AN: Happy Birthday to our beloved Shin-chan. I'm back, bitches, hah! Here's the new chappie! Also, lucky seven, yay!

Redemption Song

Chapter 7: Jammin

The wind currents were so strong that tainted sand covered everything in sight.

A storm. Not even a terrible one according to the village commander, and still he could barely move with the air practically slicing through his vest. Thunder blared in the distance, resonating through the helmet. Breathing was difficult. Rain had turned dirt into hardening mud, so his feet got caught up in the red sludge again and again.

Behind him, two Wanderers walked. Undeterred by the harsh weather, they moved towards the village.

They look for encampments, drawn to life, he recalled the blonde's voice the night before. Once they reach them, well… nothing but dust and them remains.

"Torment," he whispered. The figures moved from within the apparition's body, writhing in pain. How come only he and Asuka ever saw them? "To cause severe, persistent or recurrent distress. A source of vexation or pain." Asuka's eyepatch flashed in his mind. "Extreme anguish of body or mind."

"Huh?" Kensuke turned to him. He almost had to scream to get words across through the wind and the rumbling in the sky. "Did you say something?"

"Nothing," Shinji answered. He pointed towards what looked like the remains of a small warehouse. The top of the old ceiling rattled with the storm. "Should we look over there?"

Nodding in his direction, the commander set out to investigate. He followed as quick as the suit allowed. The Wanderers never left his line of sight; the wrenching and crying of all those entrapped in the monsters was almost as loud as the wind.

Once inside, both laid back against the concrete walls. Sweat dripped down Shinji's face, the helmet's visor blurring under his condensing breaths. Footsteps shook the earth as they drew away and soon, only the sound of their labored pants remained. The warehouse was bigger than he had initially thought, with many metal cases and containers piled atop one another.

So much to search through, so much to do still.

Kensuke wasted no time in pushing one of the nearest containers to the side and inspecting the many spare parts that cascaded to the ground. Quick handed, he scrutinized the rubble with the lamp, pocketing small pieces of metal, cable, or whatever else could be salvaged.

Bring a little goodness into the world, Shinji's mind repeated. His hand gripped at the shelves without knowing what he was supposed to find. Kensuke had instructed 'anything that looks salvageable' could be collected.

"How am I supposed to know what works and what doesn't, thou-" The box he had been holding disintegrated into brown dust. "Oh."

"What do you think I should get Junior?" asked Kensuke, and flung another broken transistor behind his shoulder. "He's been a little serious lately. I think having his application rejected really pissed him off."

"You all suck," Ryoji muttered in Shinji's mind, drawing a small smile. If anything, the young Katsuragi seemed more annoyed than upset.

"He probably just wants to see Misato," Shinji suggested, examining a rusted lighter. It ignited after four tries, so he pocketed it in the suit. His shoulders slumped. "If it weren't for me, he wouldn't have to wonder who his mom is."

The commander dove into the next box. "Well, that still doesn't answer my question," he half-yelled. "I can't give him the car! Can't approve his application without Viko slitting my throat at night, can't even find something that reminds him of Misato or Kaji!"

Shinji's head perked in surprise. "Huh? How come?"

"Don't really know 'em!" Kensuke replied, and threw a broken battery to the side. "I mean, I've spoken to the Captain a number of times, we met that time years ago when we went to the aquarium, but nothing other than the bare minimum!"

"Oh." Memories of that day flooded in an instant. Rei's compliment on his food, the laughter and banter of his friends. Asuka, staring at the game console and occasionally glaring his way. "I guess I had the chance to know them a little."

They worked in silence thereafter, only communicating to ponder on how salvageable this or that was. Wither, yet another piece of crusted metal turned to fine dust in his hands. To cease to flourish. To fall into decay or decline. He was about to haul a round object over his head when its form gave him pause.

"Uhm, Kensuke?" Shinji's voice barely reached the man under the heavy wind. "What is this?"

No footsteps registered, the storm was picking up. "Oh, look at that! A potter's wheel, and it looks like it still works. Hah! That's crazy, everything else in here is poofing out of existence, and this of all things survives."

"A pottery wheel?" Shinji repeated, and heard Asuka's voice call him an idiot for doing so. "Sorry, I thought it might be something useful."

"Who says it isn't?" Kensuke countered. The device was heavy, it required them both carrying it to the warehouse door. "Lots of things can be made from clay! The forge master can teach you how to use it. There's always need for cups, pots, containers, all sorts of things. And," Kensuke nudged at Shinji's arm with a sly smirk. "You can also make personalized gifts!"

It felt stupid to carry the piece all the way to the car. Kensuke had already decided to gift Ryoji a radio and found the needed parts to manufacture it. What was he supposed to do with an old pottery device?

"Lots of clay deposits near the house," Kensuke mentioned once they were in the car, struggling to get back to the village. The storm raged more heavily than before, with droplets of crimson rain splashing on the windshield. "I'll teach you how to shape the basic stuff, how's that sound? You told me you wanted to fill that gap between midday and sunset, right?"

A pirate skull, smirking at the adversities and battles yet to face. Strong, valorous, dignified. Could his hands produce something that conveyed those feelings?

Build, he recalled, eyes lost in the dark skies and heavy rain. To form by ordering and uniting materials by gradual means into a compositewhole. Step by step. Earn."Thank you," Shinji uttered. He reached for the portions Asuka had placed in the car. "I'll do my best."


The bento was waiting on the table just as it had for the past few weeks.

She collapsed on the seat, tired despite having done nothing during the day. Her eye drifted to the door. Still no sign of either male. Rain was thundering on the roof, unrelenting since the morning, and muted out the handheld. The routine of staring at the screen was breaking; Asuka no longer wanted to play the same stupid game, whereas the Major was content with ignoring the world further.

"Stupid game," she muttered to the empty room. "Stupid weather. Stupid Kenken, risking his neck out there for Misato's spawn." A frown drew on her features while unpacking the food. "Putting the brat at risk."

True to his word and her demands, Shinji had acquired the sausages and cooked the strange lemon reduction as a sauce to dip them in. No sesame seeds in sight. The flavor was mellow, yet sweet enough to contrast the strong aftertaste of the sausage. No burnt corners anywhere, no raw rice as days before. With every meal he prepared, Shinji Ikari peeked through the brat's fearful gaze.

Her stomach grumbled as she paused, lost in thought. The image from school was manifesting often, getting on her nerves. The dumb, shaky little smile. A hand gingerly holding onto the box, carefully wrapped in a handkerchief. The same hands she had bound in manacles, the wrist she had injured.

"Idiot," Asuka grumbled. Despite being hungry, something held her from emptying the bento. How many of those were left before the little vacation ended, and the war carried on? "You should've stayed dead, or dissolved or whatever. Should've never come back."

The words were the antithesis of her meal; bitter, stale and ridden with deceit. Asuka wanted to spit, but it would have meant parting with the sweet-sour taste of the sauce. How long did she have? How long ago had food begun to taste so good again?

How long has it been since I woke up eager for anything? she thought with a bitter scowl. Another demure bite, barely a nibble. And these pathetic attempts are supposed to be… what? What does it matter?

Misery unlike anything she had felt in recent time began to crawl in her chest. Her hand hovered over the bento, fingers tightening on the fork. He even bothered to get her a fork. Treasure, she mused. A collection of precious things.

Asuka ate slowly, ignoring the Major's remarks and the Wonderswan. Even as the food cooled, it did not lose taste. Her eye went over to Shinji's corner, where the dictionary sat atop her jacket. Something of great worth or value. She threw the stupid hat he was so fond of next to his pillow.

"Someone important to you," she said. "Remember me then, Idiot."


Kensuke laughed wholeheartedly when Asuka finished berating them. Soaked, stinking, and loaded with what she described as useless crap, the pair made for a poor sight once they returned.

Shinji had hurried off to the car the moment the girl's glare had descended upon him, then jogged over to the kitchen area after a hasty shower. Not an hour had passed and food was already sizzling on his stove. Asuka sat at the table, impatient, and threw the occasional glance at her prisoner.

Making sure I brought him back in one piece, I bet, Kensuke thought. He fit the transistor and batteries into the makeshift radio while dinner was prepared, and pretended not to notice Asuka's annoyance. Can it be that at some point, you started enjoying his company, Major? Don't feel like sharing your 'prisoner' with anybody, do you? Not after all the leaps and bounds you've both made ever since you two came here.

"Like a radio will be any good in this wasteland," Asuka commented from the table. "What station is the brat supposed to listen to? Interference PM? Nothingness on the noon, with your special guest, desolation."

He laughed, surprised to hear Shinji chuckle as well. "It's more of an old-fashioned cassette player. You know how those two like their music and their singing."

"With terrible accents that scare away the critters," Asuka added. "Pair of deranged banshees. They deserve each other. And now you're giving him something to be even louder. Great."

More laughter bounced off the wooden walls. Kensuke did not miss how Asuka turned to ensure Shinji had chortled at her remark. I'd say you even blushed a little there, oh great Major Shikinami, soldier extraordinaire.

"Hey, Viko was thinking of giving the kid his guitar, imagine that!" he countered. "They'll be serenading the fields on a daily basis!"

It had been too long since the walls of his house had been filled with senseless banter, jokes, and tranquility. Kensuke watched Asuka eat that night, watched how she stalled, complained or argued to extend the meal as long as possible. Once or twice her eye drifted to the plate, as if to ensure there was still enough. She had once told him of a timer running permanently in her mind.

Kensuke's gaze became somber as he stared at his own plate. What is it you say all the time? Doesn't matter. Tonight, it doesn't. The Impacts, the Wanderers, the future, the battles yet to face. The pain. Tonight, we can just sit back and enjoy.

Asuka called Shinji an idiot over four times, repeated how foolish it had been to bring the pottery wheel, how much of a labor it was to get clay, and how much time it required to create anything. Kensuke's smile lessened. He noticed the hat lying on Shinji's blankets, the way the dictionary was in a different position. A week before, she had always placed everything exactly the way it had been.

"Maybe you two can take a little time to work on the clay in the afternoons," Kensuke offered after dinner. "I'll have Koga come over and teach you the basics."

"I'm not getting my hands filthy with mud," Asuka retorted, and walked back to the room after glaring at Shinji one last time. "What's the idiot supposed to make? Some clay penguin for Misato's brat? Tsk."

"Five," he whispered. Five times you use that pet name in one night. Kensuke's shoulder slackened further. Hope was wonderful.

Shinji's eyes had lit up at Asuka's idea. He furiously read through the dictionary later that night, scribbling and marking definitions he thought would help the new endeavor. Exhaustion quickly won the battle, however, and his head lolled on the book sheets.

Collapsing in his own blankets felt heavenly after a day going through rubble and acid rain was heavenly. Some brightness reflected in Kensuke's eye, making him shift before sleep claimed him. The moonlight was shimmering against the blue and white roundel. Steps echoed through the floor, so he feigned sleep and watched in silence.

"Could've at least said thanks," Asuka whispered. "Guess it's too much to ask, huh. Idiot."

He does, every day, thought the village chief, nodding off. With the bentos, the fish. The little kitchen he built for you. It's nice to see you say it back, though.


"Hah! Finally! Look at this beauty!"

Ryoji held the malformed 'cup' on his palm, beaming. Granted, it was by far the best effort either had produced in days, yet still far from usable. The forge master laughed, and despite the piece being useless, placed it in the oven for the firing process.

"And alas, your great dexterity fails you for once, Ikari," Kaji said. A playful grin danced on his features for the first time since the request to join the WUNDER had been denied. "What are you trying to make, anyway?"

"I-It's a secret!" Shinji responded. He tried in vain to shield his latest attempt at a sake cup from the other boy's prying eyes. "You already had your time on the wheel, you know."

"Fine, be that way. Jeez, everybody's acting so weird!" Ryoji said, and fell on the grass next to Shinji. "It's just my birthday. I don't get what all the fuss is about."

Refocusing on the mass of clay in his hands, Shinji's mind drifted to the villagers. Everybody was working, either in secret or openly, to make the most memorable party yet. He recalled sitting by the Horaki family as they celebrated once, still too shell-shocked to partake in the festivities.

His hand slipped over the shape again when the red roundel came to mind. The cap was still on his blankets, precisely in the place he had found it. I don't know what to do, his mind repeated while his fingers tried to mold a clay bird into life. Am I running away, filling up my day with stuff? I really want to talk to her again.

Shinji's heartbeat doubled while the skin of his cheeks heated up. He had felt something similar before, what to him felt like months and was closer to decades. Eagerness mixed with fear and hesitation. Hikari's words ringing in the back of his head, dispelling his former thoughts. Why was the cap on his blankets?

"Your face is red, and it's not the sun like you said yesterday," Ryoji mentioned, snickering. "You're thinking about the Major, aren't you?"

"No!" The blush became more apparent.

"Hm, then are you thinking about Ms. Lookalike?"

"What? No!"

"So it is the Major, right?"

"What does it matter, anyway?" Shinji countered in clear desperation. Some days had already gone by without Asuka coming to the shore. "It's nothing. Asuka hates me."

"Empty words," Ryoji said. "Viko hates those. Aren't you tired of saying that lie? Just admit that, you know…" The boy nudged Shinji's ribcage with his elbow, grinning like his mother once had. "Just admit it, and everything will be easier."

Ms. Lookalike had suggested something of that nature the day before, making Shinji more uncomfortable. He never realized what his hands were working on. Asuka had gone so far as to attempt her own version of humor at dinner. Most people smiled when they tasted his dishes lately, Ms. Lookalike key among them, and complemented the taste.

Watching Asuka savor every bite was almost hypnotic. She didn't smile like the others. Instead, a frown would draw on her features, she'd glare at the bento in deep concentration, as if trying to remember what the flavors were supposed to be. The deeper the glare, the better the taste had been.

With the curse, I'll be able to see her frown at the food for longer, he thought. His eyes drifted to the barrier. A battle was brewing, one that would determine the rest of his penance, and whether he'd be able to spend more time at the village once it all ended. Only there won't be a village to work in, if my father wins.

"Wow," the boy's voice snapped him awake. "That looks very good, Shinji. Better than mine, for sure."

"And up in the oven they go!" Koga stole the two pieces before Shinji could see what he had created. "You kids catch on quick! Great work today! Now get outta here and get some food in those bellies!"

The teens said their goodbyes to the forge workers and made their way to the small forest. Shinji's bag was heavier with both sausages and vegetables provided by the forge master in payment for his 'help'.

"I don't know why Mr. Koga gave us food," Shinji said once they reached one of the clearings. "He's the one teaching us."

"You have two mouths to feed, and I have to remind Viko he needs to eat in order to stay alive," Ryoji replied. "Mr. Koga knows what it's like to go hungry, you know. So he makes sure everybody gets their fill. Like you."

"You've been helping everyone from the moment you could walk," Shinji said. The smell of fresh soil welcomed him, easing his nerves. He still had not asked about the hat, after all. "I'm just trying to catch up, I guess. There's so much to do."

"Yeah, but there will be enough time for that."

Ryoji's response made him pause. "Do you think so?" Shinji asked.

"Of course!" Ryoji pointed at the largest tree in the forest. "Step by step. But never forget to sit back and enjoy the little things."

"But…" Shinji's gaze shifted to the seedlings, to the Idiot tree growing ever so slowly. "What if there's no time left? What if I still don't know what to do?"

"Doesn't matter, we believe in you. When the time comes, you'll know."

The memory of everything his selfishness had brought upon returned with a vengeance. "And if what I choose hurts everyone again?"

"What if my mother never left me here?" Ryoji wondered aloud, eyes lost in the sky. "What if my father never died, what if Gendo Ikari never lived and Third Impact never happened?" He chuckled and shook his head. "Then, I would've never met Mr. Kensuke, Mr. Toji, Mrs. Hikari. I would've never met Viko, nor you. How about we stop thinking about the what ifs, and focus on these seedlings?"

A needle pressed against his chest, unrelenting. The world outside the barrier was inhospitable, the Wanderers were but scavengers of human life, consuming everything they could in a vain attempt to become whole. Storms, famine, death; all brought about by his hand.

"I can't," Shinji admitted in defeat. The soil felt like clay in between his fingers as he buried a lime seed. "I'm sorry. This is all my faul-"

"Shinji, has anybody ever told you to stop apologizing?" Ryoji interrupted. "It's like Viko says. Happiness comes in moments, blink and you'll miss them as they pass you by." The other boy grinned, and Shinji saw Misato's playful smirk yet again. "You like her? The Major? Admitting it might make you happy, you know."

"Asuka hat-" Shinji cut himself off, realizing the words did in fact feel empty. "it's not like it matters."

"Well, you didn't deny it!" Kaji added. The easy humor of his tone made Shinji's face heat up again.

Happy. Happiness. A word that had escaped his nightly searches, a meaning that evaded him altogether. Seeing Rei again, being able to fix the damage he had done to the world. Seeing Asuka smile, seeing her healed, and whole, if only for a moment. He pressed both hands on the small mound, almost willing the seedling to grow strong.

They sat together until the sun began to set. Kaji teased him without rest until he excused himself for the evening, and ran back home.

Aggravated penguins and fish awaited on the coming day. A slight chance of meeting Ms. Lookalike. Perhaps Asuka would appear, and he'd be able to show her the newest additions to his small fireplace. He'd be able to keep true to her instructions and hopefully, get a heated glare for his efforts.

Happiness, Shinji mused. When had he stopped carrying the SDAT everywhere? Idiot, Asuka's voice snapped in his mind. The shadow of a smile, half a chuckle the day she had placed the hat on him. The memory relaxed his body, quieted his thoughts. A place where she can frown at the food every day.


The ocean breeze swayed the flames, mingling the smell of charred wood and cooked vegetable with that of salt water.

She stared at the bowl of soup in amazement, unaware she was the spitting image of Rei Ayanami at that moment. "Delightful," she muttered, taking another sip. "This is your Miso soup, then?"

"Well, it's sort of my take on it, considering the ingredients I have nearby." Shinji replied. "I try to use some plants that grow near this area. Viko loaned me a book on which are edible and which are toxic, so I've been trying some different things."

Another fish began to sizzle under the flames. The birds huddling not too far away were observant, as though expecting their fair share of the feast.

"Before long the rice will be ready for harvest," she conversed. It was pleasant to see Shinji smile, and it brought joy to her heart to see it become more frequent. "I'd like to assist when it is ready."

"Maybe I can help," Shinji offered. It was as the Second had said. Her feelings were clear. "Would you mind?"

"I would not," Ms. Lookalike said. "It would be good to spend time together in the fields. Your company is most pleasant."

The sound of something slipping to the floor distracted her from the asymmetric bowl in her grasp. Her comment had caught Shinji off-guard and made him drop one of the raw fish on the ground. He fidgeted, his back to her. I believe she feels the same way. The one whose company you enjoy.

"Y-You think so?" he asked.

A few weeks before, as I expressed the same sentiment, you rejected it completely. Does one call this maturing, as Mrs. Horaki explained?

"Of course," she admitted with ease, looking puzzled. It was, of course, as natural a thing to her as breath. "You are the one I'd wish to spend more ti-"

"That better not be my dinner on the ground." Asuka's voice rumbled through the broken walls. "What's all this? Cups and pans? Are you two playing house or something?"

Shinji's shoulders stiffened, but she noticed how quickly they relaxed. It made her smile. If her favorite person was with his own favorite person, then he'd be at his happiest. This could be yet another precious memory she could take.

"Shinji has been experimenting with the pottery wheel," she explained, fully aware Asuka followed the Third Child on most days. "Results… have been varied."

"From one colossal waste of time to the next, why am I not surprised," Asuka snapped, dragging her preferred box closer to the fire, clad in her usual plug suit and jacket. Her eye glanced over the small containers. "So, you're an artisan now, idiot?"

"Not even close," Shinji responded without much of a stutter. Her crimson eyes fixed on him. "It's really hard, and I'm not very good. But Mr. Koga says even these can be of use."

Her fingers traced the irregular edges of her cup. Imperfect copies of something else, rugged around the edges, delicate to the touch and prone to break. I wonder if he will think of me.

"Whatever," Asuka's voice brought her back to reality. "Something smells different."

"A-Actually, I'm trying to use some herbs that grow in the area," Shinji replied as he maneuvered the ingredients over the fireplace. "Just hoping I don't mess up the fish."

"We have caught three," she added, and pointed to the bag next to the fishing rods. "That one is for the village commander."

"Congratulations. So, fish again?" the Major asked with what she perceived to be forced hostility. "Should've brought the damn rations, instead."

She caught something, some strange, unspoken message. Why does it feel like she means the opposite of what she says?

"Mr. Koga gave me some sausages, and no rice today. I… made some Miso. Would you like s-"

"No, I'm perfectly fine sitting here starving while this one here gorges herself on it." Yes, I would like some, thank you.

Her head tilted to the side. The Second's demeanor had changed in some infinitesimal manner. Her eye was not filled with as much bitterness nor animosity. Instead, the pilot's gaze was slightly troubled, almost forlorn. Once her own portion was served in a less misshapen mug, she glared down at it and ate very slowly.

"How is it? Does it need any more salt, or spices?" Shinji asked, his back to them. "I tried to balance out the flavors a little."

"It's not salty," Asuka rasped. She noticed the Second's frown deepen, but in her mind, Ms. Lookalike saw a smile. "Not a bad balance." It is quite tasty, yes. "What is this supposed to be, a cup? Tsk. At least it's not leaking." Good effort at crafting this utensil, Shinji.

She smiled, resisting the urge to giggle. During dinner time or late at night Mrs. Hikari and Mr. Toji would converse. While the tone and way they spoke were completely different, there was an inexplicable resemblance with the way the Second and Third interacted.

It feels like… longing, she decided, relating it to her own feelings towards Shinji. I see. So you too, possess these inefficient emotions, Major. I am glad for them, and you will be, as well.

They ate in relative silence. Shinji ventured to speak with her more frequently than he did with the Second. He inquired about her discoveries in the fields, her interactions with Tsubame, and occasionally asked if the vegetables were properly cooked. With no frame of knowing if they were, she simply said the taste was enjoyable.

Again and again, she saw Asuka glance at her dish. The girl's hand would trace the cup not unlike her own fingers had done. Bad things, such as bad memories, are better left out in the open. Exteriorized, spoken of, otherwise they become a burden, Hikari said in her mind. But good things, good memories, should be cherished and guarded. Every time we get back to them, we'll feel that happiness again.

"So," Shinji ventured after a few minutes of comfortable silence. "Is the food not okay? Maybe I can d-"

"It's fine," Asuka interrupted. "I don't need food. Why would I be in a hurry to eat it?" I want to treasure this moment, this meal. Being with you.

"Right, sorry." She watched Shinji rise and rummage through the bag he had brought from the forge. "Viko helped me make some pastry today. Since you know… the other day you said the jam was good."

A warm, sweet-smelling dessert wrapped in leaves was presented to each of them. Whereas the Second wrinkled her nose at the treat and pocketed it in her jacket without a word, she devoured hers in seconds, shocked to still find it crunchy, and indescribably sweet.

The birds behind Shinji set out to hunt, splashing in the water one after the other just as light started to fade from the sky. They spoke so little with each other, yet every word, every movement or expression carried so much meaning. Even the silence felt important between them.

I am… jealous? The young clone wondered as Shinji told Asuka of his day at the forge, and of the difficulty of getting clay stains off his clothing. No. I am relieved. Her gaze softened as she watched the redhead glare down at Shinji's fireplace. There is another who holds him just as dearly. He will not be alone.

"You hate it, then, huh. Should've known." Asuka inquired once night had settled in.

"Hmm? Hate what, Asuka?"

"The cap, you idiot. Saw you staring at it from the moment Unit 01 spit you out."

Ms. Lookalike's eyes widened. It had been a while since she had last seen said garment. If memory served, the cap had been comfortably resting on the boy's head the day he had collapsed by the bathhouse.

She noticed Shinji's face turn vermillion in the dim light, eliciting a small laugh from her chest.

"Uhm, but it's yours, right?" he asked, voice fading into a whisper.

"Not anymore, it isn't."

"I don't… what do you mean?"

Something clicked in her head. June the 6th had always been important to her, regardless of how foolish it was to follow a calendar. The knowledge had been imprinted at the moment of her creation, yet only now did she realize its significance.

"Your birthday was a few days ago. The day you went out with Kenken to get that stupid wheel."

A brighter smile blossomed on her lips. Ah. So that is why. Observing Shinji struggle for words was as delightful as the soup. She suddenly wished to have something to offer as a gift, as well.

"I… I don't know what to say," Shinji stuttered once the sound of the waves became uncomfortable even to her. "Asuka, how can I r-"

"Don't say anything," Asuka cut in. "Just go tend to your stupid tree or something. Make use of whatever light's left, I'll put out the fire or whatever."

Shinji looked ready to say something else. His happy expression became confused, conflicted, and it amazed her how she was able to recognize each emotion as it washed through his features.

"I will assist here, if allowed," she added. "The saplings have been getting ravaged by ants."

"What! Ants?" Shinji exclaimed, bolting to his feet. "That can't be right! We sprayed them yesterday! Damn it! Ah… I'll see you in the house, Asuka! Thank you both for coming!"

His footsteps quickly disappeared under the crashing of the waves and the ocean breeze. They both stood near the rudimentary kitchen, staring as the cinders as they faded. The sensation came over her once more. Eyes like her own, gigantic, bleeding. Her body threatened to shut down, and in that instant a needle was pressed against her thigh. LCL was pumped into her veins.

"Good timing there with that lie about the ants. It's not much, but this should see you through until the WUNDER lands," Asuka rasped, then pushed a handful of syringes full with the yellow liquid into her hands. "You know, Ayanami. Once, long ago, one of your predecessors and I tried to cook something for that idiot. We were supposed to have a dinner. First her with your creator and Shinji, and then the three of us."

"Oh," she stared at the syringes. "Did something happen?"

"The world ended, I was turned into a weaponized half-breed monster, you lot came into the picture," the Second elaborated. Rei was surprised to see her crouch and grab her designated clay piece to examine it. "I suppose this is as good as the idiot's gonna get."

"Did you prepare a meal for him?" she asked with honest curiosity. "If I knew how to cook, I would like to try. Ikari-kun seems so content when cooking for others."

Strange. Shikinami smiled, but there was no joy in her eye, not like when Hikari or Shinji smiled. All she could see was sadness, loneliness, and defeat.

"I tried," Asuka revealed, and placed the makeshift cup back down with the utmost care. "Didn't really matter in the end. Everything went ass backwards before your predecessor or I could have our little contest."

"Contest?"

Asuka shook her head, making the jacket's hood fall off. "Nothing. Forget about it."

But there is none, Ms. Lookalike realized. What Shinji Ikari feels for Rei Ayanami is not the same as what he feels for Asuka Shikinami.

"Understood," she said, pocketing the syringes in the jacket. Asuka began to walk into the trail that led to the saplings. "These… inefficient emotions,"she said, loud enough to make the Second halt in her tracks. "Do they bother you?"

The fading daylight allowed her to glimpse at the girl's true face. The mask of anger melted away for a few precious seconds. "At times, it feels like they're the reason I'm still here at all," Asuka revealed. "It's annoying that they don't fade away. Everything else seems to."

The penguins sprang back to the surface, drowning out Asuka's footsteps. I do not wish for them to fade away, these emotions, these memories. They are so very pleasant. Her eyes drifted to the moon, where the thousand crosses stained the clear light crimson. Another precious memory resurfaced. Hikari smiled in her mind, and pointed to the word underlined in the book.

"Longing," she recited. "A strong craving, a desire for something mostly unattainable."


"Paint?"

Koga's massive arms crossed as he stared at the sky in wonder. Behind him, the furnaces burned and the sound of hammers echoed out. After his fourth attempt the gift had taken shape, and with the large man's assistance, it was bound to not break easily.

"I guess I can try to use some of the colors of the clay, maybe dilute the coals to get a black taint," Shinji mentioned. "But I don't know if those will simply wash away."

"Hmm, yeah. That won't last much. We fired the piece twice with the basis already, stuff like clay or coal won't stick." Koga let out a loud bark of laughter. "There's one person I know, who lives close by and has an array of different natural pigments you can use," the man said, smiling wide. "But you're not gonna like who it is."

Shinji groaned as quietly as possible, which was still loud enough for Koga to hear. The man burst into a fit of throaty laughter, and slapped him twice on the back. Of course, it's Viko, he thought, shoulders slumping. Of course it is.

"Guess that means more plant duty," Shinji mumbled, eliciting more mirth from the forge master. "Nothing's really free with Viko except the damn lemonade."

"Hey, it's good for you! Ain't that what he always says?" Koga went back into the forge with a wave. "The pieces will be ready tomorrow. Good luck, kid!"

Relinquishing his wish to end his afternoon fishing, and hopefully speaking with Asuka, Shinji headed for the strange man's home. The strange family lived a few minutes away from the village center, in a small wooden house surrounded by a lush, meticulously decorated garden. It always smelled of lemon, lavender, and rain. Every few days a new plant would be added to the garden's 'collection'.

The path to the main door was adorned with river rocks, each containing carved letters in a language he did not recognize. Even after living in the village nigh on a month, and speaking regularly with him, the blonde remained a mystery and a stranger, an unimaginably hospitable person in the most unimaginably inhospitable world.

No matter who I ask, nobody says a thing, Shinji thought. His hand hovered at the door. I can just try with the clay and charcoal. Somehow, I'll get a good red color. I just need to try, and then I won't have to ask Viko for anyth-

A deafening rumble paralyzed his knuckles just as they were about to knock. Harsh words spoken in a foreign language, in a tone so macabre it took Shinji several seconds to realize who was speaking. He followed the voice, tiptoeing behind the house. The man he related with nothing but smiles was snarling down at large pieces of wood. Shirtless, he grabbed onto the logs and placed them on the chopping block, grumbling in the same foreign language with every step. He screamed before, during, and after the large pieces of wood were split in half.

Viko's features were obscured by a scowl that not even Asuka could possibly rival. The very energy around the clearing froze Shinji's body and placed every sense on high alert. He saw something akin to a barcode on the man's nape, slashes on his back that covered most of the exposed skin, and the horror of his gnarled hands.

No wonder he wears gloves all the time, Shinji realized. His thoughts drifted to Asuka's eye-patch. Heal, his mind rumbled as another massive log was sliced in half. To make free from injury or disease. To make well again.

"Blyat!" Viko screamed. The man lodged the axe in the chopping block with a brutal slash, then turned, pointing a finger at Shinji. "You!" he bellowed, switching to Japanese. "Get over here! What are you doing, hiding there like a thief?"

Despite his instincts screaming for flight, he forced his limbs forward. Earn. Earn, Shinji. Getting that paint is more important than your fear. "H-Hi," he muttered, gaze drifting to the mountain of chopped logs to his left. "I didn't mean to interrupt."

"Eh?" the man huffed, hair sticking to his face and back. "Interrupt? Nonsense!" The murderous aura surrounding the area receded in a heartbeat. Viko smiled through the sweat dribbling off his face. "It's always a pleasure to see you, Shinji."

Why? His mind barked, annoyance igniting anew. His brow furrowed. "Thanks," he responded through gritted teeth. "It can wait if you're… busy."

"Nah, I needed a little break, anyhow," Viko said. He rummaged through a bag laying close to the chopping block, produced two bottles of lemonade and threw one in Shinji's direction. "Come over here, the view is best at this time."

Shinji carefully sat next to where the blonde collapsed, taking a hesitant drink of lemonade sweetened with sugar cane and ginger. The swift change in Viko's demeanor arose all sorts of alarms in his head. Who was this person, exactly?

"I've been trying to do something for Ryoji," Shinji revealed. "I need some paint to finish it."

"Do you, now?" Viko asked with a chuckle. Bruised fingers pushed the sweated golden locks away. No sign of the wrath he had just witnessed remained in the man's green eyes. "Let me guess. Blue, white, black, red in different tones. Orange. Golden."

Misato's pet ruffled its feathers and drank from a beer can in his memory, forcing a brief snicker out of Shinji's chest. The leaves and dry branches behind him crunched, announcing Asuka had arrived. His muscles relaxed further.

"What's the catch?" he demanded, eyes shifting to Viko's scars. On his chest, stomach, forearms, all over his back and hands. What in the world happened to you?

"There is none," replied Viko, and took a long sip of his drink. The melancholy in his voice weighed down more heavily than the screams, or what he assumed to be foul language. "I won't tell, either, if you're worried about that." As Viko put a finger to his lips, Shinji noticed there was no nail on it. A piece was missing. "Lips are sealed."

It happened again, just as it had the first time they had met. Whatever walls his subconscious had built over the years crumbled under the strain of the man's sad smile. Safety, his mind offered. The condition of being protected from or unlikely to cause danger, risk, or injury.

Shinji's thoughts instantly drew to crimson-golden hair. A frown firmly placed on her features, deepening with every bite of her meal. Soft fabric atop his head, the splendor of the pirate pin, the cold caress from the roundels as his fingers traced them. Warmth unlike anything he had ever felt, ignited by nothing but her jacket and scent.

He never said a word, nor did Viko request a response. The sight was breathtaking; soft traces of pink, red, yellow and purple painted the firmament to his right, while lamps, lights and candles ignited to his left. Selfishly, he wished for the courage to invite Asuka over to where they sat, share his lemonade with her and ask about her life.

After light faded from the sky, Viko stretched and went inside the house. Shinji dared a sidelong glance to where he knew Asuka to be standing, shocked to see her gaze fixed on the village. This is the place I protect, her voice remarked harshly. His hands curled into fists. I'd like to protect it, as well.

The way Viko approached without making a sound was eerie. Shinji realized why the man's presence unsettled him so; it was impossible to get a clear read from him. Love, kindness and patience reflected permanently in his green eyes, but there was darkness, as well. Pain and suffering incomprehensible, loneliness, wrath, and agony hid behind the smile.

"There, got the best ones," Viko whispered. A small package containing several small plastic bottles was gingerly placed next to him. "Best if you do your little side-project away from prying eyes. Feel free to use the house. Hmm, Ryoji's bound to arrive soon. Wanna stay over for dinner?"

"Thanks, but I have to go," Shinji responded, and pocketed the paint. Dinner. Maybe she'll like the stew Hikari taught me to make. "Say hi to him for me. And… can you please not tell him about any of this?"

"Only if you promise to invite your friend over for lemonade and sight-seeing next time," Viko answered with the familiar easy smile. A gloved finger pressed against his lips again. "Not a word."

"Not a word," Shinji agreed just as quietly. "Uhm, what does blyat mean?"

"I think you know exactly what it means. Just don't tell Ryoji, I don't like it when he uses foul language."

They shared a laugh that reinvigorated Shinji's senses. He realized how often he had been laughing lately. Asuka's quiet footfalls accompanied him through the walk back to Kensuke's house. At some point he started feeling light-headed, yet it had nothing to do with lack of food or drink. His stomach rumbled regardless, and a protein bar was pushed into his hands without any explanation.

"Thank you," Shinji said, daring a glance and a hesitant smile. "I have a new recipe I want to try."

"Better not be bland," Asuka demanded. "Not like it matters, anyway."

He recalled the very few times they walked back from school or NERV. Feet moving slower still, Shinji relished in having Asuka glare at him to ensure the food had been consumed. Somehow, it doesn't feel like she's just watching a prisoner. The batteries, the jacket, the cap. The dictionary. I have to earn them. Earn, Shinji.

"To make worthy of, or obtain for." Shinji muttered.

"What?"

"N-Nothing!"

Asuka shrugged and pointed towards the forest. "Whatever. How's the idiot tree doing?"

Warmth. It sizzled inside his chest and spread all over his body, akin to the comfort of the jacket. It was the first time she asked about the sapling.

"It has twenty-eight leaves, now." He tried in vain to hide the excitement in his voice. "The ants took two the other day, but Viko said they have to eat, as well."

"Like the dumb blonde knows anything about anything," she countered. "You plan on counting the stupid leaves for the next four years?"

I'd like to. The realization slammed against him like Asuka's fist had on the glass. I'd like to stay here. Help. Build. Earn. I'd like to see you smile, if only just once.

"Would that be a severe enough punishment?" he asked instead. Humor danced in his tone as they reached the house.

"Heh." The corners of Asuka's mouth quirked upward a tiny fraction. "Maybe."


"Maybe."

Ryoji groaned into the bowl and rolled his eyes. "Come on!" he rebuked in vain, pretending to frown at his dinner. "You promised! And what's that thing you say all the time?"

"Man of my word," Viko replied with a grin. "But I never promised to let you have the guitar."

"It's not like I want to play it," he grumbled. The stew was more delicious than expected, meaning Shinji had come at some point in the night. "I just want to know how it works and stuff."

"And that is precisely why you're not getting it. It's not a toy you can pick apart and put back together."

"I bet it is, and I bet I can. Come on! I just wanna see how the transistors work! It's important to me!"

"Uh huh," Viko spooned the last remnants of his dinner, chucking. "That's why I said maybe. Now, finish your dinner and drink your lemonade. It's good for you."

"Yeah, yeah. It's good for me," Ryoji downed the glass in a few gulps. "You put a little elbow grease into the stew tonight, didn't you?"

"First of all, yuck," Viko replied, laughing. "And second; can't I try to make some good grub for my Brat?"

He picked up one of the limes resting on the table and threw it at the blonde. As always, the projectile was caught in mid-air. "You're so full of it today! You were hoping to have Shinji stay over for dinner again, weren't you?"

Placing a hand against his chest, Viko pretended to be in deep pain. "My own offspring, so distrusting! What did I ever do to deserve this horrible fate?"

"You raised me, so I know you pretty damn well," Ryoji smiled and threw another lime, with no satisfying result. How were the man's reflexes so well honed? "You're trying to sit them together at the table and tease them. I see you, Mr. Cupid. You really shouldn't push it, you know."

"It's not pushing, per se. Just a little nudge in the right direction." Viko cut the most recent lime in half and threw a piece in Ryoji's direction. The lime landed perfectly in the middle of his bowl. "But you may have a point. Can't help myself, though! I mean, don't you want to sort of smack them together at times, as well?"

"Are you kidding? Every freaking day." Ryoji pointed at the window, in the direction of the fields. "She follows him everywhere, everywhere! And she's been having those weird 'dinner parties' with him and Ms. Lookalike, too. It's like they're joined at the hip, I swear."

Amusement reverberated through the room. Life was good, always had been for him, regardless of how terrible of a world he had to live in.

"So you agree that some proper… nudging… would be good for the situation, yes?"

"Nope. I think they're doing just fine on their own." Another fit of cackles exploded from the boy's mouth when Viko pretended to be stabbed yet again. "Shinji told me she gave him her hat or something? When have you ever seen the great Major give anything to… well, anybody?"

"A fair point, but hey, can't blame a man for trying!" Viko rose from the table, refilled both their bowls as he nibbled on the diced limes, and sat back down with an exaggerated groan. "Have you told him that you don't actually want the cake he's bending over backwards to bake for you yet?"

"Nah, I'll let it be. Suppose you're bound to be right at something," Ryoji said in between bites. The stew was delicious. "It's nice to have him around, isn't it?"

"It's nice to have them around," Viko corrected, pointing at him with his spoon. "Wouldn't be half as fun if you didn't catch her ducking out of sight."

The comment was disregarded with a shrug. Ryoji frowned at his stew. "I just wish she was more honest. With herself, with him, with us. You know? How dumb is it to pretend to hate a person you're constantly looking after?"

"Well, she's had a very complicated life, from what I understand," his father, sibling and friend responded. "Reminds me a bit of my brother. Only he was extremely honest and upfront about everything."

His head perked up at the last remark, having considered something similar days before. "She does? In what way?"

"You know, angry all the time, sometimes even viciously so," Viko explained further. "Not really living, just expecting the next fight. Awaiting death as some sort of solace or freedom. Dreaming of a simple life as the greatest Nirvana. Makes me want to help."

"That's something you share with Shinji, then," he reasoned. "Most of us just follow the big fu-"

"Language, child."

"-screw off sign on her forehead." The pair shared yet another laugh. "Anyway. I guess you're doing what you can. Helping her by helping him, I mean."

"Step by step, little by little," Viko repeated. Even if he was like a broken record most times, Ryoji found his sayings endearing. "Can't start with the whole forest at once."

The remnants of paint lingered on parts of Viko's pants and apron. His eyes narrowed at the white, red and black stains. "How come you scheduled me and him for different tasks this entire week? You know I don't want a big party, or any dumb gift."

"And yet you'll be getting both." Viko gave him a wolfish grin. "It's fun to shake things up from time to time. Keeps life interesting."

"I just want my application approved," he complained yet again. "That'd be the best present ever."

"Yeah, over my dead body. You're getting a party and you're gonna love it. Who knows, maybe even the Major will show up!"

"Oh, joy, can't wait for that." This time, the frown was sincere. "You're being lame, you know."

Viko laughed heartily, slapped the table twice and set off to wash the dishes. "I used to say that to my brother all the time. Now, tell me more about this hat."

Despite his request being ignored for the umpteenth time, Ryoji's mood brightened at the memory of how much Shinji had blushed the day before.

"Well, you remember those roundels?"


The leader narrowed its eyes at her again.

What? Do you have a problem, you stupid bird? She felt like throwing a fish bone at it, if only to incense the penguin. I know the idiot's fond of you lot, but I'll cook you up right here if you keep staring at me.

"I think it likes you," Shinji's voice made her eyebrow twitch in annoyance. "Keeps staring at you all the time."

"There's a difference between staring and glaring, you of all people know that," Asuka replied, and glared at her 'prisoner' for emphasis. "Not half bad, this fish. Those herbs you're using and the lemon don't make for a poor taste."

"Thank you!" Shinji beamed at her, which ruffled the unsettling emotions in her belly and chest.

"Could use a little more salt, though," she added. A small bag containing the spice was quickly presented to her. "Hmm, artisan, fisherman, cook, and now waiter as well," she sprinkled a bit on her fish, suppressing the urge to smirk in brutal fashion. "You've been a busy idiot lately."

"We're baking a big cake for Ryoji's birthday in the ration center," Shinji said. "I've had to hide my gift from him in three different spots, already."

Grumbling half a chuckle, Asuka picked at her plate and never realized her eye had lost its dangerous edge altogether. "You're actually going through with it? That dumb cake and the clay figure?"

"Yeah." Shinji looker over his shoulder, to his left, his right, and gingerly stood from his box. "D-Do you wanna see how it's coming along?"

The Third apparently took her nonchalant shrug as a 'yes'. He hurried to one of the smaller rooms of the old building, rummaging through firewood, rocks, and discarded pieces. His absence gave her a chance to see how he had basically built a small oven, and a top surface that worked as a skillet with naught but clay, pieces of metal and rocks.

What a freaking idiot. Asuka's gaze caressed the cup he had made for her. I was joking about the whole fresh catch thing. And yet every other day now, we sit here like a pair of god damn children, wasting time. Here I am, pretending to be fourteen. Playing house with this idiot and the clone. Pathetic.

Shinji approached, still looking, craning his head in all directions to ensure Ryoji was nowhere in sight. Why do I not want this to end, if it's so pathetic? I thought I had laid all those thoughts aside long ago.

"So, remember when we were in Misato's apartment?" Shinji inquired, voice barely above a whisper.

"I do." Asuka's shoulders, stiff for about fourteen years, uncoiled a tiny fraction. "What about it?"

Both their expression darkened with sadness once he next spoke. "Remember Pen-Pen, and Misato drinking beer at the table?"

"Yeah. Annoying bird, not unlike your friends over there," she pointed at the leader, who had opted to stand a few feet away from Shinji in the afternoons. "Bathing in the tub like he owned it when I was trying to take a shower."

"Oh, yeah," he muttered. She peeked through the curtain of overgrown hair, satisfied to see his face turn scarlet. "He gave me a scare in the shower, too. But… you gave me a good idea that day. Ryoji really doesn't know his mom at all, and it's painful for him. So…"

He removed the stained rag concealing a ceramic figure that resembled a penguin. The flippers were mismatched, one of the legs was a bit smaller, the beak was slightly crooked. And yet, Asuka saw the foolish backpack, the name engraved at its chest, the feathers around the beak and head.

Pen-Pen squawked happily at her, as though being held on Shinji's hands and wiggling with a beer in between its claws. "Pfft." She chortled, shaking her head, and smiled. "Yeah, I can see the resemblance."

Nearing the figurine brought more minute details such as the attention to the surface to imitate feathers, the careful strokes of paint, and the almost lively expression on its features. She took it from his shaking hands, and inspected the beer can held in the left flipper. The piece glistened to a degree, it felt sturdy enough to not crack under her hold.

"Not bad, Third," Asuka said, pushing the figurine in his direction. "What?" She raised her one visible eyebrow when Shinji made no move to retrieve it. "Penguin got your tongue?"

The expression on him was strange, nothing she had ever seen before. His face was flushed, mouth somewhat agape. Shock? No, the way his eyes almost shone was intense enough to make her uncomfortable. The flames of her hatred and rage smoldered and self-consciousness arose in her being for once in fourteen years.

"What?" Asuka repeated.

"You're… smiling," Shinji said, almost in a trance. He looked just about ready to burst into tears. "You're smiling."

She smirked wider and got to her feet, pushing the figurine into his arms just as she pushed the misery and anger down. I'll give myself this moment, because it's all I'll ever have. "So? Have you never seen me smile before?"

"No, I don't think so." His voice shook, uneven. "Not until today."

"Heh, you say the dumbest things." Asuka shook her head and turned to him, arms crossed. "You keep whispering all those definitions like a broken record. Give me a good word, then. What's so damn important about me smiling? What's it to you?"

"Treasure," Shinji said without missing a beat.

The smile faded from her lips and blood rushed to her face. Asuka's eye widened. She turned away just as Shinji came to and slapped a hand on his mouth. Only then did she realize why he took such care of the cap, never wore it and gazed at the roundels at dinner. Why the jacket was cared for and worn only on very cold nights. Why certain words were marked in red.

Stupid. Stupid brat. You're too god damn late for this. It's too late. It's… god damn it, Shinji. Why did you have to pick that word?

"What are you, stupid?" she all but whispered. Her face was burning. "Let's go. It's late, and I'm done staring at those birds. Go hide your dumb present and move it."

Shinji did as instructed. In moments they were walking back to the station in a weirdly comfortable silence. At some point in the last five days, she had stopped bothering to walk behind him or conceal her presence. Asuka's heart thundered in her ears and chest, body alive with adrenaline. Her mind was hazy. She was standing to his left, instead of the right like normal.

"Sorry." Shinji muttered once they reached the house.

The apology felt sincere, as though he was truly afraid to have offended her. Another grumble resembling a chuckle blossomed from her chest. Leave it to the Third to apologize for giving a compliment to someone.

"Idiot." Asuka shook her head and pointed to the door. "Get some sleep, tomorrow's the brat's birthday party, after all. And no, no way in hell am I going to that mess."

Could see that question coming from a mile away. I'm not your clone friend, Shinji. I don't do parties. If you want to see me, you can just come here.

She stood outside, watching the sky long after Shinji settled into his blankets and continued with the song's translation. Only the final verses remained.

"Inefficient emotions," Asuka mused. How many times had she gazed at the stars and wondered if he was still out there, trapped in that coffin with Unit 01? "Guess you're not the only one glad for them, Ayanami."


I can't believe it.

His hands stilled despite the nervous energy coursing through every fiber of his being. Carefully cutting the sushi rolls and placing them next to the sausages and sauce, Shinji closed the bento with minute care. It felt imperative to make every meal singular and better than the last.

Can I be selfish? I said only once, but could I see it again, please?

Asuka lay on her bed as Shinji finished the commander's meal and placed hers on the table. He wanted to see her, and was terrified of it all at once. Reality felt intangible for reasons alien to his broken mind. Desperate for any type of solace from the growing uncertainty, Shinji focused on every detail for Ryoji's birthday and tried not to stare at the bedroom door.

The wind made crimson-golden locks dance in his mind. Calm, comely, charming. Resplendent. Her soft words of approval for his efforts, the way she looked so young. Shinji's eyes softened as he focused on the memory, wishing to imprint it in his very soul. Ryoji, Hikari, Toji and Viko had been right all along.

Beautiful.

Koga had hidden away the pieces and promised they would be ready to unveil when the moment came. Expecting the elusive Second Child to attend the festivities was foolish. Just have to get some things ready, and that won't matter all that much. It happened once, already. Come on, Shinji. Work. Build. Help. Earn. No matter what.

"I can give you a lift to the center," Kensuke mentioned over his shoulder whilst storing the meal in his bag. "Looks like it's gonna be a bit cold today!"

"Yeah, I hope it doesn't rain," Shinji responded. "It's not cloudy, at least."

"Nah, no way it's gonna rain on Ryoji's birthday. You can forget about that!" Kensuke laughed as he loaded the hastily wrapped present on the backseat. "Viko would set the forest on fire as protest! Time to go! Got everything you need?"

The roundels gleamed from their perch. A gift, a part of her. And still I can't muster up the courage to ask about those nice roundels. How she got the cap, how long she's had it. Coward. Asuka gave you that gift. Be strong. Have courage. Hesitant, Shinji decided to grab the cap and carefully place it in his backpack. The small pirate insignia emboldened him, fueled his being in a way only the fight against the Ninth Angel had. Courage.

"Yeah." He nodded, and was about to follow Kensuke into the car when the bedroom door opened.

"Hey!"

A package of protein bars flew through the living room. Shinji caught it, shocked his reflexes had acted so quickly. Asuka peeked out from the room, clad in little but the jacket and some undergarments. His face heated, his eyes drifted to the floor on his left to avoid staring.

"Eat, you idiot." Asuka grumbled, and turned back to the bed. "See ya later," she told Kensuke. "And you," her eye narrowed in his direction. "Eat."

The trance deepened. Lightheaded, Shinji stumbled to the car and held the rations close to his chest once he was strapped to his seat. The village leader's remarks and the engine melded into white noise. Something shimmering atop the rations caught his eye. A small piece of paper clung to the red wrapper of what looked to be chocolate.

He threw a furtive glance at Kensuke. The man's attention was on the unstable road, so he hastily unpacked the small note and held it between shivering fingers.

'Don't feel like giving the brat anything. You can say the penguin is from both of us. If you share that or show this to anyone I'll punch you in the face.'

The language on the wrapper was foreign. Gilded letters shone under the morning sun, enticing. Shinji's fingers moved on their own, caution dismissed, and he devoured the small treat before logic returned. His eyes closed as the flavors danced and mingled like one of the musical pieces he liked. The letters blurred.

"You okay over there?" The car halted for a moment. Kensuke's gaze became slightly concerned. "You're crying, Shinji. Is everything okay?"

Mend, he thought. The wound that stung so deeply in his chest since his father's abandonment closed a tiny fraction. To restore to health. To put into good shape or working order again.

"I think so," he said, hugging the rations close. His hand pressed the wrapper against his chest. "Kensuke." Despite the tears still cascading down, his voice was firm. "Thank you. For everything."

Kensuke's eyes drifted to the barrier and the sky. "You're going, then?"

Shinji shook his head. "I don't know. But I wanted to thank you, regardless."

"Don't mention it," the commander replied with an easy smile. The car moved again, shaking under the unsteady terrain. "You like her, don't you?"

The car hit a rock and shook both occupants, drowning out his whispered reply.


"What a waste of my god damn time."

A man's harsh grunt alerted her whilst washing the cups Shinji had crafted. Her hands stilled, eyes drawn to the man shooing away the penguins as he rubbed his nose and drank from a large bottle of brown liquid. In his free hand, a device beeped every few seconds, and every time he glanced at it, another large swig of the bottle followed.

The stench of alcohol overpowered the smooth sea breeze and the comfortable scent of burnt wood. The man stumbled and almost stepped on the penguin leader. Something boiled in her loins, a fire that worsened when the man's boot crushed one of Shinji's least preferred cups, one he used for himself.

"Huh? What's the Major supposed to be doing in this bunch of rubble?" Old, she assumed, about forty years of age. A full, dirty beard obscured the face, while the eyes, squinted and unfocused, glared at the screen on his palm. "Ugh, cheap ass sake. Can't even brew a decent drink in this hell," the brute stumbled and almost fell over Shinji's small brazier and oven. "What is all this crap?"

Crap? Her body trembled, fists curled tight as she hid behind a broken-down wall. These are small efforts to bring us all closer together. These are his tools, made with his very hands. Touch them no more.

"Pfft, is this supposed to be an 's'? Like in Shinji Ikari?" The man spat on the ground and slammed the cup against the ground, where it broke into a thousand pieces. "If I could just get my hands on that brat, the things I'd do…"

The largest cup, the one Shinji mixed the spices or prepared the sauce in, was hurled into the wall next to her head. Stop. Her breath came in quick huffs, mind going blank with anger when the next cup to be grasped by his greasy fingers was hers. Stop touching his belongings. Our belongings. You have no right to taint our precious memories.

"Hey!"

Shinji's voice thundered over the building. The penguins aligned behind, squawking in outrage as the leader waddled just behind the Third Child. Her body shook once more; the size and weight disparities were too obvious.

"Sir! Excuse me, but can you please let that cup go?" Shinji approached in quick strides, with the request sounding more like a demand. "It belongs to someone important. Can you please be careful?"

"Well, I'll be damned." The man let the cup slide from his grasp. It landed near the fireplace, cracking a bit but not breaking. He took several gulps from the stinking drink. "No wonder this damn thing brought me here. It was following your collar, not the Major's."

Shinji's hand shot up to his neck. Tension stifled the air. The penguins stood on high alert and looked ready to dash out into the ocean at any moment. She remained hidden, too overwhelmed by the scorching emotions.

"This is where you come play house, then?" She recognized the insignia on the man's arm as that of the WUNDER's crew. "We drink distilled piss, eat tasteless bars of soap, and stink in our own filth up there for years on end and you sit here, fishing and watching the sunset. Isn't that precious?"

Instantly recoiling at the words, Shinji's gaze drifted to the floor, clenched hands laying at each side. "Anything you need to do, do it to me, please. Leave that alone."

"Oh, look at you... giving orders and everything, are we?" Another swig, and a finger was pointed at Shinji. "Everything, every last part of this hell is your fault, you little brat. We should've skinned you alive the moment that Eva spat you out."

"I know it's my fault," replied Shinji. "I know. But please, leave that alone. I'm trying… I'm trying to help however I can. I'm try-"

"You're trying? You're trying!" The man erupted in sarcastic laughter. Sickness was the next emotion to simmer in her belly. "Hah! That's the best joke I've heard in months! So you fish here, huh? Cook this for that Ayanami Series clone? That's what you do? You play with clay like a child while we rot up there? How valorous of the great Third Child! You think I'm the only one up there who wants you dead, brat?"

A foot was about to crush Asuka's cup when her body reacted. She pushed the stranger away and made him stumble, drunk as he was.

"Wha-oh, isn't this just about perfect?" She fell on the floor with naught but a small shove and a snarl. "I forgot they were housing one of you freaks in here, as well."

"Leave her alone!"

Shinji rushed them with enough momentum to push the outsider away from both her and their small dining area. Ruffling, the horrible sound of more ceramic and clay breaking, a grunt and the stench of alcohol.

"Get off me, you little brat!"

However, Shinji was fighting someone as big as the forge master, who picked both himself and the boy off the ground and threw Shinji like a rag doll. The backpack he had been carrying went flying, picked by the man's sake-coated hand.

"What's all this you got here, huh? You're doing chores, is that what you're doing? While we're out fighting monsters, you're doing chores?" The tracksuit top, SDAT two bentos and Asuka's cap cascaded to the floor. Both her and the man's eyes widened at the last item. "How do you have this? This belongs to the Major. Come here, come here!"

Shinji was picked by the scruff of his shirt and almost lifted off the ground. "Let me go! Don't touch that! Get your dirty hands off it! Asuka gave that to me!" He tried in vain to strike at the beard, the eyes, the throat, all on vain, while she sat on the floor, paralyzed. "Let it go!"

"Go to hell, you useless runt!" Shinji flew through the air a second time, impacting heavily on the concrete. "This is property of the Second Child. You think I'm stupid enough to believe she'd give this to you of all people? Must be so nice, huh. Must be so nice for you freaks. Never aging, never worrying. You have no families, you, the Second, or that freak over there. No loved ones. Your own father turned you into a freak. You can't understand what is like for us."

It took several moments for Shinji to move. She noticed a bruise on the side of his head, where it had impacted the ground. Move. Fight. She urged her body, yet it remained motionless. Help him.

"M-Maybe I can't," Shinji uttered as he shakily rose to his feet. "But whatever your grudge is, it's with me. Give that back, and leave Rei alone."

Her hands stilled. Rei. That was her name.

"As if, runt." The man collected his bottle, grunting as he noticed most of it had spilled. He drank whatever was left and produced a pocket knife. "I'm so damn tired of treating that ageless pain in the ass like my superior, just because she can pilot that hunk of junk. Been waiting a long time for this."

The knife cut clean through the soft material, tearing it almost in half in a single slash. Before Shinji crashed against him again, the man was able to rip whatever remained of it to shreds with his hands. The victory was short-lived, as this time it was his head that bounced of the concrete once, twice, thrice as punches rained down his face.

"I told you to stop!" Shinji bellowed. For a moment, he overpowered the heavier adult. "Don't ever insult either of them again! How dare you call them freaks?" Another punch landed and sent a tooth flying. "I told you to stop! I begged you! Why didn't you listen, huh? Why do you have to keep taking away what's important to me!"

"Enough!"

The man came to his senses and sunk his boot in Shinji's midsection, hovering over the youth as he struggled to breathe. He spat a pinkish glob, knelt and reared back his fist. "The captain only ever said 'alive'," he whispered. The tone of his voice sent shivers down her spine. "I've been waiting too long for this. Gotta make sure to enjoy it."

"Keep waiting then. You're not gonna enjoy a damn thing."

Rei turned to her right to see the Second Child stand next to her, aiming some sort of weapon at the man.

"But I am."

Tremors shook the man's body an instant later. He convulsed and fell to the side, away from Shinji, and at last her body responded. She rushed to him, unsure of what to do once Shinji started getting back to his feet.

Asuka kept her finger on the trigger long after the immediate had danger passed. Even as her prey tried to get on his hands and knees, her foot pushed his face against the ground.

"Who told you you could put your dirty hands on my property, or my prisoner?" She crouched, and Rei felt terror when something underneath the eye-patch glistened. "Touch him again," she growled. "And it'll be the last thing you ever do."

"There he is! Ah, god damn it!"

"Ken, Viko, hurry it up!"

Toji's voice rang out from behind them as Rei helped Shinji into a sitting position. The village leader, botanist expert, and local doctor surrounded them in seconds. All three men shook their heads at the brute lying on the ground.

"Koga's cousin," Asuka announced, foot still pressed on the unconscious crew member's cheek. "I hope the three of you understand that's the only reason he's still breathing. Insubordination, not following orders, threatening WUNDER property. Shooting block has his name all over it."

Her animalistic glare focused on the village commander. "Get him out of my sight. Not a word from you, Kensuke. Not a god damn word. I hold you entirely responsible for this."

The usually talkative duo said nothing as both Viko and Kensuke lifted the man off the ground and carried him away. Toji lingered for a moment. She noticed how his gaze went from her and Shinji to the redhead, how his hands clenched and relaxed at his sides. He lay a small kit next to Asuka's feet.

"You've got this handled, right?" he asked.

"What the hell do you think?" Asuka snapped with enough harshness to make him take a step back. "Go on, get on out of here. You've all got that dumb party to finish planning."

Toji left in silence, and the moment he was out of sight Rei witnessed the same strange occurrence from days before; the mask of rage melting yet again. Still unsure of what to do, all she had done was hold onto Shinji's arm as he sat on the ground, head bowed.

Asuka's hands moved to Shinji's head the moment she crouched beside them. Rei watched, enthralled, as her hands softly inspected the bruised areas around the forehead and the back of the skull. It almost felt like she was ruffling his hair.

"Nothing broken." Asuka's eye went over the many shattered pieces of clay. "Well, almost nothing."

"It's fine," Shinji spoke in a quiet, yet firm voice. "I can make new ones. Better ones. I'm just… y-your cap-"

"Bah." Dabbing a piece of gauze in fresh water, Asuka pressed it against the small bruise beside Shinji's temple. "It's a stupid hat. I never liked it in the first place, it was too damn uncomfortable. Kept the the roundels in place, though."

Blood droplets fell on her thigh as she held Shinji's injured hand. Rei inspected the cut, tiny but deep, atop his knuckles. Asuka sprayed water all over Shinji's other arm. He had landed on it one of the times the man had thrown him to the ground, resulting in a few scratches around his elbow and forearm.

"Look at you, weren't you supposed to be looking your best for the Katsuragi spawn?"

"I'm sorry," Shinji muttered. His head hung lower, unable, or unwilling to look at either girl. "I tried to… I tried to do something."

She heard his breath hitch after Asuka took the injured hand from her hold and began cleaning the cut. Her visible eye held emotions she had yet to identify. Anger was unexplainably absent, and so was most of the yearning and misery. It feels like… approval. Pride.

Rei nodded to herself and forced her legs to work. She collected the remnants of the hat, and the broken cups, placing them beside Shinji. A few renegade tears escaped his eyes, yet he did not weep. Is one supposed to hold him, now? How does one- Oh.

When the cut was clean, Asuka's hands went to Shinji's face and held it upwards. She still seemed to be checking for injuries, crouched and basically hovering over him. Then, Asuka placed her forehead against his, and closed her eye. Shinji's labored breaths quieted and faded away as she remained in that position, hands lost in his locks.

Affection. A gentle feeling of fondness and liking. A tender attachment.

"Not bad, you idiot," Asuka murmured. "Not bad at all." She grabbed the biggest piece of the cap and removed the blue roundel, attaching it on Shinji's damaged shirt. "I don't have any medals on me, so this'll have to suffice. I'm taking this one, though." She placed the red one near her collarbone. "If you want it back, you have to earn it."

Despite the stress of the situation, she smiles. The Second Child smiles in the face of adversity, that is when she shines the brightest. A flame to guide him through the shadows.

Relief flooded her senses. The time was nigh, not even all the syringes in the world would suffice. A peaceful hum erased the tense fear, anger and uncertainty from earlier.

"But that's the one I like the most," Shinji said, sounding chastised. His voice made her burst into quiet giggles, and drew a smirk on Asuka's features. "How can I earn it back?"

"I don't know yet. For now, though, go get changed." Asuka picked up the fallen bentos and pushed one in her direction. She sat opposite to Rei, legs crossed, as she produced a box of her own from the jacket. "I'll keep my eye on this one."

"Thank you," Shinji began to walk away, stopped, turned, walked two steps further and stopped again. She chuckled when he took a deep breath and almost marched back. "Asuka, thank you. Really. I'm very sorry about the hat. I'll do my best to… to earn back the roundel."

"Pfft, sure, whatever." Asuka shrugged. "I'll check on that cut and your dumb head before the stupid party begins."

Even when she could not see it, Shinji bowed and hurried back to the train station, taking the discarded pieces of the cap in his backpack.

Both female pilots remained, each nibbling from their respective bentos as the acrid odor of liquor washed away with the ocean breeze. Her eyes lingered on the remains of Shinji's cup, and her own, broken at the base, where the water had long since leaked out.

"It will not be long now," Rei murmured between bites. She mirrored Asuka and prolonged every nibble. "Thank you. Will you look after him, when I am gone?"

"Can't promise that," Asuka replied. Her thumb pointed at the path to the train station. "It's all on him and what he chooses to do."

You still have doubt. How… troublesome, she considered with a frown. "And when he makes the correct decision, will you follow those inefficient emotions? Will you look after him?"

"What are you, stupid?" rebuked Asuka with a flick of her hair. "Have I not been doing that, already? Get back to your meal, Rei."


He scrubbed the cut on his knuckles with urgency until blood stopped dripping out.

The skin of his palms, elbows and knees was raw and stung as water poured over it. Scratches and small bruises made themselves known once the adrenaline wore off, driving all sorts of aches and pains up and down his body. Anger, discontent, confusion and sadness mingled in his chest once he toweled off and dressed.

Standing alone in the middle of the tiny kitchen, Shinji's fingers traced the DSS choker. Kaworu's death, which had evaded him for so many days, washed over him along with the memories of his confinement in WILLE. The short time spent in the WUNDER followed. Eyes filled with hate, so deep and rotten that it had been palpable even in his broken state.

He wandered through the halls of the WUNDER, hands bound, following a figure clad in red. Kaworu's body exploded again, yet he did not retch, nor did he fall to his knees to hyperventilate or curl into a ball. Instead, Shinji reached for the roundel resting on the table and focused on its crimson center.

I always knew they were out there, and that they would come for me. I always knew that's what I deserve, that this life here was too good to be true. Why don't I feel sorry, then? Why don't I feel ashamed to have hurt that man?

"A medal." The words were quiet, yet echoed like a scream in the empty house. Shinji picked up the dictionary and sat on the table, red marker in hand. "A piece of metal often resembling a coin and having a stamped design." The roundel danced in between the fingers of his injured hand. "That is issued to commemorate a person or event or awarded for… excellence or achievement."

"I don't have any medals on me."

"But you do," he whispered next. There was another sensation, one that overpowered the shame, anger and fear. "And you gave me one."

Eyes closed, he recalled the scent of strawberry, fresh water and LCL, the warmth of her skin as it just barely touched his. Her fingers lost in his hair, almost caressing, soothing. Elation akin to what he had felt the first, and only time his father had acknowledged his existence.

It's coming. I can feel it. Why can't I bring myself to think about it, then? How is my pathetic effort worthy of any sort of recognition?

The soft fabric of what remained of the hat was placed in a pocket of the red jacket. It would be foolish to wear the roundel; it could fall off, get scratched or incite another pointless confrontation. He stored the pin next to his SDAT, which upon inspection was sporting a small new scratch, but otherwise functioned as before.

Today is Ryoji's day. And you have something… something that you want to give to someone very special. Viko says if I blink, I'll miss the good moments as they pass me by. I won't allow that to happen ever again.

Again, Shinji closed his eyes, and again he was instantly transported to that moment. Asuka's presence beside him, Rei's hands gingerly holding his own. Strength. Comfort.

"Maybe Hikari can help me fix the hat, or get another one," he wondered out loud, and hoisted the bag of ingredients over his shoulder. Today was about Ryoji. It was about the villagers, about seeing them smile and filling their bellies with good, warm food. "I know there's gotta be a way t-"

"Leave it," Asuka's voice rang out from the door. He froze and almost dropped the bag. "It's a stupid hat. I can get another one, you can get another one. Stop fussing over spilled milk, you idiot. Come here."

Body reacting in an automated trance yet again, he presented himself to Asuka. His face heated for reasons alien to the strikes received earlier when her hands prodded around the bruise near his temple. His hand followed. Asuka wrapped a fine gauze around the nip between his knuckles. His eyes must have fooled him, for what looked like the shadow of a smirk danced on her lips.

"The chocolate was incredible," he murmured. Courage. Courage. His fingers grasped hers and squeezed for a second. "Best I've ever had."

"Damn right." Asuka tapped at his knuckles and punched his arm in quick succession. She said nothing of his intrusive gesture. "Get out of here, then. You have a cake to prepare. Wear a glove on that hand, and don't get that wound infected, idiot."

"I will," he lingered on the door, hand clenching into a fist. "I… I'd like to talk to you tonight. Would that be okay?"

"What else am I supposed to do? Pretend to sleep?" Asuka asked instead. "Bring me some food when you get back."


Look after him? I asked Misato's brat to do that.

Shinji had barely shed any tears after the horrible incident. Luckily for Koga's drunken cousin, nothing short of a few cups had been damaged, with the fireplace remaining unblemished. For a few precious seconds, the idiot had overpowered a man many times his size and weight.

What an idiot.

The roundel glistened from its perch next to the SDAT. Slow, boring hours passed as she lay on the mattress and occasionally lifted the blue and purple plush toy to the ceiling. "I've always been alone," she repeated. "It's less painful that way."

"You're smiling."

"Even good memories hurt," Asuka told the doll. "Everything hurts, all the time." The taste of the morning meal returned, forcing a dry chuckle from her chest. "Fine. Not everything, and not all the time."

Talk to me, she thought. A frown obscured her features when she touched the plush's head and arm, recalling the red markings around Shinji's arms, the bruise on his temple. The way he had stood his ground, protected what he considered important, and held his composure afterwards forced another tiny smirk to shine on her lips. Getting bold, are we, Shinji.

"Treasure." Asuka rose from bed and dressed in the plug suit and military jacket. "What are you, stupid?"

After another glimpse at his sad collection of items, she confirmed the roundel was still where he had left it. The red one he liked so much was hidden away in her duffle bag. I still haven't decided how he'll earn it. Serves him right, I give him the ridiculous hat and he gets it shredded the first time he takes it with him. Heh, typical.

It was no secret that Shinji was disliked by a significant number of the WUNDER crew. That one of them would cross the line and try to assault him, however, was a new and disturbing occurrence. The rebel faction within their ranks was getting bolder, just as they ran out of time to face Ikari and the ticker neared zero in her head.

"Misato's been informed, can't really do much else from here except keen my eye on that idiot," Asuka told herself while exiting the house. "Even if he's not so fragile, anymore."

The party was bound to start at sundown, so Asuka thought little of it when her feet dragged her to where the tree was growing. She counted the leaves, squashed a few ants trying to get close to it, and removed the weeds from its direct vicinity.

"I don't think I'll get to name you," she revealed. "But it was nice to see you grow."


"Great, great, this is perfect."

Toji paced through the shack and threw the occasional glare of disgust to the man bound to the only available chair. Viko stood a few feet away from their prisoner, inspecting some of the broken pieces of clay collected from Shinji's fishing spot. His face was unreadable, blank.

"And it had to be on Ryoji's birthday," Kensuke added tersely. He spared another glance at the blonde. "I'm really sorry about this, Viko."

"It's fine," Viko muttered. His gloved hands traced the uneven edges of a shattered cup. "It's terrible that Shinji was hurt. Ryoji and everyone else will notice right away."

"One day," grunted Toji as he circled their prisoner. "We can't have one day. One single day. And to think it wasn't a Wanderer, a malfunction of the L-Barrier, or God forbid, Fourth Impact." He lifted Koga's cousin by the shirt and shook him. "It had to be a drunken sailor. Do you know your cousin helped build those cups you broke? That he likes Shinji, as all of us here in the village do! Did you know that?"

"My cousin's a softie and a hypocrite," the man muttered. His tongue traced where an incisor had once been, where blood occasionally trickled down his mouth. "All of you are. Housing a terrorist, a monster, the reason the world is broken," he slurred, and spat next to Toji's foot. "You're all part of the problem, part of the reason this world is Hell."

Kensuke's nails dug into the skin of his forearms. "Let him go, Toji," he ordered. The doctor relented with a grunt. "There will be plenty of him to smack once Koga gets word of this. The best we can do is try to put this behind us and celebrate as scheduled. It's what Shinji would want."

"Shinji, Shinji, Shinji," the man interrupted, spitting again as he struggled in vain to get free. "How pathetic all of you are. The captain has the same problem, that's why she's no good. Housing a freak, a dog of war like Ikari's brat. He's nothing but a monster, in the end. And a weakling at th-"

Both him and Toji flinched at the sound of bone clashing against bone. Two molars flew away and fell on the ground as the man's head rattled and hung. Blood and saliva puddled onto the chair.

Viko's leg retracted without a sound. His hand shot up and grabbed the man's face. "Broken jaw. I'll have to extend my apologies to Koga," he uttered. The temperature of the room turned as icy as his voice. "Don't ever insult Shinji Ikari in my presence."

The commander shuddered when Viko's thumb pressed on what he assumed was the place where the man's jaw had snapped in two. A wail of agony was silenced by a swift punch to the crew member's gut.

"Today is my brother's birthday, so I don't have any time to waste it on you," Again, his thumb applied pressure on the fracture. "How many of you are there?"

Even withering in pain, the man smiled through broken, bloodied teeth. "Enough," he slurred, eyes rolling to the back of his head. "Enough."

"It's as we feared," Viko announced, and got to his feet. "They've been emboldened, and are growing in numbers. Has the captain been informed?"

"Of course," Kensuke replied. "If Shinji decides to step onto that ship, things might get complicated."

"Guess the day was bound to come, anyhow." Viko stretched, slapped himself with both hands and produced the easy smile Kensuke was used to seeing. "I've been living on borrowed time all these years. About damn time I stepped up." He turned to face them. "Just take care of my little Brat for me, will you?"

"You know we will." Toji offered after a few seconds. "What are you planning on doing?"

"I'll make sure that tree is properly named." Viko responded with a shrug. He smiled. The sun was about to set.

"You have my word."


A groan rang loud and clear through the clearing.

"This is so lame."

The massive entourage of about five hundred people laughed in unison. Ryoji growled under his breath and sulked in his high chair. The hat crafted by the women tilted to the side similarly to how Bunzaemon wore his cap out on the fields, which only elicited another choir of mirth.

Even as he tried to pretend otherwise, Shinji saw the smile slowly make its way to Ryoji's features. Silence descended on the Kaji property. Every attendant took a deep, impatient breath whilst the birthday boy inspected the decorations, the set of tables filled to the brim with food and drink, and the large 'Happy Birthday' sign hanging from two trees.

"Fine," Ryoji smiled, and laughed to himself as he raised the cup decorated by the village children. "Thank you all for coming! Let's get this going!"

Unbeknownst to him, Ryoji emptied his cup and slammed his hand on he table exactly like Misato would. A loud cheer roared afterwards as the party began. Gallons of liquor fermented from Viko's fruits, lemonade and clear water ran like rivers.

"Gosh, look at that bruise!" One of the ladies who worked with Rei swayed, and pointed at his head. "Are you okay, Shinji?"

"It's nothing, really," he repeated for the seventeenth time that evening. "I'm fine, thank you."

Dealing with Koga had been horrendous enough. To make matters worse, every few minutes another inebriated village member voiced their concern. It felt strange to belong somewhere, to feel like a part of something. Rei came next, pointed at his bandaged hand and offered a rice cake she had baked in secret. Men whistled, women cooed them together, and he reluctantly ate a piece and complimented it before being mashed together with her by the elders.

"It's… exceptional," he told Rei in a whisper. "Thank you."

She smiled in that carefree, almost curious way of hers. "You are welcome, Shinji."

Another loud cheer which made him flinch, and soon after music started blaring from the makeshift stage left of the field. Ryoji embraced Kensuke upon receiving the music player, blushed when Rei offered him a similar treat, and grumbled after Viko placed a blindfold on him and led him to the watermelon field he had been growing in secret.

"Now, I don't know much about your father, but I heard he liked to tend to these." The veil and hat were removed, and for once, Shinji saw Ryoji be completely taken aback. "Happy birthday, little brother."

Hikari tiptoed behind Shinji and placed the wrapped clay figure in his arms. "Time for the final touch. We're counting on you."

He thought of the pirate roundel. How long ago had the voice changed from 'I mustn't run away' to 'earn'?

"Here, this is from Rei, Asuka and me," said Shinji. "Whenever we went fishing, they were always there helping us out." And your mother used to have one as a pet, he mused. His name was Pen-Pen.

Ryoji laughed and shook his head, eyebrow raised at the beer can held in the penguin's flipper. He held the unveiled gift to the crowd with a shaky smile, and gave Shinji a sturdy hug he was thoroughly unable to return.

"You're so lame," he muttered. "All of you, so lame."

Music muted out the whispered words of gratitude from the young Katsuragi, and the feast began. The fermented drinks were the first to be served, followed by generous servings of food, both of which were a rarity. His body moved in automatic while serving meals for everyone, realizing how easy it was to smile to the now familiar faces.

Courage, Shinji whispered to himself over and over. His hand caressed the bandage after he was done helping serve the ocean of hungry attendants. Memories of cooking along with the village members flooded during dinner. They joked and poked fun at him and one another just as they had while preparing he dishes. When he was certain nobody noticed, he added finely sliced portions of each recipe and carefully placed them in a bento.

"Ah, a true feast," Viko sat down next to him at some point in the night, well after the cake had been unveiled and wolfed down. He presented a generous portion of the treat to him. "My brother would be proud."

Something's missing, Shinji mused, and stored away the cake in a large napkin. It's not like that time at Toji's house. Everyone's smiling. They liked the food. Ryoji liked the cake, and the present. Rei is smiling playing with Tsubame. I'm actually enjoying myself, but… something.

"Two hours or so till midnight," the man whispered. The package containing the cups was pushed in Shinji's direction. "Koga extends his apologies yet again."

"Please tell him it's okay, and that I'm sorry to have hit his cousin." The package was carefully stored away. His eyes drifted to the sky, the stars. "Would Ryoji get mad if I left?"

"I think he'd be offended if you didn't." He was pat on the uninjured shoulder twice. Viko gestured towards the trail to the train station. "Say hi to your friend for me."

Many voiced out their 'displeasure' at his early departure. Shinji was slapped around the back by staggering villagers more times than he could count. At one point a very drunk Toji embraced him and almost hoisted him off the ground, held only by a stone sober and visibly displeased Hikari.

Viko's voice and guitar playing muted every other farewell. Shinji realized his singing was incredibly pleasant, and he was gifted in playing the guitar. It made his fingertips itch for the cello strings for the first time in years. The cheers slowly descended to running water, crickets and nocturnal birds.

"Scops owl." The now familiar hoot and scents welcomed him to the house. "Salt water, earth."

He realized Asuka's absence was the reason he had felt uncomfortable and alone. Surrounded by hundreds of smiling acquaintances, friends and all those who refused to raise judgment on him, he missed the one person who constantly glared at him.

"I guess I'm messed up like that," he told the owl. The bird hooted again, eyes glimmering in the moonlight. "Even if she was playing her videogame all the time, or trying to stay in a corner away from everyone… I would've liked to pester her a little with my dumb rambling."

Weariness had begun to set into his bones after dinner. Regardless, Shinji made his way to the forest area.

"No rain today," he whispered, carried water from the stream in a small wooden bowl and provided his and the other saplings with a refreshing drink. "Can't have you guys go thirsty."

The weeds around the peach tree had been removed, something had been trampled on in its vicinity, as well. No leaves taken by insects. Shinji crouched and gently held one of the larger leaves in between his fingertips. The dream resurfaced. Laying down under a tree, a book in his hand, SDAT in his pocket. Beautiful golden locks swaying with the wind.

Still, uncertainty lingered. Nothing short of heartache and struggle awaited regardless of what he chose.

"Enjoy the little moments." Shinji spoke from memory, making his way back to the house. There was something he longed to see again. "Blink and you'll miss them as they pass you by."


"I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh Lord…"

She hummed the piece while her feet dangled off the cot. The novel was boring at best, repetitive and verbose, but had an interesting dark tone that kept her attention. "And I've been waiting for this moment all my life, oh Lord… oh Lord."

Hmm, I wonder how the princess is doing, Mari wondered, and turned to the next page. The song was a cover from a more modern band, one given to her by a starving child bleeding from his hands, chest and back.

Her thoughts drifted to the Second Child. Their cage felt empty without her constant brooding and sarcastic replies. Bet she didn't cut her hair, either. I wonder what kinds of meals she's been having. Well, at least she stopped being mean to the Puppy. Step by step, right?

The comm to Mari's side beeped. Reading the encoded message brought up a pang of concern in her sunny mood. Paris had been a success, the Evas were as operational as they were likely to get, and Gendo Ikari had begun the last stage of his scenario.

Were you better off shutting away the world with those headphones? I wonder. I wonder if you'll wake up, before the end.

In the long years of her unnatural life, nothing had felt so important. Decades of watching 'adults' play around like children, terrified. Whereas the old men fussed over how best to achieve immortality, professor Fuyu's foolish student sought only to see his wife again. Countless days of battling, preparing, all for it to hang in the balance of the coming days.

"Too bad Gendo was blind to the Puppy all this time. Blind to his own fear," she intoned, closing the book. "At times I wonder if it was a bad idea to get him and Yui to talk."

She jumped off the cot and selected another book. The spot where the dictionary used to be was still empty. It made Mari smile; the message had also mentioned the book's use, and juicy information about the Princess devouring meals, fishing, and even smiling.

"Then again, had I not done a little nudging, the Puppy wouldn't exist. And the Princess would be all alone." The desolated wasteland stretched out under her window. "Third Impact was bound to happen, anyway. SEELE would not be stopped, the old men would not be denied. A world covered in red, or a world with nothing but a gigantic yellow soup. Which is the lesser evil, Professor?"

Blackened clouds gathered ahead, where life stuck to the Wanderers and all else withered and disappeared in clouds of crimson dust. Blood rain, freezing cold, famine, death. Was it truly possible to rebuild?

"Of course it is," Mari replied to her own question. "Little by little, step by step. Suddenly you find yourself doing impossible things."

An easy smile danced on her lips despite the adversities to come. Who would have thought the unplanned vacation had brought about such wonderful changes in the tide? Now all we need to do is keep our promise.

The last part of the message was everything the WUNDER required to achieve some form of victory. Her smile morphed into a confident smirk.

"Hope."


"Stupid. Stupid word. Foolish. Idiotic. Pathetic."

An innocent plant was stomped into green mush. Branches laying on the path cracked, rocks were kicked out of the way. Anger flooded her senses, almost blinding her as the image of that brute on top of Shinji had. There was a bitterness as well, one constricting her stomach not unlike the day she had tried to slap Ayanami on the elevator.

"What was I thinking, going there in the first place?" Asuka reprimanded the air, the plants, anything while her hands clenched and pushed into the jacket pockets. The sight of Rei enveloping Shinji in an embrace flashed once more. "Stupid. They can have their party, then."

I shouldn't even have bothered to clear the weeds from that stupid tree. I should just squash it. Like it means anything, like any of it matters at all. All this dumb crap, the dumb little kitchen or those pathetic cups. None of it matters. It never did.

"God damn it, Ayanami," she hissed, viciously stomping another chamomile plant. "Can't even win against one of your half-assed clones. What do I care, anyway?"

Asuka marched into the house and slammed the door shut, lingering around Shinji's corner. She suppressed the instinct to kick away the SDAT, rip the pages off the dictionary, and retrieve both the jacket and the roundel.

"Over a hug? What are you, twelve?" Grumbling in distaste, she took a spoonful of water and collapsed on the mattress. "What do you think?" The angel remained quiet, dormant and uncooperative as always. "Curse of Eva, yeah right. How much more pathetic can this existence get?"

She grasped the plush laying beside the pillow and pressed her knuckles against its face. "Idiot."

You just had to go, didn't you? The Major barked. What did you expect? Somebody to see you? Welcome you into that place with open arms? You, the ageless freak? Disgusting. Sitting there among them, pretending to be just another Lilin is a foolish hope. I'm a pilot. Anything else is empty, insignificant, and a lie. I'll never be enough for them, for anyone. All I am is the Second Child.

The ritual of trying to destroy the doll was old and stale, yet she pointlessly stretched the arms and legs while glaring at it. Once or twice already the fabric had torn. Kensuke repaired the damage when she left, saying nothing, and placed the toy back wherever she had thrown it.

Never had an actual victory, Asuka mused. She relented on her efforts, and held the doll to the ceiling. Not even worth a second glance if you're not the best, and you were never the best. Just another number on the screen, another failed experiment.

"I'd like to talk to you tonight."

"Doesn't matter. His clone wife is about to expire, and then he'll go back to being a broken, feeble brat," the Major concluded. "At least I got to see some backbone for once before it all goes to h-"

"I'm home!"

Freezing in mid-sentence, Asuka stored away the plush toy under the pillow. It's not even midnight yet, she realized. Why the hell is the idiot here so early?

"Uh, Asuka?" Shinji's voice rang from the door. "Hello?"

"Some home this is," she grumbled back from the room, leaning on the doorframe. "What are you doing here so early? Isn't the party supposed to go till sunrise?"

"Yeah, but I never meant to stay so long," he replied. Shinji held up the box in his right hand. Time stopped. The cabin melted into an old schoolroom, the tracksuit and plug suit faded, replaced by their uniforms. He smiled in the same way he had that day. "I brought some dinner. Are you hungry?"

She was glad for the darkness in the room. He never caught her blush. "I'm starving," Asuka rasped, and pointed to the side of the house that oversaw the ocean. "Took you long enough, you idiot."

The sound of waves crashing ashore welcomed them outside. The wind carried random echoes of the festivities and soothed her senses. Her heart still hammered in her ears. She stiffly sat next to Shinji, glare glued to the moon, and pretended not to notice how he took time to arrange the boxes.

There's something in his pocket. Her eye narrowed, then hastily went back to the blood crosses. Bruise didn't swell up, neither did the elbow. Seems to be moving the shoulder well enough.

"You better not have gotten that cut infected." Focusing on the small hug observed from the shadows felt foolish. Rei was still at the party, after all. Asuka huffed. "What's all that crap?"

"A bit of every dish we prepared," Shinji replied. He offered the bento with a familiar smile. Her pulse doubled. "Well… the ones I thought you'd like, anyway."

"Like you'd know," she almost ripped the bento from his hands, which elicited a chuckle. "Doesn't smell that bad. You made all this?"

"I helped," Shinji said. His gaze shifted to the bandage. "I was careful today, too. Changed the bandage before I left."

"Where's yours?" she growled. Her stomach grumbled, mouth salivating. "Hurry it up, let's eat."

Shinji produced a smaller bento and a pair of chopsticks. "Sorry."

"Idiot, stop apologizing." Asuka devoured the first three pieces of sushi, shook her head lightly and forced herself to eat slower. "Not bad, this sushi. No sesame on it."

"Thanks, I'm glad to hear that."

"Whatever."

He's looking skittish. There was stew, sushi, ginger chicken and about three more recipes on her dish, all complementing one another and none too overpowering. She tried to focus on the food. You keep looking over here, then back at your pocket. If you have something to say, just spit it out.

"Uhm, so," as though hearing her thoughts, Shinji cleared his throat. "When's your birthday?"

Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt if someone beside Four Eyes knows. I'm gonna be walking to my funeral soon.

"Don't have one," she stated flatly. "Hmm, chicken's good. Not too spicy, either."

"You don't have a birthday?" Shinji's tone was not of shock, to her dismay. Sadness lingered in his words. "How's that… how come?"

"I wasn't exactly born." Asuka carried on. She tried to muffle out the anger and bitterness, to no avail. "That's why I don't have any parents; I'm basically the result of genetic engineering. Eva is all I was meant to exist for, and since giving me a 'date of creation' was kind of stupid, they didn't."

"All you were meant to exist for?" "Her eyebrows rose as anger began to leak into his words. "Like… Rei?"

"Somewhat," she stole a glance and found his bento laid to the side, forgotten. Her fork poked at one of his sushi pieces. "We were different, a different style of programming if you will. Socialized in a different way, all that crap."

"We?" Fear. It dribbled off that word as he uttered it. "There were… uhm… ho-"

"More, yeah." Asuka emptied her bento and took his. The hunger refused to die out. "More like me. But only one was supposed to get the 'honor' of receiving an actual name."

"How did one… get a name, then?"

And now you're being careful. Heh Good call, idiot. "Survival of the fittest, Shinji," Asuka replied in between bites. She took a long drink of the lemonade he had placed beside the bento. "You don't see other Asukas walking around or piloting an Eva, do you?"

"No, I guess not. I'm… kind of glad it's that way. N-Not to sound insensitive, or anything! I mean I'm glad that… uhm… that I got to meet you, I guess." he was quick to clarify, which earned him a chuckle. "But it sounds like a very lonely life."

"Lonely," she whispered, poking at the last remnants of the meal. Not even half the effort had been put into preparing his dish. "That's a word for it."

They descended into a comfortable silence, disturbed only by the ocean or the random scream of joy. Despite the cold wind brushing against her jacket, Asuka felt warmth and comfort. A small solace.

A small victory. Just one, but at least it's yours.

"When I was growing up," Shinji said after what felt like hours. "I felt invisible. I really didn't understand why I existed in the first place, why I was alive. I did as my tutor ordered, but never really felt I had any… purpose. I never had any friends. Nobody noticed me. No family parties, birthdays, or anything of the sort. Just…"

"Surviving until the next morning," she added. Shinji nodded beside her. "Only to do it all over again."

"After my father told me to come to Tokyo, I thought finally something would change," he said. "Maybe I'd understand why my father abandoned me right after my mother died. Maybe I'd get answers, or maybe someone would notice I was there at all."

Her features relaxed, forcing the mask of anger away. Lonely. Empty. Cold. Yeah, I know a little about that. Apparently do you as well, huh, idiot?

"Misato certainly noticed," Asuka mentioned. "So did her alcoholic bird. Speaking of which, did the Katsuragi spawn like that dumb figurine?"

The sound of his laughter was foreign. She had seldom heard it, if at all. Most of the times Shinji laughed, he was away joking with Ryoji or speaking with Rei. It was soft, and unnaturally soothing.

"He was trying really hard not to cry at one point," Shinji said in between chuckles. "He failed miserably. Called Pen-Pen lame. But… I think he was really happy."

"I thought about what you said about him being lucky," her voice quieted to an extent. "From a certain perspective, you're not totally wrong, Idiot."

Really expected something other than this after telling you where I came from, Asuka thought. Her body felt light, light and lazy. What did I expect? More shock, for one. Disgust, maybe. Pity. I can't put into words how much it pisses me off that you gave me none of these things.

"Getting to know him was sort of a blessing," revealed Shinji. "Well, getting to know everyone. I'm really grateful to you for that."

"What the hell do I have to do with you playing around in the village?" She snapped more out of instinct, and was irked by the way the biting comment didn't faze him. "Last I checked it was Kensuke who took you there."

"You made sure the fever didn't kill me," he replied with a shy smile. His hand massaged the wrist she had injured. "You cleaned this wound. Brought me here, made sure I didn't starve myself. You… gave me the dictionary, batteries for my SDAT, the cap. The roundel."

"Had to find some way to keep my prisoner alive," Asuka snickered. She shook her head and punched Shinji's healthy shoulder with no strength behind it. "You were being a brat, and it was annoying as hell."

"Sorry."

"Ugh. Whatever. And don't thank me again."

"T-I…" He stumbled for words, which broadened her smirk. It was nice to catch him off guard. "Uhm, understood."

Don't thank me when I can see that mark on your wrist, Shinji, her mind whispered. Not when I can still remember you choking on the rations I stuffed down your throat. Don't pretend I wasn't trying to hurt you, as well.

The clock Kensuke had set by the table beeped. Another day scratched away from her impending doom. This is boring, she realized. Neither was speaking much, poking for more details, or recoiling at the information received. It's tremendously boring. I could get used to this.

Asuka heard him fumble with the jacket soon after. Nervousness began to come off him in waves, she saw him drop whatever he'd been hiding in his pocket twice. Shinji cleared out his throat again, and stared at anything but her.

"So, it's past midnight," Shinji started, hesitant. "I've… never even had a birthday, myself. The cap was the first birthday present I ever got. And if you like, since you don't have one of your own," he pushed a finely decorated wooden box towards her. "Maybe you can have today. I-I'd remember it."

"What nonsense are you talking about now?" Asuka demanded while inspecting the box. It was crafted from what smelled like oak, irregular and not quite efficient when closing without the metal lid. Inside, two ceramic cups rested. "Are these supposed to be sake cups or something?"

"Yeah." she heard him bite down on his own jaw to cease the stuttering. "I… don't have any on me, though. We're still underage."

"We? Pfft, yeah right." Scoffing at the strange reply, she lifted each and analyzed them under the moonlight. One was painted blue, white and red, and the other was a depiction of her pirate insignia, albeit with one small difference. "Where's the eyepatch?"

Shinji almost dropped whatever plate he was preparing behind her, yet refused to answer.

She rolled her eye. "Fine, not like it matters. So, what am I supposed to do with these if I'm underage, as you say, Idiot?"

"I thought it could be like a promise," he replied. Her pulse quickened yet again. "A promise that I'll… see my punishment through, whatever it is. And that we'll drink from these in a few years. M-Maybe to name the tree, you know?"

"Heh." Asuka smiled, and since he seemed so fond of them, she offered it to him. Even under the dim light it was easy to see his face flush. "A promise. What a stupid thing to give to somebody," she said. "Fine, then. You better pull off something better than two tiny cups for next year."

"N-Next year?"

"Isn't that the point of a birthday?"

"Right! I'll… do some research on more recipes," he offered between stutters. His uncertainty was not unpleasant, for once. Instead, she found it endearing. "How about a part-"

"No way in hell. Think of something better."

"I will! I'll try my best."

And she believed him. Her back relaxed against the wood. "Will you, now?"

They talked through the night, just as he had requested they do. Asuka glared at the cake as though it had insulted her, and he beamed as she ate and demanded half of his portion. All too soon the sky began to clear.

Despite his efforts to remain awake, the curse had not entirely set in Shinji's body. His head lolled on her shoulder after the sun rose. He was about to fall over and smack his skull against the floor when she carefully guided his head to her lap.

"Consider this payment for the gift, and nothing else," Asuka muttered into the morning of her very first birthday. "Idiot."

To Be Continued


Inspirational Music: Question!, BYOB, Hypnotize, Lonely Day, Aerials – System of a Down; Take a Look Around, Boiler – Limp Biskit; Given Up, New Divide, Papercut, Pushing Me Away – Linkin Park; All Nightmare Long (live in Mexico), For Whom The Bell Tolls, That Was Just Your Life, Cyanide, Disposable Heroes, Through The Never – Metallica; The Grudge, Lateralus, Sober – Tool; Tangelo, Black Summer, Scar Tissue – RHCP, Unchained Melody- Mike Yung.

AN: My eternal gratitude to my brothers MisterHalt, Pilot_Fair and Su_Exodus for their feedback, time and support polishing this chapter! Thank you so much, you legends! Thank you to my beautiful wife for her constant love and support, and to everyone who's been with me on this journey so far!

I hope this was worth the read! Wanted to extend the Village arc as much as possible, and wanted to get some things going that I've been planning on for a while. Hope it works! Anyhow. I can't thank you enough for taking the time to read this! Thank you so much! Any feedback, ideas on where to improve, incongruences, OOC-ness, please let me know! Feel free to leave a review on your way out!

Remember to stay healthy, eat your veggies, and sit back to enjoy the little moments! Blink, and you'll miss them as they pass you by!

PEACE.