Anna's grave was located in a back corner of Graceland Cemetary. It had taken me a long time to search for her, even after I'd screwed my head on straight in Summer. Her death had been the start of my turn to the dark side. I still had nightmares about the night the Count tore her throat out. The moments after were still a blank nothingness in my memory. Lasciel had blotted them out to salvage my sanity, and I hadn't ever tried to fill the gaps. Some things you were just better off not knowing.

I'd taken her body through the Ways, dropping her just outside Springfield, placing as many forms of ID as possible onto her person. She deserved to be remembered, and I had nothing to give her then. It turned out that Abby had been the executor of her will. She had no living family members, so the Order had all pitched in to give her a pink marble headstone marked with the symbol of her faith. I'd only visited her once since becoming the Black Knight. It was still too painful. But how could I say no when Abby invited me to a memorial service in her honor?

We stood, our backs to the chill winter wind, hands linked when Olivia said a short prayer to the goddess. Then we all sat near the grave, breaking out our home-packed lunches and passing around bottles of Mac's ale. The atmosphere was subdued but not sad. Toto sniffed around our plates, receiving ear scratches and tummy rubs alongside little morsels the attendees were willing to part with. I offered him most of the pot roast in my container after he'd made the circuit.

Abby clucked her disapproval. "You're a greedy little boy. No, it isn't okay."

I opened my mouth to assure her I didn't mind, then closed it again. I'd never get used to having someone predict my words before they left my mouth. Abby's prescience only extended a few seconds into the future, and social interactions were easiest to predict. Still, it was odd.

"I don't have much of an appetite. At least someone gets to enjoy Mom's cooking."

"Anna," she said with a nod of understanding. "You still feel guilty about all of this."

I couldn't be sure if that had been prescience or if I was just that obvious. I did feel guilty. She wouldn't have died if she hadn't followed me to Belize. She could have been warm and safe in her apartment now, hosting a meeting of the Ordo, mothering the younger members, and badgering them with the need to be safe in these uncertain times. Instead, she was six feet underground moldering slowly in a casket.

"It's my fault. She should have stayed in Chicago. She'd have been safer here."

Abby tilted her head. "Do you really think that she'd have preferred you be alone? It wasn't her way. She did what she thought was best, and as her friend, I can assure you that she never regretted trying to care for you."

A task I'd made next to impossible. She'd been ready to leave. Why hadn't I let her go? If she'd gone to my father, he could have convinced me to drop Lasciel's coin sooner. I wouldn't have hurt him. Everyone would have been better off.

"Anna believed life is a wheel, and she'll come back when she's ready. You're going to live a long time. I'm sure you'll see her again."

I took a sip of Mac's pale ale and said nothing. Inside, a small hope kindled. If I lived through this and Anna turned up again, I'd find her and watch over her. No one would ever raise a hand to her. She'd live a long, happy life surrounded by friends, shielded from monsters. Next time, I'd do things right.

But until then, I'd keep her memory alive, one memorial at a time.