AN: I made dis. I sorry if sucks.
Redemption Song
Chapter Eight: Misty Morning
Gulls and terns sang their hunger into the sky.
Salt, wet soil and LCL welcomed him back to consciousness. Another scent, something familiar and comforting filtered through, and instantly Shinji's eyes opened. The military jacket Asuka wore slid off his shoulders, forcing a shiver as the ocean breeze filtered through.
"Damn it," he grumbled. Asuka was nowhere in sight, yet her scent continued to envelop him. "You fell asleep after your one chance. Stupid curse, what good is it if it can't keep me awake for one freaking night?"
The red jacket rested where he assumed his head had been. Something… on my hair, he thought, still half-asleep. I don't remember dozing off. I don't remember bringing that jacket out here. And this; his fingers clutched the green fabric with vehemence. The last thing I remember was telling Asuka I wanted to try baking something again, and then…
A yawn made its way out of his chest, and as Shinji's hand traced down his hairline, a memory resurfaced. Soft, warm hands delicately massaging his scalp, scratching on occasion and drawing lazy circles through his hair.
"Was that a dream?" he wondered out loud. "If it was, why did it have to end?"
The sensation washed over with the second gush of wind, as though it had happened minutes before he awoke. A tiny smile brightened his weary features. Judging by the temperature and the sun's position in the sky, it was close to noon. How long had it been since he had last slept so soundly?
"Well, there's that fourteen-year long nap," Shinji reprimanded himself and carefully folded the military coat. "Now the early hours are gone and there's still so much to do-"
"Ugh, give it a rest," Asuka's voice snapped from behind. Shinji's jaw hinged closed. "The entire adult population of this place is nursing a terrible hangover, Kensuke included." She walked over and retrieved the coat from the ground. "Have a freaking day off, you idiot."
I don't deserve a day off. I haven't earned it. The smile died with a single glance at the crimson extending far beyond the ocean. If yesterday proves anything, is how little I've accomplished. I have to try harder.
Asuka's hand slapped the top of his head, fingers pressing hard into his scalp. "I said have a day off," she repeated with a commanding tone. Shinji gulped. "Did I stutter? If you're so hell-bent on doing something, go make some food. I'm starving."
"You are?" he asked in awe. Excitement instantly bubbled and spread to Shinji's limbs. He was on his feet in seconds, and almost darted to the greenery. "Just a second!"
The rush of preparing a proper breakfast deprived him of Asuka's half-smirk and derisive chuckle. However, once the wood kitchen was set ablaze and eggs sizzled in his pan, she sat by the table and spared him the occasional glance. Instead of anger, he sensed curiosity clouding her sharp gaze, almost as if she was expecting him to act or speak to her differently.
Oh, Shinji realized just before the meal started to burn. She probably never talks about her past. Maybe she expected something else? It doesn't make any difference at all. Asuka is Asuka.
"Nothing, huh," she rasped, as though reading his mind. "You puked after seeing me naked, but have no reaction to me being some ageless clone bred for war."
Desperately crushing the urge to ask if it had been her hands on his head the night before, Shinji tried to smile. He placed a healthy portion of eggs, bread and rice beside her. A knuckle brushed Asuka's arm, and no punch, snarl, or glare came his way.
"Sorry," uttered Shinji on instinct, and pointed to his neck. "It was the collar."
"Was it? I never imagined," she replied with a roll of her eye. "Retching was sort of what I expected, though."
She expected me to vomit after hearing about her past? The comment stung like Ramiel's blast, and shone a completely new light on Asuka. All the sudden, it was clear as day to him. She looks so alone.
"I guess without your life being the way it was, you wouldn't be the person I met," he said, enunciating each word carefully. "I'm sorry you had to go through such a life, but it's part of who you are, Asuka."
A scowl obscured the girl's features after trying the meal. "You say it like it's a good thing, who I am. What I am."
But I like who you are. The thought made Shinji's face brighten once more, as memories from the day before resurfaced. For someone so strong and ruthless, Asuka had shown she also had the capacity to be indescribably tender. A lot.
"Without you being who you are, I'd probably not be here, right now," Shinji replied. The scar on his wrist came into view, so he ran his thumb across it. "You've been fighting for so long. Who knows how many times you've saved everyone, already."
"Not like there's a whole lot to save," Asuka rebutted, albeit without any anger or spite. She was not blaming him for anything, merely pointing out the sorry state of the world. "It's what I was made for. Never really had much of a choice."
She's still sharing details about her life with me. Joy continued to dance in his chest, and many times he fought to not smile like a fool. Telling me about her. Its like I'm still dreaming.
"You had the choice to let me die, and nobody would've minded," Shinji whispered, eyes downcast. He gripped at his wrist, recalling the many times Asuka had seen to the wound. "But you didn't. You're the first person who's ever-" he hesitated, thinking of Misato and Kaworu. "-cared."
"Shut up." Asuka snapped, and he instantly ducked his head lower. Shinji failed to catch the strain in her voice, but caught a glance of her looking away with a slight pink coloring on her cheeks. "Stop spewing nonsense."
"Can I offer a definition, instead, then?" he asked. Asuka raised a curious eyebrow. "It's a word I found yesterday."
"You and your dumb little words," was her nonchalant reply. "Go on, then."
Help. Build. Earn. Make her smile. "Steadfast," Shinji stated. "Resolutely or dutifully firm and unwavering."
The hairs on his nape stood to no end when no immediate reaction came. All it would take was one wrong step for the glass between them to reappear. Relief flooded his senses once a grunt echoed through the room.
"Heh." Asuka shook her head and concealed her eye under the hoodie. However, he caught the slight curvature of her lips. "What do you know, anyway?"
Not nearly enough, and not as much as I'd like to, he mused while fiddling with breakfast. The hidden message between her words filtered through. She didn't hate the word.
They ate in what became a comfortable silence afterwards, daring the occasional glance that ended with both darting their gazes away. Time and time again, the phantom touch from the dream returned. Asuka's voice, softer with each passing hour as she devoured the cake, easing the uncertainty and guilt.
Shinji's hand went to his hair and started playing with the overgrown locks. He never realized it, nor did he catch Asuka's eye going wide with surprise, or her face heating up.
"Ugh," Kensuke groaned from the floor. The man dragged himself along on all fours and collapsed on the table's surface. "Never again."
"That's what you get for drinking that poison," Asuka provided with a smirk. "Hey, Idiot. Watch this."
A loud clap rang across the room. Kensuke withered in agony and covered his ears. However, he recovered miraculously fast once the plate full of greasy breakfast was placed before him.
"If there's a God, may he bless you forever," he told Shinji with a dreamy gaze, then dug into the food. "Oh, yes."
Deja-vu, Shinji thought, and began to wash the dishes. Reminds me of those few mornings in Misato's house. Hikari's own explanation of a certain word resurfaced. Home; the place where we feel most comfortable, loved, and protected.
"Make sure not to puke that out, limited resources and all that." Asuka snapped. She walked over to where her jacket lay, then pointed at the door. "It's past midday," she told Shinji. "I don't feel like spending the day in a house that smells of vomit and cheap wine."
She wants to go out? Really? Panic and uncertainty slammed against Shinji's consciousness. After a few deep, even breaths, he realized this was yet another chance. "There's a new row of saplings Ryoji wanted to plant next to the watermelon field," he offered. "I can make us a light lunch to go. It'll be a few minutes, though."
"I'm not getting my hands muddy, idiot." Instead of reaching for the handheld, Asuka crossed her arms and leaned on the doorframe. "Get on with it, then."
Once more, the true meaning of her words sunk in without difficulty. Being outside in the presence of other villagers made her uncomfortable, and yet she was willing to endure it, if only once.
Earn, Shinji. Work. Build. Struggle. Grow. Make Asuka smile.
His hands steadied whilst preparing the bentos, his mind clear and somewhat sharp. The breeze made Asuka's hair dance and shine under the sunlight.
"Conviction," Shinji whispered. "A firmly held belief or opinion."
"Hmm, it's cute how she glowers at Rei, right?"
Ryoji snickered at Hikari's remark, which only solidified her stance on the unique interaction taking place before them. It had taken the younger Kaji no less than five minutes to forsake his responsibility to Rei and Shinji. The surprise had been seeing Major Shikinami sit in the shade and throw the occasional glare at the duo.
"She gave me an earful when Shinji started helping," Ryoji added. "You'd think at this point they'd just be honest with each other, right?" He pointed to the barrier. "I mean, what's there to lose? It's like Viko says. Life is so fleeting, you should never waste time on lies."
"They are being honest, in their own way," schooled Hikari with a slight frown. Boys, always so blind. "Some people just need more time to build bridges of communication. Imagine how hard it was for her."
A shrug was thrown her way, and a scowl darkened Ryoji's features. "Yeah, right. She treated him like crap for a while."
"She does that with everyone," Hikari countered with ease. "In her own way, she's taken care of him more than any of us."
"Bet it must feel weird for her, too, being the talk of the town." Ryoji stretched and brushed the dust off his pants. "Everyone's rooting for them."
Rei tripped over some of the overgrown weeds just as Ryoji returned to the field. Even from afar, it was easy to spot Asuka turning her head away in a huff when Shinji offered his hand and helped the young clone to her feet. Jealous much, Asuka? Heh, maybe I'll get a chance to tease you at last, after all these years.
The sun was setting under their tranquil day. Silence stretched over the village and Shinji smiled often, sometimes without realizing it. Asuka's posture relaxed with every passing hour. Even at a sizable distance, they set each other at ease.
"All those nights you were looking up there, at the sky," Hikari whispered. Her motherly gaze softened once Asuka marched towards the teens, and pushed a bottle of cold lemonade in Shinji's hands. "You held onto those few moments for so long. I'm glad you finally have a chance to make new ones."
Over in the field, Asuka dug the shovel into the dry earth a few times. She half stuck one of the seedlings in the hole, then made no effort to cover it with fresh dirt or fertilizer, so Shinji crouched and finished the work. The way Asuka positioned herself strategically between Shinji and Rei was almost too telling.
Step by step, little by little, she mused under the shade. Suddenly you find yourself doing impossible things. Isn't that right, Shinji?
Asuka offered her hand and hoisted Shinji to his feet once the last seedling was watered. Somehow, Hikari felt at ease, as though their broken world had a fighting chance at long last.
Isn't that right, Asuka?
"Wrong. Sesame seeds are salty. I don't see the point to them."
"Just because you don't like them doesn't mean the world shares your opinion."
"Then, the world is wrong. What do you know about anything, you purple haired brat?"
"I know about botany! And about music, and literature, and art. I know about mechanics, electronics, I'm learning a second language, and-
"Yeah, yeah. Hey, idiot. This isn't so bad."
"Thank you, Asuka! How does yours taste, Rei?"
"Delightful."
"I'm glad you like it."
"Needs some seasoning, this one."
Ryoji resisted the urge to either burst out laughing or intervene to poke fun at the trio. Shikinami showing up had come as no surprise; she trailed Shinji's footsteps like a bloodhound on most days. His jaw had almost slacked open after she picked a shovel that day, nonetheless.
"I brought a bit, actually. Here." Shinji said.
"Heh, being a waiter again, huh. Eat."
"But that's your bento, Asuka. It's okay, I brought a few ration-"
"I wasn't asking. Breakfast was hefty enough, I'll manage till the night. Eat."
"Maybe Ikari-kun is full, himse-"
"Didn't ask you, either, Rei. I'm not saying it again, Shinji. You know the alternative."
"Uhm, thank you for the food, Asuka."
"Why are you thanking me? You're the one who cooked the stupid meal."
I guess miracles are possible, after all. Ryoji thought.
The penguin figurine came to mind. Shinji had told him Asuka also extended her good wishes through it, even though she had likely not helped in the slightest in its manufacturing. Any attempts to ask Shikinami about the Wunder's elusive Captain was either ignored or shut down instantly. It only fueled his curiosity and solidified his resolve to climb on the damned ship.
I wonder if my mother likes penguins, he thought next. Well, soon enough I'll get to ask her face to face. Do you like penguins? What is your stance on lemonade? Was my father really a hero? Why were you mean to Shinji? Why did you abandon me? Am I just not good enough?
As usual, the comforting words of his guardian easily brought the smile back. Even if his mother rejected him again, Viko would always be there. "Hey, Shinji," he said, catching the small group off guard. "What does 'Pen' mean? The thing you wrote on my present. Is it just an abbreviation for penguin?"
Shinji gave him a sad smile, Rei blinked in surprise and Asuka scowled at the ground.
"When I arrived in Tokyo 3, I was made to stay with your mother, Misato," Shinji started. He exchanged a glance with the redhead, who only shrugged in return. "She had a pet penguin, his name was Pen-pen. He was kind of like the ones who help us fish. Had a very… unique personality."
"Dumb bird also drank beer," Asuka ground out. "A trick our great Captain surely taught him."
"Pfft, beer?" Ryoji chuckled more due to Rei's confused expression than the image of a penguin consuming alcohol. "Sounds like it was a fun place."
"According to the idiot, it was a mess," Asuka retorted. "Trash everywhere, empty cans and bottles, fast food containers on the floor and floating on the bathtub at times. She was lucky Shinji tidied up before I arrived."
Both him and Shinji burst out laughing, and even Rei giggled lightly. Ryoji noticed color rise to the Major's face before she hid her expression under the hoodie. Did she just make a joke? More miracles, huh. The thought made him chortle harder. Maybe it'll start raining people, dogs and fertile soil next.
"It was also very fun," Shinji mentioned, looking up at the sky. "Misato loved to tease, and she laughed all the time. She also drove like a crazy person."
"Meh, the last part hasn't changed, just ask the crew." More laughter, to which Asuka crossed her arms. "Terrible driver if I've ever seen one. Not a lousy captain, though, all things considered."
Oh.
For once in his entire life, somebody other than Viko or Kensuke spoke to Ryoji of his mother. They both seemed fond of her, even Shinji. Even after his mother placed a collar that could decapitate him at any given moment, twice, he still spoke of her with care and longing.
"Thanks, you guys," he blurted out, not realizing how alike his mother he looked then. "Glad to know some of my natural charm came from her, after all."
"Some charm, brat," Asuka muttered, yet he caught the small growl of mirth that escaped her. "Whatever. Hey, idiot," she turned to Shinji. "Didn't she pick you up during the first Angel attack?"
"Uh, yeah. A few hours later I was piloting Unit 01. That day is really a fog."
"A few hours. So, what I heard was true. You had no training whatsoever before that day, did you?"
"No, none. But if I didn't pilot, then my father would have forced Ayanami to do it. She was brought out on a stretcher; her arm was in a cast and everything. I… I couldn't let her do that."
Rei's eyes perked at the mention of her predecessor. She had stayed quiet throughout the entire afternoon, keen on observing everything, giggling on occasion whenever either pilot felt embarrassed, and enjoying the bentos Shinji had brought. Ah, I get it, Rei. It's fun to see them talk, isn't it? Something about it puts my mind at ease, like when Viko sings.
"Typical of Gendo Ikari," Asuka hissed. Curious, how she held more resentment towards the madman than Shinji. "Fulfill the scenario by whatever means necessary. Tch, it's a wonder you managed to survive."
"I didn't do anything," Shinji responded quietly. "Unit 01 went berserk and killed that Angel."
"Uh huh." Asuka's tone took Ryoji by surprise. "Unit 01 didn't go berserk with the next one, though. Had you not piloted the Eva, this dumb village would be minus a dumb commander and a half-assed physician. According to the official report, anyway."
Is she… complimenting him? Ryoji's jaw almost slackened at the realization. Like, complementing his piloting? Her? Didn't she have a grudge against it or something?
"Well, I didn't really have much of a choice, since Toji and Kensuke snuck out of the shelter," Shinji looked down at his hand. "Suddenly I open my eyes and they're both just feet from being crushed by Unit 01's fingers."
"Miss Hikari would not approve of such behavior," Rei noted, which elicited more laughs from both youngsters, and a derisive growl from Asuka. "She appeared very displeased with her husband this morning."
"Well, he almost died in both situations. Did you see how much he drank last night? Guy was plastered." Ryoji said. He tossed a ripe pear to each and stretched. Asuka caught it midair, Shinji panicked and dropped it, whereas Rei did not react at all. Her pear landed just beside her feet. "Anyway, I promised Koga I'd help with some chores. See you guys around. Thanks for the help! Five new trees to name in four years!"
Asuka shrugged, Shinji shook his hand and Rei gave him a sunny smile.
Quick on his feet, Ryoji sprinted back to Hikari, said his goodbyes and left for home. Every step he took solidified his resolve. The villagers were gathering more supplies than usual. If some final battle was about to ensue, he would see his mother at least once before it all ended.
The Wunder would land soon. His chance was finally at hand.
"I'll be right back, quick stop and go," he told one of the younger watermelons, and pretended it was his guardian. "Just one glance, once conversation. Two questions. That's all I want. You won't even notice I'm gone."
"You think I wouldn't catch it?"
Shinji flinched under her stern gaze, but did not shy away when Asuka snatched his hand and began prodding around his elbow and shoulder blade. She caught three small hisses near the more noticeable bruises. No swelling or infection lingered anywhere.
"The bandage fell off," he revealed. "But I made sure to wash the cuts like you said. They don't sting or anything."
"Is that so," Asuka replied, tone flat. She took the opportunity to glimpse at the scar around Shinji's wrist. "You were looking at your arm after that last stupid plant. Told you to stop digging holes."
"Sorry."
"Ugh. Idiot."
Asuka rolled her eye and finished her 'examination'. The sky was already ridden with stars by the time they walked back to the house. Good riddance, she thought. No way in hell I'm helping that useless four-eyes after the crap he pulled yesterday. Tch, even went and got drunk afterwards. Pathetic.
"Thank you," Shinji muttered after a while, which only earned him a disgruntled grunt. "There's still lots of leftovers from the party, I'll make us some dinner."
"Good." She stopped mid-step and grabbed Shinji's shoulder. "What are you thanking me for?"
Not shrinking under her glare as usual, Shinji offered a timid half-smile. "For coming along today and helping out in the field. The day flew by without me noticing."
"Don't blame your foggy little mind on me. Not my fault you can't tell the time," Asuka retorted, then pointed at the clearing. "Your dumb tree seems to be doing well enough."
"You have a few of your own, now," Shinji said. "Have you thought of any names?"
"Heh. Not happening. I never said I'd partake in that foolish tradition."
He walked next to her, and was not at all discouraged by her words. Pisses me off, the Major barked in discomfort. Just stay away like everybody else! Stop making me feel uneasy! Despite the protestations, relief washed over Asuka instead of anger or mistrust. Akin to that night years before, it felt like they could be lonely together.
They arrived to a muted house aside from Kensuke's loud snores. Minutes later, wood was smoldering outside, and hot coals were being shoved into the home-made stove. Asuka lay in bed and played with the WonderSwan while the food warmed. More than once her eye drifted to the closet, where the small plush toy sat.
When did he get so quick at doing all those chores? Cooking and cleaning I get. Old muscle memory and whatnot. But making fires, planting trees? Asuka thought, increasingly distracted. Saw him glancing at the clay pieces, it wouldn't surprise me if he starts rebuilding those malformed cups of his.
For the first time in many years, she lost four games in a role. The timer stopped ticking, and something close to drowsiness encroached her awareness. Her fingers moved in circles around the handheld's buttons instead of pressing them with unnecessary force. A blister had burst near her thumb while working. Shinji had been the one to see the small blood stain on the shovel. Seeing him dash towards Hikari and return with a piece of cloth and water had almost made her laugh out loud.
Wrinkled as it was, the improvised bandaged had held and ran across her thumb like a ring. The idiot's hands had shaken throughout the entire ordeal. All that fuss for a tiny blister. I don't think he realizes I almost cost him a hand with that infected wound.
Remnants of the night before washed over. Ocean breeze, shade, and Shinji's deep, even breathing beside her. Warmth of another body, soft, overgrown brown locks caught in her hands. Hesitant half-smirks, growing gentler by the day. Deep blue eyes gazing at her with admiration, care and longing.
The device beeped. 'YOU LOST! PLAY AGAIN? Y/N'
A few knocks on the door announced supper was ready, so she turned off the WonderSwan and tossed it aside with little care. As they ate and she threw the occasional jab that made him chuckle, Asuka counted each time Shinji reached for his head. His eyes would grow distracted, closed on occasion as his features unwound.
Her chest began to ache and constrict after the plate was empty, and Shinji tried again to engage in conversation. He spoke of the chores that awaited the next day. He shared the concern for the Idiot Tree being ravaged by insects or rainfall, and ultimately confirmed her suspicions of wishing to repair the broken cups, or craft new ones if necessary.
"Your annoying bird friends must be wondering where you went," Asuka said after dinner. "They're used to seeing you every day."
"I'm pretty sure they've taken a liking to you, as well," Shinji answered. "The leader sat next to you at lunch last time."
They moved outside the house like before, only for some reason, it was her who started combating the sudden urge to close her eyes. So tired, Asuka thought, slightly alarmed. All I did was go outside and plant some stupid trees. Hell, I sat under the shade for most of it. What is this?
"He just wanted to snack on my lunch. Creepy bird." Asuka shook her head in a vain attempt to clear it. "Stands next to you sometimes like a dog, it's weird."
"Maybe he just wants a friend." Tired as she felt, she caught the change in Shinji's tone. "Being lonely is awful."
"Can't be lonely if it's surrounded by its own kind, can it?" she argued, yet blinked at the irony of her own statement. "Eh, suppose it can. Awful, huh." A surge of bitterness ran through her. "Guess it's so awful than even someone like me can pass up for decent company, then."
It boiled within; anger, desperation, sadness, hope, and longing bled out the moment Asuka's strength began to wane. She wanted more time, only a little bit. A small do-over. Fantasies. Who would want more time with her?
"I don't understand." Shinji ventured after a moment. "Someone like you?"
A freak, Shinji. Asuka thought with every bit of misery coiling in her core. A soldier. An ageless half-breed clone incapable of being gentle or even human. "I'm not exactly Hikari, with her boundless positive energy, much less Toji with his naïve, boastful self. I'm not Kensuke, with his dumb optimism. I'm not your precious little clone, Rei. If you're feeling so lonely, maybe you just go to people who can help you with that."
Yeah, get away. It's all for nothing, in the end. Like we've ever had a chance, like we're ever going to win this never-ending war. Go enjoy what little time you have left with that girl who likes you so much.
"Actually," Shinji said. He offered a small, hesitant smile. "I'm not feeling lonely, right now."
The next harsh remark died on her lips. Me neither, you idiot. That's why I'm trying to break it, because it's not going to last anyway. How about being the dumb little brat again?
Instead, the 'brat' in question took a deep breath and reduced the distance between them by a few millimeters. "Hikari's always happy, but I can see the lines under her eyes," he said. "Toji stays strong mostly because he has to. So many people depend on him keeping a level mind. And Kensuke… he molded himself into the leader the village wanted. I bet it's exhausting."
"What does any of that have to do with your idiotic self being lonely?" Asuka demanded.
"I…" Shinji gulped and avoided eye contact as he spoke. "Sometimes even if I'm with them, I feel alone. Does that happen to you?"
Touché.
"More or less," she admitted. "You look content enough around Misato's spawn."
"Yeah," Shinji scratched at his head. Her eye narrowed at the way he curled the locks in between his fingers. "Even then, though. Sometimes that hollow feeling comes out of nowhere and swallows everything else."
"Like wave after wave," Asuka added with a nod. "Drowning out everything else."
Kensuke's company was appreciated, but it never did much to quench the thirst gnawing at her insides without reprieve. Mari was the same, regardless of how much effort the bespectacled woman put into trying to connect with her.
"I could be in the ration center with everyone, or listening to Ryoji's jokes, and then," Shinji's gaze drifted to the stars. "I'm curled up in the entry plug. Kaworu just exploded in my face. I'm completely alone."
"And at which point does the proverbial me come and kick you to the side?" she asked with a hint if bemusement.
"Pretty much right away, on most occasions," acknowledged Shinji with a nod and a chuckle. "A few weeks ago, though," he looked down at the scar on his wrist with something akin to affection. "You had to literally beat some sense into me or shake me out of it. People could be talking to me, and I wouldn't listen. I don't know, but ever since that day in the cell… your voice came through."
"Chew," she heard her own voice break again. "Please."
"Whatever, you're rambling nonsense again." Asuka dismissed the memory and rubbed at her eye. "So you don't feel lonely around me because I poured disinfectant on a cut I gave you and shoveled a couple of food rations down your throat? Don't you find that a little messed up?"
"Not really," Shinji replied. His nonchalance to her cutting words was infuriating in the most endearing of ways. "You're Asuka," he said. "Eva piloting aside, you're sort of the most interesting person I've ever met. Being around you is… really nice."
A loud click rang through the air when Shinji forced his jaw shut. They sat close enough to one another that she felt the shift in his weight. He did not pull away, however. Nice, huh. You're still so fidgety, Asuka thought. Like I'm about to hit you at any given chance. Eh, not entirely your fault I suppose.
Exhaustion was surely the reason why her head came to rest on Shinji's shoulder. "It is?" she rasped, uncaring of how little, or incredulous she sounded. "You'd be the first person to think so. I've never been good enough at anything I was designed to be."
It was not sleep, not truly. She was conscious the entire time, but somehow Asuka's muscles unwound and her mind stilled. No timer ran to zero in her brain. Shinji barely moved for hours as she dozed and unconsciously curled closer.
Somewhere in the night one of Shinji's hands found its way to her hair. Cautious to not disturb her, he slowly let his fingers thread through the tresses and gently massage her scalp, as she'd done the night before.
"You're Asuka," Shinji repeated in the early morning. "That'll always be enough."
"It'll never be enough."
Misato's head banged against the steel table of her chamber. The glass of watered-down rum slipped left and right along with the vessel, occasionally finding its way to her hand. She sloshed down the content and refilled it at every chance. With about four to five 'nights' left to indulge, the crew had taken to emptying the alcohol reserves in celebration.
Only Ritsuko came with a glass of actual sake she kept hidden, and toasted to her son's health with her.
"Pfft, two broken down Evangelions, a completely useless one, and the corpse of an old monster," she slurred, drank and refilled. "Going against the Devil himself, who's armed to the teeth with an army of awakened Evas, and his own little god-like machine. What a joke."
The empty chair opposite to Misato only broadened the wretchedness rotting her chest. Kaji would sit there at times, before his life ended, and give her that calm smirk of his. Their child had seen yet another year on this earth without even knowing what she looked like, or who she was.
"Better that way," she argued with the non-existent guest. "After the way I behaved with Shinji, the way I'm forced to treat Asuka and Mari like fighting dogs, kept in a cage until I have need of them…" Nausea made her world spin worse than the turbulent weather. "I can't even get justice for his father, or ensure he grows up in a world that isn't dying."
A few feet away, the trigger to the DSS chokers mocked her further.
"He's Shinji's age, already, can you believe that?" As usual, ghost Kaji had no answer. "I told a boy my son's age that everything was his fault, and left him to rot in a cell. What would our son think about that?"
I bet they've become friends, her mind provided with her husband's voice. Shinji's not the type to badmouth anyone. If anything, he'll probably try to paint you in a positive light!
"I know," Misato grumbled. A sob broke through her, followed by a stream of unwanted tears. "I don't deserve his kindness. I don't deserve to see my son… not until I do at least one thing right."
You have to believe in them, that's all. Kaji smiled and leaned forward, catching her cheek in his hand. Even Shinji. Have hope in them, and they'll guide you to victory. They'll guide you back to our son.
Her lip shook with vehemence. "Shinji," she saw the look of utter betrayal again, followed by the dead stare he had brought back to the ship. "I'm sorry."
Discontent ran wild in the crew as of late. Many wished to see the Village only so they could hunt Shinji down and use him as some sort of leverage against his father. She had laughed with plenty bitterness upon hearing the proposal. Gendo Ikari would skin his son alive with a spoon if it meant his admission would come true.
Others were convinced the Third Child represented everything they fought against. They wore a green rag signaling their belief in a green world, one where Shinji was no longer a threat that covered the world in red waste. Toji's little sister was not with them, but shared the sentiment that the boy was a liability and a hazard. They'd surely argue if by some freak accident the need to use the purple Eva arose.
Tch, as if the world being as it is was his fault at all. Great job at expressing that sentiment when Unit 01 spat him out, Katsuragi. Remember how you were cheering him on, fourteen years ago? You filthy hypocrite. Asuka's always been right.
"Pilot the Eva, don't pilot the Eva." Misato threw the glass against the wall and held her head in her hands. "It's all your fault, and at the same time, it's not. Don't do anything, but don't just sit there and die either." She sighed in derision. "Ryoji's better off. I'd be a terrible parent."
The last few were Mari, her old tech crew, Ritsuko, and two to three other weird sailors who held some blind belief in victory. According to the latest reports, Shinji had cultivated a small group of sympathizers in the ship, and had been basically adopted by Village 3.
If I could only give you one victory. Just once, let you both live your lives in peace. How can I look my son in the eye, knowing I dragged a boy his age to this mess, then blamed him for it?
"Ugh, that's the way to start the morning," Misato muttered to the empty chamber, and took a swig of stale, recycled water. "Isn't that right, Pen-Pen?"
Her feet dragged without much coordination when she got up to glare through the hatch. The broken remnants of Earth glared back, as though exasperated with her limited resources, continued defeats, and bitterness.
The sickness came over her without warning.
Rei convulsed and fell to the floor next to Tsubame, barely conscious enough to miss the crib by a few inches as she fell. Her head bounced on the ground, but by that point the visions were so intense that pain stopped being processed.
Lilith glared down as she always did, with a curtain of crimson at all sides. Her sisters stood in an empty room, unmoving, waiting to die at their creator's whim. Every cell in her body rebelled and sought to escape, to disintegrate into nothing. Agony kicked in at last, mingled with what she had learned was called despair. Her body struggled to keep itself together, while the timer in the plugsuit slowly reached zero.
By sheer luck, the violent shaking made one of the last syringes fall close to Rei's hand. With whatever reason left, she stuck the needle into her neck. The fluid coursed through her corroding bloodstream and brought it to some level of stasis.
Long after the episode passed, she remained on the ground and stared at the carpeted floor. It did not hurt, not in the way Shinji's injuries did. If anything, she was becoming numb to everything but her emotions.
The shuffling and shaking woke Tsubame. The baby stared with those big, innocent eyes so alike her own. Soon, she would be but a faded memory in the youngest Horaki's mind, a ghost who had once walked through their household and basked in their company, only to fade away into thin air.
"Perhaps the Idiot Tree will grow so large it will provide shade," she whispered to Tsubame, who gurgled in delight. "And they will sit under it and enjoy each other's company. I… only wanted to be near him, forever. Being close would have sufficed."
Only two more syringes remained. Just enough to see her through a couple of days, just enough to see the Wunder land.
"I understand this was a preordained purpose for me, but I am at peace with it," Rei revealed while the baby pulled on her hair. "I just wish I had more time to be with the boy I liked."
She went about the day as normal, made her best attempt at cooking the rice puddings Shinji had complimented, and smiled whenever Hikari 'teased' her. She visited the fields in the afternoon, realizing she'd not be able to collect the harvest, or watch as the trees she and Asuka had planted grew.
"Do not dwell on bad thoughts, or think on the future," Rei recited whilst walking towards the ruins, where Shinji and the penguins surely awaited. "Every moment counts. Every smile, every meal."
The makeshift kitchen had been repaired to an extent. The dark stains on the Second Child's attire indicated she had 'soiled her hands in mud', and mended the damage as best she could. Shinji seemed apprehensive, almost shy around her.
He is surprised, and does not know how to express his gratitude, Rei thought. My feelings are similar, you have given me so much, already.
"Here, eat," Asuka pushed a crudely made cup in her direction. "Porridge, or whatever was left of it from the party. No meat, and not a word about this to anyone."
"May I assist with repairs tomorrow?" Rei asked instead. She took the offered meal and presented her own contribution. "I would like to try to make a cup, as well."
"Of course, Rei," Shinji murmured. "This tastes great! I was planning on rebuilding a little, as well. I'd love some help."
The sun was warm against her skin, the breeze cool and pleasant. She felt complete sitting there, offering the sporadic comment and observing Asuka begrudgingly become less guarded. Shinji did not stray behind. There was a quiet strength to him lately, a kindling fire in his eyes.
"This is pleasant," Rei announced. The displeasure coursing through her body dissipated, consumed by happiness. "It is good to have… friends."
Shinji blushed and mumbled something incoherent. Asuka fixed her with a glare, but she easily saw the smile hiding underneath.
The penguin leader chose to sit by her that evening. It squeaked at her, as though in approval.
"Heads up!"
The pack of batteries flew through the air and landed safely in Shinji's hands, followed by two packs of rations.
Kensuke smirked at how quickly they were caught. Faster reflexes, gets up earlier than I do nowadays, keeps soldering on at the fields, the center and his fishing station. Didn't have the energy to move or eat when he arrived, and now he's tireless. How about that, Shikinami?
"Thanks, Kensuke!" Shinji jogged back to the house and loaded another sack of seeds on the Suzuki. "How'd you know?"
"I didn't," he admitted with ease, stealing a glance at the door to ensure no redhead was glowering at him. "The Major demanded I pass the package along. Wouldn't want to get her madder."
"Is she still not talking to you?"
The question brought about a few barks of laughter as they climbed into the car. "Nope. Not a word out of the absolute necessary, anyway."
"If you don't mind me asking, why is she angry with you?" Shinji inquired. The engine coughed its way into life, and the car started traversing the uneven road. "I mean, everybody got drunk at that party. Even Viko was swaying side to side when I left."
Because the cups, the kitchen, and utensils you crafted for her with your bare hands were broken, because I allowed the little haven you three built be tarnished. But mainly, because you got hurt.
"To be fair, I'm responsible for each member of this village, which obviously includes you," Kensuke explained. The skies outside the barrier kept getting darker. "It was my duty to debrief the sailors and keep them on their best behavior. This isn't the first time one of them gets out of control."
Come on, bite. Just a little white lie, Shinji. Just take it and move along, he thought with desperation.
"So, have other members of the Wunder come looking for me before?"
God damn it!
"What? No," he lied. Two others had been dealt with days before the party, only Viko had been the one to 'educate' them. "I mean other sailors who get blackout drunk the moment they set foot on land. They start roughhousing, and sometimes it's escalated to full blown altercations."
"Oh," Shinji nodded, appeased with the response. "Nothing really bad happened, though. I don't get why she won't talk to you."
Kensuke exhaled in relief. "Maybe she'll consider acknowledging my existence once that bruise above your forehead heals," he said. "She checked it before we left, didn't she?"
The way Shinji's face turned bright red was all the proof he needed. Not much else was said as they drove to one of the pillars. Three more Wanderers had slogged their way to the barrier in the past few days. Added to the changing weather and recent altercations, the signs kept spiking Kensuke's nerves.
Many of the workers ran up to greet them. They passed down whatever seeds their families had been able to collect, voiced out their own concerns and explained the most recent system failure with the L-barrier.
"Say, Shinji, that little sweet you added to lunch yesterday morning?" one of the larger ones said. "Freaking tremendous. Loved it."
"Yeah!" another one chimed in, smacking the boy in the back. "I saw you added that spice to my portion! Did the wife tell you to do that?"
"Uhm, not really," Shinji replied. Kensuke suppressed the urge to laugh at how uncomfortable he looked. "Well, no. She did, but she told me not to tell you. I'm sorry."
"Hah! Knew it!"
"So, what's the restaurant's name gonna be?" asked a third worker. "There's a wagon close to the station, pretty sturdy. We can turn it into a kitchen station, it'll be our own little Village 3 bistro!"
They're not even kidding. I've seen their 'schematics' for that wagon, Kensuke thought. Behind him, Shinji tried and failed to provide a coherent response, so the suggestions started flowing once Ryoji spoke out.
"He probably wants to name it 'The Crimson Countess' or something like that."
Laughter echoed through the work station and filtered out the barrier. To him, every bit of joy felt like a challenge to the Wanderers, a cry of rebellion against desolation and oblivion. Once he was at a considerable distance, Kensuke took out the old camera and started recording.
Major's Delight, The Golden Mane, Pirate's House and Shikinami Station were some of the most memorable suggestions, all of which had Shinji mumbling nonsense, looking down and trying to conceal how much he liked a certain Second Child.
It's an important day for mankind, after all. Here we stand, against all odds.
Every seed counted, every moment of bliss and normalcy was a precious gift to be recorded and collected. The villagers welcomed Shinji into their own little work posts, told him of their duties and families, and basically demanded he meet them all at some point. The greatest victory against Gendo Ikari had long since been conquered.
"It's like you said to Viko, old man," Kensuke whispered to the camera. "Little by little, step by step. That boy, with fourteen years of age, is the head chef, fisherman and soon-to-be master craftsman of Village 3. Who the hell is this 'Third Child' everyone speaks of? Here, we only know him as Shinji."
"Stupid Third."
The words felt like bile in her mouth. She tried in vain to focus on the anger from long before, on the memory of the battle, on the pain of being torn apart by Unit 01. Fourteen years of living in a box with people staring at her like she was a monster. Fourteen years of carrying a necklace, a shock collar like she was a dog.
"Little brat. Crybaby. Third Child."
Something cold and moist pressed against Asuka's leg, causing her to almost kick the penguin leader as it huddled close to her. Ugh, I've heard Four-Eyes say birds can get enamored with Lilin, but this is ridiculous, the Major barked. She rarely said anything as of late. I don't even like you lot.
"Liar," she tried. Still, it rang hollow and stale. "Brat. Useless coward."
The penguin shrilled and ruffled its wet feathers. Asuka groaned, then pointlessly moved the box a few feet away. She set the line back into the water, glaring at the bird as it waddled to her. Its company worsened the self-consciousness of fishing alone around the ruins. More of the cooking station had been repaired that morning, which had forced her to wear something other than the plugsuit to keep the stains away.
"This is such a waste," Asuka muttered. "What am I doing?"
After weeks, the question continued to plague her, unanswered. The sensation of a hand caressing her head returned. As if fixing the dumb little kitchen means anything. It's just a way to kill time. Yeah, that's all it is. The game finally got boring. After fourteen years, it got boring. Yeah.
"Brat." The penguin turned to her, visibly annoyed. "What?"
Doesn't feel right for you either, does it, she mused. Heh, fourteen years of hate down the drain with a month of playing house. And now, I'm back to square one, fighting these inefficient emotions again and again. All because of what? Some head pats and a few bentos? How hopelessly weak you are, Asuka.
"That'll always be enough." Shinji countered in her memory.
"Heh," she let out a dry chuckle. "Idiot."
No protest from the penguin, no aftertaste of ashes and bile. Again, Asuka tried to focus on the memories of endless nights without sleep. The memories of the last few nights welcomed her instead, soothing the sting of more than two decades of solitude.
"Shinji." The leader turned to her and squeaked its approval. "Yeah, figured you'd like that one."
"Like what?" A voice rang from behind.
Asuka rolled her eye. "Nothing, Rei," she growled at the newcomer. "You're here early. Your boyfriend's busy helping at the forge. Then, he'll probably run to his dumb little sapling."
"You are here early, as well." Rei dragged her own box a reasonable distance from hers and took a seat. "Has there been any luck with fishing thus far?"
"None, not with these lazy birds not doing their part," Asuka pointed at the group snoozing close to the ruins. She noticed the slight tremors running up and down Rei's body. "Shouldn't you be conserving energy and all that? I smell river water on you."
"I wanted to plant another row of rice," Rei explained. The girl's relaxed expression irked Asuka for some reason. "Ryoji has gifted me a sapling." She motioned towards the small plant that rested near her backpack. "Perhaps we could find it a home today."
"Whatever." Her eye drifted to the clay. "The idiot's set a few buckets to collect rainwater. Pottery wheel's at the forge, though."
"Yes, I visited Mr. Koga's station yesterday." Rei pointed to the dark stains on her coat. "Relative success was achieved with two cups, as per his feedback."
"Two whole cups? Good for you." Asuka tried to add some bite to her tone, which only made the attempt more obviously forced. "You said you wanted to help with the idiot's little kitchen, didn't you? Have at it."
"May I sit here for a bit, first?" Rei inquired. "Your company is pleasant, Pilot Shikinami."
"You'd be about the second or third person ever to think that." Asuka said. "You're not so terrible to be around, either."
"Oh? Then I am glad." Rei gave her a shaky smile. "Do you think he will notice?"
The syringe she kept for the pain in her eye rested on her jacket pocket. Along with the binding agent keeping the restraint within her skull in place, it dulled the pain whenever her unfriendly little parasite decided to have a hissy fit. She stabbed the tip into Rei's arm without warning, and saw the liquid that so many times had eased her own existence disappear.
Rei's body relaxed in seconds, swaying on the box before Asuka caught her shoulder. Her pale skin, cold to the touch, slowly warmed to a normal temperature.
"Not anymore, he won't," Asuka replied. "It won't last forever. He's not as stupid as he looks. Last night he asked me about the shaking of your hands. It'd be easier if you just told him."
She rolled her eye when Rei vehemently shook her head. "I do not wish for these moments to be tarnished," the girl said. "There is not much time left. Every second counts."
"Keh, now you're just sounding like that tree-hugging goofball." Asuka went back to her seat and picked up the fishing rod from the ground. "Suppose whether you tell him or not makes no real difference."
"Indeed," Rei's gaze drifted to the cooking station. "I wish to see the boy I like smile and be happy. That is enough. It shall always be enough."
With her hands under control and body not quaking with every gush of wind, she set about moistening the clay with collected rainwater. Asuka scowled at the ocean, sparing the occasional glance at the way Rei gingerly covered the broken surfaces with fresh material.
Always be enough, huh. For you lot, maybe. You don't really know anything, though. Neither of you. Asuka's gaze turned bitter. Damn it, stop. Don't think about that. Don't waste time in nonsense.
Regardless of how hard she fought against it, Asuka's mind drifted. If even the slightest victory was achieved, perhaps both Shinji and Ryoji could return to the ruins. Newcomers would sit by them, fish and enjoy each other's company. Her hands wrung around the handle. What if she had a chance? What if she survived? What if she fought to the end, and somehow did not die?
Stop. It's nonsense.
The villagers around Ryoji's melon field had treated her just as they treated Shinji. They gave her space, but did not cower in fear. Nobody stared at her like she was a freak. She had almost fallen asleep. She had almost dreamed.
Shut up. So what, I'm supposed to hope for victory now? Dream of sitting here, fishing as the afternoon drones on and Ayanami fumbles about. Going to see the dumb little plants by that brat's field. Sounds boring. Absolutely… completely boring.
Her shoulders loosened as hurried footsteps echoed through the walls.
"Oh!" Shinji stopped a few feet away from her. "Asuka? What… It's sort of early," he said, pointing to the fishing rod. "Usually they start biting a little after three or four."
"So?" she fixed him with a light glare. He did not recoil from it. "I was bored. Do we need to ask the Mighty Fisherman for permission to come here, now?"
"Okay, geez," Shinji laughed off her statement. Even Rei had the gall to giggle behind them. "Hi, Rei! I heard you planted another row this morning!"
"Thank you," Rei stammered back. "The field is now at full capacity."
Shinji crouched beside her, and in little over an hour the station was fully repaired. The sound of his voice soothed her senses further. Weariness settled again, as though whatever human cells remained in her body desperately screamed for rest.
"Hey," he said once his own line was in the water. "Are you hungry? Rei made some onigiri, and I sneaked out a bit of stew from the ration center."
"Starving, actually," she replied, and stifled a yawn. "Did she put sesame seeds on those onigiri?"
"I did not," Rei said. "I am aware you dislike them."
Familiarity. Comfort. A place to return to, not just a place she protected. The horrible seed she had been avoiding took root within Asuka's soul. A desire to win. Hope began to blossom, to her displeasure.
"Heh."
Carefree laughter faded away, as the taste of food or need of water once had.
Memories were harder to access. They remained at hand if pressed enough, only foggy. The events which had led to him standing before the mighty behemoth were engulfed in a mist. He felt nothing. No joy, no sadness, no anticipation or despair.
Only the scenario remained.
"Wait for me, Yui," Gendo Ikari said to the Evangelion. Unit 01 was far, but when had distance ever bothered him? "The moment we have worked so long for is at hand."
"Did it truly have to come to this?"
Fuyutsuki's footsteps distracted his train of thought. Once, as a human, the old man's thoughts and opinions had meant something. Never enough to sway him from a decision, however. A thousand scenarios were revised daily in his head, a thousand times he arrived at the same place.
"This is the only way." Gendo declared. "The old men are sufficiently content with the result. After everything is complete, humanity will know no pain, no sorrow."
"Humanity will be no more," the old man rebuked. "But you will be with Yui. In the end, that is all that matters, no?"
"Correct."
It had been years since the professor stood anywhere close to him. The change had started after Gendo had first assimilated the Angel's core, and broadened with time. Usually some snide remark or ominous, vague statement would be the end of their interaction. That day was different.
"Years without rest, fleeing from your own mortality, and yet the most obvious thought has eluded you," he told Gendo. "Your wish may not be her wish."
The gate closed, and he was alone with the souls residing within Unit 13.
One had once been talkative and curious, lacking in malice. An innocent child, raised to the slaughter like his daughters, like his son. It was best to keep them in the dark, feed them not a drop of affection and not bother filling their heads with false hope. He was a coward, all he could do was hurt and maim and take. Even as he used them for his benefit, they were better off not knowing the monster who had spawned them.
Giggles rippled through the armor and into his mind. The second was eager, inquisitive and devious, even glad for the chance to devour, to seek completion. It was best to keep its desires and pulses caged. The fire within that soul was dangerous if not kept at bay. Their shared interest was a blessing. She would obtain completion with the last of the Shikinami series, and he would see his Yui at last.
I will become God, the words rang though his brain again. Then I will not lose anything ever again.
"Your wish may not be her wish."
For once in over fourteen years, Gendo's gut constricted. Yui had always loved their son more than anything in the world. The boy was weak, surely too broken to move, if he was alive at all. All he needed was Unit 01, Shinji was no longer of any use. With the power surely to be at hand, the boy's existence was irrelevant.
"Once we are together, I can bring him along if that is your wish," Gendo elaborated. From afar, he felt the core of Unit 01 come alive. "Wait for me, Yui."
The phrase would strengthen his resolve on days where it had once faltered. They felt empty now, just like his chest and soul. It was a shame he was too far gone to notice.
"…yeah, I've heard it. Hard not to."
"Told you. They're jumping with joy because that brat stopped trying to starve himself. Imagine if he tries to get back in the ship. Imagine if he feels like piloting again."
Mari stopped mid-stride. Her eyes narrowed at the voices that echoed from the halls. She hid behind a corner and flattened against the metal wall. The footfalls halted. Three or four, if she had to guess. She recognized the first two as some of the older crewmen, a mechanic and a pilot.
"Eh, doesn't matter," A third, familiar and feminine voice added. They whispered amongst one another, and from her viewpoint Mari could see them turn their heads every few seconds. "All that news about the village is best thing that could've happened to us," she said. "Especially those details about Pilot Shikinami."
"Who would've thought she'd turn on us, her of all people," the mechanic grumbled. "Prancing around that walking apocalypse, pretending she doesn't hate him as much as us."
"Captain's getting cold feet, too," the smallest one mumbled. "She fed us that 'by whatever means necessary' bullshit for years, and now she hesitates."
"Won't matter much after we get control of the deck," said the woman. "Akagi hacked the self-destruct system of Unit 01. A little more work, and we'll be able to activate it remotely. You know what that means, right? Goodbye to all this nightmare once and for all."
"Yeah. A blue sky and green trees, at last."
"First, we need to get a hold of that DSS device, though. A single Eva's enough to stop the plan dead in its tracks."
Throw a little blood in the water and watch the sharks approach, Mari thought. Ritsuko's strategy had worked marvelously. The idea of detonating the Evangelions along with the ship in a last-ditch effort to destroy Ikari's fortress, or at least derail his plans had been widely embraced.
Many crew members clamored that Shinji's collar be triggered along with Unit 01.
Not on our watch, that's for sure. Isn't that right, Princess? Mari quietly moved back to her quarters, memorizing the faces of the trio of mutineers. The female did herself no favors with such a unique hair color. Why does everybody always try to make things difficult? They say they're adults, but they behave like four-year-olds.
She picked up the boring novel from before and re-read the ending, which was at least somewhat cathartic despite the poor writing quality. The deckhand walked by her cage and ducked away once she fixed him with a playful smile.
"Run along, little weasel," Mari snickered, turning the page. "Hide in your burrow like the coward you are. To think the dear professor calls me Iscariot. How ironic."
One advantage of having lived for so long was the knowledge of old technology, old means of exchanging information otherwise untraceable through electronics. She scribbled a note in a tiny piece of paper with even smaller letters. To the blind eye, it was nothing but badly written lyrics of a song. The tiny paper was crumpled into a ball as though it was trash, and stuffed in an old matchbox.
"With those three, that makes about fifty-seven. Not really great numbers." Mari exited the cage and pretended to inspect her Eva, and left the small package in one of the smaller crevices. "Oh, well. Not like it'll make any difference."
The atmosphere in the fleet was strained. More than half of the crew had opted to stay in the village, which left the Wunder with the absolute necessary numbers to keep the ships operational and ready for battle. After hiding two other boxes, Mari made her way to the chamber where Unit 01 was contained.
"It's certainly been a while, old friend," she whispered. No response, not that she expected one. "Excited to see your Puppy again? I know I am!"
"Twenty-seven… twenty-eight," Shinji paused, and fixed Viko with a worried glance. "No new leaves for a while. Is that normal?"
Viko's laughter did nothing for his unease. "Absolutely!" He exclaimed. "It's grown about four centimeters in the past few days, in case you didn't notice."
I'll have to take his word for it. Is it getting enough sunlight? Too much, maybe? Maybe a bit more water. Weather's been weird the past few days. Should I just build a small roof to protec-
"Stop that," Viko reprimanded. The man's knuckles playfully impacted on top of Shinji's skull. He pointed to one of the smaller trees. "Too much attention is also detrimental to growth. 'Does it need more water? More sunlight? Less? More fertilizer? I'll just add them all preemptively tocover my bases.' Things grow at their own pace, Shinji."
Sighing in defeat, Shinji washed his hands in the stream and collapsed next to Viko. "Why does it feel like every time you say something, you're not really talking about whatever it is we're talking about?"
"Hmm? What do you mean?"
"It just feels like you're… trying to teach me something," he clarified. "Did your brother do that with you a lot?"
"All the damn time," Viko admitted, laughing. "What's worse, his special little 'brand' of wisdom came shrouded in foul language and derisive banter more often than not."
"So, sort of like you, but rude?" More laughter, loud enough to alert the birds above. "Am I being annoying?" Shinji asked next. "Around Asuka, I mean. I wouldn't want to… uhm… make her uncomfortable."
"Nah, you're fine. She'd be the first to tell you if that were the case." Viko handed him a fresh bottle of lemonade. "I get it, you're excited. And you're worried that you'll mess it up. It's all perfectly normal."
"Kensuke told me something like that," added Shinji. The anxiousness receded a bit after a drink of the cold beverage. "I think I've grown to like this place. Your 'favorite spot'."
"Have you?" Viko shot him a knowing glance. "As stated the day we met, it's all yours. The more the merrier! Speaking of which, how come our dearest Major didn't come along? I miss her glaring at me from the shadows."
His heartbeat doubled in seconds. Asuka had chosen to stay at the house that evening. Not that I had much of a choice. She basically shooed me out without any explanation the moment I got back from the rice field. There was wood burning outside, I could smell it. And the cut on her finger, what's up with that?
"She didn't say, but I get the feeling that she was busy." Shinji clarified.
"Busy? With something other than her videogames? Preposterous."
The WonderSwan had been absent that morning as well. The times he saw her playing were scarcer each day. "Believe or not, she hasn't been using it lately."
"How intriguing," Viko commented, giving Shinji a smug little smirk. "Something or someone else must be occupying her attention, then. What could that be, I wonder?"
Shinji fidgeted and stared at the ground. Lately, any thoughts regarding a certain redhead dragged with them the recollection of her head against his shoulder, her hair threading through his fingers, her calm, deep breathing.
"Do you think Asuka's pretty?" The question made Viko raise a curious eyebrow, and forced Shinji to slap a hand over his own mouth. "Sorry," he added. "Never mind."
"No need to apologize." Viko glanced at the village, deep in thought. "I don't mean to be rude, but Major Shikinami isn't really my type. Not that she's not beautiful, mind you. So, to answer your question; yes. She's very pretty."
Hearing the words from someone else validated his feelings to an extent. "I like her hair, a-and her eyes."
"Most people only ever see the anger in that glare of hers." Viko patted Shinji on the shoulder. "My brother had a similar, albeit much darker look. Nobody bothered to see the sadness underneath, or the joy. There's a… lonely sort of beauty to that, right? This beauty is so quiet and hidden away, though, that most of us can't ever see it."
Reading between the snarky lines of what Asuka said came to mind. The way she scowled at the food, or how easily she dismissed any compliment to hide her true reaction. How the tiniest act of kindness from her meant so much more now that he knew of her past.
Kensuke had shown him a very rare species of migratory bird the night before. When Shinji questioned why they had wasted the chance to take a picture, Kensuke had only chuckled and allowed him to view the bird with the lens before it flew away.
"Beautiful things don't ask for attention," Shinji repeated, recalling the many times Asuka disappeared behind a tree or a wall. "That's why they're so hard to find."
"You have to know how to look, or they'll just scamper away," Viko added. "Heh, old man Aida's favorite line, that was. Now then, regarding your earlier request."
Shinji's head instantly snapped in the man's direction. "Yeah? Is it… possible?"
"The first one is easy, I have just the thing. The second, however… I'm afraid not." The words made Shinji's shoulders slump, so Viko slapped a calloused hand on his back again. "Give it a few months, depending on the weather, and they might just bloom."
Oh. I guess I was asking for too much. It's a stupid idea, anyway. She'd probably just throw them in the trash like those letters from school. It's better this way, yeah.
"Your choice was too cliché, though."
The gears in Shinji's mind came to an abrupt halt. "Huh?"
Viko got to his feet and dusted off his pants, offering a gloved hand in his direction. "There are more plant species than we will probably ever be able to document. Some are so rare they're only seen or heard from once or twice. Something more… unique… could be the proper course."
"So… there's another option?" Shinji asked, dumbfounded.
"Funny you should ask! Let me tell you about the exciting world of plant symbolism throughout human history! Very exciting tales of cross-pollination and genetic engineering!"
Oh, Shinji repressed a groan. "How… exciting." He sighed in defeat. "Care to elaborate?"
No.
The rice started to burn in the pan. Two of the fillets Hikari provided had already fallen on the seasoning. One of the plates had slipped onto the floor and broken onto pieces, and a glass had been thrown at the wall afterwards.
No, no, no. Wrong, too damn bland. No way this is any good. How would I know, anyway? I can barely even remember what things taste like.
"Ugh, why am I wasting my time with this?" Asuka asked the empty house. No reply, not from the Major, not from the walls, not from the parasite. "Acting like a dumb twelve-year-old, and for what? So he can pretend to like it and vomit when I'm not looking?"
Despite the constant reasoning against continuing her task, Asuka refueled the cinders outside and set about trying not to burn the protein. Stop, she ordered the raging pulse thundering in her ears. I've faced monsters my entire life. I've become the meatsuit for one, as well. You will regain control. You will not fail at this menial task, even if it's pointless.
"Idiot always makes some sauce or reduction in case the meat doesn't get seasoned," she grumbled at the pans, and took out the wrinkled paper where the recipe and steps were written. "Mix in the butter and stir until emulsified. Ugh, how long is that supposed to take, then?"
Nothing on the instructions specified a time frame, so the clock in her head was once again rendered useless. Focusing on whether the pan was sufficiently hot, or if the plates were at the table made Asuka forget the perpetual run against time.
"Emulsify, damn you." Asuka ordered. "Come on, how much longer?"
Minutes ticked by without her noticing. Between keeping the stove ignited, cooking the meat and making sure the rice did not turn into char took away the Wunder's impending arrival. How does the idiot look so relaxed while doing this crap? It's infuriating!
The pan was about to be introduced to the wall when its content finally began to condense. Asuka's pulse settled, her hands steadied and slowly, she began to slightly enjoy herself. Memories of watching Shinji flashed as the meat browned. At first, his movements had been robotic, his efforts forced, while the food had been less than bland at best. That morning and many before it, Shinji's energy had felt revoltingly contagious.
Bouncing from side to side like a damn tennis ball. Idiot tripped on Kensuke's helmet and didn't skip a beat when getting back up.
"Glaze the meat side to side with the sauce,'" Asuka recited. She applied a generous coat of sauce to the chicken fillets. "'Cover if possible to cook thoroughly. Add salt, pepper and fresh spices at the end.' Alright, easy."
Taking a step back to admire her handiwork, Asuka's scowl melted under a confident smirk once the scents started to flow through the house. Not too bad for my second ever try at this crap. That'll teach the idiot to step up his gam-
"I'm home!" Shinji greeted from the door, making her pulse quicken again. His head perk up in the kitchen's direction. "Hi, Asuka! Is that an apron?" He blinked upon noticing the fragrance in the air. "Are you cooking?"
"Do you ever get tired of asking obvious questions?" Asuka snapped back. "I was bored, there was stuff around. Are you supposed to be the only one allowed to cook or something?"
"It smells amazing," Shinji complimented, and once more completely ignore her efforts to be unpleasant. 'What are you making?"
Something that'll probably taste like crap. What do you care, anyway? Who said this is for you? Like I didn't already tell you I don't need food. Hell, it could be for Kensuke for all the idiot knows, or it could just be a trial run to kill time.
"Uhm, Asuka?"
"Chicken," was her curt reply. "Suzuhara had to put one down. Can't waste resources and all that." Asuka's eye narrowed upon noticing Shinji was sitting by the table with the dictionary open, but his gaze repeatedly jumped to her. "What?"
"It's kind of late," he murmured while pretending to outline a word in the page. "Is Kensuke still busy at the ration center?"
"He's busy at that stupid radio tower," Asuka growled. His sheepish little grin still made her angry. "Something about the landing gear for the Wunder, too. He'll probably stay the night at Hikari's place. Closer to the station and all that."
A stolen glance to the table confirmed Shinji was half-paralyzed with shock. His hand had stopped scribbling mid-sentence, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape. The reaction only sent her own nerves haywire, which made Asuka feel grateful for the hoodie obscuring her face.
"I-I should go try to help, then," Shinji said after a few minutes, just as the meat finished cooking. "They always need any extra pair of hands they can g-"
"You're going to sit there, have dinner and not overwork yourself," Asuka interrupted, fuming. Her tone left no room for argument. "He's probably using that as an excuse to go drink with old man Horaki." She pointed towards the bathroom with her back to him. "You will take a damn shower, sit back down, and eat."
The chair creaked loudly as Shinji stood, gave her a half nod and hurried disappeared behind the sliding door.
Asuka exhaled in relief when the sound of water echoed through the house. Still need a couple of minutes for this dumb, half-burnt rice, she thought. Whatever. Just do this one thing, Asuka. Make a meal for the brat who fought against you and tried to end the world tw… ugh. Can't even think it properly, anymore.
"Hollow," she murmured. "Lacking in real value, sincerity, or substance."
Asuka did little else than throw the food on the plate, an antithesis to Shinji's minute care of the portions. She almost slammed both dishes on the table before taking a seat, only to notice she still had the apron on. She quickly changed into an oversized shirt and some shorts Mari had gifted her, opting to leave the jacket on the mattress.
"Can I help you with anything?" Shinji came to the living room dressed in the black tracksuit, looking as apprehensive as she felt. "Viko gave me some lemonade and a couple of pears."
"Lemonade's on the table." Asuka's foot began to tap against the floor. "Pears would be a good dessert. You're on dish duty after dinner."
Isn't he always?
"Aren't I always on dish duty?" he asked in perfect synchronicity with her brain.
"Heh, maybe." Stifling another chuckle, Asuka nodded towards the seat. "Food's gonna get cold, idiot."
"Right! Sorry." Shinji sat back down and instantly began to look everywhere but at her or the dish. "It… looks amazing."
Liar.
"I made a point of not making it elegant," Asuka rebuked. The familiar glare shone on her features. "So spare me the false praise and formalities."
"Huh? Formalities?" Shinji seemed genuinely confused, which only angered her further. He remained oblivious to it, and gently prodded at the finely carved flesh. "The browning is great! I always have trouble getting the right temperature. And the rice looks crunchy, just the way I like!"
You like burnt rice? Asuka blinked, looking away as a pang of sadness and shame sunk into her chest. I didn't… I didn't know that. I don't really know anything about you.
"Well, lucky for you there's half a pan left of your crunchy delight," she rasped. "Let's eat, then."
"Thank you for the meal," Shinji said. The words were meant for her, not some random deity. She noticed his cheeks color slightly. "I don't remember the last time someone made something like this for me."
"Who said it's for you?" Asuka rebuked and resisted the urge to flinch. Shinji's chopsticks halted mid-air, eyes downcast. Great, solid strategy. Make the idiot lose his appetite, why don't you. "I've been getting these waves of fatigue lately," she started with a milder tone, and pierced a piece of chicken with her fork. "Only thing that helps is if I eat something. Been getting hungrier, as well."
"Fatigue?"
Fish caught the line the moment it saw the bait, she mused, suppressing a smile. "Eh, it's no big deal, not nearly enough to hinder my performance. Probably the boredom getting to me."
The silence at the table became stifling.
Jeez, I didn't mean it, okay, Asuka thought, not looking up. You can't possibly be so clueless, can you? This is probably the last time you and I are going to be sitting at the same table. Wunder's arriving in two days. Time's up.
She was about to demand what the problem was with the food, but realized Shinji was eating very slowly. He'd take a demure bite, not unlike she did with every meal, but instead of growling or scowling, his eyes would close. With every passing second, it became clear just how focused he was.
After the third bite, he started to smile. "I'm sorry," he muttered, straightening up. "The taste is incredible… chicken's cooked perfectly. The seasoning's balanced and makes the sweetness of the sauce stand out, and… uhm…" A chuckle escaped his throat. "I'm sorry."
"It's fine." Asuka dismissed his apology with a shrug. "So it's edible? Heh, that's good to know."
Shinji offered a shaky smile. "It's delicious."
"Whatever, idiot," Asuka looked away, cheeks burning. "Don't let it get cold, you'll spoil the taste."
What's that word Mari uses all the time? Ah, empathy, she thought, watching as Shinji immersed himself in the contrast of flavours. His body language displayed complete honesty; the meal was to his liking. This was probably the first time in his life that somebody not only cooked specifically for him, but also sat down to enjoy said meal with him.
I know how that feels, Asuka realized. I get angry because that's all I know how to do. But you understand, somehow you don't mind it too much. Heh. No hard feelings, First. If it's any consolation, I had to wait fourteen freaking years for my do-over.
"So, burnt rice," she said after the silence began to feel forced. "How come you like it? Isn't it supposed to be cooked to perfection and all that?"
Shinji smiled. "My teacher used to leave it to warm on the stove when I was little," he retailed, stifling a shaky giggle. "It always burnt, but he had a way of just shrugging his shoulders that'd make me laugh. We'd mix the rice with ketchup and soy sauce."
"Sauce's got some soy in it." Asuka pushed the small bowl in his direction, feeling a burst of electricity when their fingers brushed. "Probably the one moment that felt like bonding between you and your teacher, huh," she realized. "What was the first thing you tried to cook?"
The inquiry had the desired effect; Shinji relaxed even more and laughed to himself. His plate had long since been emptied, which brought a sense of elation not unlike the day they had given her the Shikinami name.
"I tried to cook some instant ramen," he admitted with a snicker. "Thing is… I dialed one hundred minutes instead of one. Well, you can imagine my surprise when something exploded inside the microwave, which in turn started to short-circuit and smoke."
Again, his energy felt contagious, and Asuka had to bite her lip to keep a laugh from escaping. "I don't suppose your teacher was very happy about your experiment."
"Not really, he didn't get mad," Shinji sobered up some. She noticed a bit of sadness reflect on his gaze. "Maybe I was half-hoping he'd actually get mad and… pay some attention to me or something. But he didn't," he added shook his head and smiled again. "Truth be told, I got a little scared of using the microwave, so I started trying my luck at the kitchen. I did burn the rice afterwards, though."
Asuka refilled both plates in a quick dash to the kitchen to stifle her giggling. "Idiot," she muttered, not realizing how fondness leaked into her voice. "Still hungry?"
"Starving, actually," Shinji replied. "The food's really delicious, Asuka. Do you-" she heard him gulp. "-do you cook often?"
The innocuous compliment along with Shinji's wish for seconds made her chest swell with ominous fulfillment. "I don't cook, period," Asuka replied, eliciting a laugh. "This is about the third or fourth time ever. First time was during training. One day they ran out of rations, so I just snuck into the kitchens and made onion soup with a bit of marrow and potatoes I found. It was greasy and way too salty, but it was warm. Heh, I remember sitting in the forest, on top of this old, fallen tree, eating my soup with a dumb smirk on my face."
"Apparently your first try went way better than mine," Shinji mentioned. "No surprise, really. You strike me as someone that can be the best in anything she sets her mind to." Asuka raised an eyebrow when he slapped a hand over his mouth again. "Sorry."
"Stop apologizing, damn you," growled Asuka, almost slamming the plate in front of him. "There's never any time to do something I 'set my mind to', Shinji. Most of the it's just following orders. 'Do this, pilot that. Fight here, sleep over there. Get up, go back to your cage'. The times I made a choice it ended with the food I made probably rotting away in the kitchen, and with this," She glared at her plate, then pointed to the eyepatch. "Couldn't even stop your idiot butt from messing up, so where do you get that idea from?"
Yeah, way to keep bringing down the mood, Asuka, she thought right as her mouth closed. This is the last time you'll get to do this, the only time, and you're messing it up. Eh, better this way. Best to just rip the band-aid off and let him see there's nothing left to rebuild her-
"The food you made?" Shinji asked. "You cooked something before… before Unit 03?"
"Yeah, what about it?"
"Nothing, just…" he offered a small, sad smile. "Rei told me about the meal with Father, but I had no idea. I would've loved to have that chance." His eyes drifted to the meal. "I'm grateful."
Misato's recounting of the events that followed her synch with Unit 03 were vague at best, but from what she gathered, Shinji had not stepped foot in the apartment again. There was no way for him to know there had been food there. Thanking me for some crappy sludge I put together fourteen years ago. Heh, what an idiot.
"You're welcome," Asuka muttered in between bites. "Food's not so bad after all, is it?"
"Not so bad? It's amazing! And I'm not just saying that," Shinji's features relaxed further. "It's totally different from any recipe I know. I would've never guessed you don't cook often after trying this."
That's because you didn't see me burn fish and rice twice in your dumb little beach kitchen.
"Whatever." She deflected the praise and looked away, fully aware of the blush creeping up her cheeks. "Idiot Tree's doing well?"
"It is! Viko explained why it hasn't sprouted any new leaves. I checked on yours, too," he admitted sheepishly. "They're all doing great, I counted two new leaves on three of them."
"Two whole new leaves, wow," Asuka replied sarcastically. "The world is saved because I dug four plants into the ground."
"Little by little, bit by bit," Shinji said, then uttered a loud groan and slammed his forehead against the table. "I sound like him now. That was so lame," he shook his head in disbelief and apparent disgust.
"Heh." This time, Asuka was unable to restrain the small chuckle. "There are worse things in this world than sounding like that blonde goof. I'll take his moronic one-liners over the alternative of a catatonic idiot." Shinji laughed, that soft, calming sound she was fond of. "Good to know the tree brats are not dead, yet."
Using the pejorative term she had wrongfully bestowed on him felt right again. Fine, the major barked, defeated as more snickers rang through the room. He's not a little brat anymore. But the stupid trees are, so that'll be their name until they bear fruit or whatever.
"I like this place," Shinji remarked long after his plate had been emptied. "The village, the forest, the people, the work," he carried on when their eyes met. "Sometimes I wonder if what I'm feeling is happiness, and if so, I wonder why I'm allowed to enjoy it."
Asuka's thoughts drifted to the quiet evenings spent fishing. They rarely spoke more than a few words, it was a boring, uneventful way of wasting hours upon hours. More than once the very same question had flashed through her mind. Then, the blade of sorrow sunk deep into her cage, hollowing out any joy the evening might have brought.
"You can stay here," she revealed. Her eye fell on the corner, on the dictionary lying atop Shinji's blankets. "Help, build, cook for those brutes who dig holes by the barrier. Fish with those annoying birds and their weird leader." A defeated sigh escaped her. "You can enact your penance here, for the rest of your life. Who knows how long that will be, with the Curse of Eva and all, so you've got plenty of time to continue atoning."
Expecting relief, dissolution or even denial, Asuka turned to him. Shinji's eyes were filled with an indescribable sadness, as though whatever hopes he had built until that point had just been shattered.
"Is my father really going through with his plan?"
"Of course he is," Asuka replied instantly. "Whatever humanity he had, if he ever had any, is long gone. That's what all the fuss is about, you know this better than anyone. All he cares about is his precious scenario."
"Then everybody in the village…" Shinji's gaze hardened as it fixed on the window. "It would become core energy. Everything would disappear."
"Pretty much," Asuka confirmed nonchalantly. "That's why we're going to fight. It's probably a lost cause, all things considered, but if by some miracle we stop him, your penance should continue undisturbed."
"You're going," Shinji said, defeated. "To fight, I mean."
"I'm a pilot." The statement was resolute. "Not much of a choice, and if I had one, I'd choose to go and fight. It's who I am."
Uncertainty clouded Shinji's features. It looked as though he wanted to ask her something, but had not yet mustered up the courage to do so. "If I… Uhm," He scratched at the scar on his wrist. "It'd be bad if I got into the ship, wouldn't it? I heard people say lots of the crew members in the Wunder hate me."
"They do," Asuka confirmed. "And in this fantasy world of yours, do you climb into your Eva again?"
"Would anybody even let me?" Shinji asked instead. "Misato, Toji's sister, even that sailor; they think if I pilot Unit 01, then the world will surely end. And… a big part of me agrees with them."
"Sit up straight. I'm only going to say this once, so pay attention." Asuka's commanding tone immediately drew his attention to her eye. "The world's probably going to end, anyway. We're outgunned, outnumbered. This is a Hail Mary, last ditch attempt to make a slight difference, or at the very least, win a little more time. A few more decades if you're lucky, so your idiot tree can grow."
Doubt slowly faded from Shinji's features as he nodded. "Almost every single time I've piloted, I've messed it up. Would Unit 01 make a difference?"
"Lots of woulds and ifs in this dreamworld," she grumbled, and swallowed whatever remained of her pride. "Unit 01's awakened, it had enough power to almost start an Impact. It defeated and merged the strongest Angel with little to no difficulty."
"Yeah, but that wasn't me-" Shinji cut himself off, eyes widening. He was probably reliving those moments. "-I mean, it was. And look at what happened."
"Stop going in circles, idiot," said Asuka. She offered a bored half-glare and pointed at the dictionary. "So you messed up. How many cups did you mess up before you managed to build one that worked?"
Asuka suppressed a victorious smirk when Shinji's back straightened.
"If you want to come to the Wunder, what awaits you is a cage, a leash and a collar. In between, the tiny chance that you might make a difference."
"Just like it's your choice to go and fight, it's my choice to either go or stay," Shinji realized at last. She almost smiled at the way his resolve steeled further. "Asuka, I think I'd like to go with you."
A weight she had barely realized existed dropped from her shoulders. The hand constricting her breathing for fourteen years relented some. "Even if it means living in a cage, being treated like a weapon, or a rabid, dangerous dog at best, drinking water distilled from piss and fighting endlessly in a losing war? Even if it means being the on receiving end to the crew's hatred?"
Shinji nodded. "Yes."
"Even if it means never seeing your stupid tree again, or the dumb penguins, or that purple-haired brat and his goofy guardian?"
His gaze remained steadfast. "Yes."
"The ship arrives in two days," Asuka revealed, rising from the table. Shinji followed right after and began washing the dishes. "You have until then to change your mind and see reason. Do I make myself clear?"
"Crystal, Asuka," he nodded in her direction. "Thank you."
Stop thanking me, damn you! It's weird!
"Yeah, yeah." She walked over to the dictionary, noticing how the roundel was nowhere in sight. "You finished translating that song of yours?"
"I did," Shinji replied from the kitchen. "Although I have to say, doesn't sound nearly as good in Japanese."
"Heh, you probably just suck at singing."
The words felt unnecessarily harsh. Something was compelling Asuka to at least try to apologize, but then Shinji laughed again. Her instincts and nerves, on edge since she had started cooking, settled at last.
"I'd have to ask the penguins," he added in between chuckles. "It's not so cold out tonight, and… I think the curse started to settle in. I can still taste everything, still get hungry and thirsty. Do you want to… talk a little more?"
"The curse, huh," Asuka yawned and walked over to the door. "Not much else to do, anyway. Get over here, then, idiot. Bring your stupid music box thingy."
She demanded to hear the song later that night, as they sat side by side and shared earphones. The improvement in Shinji's calligraphy ever since starting the translation was almost a mirror image of his health. He was explaining something about one of the classical pieces when it happened. Asuka nodded off and unconsciously grabbed onto his arm like a pillow. That night, as the gentle tunes of Shinji's music soothed her senses, there was no denying she lost consciousness for well over four hours.
That night, Asuka dreamed.
"Nice view, right?"
Rei slowly turned to face a smiling Hikari dressed in her night clothes. She nodded, switching her gaze to the stars shining above as the older woman gingerly took a seat next to her. The night creatures were especially loud that night, drowning the dull aches of her body in a magnificent natural symphony.
"The stars are beautiful," Rei murmured. The moon glistened crimson-silver, the breeze's temperature was perfect. Clad in her plugsuit and watching the seconds tick away, she felt slightly frightened. "I wonder if the tale that souls go there afterwards is true."
"Throughout history, hu manity has always looked to the stars to search for their loved ones, their predecessors, or their gods," Hikari replied, drawing Rei in a loose, warm embrace. "I like to think they're looking down with a smile, happy that they live on."
"Live on?" Rei blinked in surprise. "How does one achieve this after the end?"
According to their programming, nothing but darkness came after the end. They returned to the nothingness of Lilith's consciousness, as though they had never existed. Then, her own wishes and desires manifested with the answer.
"We live on the hearts and minds of those who hold us dear," Hikari's voice started to tremble. Her arm shook with restrained sobs as the hold on Rei's body tightened. "We stay there for as long as they remember us, and bring them happiness and smiles whenever they think of us."
"Will you remember me?" asked Rei. A wave of emotion forced lonesome tears to cascade down her cheeks. "Will Shinji remember me?"
"For as long as we breathe, all of us," Hikari reaffirmed through quiet sobs. "The workers at the fields, the kitchen staff, my husband, my grumpy dad, Tsubame, Asuka, and most of all… Shinji. Not a day will go by that he won't think of you, and smile."
Rei closed her eyes and reveled in the warmth. Perhaps this is a motherly embrace. Thank you, for yet another precious memory to take with me. Her lower lip quivered. I do not wish to go. Why must I part with this warmth and comfort?
"This will always be your home." Hikari kissed the top of her head. "You will always be here. In the fields, in the showers with your friends, reading books in the library. We'll make sure of that, Rei."
Again, the aches faded completely. Rei's breathing quieted, the tears stopped flowing, and the same peace that had engulfed her once before took root in her chest. She remembered seeing Asuka show affection to Shinji, in her own way, and knowing he would not be alone.
"I will remember you all, as well," she said. "And smile as the rice grows, or as the Idiot Tree bears fruit and shade." Her innocent gaze fell upon Hikari's teary one. "I am home."
"Yes, you are," Hikari replied. "Welcome home, Rei."
"… the Alstroemeria was particularly difficult. They bloom so rarely in this weird weather." Viko handed over the bouquet. There was no extra ornament aside from a red cloth holding it together. "Never mind the pink Camellias, boy were those tough!"
Shinji's hand curled around the stems, careful not to damage a single petal. His heart was so loud it was deafening out the Viko's explanation altogether. The memory of Asuka yawning and settling against him had kept his breathing erratic all through the morning. His fingers were trembling as they held the flowers.
"-I mean, personally, I wouldn't go that extreme on the first try, but that's me!" Viko's voice resounded from afar. "My brother hated playing it safe, though. Ryoji does, too! So, your choice, Mr. Ikari."
"Hmm?" Shinji shook his head and remembered why he was there in the first place. "My choice? What am I supposed to choose?"
"Oh boy, you're totally gone, aren't you?" Viko asked, barking a laugh. "Ryoji's going to absolutely love this! Anyway, and asking for the third time, by the way. The lilac, yes or no?"
"Oh, that one's nice, can you be a dear and pick that up Shinji?" Hikari said in his mind. "Purple lilac, represents the birth of a first love. Toji found some for me years ago, they're my favorites!"
A hawk's loud screech brought him back to the present. The flowers still rested innocently in Viko's hand.
"She's just going to throw them away. The Wunder's landing and everything," he said, mostly to himself. "It's stupid. She's…" Asuka is not older than you, Hikari reprimanded. "She might hate it. I don't want to add to her stress of going to battle."
"How in the hell is a gift supposed to add stress?" Viko rebuked, and gave his shoulder a playful punch. "Regardless of how tough she is, Major Shikinami is still a girl. And girls like flowers. So, lilacs. Yay or nay?"
Indecision. Cowardice. Hesitation. Build, Shinji. Work, help, make Asuka smile. No matter what.
"Yeah," he answered at last. "Thank you."
With an enthusiastic nod, Viko took the bouquet from his hold and added the last touches. "Now remember, keep the vase safe, and make sure to water them at least once a day."
"Uhm, Viko," he started. The man raised an eyebrow, it was the first time Shinji called him by his name. "What do you do when you're scared, and can't seem to make up your mind?"
"Hmm, when I'm scared? I think of things that inspire bravery in me." Viko pointed to the desert stretching before them, at a very specific point on the horizon. "I think of my brother, because he would've faced a tiger bare-handed to protect me. I think of Ryoji, and how I must always make sure he's safe." He laughed all of the sudden, and collapsed on the grass, cross-legged. "Doesn't mean I'm not scared, though."
Shinji rummaged through the red jacket's pocket and produced the roundel. He so very desperately wanted to have the pirate insignia, as well. "And when you can't choose? If you know that whatever you do, somebody will be hurt?"
Viko's green eyes became unguarded once more. He felt it, the overwhelming sadness and horror, the guilt, and the empathy. "I ask myself what my brother would do, and I do the opposite of that."
My father can't be bothered to worry about anyone, Shinji thought, offering a nod. He wouldn't care about casualties or anything, he'd do whatever was necessary to get his way. The opposite of that is…
"So, do I now climb into the Eva and fight?" he asked at last. It felt heavenly to say the question out loud.
"Yes." Viko replied.
Shinji's head perked up.
"No."
He groaned.
"It's up to you, in the end." Viko nodded towards the forest. "Nobody will judge you or hate you, whatever you choose."
Craft. Fight. Help. Grow. Nurture. Atone. Build, Shinji. "I know it may not seem like it, but-" His hands curled into fists. "I've been trying to find a way to help… to fight, for weeks."
"Of course you have," answered Viko quietly, looking down at his maimed fingers. "You feel guilt. You want redemption."
Yes. If that were ever possible.
Shinji looked at the waste beyond the L-barrier, at the many Wanderers that were gathering around the village. "I want to mend my mistakes."
The same maimed fingers gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "The mistakes you have suffered for." Viko smiled. "Let's pretend there is no war. You're still here, but ominous power is granted to you. If you wish to restart everything, wipe the slate clean and make everyone forget what happened, you can. All possible outcomes are at your disposal. In that situation… what do you choose? What do you want, Shinji?"
"Not bad, you idiot," Asuka's voice whispered in his memory. "Not bad at all."
"Restart it all huh," Shinji mumbled with a shake of his head. "I think I just want to… live. With Asuka, if that were ever possible. If she'd-" he paused, gulping, "-let me. I want her to forgive me. I want to make it up to her for not being there." He thought of the penguins, the afternoons fishing, the smell of wet earth around the fields where Rei worked. "I want to read and cook and…" and make her smile. "It's stupid."
"Doesn't sound stupid to me, sounds like a fine goal." Viko replied. "If you keep trying, then maybe you'll have it. Step by step, little by little."
"Suddenly you find yourself doing impossible things," Shinji intoned.
"Right! These limes are pretty good, wouldn't you say so?" A ripe fruit fell on Shinji's free hand. "Do you know what I dream of, at times? What keeps me going through this hell? Heh, it's kind of dumb. My brother used to laugh whenever I told him, and Ryoji does too. Sometimes I simply wish for… heh…"
"A world where everyone can enjoy a nice, cold glass of lemonade."
Viko turned to him in surprise. "How do you know?"
He smiled, recalling an easy smile brimming with confidence. "That's what keeps Ryoji going, too."
It's fading. I am fading away. Fade; to gradually grow faint and disappear.
Warm ocean breeze caressed her hair and skin, engulfed her body in a myriad of comforting sensations. The pain was gone due to the syringe Asuka had last gifted her. There was no nausea, nor did she feel confused or frightened. She felt tranquil instead, like the gentle waves crashing ashore.
The entire huddle of penguins stood around in a semi-circle, with the leader standing beside her and occasionally glancing up. They must surely sense it, Rei realized with a sad smile. She crouched and ruffled the feathers on the leader's head. You are a most dedicated guardian. I thank you for looking after him. Please also look after her, if you can. She will say it is unnecessary, of course, but she will be grateful.
"Two more months until the rice yields," she told the bird. "Everything grows and withers at its own pace."
Moist feathers pressed against her as the leader squeaked its approval. Will you remember me, as well? I hope so.
Her senses were keen and dialed to their maximum at their last moments, so the presence manifesting beside her came as an absolute shock. She heard no footsteps nor saw any movement, and yet a figure stood next to Rei after what felt like a blink.
"A red dawn today," Viko whispered. He presented a marvelous, sweet smelling bouquet of tiny blue flowers to her. "Forget-me-nots," he explained. "My brother's favorites."
Rei smiled, holding the flowers close. "Was your brother a good man, like Mr. Suzuhara or Mr. Aida?"
The penguins jumped in surprise at the sudden howl of laughter, and only then did Rei realize they had also not reacted to the man's approach.
"No," Viko said in between barks of mirth. "Quite the opposite in fact."
Gendo Ikari's figure flashed through her mind. "But he loved you, did he not?"
"Yes."
Hope, she mused. A feeling of expectation, and a desire for certain things to happen.
"In the end, did he try to be a good man?" she asked.
A pause. Viko's gaze drifted to the sky, then back to her. "Yes."
She nodded, walking over to Shinji's kitchen and carefully placing the bouquet on the cup she had crafted for him. "What was his name? Perhaps I will meet him soon."
Viko laughed again. His voice mingled with a crashing wave. "I have a feeling he would've liked you," he said, turning away. "Much like Shinji, he always had an eye for beauty."
Beautiful.
His mouth was dry despite the many gulps of lemonade and water. His pulse had not settled for well over two days, shortening every breath as he walked. It took every bit of concentration to keep the vase steady and out of sight. You're… beautiful. I just wanted to say that, because I don't know if I'll ever have the chance again.
"No, that's lame," Shinji muttered. "She's been quiet lately."
The morning had gifted him with the sight of a flushed Asuka pushing him away in a haste and marching over to the room. She fell sleep, he words felt triumphant in some way. She looked so… calm, like she was having a good dream.
"I wanted to give these to you." The vase was pushed towards an invisible, glaring redhead. "You can throw them away if you like. I know it's a stupid thing, because they'll just wither away, anyway. But…"
But what, Idiot? A single caerulean eye narrowed. Spit it out.
"I think I like you."
Something was amiss. The declaration felt honest and heartfelt, so what was the problem? It feels natural, Shinji discovered as the ruins came into view. It's like saying plants need water to survive, or that the sky is blue in the village. I like you, Asuka. I don't care about any curse, or about staying like this forever. That just means I'll be able to make up for these fourteen years. This 'curse', I'm grateful for it.
"Horrible, horrible. That'll make her angry," Shinji kicked a nearby pebble out the way. Frustration began to settle in once a seventy-sixth speech was rendered useless and discarded. "Everybody says to just be honest. Be honest, and sound like an idiot. Like a brat. Ugh."
Different scenarios kept playing in his mind with such intensity that he barely registered reaching his first destination. The vase was hidden away in a corner near the ration center. Once he reached the ruins and went to pick up his fishing rod, Shinji saw the blue flowers resting on the cup Rei had gifted him.
"I remember these," he whispered. His fingers caressed the small petals, instantly recalling big crimson eyes staring at him fondly, a gentle smile and strands of blue dancing in the wind. "Forget-me-nots."
"They symbolize respect, fidelity, and true love."
Shinji turned to see Rei standing a few feet from him. How had he not seen her before? "Rei!" he exclaimed. "They're beautiful! Are they… uhm.. f-for m-"
"Yes," she interjected softly. "They are for you. Miss Horaki explained that this is a fine gift to those you hold dear."
Blood rushed to Shinji's face instantly. "Thank you," he offered with a nervous bow. "I… don't really know what to say. Nobody's ever given me flowers before."
"Then, I am glad to be the first to do so," Rei answered, smile broadening. "I will remember you always, Shinji."
Only then did Shinji notice how heavy the air had become. His chest constricted. An invisible fist dug into his guts. "Remember? What do you mean?"
"I wanted to harvest the rice," she carried on. Shinji's chest filled with all-encompassing despair. "I wanted to see the Idiot and the Brat trees grow, and bear fruit. I wanted to hear Ryoji boast more about his watermelon field."
Her plugsuit, Shinji's eyes widened in horror. It was always black. Why is it… it's the same as Ayanami's.
Without Rei saying a word, he knew what was about to happen. "No," Shinji begged. His feet dragged closer to her. "No, wait."
"I wanted to spend more time with the boy I like." Her eyes turned to the corner. Shinji's desperate gaze followed, noticing Asuka standing by the wall. For once, her eye displayed sadness. Rei smiled regardless. "I wanted to see Shinji smile more, and build more, and be happy with the Second Child. But what I have received is much greater."
His hand was about to reach her when Asuka's arms snaked around his chest. He struggled under her hold. "Asuka! What are y-stop! Let me go! Let me g-"
"Shinji, Asuka. Take care of each other." Rei said. He stropped struggling at once. "You are not alone, and that makes me happy." Her warm gaze fixed his. "Through the memories of those who love us, we never disappear. This is but a promise to see each other again." She closed her eyes, smile never leaving her calm features. "Goodbye."
The collar of Rei's plugsuit glistened, and a second afterwards her body burst into liquid form.
"Rei!"
Asuka released him. Shinji dashed to the suit, still not able to fully digest what had happened. Once the dripping material was held in between his fingers, however, reality settled in. A tiny red cross shone atop the plugsuit for a few heartbeats, then faded with the breeze. She was gone.
They remained quiet for a long time. The huddle of penguins encircled them, with the leader practically pushing Asuka forward until she stood next to him.
"I was going to play the song for her today," Shinji mumbled as bitter tears ran down his face. "I wanted to promise her we'd harvest the rice together, all of us…"
Why? Why did this have to happen? Why did she just disappear like that?
"The Ayanami Series was purposely created to require constant exposure to LCL," Asuka explained, as though having read his mind. "She knew from the moment she climbed out of the Entry Plug that her time was limited. After a certain time, being so far from Lilith will corrode their bodies."
"Could we have… could I have done something?" Shinji asked, desperate. "If the Wunder landed, if I tried to get Unit 01 to work and get the LCL from my father, could I have-"
"Prolonged her life a little. Hours, days at best, but nothing could have stopped this. She was never meant to survive."
Rage bristled in Shinji's ribcage, but quenched almost instantly as he realized just how low his father was willing to stoop. Seconds before, Rei's smile had been brightening the day, and now it lived only in his memory.
"Come on." Asuka's hand gave his shoulder a solid pat. "There's still time until that hunk of junk lands. Let's go make sure she can watch the harvest."
She carried the cup in silence, letting the scent ease a newly opened wound.
Kensuke walked beside her, with Hikari, Tsubame, Toji, Ryoji, Koga and most of the female workers in tow. Shinji walked ahead of the group with the folded plugsuit in his hold. He'd sniffle and rub at his eyes, yet did not break into tears again. Nobody spoke.
Just when I was starting to feel something besides fatigue and anger, Asuka thought. Her gaze remained hard and unyielding. The idiot needed strength at the moment. There would be time aplenty to rage at Gendo Ikari soon. Of course it would be like this. Have a taste of what living feels like, just so you can miss it, Asuka.
It came as a surprise that Shinji had not asked her of Rei's demise, and if she knew of it. He's grown up, she realized. Idiot figured out it wouldn't have made a difference. It would've just made him gloom around Rei. The Major shook her head in derision. Fool. Even then, you were protecting him. That's why it felt so disgusting to fight him. That's why you were so angry. Admit it.
"Maybe later," she murmured, too quietly for anyone to hear.
The group came to a stop atop the hill where Shinji would sit and converse with Rei. The forest, mountains and rice fields stretched all around, with the scent of wet earth carrying through the wind. Toji and Kensuke started digging without being told to, and a new grave was erected in less time than she would have liked.
After bowing their heads in prayer, the group began to dissipate. Ryoji gave Shinji a strong hug, and left a small watermelon sprout near the grave before running off. Tsubame's cries reverberated as the Horaki family walked away.
"I can't help but feel this is all my fault. All she wanted was to be alive, to learn and be close to me," Shinji lamented quietly. "I guess it's like a curse with my father and I. Anyone who comes close… ends up getting hurt."
"Getting hurt?" Asuka threw caution to the wind and slammed her fist hard against Shinji's shoulder. He almost topped over to the ground, and looked at her in shock. "That's what's going to happen if you start acting like a brat again. How do you think Rei would feel if she heard you sputter this nonsense right after she's gone, huh?"
Agony and wrath were pressing against her own chest, quickly eclipsed by regret. Again, he surprised her; Shinji nodded, wiped away the remnants of tears from his eyes, and got to his feet.
"Thank you," he told her, offering a sad smile. "I needed that."
"Whatever." Asuka turned away and started walking towards the village. "The ship's landing soon. I'm going."
She had already taken several steps when his voice halted Asuka in her tracks.
"Asuka!" Shinji quickly caught up to her. "Wait up!"
He could stay, be safe in the village and heal some more. He could watch over Rei grave and help Ryoji with the stupid watermelons. He could make sure the brat trees were not eaten by plagues. Everything would be easier if he just stayed. So why did hearing his footfalls make her feel so accomplished, even proud?
"What?" She tried to summon some bite in her tone, to no avail. "There's about three hours left."
"This won't take long, I hope," he replied. Asuka saw him play with something in his jacket pocket, and remembered it was where he kept the roundel lately. "I'd like to say my farewells to the penguins. I can't tell how many times they helped me get lunch, or dinner. Can I meet you by the ration center in a little while?"
"Creepy birds," Asuka grumbled, crossed her arms and huffed. "Not like it was me they were fond of. I have stuff to do. Wait, what do you mean, say your farewells? Where the hell are you talking about?"
"I'd like to go with you." Shinji stated. They headed towards the village, side by side. "To the Wunder."
Shaking her head in derision, Asuka pointed to his neck. "They're just going to put you in a cage. You should stay here."
"You're probably right, but," he said. His voice was steel, determined and level. "I want to go with you, anyway."
She bit her lip to suppress a smile. Shinji's resolve felt like water being poured on the seed of hope that grew within her soul. "Heh." Asuka gave his shoulder a light push. "You're an idiot."
"But not a brat?"
Not anymore, you're not, Asuka thought. "We'll see," she said instead. "I need to go pick up a few things at the house. See you in thirty minutes."
Shinji set up to the ruins after trying to offer a smile and failing. "Tch, stupid grumpy bird," grumbled Asuka. "Still don't know what its problem was."
Heading back to the old train station was inevitable. The dictionary, jacket and her own roundel were still there. Don't forget about your pathetic little plush toy, either, rasped the Major snidely. We're walking to our funeral with the idiot in tow, best to take your stupid good luck charm along, eh?
The book and jacket were easy to find, always in the place above the sheets where Shinji left them. Asuka took several glances left and right, closed her eye and heard for any noise before producing one of the clay cups from the military coat. Rummaging through the old closet, she found a school shirt left behind almost a decade before, and used it to wrap the cup and plush safely.
Where is it? Her eye narrowed, nostrils flaring. After checking the house twice and flipping over the mattress, one object was still missing. Where is my roundel? I swear, if that idiot had the nerve to take it, I'll be-
"Looking for this?"
Kensuke said from the door. Asuka stopped in her tracks and glared at the village leader. He held that old camera of his in his right hand, and in his left, the small medal Shinji longed to earn.
Self-consciousness made her turn away. "Why are you filming me? What the hell?"
"It's an important day for mankind!" Kensuke answered. "I want to have video footage of our heroes. Is that so wrong?"
"Yeah right." She hid her face under the hoodie. "Whatever, Ken-Ken."
To her satisfaction, Kensuke's step faltered at the venom in her voice. "If something… bad were to happen," he expressed with a quieter, somber tone. "I'd like to have a little memento of the people I care about."
"Ugh, fine." Asuka faced the camera lens and strained to keep her glare, yet it melted in seconds. He's right. This could be the last time we see each other. "Make sure the barrier stands as long as possible. The battle will be far from here, but those Wanderers keep coming closer."
"I'll keep them safe as best I can, that's a promise. I know you'll protect us. You always do." Kensuke produced a letter and handed it over along with the roundel. "From Toji, for Sakura. Can you do an old man a favor and give this to her? Maybe it'll help her state of mind."
"Fat chance of that," Asuka responded. She pocketed both objects, allowing a small, honest smile to slip off her mask. "Thanks. For everything."
"It was my honor, Shikinami." They exchanged a heartfelt handshake and a brief embrace. "Told you he'd go with you," the man teased. "Can you stop being angry with me now?"
Asuka pushed him away and crossed her arms. "Can you tell me why I'm angry with you?"
"Shinji could have easily gotten hurt, or lost his life in that stupid incident," Kensuke replied. "That kitchen, those cups, it was like a small shrine. Somewhere sacred, somewhere you felt at home, and it was almost tainted because of my stupidity."
"Guess you're not as dumb as you look." Asuka nodded, turning to the car. "I need a ride to the village. Move it, you."
"Aye, aye, Major."
Before leaving the house, Asuka carefully stored the dictionary and jacket in her bag. The last word Shinji had underlined in red rang on her mind. Bond, she mused. To form a close relation, a strong feeling of friendship, love, or shared beliefs and experiences that unites two or more people.
"It's just a little while. Just a second, okay? No need to worry! I'll be right back. What do you mean, it's dangerous? You raised me! I'll be fine!"
Ryoji argued with nobody as he sprinted towards the back of the ship. The letter he had left on the table was detailed enough; Viko would understand. The man rambled endlessly about his own big brother, yet rarely said a word about his parents.
"My mother was very pretty and sweet, that's about all I remember. They died when I was still very young."
"Well, my mother is still alive and kicking, and I am sure as hell gonna give her a piece of my mind," he muttered with determination. "Whether she likes it or not, I'm gonna give her a piece of my mind. Yeah."
The ship came into view, so Ryoji crouched like Viko had taught him and began to maneuver through the tall grass and vegetation, hidden from sight. There was a small gap in the security detail handling the seeds. If he timed everything correctly, he could sneak in without anyone noticing.
"Twenty-seven, twenty- eight," he counted in a whisper. "Twenty-eight seconds between every turn of the guard. Just need a little head star-"
"Hey, what's up."
Ryoji almost jumped in shock, which would have given away his position. "Viko, what the hell…!" he whispered tersely. "What are you doing here?"
"What are you doing here, hmm?" His guardian rebuked, pointing to his backpack. "That's mine, I never said you could borrow it."
"Come on, don't do this," Ryoji argued in an almost pleading tone. "Don't take this away from me. You… you have no right to!" Anger quickly settled in, and all notions of being spotted were forgotten. "This is my one chance! You can't possibly underst-"
"I understand perfectly," Viko interrupted him, and drew Ryoji into a fierce embrace. "I'm not here to stop you. I just wanted to see you off."
Relief washed over. Ryoji's arms wrapped around Viko's and squeezed as tight as he could. "Thank you," he said. "You're the best brother anyone could ever hope for. I'll be right back, okay? Then we'll have dinner, and joke about how Shinji finally had the guts to give Asuka those flowers. How's that?"
Viko's body trembled, raising all sorts of alarms in his head. All too late did Ryoji realize the arm slowly sneaking around his neck, or the way his airway constricted. He tried to struggle and break free, but only managed to sink deeper into the submission hold.
"I'm sorry, Ryoji." Viko murmured. "But I already lost a brother, and I'm not losing you. You will meet your mother, you have my word."
The boy's body went limp in seconds. Viko handed him over to Toji, wiping away the tears. "Watch over my trees, will you? They like to be serenated at night, when the weather's good."
"I'll do my best, although my singing leaves a lot to be desired," Toji answered. "What's your actual name?"
"Does it matter?" Viko laughed, gathered the backpack Ryoji had been carrying and headed to the ship. "It's like saying the title 'Second' or 'Third Child' matter. I'm Viko. That's the name my home gave me."
The man's figure disappeared behind tall grass and trees, as though he'd never been there at all.
"We all believe in you, Shinji." Toji placed the unconscious boy on his back, and started walking back to the village. The battle was about to begin. "Even Asuka, more than you can possibly know."
Just as the children and elders were safely inside the shelter, a rumble shook all of Village-3.
Unit 01 had awakened.
The relentless wind outside the barrier could be heard from afar.
Shinji's head turned to the sky for a moment, watching stoically as one section of the barrier lowered for barely enough time for a large ship to make port. Many of the wooden radio poles collapsed under the ferocious currents coming from both the engines and tremors shaking the earth. He shielded the delicate bundle with his back and braced behind a wall to keep it unharmed.
From afar, he saw Asuka step down from the one tower sturdy enough to resist the landing. This is it, Rei. Kaworu. Ayanami. Give me strength, he pleaded. If he stopped focusing on the task at hand, grief was sure to consume him. One last chance to make her smile. Once you climb on that ship, everything will change. You have to be ready for it, you have to be strong. Earn. Earn, Shinji.
"I'm not blind, idiot," Asuka said from behind him. Her voice shocked him to the point of almost dropping the vase. She pointed to the landing dock. "My ride's here. Are you coming or not?"
"I am," he mumbled, took a deep breath and faced her. "This is for you." He measuredly walked towards her. "I just…" Extending the gift to her, Shinji finally managed a smile. "I felt like giving these to you."
Asuka's gaze switched from surprise, to suspicion and finally settled in light amusement. She practically snatched the vase from him and shifted away so the eyepatch was facing him. Even so, he saw it. She smiled.
Victory.
"Idiot," Asuka rasped. Her fingers brusquely traced the petals, then gently placed the vase on the ground. "Come here."
Shinji did as instructed, and almost jolted out of his own skin when Asuka's arm circled around him and pushed them into a half-hug. "Uhm, I…" His arm awkwardly wrapped around her shoulders. After a few tense heartbeats, he relaxed and melted into the embrace. "I think I lik-"
"You're still coming, right?" Asuka interjected softly, breaking away. He nodded despite the dread building in his core. The taser pressed against Shinji's stomach. "Save that for later, then."
A pair of scalding needles pressed against his abdomen, releasing a massive shockwave. Shinji's body convulsed and his eyes closed, yet he never felt himself hit the ground.
To Be Continued…
AN: And there it is! My eternal gratitude to the legends MisterHalt, Pilot_Fair and Su_Exodus for the time they spend proofing and correcting these chapters. Truly means the world to me, let's hear it for these legends!
Again, I sorry if sucked. I didn't really want to end the village part of this story, since it's, to me, the most beautiful part and the most unexplored within the Rebuild canon. I added the zappity zap at the end because of reasons. Trust. It will pay off. I hope, I think, I believe.
So… lots of things happening, lots more to come! Stay tuned for moar! And thank you! Thank you so much for taking a lil time off your day to read this story of mine! You're amazing, whoever you are. If ya feel like it, you can drop a review with your thoughts! Good? Bad? I'd love to hear them!
Please remember to stay healthy, do your cardio, be nice to doggos and kitties, and eat your veggies!
PEACE.
