AN: So! Here's the proper chapter 6, not yet proofed for grammar and such, so as always some changes might occur, but the overall plot will remain as is. This chappie's supposed to be focused on the lighter scenes we get in the movie, one I hope is much less somber than the former ones. Anyway, thank you for reading! Hope this doesn't suck!

Redemption Song

Chapter 6: So Much Things To Say

The waves broke against the cracked concrete wall and the penguins waddled close, their dark eyes locked on the female wearing a red suit and green jacket. Shinji stared for far too long, unwilling to believe she was sitting there, a fishing rod in her hands, right next to him. His body was stuck in place, rod almost dangling from his numb fingers. Asuka was here.

"Nothing you wanna say, then," she dryly remarked as she shifted her weight on the box and threw the line further into the sea. Her head turned just enough so she could glare at him with her uncovered eye. "If you're just going to sit there like a mute, I'm leaving."

Shinji saw her legs begin to move and panicked. "N-No!" he exclaimed loud enough to alert the avian watchers even further. "Wait! I… uhm…" All his questions and subjects thought out through days of sitting in peace by the ocean evaporated like morning dew. "Ah… how di-uhm… did you like the bento this morning?"

Stupid. Dumb question, dumb. Why would you ask something like that? Haven't you heard Kensuke say she doesn't eat much? Haven't you? Idiot! You ruined it and now she's gon-

"It wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be," Asuka replied with nonchalance. The fact that she answered altogether allowed some air to climb back into Shinji's lungs. "Where did you get the tuna filling for the onigiri? Don't think that line there is strong enough to catch one."

The words almost sounded like a joke, had her tone not been so flat. Even so, Shinji smiled. "Mr. Bunzaemon brought some to the ration center yesterday morning. I thought it'd go well with the rice we got the other day."

Asuka nodded and stared at the sea. Something about the taste of the rice treat had been familiar, it made her stomach grumble at the memory of a few hours earlier. After a moment she tugged on the line. Nothing. "So that's all you wanted to talk about?"

Panic, or something close to it simmered in Shinji's chest. "No!" The penguins looked up again, with the leader turning its head in curiosity. "I guess… I don't know what to talk about," he said in a haste. Regardless of her constant gloom, having Asuka sit next to him for a while felt heavenly. "I really just wanted to spend some time w-uhm, I really wanted to-"

"Stop being an annoying weakling who can't put three words together?" Asuka interrupted, still not looking at him. "Because you're doing a piss poor job of it right now. Thought you were learning how not to be a brat."

Recent memories invaded Shinji's mind when a stab of anger and sadness manifested at her words. He was able to read through them with relative ease. She had placed that hat on him and made him soup, after all. Asuka had kept him alive, had gone so far as cleaning the cut on his wrist. She's just telling you to stop stammering and talk, Shinji, he realized with a small smile. Maybe she wants to talk, too.

"I… like to make bentos," he explained. "When I was growing up, I always had to cook for myself, but… sometimes my guardian would ask me to make him some food. It was nice to know I was needed, just for a moment. I liked to pick ingredients I knew he enjoyed."

Asuka's features were hidden behind her eye-patch and hair, but he distinctly saw something of a frown on her face. "I don't like sesame seeds, especially the ones that get to this village. Too salty."

"Oh!" The fear was erased as excitement began to thunder in his chest, so absolute that Shinji almost dropped the fishing rod for a second time. "I'll be sure not to use them next time! Is there something else that you don't like?"

Kensuke said she doesn't eat much anymore. Maybe if I find out more of what she likes, I can change that just a little. Just a little.

A pregnant silence after the question made both Shinji and the waddle of penguins shuffle in discomfort. "Doesn't matter," she said, letting Shinji breathe out in relief. "Food is fuel. How it tastes makes no difference."

Shinji noticed how her voice turned bitter, almost spiteful with those words. Trepidation rose in his body, making his hands tremble and his eyes drift to the birds squeaking at his right. Regardless of recent events, he still had no clue how to address her. The strain between them was such that it ignited an ember of anger in his chest. It was frustrating to not be able to do so much as hold a conversation.

"Well, guess that's it, then," Asuka grated, and pushed a box of rations in his direction. "Eat the damn rations or I'll shove them down your th-"

"Does it really not matter if it's rations or a bento?" Shinji interrupted, taking a blind leap into a possible argument or fight. "Is the food… bad? I'd like to try and make it better if that's the case."

Had he been on her uncovered side, Shinji would have seen Asuka roll her eyes. "Everybody seems to be happy with those meals you're making in the mornings."

"Yeah," he conceded. The annoyance made him forget himself. "I just thought… that maybe I could make something that you liked."

Asuka shook the fishing rod, shoulders slumping as she relaxed into the makeshift seat. "Not enough sausages today. The way you cook them, it's not bad. Also, no more sesame seeds as I said. That sauce you made at first, that weird lemon reduction." He watched intently as she shrugged, tugging the jacket hoodie upwards. "It wasn't bad either. Needed some sweet to go with the sour."

Sweet. Okay, She liked the sauce and she likes sweet. But does she, really? What can I… Viko. He has plenty of fruits around, I'm sure there's a few overripe ones he can dispose of. I could make jam! Or… or a nice fruit salad with orange juice!

Excitement had been completely absent ever since he arrived at Tokyo 3 fourteen years before. The slight reveal swelled Shinji's chest with newfound energy. "I'll keep it mind tonight for dinner!" His voice jumped a few octaves, making even Asuka turn in slight surprise. "Ah… and so, what else would you like to…uhm…"

"Kenken told me that guy in the forge makes sausages sometimes. See if you can get some," she said before he could stumble over his words further. "Fish and rice get old quick, so mix it up. Use your idiot head for something other than staring off into the distance."

Yet another needle pressed into the base of Shinji's stomach, and an emptiness engulfed his being. He had been meaning to ask Hikari, Toji or perhaps even the strange blond what the story was with the nickname. Kenken, he thought sadly, but shook his head. Focus, we're finally talking. "I'll be sure to try. You know, I wanted to…" His eyes drifted to the mark on his wrist. "I wanted to thank you for helping me, even when I was being a brat. And for putting up with me."

The hoodie almost fell from Asuka's head, letting a few strands of golden-crimson shine under the sun. It was… pretty, her hair. "Help you? By jamming protein bars down your throat?" Her tone soured again. "Or by boiling water the other night? Pfft, keep your gratitude. I don't need it."

Her angry retort passed by him with surprising ease. Strange, how her voice seemed a bit unbalanced. "Still, you have it, even if you don't want it. Thank you."

"Ugh, whatever. You're welcome then, you idiot."

Idiot. She called me idiot and not brat. That's twice now. Twice! Keep trying, like that weird guy said! Earn. Earn. Earn.

Shinji's head perked up, hand gripping the leather strap of the fishing rod. Again, excitement made his heart thunder wildly. He brought his erratic breathing under control, glanced at the eye-patch, and recalled the village leader's remark. If he wanted answers, all he needed to do was ask. Every moment he spent retreating into himself was one he would never get back. He had missed fourteen years of her life, and still dared not ask a thing about them. If the question was too blunt, she was sure to leave in a flash of crimson fury.

"Am I…" he started, and gulped down the uncertainty. "Am I going to stop needing food, or water?" His eyes focused on the ocean and not on the shuffling by his side. "Because of the curse of Eva, I mean."

The piercing gaze was almost tangible as it tried to burn a hole in his neck. "If you survive long enough for it to advance, yeah." Asuka's voice was surprising level, almost quiet. "Hunger's the first to go, least that's what Four-Eyes says. Starts going away little by little."

"How did it happen to you?" The question burst out of his mouth. Was it my fault? Did I do this? Please tell me I didn't do this.

Their gazes met, a byproduct of the courage he had cultivated. Weary, angry, but not furious like before. Something was different. "For me, the moment I woke up it was all gone," Asuka bit out. "Still ate out of habit for a while before I got sick of those rations. But it was different for me, so who knows how long it'll take you."

"Oh," Shinji's lips felt dry, his throat heavy. Fear made his heartbeat double for a moment. "If I make it that far, anyway," he muttered. The weight of his actions tumbled down again. "I guess I gave my father another weapon for his… scenario."

"Yeah, you did."

A fleeting smile tugged at his lips. For once, he had managed to hold her gaze and not shrink into himself. "I'm sorry," he said, meaning it more than ever. "I am."

Asuka scowled and turned to the water. "Whatever. At least you're not starving your stupid self."

"I'm sorry about that, too," he added, recalling the rations, and picked one up.

It seemed like he would have no luck today either, with not a single catch the entire afternoon. The protein bar was dry and stale, but Asuka had gone to the trouble of bringing it. Every day, the rations would find their way to him, and lately he'd catch a glimpse of red disappear behind a wall or pillar. "Thank you."

The penguins launched an assault on whatever school of fish neared the ruins, diving into the ocean one after the other and circling the catch. They acted in perfect coordination and maximized the hunt; every member had a task to complete, and ultimately the entire group benefited. Once, for a second during a battle, Shinji had felt such camaraderie.

"Boring conversation, Third Child," said Asuka. "All you do is go from 'thank you' to 'sorry'. Thought you'd be freaking out."

"Well, I've done a lot of that lately," he replied. His voice was strained, yet the terror he thought would stifle him was absent. It was only fitting he was to carry the curse, if he had been the one to unleash it on the entire world. "I guess it won't be so bad once I get used to it. No sleep means more time to work, I guess. More time to try."

His ears must have betrayed him. A small grunt similar to a chuckle rang across the cracked walls. "Heh, that's certainly one way of seeing things. Not scared you won't age, or change? That you'll be trapped in that body forever?"

However terrifying the thought should be, it brought a strange sense of calmness to Shinji. Perhaps the curse also meant he could spend a bit more time with her, and work to earn his permission. "It's already been so long, and it felt like just a blink to me. Doesn't seem fair that everyone else pays for my actions and that I just get to live a normal life or something."

Something shifted in the air. He dared a sidelong glance, noticing how Asuka tugged at the line every few seconds. "Well, good luck with the 'normal life' and all that. Don't want me to kill you anymore, do you?"

"Not at the moment, no," he responded, and chortled. "Haven't even caught a single fish today. If this goes on I'll be starving anyway, though."

The slight chuckle was unmissable this time. Shinji's chest swelled with an eagerness that consumed the fear altogether. "What are you, stupid?" Asuka grabbed a second protein bar and threw it at his lap. "One day you come back with five, the next zero. That's just how it is. You'd have to be a freaking penguin to get them so easily."

"Something other than earthworms or rations as bait would help, too," Shinji added while eating the second bar and reeling in the line. He placed a piece of ration on the hook, and threw the line back in the water. "I feel like the fish have wized up to my tricks."

"Wouldn't be surprising. So," he heard Asuka say in a much milder tone. "It really doesn't bother you, huh? Saying goodbye to earthy privileges like food or sleep. You think that's part of the penance, don't you?"

We're talking, we're finally talking. Just once, we had an actual conversation. It's… possible! It can be done!

"Sort of," Shinji admitted. The penguins submerged for a second serving of fresh catch. "Penance or not, it'll still take it all away. I don't know why it doesn't sound so bad. There's so much I'd like to do."

"Thought you didn't want to do anything," Asuka countered with forced nonchalance. "Why the sudden change of heart? 'Cause Viko gave you some lemonade? Give me a break, Third."

Despite how annoying the strange blonde man had been at first, Shinji could not help but respect his dedication to helping others. "I think… I'd like to get to know this world," he said, recalling the Wanderers and the shapes within them. "I'd like to try and make it better, however I can. Even if it's just… heh, even if it's just one small fish at a time."

Or one bento at a time, if that's what it takes. I don't think I would mind too much.

"Remind me to make you haul firewood in the rain the next time you fall into a catatonic depression, then," Asuka remarked with a slight note of mirth. "Or is forcing protein bars down your throat the better path?"

A gust of wind flew by and blew the hoodie off her head, making her hair dance in the wind. It was longer than Shinji remembered, had been ever since he had been retrieved, yet only then did he realize how much it had grown. How much he had missed. The irrational wish of either defeating his father or having the man and his machinations simply disappear began to take root, if only to have more time.

"I thought I was a prisoner," he recalled in a whisper. Shinji's eyes drifted to the cut again. "Since when do prisoners get to decide where their sentence will be served?"

"You are a prisoner," Asuka was quick to clarify, and pointed at her own neck. "In the end we all are, idiot. But nobody's gonna force you onto the ship, if that's what you're wondering."

Huh? Really? "But then, how am I a pris-" Shinji cut himself off, and felt around his neck to feel the collar coldly biting into his skin. "Oh." Shinji forced away the image of Kaworu dying. "What you said the other night," his eyes drifted to the walls, "about me piloting the Eva again."

"Yeah, what about it?"

"Nothing, just..." Shinji recoiled for the first time since she arrived, not wishing to break whatever miracle had allowed him to converse so long. "You said you wouldn't want me piloting if I didn't… uhm… change. I thought it was better if I didn't pilot at all. Every time I do, something horrible happens."

"Not every time." He almost choked on his breath at the sound of Asuka's voice. "If this village life is what you want as penance, then good for you." He dared another glance and saw her shrug. "Just thought it would have been nice to have some backup aside from Four-Eyes, for once."

"Oh." Shinji's train of thought crashed as the figure of a giant creature falling from the skies resurfaced. His hands burned just like that day, almost making him drop the fishing rod. It had been close to an exciting event, minus the imminent fear of death.

Backup? Like that… that one time. She still remembers. And that night, when we talked, when she came to my room. We were a team once; all of us. It feels so long ago, like another life.

Melancholy accompanied the myriad of emotions that memory brought about. So long ago, for that small moment, he had not been alone. Rei had been attempting to get him and his father to eat together, Misato had behaved as unbothered as he had ever seen her, and Asuka had acted… strange. Distant, but not in an unpleasant way, almost nervous and more irritable than usual.

For a fleeting period of time, something akin to happiness had coursed through him. Even his father had given the most minuscule acknowledgment of his existence. Was it too much to ask to go back to those days?

Yeah. That red sky in front of you, the red sand. The Wanderers, they won't just go away. You lost your right to go back to those days.

"You'd… trust me in battle?" Shinji asked, too shocked to notice the disbelief ringing through the ruins.

"Not right now, I wouldn't," Asuka admitted with ease, seemingly unbothered with how long it had taken him to articulate the short response. "But who knows. Desperate times call for desperate measures, after all. Might come a time when you have to do something. Would you?"

Would I? Shinji thought back to the trees and the stream. It would be nice to do this again, to have a conversation in that place. If he stayed in the village for the foreseeable future and his father chose to pursue his plans further, everything would most certainly be wiped away. His meager efforts to make amends would amount to nothing.

"I don't know," he muttered at last, gaze lost in the reflection of the crisscrossed moon on the water. Inaction had already cost him too much. Strength, he mused from memory. The quality or state of being physically or mentally strong. Valor. Strength of mind or spirit that enables a person to encounter danger with firmness. Both words related to Asuka; she was the living embodiment of them in his mind.

Asuka huffed in exasperation. "Wow, what an eloquent response. So reassuring, too. Great work."

The comment elicited a sad chuckle. It felt easier to smile lately, easier to laugh too. Even the dreadful news of knowing any version of his future was rather bleak did not much bother him. "I'm sorry. I just… I don't want to hurt anyone else."

"And if everybody gets hurt because you won't pilot, what then?"

He turned, surprised to see Asuka staring back. "I still don't know."

"Fair enough." Asuka's eye narrowed, almost as though she were studying him. "You're really not freaking out about the curse, are you? Say by some miracle we don't die or become whatever plasma energy your father needs, you're still trapped in that body for who knows how long. No food, no sleep."

"Yeah, but..." Shinji offered a tentative smile. "That means I'd be able to talk to you more often, so it wouldn't be so bad."

What. His face immediately heated up, and for a third time that afternoon his pulse quickened as it had during that night years before. Why did I say that?

Had he not chosen to look away then, Shinji would have caught color rising to Asuka's face as her head whipped in the opposite side. "What kind of crap is that?" she demanded with an uneven tone. "So you're just gonna talk through the night because sleep won't come or something?"

The statement rang as both as a threat and a suggestion. The rod fell from his fingers and would have dropped into the water, had he not reacted in time to retrieve it. "I... wouldn't want to impose or anything."

"Nights without sleep are boring," Asuka replied. "Guess even hearing your dumb stammering wouldn't be so horrible after a while."

The waves crashed into the bay, just as waves of newfound interest flooded Shinji's being. The mystery of Asuka's life both before and after Unit 01 took him into its core could finally be explored. At some point, maybe, he could ask her about the eye-patch, or the roundels. He could learn about her just as he learned about the village. Asuka's light chuckle had been as welcoming as the songs in the old SDAT, albeit new and refreshing like the water that ran through the clearing.

"I'll try not to sound dumb, or stammer as much," he said at last. It was a faltering agreement, one better left unspoken due to its own volatile nature. "But… there's a lot I'd love to ask, if I ever get the chance."

"No better time than the present, Third." Asuka addressed him with a glare, eye gleaming with wrath. Her body language was suddenly displaying fierceness. "If it's about the eye-patch, it's got a little to do wi-"

Shinji was straining to hear, almost leaning in completely to her side when a fish decided to bite at long last. Having gotten their fill of snacks, the penguins had opted to circle around the school of fish and drive them towards the bait. A particularly large and stubborn one clamped down on Asuka's line, struggling with sufficient vigor to have her stand and pull the fishing rod back with all her strength.

"Hey!" she yelled, and Shinji was instantly on his feet. "How the hell am I supposed to… god damn, you stupid fish, come here!"

"Wait, don't just pull at the line like that, the fish might get free!" Without realizing, Shinji mimicked the lesson Kaji Jr had given him on proper fishing and stood behind Asuka, too afraid to touch her. "You have to reel it in, so give it time to just swim around for a second and not struggle… yeah, exactly!" The thought of losing the only catch of the day drove his hands to grasp hers. "Just let it swim around for a second, and then… now!"

Asuka rotated the roller, doing as instructed with little complaint aside from a growl and a heated glare. The fish exploded out of the water, splashing them both as it battled the hook and slapped away with its tail. Shinji was quick to grab the small net the forge master had provided, and secured the catch before it could wiggle its way back to safety.

Once they were certain their likely dinner was not jumping away, both youngsters realized how close to each other they were standing. Asuka was about to throw a punch when Shinji moved away on instinct, and walked over to collect his own fishing rod from the ground. He felt her eyes on him the entire time; in their mad dash to secure the prey, the physical contact barrier had been breached. Whatever fortified glass had been standing between them was shattered.

"So." Asuka turned back to the pillars and pocketed both hands. "You're not cooking that thing here? Fresh catch and all that?"

Shinji looked around for possible elements to be used for a makeshift fire, taken aback by the strange request, but found no firewood, or anything close to it. "Uhm… not today? I don't have a knife or firewood."

"Huh, shame," said Asuka, and started walking away, leaving the rod she had brought on the ground. Instead of pulling up her hoodie, Asuka drew her hair out and let it cascade down her back. Again, Shinji thought it was pretty. Bright. "Well, have the kitchen ready for next time, then."

Next time? You mean you'll be back? You want me to cook this for you… here? But I thought you didn't need food! But then why did she tell me she didn't dislike the bentos? Has she… been getting hungry again?

His mind started going in all directions, enticed by the seemingly endless amount of possible questions he could formulate. Only when the waterfall of red hair was about to fade behind the wall did he realize that he had not yet articulated a response. "Uhm, A-Asuka!" When she didn't turn back, he cleared his throat and called out again. "Asuka!"

"What?" she yelled back, still walking away.

"Thank you for coming around today! A-And for coming over the other days, too! And for bringing the rations!" She paused after he mentioned the past few days and his noticing of her stealthy visits. "I'm really glad to have had this talk!"

It shocked him to see her shoulders slump and her head shake in derision. "Why?" He was about to respond when she continued walking away. "You know what? Doesn't matter. Whatever, remember what I said about the sesame seeds."

"I will!"

Her footfalls faded away under the sound of waves and breeze. Shinji sat by the shore for a good while after Asuka left, gathering up the rods and lines and storing away both makeshift seats where rain would not damage them. The waddle of penguins observed his every move, heads shifting towards the bag where the fish was stored. Catching the fish might have not been coincidence at all, so to please the avian companions and co-conspirators, Shinji offered a hesitant bow.

The leader fluffed its feathers and squeaked in irritation. He smiled. It felt good to smile again.

"Yeah, I can definitely do better than that, you're right. You saved me before I ruined it." A gust of cold, dry air brushed against him. The scent of salt, LCL, and strawberry. Asuka's hair dancing in the wind, shining under the sunset sun. "Pretty," he whispered to the fading light.

"Pleasing or attractive to the eye, as by delicacy or gracefulness."


The splinter stung as it embedded itself in his finger with no consideration for the glove.

Ryoji cursed and instantly removed the earbuds. His head whipped in all directions to ensure his guardian was not around, and breathed a sigh of relief. Of all the strange quirks Viko had, his rejection of foul language was by far the weirdest. With no deranged blonde to criticize, he pressed play on the 'borrowed' music player and kept on with the task.

Lemons were quick to catch fungi and rot away that time of the year. Letting the fruit fall to the ground was not an option; sprouts and seeds were too precious to waste, so the local botany expert put all the youngsters to work. Their payment was mostly a part of the bounty, and occasionally some sweet caramels the man concocted, which always had a sour-sweet taste to them. His treats were famous in the village, and held value as both dessert and a bargaining chip.

"Kill your suffering and drown your tears, happiness beyond all that's real," he sang and swayed with the heavy riffs. "This room of nightmare, so much to see. This room of nightmare shall set you free!"

Too engrossed in the music and the task, Ryoji failed to notice a cerulean eye shine through the morning sun, hidden away under a tree, and narrow at his disjointed movements. After filling a second bag with ripe fruit, he moved over to the pears and apples. Viko took great care of these trees, fiercely protecting them against disease or drought. Apples were Ryoji's favorites, after all.

"Set you free!" he sang with a grin. It felt good to not wear that heavy suit for once. "Close your eyes and you will see!"

He collected a good ten ripe apples before realizing he was not alone in the small forest. The hairs on his nape stood on end, his instincts flaring as though he were in danger, or in the presence of a predator. Fearing the worst such as the apparitions, red wolves and wandering monsters his guardian had described when he was younger, Ryoji almost jumped into the stream when he saw the red suit and crimson-golden hair.

"Wow!" he took a step back in shock, not expecting to find the mysterious Second Child sitting on a log near the water. She offered no acknowledgment towards his presence except a slight glare.

"You're loud," Asuka commented. She laid back on the log and crossed her arms. "And your accent sucks. By far the worst I've heard in a while."

Well, you're just a ray of sunshine, aren't you? I totally don't feel like I'm being stalked by an angry beast right now, Ryoji thought dispassionately and produced an apple from the bag. He threw it her way. Shikinami caught it in midair and stowed it in the green jacket.

"Hello, Major. It is 'Major' now, right?" said Ryoji, taking a fruit for himself. "Been a while since I've seen you."

Her cold gaze fixed on him for a few seconds before moving over to the peach sprouts. "You look a bit like your mother. You behave a little like she used to, as well. Carefree and idiotic."

Damn, an insult of endearment. How amazing that Mr. Kensuke has to deal with this on a daily basis when she's not in that giant ship. Ryoji shuddered at the thought. "So, you know who my mom is?" He tried to sound uninterested and failed spectacularly. The bitterness almost leaked off his voice. "You say she used to be carefree?"

"Yeah, when the world wasn't as broken as it is now." He saw the strange young woman tug at her hoodie to further obscure the eye-patch. "She actually used to be fun to hang out with. Then your father died and, well… things got worse."

"This is a sudden, bitter and quite honestly sad conversation," Ryoji stated as he leaned against the apple tree, staring at her back with a frown. Speaking of his mother or father had been souring his mood as of late. Viko attributed it entirely to his age. "You came all the way out here to tell me my mother used to be a fun person, but is not anymore?"

Shikinami shrugged and turned further away. It irked Ryoji further how she did not bother to turn back, and instead produced some strange handheld device and began to press buttons. "I came out to have some fresh air, you just happened to be here."

"I'm happy to listen to my music and go about my job, thank you," Ryoji almost snarled back. Something about the girl rubbed him the wrong way. "I appreciate the incredible insight on the woman who left me here alone. Thank you!"

He gave a mocking bow and almost ripped the next apple from the tree, munching on his snack with furious bites. The fruit was juicy and sweet, and its flavor helped him forget about the intruder for a while. Three more pear trees needed his attention, yet Ryoji's feet refused to move another step, throwing heated glares at the pilot ever so often.

Don't fall for her game, that's what she wants. He urged himself to stay quiet and walked to the nearest peach sapling. Pretending to study it was easier than pretending she was not there. Just keep doing your job and forget about what she said. Not like Viko hasn't told you about your oh-so-heroic mother.

Silence stretched out, disturbed only by the sound of the water, the music in his ears and the chirp of birds. The sound effects of her game began to make his eyebrow twitch as he accidentally plucked a healthy leaf from a young plant. "Ah, god damn it!" He rose and kicked the ground twice. "Man, Shinji's way better at this than I am, how come I'm the one struck with this damn plant duty?"

"The brat's over at Suzuhara's house," explained his unwanted guest. "Old man Horaki needed some help, and Kenken offered to take the idiot there these next few days. You'd rather haul wood than collect lemons and apples?"

Ryoji groaned in discomfort. Why did the damn 'untouchable' Shikinami have to come and ruin his nice, quiet day? "I don't mind, I just don't have the dexterity needed to do this properly." His eyes drifted to the row of growing plants. "Every tree means hundreds of new seeds we can send to the other villages, so it's important work. I don't like to think I'll mess it up by not paying enough attention."

"Hmm." Shikinami continued to play, paying little mind to his souring mood. "It's not like the brat can be any better at this, seeing how he can barely articulate sitting and fishing all afternoon."

Even if Ryoji hardly knew Shinji, hearing him be referred to as a brat after watching how intently he worked stoked the flames of his anger. "Why do you talk about him like that? Why are you even talking to me right now? I was perfectly happy doing my work, but you know what? If it means having to hear you complain about Shinji or saying some cryptic crap about my mother, I can always come back later."

"What you do is not my business. So long as you don't do anything stupid like, say-" Shikinami pocketed the device, and produced the recruiting form he had given Kensuke two days before. "Trying to participate is this never-ending war of ours. There's a reason your mother left you here." She ripped the paper in half and then into smaller pieces.

"Hey! I worked hard on that application!" After three curt steps Ryoji was next to her, almost screaming at the top of his lungs and trying to rescue whatever remained of the form. "I did everything Mr. Kensuke asked me to do! Why would you do this?"

"Because you're really dumb if you think either Kenken, your mother or that crazy guardian of yours are gonna let you partake in this mess." Shikinami's reply came with a voice of steel, with no room for argument or retaliation. She was Kensuke's superior after all, in charge of the village's defense. "Be happy you have people who don't want you to be cannon fodder for war, brat."

"You-you're just… this…" The papers crinkled in his hands. He had talked about getting on the Wunder with Shinji the last time they had caught some fish together. She had surely heard about his plans whilst spying on the Third Child. "This is my decision! My life! Who the hell do you think you are, to not let me go see my mom?"

"It was your mother who sent you here. Believe me when I say it was to protect you." Shikinami stood and walked over to Viko's preferred perch. "Forget all about this fighting nonsense, it's for the best."

"No!" He clutched the remnants of the application against his chest. "I just want to help like Mr. Kensuke does, like Viko!"

"Then keep taking care of these plants and trees. That's what everybody wants for you. You're not cursed." Shikinami pointed at her eye-patch. "You get to live a somewhat normal, happy life. Why don't you learn to appreciate that? Not all of us are so lucky."

Whatever retort he was about to throw back died in his throat. She spoke with such melancholy, while sounding nonchalant all the same. Ryoji took several deep breaths. As far as he knew, Shikinami had never had an even remotely normal life. She had been a soldier from the first moment, like Viko's brother, most likely to die in battle like the man had.

"I just… wanted to help," he confessed at last. His shoulders slumped. "Shinji keeps telling himself that every day, every time I see him. Poor guy's been through so much and still he tries to help."

"That's a rather new development," Shikinami countered with another shrug. He caught a frown occupying her features, as though the recollection was particularly bitter. "Not too long ago he was rotting away in a corner, not eating. Your tree-hugging friend gave him a good pep talk, though."

Throwing himself on the grass a few meters away from her, Ryoji groaned. "Yeah, he's good at those. So what, I stay here and look after the trees, work over at the pillars, get myself a family and kids and die of old age? Sounds boring."

"To you, maybe," said Shikinami. A sidelong glance allowed Ryoji to glimpse at the exhaustion in her gaze. "Learn to appreciate it, if you can. Don't try to do heroic crap like your parents." She stood, picked up a lime laying next to her foot, and threw it at boy's chest. "Just make sure you look after the idiot when I'm gone. He can be very feeble."

He sat up in shock after recovering the stray fruit and storing it in his bag. "After you're gone? Take care of which idiot? There's a lot of them in this village! Hey, don't just walk away from me!" he half-yelled with a lazy smile. For some reason, the woman did not seem as annoying anymore. "What do you mean heroic like my parents? Are you telling me my mom is a hero or something?"

"There's only one idiot in this village I keep tabs on. He's a… prisoner." Shikinami revealed, not stopping. "I'll be gone very soon. Someone has to make sure he doesn't wither away. Up for the task?"

"Where the hell are you goi-oh." The implication sunk in; she was going to war, and keeping him out of it. Keeping both him and Shinji out of it. "You mean he's gonna be allowed to stay here?"

Shikinami shrugged, and stopped where the trail to Kensuke's house began. "I'm considering it. Depends on him, really. Whatever the idiot wants to do. Pfft, only he gets to break the world and still get to choose whether or not to live in it."

The moon began to reflect in the stream, its reds much darker than the mane of hair Ryoji saw scramble away every other day by the ocean. Once, being much younger and foolish, he had complained to his guardian about the limited space in the village, their strenuous living conditions, and the constant whispers and insults revolving around a 'Shinji Ikari', some of which he had repeated. It had been the only time the blonde had gotten angry with him.

"Viko says that whatever happened, didn't happen exclusively because of Shinji, and that blaming him is stupid," he recited from memory. "And recently, he told me Shinji was trying to… set things right? Oh, and that he was used by his father like a tool for his weird world domination scheme. So really, it's all that Gendo Ikari's fault. Even my mom leaving me here is because of that bastard."

"Then how come you don't hate Shinji for it?"

"Huh? That'd be very dumb," Ryoji replied and looked up at the sky. Night had arrived quicker than expected; if he delayed any more his guardian was sure to worry. "Shinji's not his father any more than I'm my mother or my father. We may look and even act alike, but we're different people. I think you know that, keeping an eye on him all the time like you do." A wolfish grin drew on his face. "You like him or something?"

"What are you, stupid?" she asked, walking off. "He's a brat."

Ryoji stared at her back for a while, then pressed play on his music device and collected a few ripe pears from the trees. "Oh?" he said once certain she was out of earshot. "And you're not a brat? Give me a break, Major Shikinami."

Regardless of the many warnings, threats and advice against it, his mind was made up. The next time the Wunder landed he would embark on it, and get to know his mother at last. If Shinji was trying, after all, what excuse did he have not to?


Metal seared through the wood as the ax split the log in two.

"That's great work!" Hikari remarked with a smile as she played with Tsubame. "Don't overdo it, though. You gave us a good scare some days ago, you know."

Shinji collected the pieces of firewood and carried them over to the pyre. The amount of times the phrase 'don't overdo it' had been said to him lately was starting to grate on his nerves. An itch burned somewhere in his mind he couldn't scratch away, a bizarre annoyance akin to the anger that initially grew with the smiles from the villagers.

"I'm sorry," he recited. "I didn't think I'd pass out. Just wanted to make sure R-uhm… that Mrs. Lookalike and the workers had enough firewood. They work hard in the field all morning long." He placed the next log and sliced through it with a grunt. "It was a dumb thing to do."

"Well, maybe not dumb, but certainly not responsible considering you were still recovering." Hikari smiled at her baby's attempts to wrestle a pear from her hand. She wore a slightly mischievous smirk, feeling Shinji's discomfort from the moment he had arrived. "How's the hand, by the way? Toji was worried it would get infected again with all the work you've been doing."

Yet another log was cut and added to the pile. Shinji spared a glance at the scar before picking up the ax. "It's fine, thank you for asking. Hasn't bothered me in a few days, actually." Asuka had been the last to clean and dress it, and for once had not been brutal with the gauze pads. "I forget it's even there sometimes."

"Awesome!" Hikari commented. Tsubame began to yawn after getting bored of trying to reach the fruit to no avail. "Toji will certainly feel proud of his handiwork!" She watched Shinji throw hesitant glances at her every few moments. "Say, Shinji... Kensuke mentioned Asuka eating more often lately. That's also amazing news. Seems like you really are a young culinary master."

Knowing the reason behind Asuka's lack of appetite had not much helped matters anymore than the conversation had. Shinji felt hopeful and at the same time terrified. A simple question could shatter whatever strange emotion began to sizzle through his veins after fourteen years.

"Not really," he remarked, glancing at the pile. His arms and back were starting to burn, but luckily only four logs remained. "Guess I had a lot of time to try out stuff when I lived with my teacher. Now, with everyone going through the trouble of bringing stuff to the kitchen, I try to not make their hard work go to waste. It's the least I can do."

The least you can do, huh, Hikari mused, smile widening. It's nice. This is nice. Seeing him not be so gloomy, seeing him squirm as he tries to not blurt out the question. Acting like he's not dying to know. Heh, I think hearing that from Kensuke might have made the gears in his head start moving in a direction that doesn't involve his endless guilt complex. He's worried about teenage stuff for once.

"You're doing plenty, helping my father with this firewood issue. Viko's normally happy to come and do it, but he's been running all over the village collecting seeds for the next time the Wunder lands." With Tsubame snoring lightly in her arms, Hikari saw the perfect opportunity to nudge a bit more. "Kensuke's also been bouncing all over the place, trying to make everything look as tidy as it can be."

Shinji almost tripped over at the mention of their village leader. While in Kensuke's presence he acted as closed off as he did with everyone else. She noticed a new discomfort arise in him. Not anger nor envy; something more like apprehension reflected in his gaze.

The last two pieces were split and stored. Hikari noticed how clumsily Shinji covered the firewood from rain, how he stared at the ground, the forest and then back at her in quick succession. Hmm, seems like a bit more poking is required. Very well then, Mr. Ikari. Have it your way.

"It's weird," she spoke with a soft, almost disinterested voice. "The very few times Asuka's been here, she never leaves that old train station unless it's absolutely necessary. It was quite the shock for a lot of us to see her the other night."

Hikari struggled to suppress a giggle when Shinji's head perked up. "Really?" he asked. "So does she… I mean when she comes to the village. Uhm… does she always stay with Kensuke?"

Ha! That wasn't so hard, was it? Finally, some progress and potentially delicious gossip material. "Yeah, pretty much. We didn't see her for a couple of years, back before the village was what it is right now, and when we finally met again… a lot had happened. Things weren't the same, even if her aspect hadn't changed a bit."

So close. Hikari could feel the question coming, and the anticipation was too much. Something as pleasing to witness as the rekindling bond of those two was too good a thing not to enjoy. And if she could help in the slightest of ways, why not?

"So, Hor-"

"Hikari's fine, Shinji. No need for honorifics between friends. And I know you're dying to ask me something, so go ahead. My lips are sealed, if that's what you're worried about."

"Right, so..." Shinji looked at the ground as he pretended to inspect the ax's edge. "Do you know if Asuka and Kensuke are like… uhm… what I meant to say is… I…"

A few chuckles escaped her. The indecisiveness and trepidation Shinji displayed was simply too endearing, and a welcoming contrast to his earlier visits. "You mean to ask what the nature of their relationship is? Nod for yes." Color rose to the boy's face; his head moved up and down as he focused on the grass underneath his feet. "As suspected. How about we walk back to the house? I'd love a little help in the kitchen. Father just got us some lovely fresh tuna from Village 1 again, I'll be sure to put some away for you."

Shinji was quick to trot back to her side. "You don't need to do that, Hikari." His eyes drifted to Tsubame, drawing a small smile. "She's all tuckered out, huh?"

"She failed in her mission to get this, got bored and went to sleep," she said, and produced the pear. She handed it to him. "Here. You've been working hard all afternoon. It's ripe, Ryoji came by this morning to deliver some."

"Thank you," Shinji answered, taking the offered payment and biting into it with gusto. "Wow, these are really sweet."

"Oh yes they are. Wait until you try the apples. Now then." Hikari leaned in and snickered. "Are we feeling a bit jealous of our dear Major Shikinami's pet name for Kensuke?"

"What? No!" Shinji almost choked on a mouthful of pear. "They… seem to be very comfortable around each other, a-and Asuka has this habit of…" His face grew redder still. "I just feel like they're close, and I was a bit curious about that."

Because a certain someone wants to be a little closer to our dear, elusive little major, Shinji? Hmm? Finally! Fourteen years in the making, jeez.

"To me, it's just a convenient arrangement." Hikari was sure to watch Shinji's every reaction to her words. "She didn't feel like speaking to anyone, and I think that fact remains to this day. Getting Asuka to sit and speak her mind is as rare to see as say… an Aurora Borealis."

Her smirk only widened at the way Shinji stumbled and almost dropped the ax. "I-It is?" he asked in shock. "Like when we were going to school together?"

"I'd say it's worse than back then. What happened, you know-" Hikari pointed at her eye, "-that closed her off even worse. Since Kensuke was always too busy helping his dad out, he never really bothered to ask her about what happened. Because of that, Asuka felt comfortable around him, I suppose." Hikari paused to ensure Shinji's attention was solely focused on her words. "They're like brothers, or a son with his daughter in recent years."

The gentle caress of overgrown grass nipped at her ankles. Shinji's stride and posture strengthened at her remark. The scenario unfolded as expected.

"Oh… like brothers?" Hikari's smirk only broadened with the way Shinji's voice strained with relief. "Son and daughter? Ah… But was there something…uhm," he mumbled more to himself than her. She realized his gaze drifted to the healing gash on his wrist. "It sounds like they've… known each other for a while."

Aw, you poor thing, Hikari thought, glancing over to the houses. You think you've already lost the war, when there's not even a single battle to fight. "Yeah, certainly. We've all known her for quite a few years, but…" She shook her head with a small smile. "Asuka's never bothered to eat any food I've ever sent, nor does she take kindly to Kensuke trying to cook. The brave major calls it a wasteof resources. She doesn't talk to any of us, not even Kensuke."

"Oh, but-" Shinji tripped on a root, almost falling flat on his face. "They're so… familiar with each other. I thought there was something there."

"Yeah, a lot of caring on both sides, I'll give you that," Shinji flinched at the statement. It's fine, Shinji. It really is. You don't need to worry about any of it. "Maybe Asuka even tried something some years ago, but it never went anywhere." She walked in front of him and brought both to a stop a few feet away from the Suzuhara household.

"Her heart wasn't in it," Hikari revealed, and tapped at Shinji's arm. "He's been there for her, as a friend, for a long time. They have a mutual understanding at best, and nothing more. Kensuke's probably the only person she feels comfortable with." The same mischievous smile from her youth returned. "That is, until you came back in the picture."

"Huh? Me?" Shinji's gaze drifted away from the house and into the forest, avoiding her eyes at all cost. It was painful to see how much he had deluded himself into believing the battle had been lost before it began. "Asuka hates me."

"Are you gonna keep telling yourself that over and over again until you believe it?" Hikari countered easily. Her fingers brushed on Shinji's chin. Their eyes met for the briefest second. "Asuka doesn't hate you. She even came to the village to pick you up and put that nice little cap on you the moment you climbed into the car." His cheeks colored again. Oh, so the little cap means something to you, does it? "She's very fond of those roundels, at least that's what Kensuke says. Never lets him touch them at all. And yet she put that cap on your head without a moment's hesitation."

Shinji almost fled from her touch, and despite the baby rousing at her rough movement, Hikari trapped his shoulder and kept him in place. "What does the cap have anything to do with her and Kensuke?" he asked her, almost pleading.

"Everything." Hikari gave him a gentle, encouraging expression. "You've heard this before, from my idiot's husband's mouth, probably from my father and Kensuke himself." Tsubame let out a loud cry, demanding food. "Asuka's never given anybody anything. Not a thing, not so much as a glass of water. Who do you suppose finds those batteries for you?"

Warmth spread all over her being when Shinji's hand flew to his pocket, where the small black box normally traveled. "They uhh… they're suddenly there, on top of the blankets every couple of days. I thought it was Kensuke who left them ther-"

"Our great commander does many things, but definitely has little time in his busy day to find those specific batteries all the time," Hikari elaborated. "With all the spare time Asuka's got and Kensuke's enthusiasm with electronics, it can't be that hard to come across those."

"You mean it's her?" Shinji managed to say once they got to the house. Hikari set the baby in her crib and started handing him fresh ingredients to slice. Bunzaemon voiced out his hunger from the kitchen. "And it really is just like a… parental thing?"

"It most certainly is." The temptation to ask was just too strong. "You're very interested in this," she remarked while heating up water for their stew. "Do you like our dear major or something?"

"N-No!" The high pitched tone of Shinji's voice worked better than any explanation he might have come up with. "Asuka's already older than I am, like you." His gaze drifted over to the cradle. "Whatever was there, if there ever was something, is long gone." She heard the knife he was working with slice clean through the apple. "I'm too late. Useless, like always. I tried what you said. Tried to cook for her."

"First of all," said Hikari, index finger held high. "Asuka's not older than you. She may say otherwise, but in here?" She tapped her temple. "She's fourteen still. She's been eating lately, more than ever before, and she came to the village center." No visible reaction came from Shinji. Maybe it's time to be a bit more direct. "Second, I don't recall her ever telling Kenken he's an idiot, if that means anything. You just need a little courage, is all."

"Right," Shinji said sourly. "What does that word even mean?"

She offered no response, but the hesitant smile Shinji displayed while cooking was more than enough to let her know he understood. There was still hope left in this world. The small victory of helping the boy realize where he stood was sweeter than any of Viko's treasured caramels.

Once the food was boiling, she recalled the mention their village leader had made of a certain book laying around his house. "Courage," she announced, smiling. "To possess strength in the face of pain or grief."


"You like him or something?"

"Shut up. It's been fourteen years. I'm basically twice his age, even if I don't look the part. Stupid brat."

Her fingers punched the buttons without reprieve while the morning sun illuminated the old station little by little. A gust of crisp morning air filtered through the open window, and made her glance at the dark tracksuit drying off a few feet away. Both jackets had needed washing after getting splashed with mud the day Shinji had collapsed. The cold air made her shudder.

"What a great freaking curse this is," she said to the empty space and the unwanted, quiet companion dozing off within her eye. "You get to live rent-free in my body, deprive me of food or rest, and you don't do a thing about say… pain or cold. What a great parasite you are."

After decimating another level, the cold became too much for her bare skin to tolerate. Her jacket was still soaking wet, having been the last thing the idiot had laundered, so her options were Kensuke's itchy coat, the red sweater the idiot was suddenly so fond of, or the stupid tracksuit top. She walked over to Shinji's blankets, resolute on taking back her garment, but stopped in her tracks when the cap came into view. The last time she had seen it, it had been on the brat's head as an extra precaution.

It sat atop the book and jacket, neatly arranged, with dim light reflecting on the surface of the roundels. Shinji was so pathetically careful when folding and ordering his little corner. It was reassuring in some way; he was aware enough not to fall into the old patterns. Why did she not want to interfere with her own clothing?

"Ugh, this is so freaking dumb." Asuka huffed and shook her head, grabbed the dark jacket instead and zipped it close all the way to her neck. She leaned against the wall, eye narrowing at the black box sitting next to her cap. "Fine. He gets to keep the stupid jacket. I was the one who said I didn't want it anymore. Let him have it."

She picked the SDAT from it's perch atop the dictionary, feet moving towards the window. Shinji would be taking a while today as well. With his health improving, he was able to further assist in various tasks. He would rise earlier than Kensuke, make breakfast, leave her a bento, and go straight to the ration center to prepare meals for the workers. After the morning shift was done he'd go to the ruins and fish for a few hours, and either look after the seedlings or help in the Suzuhara household until the sun went down.

"Let's see what the brat has on this stupid device." Asuka pressed rewind with a strange sense of apprehension. "Boring crap from decades ago, I'm sure."

Years of caring for her WonderSwan had taught her how to handle old technology, yet Asuka manipulated the music player as though it was already broken and prone to disintegrate into tiny pieces at the slightest misstep. Some odd feeling came over her once the buds were placed in her ears, a rare sensation of familiarity.

Freaking thing's been there almost staring at me. It's boring just sitting in this place all damn day playing video games. I don't even care if the stupid music is good or not, I just need something to occupy my mind with. Yeah. That's all it is.

Rewind. Stop. Play.

The first tunes were indeed some old Japanese pop classics, with most of the following songs being classical pieces. Asuka sat by the blankets and allowed the songs to lull her senses, they carried her to snowy mountains, gray tracking fields, solitary changing rooms. Nostalgic, painful, but reassuring.

Some lonesome piano and cello tunes followed, each more melancholic than the last. The scent of pine and fresh grass was imprinted on the idiot's jacket, which along with the songs carried her mind to the clearing, and the night she had pushed food bars into his mouth. Her eyes drifted to the dictionary. Every day a new word would be marked, every day the translation of the song carried further down the page.

Every day the bentos were more intricate, the taste more discernible and unique.

The coming of noon saw her still sitting next to the idiot's meager belongings, most of which had been hers not too long ago. Lately, she'd catch Shinji stealing glances at either her or the stupid cap. There a little makeshift pyre encircled by small rocks in his sad fishing station, with a small stack of firewood that grew each day. He could hold a conversation lately, and sometimes even smiled.

"Still as feeble as ever, though," she whispered. "Always so unreliable."

"Do something already, Baka Shinji!"

"Heh." She shook her head and stared at the ceiling. "Well, almost always."

After another hour, the final song began to play, the one he had been listening to and translating. There was nothing overly special about it; if anything it was simple when compared to the more intricate classical pieces. Some parts of it she could somehow relate to; having nothing in life but a single purpose, or a song. Fighting endlessly in a losing battle.

The bitter taste of loneliness invaded her being just as the song stopped. She rewound the tape and returned the box atop the dictionary and her jacket. Shinji was bound to arrive soon, most likely with a healthy dinner prepared by him and Hikari. Quiet days and warm nights with the senseless banter of both males as they spoke at the table became the norm.

For the first time since arriving at the village, her shoulders relaxed. I suppose this is how an actual vacation feels like. Brat's not trying to die or escape and he's easy enough to predict. Kenken looks happy that he's getting food made by someone else, and not whatever gruel he concocts. The tunes played back in her mind, easing the battle senses.

"I've always been alone," she repeated. "If it weren't for that stupid battle, for those days in that dirty, cramped apartment, I wouldn't know anything else. I don't know which is the worse curse. You..." Her hand massaged the area around the eye-patch. "Or him."

Can't even count on Four-Eyes to not be late to save her own damn life. And the idiot's more likely to blow us all to hell than to help in any way. Well, whatever. I'm waiting for my own funeral one way or the other.

Her body moved to the table, as though dragged by some unseen magnetic force. The Major scowled at the bento and the tiny container resting beside it, but Asuka still sat and started to eat, mind drifting to a classroom. Boys ogling her, curt but fun conversations with the former class rep, stolen glimpses at the fool who bothered to cook for her and for the First.

The lemon reduction was much more balanced this time, and went better with the fish filet than it ever would have on top of old and stale protein bars. It was sour like the memory of realizing how Shinji had almost cracked the world in half to save the First, and sweet like the small video trapped on the old cellphone.

Lazy hours, quiet and peaceful, the sound of the wind and gentle rain outside. The taste of the lightly caramelized apple and pear slices in the small tray next to her lunch. A sense of absurd, boring sense of normalcy settled in, one that never manifested when she was aboard the ship or in her entry plug. For so long the only place she belonged had been the blood-smelling tube, it had never occurred to her that life outside of it was possible.

Certainly a normal life was out of the question for Asuka Langley Shikinami. Small moments shared at the table at night, or watching the idiot fish or talk nonsense with Misato's brat, were the closest she'd get to any of that boring yet endearing normalcy.

"Suppose this is better than nothing," she reasoned after the food was gone. Her stomach growled despite her having just eaten. "At least the taste's not as mediocre as before."


Two days after conversing with Hikari, Shinji finished building his makeshift fireplace.

What initially started as a pyre of wood rounded by a bunch of stones turned into a small cooking station after repeated trial and error. Ryoji had suggested using tadpoles and earthworms as bait, which worked wonders for his daily catches. Still, having charcoaled his first attempt at cooking it there meant no more of the precious food resource could be wasted on his foolish endeavor.

His penguin companions had let their discomfort be known at the smoke that now regularly fled out the walls. They screeched at him as whenever he walked past, and yet every day he was just a bit luckier with the catch.

After the fourth try he figured out how to keep the cinders burning, and a fifth attempt had him studying how to keep the ashes from flying off with the ocean breeze. The fishing rod was held in place by heavy rocks as he worked on the pet project. Time went by faster when he was busy, so the small moments of reflection as he sat near the water were more precious as his routine filled with more work.

"She's been really quiet these past few days," he said to the penguin leader. The bird had made a habit of standing next to him whenever the sun began to set. "Somebody told me the ship's coming in a few weeks. The Wunder or whatever it's called. I've tried to talk to her a few times, and it hasn't worked."

The bird shook its head and ruffled its feathers.

"I know, I know. It could've gone much worse. At least she didn't yell or get angry either time." A loud squeak of approval rang through the walls. "It was kind of exciting. I didn't know what was going to happen, but then I thought whatever did happen wasn't going to be worse than what's already happened, so… I'm starting to talk in circles, right?" He turned to see the penguin had already started waddling back to its group. "I'll take it as a yes, then."

He caught two small fish, one of which he released back in the water. Working in the mornings, going over to the pillars from time to time, caring for the young trees, visiting the rice fields, cutting and delivering firewood; these were all activities he had never done before and now looked forward to.

Somewhere between him collapsing in the village and being 'recruited' to care for the seedlings, the smiles which had angered him were now a welcoming sight. The memory of the Wanderers clashing against the barrier only worked to fuel his desire to make better meals. One tree at a time, one smile at a time.

"Never too late," Shinji recalled.

"Late?"

A girl's voice startled him. Soft footsteps approached, barely discernible through the sound of the waves crashing. His eyes drifted to the familiar features of this stranger who followed and gazed at him with fondness. "Hi," he greeted, nodding to the box next to him. "How was work in the fields today?"

"I have now planted forty-three rows of rice, and the bean sprouts are blooming." The girl with Rei's face gingerly took the offered seat, and placed the rations between them. "I am late?"

"No, not at all." Shinji grabbed one of the bars and bit into it. Stale and dry, but it was food. "Thank you for bringing these. Please tell Hikari and Toji I said thanks."

"Understood." He felt her curious gaze fix on his pathetic effort at a decent-looking fireplace. "Are you constructing something?"

Ever since Asuka visited, he had kept the second box next to him in hopes she would return. "Yeah."

Shinji turned to catch her inspecting every detail of the small pyre. "Is it a… kitchen? Ms. Hikari explained what its purpose was yesterday."

A kitchen would be nice. I wouldn't have to worry about the food tasting like smoke and ash. "It's just a little fireplace. Do you like fish? I've been trying some new things."

"I have enjoyed every single dish you have prepared thus far," she said in that quiet voice he remembered. The words made his face heat up. "I do not like the taste of meat, however."

Figured you'd say that, he thought, checked the line and glanced back at the rocks. "One of your work partners said she'll bring me some shiitake mushrooms. I'll try to make something half-decent for you tomorrow."

He caught the girl's face coloring slightly. Where could Ayanami be? Was she still trapped in Unit 01?

"Thank you," she said. "May I ask something?"

"Sure."

"Can you give me a name?"

His brow furrowed in confusion and shock. "Your name?"

She nodded, crimson eyes sparkling. "I do not have a name. I'd like for you to give me one."

A name. The request made Shinji's chest shudder; his father had not so much as bothered to offer any form of humanity to her. In all her innocence, she could probably not grasp the severity of such horrendous acts. Instead of rousing anger or hatred towards the man, he felt pity. Had his mother's death weighed so heavily on Gendo Ikari's soul?

"Can I think about it for a little while?" he asked back. "I've never named anybody before. Wouldn't want to mess it up."

"That is acceptable." Her eyes drifted to the waves. "Has there been any luck?"

"Yeah, actually." Not only had there been luck in with the fish, the small project was starting to take shape. Even the tasteless rations were not so terrible when eaten with company. "The seed I found the other day is a little plant now. And I've been getting lots of stuff to work with this morning."

"That is… good to hear? It was said this was the correct response to hearing of someone's day." The inquisitiveness flowed in waves from her gentle voice.

"It is," Shinji answered, offering the best smile he could muster.

They fell into a comfortable silence, interrupted only by the sound of him munching on the food bars until they ran out. I was hungrier than I thought, Shinji realized once the food was all but gone. More work meant more energy expended. Additionally, if he ate enough then Asuka would not feel the need to jam food into his mouth. His fingers brushed against the choker. She's been wearing that scarf around the house all the time.

"The rations," Ms. Lookalike said after some time. "They were not given to me by Ms. Horaki or Mr. Suzuhara." She gingerly picked up the last bar and began nibbling on it. Her face scrunched up in distaste. It was wonderful to see her express emotion so fully. "The Second Child has been facilitating them."

"Asuka?" Again, Shinji was taken aback as he stared at the red and white wrappers. "She gives these to you?"

"Every day after finishing my duties and before going to the bathhouse, the Second Child meets me near this area and provides them, with instructions that you are to consume each and every one." Confusion and what he assumed was apprehension drew over her features. "Is she your partner, as Mrs. Horaki is to Mr. Suzuhara?"

Shinji's face colored in seconds. "L-Like Hikari and Toji? No! No, of course not. Nothing like that. I'm… a prisoner," he explained, tone becoming remorseful. "I'm not allowed to die, so she's only making sure I don't starve myself or anything."

"Is this also why she comes to see you with such frequency?" She inquired next.

Hikari's words, Kensuke's remarks and Toji's playful banter bounced around inside Shinji's skull, sowing doubt in the reasoning he had been convinced of for so long. "You know, I'm not really sure anymore," he admitted. "Lots of things have been pointed out to me lately. I have no clue why she comes around, but… I'd like to know, I'd like to ask her. Spend a little more time with her. With you, with Kensuke." His gaze softened at the setting sun. "With everyone."

The first mountain had been conquered. Alas, in his mind it was now little more than a small hill. In front of him the red wasteland stretched out, with Wanderers and other horrors lurking in the grotesque world he had created. Strenuous and spiky mountains that stretched to the skies lay ahead. Little by little, step by step, perhaps he'd discover if redemption hid at the peak of the highest one.

"You wish to spend more time with her," Ms. Lookalike echoed, pensive. "I believe I understand, now. One wishes to spend more time with those that are special. It is… beautiful to behold."

The creaks of the old box and the same soft footsteps retreating announced the departure of his visitor. Shinji offered a second, more animated and grateful smile. "Thank you for the food. And thanks for coming to see me. It's nice to spend time with you like this."

"I too enjoy these moments," she replied, and offered a warm smile. "One is supposed to say goodbye, yes?"

The girl's pure nature had become something to look forward to, as well. "Yeah. Did Hikari tell you what it means?" He asked. "I was speaking to her about it the other day."

"Yes." The breeze caressed her face, made her own locks dance. "Goodbye is a promise to see each other again."


"Damn, five today! You're getting really good at this, Shinji!"

Kensuke beamed at the young man as he inspected the catch, mouth salivating. Shinji's cooking was delicious, and after years of eating rations and gruel, every meal felt heavenly. Commerce with the other villages was at an all-time high, broadening their monotonous daily menu.

"The tadpoles work great," Shinji remarked, and scratched his cheek. "I kind of feel bad about them, and about the earthworms, but it works great."

Yeah, I figured you'd say that. Kid doesn't want to hurt a fly, Kensuke mused while carrying the bag to the kitchen. Five rather robust fish had been the day's reward. "You want to try that smoked mackerel you wanted to do the other night? Part of your project?"

Shinji hid his face. The strange pyre being erected within the ruins was impossible to miss. "Uhm, since they're of decent size, and I found some nice cedar to smoke it with in the afternoon. I think I can make some sushi with it later."

Kensuke's mouth watered. "Sushi?" he asked, dumbfounded. "Oh, man! It's been years since I last had sushi! Man, you're really spoiling me, lately."

"It's the least I can do," Shinji called out from the kitchen. He had already moved to the counter and was preparing the fish as they conversed. Kensuke glanced across the room and smirked at the silhouette glaring from the other room. "The new bean sprouts and the peach tree are growing well."

"Oh?" Kensuke sank into the seat with a deep, contented sigh. "Yeah, it's a good time of the year for new trees to grown. Plenty of rainfall." The cautious footfalls neared the dining area. "Want me to go set the fire while you do this?"

"I can do it in a little while," Shinji replied. "You're probably very tired from working all day."

"Nah, I'm good." Kensuke readjusted his glasses, smiling wide once the shadow of a certain Shikinami became more discernible. "It'll only be a couple of seconds. Thanks for the firewood, by the way."

Once he exited the house, Asuka walked over to the kitchen and plopped on the seat furthest from Shinji. Smirk ever present, Kensuke kept a close eye on the window as he worked with the firewood. Nobody said a thing for the first few minutes. Shinji busied himself with the fish while Asuka tapped at the table's surface, legs crossed.

Hmm, weird. She's always playing her video games at this hour. Another new development added to her sitting near us at dinner. I'll have to speak to Hikari about this.

Another surprise lightened Kensuke's mood when it was Shinji who started talking. Hesitant at first, he told Asuka about the trees he was caring for around midday, and spoke of how one of the fish had almost caused him to fall into the water. Silence, anger or nonchalance had been the expected reaction. The cinders almost fell from Kensuke's shovel when Asuka demanded to know if he had eaten the rations.

Choosing to not meddle, Kensuke went about carrying the embers as slowly as possible. "Look at her, asking if he ate, asking which of the mackerels he caught first," he quietly said to himself. "Well... not really asking, but for her standards it's really something. Hey, old man." He turned towards the hill, eyes softening at the memory of his father. "Not doing too bad here, I think."

Asuka's tone remained skeptical; she provided half-bitten responses to Shinji's inquires and pretended not to be interested in the way the fish was prepared, but Kensuke noticed her body language was relaxed, comfortable. He had only seen her behave so after years of not meddling or pressing her for information. Shinji made it look so easy.

"Guess fourteen years will do that to you." Once the cauldron was packed with fresh embers, Kensuke dusted his blackened hands on his cargo pants and took another glance at the window. Scents of ginger, orange, oil, fish and rice made his stomach demand nourishment. "Yeah, yeah. Let's just wait till Shinji's done. Look at that, one could almost say she's smiling a little."

Eventually, he was ushered inside to share the meal, and found himself surprised a third time when Asuka sat at the table with them, scowling down at the sushi until she ate the first piece. Kensuke felt something magnificent swell up inside him when she muttered a 'not bad' and Shinji almost beamed with a joyous smile. She even interjected a few times as they spoke of their days, demanded more of this or that ingredient in future meals, and did not ooze wrath whilst dinner lasted.

The same routine he had been seeing for the last few nights unfolded. Shinji curled up into his blankets, and tried to use whatever moonlight filtered through the window to read the dictionary for a few minutes. Some lines would be written on the last page, and the book would return to its place atop the jacket. The boy would then steal glances at the cap laying on the table until sleep claimed him.

Well into the night Asuka would rise, steal a glimpse at their sleeping forms and return to the bedroom. The significance of that feeling filling Kensuke's chest with excitement was a rather new one. "Not doing bad at all, old man," he whispered. "I think this is what people call hope. It's pretty great."


"Oi, over there! Hand me the shovel, will you? Nah you idiot, that one!"

"Well be more specific! There's plenty of 'em!"

"Hey, somebody pass me a vest! Second pillar's been on the fritz for a while, we gotta fix it before the Wunder arrives!"

"Listen to Mister Hard Worker over here! You're the one trying to sneak out every time!"

The more time passed, the more energetic and loud the workers became. Whereas his first days in the communal kitchen had been somber and quiet, the storage room felt like a large family area where everyone smiled, tapped each other on the shoulder and joked about their daily schedule. Early in the morning the villagers delivered their ingredients and took the day's rations.

It took Shinji one to two hours to prepare the lunch boxes for the crews working by the pillars. Once the food was done, he'd store some of it away to take back to the house once the day ended. Following the shift in the kitchen, he walked back to the forest area where the youngsters huddled and collected ripe fruit. Many of them climbed on the highest trees, with an adult or two keeping watch not too far away.

He was feeling light that day. The night before Asuka had sat with them at dinner, and even somewhat complimented the sushi.

Every so often one of the children would fall, scrape their knees or palms, but get back up instantly and keep playing while they worked. Ryoji brought a makeshift ball on some days, and either dodgeball or soccer was the reward for a good harvest. After repetitive visits the trees were denuded of ripe fruit, and the task slowly shifted to protecting and caring for the seedlings.

"I'm still really pissed off about that," Ryoji repeated for the fourth time. "Did all that work at the pillars, learned how to fix the electrical feed, got through the first aid stuff with flying colors." He plucked a pear and threw it at Shinji's back. "Hey, you listening over there?"

"Yeah," Shinji answered whilst picking up the hurled fruit. "You're really pissed off that Asuka ripped your application to shreds, and that Viko approved of it instead of being mad. So now you're even angrier because Kensuke told you today that it was all for the best."

Ryoji pouted. "Damn, nobody has my back on this. You all suck."

"I don't know much about families, or loved ones," Shinji admitted, gazing at the hills and the wretched visage beyond. "But maybe having them worry about you and want you to be safe is a good sign."

Ryoji's shoulder's slumped in defeat. He threw another pear, which Shinji caught. "Hey, look at you. Good reflexes there, Mister Fisherman."

"Well, it really is a surprise when a fish bites, you know." Another five seedlings were big enough to be transplanted into the field, which wracked his nerves more than any fish. "I lost plenty because they caught me by surprise. Guess it's helped wake me up a little bit."

Shinji's chest lightened a bit upon seeing the other boy's now familiar smile. "It's nice to see. Hey, did you notice the peach you planted is growing crazy fast?"

"It is, isn't it?" The day before, Ms. Lookalike had come to visit the fields, with her inquisitive gaze fixed on the small tree for a long time. "Fourteen leaves. Now we just have to wait about four to five years."

"Meh, considering I'm apparently grounded in this village for the foreseeable future, I guess we have to take turns looking after it, then." Ryoji beamed and pointed to the growing tree. "Once it bears fruit, you get to name it, that's the rule."

"I don't see the point in naming a tree." Shinji straightened and gazed at the grass, breathing in the fresh air, and feeling life grow all around. There was indeed a small wooden marker near each tree, all with the Latin definition and the common Japanese name on them. "But I'd like to. It's the second time somebody's ever asked me for a name."

The children laughed behind him. They threw the ball and chased one another, occasionally using a lemon or a pear to attack. Mr. Bunzaemon kept grumbling to himself from the shade, and kept an eye on the children's antics, still too sore to carry on with his lumber business. The day passed quietly amongst laughter, wet soil and sweet, ripe fruit.

Just as Ryoji abandoned his task and stole the bag to be chased by the young entourage, an ominous crack diverted their attention. Mere miles away, one of the Wanderers tripped and crashed against the barrier. Some of the children behind him shrunk away in fear and stepped back. Both Ryoji and Bunzaemon stood, glaring at the horrid apparition.

Shinji saw them again as they struggled and screamed in the thing's body. The grip on the duffle bag increased. If his father had his way, all those small children were going to be reduced to energy, or in the worst case, become one of those monstrous beings. The trees, the stream, the joyous works bringing fresh ingredients, the laughs, the hot meals after hard work, everything would disappear.

Asuka had asked him not too long ago if he would be willing to fight. It sickened him to still feel uncertain, but with every passing day the fear dissipated, and the conviction solidified. "One tree at a time, one smile at a time," he whispered as the group returned to their homes and night descended. The stars glistened with a crimson tinge. "Earn, Shinji. Earn your redemption."

His hand curled into a fist. The mountain was still unimaginably high, nigh unconquerable. You can start by coming up with a name for her, you know. She asked you, after all.

"Little by little." There was a new Blue Chinese Wisteria growing by a hill, not far from the stream. Lost in thought, he failed to realize how a certain redhead had also gazed at the firmament, and remembered him. "Maybe I can find a suitable tree to remember Kaworu by. I can have Ms. Lookalike name the wisteria, and then Asuka could name the peach. She'll probably say it's a stupid thing to do, probably call it 'the brat's tree' or something."

The tiniest chortle blossomed from his chest. "That'd be nice."


"So that's what you're doing now? Gardening some stupid trees?"

"Ah, yeah. And fishing. And, uhm… the food."

"What about the hand? I haven't seen a bandage in days."

"It's all better now, at least Toji says so."

"Whatever. Wasting time over counting leaves, great work."

"It's actually great work he's doing!" Kensuke yelled from the yard as he worked on a car's engine. "Want to go check it out tomorrow? I wanted to go visit the old man, and I'd love some company. Then we can go check out the new sprouts."

It was already custom to travel in the old Suzuki. With Asuka sitting in the back seat, Shinji fought to not glance at her every time the car hit a rock or a hole in the street. Kensuke chatted away as he would, detailing which areas he was to visit that afternoon, and commented on how his next trip to the outskirts of the village was drawing near. Shinji tried to respond as best he could and ask for minor details, fumbled over his words and expected some angry retort.

I saw her by the ruins yesterday, he thought, and strained to pay attention to Kensuke's words. Ms. Lookalike asked if I had a name ready, but I still don't. Then I think I saw her. I've gotten the hang of cooking out there. Another trial run should do it, and if Asuka approves… then I can invite both her and Ms. Lookalike. It can be like that dinner Rei wanted to make for my father and I.

"…and since Ryoji's birthday is coming along in a few days I thought I'd get him something, or build something for him, you know? Kinda wanted to give him that Renault, but I heard a thing or two about his mother's driving skills. May be better suited for his eighteenth birthday."

"His birthday?" Shinji thought on how difficult it probably was to even find presents for loved ones in the village. "Oh, maybe I can try to cook something different."

"Whatever keeps the brat with his stupid little feet rooted here," Asuka remarked. It was the first time she spoke ever since climbing in the car. "He was getting all sorts of stupid ideas. That's on you, Kenken."

Kensuke laughed and shrugged off the accusation. "Hey, gotta keep the kid distracted somehow. He's good at mechanical stuff, a hard worker, and motivated. Pretty much always in a good mood."

"He also has a horrible English accent," Asuka added. Her face remained mostly hidden under the jacket. "What was the big idea with all the odd jobs and the application?"

"Didn't want to crush the kid's dreams from the get-go, Asuka. Can't blame a guy for trying."

A quiet groan of disapproval reached Shinji's ears. "Foolish and pointless," said Asuka. "That kid is not stepping on the ship."

"Yeah, I know. Still, it was nice to see him excited like that."

Shinji recalled the way the boy's eyes were filled with a quiet confidence, a sense of inner fortitude. Ryoji knew he was loved. He was loved by the village, by the children he played with, by his guardian, even by their leader. Every night he came home to a beaming Viko who was always excited to hear about the boy's day. There was a beauty in the way he loved, or how confidently he smiled.

"Ryoji's lucky."

Asuka scowled from the back seat. Shinji almost felt her glare pierce the back of his head. "Why? Because he gets to spend his days in this place like a guinea pig in a cage?"

Kensuke threw a pleading look through the rear view mirror. "Come on, don't be like that," he said. The car stopped a few feet away from a hill. "There's plenty to look forward to in the future, even if it's in this small village. Here we are, first stop."

Dried up leaves crumpled under Shinji's feet as he followed Kensuke up the hill, Asuka following not too far behind. How strange, that the handheld was absent from her hands. They walked until they reached what he assumed to be a burial ground. Beside the small altar, a wooden incense holder stood out. The package entrusted to him in the morning was requested; Shinji gave the old box to Kensuke and watched him light the tip of a sandal stick.

They each sent their prayers and respects, hands clasped together and eyes closed.

"This is my father's resting place," Kensuke revealed once the quiet settled atop the hill. "Never thought he'd go away, to be honest. He was always so strong, always so busy. He never stopped working to make things better for everybody. Then suddenly one day, some stupid accident happens, and he's gone."

Death. A dark, frightening concept. The permanent ending of vital processes in a cell or tissue. To die, to disappear. Kensuke's father had passed due to an accident, something unexpected and horrible. He glanced at Asuka's eye-patch. Maim. To injure so severely… as to cause lasting damage.

"We had some decent times together, me and him. Worked hard on the this little place, tried to made sure everyone was okay," Kensuke carried on. Melancholy echoed through his voice despite the smile he displayed. "But in the end, it feels like we never had time to talk. He always wanted to be better, be stronger than he was, but we never talked enough for me to understand what he meant by either thing."

Shinji gulped down the trepidation and ventured to speak. "It sounds like he was a great man."

"Yeah." Kensuke chuckled low in his throat, gazing deep into the small memento. "You know, Shinji. If you get the chance, you should try to talk to your father a little. Perhaps somewhere along the line, you'll understand each other."

The request shocked him into silence, but even more astounding was the sound of Asuka's teeth grind as a growl resonated from her chest.

"You do know his father is Gendo Ikari, the man who abandoned him at the age of four, don't you?" she spat, crossing her arms and glaring down at Kensuke. "How's he supposed to understand that maniac?"

"I don't know. I just know talking things out helps. There's so many things to say." Kensuke shifted his gaze and warm smile to Shinji. "Don't you think so, Shinji?"

"There's not a damn thing Shinji should have to say to that bastard," Asuka interjected a second time, voice turning harsher. "The man is a snake, and every word out his mouth is nothing but poison."

"Asuka's right, but..." he recalled the SDAT, the songs, the piece he continued to translate. Redemption. Why would he be allowed to search for it, and not his father? "If I had a chance, I think I'd like to talk to him. If anything, just to try to understand him. Even if it's just a little bit."

"Figures idiots would think alike." Asuka turned her back and walked down over to the car. "I'll be in the car."

Kensuke and Shinji remained at the altar. After a second's hesitation Shinji knelt as well, clapped his hand in prayer, and bowed his head. Thank you for raising such a strong man, sir. I never had the pleasure of meeting you, but I'm certain you are proud of him. I'm sorry that you're no longer with us. Your son is a wonderful man. He's the village commander, or leader, and he's a great leader at that. He's always happy to help, always with a smile. He's taken care of someone very dear to me for many years.

He thought about how wonderful it would be to see Asuka smile. Perhaps Kensuke had achieved that feat, and could help him make whatever little time remained precious, or at least pleasant. The person underneath his feet had raised such a person, one who had accompanied Asuka and made her smile.

Gratitude, he mused, recalling both Kensuke, Ryoji, Ms. Lookalike, the villagers, and Asuka. A strong feeling of appreciation to someone or something for what the person has done to help you.

Shinji's head bowed lower as he reached through his pants pocket and placed a ripe lime atop the grave.

Thank you.

Once the formalities were over they drove over to one of the pillars, where Kensuke disappeared behind a mass of disgruntled workers complaining about the difficulty to breathe. The small container weighed heavily in Shinji jacket pocket while he and Asuka sat inside the car, not saying a word.

Why was she not playing her video games as usual? Why was her gaze lost in the distance, contemplative instead of ravenously angry? The sight of a calm, only slightly resentful Asuka was new, and therefore terrifying. It's nothing but a stupid bit of pear jam, he thought. His hand fumbled with the small package. Focusing on tiny, foolish details like whether the jam was too sweet helped him focus on the present. Kaworu would have probably pressed him to move forward. Earn, Third Child. Earn, Shinji.

He presented the small package with the disposable spoon, and smiled as naturally as possible. "Here. There's been a lot of ripe fruit lately. I mixed it with a bit of cinnamon, some honey and lime." It felt natural to offer the meal. For a precious heartbeat they were back at school, back when things made sense. "Tried to make it as balanced as possible."

Asuka's hand slowly lifted. His eyes were closed, so Shinji once again lost the chance to see her face color slightly as the strongest sense of familiarity overcame her. "Pff, yeah right. I'll be the judge of that." She snatched the treat away and wasted little time in taking her first bite.

Drawing upon all his willpower, Shinji opened his lids just in time to see Asuka's eye widen. Surprise, perhaps? Shock, maybe? He'd never know; a second later her face hid away under the hood and the curtain of wild auburn. The girl with Rei's features was always so eager to learn, so eager to ask. One meal at a time, one step at a time, Shinji.

"H-How is it?" he ventured at last, and took out his own portion. "I can try another way, add whatever's needed. Uhm… I planted a peach tree the other day. If it grows, a-and it bears fruit, there's a couple of things I'd like to try. Do you like peach?"

"I haven't seen a peach in about eight years," Asuka stated. Her eye centered on the tray, and on how its contents quickly disappeared. "And this? This isn't bad. Good balance. Not too sweet, just the right amount of a sour aftertaste. Cinnamon's a good touch."

The plastic container danced in between his fingers as feeble hunger invaded his senses. Asuka ate more readily each day. "There's a bit more if you want." Giving away his portion was as easy as ignoring Viko's rants on botany. "I had a strong breakfast with Kensuke this morning. Lots of leftovers from last night."

Oh, Shinji thought in surprise once the second treat was snatched away. Ryoji was right about the jam. Hmm, maybe… strawberries. Viko said he's growing strawberries in his garden. He's saving them for Ryoji's birthday. If I can get some flour and eggs, and ask Mr. Koga for the smaller oven. A cake.

"Don't think for a second I'm buying that crap about a strong breakfast." Asuka's voice shook him from the fantasy of baking. Half of a protein bar coated in jam was pushed in his direction. "Eat."

"Right." His stomach jumped in joy after he took a first bite. "Thanks."

"Idiot." The word felt like a greeting almost, a welcome home. It certainly felt much better than when she called him brat. "That song. Twenty-three. Bach's concerto. It's not a horrible rendition of the piece."

The… the what? Shinji almost choked on his own breath. That's song twenty-three in my tape. The other day… I thought I'd just left it in another spot. "You've… uh… yeah. That's a great song. I like the overture the best."

"Do you play? An instrument, I mean," Asuka clarified.

Shinji's fingers tingled with the memory of strings producing deep, mournful notes. "I used to. The cello, I mean. I used to play the cello, but I left it at my teacher's house when my father called me to Tokyo."

Asuka nodded, shocking Shinji yet again when she relinquished the spoon and used a finger to scoop up the remnants of jam from the container. "Viola. Had to learn it in training. Never really liked to play, but it becomes part of the routine after a while."

The cramped air within the car shifted. Shinji's heart started beating wildly in his chest again. "Training? How long… I mean, if you don't me asking. How long did you train to become an Eva pilot?"

"Ever since I can remember," Asuka replied. Her gaze fixed on a Wanderer striding beside the barrier. "It's all I've ever known. It was either become an Eva pilot, or become nothing. My purpose was decided before my birth."

Against his better judgment, Shinji dared another inquiry. "By your parents?"

"I don't have any." The statement rang heavy, bitter. "I have no father, and my mother was gone before I ever opened my eyes. I was chosen for this, nothing more."

Realization dawned. It tasted sourer than any unripe lime. The DSS choker burned against his skin, and for the first time in days, the cut in Shinji's wrist burned. "Like a prisoner."

Asuka said nothing in return. Kensuke returned to the car soon afterwards, hands covered with grease and soot, and they drove back to the train station. Shinji saw Asuka throw away the green jacket and stretch. Cold wind brushed against the exposed skin of his neck and chest once the trio started walking.

From the corner of his eye, he saw her shiver ever so slightly.

The walk to the clearing and the stream felt exhausting despite him having barely moved through the entire day. Nervousness made his hands shake. Gone was the disconnect from reality, replaced by hyper-awareness of his own emotions. What if she found the seedlings pathetic, or sickly? It was foolish to think some weak little plant would astound her as much as it did Ms Lookalike. The same queasiness made his feet heavy as they meandered along the path towards the stream.

"Man, it's great to have somebody like Viko around. Guy just cannot catch a break. Look at all these trees! All he weeds gone from the roots, every single dead branch cleaned away. Even the path is trimmed, and the crazy bastard still finds time to cut down old trees and turn them into firewood or charcoal. I tell you, he's tireless."

Like you, you mean, Shinji thought. He was worried that Asuka's plugsuit would get muddy, but she seemed unbothered while walking behind them, arms crossed. The two of you work all day and night to try and fix the mess I made. The mess my father intended me to make. One step at a time, Shinji. You can't start with the whole forest.

"Does anyone actually know what happened to him?" Shinji asked once they reached the stream.

Kensuke massaged his jaw and looked away, pensive. "All we know for sure is that he's not Japanese. He was the only survivor of what we think was a big entourage." His other hand clapped one of the older lemon trees. "I found… bones while looking for scraps. Lots of them, maybe twenty people or more. About two or three had a similar vest to Viko's. The rest… I'd seen them before. Scavengers. The lowest of the low. Whatever that guy had to do to survive… I respect it."

"People did it."

Ryoji's voice rang loud in his mind. Regardless of the horrors, the strange man still smiled away and gifted everyone fruit, lemonade and smiles. Amidst an apocalyptic world, Misato could not have hoped for a better guardian to protect and love her son.

"He's a tree-hugging goofball," Asuka added. "But I guess there's lots of those in this dumb village, and Katsuragi's offspring could be better off. Now where the hell are these great 'sprouts'? You want me to report back to the Wunder how grass is growing according to plan?"

"Inform them we have our own peach tree while you're at it." Kensuke laughed, and pointed to the row of layered seedlings. "Say, how about showing our dear Shikinami a bit of our hard work, Ikari?"

The scent of wet earth and rain washed over Shinji whilst he hesitantly pointed at the absurdly protected and sheltered peach seedling. Trepidation, expectancy, the slightest glimmer of hope; emotions long since asleep in his being rose anew when Asuka crouched down to inspect the plant. Her eye narrowed, she scrutinized each detail, and upon finding no sign of disease or decay, rose to her feet and gave a careless shrug.

"So it's a plant. That's the great reveal? What a wonderful alternative to spending the day laying in bed."

"Hey, I didn't see you reach for the WonderSwan at any point today," Kensuke was quick to mention. He stretched next to the stream. "Ikari, come check this out. Plenty of small, sweet water fish lately. Lots of tadpoles too, thanks to the rain. Think you can get us two or more fish tomorrow? Koga's planning on a big surprise for Ryoji."

With the remnants of sunlight, the three of them sat on a tree trunk across the stream. Hours drifted away in tune with the evening symphony of birds, insects and frogs. They spoke of a possible location for the festivities, food for the villagers, and of what would entice the Katsuragi boy the most.

Asuka voiced out her opinions, even if it was only to point out the absurdity of it all. With each interjection, awareness finished climbing into Shinji's psyche. The second time he saw her shudder with cold, he offered his own dark jacket with a blush, still not understanding why she left the green one at the house. She took it without much complaint, and kept it as the evening wore on.

Shinji realized what the penance was at some point, and saw the path to achieve liberation as clearly as the bloody crosses on the moon. When the sun went down, both he and Kensuke started walking back to the station. Asuka remained near the tree he was supposed to name.

The stupidest idea yet blossomed in his brain. A world where the sky was blue, where trees grew wildly as they had before and no monstrous apparitions sprung from the ground. The short conversation from before jumped back into memory.

"So, uhm… is this also the place you live in, Asuka?"

"What are you, stupid? This is the place I protect."

A place she protected, but not one where she felt she belonged. If he fought as well, if he gave everything he had, would it be possible to give Asuka a place she could call home?

He did not see the Wanderers that night. Instead, he dreamed of a large tree providing shade, blooming a most lush rose which danced with the wind. Crimson-golden hair swaying near his eyes, and shining under the afternoon sun.


Asuka stayed behind, hugging the idiot's sweater close. The cold breeze turned chilly in minutes when stars appeared in the night sky. She stood next to the seedling Shinji had been so adamant on caring for, glaring down at the tiny plant with disdain and an overbearing nostalgia.

"I'm supposed to name it, when it bears fruit. W-Would you like to do that? Give it a name, I mean?"

"Name a tree? What kind of stupid idea is that? Do you think the tree cares for that?"

"I guess not, but still. It's like a tradition. Every tree around his has a n-"

"Whatever. If by some miracle we're both still standing here in five years, then we can discuss the stupid tradition."

The way Shinji's eyes had filled with joy lightened a portion of the permanent burden inside her chest. He had smiled in the car, as well. The same sheepish grin from school, denoting just how happy it made him to deliver her bento.

"The Idiot Tree," Asuka muttered. The quiet days, the songs playing in her head courtesy of his SDAT. The way he chuckled at Kensuke's jokes now instead of staring off into the distance... all these details were affecting her. She was snickering more often, even if it was just a harsh grate that lasted half a second. Her body wasn't aching as much, and at night… it was not so lonesome. "The Dumbass Tree. The Brat's Tree."

Nothing felt adequate. "What do you think, in there?" she asked the Angel snoozing within her. "Maybe we can name it the Curse of Eva tree, how about that? Or maybe…" The more time passed and the days went by, the more she wanted her supposed vacation not to end. "The Boring Tree. Doesn't sound so bad. Meh, this is dumb. It should just be called a peach."

"Well, that's exactly what it is." A familiar, annoying voice said from behind. Asuka rolled her eye. "But not just any peach," Viko explained. He was one of the very few who could sneak up on her. His footfalls were muted by the wet grass, and he always walked with stealth, like a soldier. "The sweetest in the world. I only had it once as a kid. My brother stole some from our commanding officer. Ah, those were the days."

"You don't say," Asuka responded, uninterested. That she remembered, it was the first time man addressed her directly. "What is it with you and coming here at night?"

The 'stranger' as Shinji called him shrugged with a smile, produced a small music player and began to sway to the tune of an old song. "My brother told me even trees need some love from time to time, especially in dire situations."

"Must be weird, huh," Asuka remarked, glancing at the plant by her feet. One stomp, a single footstep and it'd become nothing but a green smudge in the mud. "Seeing your life's work like this. Heard this place was a wasteland twelve years ago."

"One tree at a time," Viko intoned. "Little by little, just like Shinji." He came to stand beside her, staring off into the distance, and the lush green ocean that stretched before them. "Soon enough you find yourself doing impossible things. What would be an impossible thing for you, Major?"

A chair outside the train station overlooking the ocean. Lazy afternoons playing with the WonderSwan and not having a timer reaching zero in her brain at all times. Rising from bed and seeing the tiny box rest on the table. Music, gentle and forlorn, soothing her mind and erasing the childhood memories of constant solitude. Someone to pat her head and tell her she was enough.

"A normal life," she revealed. Viko was known for keeping secrets, and was the annoying, tree-hugging lunatic everybody in the village endeared. There was no risk in letting him know of her foolish idea. "Something boring. Waiting at a train station, walking to school, reading, listening to music. Some place where the sky is blue, and there's no battles left to fight. A boring, monotonous existence in this dumb village."

"Hmm." Viko nodded, and crouched next to the growing tree. "Quite the impossible thing for the Second Child, I'd say. A normal life. A life where you can do things your way. Ah, that reminds me." A bottle was pressed into her hand. "Remember to drink your lemonade, and have Shinji drink his, as well. It's good for you."

Asuka took the offered drink and downed a few sips. "What am I, his wife or something? He can drink by himself. He's not catatonic anymore, in case you didn't notice."

"Oh, everybody noticed! Isn't it grand?" Viko walked over to the biggest, oldest tree in the clearing, and smacked the trunk playfully. "He's a great guy. It's awesome to see I'm not alone in this. Right?" he asked the trunk, and punched it as though it were an old friend. He turned to Asuka. "It's nice to know I'm not the only one who believes in Shinji Ikari."

Temper flaring, Asuka's head whipped in Viko's direction. She glared, eye narrowed while the eyepatch glowed a light blue. "Who the hell said I believe in him?"

"I did! And you do, no need to lie to me. My lips are always sealed, Major."

"I wish," she commented, arms crossed. Why had she decided to leave her own jacket in the house? Had she wanted Shinji to offer his? "You talk too damn much."

"And I sing, also!" The man cleared his throat, produced an artistic bow and rose with a smile. "This piece goes to my dearest forest, to our fearless Major Shikinami, and of course, to you," Viko's hand caressed the irregularities around the tree bark with fondness. "Я скучаю по тебе."

The foreign accent drew her attention, yet before she could demand to know what language that was, the man's voice flowed through the clearing. "And now… the end is near. And so I face the final curtain. My friend," he sang, and signaled to her. "I'll say it clear, I'll state my case… of which I'm certain. I've lived a life that's full. I've traveled each and every highway… and more, much more than this, I did it my way…"

"Regrets, I've had a few," she whispered along from memory. It was one of Mari's favorite songs, after all. "But then again, too few to mention. I did… what I had to do, and saw it through without exemption."

She turned back, but not before glancing at the seedling one last time. Viko sang along, loud enough to be heard over at the housing district. It pained Asuka to admit that his voice was not unpleasant, nor was his rendition of the song horrible.

However, she felt no relation to the lyrics. She was yet to love, laugh or cry to her fullest. Her chest was empty, a gaping hole waiting to be filled with actual life experiences outside of war. She had not had her fill of anything, not even the idiot's food. None of it was amusing, nothing other than those days years ago, and recently, the quiet moments by the table, or the sound of the waves as they crashed ashore. A stupid, childish little grin.

Viko's voice echoed still when Asuka reached the house. A glance through the window revealed Kensuke and Shinji eating at the table, chatting amiably. Her gaze softened, shifting from misery to slight fondness.

"Baka," she decided. "The Baka-Shinji Tree, then."


Dark, soulless eyes stared from across the ruins. They narrowed in discontent and the promise of retaliation.

"It was an accident," he tried to reason or bargain, to no avail. The creature neared him with rage overflowing its being. "I didn't mean to throw the ashes your way, I swear! Look, I have these four small fish, I'll give them to you. No questions asked. I know you guys help me out every day, so please."

Shinji bowed at the leader of the penguin waddle, who ruffled its soot-filled feathers and squeaked its annoyance further. Luckily, once he threw the fish between himself and the penguin group, they became more preoccupied with feasting than nipping at his ankles and legs. With a relieved sigh, he sat back on the box and threw the line into the water.

"Again, I'm sorry." The leader continued to throw glares while devouring his symbol of truce. "Just wanted to have everything ready, you know."

Two mackerels were already cooking in his makeshift smoker. The other box and fishing rod rested next to him. It was foolish to think the nervousness coursing through him was a sign. Doesn't hurt to be prepared, right? And in any case I can take the food back to the h-

"So… you're talking to penguins, now?"

Eagerness. Surprise. Something akin to joy. They struck at once when Asuka spoke from over the walls. She walked over to the box, picked the fishing rod and sat, giving him an unamused stare. "Should I get the protein bars?"

"A-Ah, no thanks." Shinji replied with half a smile. "I was just cleaning the leftover ash and the wind picked up so… they got the worse of it."

"You're working with the chubby little bastards? How does that work?" Asuka spoke as harshly as ever, but her pose was relaxed, more so than he had seen ever since waking up in the ship. "You better not be giving out the village's fish to them."

"Not really. Uhm." He pointed towards where a group of seagulls was circling near the shore. "After I'm done cleaning the catch, I throw whatever can't be used in the water. That brings smaller fish that they can eat. And so," Shinji made a circling motion with his hand. "They surround the bigger ones and bring them close to the shore, where they can see the bait. It's a convenient arrangement, I think."

Asuka motioned towards his small pyre. "And those? Fresh catch?"

"Yeah," he replied, not realizing how much excitement filtered through. "Right after midday. I'm waiting for them to finish cooking. There's some shiitake mushrooms, and… uhm… rice."

"So, fish and rice." She shook her head, hair dancing lightly. "Color me surprised."

"A-And shiitake," he lamely repeated. Too late did he realize that she had repeatedly told him that mix was boring to her. "Sorry. It's just… I mean I don't want to cook one of our friends, over there." The largest penguin squeaked in outrage. "They're so helpful, and I've never cooked penguin before."

He heard it. Asuka's breath caught and she chortled at his sad attempt at a joke. She had almost laughed.

"Idiot," she said. A tiny, almost imperceptible smile illuminated her features. "Leave the stupid birds be. They're endangered, after all. Meh, fish and rice is better than stale rations and water. Beggars can't be choosers."

"Are you hungry?" Shinji asked.

"Lately, yeah. I can wait right now. It's not like I need food at the end of the day. This," she pointed at the eye-patch, "keeps me alive, even if I don't want it to."

This is it, he thought, heart pounding. What we were talking about last time. Shinji, take that step. Don't just sit there and do nothing like before. You'll only hurt people by doing nothing.

"How… why… uhm." He took a deep breath to settle the relentless nerves and dread. "What happened? And… was it," Take the step. "Was it my fault, too?"

Expecting brutal and swift retaliation, Shinji closed his eyes and waited for the well-deserved kick at his side, an elbow to his temple, or perhaps a well-aimed punch to the face. Silence. Nothing aside from the terns as they circled the shore and settled for the afternoon. Nothing but the sound of the ocean. Each second felt heavier than the next. The thought of having burned a bridge that was not yet fully built nor functioned terrified him.

"This isn't just the curse of Eva," Asuka began, which elicited a massive sigh of relief from him. "This eye-patch. Unit 03 had already been infected by the Angel by the time it landed in Japan. The moment I stepped into the entry plug it started infecting me, as well. A fail-safe, just in case it didn't survive."

"I see." Shinji stared at the water, recalling the events leading to that disastrous battle. "I thought it was Rei who was the designated pilot. Did you…?"

"Yeah, I volunteered," said Asuka. It felt as terrible as being decked in the face. "The First was doing that stupid planning for your little dinner party with your father."

Shinji's shoulders slumped. "Oh. So, it is my fault."

"Ugh, no it's not, you idiot!" Asuka fired back with her usual bite, making him flinch. "What did I say I blamed you for? What was the word in that little book of yours?"

He rubbed at the scar by his wrist nervously. "Inaction."

"Exactly! We already went over that. Now try to make your bratty brain understand this new concept." Growling with each word, Asuka's eye gleamed with fury. "The parasite here was out of your control, one way or the other. I volunteered. I'm a pilot, it's the only thing I've ever known, ever been good at. It was my choice. Got it?"

Recoiling even further, Shinji nodded his understanding and waited until Asuka sat back down. Once she did, he managed to breathe again. Her words were absolute and immeasurably heavy, and yet they did not make him feel any better. His resolve only solidified with each small exchange they shared, or with each time Ms. Lookalike asked if he had come up with a name.

"Yeah, I think I understand," he paused. The scent of cooked fish began to filter through. "Thank you… for telling me. I'm sorry I didn't do more. I should've tried harder, even if it made no difference in the end."

"Whatever. Things happened either way, regardless of how hard you tried. Well..." Her voice turned bitter, and slightly cold. "You did try super hard to save the First, didn't you?"

The memory stung just like the Angel's tendril as it slashed away Unit 01's arm. It was still so fresh in his mind, just like Kaworu's demise. "I was so tired of losing people I cared about." The words spilled from his mouth without consent. "I couldn't bear the thought of losing Rei like I thought I lost you. I forgot about everything else, I just… wanted to save one person I cared about, just once."

"A person you cared about, huh," Asuka echoed. "Well, you certainly cracked the world in half in that one. Not that your father wasn't going to finish breaking it anyways, with or without you."

"Do you think she's still in there, in Unit 01?"

Asuka shrugged again, turning to look over at the mackerels. "Who knows. Probably. We found you in there, didn't we? And Ritsuko droned on and on about how you were nothing but yellow sludge." She retrieved the line, and placed the fishing rod next to the box, stretching. "Enough of that crap. Plenty of time to discuss pointless ideas another day. I see you pulled through with the cooking out here, huh."

Relieved that instead of closing herself off like he expected, Asuka had instead changed the subject and inquired about the food, Shinji explained as best he could how it had taken several tries until he found the proper place and method to give the fish some type of flavor that was not charcoal.

They spoke very little, choosing instead to sit by the smoldering cinders. Still, they remained until the first stars glistened above. The silence was comfortable, welcoming, and company always made a meal taste all the better.

That night, just as every time, he asked whether the meal had sufficed.

"It was good," Asuka replied. "Have more food ready next time, this was too light a meal. And bring that clone around. She can have those mushrooms or whatever."

Once they settled in for the night, Shinji went over the dictionary and underlined another word with the red marker. He began to draw the pirate roundel from memory. It felt natural to draw the blue one next to it. "Hope," he whispered.

"A feeling of expectation… and desire for a certain thing to happen."

To Be Continued…


A huge hug and my eternal ratitdue to Pilot_Fair for helping me piece this chappie together, and to MisterHalt for proofing and revising it! You Legends, thank you so much!

AN: So, there it is. I hope this didn't suck, and as usual, revision and elimination of redundancies will occur as time passes. So, I'm taking a lil break from writing. Been in a bad mood lately, which thanks to my wife and training partners has boiled down to almost nothing. Getting married soon! So I'll be busy with that stuff. I intended to not write Eva fanfic anymore but come on, who are we kidding here. Love this shit. Will carry on. I'll add Inspirational Music throughout the day.

Next chappie should include more Rei stuff, a certain someone's birthday, adventures at the edges of the L-barrier, the appearance of a crew member of the Wunder, some conflict regarding a certain hat and roundels, and maybe some more talk no jutsu between our protagonists. Let me know if there's anything too OOC in here going on, so it can be polished. Y'alls know I love feedback! Please stay healthy and eat your veggies!

PEACE.