It was around four in the morning as a little boy sneaked through the camp, he wore his blue jammies and walked barefoot over the dirt heading towards Potter's tent. The colonel would be leaving tomorrow for six whole days, and Chris woke up with a feeling of wanting to be close to him before he left. He just needed to make sure his friend was fine, he just needed to see the man was alive and well.
Hawkeye heard something leave the tent, his subconscious mind got alerted as he slowly started to wake up, he needed to make sure that wasn't Chris. His kid could be just going to the latrines, but Chris already started getting a bit clingy with the colonel yesterday before he put the boy to bed. Last night Chris stayed close to the man, getting him a drink and sitting close during movie night.
His foggy brain was telling him to get up, but he was so tired, and he didn't want to get up! Everyone knew Hawkeye wasn't a morning person, and now it wasn't even close to morning, why couldn't his kid do these things when I'm awake? Was that too much to ask? He grumbled annoyed as he finally managed to open his eyes.
Everything was still dark around him as he slowly sat up. His kid's bed was empty just like BJ's, who was on duty and Frank was sleeping happily and even mumbling in his sleep about being in charge. Clearly, the man was looking forward to being the boss in Potter's absence.
Chris wasn't back yet, meaning this was no longer a latrine break, but an escaped naughty child. Hawkeye rubbed the sleep out of his eyes as the room slowly came into focus. He still had some hope his kid would return anytime soon from the latrine, but as the minutes ticked by, he knew he had to get up.
He groaned as he sat up and put on his bathrobe, maybe he's been too lenient the last time, he caught Chris out of bed twice earlier last week, and he sent him back, with just a warning and a stern talking too. Maybe if he had punished the child, he wouldn't have to get up today.
Finding the child didn't take long, as Hawkeye knew where to look.
Chris was sneaking around the colonel's tent and Hawkeye saw the boy stop at the door and opened it just a crack to peek through, his small tush sticking up in the air.
If Hawkeye wasn't so disappointed, he could've chuckled at the thought it made a very easy target for his hand, but that would give the boy a heart attack or most likely a panic attack. Instead, he cleared his throat.
The child let out a tiny squeak that thankfully didn't wake the colonel, he shot up and almost let the door hit his face. He turned around and faced his very annoyed dad.
Chris gulped and without his dad having to ask, walked over to stand in front of the man. "I-I... I'm s-sorry." he started, but his dad interrupted him by taking hold of the back of his neck sternly.
"Young man! Have I been too soft on you? "
Chris looked at the ground and shook his head, he didn't want to see
the scolding look on his dad's face. He hated this! He hated getting his dad angry with him.
"No? Then why is this the third time this week? I wonder if I should spank you every time I find you out of bed."
"Nooo... Don't." Chris said softly. He didn't want to be punished at all. Hawkeye tapped the boy's chin, requesting eye contact. Chris looked up and dread filled his body as he saw the angry expression of his dad. His dad looked determined and very mad, letting the boy know he was going to be punished. Tears welled up, but he tried very hard not to cry.
Hawkeye guided the boy away from the tent. "Well, what do you have to say for yourself? " Chris had no excuse so he just told him he was very sorry.
"Next time you sneak out in the middle of the night, don't expect to get away with it. I'm done with getting up in the middle of the night and you will stop today. "
"Paappaa... I said I was sorry" The child whined.
Hawkeye pinched the small neck briefly. Chris let out a tiny squeak but Hawkeye kept walking and said, "Oh no, you don't! Don't you dare to have an attitude right now! You're already in a lot of trouble mister! "
More tears sprung into the boy's eyes. Chris was a bit proud that he wasn't crying yet, but now he was losing that battle fast, as a small sniffle broke through. "I-I'm sorry" He didn't mean to whine, it just happened.
Chris noticed they weren't heading towards the Swamp and he stopped walking before he looked up into his father's face. He still looked really angry.
"W-w-where a-are we g-going?"
His dad still held the back of his neck sternly as he said. "The showers, It's probably empty right now. Frank is asleep, and I don't want to wake him because you are getting punished."
Another sob broke through, he didn't think his dad would be this mad, or that he would be really punished! He wiped his eyes, as his dad made him walk again towards the showers.
Chris kept sobbing softly as they entered.
Hawkeye was relieved to find it empty, he guided Chris towards the chair near the cloth hangers. Chris tried to stop walking as he softly pleated, "Noo... Papa! Please... "
Hawkeye tightened his grip a little and moved him closer toward his goal. He sat down and looked his son in the eyes sternly. "Three times this week! Mister!"
That was all he said before he tucked Chris's PJ pants down. And swiftly pulled the boy over his knees, he had Chris's arms and torso pinned under his arm and held him firmly in place.
Chris let out a loud sob as he felt his briefs getting pulled down as well.
"Dad! I'm sor... OW!" Chris' sentence got cut off by a harsh slap. He started crying louder as more smacks followed.
Hawkeye knew that he wouldn't be this mad if he wasn't so tired, but three times a week was no joke, this behavior was getting unhealthy. This wasn't the first time he'd done this, but Hawkeye would make sure it was the last. He wouldn't have it anymore.
"Aah OW! Papa!" Chris sobbed as he tried to kick and struggle but his dad ignored him and held him in place as he kept going.
Hawkeye kept spanking his son, with sharp fast slaps, wasting no time getting his point across. He heard the soft voice of Chris pleads. "D-D-Daddy! P-p-please..." between the sobbing. It broke his heart, being the one hurting his son, but Chris had to learn. He needed to make sure this behavior would stop.
"You're not *smack* gonna do this again! *slap* You understand me?" Hawkeye asked, even though he didn't slow down. "AH Yeees! OW!" Chris sobbed. He tried to get his hands free but to no avail.
Hawkeye's eyes were narrowed as they focused on the child over his lap, the sound of Christopher's cries echoing from the walls as the slapping continued. It didn't take long before the child went completely limp, though he did cry harder when his father positioned him a bit higher over his knees.
Chris knows what that means, his dad was going to spank the spot he sat on, and those smacks were usually harder than the rest. He didn't say anything, he just cried his small eyes out.
"I'm not pleased *SMACK* about getting *SMACK* up at night again. Young man! " *SMACK*
OW! Chris just cried, it hurt so much and he never wanted to disobey again, ever! He would miss the colonel and wanted to be close before he left, but he would do anything right now to turn back in time so he could stay in bed, and this never happened.
"It's not *SMACK* only dangerous *SMACK* what you are doing is also very rude!" *SMACK*
Hawkeye stopped his attack on the small bottom and loosened his grip. He patted Chris' back gently before lifting his crying child and helping him stand. Chris just sobbed and his hands went back to rub the sting away.
Punishing was the worst part of being a parent, Hawkeye thought feeling heartbroken as he looked at his sobbing child. He gave Chris a couple of seconds of rubbing, before he tapped the small hands, meaning they needed to go. Chris complied instantly and Hawkeye lifted his briefs and pants back in place.
"Look at me", Hawkeye said gently.
Chris turned his blurry vision towards his dad, he didn't look angry anymore, he let out a soft sob as he wiped his eyes.
Hawkeye's expression was serious but gentle. He needed Chris to understand. "Do you understand how it's unhealthy behavior to check up on people while they are sleeping? People don't like being watched, especially at night, without them knowing. "
The crying child nodded and said softly," I-I I c-can't help it, I just got worried."
"You have to do better if you don't want to end up in this same situation. Is that understood? " Hawkeye said sternly but he opened his arms, inviting Chris closer. Chris fell forwards and put his arms around his dad's neck and sobbed on the man's shoulder as he apologized over and over. His dad held him close as he cried.
"I'm s-sorry, P-papa…I won't ever do it again! I p-promise!"
"It's okay, Kiddo" Hawkeye whispered, rubbing Chris's back soothingly, Chris held him close like he was afraid he would disappear otherwise.
"You're forgiven Kiddo, just try to ignore your anxieties next time, you're safe and the personnel are safe. Trust me!"
Chris sniffled quietly and nodded against Hawkeye's shoulder. He knew when his papa was being serious, he meant it. And he did trust the man. It was just hard sometimes to ignore his fright.
The two stayed like that for a few minutes until Chris stopped crying.
Hawkeye gently removed Chris's arms. Chris moved away but he still looked sad, his bottom lip trembled.
"Please don't cry again, you know I love you." Hawkeye tried as he put their foreheads together. Chris let out a soft sob, "I'm sorry"
"Kiddo, I already told you, you are forgiven, you're my kid and I'm very proud of you. Even if you sometimes misbehave. "
"R-really?" The boy asked meekly.
"Yes, really," He said before he kissed the small forehead. "Now c'mon, you've got to get some sleep, and so do I."
Chris nodded and let himself be guided back to the Swamp.
The next morning, Hawkeye woke up pretty late, he saw that Chris left the tent already. Which he was allowed to do if Hawkeye was still asleep after nine, otherwise, he would miss his breakfast.
He groaned as he sat up, and put on his bathrobe, dragged himself out of bed and into his chair, where he grabbed the Crabapple Cove Courier.
He was glad he was able to lie in, as tomorrow Frank will wake everyone early in the morning with a bugle. Thankfully Chris wasn't so terrified of the sound anymore, even though it did frighten him every time. Now he just got scared as it was waking him, and sometimes he needed to cry a little, but he didn't feel the need to hide under his cot in a complete panic, so that was an improvement.
Speaking of the little devil, the door opened, and Chris walked in carrying a cup of coffee, he gave his dad a happy smile.
"Hey, Dad." The boy said in his soft cheerful voice as he handed his dad his coffee.
"Thank you! You by GOD send a child! How did you know I was awake? And in desperate need of coffee?" He asked, ruffling Chris' hair with an affectionate look on his face.
Chris giggled as he replied happily "I checked in a couple of times during breakfast," He wrapped his arms around the man's neck and leaned into him.
Hawkeye chuckled and asked. "Really? Nothing better to do than wait till your dad wakes up? "
Chris shook his head. "No, Frank is being bossy and he needed Radar for everything." He said a bit sadly, "We barely had time to feed Radar's animals, and I even had to finish the last one by myself because Frank needed the bugle polished right away."
"Well," Hawkeye said, "that does sound like Frank! At least the one I know. I'm sorry Kiddo, but he's in charge."
"I know" Chris sighed as he buried his face closer.
Hawkeye felt happy like this, he got his coffee and news from home and a cuddly Chris, what more could anyone ask for? The world wasn't so bad after all.
They stayed like that for a while but his happiness didn't last long as the intercom came to life, "Attention! Attention! All personnel! This is a BUG-OUT! At the order of the commanding officer! I repeat we're BUGGING-OUT!"
Chris gasped shocked and looked at the surprised expression of his dad. BJ stormed in, making Hawkeye snap out of his confusion. He tapped Chris to make him let go, and sprung into action.
"I didn't even have breakfast! " Hawkeye complained loudly as he got his bathrobe off and his pants on.
"Ohh, it was beautiful!" BJ replied sarcastically as he was packing up his clothes. "Nobody was allowed to eat because the tables were not lined up straight. It took over an hour before he was satisfied with the arrangement. "
Chris rushed over to his cot, they practiced this a couple of times already, Hawkeye made sure, Chris knew what to inspect the first time, and made sure, his kid was fast enough with his packing so he wouldn't hold up everyone.
He collected and put his stuff that was lying around his bed, in his neatly packed trunk. Wally was placed carefully on his folded clothes and secured between his books, writing stuff, and comics.
He had his stuff collected faster than his dad, as Hawkeye was still throwing his clothes inside his bag, but getting his cot folded was a whole other matter, as he simply wasn't strong enough. He already rolled up his sleeping mat and managed to get his cot on its side, but he couldn't fold the legs.
"Frank has definitely flipped out," Hawkeye grumbled angrily as he rushed over to help Chris. He folded the cot and Chris had to secure it on his own while Hawkeye started on his own cot.
"Flipped like a fox," BJ added as he also started folding his cot. "He's obviously picked up a couple of hundred trusses cheap. Now he's creating a demand for them."
Chris had his cot secured, his arms were hurting a bit from pulling the rope tight around his cot, but he didn't mind, he was very proud he was strong enough to do it on his own. Even his dad told him, he did a great job of it.
Frank strode past the tent, whistling his annoying whistle, and yelling to them to finish up quickly. "Come on! Chop-chop! This is war, you know! " He hollered before moving on to the next.
"You see? I told you it was a war " Hawkeye said to BJ "But no, you keep saying we're both dreaming. " He got up and carried his folded cot outside. "How could we be in each other's dreams?" BJ added who picked up his own cot, but also Chris's.
"Wow, BJ is strong," Chris thought, a bit amazed.
Hawkeye huffed as he lifted his cot, he gave BJ a thankful smile as he said. "How could I be in Korea? More importantly, why is this chicken outfit crossing the road?"
They dropped their stuff on the truck and started breaking up the tent. Chris felt scared and a bit panicky as he saw his home get packed up.
The bug-out took longer than it would if Potter would be in charge, but who would get motivated by that whistle and screeching?
They managed to put the camp back up time to get some lunch.
Their lovely commander decided on cold showers. Making everyone cranky and moody.
Frank even refused to let Chris shower with hot water, even though the child wasn't in the army, Frank believed it was just an excuse from Hawkeye to steal warm water.
Like he would steal the warm water away from his son. So Hawkeye let his kid skip his shower today. Maybe ferret-face will change his mind tomorrow.
Frank also insisted on calisthenics, and snap inspections. Which scared Chris almost into a panic attack, and Hawkeye almost threw the man out but thankfully he managed to stay calm. Getting hot-headed would not help anyone. But he knew his kid would be a nervous wreck after today.
Next Frank banned gambling, so Hawkeye and BJ needed to sneak around until they found the perfect place to arrange their secret poker game.
Putting Chris to bed was also a disaster, the child started sobbing, and begged his dad to let him come to their poker game. He didn't want to be alone, in a strange location, even though it is only a couple of miles from their old one. It was still different and scary.
Hawkeye decided to let him come with them, one day couldn't hurt and Chris was very upset.
During the game, Klinger, who was keeping guard, let them know Frank was on his way, they quickly folded the tablecloth over the poker chips and money and put them away, Chris was asleep on the chair next to Hawkeye, blanket wrapped around him. The boy played one round before he lost his battle to sleep, and he didn't even notice Frank enter.
"What's going on here? " Frank demanded loudly, Hawkeye shushed him and told the man they were having a spelling bee.
The next day, this time even before breakfast but after their calisthenics, they needed to move the whole camp back again, for some unknown reason.
So all their stuff got packed again and hailed back to their original spot from yesterday morning.
It took hours, but things were finally back like they were before. And even Chris calmed down a little. He remained moody and clingy, but Hawkeye knew the child was very tired.
There was still a ban on hot water, so Chris and Hawkeye showered very briefly.
Hawkeye hated that his child was forced to shower like this as he quickly dried off his shuddering wet cold son.
Later on the day, Frank confronted Hawkeye and BJ about some missing money from Zale who 'lost' 300 bucks.
"Frank, Zale lost it gambling. " Hawkeye said.
"I beg your pardon?"
"Gambling, Frank. He was playing poker with us." BJ added.
"Impossible!" Frank said. "Gambling's been prohibited. There is no gambling in this unit. Therefore, the money was stolen! "
"Can't argue with that kind of logic," BJ said, not even trying to convince the man.
"I certainly wouldn't try. My mother always said two things." Hawkeye said. "Never argue with crazy people and always wear clean underwear in case you get run over by a tank and have to go to the hospital."
"Wise woman," BJ added.
Frank didn't find it funny as he told the doctors he will conduct a thorough search and the thieves will be severely punished. He walked out highly aggregated.
Late at night, the doctors were lounging and drinking in the Swamp. Chris was already sound asleep when Frank and Radar walked in.
They looked under Hawkeye's bed and then looked under Chris's cot. Radar tried to be very gentle to not wake the child but Frank didn't seem to care.
"What're you looking for, Frank? " BJ asked, already forgetting about the poker game.
"His marbles!" Hawkeye replied, he was getting really angry with the man. "Are you with him Radar, or are you independently crazy? "
"I'm helping the major. " The clerk whispered.
"Do what?" Hawkeye asked.
Radar glanced briefly at Burns who was underneath Hawkeye's bed before he said. "I don't know." He kinda lost track of what the Major asked of him.
"Come on Frank, you can tell us!" Hawkeye said.
"I'm looking for $300, bub. As if you didn't know." Frank said loudly, making Chris startle awake, his eyes flew open and he saw an angry Frank very close to his face. The boy gasped and almost fell backward out of his cot, in his hasty attempt to hide away from the man.
Radar caught him just in time, and steadied him briefly before the boy found his footing and ran to his dad.
"Thanks a lot! Frank!" Hawkeye snapped at the man, as he held a trembling Chris close. The child wrapped his arms around his neck and buried his face close, not wanting to see or hear anything right now.
"What! It's not my fault that kid is scared of everything! It isn't normal!" Frank snapped back.
"Frank, even your mother would have this reaction seeing your angry face up close like that! I find it completely normal!" Hawkeye said as Chris started sobbing softly. He hated feeling like he was weird or crazy, but getting startled like that, and seeing that angry face so close was really terrifying. He always got flashbacks of seeing angry people, especially angry men.
"What did you say about Mother?!" Frank shrieked.
"Frank, the money wasn't stolen!" BJ quickly interrupted Hawkeye before the man could make this worse, and tried getting this situation calmed down again.
"I don't think either of you took it. Officers don't steal you know." Frank said, thankfully ignoring the previous comment.
"Right", Hawkeye said as he soothed Chris by rubbing his head gently.
"We don't go to the toilet, either," BJ added.
"We just explode when we're 50," Hawkeye said, getting a small snort from Chris, who was calming down again. He could handle Frank, it just really startled him.
Thankfully being an officer meant you couldn't steal something, so Frank left again. And Hawkeye put Chris back to bed.
The next day Frank still didn't find the money and he was getting more agitated about it. And on top of that, they were being bombed at the moment, so it was chaos.
Frank didn't know how to fix it, meanwhile, Radar let them know they were expecting a lot of casualties within the hour.
Thankfully everyone knew their job well, so after the wounded arrived, they managed to ignore most of Frank's crazy demands. It didn't stop the man as he kept screaming orders, but it did help the patients.
During the busy O.R session, while they were being bombed, Frank kept messing up triage, bringing in patients who were not stable enough to be operated on, a soldier who was completely in shock and needed blood first, before they could do anything else.
"Frank, come in here!" Hawkeye yelled. Chris stood close to his dad, he wore his scrubs and mask, as he held on to his dad's doctor's coat with an iron grip. He hated being bombed, everything quivered and trembled and the loud noises were terrifying.
Frank came in "What!" he demanded.
"Frank, this kid needs a transfusion, and BJ's patient is likely to croak during his operation," Hawkeye explained, that he was trying very hard to keep his patience with this man, but Burns was making it very difficult.
"Oh, pick, pick, pick! Is that all you guys can do?" Frank snapped back.
"Frank, what are you doing out there?" BJ asked.
"Listen, they're backing up out there. With all this shelling going on, there'll be more and more wounded! We'll overflow! We'll be buried alive! Frank said almost hysterically.
Hawkeye heard his son let out a scared whimper. Frank was making this way more difficult than it has to be, and on top of that he was scaring people, not only Chris but several other people got affected by his attitude as well, people were nervous and highly on edge.
"That beats their being buried dead, Frank!" Hawkeye said as he menacingly stepped closer to the so-called doctor. "Now get out there and practice medicine, or I'm gonna report you to Lionel Barrymore."
"I'm your superior officer, Pierce!" Frank screamed as Hawkeye stepped closer. "You will not talk to me in that insolvent manner!"
Hawkeye was proud of himself for not hitting the man, as he now stood face to face with him. Instead, he kept stepping forward slowly, making the other doctor step backward as he said, "Frank, you can either help the wounded or become one." His anger was radiating off him.
Frank took this moment to quickly turn around and leave, but the door opened, hitting Frank hard in the face and knocking him out cold.
Hawkeye managed to catch him on time, and with a big smile thanked the nurse responsible for hitting the man. He quickly formed a plan as he took over and started giving orders, they didn't have time to waste.
"Father, take over in pre-op! Klinger, take care of this mess." The two sprung into action, and Klinger seemed almost happy as he dragged Frank out of the O.R.
It was a long session, but they managed to get everyone stable.
Frank, however, wasn't very grateful, he woke up believing Hawkeye was responsible for the mutiny, and even Margeret couldn't calm him down. He barged into the mess hall during breakfast, with two MPs on his side, yelling about having Hawkeye court-martialed and put on trial for mutiny under his command.
The MPs guided Hawkeye back to the Swamp as he was placed under house arrest. Before they left the building, they heard Frank shout that Hawkeye was going to hang for this.
Chris lost his battle against his tears as softly sobbed as he held his dad's hand. Inside the Swamp, Hawkeye had time to explain everything to Chris, he wasn't going to die, tomorrow Potter will be back and everything will be settled. Chris didn't seem very convinced as he held on to the man, refusing to let go.
It took about a whole hour before Chris stopped sniffling completely, BJ even tried to distract the child with stories but Chris ignored the man completely.
Hawkeye was outraged about all of this, Frank didn't know how much damage he was doing to Chris, the boy looked pale and even a bit gray.
He knew Frank was just stupid, but that doesn't excuse this kind of behavior. Thankfully the colonel showed up the next day and quickly put everything in motion. The court-martial was already filed, so they had to go through with it. But the colonel made sure it would be an honest one.
On the day of the trial, Chris looked like he could faint any minute. They sat in a military courtroom, with Hawkeye of course as the defendant.
The colonel made sure Chris was allowed to stay close and present during the trial as the child was on the edge of a panic attack these last two days. He barely said a word and had this devastating look in his eyes.
Colonel Carmichael, the colonel who would be deciding on Hawkeye's faith, was thankfully a kind man, and after reading the reports about the child, agreed to it, without any hesitation.
They were seated in two neat rows, Chris was on Hawkeye's left while BJ sat on his right. Radar sat behind Chris with Frank next to him and Potter next to him.
They were all dressed in their complete military outfits, except for Chris who wore a nice yellow blouse, and a pair of brown trousers.
Carmichael started the court by explaining this case. "The contention is that the accused, with intent to usurp lawful military authority, did, at the 4077 Mobile Army Surgical Hospital. "
"Benjamin Franklin Pierce should stand trial under Article 94 on the charge of mutiny. " Carmichael continued. "Is that clear, Captain? "
"Crystal, Colonel. "Hawkeye replied.
Frank was the first one on the stand. After he had sworn to tell the truth, the colonel asked him if he comprehend the severity of this charge, as the penalty for mutiny is death.
"I comprehend okay. Death or worse." Frank replied stone cold.
Chris trembled a bit harder, he couldn't really think straight because of his panic, he just needed this to be over. His dad, BJ, and Radar tried to convince him earlier, that everything would be okay, but the child knew they couldn't know that for sure, there was a possibility for his dad to be killed, people got killed all the time.
"Besides my life, Frank wants my virginity," Hawkeye said to BJ.
"We all do." BJ joked with a smile as Hawkeye said. "If only I'd known."
Chris didn't know what virginity means, and he didn't care at the moment.
Frank continued his tirade against Hawkeye, telling the colonel about his bad character, and mean jokes, he's unmilitary and immoral.
He told him about the time Hawkeye wrote underneath his McArthur picture, Know your enema. "That man is a menace!"
Next Hawkeye was called forwards, at first Chris didn't want to let go of his dad, but Hawkeye peeled his arm free from the little hand clutching it, and quickly replaced it with Radar's arm, who was sitting behind them. He was so fast, that he was already at the front before Chris realized he was holding the wrong arm. Radar seemed a bit perplexed as well but managed to catch Chris by his shoulder as the child wanted to get up to run after his dad, and sat him down again gently.
Radar softly soothed him as he held the child's hand. Chris wiped his tears, and held Radar's hand tightly, his friend was right here. He needed to calm down, everyone was here.
His dad gave him a sad smile and a wink as he was sworn in by the colonel, to tell the truth, and nothing but the truth.
The colonel asked Pierce if he got an opening statement.
"Yes!" Hawkeye started, he was beyond angry. His life for that stupid man's pride. "Unaccustomed as I am to public lynching, let me say that even the army must have surely have better things to do than to listen to the ravings of a man with enough mold on his brain to produce a quart of penicillin."
"Sticks and stones, Your Honor," Frank replied smugly.
Hawkeye continued explaining there was no mutiny, that Frank just snapped under the burden of command, and that he should never be put in a commanding position in the first place.
"And if the politicians of the world hadn't failed to keep the peace, Frank would still be home, with his cozy little malpractice and meeting his receptionist two afternoons a week at the Golden Goose Motel. "
"That's a lie!" Frank yelled.
Carmichael hit his hammer to keep people quiet and he asked Colonel Potter to the stand.
Hawkeye sat back down and Chris grabbed his arm again. Hawkeye brushed him briefly over his head, in a soothing manner.
Potter got sworn in and explained about the eagerness Frank had getting hold of his command, that the man already started at 8 in the morning.
BJ was called to speak after that. And he gives the Colonel some examples of Frank's insanity as commander, a ban on gambling, snap inspections, parades and of course, he even has the entire unit do a practice bug-out, moving everything across the road, only to move back to the same spot the very next day.
"Don't forget the cold showers! Even Chris wasn't allowed hot water. It's cold outside and he's tiny." Hawkeye said.
The colonel nodded as though he understood. Chris was glad this man seemed okay, he was so scared of another Frank being the one deciding.
BJ continued to explain about Frank, wanting to recreate the 4077th in his own weird image.
"I object to the word "Weird." Frank snapped.
"What about warped? Bizarre? Balmy?" BJ tried with an amused smile.
"Perverted? Loony? Loopy?" Hawkeye said giving the man more options to choose from.
"Dippy." Radar added.
"I'm gonna sue all of you." Frank snapped as he looked angry at the nervous clerk.
Next Radar was called, he stood nervously in front of Colonel Carmichael, as he got sworn in.
Chris felt for his nervous friend, but at the same time, he was very glad he didn't have to stand there, at the front near all those adult strangers.
Radar explained to the colonel about the missing money, and that Frank wouldn't believe it was gambled away instead of stolen and kept searching for it the whole day and almost the whole night. And he of course needed to help the major. He talked about searching in all the tents.
"He didn't find the money?" The colonel asked.
"Oh no sir, I know for a fact he didn't." Radar replied.
"Because you had it all the time?" The colonel added.
Radar told him he had won the money in the poker game and had hidden it inside his teddy bear.
"I knew I should've ripped the stuffing out of the dirty little bugger when I had the opportunity." Frank sneered.
Chris gasped, but his dad shushed him gently.
"Wouldn't you have felt a little silly if the money hadn't been inside that bear?" The colonel asked Burns.
"I wasn't talking about the bear," Frank said as he gave the clerk a dead glare.
Radar hunkered down a little at the angry look Frank gave him, but he knew the man couldn't do anything to him now that Colonel Potter was back.
Frank was called up front again to explain what happened on that day of the mutiny. Frank tells them his side of the events that led to the "mutiny." He illustrates that during a long session in O.R., he had to do nearly everything, operating on several patients at once while giving blood directly from his arm.
He even does Father Mulcahy's job, saying a prayer in Latin, when Father Mulcahy collapses in exhaustion.
Bombs are falling, and everyone is scared and panicking, except for Frank. He insists more and more wounded be brought in, as he was fixing two patients at once.
Hawkeye, unable to match the pace Frank is insisting on, grabs a hypo and knocks Frank out, screaming "I'm taking over." Frank ended his story looking very smugly and took his seat again.
After that Hawkeye got up and took his chance to tell them his side.
He was thankful his arm trick worked the second time as well, to get Chris to stay seated. Chris was so stressed right now, that he couldn't think straight which made it a bit easier for Hawkeye to fool him.
Hawkeye then testifies, he admits Burns was telling the truth on two points: it was October 11th, and they were in Korea.
Then he gives them the real story, Frank was doing a pathetic job prepping the patients, as well as not sending them to the O.R. in the right order. After that Frank goes hysterical at having to operate on so many wounded soldiers all at once.
The argument gets heated, and when Frank turns to go back to Pre-Op, a nurse accidentally slams a door into him, knocking him out.
After Hawkeye was finished with the more realistic view of the event, the colonel got up and went to another room. Hawkeye went back to his seat and waited to hear the judgment. He soothed Chris who still looked pale.
The waiting seemed to last for hours but was merely around fifteen minutes.
The colonel reappeared again and took his seat. He looked serious as he told them that after hearing all the testimony he also looked into everyone's records.
"I have no doubt that Captain Pierce is a prankster and thoroughly un-military. But the records indicate he's a top-flight surgeon."
He then concludes that no case for mutiny exists. All charges are dropped. Slamming his hammer he officially dismisses the case.
Chris let out a deep breath as he felt so relieved, his whole body felt like it was floating a little.
People got up and started to congratulate Hawkeye as Chris started sobbing and grabbed his dad around his waist, burying his face against the man.
Hawkeye patted his son's head gently while wearing the biggest smile he had in days.
"When we get back to the 4077th! I'm all inviting you over to the officers club to celebrate! The first couple of rounds are on Frank!" Hawkeye said loudly.
Frank tried to object, but everyone cheered loudly and BJ even patted his shoulder. He felt like they started being nice again, so maybe one drink couldn't hurt.
