. And that shrug is what we call luck."
"I'm about to shrug right out of this whole conversation." Kjelle mutters.
"Simply put, that coin toss was the result of a whole lot of numbers coming together in a way we can't understand. The same goes for Lucina's guess of heads. The coin was always going to land on tails, and Lucina was always going to guess the opposite. The results are hardly dramatic, but they are still fate. Because fate isn't a will exerted over the world; fate is a mathematical equation."
"So I was mathematically fated to lose that coin toss?" Lucina replies irritably.
"Pretty much!" I grin. "The only way you could win is if you were to, say… go back in time and tell yourself the correct answer before I tossed the coin. Because by going back in time, you are introducing a variable that could not possibly have existed before."
"So… so you're saying that we're that new variable in this world." Kjelle replies, face scrunched up in concentration.
"Exactly!" I grin. "New numbers added to the equation. Which will, in turn, lead to a new answer."
"So what is that answer? What new fate have we made for ourselves?" Lucina asks thoughtfully.
"Hell if I know. We won't have a way of knowing until it happens." I lean back and sigh. "As soon as you guys arrived in this timeline, the formula changed from what you've learned. Which means from here on out you have to be prepared to throw aside what you think you know about our future at a moment's notice. Severa and I learned that the hard way already." I tap my chest lightly to accentuate the point.
Severa flinches at that and I wave my hands to get her attention. "Remember what I said earlier, kiddo. You saved my life back then. None of what I've told you makes this your fault."
"Doesn't it though?" Noire replies. "You basically said everything that happens here is happening at least partly because we went back in time."
"Well while we're stretching for something to pin the blame on, you all came back here because that scaly douchebag Grima trashed the whole fucking planet." I grin. "So let's just stab his ugly mug one extra for this mess while we're kicking his ass."
"Hear, hear!" Kjelle raises a fist and grins.
A round of chuckles spreads throughout the group and I feel safe to relax. "That's the spirit. Besides, it was his big fucking Risen that sent me down the river to meet with old Ezra anyway…" I blink as my brain catches up with my mouth. "Oh holy fucking shit, how did I forget that?"
"Forget about what?" Lucina asks, expression turning stern once again.
"The Risen! The huge one that nearly killed Vaike and I!" I turn to Severa, "What the hell ever happened with that thing anyways?"
Severa blinks at that. "Wait, what huge one?"
My brain comes to a screeching halt at that. "Wait, did you seriously not see it? The big fucker who broke the goddamn bridge!"
Severa blushes at that. "I was kinda focused on the fact that my dad was about to drown in a river, I didn't pay attention to the Risen. I don't remember anything unusual about them! Except the flying ones, god those were horrible." She shudders.
"Shit. I think the only other one who got a good look at the thing was Vaike." I grimace.
"I feel as though your word is likely more reputable than his." Laurent comments.
"Just tell us what you remember." Lucina urges.
"He was big. Like, almost twice my size, with some seriously heavy duty armor. And strong enough to shatter a stone bridge with one spear blow. He commanded what must have been at least a thousand Risen by howling so loudly you could hear it for miles, and when he charged he tore through armored knights like paper." I feel a chill running up my back again at the memory of the thing. Even my fight against Ezra's slavers didn't instill the same sense of fear in me. "The worst part was his voice, though."
The others look very alarmed at that. "His voice?" Noire whispers in a panic.
"No way, it can't be, it's way too soon for that, we can't handle it yet!" Kjelle protests angrily. "That can't be right!"
"It might not be!" Laurent cuts in suddenly, drawing my attention. "We've seen Risen that can speak before, they're not uncommon. Tell me Ben, what was it about this creature's voice that filled you with such fear?"
"If I had to say… it's what the voice represented." I reply, with the dreadful feeling that I'm about to confirm their darkest fears. "It didn't just speak. It replied to me. It laughed at me. It thought and acted with so much more… intent than the others."
"Then it's true." Laurent goes pale.
"I know I'm gonna regret asking, but fill me in here. What does this mean? What was that thing?"
"The power you speak of is one thing, dangerous, but manageable." Lucina replies shakily. "But to claim that such a creature showed rational thought… it can only be a Deadlord."
Deadlord. As in, those things that show up damn near endgame to fuck your army up with a shitload of legendary weapons. "Oh fucking fuck."
My exclamation is met with a heavy silence for several long moments. Until finally Lucina's head snaps up. "Right. We need to go."
"Go?" Kjelle looks over in confusion. "Go where?"
"We need to find the others." Lucina replies firmly. "As many of them as we can. If there are Deadlords about, then we've delayed too long in that goal already. The sooner we gather our forces, the better."
"Alright! I'm ready to get back on the road." Kjelle grins eagerly. "After that Arena fight it's become very clear that we need more training anyways. Especially you, Laurent!"
"Me?" Laurent raises an eyebrow indignantly. "Are you implying that some sort of weak link?"
"Well, you were the first one of us to get knocked out in that fight today." Kjelle grins teasingly.
"Please, he was faking it." Severa rolls her eyes. "Probably because some of you forgot who was supposed to be winning that fight in the first place!"
"I'm competitive, sue me."
"I intended to throw my duel with father." Lucina says with some embarrassment. "But once that Ferox caster got involved I wasn't sure how to convincingly throw the fight."
"Oh just admit it, you were caught up in fighting your dad and forgot what you were supposed to be doing." Kjelle replies with a grin.
"I did no such thing!" Lucina protests hotly, flushing a vivid pink. "Now come on, all of you, we have to go."
"Good luck, you three." I nod, then frown to myself. "Which… I realise is an odd thing to say after our discussion, but well… You get the idea."
Lucina sighs at this, turning to face Severa and Noire. "You two know you have to come with us. It's too risky for you to stay."
"I'm exactly where I have to be." Severa replies, stepping up next to my seat.
"Love you too, kiddo."
"Gawds, shut up already dad!" She snaps, causing me to burst into a fit of laughter that I only barely manage to muffle in the sleeve of my coat.
"Severa, this isn't a game!" Lucina protests. "We can't place ourselves so close to the Shepherds; if we change too much we lose any chance we have of predicting what's to come."
"I think Laurent and Ben already debunked that idea pretty well." Noire replies sarcastically.
"Don't tell me you're trying to stay as well, Noire!" Lucina protests.
"CEASE YOUR ATTITUDE, INSOLENT CHILD. I AM IN NO STATE TO TRAVEL, EVEN IF I WISHED FOR YOUR TIRESOME COMPANY!" Noire snarls back, before descending into a coughing fit that prompts Severa to rush to her side.
"No state?" Lucina looks over in complete alarm and confusion.
I decide to fill her in before the others snap at her again. "She got caught by those same slavers that messed me up. They didn't injure her like they did me, but she was damn near starved by the time I busted everyone out of there. It'll be a while before she's recovered enough for anything more than wagon travel."
"I… I see. Then I suppose we'll have to make do with just the three of us." Lucina replies helplessly. She turns to Kjelle and Laurent. "You should go prepare. We'll have to make an early start tomorrow."
"Right." Kjelle nods and the two make their exit. "Stay safe, you three. And heal up soon, Ben. Next time we meet I want to see what you're made of."
"Until next time." Laurent waves as he follows the knight out.
I look to Lucina, still lingering, and see her gaze flicker to Severa and Noire. "Hey kiddo, why don't you let Noire get some sleep." I call over. "And get some yourself while you're at it, you had a tough fight today."
Severa looks between the two of us and sighs, helping Noire along with one arm. "Alright. Night. Good luck finding the others, Luce."
Noire is still busy coughing, but manages a shaky wave as she passes Lucina and I. The two of us remain quiet, watching as the girls disappear around the corner.
Once Noire's voice fades away down the hall and I'm sure the two have gone, I relax, and turn back to Lucina. "I think you fooled 'em, kid."
"Excuse me?" Lucina's stern gaze flicks to me as she continues to face down the hallway.
"They don't suspect a thing. As far as any of them are concerned, you're just pissed with me for making crass comments while you were fighting." I look back at her and cock an eyebrow. "But you and I know better, don't we?"
"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about." Lucina grumbles.
"Suuuure you do!" I grin, throwing my arms wide. "Remember the night you arrived? Your little comments about trust?" I lean forward. "That look you gave me as you spoke?"
"You're mistaken." Lucina replies irritably.
"Am I? I don't think I am? Chrom seemed to pick up on it, too. Nothing that guy hates more than when people tell him who he should and shouldn't trust. It's why he and Frederick make such a good pair; that guy doesn't trust anybody."
"Even when his trust is misplaced?" Lucina turns to face me fully and I grimace internally. The girl is rocking a serious death glare right now. Thank the lord I've been properly practising my poker face since I arrived in this world, because this is one of those moments where I really don't want to slip up.
"Even then." I smirk up at her, playing it as cool as I can. "He's the type of man who likes to make those decisions for himself. He'll defer on matters of tactics, or politics… but not people. Never people."
Lucina smiles at me, though it doesn't reach her eyes. "Well, I suppose I take after him, then. Because I've yet to see any compelling reason to trust you. And I won't let anyone else change my mind in that regard, either."
I blink in surprise at that. "What the fuck did he do to you, kid?"
Lucina turns and stalks away. "I'm sure you'll know firsthand soon enough. And when that day comes, I'll be waiting."
She vanishes around the corner, and I sigh and lean back in my seat. "Parties, man. It's always fucking parties."
Seriously, I can count the number of parties where I've just plain had a good time on one hand, it's something of a miraculous occurrence in my life.
I hope the discussion about luck and fate didn't get too long winded for everyone. The coin toss thing was an idea I had that I just liked way too much to exclude. Honestly time travel in general is a subject I probably enjoy talking about a little too much. Just consider yourselves lucky there's only one big point of time travel in FE:A's story, I'm used to like, Homestuck levels of needlessly complex, so I could get sooo much more long-winded.
Alas, you'll have to make do with a basic single fork in time. So boring; not a time loop or paradox to be found. Ah well, maybe three houses will have some sort of complex multiple parallel timeline nonsense. We'll certainly know soon enough, won't we?
