My apologies for the lengthier wait time on this one. It was, for a great many reasons, a very difficult chapter to write.


Chapter 38: Necessary Evils

When I first began to put this plan together it was rather simple. Sure, some of the finer details had their fair share of complications, but the broad strokes of the plan weren't particularly complicated. Emmeryn gives her speech, then jumps, same as I remember from the game. From there I just have to stop the fall from killing her and sneak her away without anyone noticing. Obviously in practise that's far easier said than done, but I've always felt the best plans start from simple foundations.

Unfortunately no matter how good a plan is failure can come all too easily when the odds are as stacked against a person as they are against me now. Case in point: Emmeryn's been not dead for a couple of minutes at the most and somebody's already found out about it.

As news goes, this is about as bad as it gets. Libra's devotion to the Exalt makes him a powerful ally, as I saw earlier against the Deadlord. But it also causes problems in situations like this. The man is as loyal as can be, but that pious nature of his can lead to inflexibility sometimes as well. He is a servant of good, first and foremost. And that means he'll cause problems when he finds out what comes next.

After internally tearing my hair out at the sight of the newcomer though, I force myself to shove that particular point aside. What comes next is a matter for later; I have to focus on what's happening now.

The courtyard is still burning.

Screams can still be heard, and blasts of lightning are flying through the air overhead, recognizable more by the booming peals of thunder that follow than by the light. It's damn near impossible to see anything around here anymore, lightning included, thanks to the suffocating smoke hanging heavy over everything as Henry's magical fire spreads about.

Hopefully it's impossible to hear anything over this racket as well; Libra's outburst wasn't the loudest thing, but it wasn't exactly quiet either.

Speaking of the monk, he's giving me a pretty dangerous look right now. It honestly takes me a moment to realise what has him so upset, before I finally untangle myself from my thoughts enough to remember that I'm still holding Emmeryn in my arms, a hand still firmly clamped over her mouth to prevent her from crying out further.

"Right." I mutter, drawing Emmeryn closer. "Listen carefully. I'm going to let go of you, but I need you to be absolutely silent. Not a word from you, or else this will all have been for nothing. Understand?"

She nods shakily, and I let go, moving past her to Libra. "Same goes for you. You're fucking things up by being here and I don't need you running your mouth right now. The Exalt is dead. We have to move on. Quickly, and without saying anything stupid."

Libra stares suspiciously at me, but relents quickly enough. "I understand."

It's a load off my shoulders, even if I know this attitude isn't likely to last for long. "Good. Now then, since you're here I need you to dig up…" I look around the area until I manage to spot a dune nearby that's the right size. "That pile over there. If I'm right my companion should have left something we need there."

"And you?" Libra asks cautiously.

"Getting everything else ready." I reply. "Which reminds me, first thing's first." I pull out my spellbook and launch a yellow flare spell over the western wall of the courtyard. "Hopefully that will get clear of the smoke. And dissuade anyone else from trying to play hero."

Libra gives me a resentful look at the jab, but moves to the dune and starts digging. I move to stand next to Emmeryn and gesture to one side. She moves in the direction I indicate, staying low to the ground so as to avoid smoke as well as unwanted attention. I blow aside the sand in the area where Emmeryn was standing, revealing a magic circle carved into the stone. Henry's going to blow this thing to shit not long from now, but I'm not letting anyone find a piece and get ideas about building a jigsaw puzzle.

Luckily there's plenty of sand around to work with. It's the work of a simple Elwind to whip things up enough to serve as a makeshift sandblaster. I don't go much for precision, focusing instead on just wearing down everything in the area. The carving was shallow, and so doesn't take much work to be rendered illegible. One good thing to be said for Libra being here, it means I have the time to do this properly.

"Right, now that nobody can read this and see what Henry's been up to…" I mutter, looking back to Libra. Emmeryn's moved to help dig as well, which… isn't ideal, honestly. The extra set of hands is helpful, but it means a pretty bad shock to her when they find the two corpses buried there. One man, one woman, roughly matching the builds of myself and Emmeryn. And both are considerably fresher than I asked. Apparently Henry decided to be a piece of shit and insist on authenticity, the absolute bastard. The girl even looks like she's been pushed from a high place, just to add that extra touch of realism.

"God damn it." I sigh as I approach. "I should have guessed he'd pull this shit."

Emmeryn stares at me horrified, looking like she wants to shout at me but is barely holding herself together.

"Ben." Libra says in an angry but level tone. "What is the meaning of this?"

"Body doubles." I reply, dragging the girl's body over to where Emmeryn had originally fallen. "If Gangrel doesn't find Emmeryn's corpse at the end of all this he's just going to start this shit over again. The guy is for me, since I made a big show of running around in here."

Libra's expression twists into something ugly and furious for a brief moment, before settling into defeat. "I suppose it is a necessary evil. And this is no time to argue."

"You'll get your chance soon enough." I reply grouchily, arranging the girl as closely as I can to my memory of the position Emmeryn fell in. Thankfully her cloak had covered much of the body, so I have some leeway. Speaking of which… "You have proper clothing under that robe?" I ask, looking Emmeryn in the eyes.

She gives me a surprised look which swiftly turns to realization, and she pulls the cloak from her shoulders. I arrange the cloak, then look back once more. "I'm also going to need your…" I blink as Emmeryn holds her headpiece up to my face. "Uhh, yeah, that. Thanks." I take it from her hand, and get a shaky looking smile.

I may not think much of Emmeryn's ability as a politician, but god damn the woman is strong. It gives me hope that I may still be able to make this work despite Libra's intrusion. Speaking of which, Libra is… moving my double to a better spot. These two are certainly quick on the uptake. Which is good because I'm not sure how much longer Henry can keep his shit up.

Though between the fireballs still flying through the air and the mad cackling still echoing throughout the courtyard even over the sound of fire and screaming, I think Henry is very much still enjoying himself. Good for him.

"Alright, you two, the exit is…" I look around, until I see one door conspicuously untouched by the flames. "Over there. Wait by the door for me." I gesture. Then, taking not of how goddamn bright the two look with their white clothes and bright blonde hair, decide to add another step. "Rub some soot into everything while you're there, the both of you are way too goddamn bright. You'll stick out like sore thumbs."

"And what will you be doing?" Libra asks, giving me another suspicious look.

"Fixing the bodies." I reply, pulling out my spellbook and calling a ball of fire to my hand. "That man doesn't much look like me, and the girl sure as shit doesn't look much like Emmeryn."

"You can't mean-" Emmeryn gasps in horror, only to catch herself as I glare sternly at her.

"The courtyard isn't just on fire to hide everything we've been doing." I explain. "It also makes for a good explanation as to why the Exalt's corpse will be turning up a little blackened."

"You'd desecrate their corpses!?" Libra growls. "That's monstrous! How could you think of doing such a thing?"

"You said it yourself. Necessary evil." I snap. "You might want to get out of here before it gets messy. I've got a lot of bodies to burn."

"I cannot condone this Ben!"

"Noted." I reply, dropping the fireball onto the body at my feet. "Now fuck off."

Libra's eyes widen as he sees what I've done, and his hand twitches towards his axe. But he catches himself immediately, looking almost ashamed for his frustrations. Emmeryn stares down at the burning body, clasps her hands briefly in prayer, before tugging Libra along gently.

"What the fuck did they think was going to happen?" I mutter as they head towards the door, sending me reproachful looks all the while. "The girl wasn't even blonde." I move to my own double and light that body up as well. "Rest in peace, dude. Sorry Henry decided to murder you on my account."

The smell of burning bodies is… indescribable. Needless to say I'm thankful once more that I puked up everything I could earlier. Still, there are several times as I move around and light the bodies on fire that I'm forced to stop and dry heave. My pace quickens as I move, noting Henry's laughter growing less frequent. At one point I even hear him cry out in pain, and conclude hastily that I've burned enough of the bodies in the area that Emmeryn's blackened corpse won't look too suspicious in comparison. Time to call it here.

I rush back to check Emmeryn's double. It's ugly. Barely recognizable. The cloak is little more than scraps now, and the headpiece has been melted by heat and fused to her skull. I blast the corpse with flames one last time for good measure, spend several crucial seconds retching, and finally collect my shit enough for the final step. A blue flare, launched into the smoky balcony where Henry is fighting.

Then I start running like a madman for the exit. And Henry, having seen the flare, starts yelling something about evil butchers I can't quite make out, and blasts the ground where Emmeryn 'died' with spellfire. A Bolganone, to be precise, the most powerful fire spell I know of that isn't considered a legendary fucking weapon, and therefore hits with enough power to tear the ground apart and send stone flying everywhere.

Normally this wouldn't actually be a problem. After all, the goal is to tear everything apart down here so there isn't any trace left of what Henry and I pulled. But whether it's because Henry's actually feeling pressured or because he's just a little shit, he fires immediately instead of waiting five seconds like he was supposed to. My money is on him just being an asshole. In the brief time I've known Henry I've found that to be a very safe guess.

I take a rock to the fucking back and my shirt is lit on fire. Both of these things involve a fair bit of pain and panic, very loud screaming, and a lot of rolling around on the ground. I recover quickly, all things considered, but the clothing does not. I'm forced to rejoin Emmeryn and Libra shirtless, with what remains of my leather armor being tossed into one of the many fires burning. To their credit, they seem genuinely worried, even if they aren't the happiest with me right now.

"Here Ben, let me-"

"Leave it." I snap, feeling damn near my last nerve. "It hurts like a bitch but it isn't slowing me down any. We can't waste any more time."

"You're certain?"

I scoff, throwing the door open and gesturing inside. "That may be the one fucking thing I am certain of at this point. Henry should be leaving now, which means the fire won't last. Without him giving them power they have no way to burn, lord knows sand isn't flammable on its own. And when those fires are gone this courtyard is going to be swept with a fine toothed fucking comb, so we need to be long gone by then. So move it, and for fuck's sake, no more fucking questions until I say so!"


So. What comes next? The rescue is complete. The cover-up is complete. We still have to escape, but with Gangrel still baying for the blood of the rest of the Ylissean royal family I don't expect much trouble in that regard. His attention remains fixed firmly outward.

No, what worries me at this point isn't the escape. It's what comes after we've left the capital behind that worries me.

Because Emmeryn can't be allowed to return to Ylisse.

And neither she nor Libra are likely to accept that.

My only chance of keeping things on course now is to convince the two of them though, so I have to figure out a way to do so. Well, speaking from a purely detached, logical standpoint, the easiest thing to do would be to kill Libra and continue with the original plan. I'm not a fucking robot though, so I'm going to have to use my words instead. The horror.

I can only think on the matter for so long before I have to focus though. It's one thing to let my mind wander as we creep through the shadows at the base of the cliff overlooking the courtyard. It's a wholly different story to let my attention drift as we approach the capital. I have to pick the entrance we take carefully, or else Henry's directions will be all but useless.

Plegia's capital, Dolgrim, is divided into four tiers, so to speak. The highest tier is the capital, at the top of the cliff overlooking the courtyard. A long road divides Castle Plegia from the rest of Dolgrim, with the castle at the peak and the city at the base. Closest to the base is the area for all the rich folk, where all the Plegian nobles live. Then there are the merchants, who have claimed every scrap of land along the main road that hasn't been taken by nobles, and the workers who basically keep the city running, both basically existing in the same tier, so to speak.

The main road of Dolgrim, where the nobles and merchants congregate, cuts vertically through the eastern half of the city. This is because the river runs along the eastern edge, the opposite shore being owned entirely by the Grimleal and considered separate from the city itself. And so Dolgrim is rather unique, in that its poverty line takes a rather uniquely literal meaning. There is a line drawn between the eastern and western halves of the city, marked by a thick stone wall. Those on the eastern half of the city are the valued of society, the employed, the ones with access to clean water.

And on the western half of the city lie the slums.

According to the books I read on Dolgrim during my many study sessions with Robin, I learned a great deal about Dolgrim. Apparently the divide wasn't always this bad. Once the slums were not even half this size, and happy, fulfilled people could be found on either side of the wall. The western half of the city was a place of growth, of hope. A city doing well enough to expand itself beyond its original limits and flourish even in the middle of the desert.

But that was before the local mines ran dry. Before the river began to grow low from years of drought. Before Chrom's father attempted a genocidal campaign that tore the eastern half of Plegia apart. Now as jobs are lost the poor and unemployed grow in number, threatening more and more with every passing year to spill past the wall and turn yet more of the city into slums.

A tragic situation, to be sure. But one that works well for us now. Because as the slums grow the western half of the city becomes almost labyrinthine in nature; a twisted mess of alleyways and makeshift tents and buildings torn down and rebuilt and torn down again. A disaster of an area, barely regulated by the Plegian guard, conveniently close to the courtyard.

The perfect place to lay low for a little while and catch my fucking breath. If I can somehow get a bit of time to spare once the arguing is done.

It's slow going through the slums, with the three of us creeping our way along inch by inch, attempting to avoid unfriendly eyes as much as we possibly can. Does it work? Probably not. But hopefully those watching don't see anything but a few grimy looking assholes. Lord knows we're filthy enough to fit in around here. I'm probably the one who stands out the most, with my weapons and the bag on my waist where my spellbook is hidden. Large bags and larger weapons aren't typical slum-dweller fare.

I took Libra's things as well for that reason, strapping the axe to my back and wrapping the staff in rags to disguise it. One excessively armed man should attract attention a bit less than two armed people escorting a woman. If we do run into trouble Libra should still be able to handle it. From what Felicity has told me the man is no stranger to unarmed combat.

…And now I'm realizing that Felicity is just one more part of this whole mess that needs to be considered. Another piece to consider amongst the hundreds I've already thought of, and no doubt thousands that have yet to occur to me. Fuck my life, why did I decide to start fucking with the timeline again?

…Right. Because I failed Cordelia completely and utterly and made up my mind to stop being passive with this shit.

Remember her tears. Remember that feeling of failure.

Remember your determination to never sit idly again.

I steel myself, emerging from one final alleyway and walking up to a small house whose door is marked with blood. The sigil of Grima, painted over with a bloody handprint. The symbol Henry and I agreed on. "We're here."

Libra notes the sign on the door and gives me another distrustful look. "You can't seriously be expecting us to go in there…"

"It's either that or you stay out here in the street and die like a dog." I say calmly. "I don't think either of us wants that right now. Or ever, really." I open the door, stepping inside and to the side of the entrance, gesturing with one hand. "Come on. We can talk properly inside."

Emmeryn needs no further convincing. Figures. For a woman whose greatest weapon is her voice, I have little doubt forcing herself to remain silent throughout all of this has been nothing short of torturous. And her complete lack of hesitation drives Libra to follow. A useful thing, that. Libra's goals are absolute at this point. He will stand by Emmeryn as a guardian no matter what. Which means that his opinion is irrelevant. Only one person needs convincing today, and the other will follow.

I close the door swiftly as the two enter, and turn around just in time to see Henry walk from the kitchen entrance into the sitting room. The boy has the same slasher grin as usual, though his robes are looking rather scorched, and I'm not convinced all the blood covering him is from other people. "Ah good, you're here!" He says cheerily, the air around him lighting up with a purple glow. "Let me just take care of the extra so we can move on to the next step."

Extra? Oh fuck. "Henry!" I bark out just a moment too late, as a blast of purple flames rushes across the room towards Libra.

I take a step towards them, but find my arms suddenly filled with Exalt as Libra throws Emmeryn towards me. He doesn't give me so much as a second glance, showing complete trust that I'll do what it takes to protect her as he faces death. A part of me is deeply touched by the fact that he still has such faith in me even after what's happened. That part is already buried though, put in the same place I've compartmentalized all my doubts.

This is a good thing. It means my emotions stay completely out of the picture as I steady Emmeryn and quickly move to intercept. I don't have time to do much of course, by the time I've begun to reach for my spellbook the fire has already reached Libra. Libra shows little concern though, holding his hands up to the violet blaze resolutely. There's a flash of white light and the fire is stopped, though Libra looks far from healthy. If I were to make a guess on the spot, I'd say he cast a ward spell without his staff but couldn't put enough power in with just his hands.

Libra doesn't let that stop him, sweeping the lingering remnants of flame aside to snuff out in the air. He crosses the room in several huge strides, grabbing Henry by the throat and lifting the boy into the air. Henry, for his part, looks awed despite the crushing force against his windpipe, staring down at Libra in fascination even as his hand raises to blast the monk into oblivion while his hand is occupied. Mutually assured destruction between the Grimleal and the War Monk, in a scene that would make any zealot weep with emotion.

By that point though I've abandoned thoughts of spellcasting and have rushed in on Libra's heels. The last fucking thing I need is for two of the only resources I have to go killing each other off in a place like this. A situation like this calls…

THUNK! "GODS!"

…For somebody to slap some sense into people. A role I am all to happy to fulfill. Times like these I could use that sort of catharsis, frankly. And really, I've always wanted to knock a couple of people's heads together.

Henry falls to the ground in a daze, gasping for breath even as his eyes flit about the ceiling with no semblance of focus. Libra rubs at the spot where his forehead collided with Henry's irritably, shooting me a sullen look. "Why in Naga's good name would you do that?"

"Because I don't want you two to kill each other, obviously." I reply with a roll of my eyes, stepping past him to lean over Henry as he lies on his back. "Oi. Henry. No nuking the priest."

"Not even a little bit?" Henry asks faintly, still looking dizzy.

"Nope. I happen to like this guy."

"Hey, me too!" Henry grins, sitting up unsteadily. He looks over at Libra. "I liked that thing you did with your axe. But this is way cooler. How'd you make four of you like that?"

"There's only one Libra Henry. You're just suffering from a lack of oxygen." I reply bemusedly. A moment's thought has me adding, "Also possible head trauma."

"So that's why I feel all fuzzy…" Henry says thoughtfully, before chuckling to himself. "Nya ha hah. Neaaat."

I clap my hands together loudly, opening my mouth to address the room before stopping and turning back to Henry. "Hey. Henry. We're soundproof, right?" I receive a shaky nod in reply and turn back to the others. "Cool. Emmeryn, Libra, this is Henry, Grimleal traitor and talented dark mage. He was instrumental in helping this little rescue mission happen. Henry, Exalt Emmeryn of Ylisse, and War Monk Libra of the church of Naga."

There's a moment of silence as Libra stares at me in disbelief and Henry sways on the floor before Emmeryn ventures a hesitant, "It's nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too!" Henry replies cheerfully, holding a hand to his head to steady himself. "How are you feeling? Any weird side effects from my spell? Chest pains? Difficulty speaking? Boiling blood? Oh, please tell me your blood is boiling right now!"

"Mine might be." Libra mutters under his breath irritably.

"No, no side effects that I can feel." Emmeryn replies, a bit unnerved. "As far as I can tell I'm completely healthy."

Henry makes a disappointed noise at that. "Oh well, I suppose there's always next time. And I guess you being healthy was the point of that ritual." He mutters something under his breath that I can't quite make out.

"You… guess?" Emmeryn blinks, turning to me. "Ben, what sort of ritual was this? You said before that you used dark magic to save me, did you not?"

"You did what?" Libra whirls on me, horrified.

"I used dark magic to save the Exalt." I reply with a roll of my eyes. "Do try to keep up Libra, if you keep questioning every goddamn part of this plan the Plegian Guard will have rounded us up before I'm halfway done."

"How could you do such a thing!?" Libra cries, completely ignoring what I felt was a very good point. "Dark magic is not something to be trifled with so lightly!"

"Lightly?" I snort, gesturing to Henry. "I recruited one of the best dark mages in Plegia to do this."

"How can you even think of trusting-" Libra is abruptly cut off as he gets a bit too close to my face and I clap a hand over his mouth. He slaps my hand aside, glaring at me indignantly, but I've already used the opening to start speaking.

"To answer your question, Lady Emmeryn. The ritual we used to save you is a failed Grimleal experiment. The goal was to invent a spell capable of granting immortality, standard power hungry lunatic shit, you know? And as most of these experiments tend to go… it was an almost laughable failure. The spell can stop death, but only within the radius of the circle, and only for very specific injuries. It doesn't work on poison, old age, dismemberment, burning, decapitation, evisceration, disease…" I smirk. "I could go on, but basically it completely failed to stop all of the most likely causes of death for a bigshot in this world. In fact, a broken neck is one of the few things it can actually stop properly."

"Also stabbing." Henry adds, looking thoughtful. "And strangulation. Internal decapitation. Suffocation. Internal hemorrhaging. Death by Nosferatu, though that one really seems like it shouldn't apply."

"Nosferatu, really?" I look back at Henry curiously.

"They confirmed it three times during testing." Henry shrugs. "I don't know why it works, but it works."

"Wild." I muse, before shaking my head to get myself back on track. "Anyways, it can't stop any of the big stuff, and what it can stop usually involves somebody being up close and personal, which means they can just kill you again properly. It's basically so specific that it's completely useless. Which is why I designed a whole plan around it obviously."

"This may be the first time that spell has done anything useful ever." Henry chuckles.

"It still seems incredibly convenient." Emmeryn muses. "You could set the spell in dangerous locations to save a person's life should they fall. On mountain paths, perhaps."

Henry looks personally insulted for a moment. "Why would you want to do something like that!? Think of the deaths you're depriving the world of! The amazing splatters of people crashing into the rocks! The explosions of blood!"

"Or, consider that the spell requires blood to activate." I interject, stepping in front of Henry to draw Emmeryn and Libra's attention away from being horrified at him.

"Blood?" Emmeryn says, looking suddenly very pale in spite of the burns across her face.

"Yeah." I reply, feeling my heart sink as I reveal the truth. "It's like… equivalent exchange. One life is worth one life."

"The body double wasn't enough?" Libra asks, looking horrified. "How many lives have you extinguished for this rescue?"

It's an interesting question for a number of reasons. I hum thoughtfully as I mull it over. "Really, just the body doubles. I think. There might be a few more Plegian guards dead than there would have been without my input, but that's a hard thing to say for sure. As for everything else…" I shrug, throwing my arms wide. "I'm mostly just putting resources to use that would have been there anyways."

"You're speaking in riddles." Emmeryn says. "But even still the implications do not paint what you've done in a positive light. Are you suggesting you sacrificed people soon to die? The sick then? The elderly?"

"The martyrs. The soldiers." I reply coolly. "Tell me, what do you know of fate?"

Emmeryn and Libra look at each other uneasily. Libra speaks first. "You're speaking of a higher power? You used the lives of those the Gods chose to die?"

"Ugh." I groan, clapping a hand to my face. "I forgot, you're both religious. No. Not Gods. Math. It's- no. You know what, this conversation is going to be enough of a mess without getting into that shit. We'll skip the theological differences. Call it whatever the fuck you want, it doesn't matter. All you need to know is, that battle was supposed to end a certain way. And I used the details I knew about to cheat and get Emmeryn out alive."

"Implying that… that I truly was supposed to die there." Emmeryn replies, looking faint. "I had… I thought that my words back there would be my last, but…"

"You were supposed to die there, yes." I reply quietly. "There were no other backup plans once Phila's knights fell. All the Shepherds could do was to watch helplessly as you sacrificed yourself and fell to your death."

"You say this, and yet she is clearly alive." Libra replies, looking between Emmeryn and I in confusion. "How did you know about…" He trails off looking as though something has occurred to him which he would desperately not like to believe. "Ben, could it be that you're…"

"A spy?" Emmeryn finishes for him, though unlike Libra, who looks lost, she has the face of one who has solved a puzzle that has long been troubling them. "No, I think not. Ben is no spy. Simply a man well versed in his fairy tales."

I look at her appraisingly. "You knew?"

"I suspected." Emmeryn replies. "Ever since Chrom first told me of the stories you apparently had heard of our world, I thought something odd. I love my brother dearly, but I know well enough that for all the good he does, he has hardly achieved the sort of things for bards to sing of. He is not, as you once put it, a 'Slayer of Dragons'. Though with the potential return of the Fell Dragon that possibility certainly exists in our future. What's more, there were times I spoke with you that held a sense of finality that I felt with nobody else. Of all those who warned against my return to Ylisstol, your words felt more… definite than any others. They spoke of what they feared could happen to me, but you… you knew all along the path I was heading towards, didn't you?"

I can only stare in shock, blown away by how solid her reasoning is. Behind me, Henry lets out an appreciative whistle. "That's impressive, Lady! I only figured this out for certain because he knew what would happen to your bird ladies."

"The Pegasus Knights?" Emmeryn blinks, looking to me. "You mean to say that you…"

"I knew what would happen to them, yes." I sigh. "I was expecting a full team of archers rather than a fucking Deadlord, but the end result was essentially the same."

"You… you knew!?" Libra explodes, charging forward to grab me by the collar. "You knew what would happen to those brave women and you did nothing? How could you, Ben!?"

"It was necessary." I reply, even as my chest tightens at the accusation. "For two reasons. First, their lives were what fueled the ritual to save Emmeryn's life."

"You used Phila…!" Emmeryn gasps in horror, clutching a hand to her heart. "You sacrificed her life, the lives of all her knights to keep me alive."

"They sacrificed themselves." I reply. "They went into that courtyard fully willing to give their lives to save you. And they would have died regardless of what scribbles Henry put on the damn ground. I just made sure they didn't die for nothing."

"Hollow justification!" Libra snaps, heaving me up to slam me against the wall. "You're speaking of valor to hide base slothfulness! You had the power to save those lives and chose instead to do nothing! And now speak of necessity to appease your own guilt! Was all your talk of protection and living for others a lie? Was your determination to act and protect so flimsy a thing? I thought you a better man than this!"

"It's not that FUCKING SIMPLE!" I snarl, slamming a boot against Libra's chest and heaving him away from me. To my right Henry is laughing wildly, clapping his hands like this is some kind of game to him. It probably is, honestly.

"It is entirely that simple!" Libra replies furiously, clutching at his chest. "You condemned the Pegasus Knights to death through your inaction! They could have lived! They could have done such good! And now they will never get that chance because you decided their fate was set!"

"So, you'd have saved them then, that's what you're telling me!?" I snap back.

"Of course I would have saved them! It's the only thing to do!" Libra shouts.

"Well then, CONGRATULATIONS Libra, you probably just condemned every fucking person on the fucking planet to die!" I snarl, slamming my arm against the wall behind me, crunching flimsy wood beneath my fist. "You fucking holier-than-thou piece of shit. You naïve sack of garbage! Do you have any idea how fucking stupid you sound? You have no fucking idea what's at stake here! What stands to be lost if I fuck this up! If I could afford to run around recklessly playing hero, saving everyone I saw on a fucking whim, I'd happily do so! But we don't live in that world!"

"Ben, please!" Emmeryn cries out desperately. "Calm yourself and explain! Why do you feel all this death is so necessary a thing? Surely if you just talk to us we can find another way!"

"I will not risk the damage another way could bring!" I snap back, glaring Emmeryn in the eye. "I've risked more than enough just by saving your life. If I had any fucking sense I would have left you to die too."

"Stop dodging the question and tell me!" Emmeryn pleads. "What is at risk here? What is happening?"

"You said it yourself. Grima." I reply irritably. "That potential return you mentioned? It's a definite thing. Just like what happened to Marth and her friends. Grima will come, and all life on this planet will end, unless we stop it. And we will stop it. I've seen it happen. But only if things play out properly! And if that means a few Pegasus Knights have to die for the sake of the human race, then so be it!"

"You speak of trading lives as though you are some sort of God!" Libra glares at me, barely restraining himself from rushing me once more. "You would claim to know what Naga has in store for us? Which lives must be ended for the world to be spared?"

"I've fucking seen it!" I jab a thumb at my chest. "I've seen this tale from beginning to end! Experienced it time and again back home! And since landing in this world I have lived it! The attack on Southtown, the appearance of the Risen, the journey to Ferox, the war against Plegia, all of it! Exactly as I read! Every triumph, every failure! Right down to your sacrifice!" I jab my finger at Emmeryn. "The only reason you're still alive this second is because I stepped in."

"Why?"

The question, in contrast to the past several minutes of conversation, is quiet. Spoken softly enough that it catches me off guard. Catches everyone off guard, really. My self-righteousness, Libra's wrath, even Henry's laughter, all stop in the face of Emmeryn's sudden and overwhelming calm. It's like all the spiteful shit I'm throwing at her has run up against a brick wall. "… What?"

"Why did you step in?" Emmeryn asks, looking genuinely curious. "If what you say is true, then you've risked a great deal in saving me. You've potentially put all those lives you spoke of at risk. Rendered all those sacrifices in vain. So… why?"

I have to stop a moment to think on that. But only for a moment. The answer, in the end, is rather obvious.

"Because I hate this."

And just like that I'm off again, unable to stop myself now that I've begun. "I hate knowing what's coming! From the moment I arrived in this world I've felt like I'm fucking things up just by existing. And, I mean, that's not exactly a new feeling for me! Hell, I've felt that way most of my life. But it used to be that I was only really causing problems for myself. Now, every choice I make, I'm not just choosing for myself, I'm choosing for everyone in this stupid fucking world! Nobody should have that kind of responsibility! If I could make the choice to not know the things I know I'd take it in a fucking instant! But here I am, forced to think about the millions of lives at risk every time I act, because obviously getting trapped in this fucking world wasn't bad enough!

"I saved you because I'm sick of feeling trapped. Sick of being forced to ignore my morals, to stand by and do nothing over and over again just so the world can be spared. I can't save everybody. The world could never survive me saving everybody. But I thought, if I could just save one person! Stop one death without damning the world to Grima, then maybe I could… I dunno. Feel less guilty. Less torn apart. Take one moment in my life to step up and make a real fucking difference before I'm back to hiding and waiting for the important people like Chrom and Robin to save the world. Maybe then I could look at my children without fearing that I'll fuck them up by existing, like I am with everything else in this world. Maybe then I can find it in me to feel like I'm actually worthy of being a Shepherd, rather than just… a butcher."

I pause a moment and look around the room. Henry stares up at me, looking completely lost and confused. Libra is thoughtful, and while it may be wishful thinking, I can't help but feel like he looks at least a little empathetic as well. Emmeryn's expression betrays nothing.

"So… that's it. That's the reason." I conclude lamely. "Just… weakness. Pride. I wanted to feel good about myself. I've been letting terrible things happen to good people for months now, out of fear of what that could do to the story I know. The story where the Fell Dragon dies and the world is saved. I watched the… the mother of my child be nearly destroyed by grief because of my inaction, and decided to try cheating for once. See if I could save a life without fucking up what's supposed to happen."

"And so you picked Emmeryn." Libra says quietly.

"I knew more about your death than anyone else's." I shrug, staring Emmeryn in the eyes dully. "Plus, I did consider you to be a friend, I think. We didn't talk much, but… I dunno. I liked it. Talking to you."

"So you saved me." Emmeryn says sadly. "And planned to do so without changing the natural course of events."

"Yeah." I reply quietly, realizing that she's recognized my end goal here.

"Ben?"

"Yeah."

"You have no intention of letting me return to Ylisstol, do you?"

Libra stiffens. Henry looks up eagerly, as though anticipating a fight. I meet Emmeryn's eyes evenly, straightening out now that we're getting to the important shit, even if I don't have the energy for it. "I have no intention of letting you return to your people whatsoever right now."

"That's why you got so upset when you realized Libra was here." She replies, a melancholic tone in her voice. "This wasn't a rescue so much as it was a kidnapping. The only way to keep me alive without affecting the 'natural course of events', as you call it, is to hold me against my will."

When Libra steps towards me this time there's a clear difference I feel immediately. A motivation fueled not by outrage any longer, but by intent. It would seem I've frayed his last nerve. Of my many acts of 'betrayal' today, this is one he can't bring himself to tolerate.

I had hoped he'd be more understanding. Perhaps that was too much to ask. The man was already at the limit of his patience by the time I rescued him from the desert. He's burnt, both by sun and fire, has lost many of his friends on the journey here, and has just found out that another close friend has been plotting with a Grimleal mage to kidnap the Exalt. That being considered he can be forgiven for attempting to attack me.

Forgiveness does not mean I'll allow him to ruin my plan further though. And unfortunately for him I was ready for his reaction. Before he can take a second step he's forced to freeze, my sword pressed against his throat. "Henry. Incapacitate." I say sharply. "Nothing permanent, and I want him awake."

"Nya ha hah! I have just the thing!" Henry says, giving Libra a hungry grin as he flips through the pages of his book. Libra's eyes widen, and he reaches up with one hand, likely trying to pull my sword away from his neck, but before he can reach it, his body is wrapped in shadows. His mouth opens to yell at us, but is quickly shrouded as well, his words becoming muffled, then altogether silent as his jaw is forced shut. The darkness seems to deepen around him, and as it does his arms and legs are pinned together. He falls to his knees, wrists dragged to the floor as if attached to invisible chains. And that is how he stays, eyes wide, body straining against black shackles. It's as though the air around him has become dark with night, even as the rest of the room shows only the faintest golden tinge of approaching twilight.

"Isn't it neat?" Henry asks, as I stare at the spell's effects with a mixture of dread and fascination. "You'd think all his weird monk tricks could get rid of it, but the darkness actually keeps his magic from getting out! They tried it on a bunch of War Clerics and War Monks to make sure. And it doesn't stop outside stuff from getting in either, so he can see and hear and breathe just fine. It's really good for when you catch two prisoners. You can make one watch while you torture the other one. I've never been a fan of that though because it usually means the guy you wrap up confesses before you can even start torturing them. No fun at all!"

"Fascinating." I reply drily, despite his little monologue having exhausted any interest I had in the spell already. "Can he be affected by healing magic without affecting the integrity of the spell?"

"Probably." Henry replies. "Not a lot of healing magic in Plegia, so it's hard to test that stuff. But it should be alright I think."

"An encouraging response." I reply, layering the sarcasm thick. I move on from the shameless laughter Henry responds with, taking Libra's staff and tossing it to Emmeryn. "Here. Patch everyone up while we talk. We're all burned as shit and I'm pretty sure Henry got a bit diced back on that balcony."

"King Gangrel nearly killed me three times!" Henry chimes in. "It was awesome!"

"You're trusting me with this?" Emmeryn says dubiously, moving to Libra's side slowly as if to avoid provoking me.

"Why not. If it was Libra he could use it to bash my brains in, but with you it's just a healing staff. A healing staff wielded by the most powerful healer in Ylisse, but a staff nonetheless." I answer calmly, feeling much better about the situation now that Libra can't blow his damn top at me anymore. "Besides, if all goes well I'll be returning the axe too."

Emmeryn and Libra stare at me in open confusion. "You… you will?"

"I am still on your side, you know." I reply, rolling my eyes. "I recognize you're not happy with your circumstances at the moment, but you do recall that you'd be dead without me, right?"

"That may be true, but you're still making it very difficult to trust you at the moment."

"Fair." I shrug, walking over to a wooden rocking chair in the corner of the room and sinking into it. The thing creaks noisily as I put my weight on it and isn't the most pleasant against my bare back, but my legs thank me for the relief. I watch as Emmeryn heals Libra's injuries, noting the process seems slower than I expected. Probably because it isn't her staff. If I recall correctly Lissa said something about the personal connection being important.

That was the day I first reached Ylisse. Hasn't even been a year, and yet it seems so long ago now…

I chuckle to myself as I reflect, before drawing myself back into the present and addressing Emmeryn. "Well. I could try to explain everything to you, but this is enough of a cluster fuck I'm trying to weave my way through that I'm almost certainly going to miss something. So let's do this: you ask, and I'll answer, to the best of my ability."

"How can I trust you to answer truthfully?" Emmeryn replies bitterly, not looking up from the cut she's mending on Libra's arm.

"You can't!" Henry replies gleefully. "You're completely at his mercy."

"Not remotely helpful, Henry." I groan. "Look, Emmeryn. You already know most of the biggest secrets I've been keeping. The stories I know of this war, what could happen to this world, the horrible things I've allowed to happen for the sake of a brighter future… I can honestly say that you and Libra know more about me right now than anyone else in this world. Probably more about me than anyone in the world I came from, too. More than Chrom and Lissa. More than Robin and Frederick. More than my children. I doubt even they would imagine that I could go to these lengths."

I'm almost amused when I see Emmeryn visibly hold herself back from commenting on that. I must be pissing her off more than I thought. That's not to imply this is a fun situation, but… well. There's a certain humor in it that can be found when one tunes out the bad shit well enough. And I've long been well practiced at that sort of thing. Some of that amusement must show on my face though, because after only a moment's glance she scowls deeply, turning her back to me once more. "When can I see Chrom and Lissa again? When can I return to my people?"

"When Grima's dead." I reply immediately. "And before you ask, I'm not certain when that will be. Best guess is three to five years after this war is over."

She lets out a shuddering gasp at that. I force myself to not be affected. This is all for the sake of the world. For the sake of an ending where Grima lies dead and Emmeryn and her family have their whole life ahead of them. I have to remember that. My resolve can't fail now.

"This war." Emmeryn replies shakily. "When will it end?"

"Not long from now, I think." I muse. "I don't have exact dates, mind you. My knowledge is based on stories, not historical documents. But right now Chrom will be retreating back to Ferox. From there he will rally his forces and lead one final push against the remnants of the Plegian army, and kill King Gangrel on the battlefield."

"Just like that?" Emmeryn says softly. "It sounds too easy."

"Doesn't it?" I give her a coy smile. "Well whether you believe it or not is pretty irrelevant."

"Is that what you think?" she scowls. "Is my opinion meaningless now?"

"Not exactly." I shrug. "If Libra wasn't here it would have been, but since he is… well. We have to make sure you're on board now."

"Or we could kill Libra." Henry chimes in.

"Technically this is true, but I'm still not okay with that." I respond, sending Henry a stern look. "From a purely pragmatic, logic-driven perspective, killing Libra would be the best thing I can do for the sake of this plan. But again, I'm on your side. At least, as much as I can be without risking the damnation of all of humanity. So Libra lives, you live, everyone in this room lives."

"So the only reason I'm allowed free will is because I have somebody with me capable of fighting you." Emmeryn replies scornfully. "Is this what friendship means to you?"

"Nope." I shrug. "I have no illusions about remaining your friend at the end of this, Emmeryn. I'd like to still be your friend, but I recognize that this is a deal-breaker. That Chrom and Lissa will likely never forgive me when they find out. I… won't lie and say I'm okay with that, but I can deal. I think it'll be worth it for you three to have a second chance when this is all over."

Emmeryn looks almost sickened at this, jaw working furiously as she tries to find words. I decide to carry on while she recollects herself. "If I'm being honest, I think having Libra here is far better in the long run. My original plan for where to keep you for five years was honestly pretty sketchy. I was hoping to work out the details once I had actually stopped you from dying. I really wasn't sure this would work. At all. Odds were very much stacked against us on this one, in case Robin and Chrom's complete failure wasn't a hint."

"And now? What do you suppose will happen with Libra here?"

"Well he can protect you." I stare blankly at them. "He would have done it whether I asked him or not. So now I can be at ease knowing you've got somebody capable looking out for you."

"And what if I decide to return to Ylisse on my own?"

It takes me little time to think of a response to that. "I can do literally nothing to stop you. But are you going to do that? Knowing what I've told you, can you truly bear to take that risk?"

"I don't know that there truly is a risk!" Emmeryn cries out in frustration. "Nothing that you're saying makes sense! Why is my presence such a threat to your ideal vision of the future!? Are you so terrified of my goals? Is my struggle for peace such an awful thing in your eyes? Why can't I just see my family!?"

I reflect on her question for a while. It's a fair thing to ask, and I need to organize my thoughts to address it properly. Until now I haven't truly put it into words. What I know of this situation isn't truly knowledge after all; it's a whirling storm of what-if scenarios.

After some time thinking on the matter though, I find that many of these what-if scenarios boil down to the same thing. "The reason I'm willing to go this far to keep you from Chrom and Lissa is… because you will make Ylisse weak."

She reels at that as if I've slapped her. "… Weak?"

"Weak." I nod. "I've said it before: you're no politician. You can't compromise in your values. Particularly when it comes to war. If you returned to Ylisse, whether you resumed your role as Exalt or not, you would continue to push the nation away from war with everything in your being. We both know you won't flex in this."

Her face hardens at this, and I respond by pushing every word I say at her like a hammer, doing what I can to crack that sense of resolve. "So what then, will you do when Gangrel claims to his people that your sacrifice was a lie, that your words were a mere performance, that the peace you spoke of is little more than a ruse? What will you do if the armies of Valm cross the ocean to take control of all people as they have done to Roseanne and the rest? What will you do when the Grimleal wage war on all of humanity, for the sake of their Fell God? Talk to them?"

"I would do everything in my power to make them see reason!" Emmeryn snaps back.

"You. Would. Talk." I snarl. "Don't insult me by trying to pretty it up and hoping I won't notice. It's one fucking word, and it won't work on them any better than your attempt at bullshit worked on me just now. You think you can get Grima to listen to a thing you have to say? You couldn't get through to Gangrel! You didn't come close! There are a great many threats coming for Ylisse in the future and none of them can be reasoned with! They don't give a shit about your words. Talk is cheap when compared to action, and they live to take horrible, monstrous action! What can your words do in comparison?"

"I can get through to them! I… I believe I already have. The people of Plegia listened to my words, I believe I reached them! I must have!" Emmeryn replies desperately.

"Flawed logic." I dismiss. "You gave a lovely speech back there, I won't dispute that, but if you've moved them it isn't due to the strength of your words. It's because you killed yourself. Or would have, if not for me. Regardless, your words are not what reached them, your action was. You martyred yourself! And that is not a card you get to play twice!"

"Too bad. Double deaths is twice as fun." Henry murmurs from his spot on the floor. Everyone ignores him.

"I have to try regardless!" Emmeryn pushes on resolutely. "If there is even the slightest chance that my words may stop a war then I have to take them!"

"Even if failure means a greater cost to your people?" I reply, getting increasingly frustrated with her.

"For the chance to save the lives of all who would suffer from war I would try!"

And that's when I slap her. It… takes me a moment to realize I've even done it. To realize that I've left my seat. To realize that my hands moved almost of their own accord, striking out at the source of the anger I've been fighting down. I stare blankly at my hand still raised, at Henry watching in open-mouthed curiosity, at Libra now straining against his bonds with everything he has. At Emmeryn, holding a hand to her face and staring in shock. I hear nothing but the pounding of my heart in my chest and my body heaving for breath.

I lost control of my temper. Not in a fight, but against somebody I care about. I… I haven't done that in nearly a decade. I was supposed to have put that behind me. I worked so fucking hard, for so long, to not do that anymore. To rise above everything that made me like that. And I just slapped Emmeryn. My friend.

My heart sinks in horror. My stomach churns in revulsion at my actions. My mind screams damnation at me for letting myself go back to that point for even an instant. My body longs so badly to cringe away from my failure of control that I have to fight the urge to curl up into a ball.

And my mouth hisses, "You disgusting hypocrite." The words spring from my mouth unbidden, and I feel as my self-loathing burns away before the strength of my rage. It's a heat I feel in my chest, burning through me, setting my scares aflame with pain. And as it burns hotter I find I can do nothing to contain it, that I don't want to contain it. And so when I open my mouth next I don't speak so much as explode.

"Save lives? Save lives? Is that what you tell yourself? Is that why you've torn Ylisse's defenses apart and rolled out the red carpet for invaders? Is that why you worked so hard to leave Plegia alone that you didn't offer them even the slightest fucking bit of restitution for what your father did? Is that why you continue to insist that talking must always be the answer even as your people burn and die!? Don't fuck with me! You aren't doing any of this to save lives! You're doing this because you're obsessed with being as different from your piece of shit father as you possibly can be! Any lives saved or fighting stopped is a damn bonus! But if that part doesn't work out, if people end up dying anyways, that's not your fault, is it? No, it's just a fucking tragedy! You can't be held responsible for your complete and total failure to protect Ylisse! It's all Gangrel's fault for not listening!"

"Well he won't!" Emmeryn protests, taken aback at my tirade but unwilling to concede.

"AS IF YOU'VE EVER LISTENED TO ANYTHING ANYONE SAID TO YOU THAT YOU DIDN'T LIKE!" I bellow, slamming a fist into the wall. "You've happily ignored any dissenting opinion ever presented to you in all the time I've known you, because the nay-sayers are just violent people who don't share in your damn 'vision'. Getting approval for any sort of military action from you is like pulling teeth, because you think sending so much as a single soldier into battle is a sign that you're abandoning your life's mission! The only people who have had any sort of luck are Chrom, your brother, and Phila, your closest friend. You don't allow anyone else even the slightest hint of sway over you, and it means as soon as somebody came to Ylisse to rock the boat the whole nation's ready to fucking sink again!"

"I have to maintain control of Ylisse! It's the only way to ensure we don't fall down that dark path once more!"

"You're ruled by that 'dark path'." I snort. "The shit your father pulled is still tearing Ylisse apart to this day, because you won't stop running away from it! All you've done as Exalt until now is talk about your ideal society, and act surprised when the rest of the world isn't ready to drop everything they've worked for to get with the program! You're running the country like a fucking door-to-door bible salesman! But unlike them you're falling apart the first time somebody slams the door in your face!"

"WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE ME DO THEN?" Emmeryn protests, tearing up as she shouts at me. "JUST LET PEOPLE BRING WAR TO YLISSE?"

"You're already doing that!" I hiss, jabbing a finger towards her. "Every time you refuse to fight back you are letting them walk all over you, and Gangrel took that as an open invitation! What you should have done is accept that you won't always be able to stop it! Prepare for those situations! Be ready to fight back! Grow beyond that little girl standing silently as her people threw stones, and realize that your childhood dream can never be. Understand that utopias, by fucking definition, are not real!" I throw my hands up dismissively. "Get it into your thick skull that your perfect world was never going to happen and move on with your life! Try for something attainable!"

"It is attainable! It has to be! It's everything I've worked for!" Emmeryn falls to her knees gasping as he body shakes with sobs. "I need to hold Ylisse together! Keep my people safe from harm! Turn the country away from that which nearly destroyed it."

"But if things keep going the way they are, if you keep leading Ylisse the way you have been, war will destroy you anyways." I reply, stepping back and falling into the chair again, feeling exhausted. "You will drive us further and further away from war until we have nothing left to stop it. Hell, we're practically at that point already. The best thing you can do for Ylisse is to just… stay out of it."

"Is that really true?" Emmeryn stares up at me, looking very lost. "After all I've done, is Ylisse really better off without me? Has all my work been for nothing?"

"That's not what I'm saying!" I reply firmly. "Emmeryn you may have been chasing an impossible ideal, but you still did a lot for Ylisse. Your people wouldn't have recovered from the war nearly as quickly without you, and I'm sure everyone knows it. If these were peaceful times I think you could have achieved a great deal more… but these aren't peaceful times. They never really were, not with Gangrel chipping away at Ylisse for years with his bandits. Your one mistake was failing to recognize that. It was a big mistake, but you still did far more good than harm. And Chrom will remember that as he steps up to rule Ylisse himself. Hell, he probably wouldn't even think half of what I've said. He'll just look back on your actions and feel inspired."

"Is he really ready for this though?" Emmeryn says quietly. "It's such a heavy burden…"

"I dare say he's more ready for it than you were when you took the title." I answer softly. "He has his temper, yes, but he also has Sumia, Robin, Frederick, and the rest of the Shepherds to look after him."

"And you." Emmeryn replies.

"…And me, yes." I sigh. "I will be there for him, for as long as I'm alive to do so."

The room falls silent as she reflects on everything I've said to her. Not just her, the others appear to be doing the same. Henry seems unusually thoughtful, though I'm sure he's coming to all the wrong conclusions. Libra stares at the ground, absolutely brimming with visible frustration. Emmeryn's returned to that blank expression she had earlier, betraying nothing. Then, after a while, she gets back to her feet, picks up Libra's staff, and resumes healing the man. She moves on to Henry next, healing his cuts and burns entirely in silence.

When she moves on to me I'm honestly surprised. "Nobody would hold it against you if you left me injured, you know. Least of all myself. I realize I've hurt you. A lot. I think we both know I deserve worse than some burns for this."

"I would hold it against myself." Emmeryn replies quietly. "I will not leave people to suffer in front of me. Not even those who have hurt me. Not even those who have betrayed me. Even if I am to no longer be Exalt, I will not let this change. I will still do what I can to end suffering wherever I see it."

As always, a born humanitarian. I think back to the last conversation the two of us had, and smile ruefully. "I'm sorry the hope I promised you didn't come in the way you wanted."

"I know you are." Emmeryn says sadly. "And I understand why you've done this to me. But I would never condone it. And I'm sorry to say, I don't think this will make you feel any worthier as a person."

"Maybe not." I shrug casually even as my chest tightens. "But I'm willing to try it. More willing than I was to keep doing nothing."

Once the conversation is over I have Henry release Libra. He doesn't say anything, but the look he gives me conveys enough. I've disappointed him, as expected. Emmeryn's stance isn't entirely clear, but Libra's is obvious: I'm not his friend anymore. It's… painful. I relied on him a great deal, as a friend and confidante. His wisdom has been a great help to me in the time I've known him.

Though I have to wonder how much of the lessons I've learned from him really sank in. Maybe my determination to redefine what I fought for really did mean nothing. Am I protecting Emmeryn by doing all this, or just looking out for myself?

The answer, of course, is both. I'm not living in a world of blacks and whites here. And regardless of the lengths I've gone to for it, the fact remains that Emmeryn is still alive. Chrom and Lissa will be able to see their big sister again, though not as soon as they'd no doubt wish.

These thoughts plague me even as the others take the opportunity to get some much needed rest. I stay up watching the sky darken through the window, thinking on all that I've done and said. Wondering how these actions I feel driven to take may pull me back into that dark place I wanted to escape from.

Emmeryn's right. I don't feel much worthier at all.


I'm woken up by a loud banging on the door and the flickering of torchlight outside the window. Apparently rest found me after all, because it's well past sundown at this point.

Another loud bang, and I realize that in addition to the torchlight there's also a face trying to peer in through the window. Libra and Emmeryn are staring wide eyed at me across the room, tucked safely out of sight beneath the window. My position is considerably more exposed, and as I realize this I hop to my feet and scramble into the darkest corner I can find. It proves a fruitless endeavor, because the guard spots either me or the motions of the rocking chair I left behind, and calls out to the others: "Movement. Back of the room."

The banging increases in intensity, with a voice shouting to accompany it. "This is the royal guard! Let us in or we will use force!"

I grab my weapons from next to my chair, noting that Libra seems to have retrieved his axe while I was sleeping. Saves me the trouble of a discrete handoff, so I don't much worry about it. Fastening the sword and my tome to my belt lets me feel considerably more secure than I was a moment ago, but does little to change the trouble we're in. I had planned to be long gone by the time any guards came snooping around. The conversation with Emmeryn clearly exhausted me more than I thought.

The guard at the window turns again to say something to his fellows, and I take the opportunity to dart across the room and hide next to the door. Henry seems to materialize out of the shadows on the opposite side, giving me an eager grin. I reach for the door, prepared to pull it towards me at a moment's notice.

"This is your final warning! Open up now, or we'll tear the damn building down!"

I turn to Emmeryn and Libra. "We'll lead them east. Good luck. Try not to let me see you again any time soon."

Henry whistles.

The air is filled with the cacophonous screeching of at least a hundred crows, appearing in the night to swarm the guards.

I throw the door open, and Henry and I run, barrelling through disoriented guards and rushing down the street. I hear several alarmed voices, as the guards attempt to pursue through the cloud of feathers and cawing birds!

"Nya ha hah! This is getting fun again!" Henry cheers as he moves alongside me. "I can't wait to see how you get us out of this one!"

"Me either." I reply irritably, turning back to see half a dozen armored figures chasing me… and behind them, two pale figures sneaking away in the opposite direction.

Well, regardless of how things go from here… at least I know now that what I've done will make a difference once everything's over.


I'm curious to know if anybody predicted something similar in Ben's plan. Some of the comments I've seen seem to suggest that some of my readers saw something like this coming, but a great many others have me wondering. At any rate, I hope this doesn't put too many people off reading. I fully recognize that Ben is operating in a fairly dark shade of moral grey with this move.

The day may come when Ben is ready to leave the story he knows behind and truly push for change. But it is not this day. I'd go into detail here, but anything I say now would dull the effect once his actions are scrutinised in story. And oh, they will be scrutinised.

Next time: a look at what's happening through different eyes.

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