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Chapter 49: Partition

My brief but eventful stint under Feroxi house arrest comes to a sudden end when Flavia storms into my room on day three. She takes a moment to stare at the bloodstains in the floor, face hardening, before she finally looks up at me. "Right, you come with me."

I can see in her eyes that she is in no mood for my usual bullshit. I stand in silence and follow at her heels obediently. We don't travel very far. Not even a minute later and I've been brought into a room and come face to face with Chrom, Robin, and Frederick. They all sit around a small table, and Flavia directs me to take a seat with them before moving to stand opposite Chrom's position.

"This," she slaps a sheet of paper down on the table in front of us, "Is the letter my guards received instructing them to arrest Ben. It is written in my handwriting, bears my seal, and has detailed instructions regarding where and how he is to be detained. Which means we have a serious goddamn problem. Because I did not write this."

I can't help but feel a little relieved at the certainty in her voice. Even after hearing Raimi's declaration before she went totally fucking mental there was a part of me that worried Flavia really did want me locked up. That she had somehow found out about my situation and wanted to punish me.

As for the others, well I suppose it's far less of a revelation for them. They probably have a better idea what's going on right now than I do, by virtue of not having been locked in a room for several days. Robin immediately gets to work examining the letter Flavia showed us, while Chrom continues the conversation.

"I never doubted you for a moment," Chrom nods. "So then, I suppose that means this letter must be a forgery."

"Well I certainly didn't write it in my sleep," Flavia growls, "But that's hardly the real issue. The handwriting is an irritating problem, with it being such a good copy of my own, but the bigger problem is the seal. It's been stolen, probably by Raimi. That thrice-damned treacherous bitch!"

"It's likely she still has it with her," Robin notes, passing the letter over to Frederick to read. After a moment of thought he turns to me, "Ben, do you know anything about what spell she used to teleport?"

"…I don't know anything about the mechanics behind a spell like that." I say, feeling a bit lost but doing my best to keep up with everything, "Though… I'm not sure if it was a proper spell. Before she disappeared she was fiddling with something. I couldn't tell what it was though. Too much blood in the way of everything. Maybe Severa knows, she was closer."

"No doubt you'll see her first of everyone here," Chrom says with the faintest hint of a smile, "Ask her if she saw anything unusual once we're done here and get back to us as soon as possible."

"Uhh, can do," I say, still feeling a bit thrown off by the situation.

"I wonder if it might be possible to track her with magic," Frederick says thoughtfully, "Henry and Tharja may be able to do something with Raimi's hand."

"I imagine the damn thing's been burned by now, but maybe we'll get lucky." Flavia replies thoughtfully. "You check with your dark mages and I'll see what I have to give them."

"Let's get to work quickly then," Chrom nods, "We have a rogue knight with stolen intelligence to bring to justice."

"No." Flavia says firmly, "You're welcome to help me find that ungrateful worm, but I'll be delivering justice to her myself. She was my knight, and I'll be the one to carry out her sentence."

"You're certain?" Chrom asks, "I realize this must not be easy for you."

"Chrom, I didn't question it when you asked me to leave this idiot to you," And to my alarm Flavia gestures to me at this, "So you'd damn well better not fight me on this."

"Of course." Chrom replies, nodding his head respectfully. "Then I'll do what I can until then to help track Raimi down."

"Good. I look forward to getting my hands on that traitor," Flavia snarls, moving for the door. Before she leaves though, she pauses as if remembering something, turning back to face Chrom. "Thanks for helping me with this, Chrom. You've got every right to be giving me hell for this fuckup."

"I prefer more constructive solutions as a general rule," Chrom replies drily. "Just think of this as me paying back some of what I owe you."

"Sounds like a deal," Flavia grins mirthlessly as she walks out of the room, "Good hunting."

There's a moment of silence in the Khan's absence, before I summon up the courage to speak, "So… just to be clear, I'm not being arrested anymore, right? I'm free to not go back to that fucking room?"

Frederick doesn't spare me a glance, apparently still giving me the silent treatment. Chrom and Robin on the other hand give each other a look. "…No, you're not being arrested," Robin says eventually, "Chrom and I had a talk with Flavia the same morning you left to get Lumír. She knows what's going on, and she's definitely not happy with you, but she's keeping out of it."

"Okay…" I reply dubiously, "So… what's the problem then?"

"At first we intended to leave you out of the conversation altogether." Chrom explains, looking very uncomfortable, "But Raimi already knew somehow. Not everything, but enough to get Flavia asking questions we couldn't afford to leave unanswered. She's apparently been investigating us for a while now. Tharja says she caught her snooping around Robin a few times, and we think she also heard you and Cordelia talking."

"And she managed to put it together with just that?" I blink in surprise. Apparently I haven't been giving the spiteful bitch enough credit.

"She at least knew that you had some knowledge of what was going to happen. And that was enough for her to make a lot of noise about it. Flavia called on us to address the things she was saying and… well she was honestly shocked to learn Raimi was telling the truth. Apparently Raimi was the one who started that rumor about you. And the nickname."

"Well I figured that much out months ago." I reply, rolling my eyes.

"Yes, Flavia seemed to be aware as well. Which is why she didn't trust Raimi when she made a fuss, the grudge Raimi has against you has been something of a sore spot for Flavia for a while now. We think that might also be part of why she was so willing to ignore the issue with you. But the real problem is… what Raimi did next."

"Yeah, I noticed that part." I say drily. "I haven't forgotten being targeted by an assassination attempt Chrom."

"That's not what we're talking about," Robin shakes his head. "Before she left our group to ride ahead she spent a full day marching with us, probably so she could steal Flavia's seal and forge that letter. And she made good use of that time."

I get a sudden sinking feeling in my gut as I start to realize what they're getting at, "Doing what exactly?"

"Exposing you," Frederick replies bluntly. His eyes meet mine and I realize in spite of everything he looks almost… satisfied. "At least half of the Feroxi army, as well as everyone who came with us from Ylisse now knows what you knew and what you've done. Including the Shepherds."

Including my family. The kids. Thanks to Raimi's forged letter I didn't get a chance to tell them about everything. Which means rather than Cordelia and I talking to them in private they've now been exposed to my actions in the worst way possible.

My chair clatters to the ground as I rush for the door, but I've barely pulled it open when Frederick's hand catches it and slams it shut in my face. "Just where do you think you're going?" He says, glaring down at me, "We're not done here!"

"I'm going to see my fucking kids!" I snarl up at him. "Get the fuck out of my way!"

Frederick grimaces at that, taking a step back from the door, but he keeps his hand in place. Before I can really start yelling at him he turns to Chrom, "Milord?"

Chrom is leaning heavily on the table, rubbing his face with his hands, "Damnit, I should have thought of this."

"It's not your fault Chrom, the past few days have been a complete disaster. You can't be everywhere at once," Robin says reassuringly.

"That's no excuse."

"Hey," I growl, glaring across the room at them, "If you two are done can you tell me what the fuck is going on here? Why can't I see my kids!?"

"You can!" Robin says hastily, "Ben, you have my word I will make sure you can see your kids as soon as possible. The problem is everyone else."

"What?" I blink in confusion.

Chrom lowers his hand and looks me in the eyes, and it's only now that I notice the bone-deep weariness in his expression. "It's as Frederick said before. Your actions have been exposed to everyone with us from Ylisse. Including the Shepherds. By now they've likely heard damn near everything you've done. And everything you've not done. Not to mention more than a few extra rumors on the side that nobody knows what to make of. And there are many of them who… aren't taking the revelations well."

"And the Feroxi are worse," Robin concludes, "We've made it clear to Flavia that the high death toll in the war was solely my responsibility, and that your knowledge of enemy tactics was lacking at best. But convincing the rest of the army would be far more difficult. More than a few of them are convinced that you willingly let the Feroxi army get slaughtered for the sake of letting Emmeryn become a martyr and ending the war."

"That's not… I didn't know anything about that! It's not like I had a list of fucking numbers to pull from. I barely knew anything about the war that doesn't involve the Shepherds!" I protest helplessly.

"You know that, and I know that, but everyone who wasn't there when you came clean to us has nothing but Chrom's word to go on. And that word is soured by the fact that we can't reveal… what you accomplished through that stunt of yours." Robin's eyes dart to the door and I catch his meaning. It's still not safe to reveal that Emmeryn's alive. Until we find her again the only things keeping her alive are Libra's protection and the public knowledge that she died in the war.

"So… what does this mean for me then? And for the Shepherds?" I look around the room.

"Regarding your position… It's too soon to say," Robin replies, "Right now the information is still fresh. Emotions are still running hot. And people haven't had time to think on things and sort out their own opinions. Hell, Chrom and I are still struggling to do that ourselves. As for the Shepherds… I won't mince words, there's going to be trouble. Even though most of the Shepherds haven't made up their minds there's already a divide forming between those who have. On one side is those like myself, Gaius, and Maribelle, those who still consider you a friend and want you to remain. As for the others…"

"We want you out," Frederick says bluntly. "I won't mince words with you Ben. Your betrayal goes well beyond anything even I could have imagined. Even knowing what I do about your reasons, and what you managed to accomplish, I cannot see myself forgiving you for what you've done. And I am not alone in this regard. If you show your face in front of the Shepherds right now there is a very good chance that somebody attacks you."

"Like you did, you mean," I snap back, looking Frederick in the eye. To my immense surprise and satisfaction he turns his gaze at that, not quite guilty but certainly far from proud of his actions. I leave him to stew on that feeling, turning back to Chrom and Robin, "Right, so that's why you don't want me walking around carefree with the other Shepherds right now then. They're basically a powder keg waiting to go off and I'm the human equivalent of a lit match."

"I wish it weren't true, but things really are unstable at the moment," Chrom nods, looking absolutely miserable. "I already had to break up a shouting match between Vaike and Gaius this morning during breakfast, Sumia had to stop an actual fight between Sully and Cordelia, and Panne has been shunning everyone for the past three days. I just… I don't think we can afford the chance that your appearance might throw more fuel on the fire."

I feel much of my irritation dissipate as I watch Chrom recount what's been going on with the others. Mostly because of how genuinely tortured he seems to be by it all. The Shepherds mean a lot to him, and my actions are threatening to tear apart this family he's created. "Alright then," I say eventually, "I guess I'm keeping my distance for now. So… how am I going to see my family then? I can't wait on this, I have to talk to the kids as soon as possible."

"Let me talk to Cordelia about it," Robin says, giving me a reassuring smile, "Between the two of us I'm sure we can get something worked out right away. Honestly knowing her, she's probably taking care of everything herself already."

"Try to be quick about it if you can," Frederick says with a sigh, "I recognize that this is an important matter but we do still have the issue of Flavia's rogue knight to resolve."

"Let us work towards tracking her down in the meantime," Chrom says, getting to his feet, "I'm sure we can manage without Robin for a little while. You mentioned consulting Henry and Tharja earlier, right? We can talk to the two of them now while Robin is helping Ben."

"Be sure to let Tharja know that Robin will be joining you all," I point out dryly. "She'll probably work ten times harder to make sure she has results for him when he arrives."

Chrom manages to crack a smile at that, "You know, you're probably right about that."

"Please, don't encourage her," Robin groans, letting his head fall against the table with a dull thump, "It's hard enough dealing with her attention as it is."

I wince at that, thinking once more of Morgan and Noire. Yet another cluster fuck of a situation that has yet to be resolved. And one I won't be able to even attempt to manage any time soon with all that's happened. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if they don't want anything to do with me. My lies have probably hurt those kids more than anybody.

Well, for now I suppose I'll just have to manage things one broken family at a time. Starting with my own.


As it turns out, Cordelia really has been working on damage control while I've been locked up. It only takes ten minutes or so after Robin leaves to find her before he brings me to yet another room in Flavia's Keep, though this one is in much better shape than the one I've been locked in for the past few days. In fact it's a room I'm very familiar with; the same room that Flavia used for meetings with the Shepherds last winter.

The moment I enter the room Diana crashes into me at full speed, "Dad! I'm so glad you're alright!" She cries eagerly, clinging to me desperately. Lumír is only a moment behind her, latching onto my leg and pressing his face into my trousers.

It's the first time I've seen either of them since I got arrested, so I hug them back with enthusiasm to match. "Course I'm alright!" I declare, wrapping one arm around Diana and reaching down to tousle Lumír's hair with the other, "Takes more than one crazy Knight to take on your old man!"

"Speaking of which," Robin speaks up from behind me, "I'm going to go help Chrom deal with said crazy knight now. You guys are all good here, right?"

"Yes, I think we'll be fine from here," It's Cordelia who replies, standing up from her chair to approach us, "Thank you for bringing him Robin."

"It was no trouble," Robin says with a small smile, "I'll leave you all to it then. Uhh, good luck!"

I turn to thank Robin, but he's already making a hasty exit. No doubt he wants to give us our space. And also escape before things get too awkward.

With Robin gone, I look towards Cordelia. She seems… exhausted seems too weak a word. Certainly far from her usual calm and collected self. Her posture is tense, her hair tied up in a way I can tell is meant to disguise how messy it really is, and I can see the beginnings of bags under her eyes. With the way she usually carries herself any one of these signs would be alarming, but all three together? It's a sure sign that she's at the end of her rope.

My worry must be showing in my face, because Cordelia meets my gaze and gives the slightest shake of her head. 'Later,' she mouths silently, nodding towards the table in the middle of the room (which thankfully seems to have been replaced since last winter, lacking any sign of bloodstains). I follow her gaze and see Severa sitting on the opposite side. And in stark contrast to Diana and Lumír, she doesn't seem to be sparing me as much as a glance. Instead she's glaring furiously at the table, as if trying to ignite it with her eyes.

Hoo boy… "Alright guys, let's sit down for now, alright? We've uhh… we've got some stuff that we need to talk about," I say weakly, gesturing towards the table.

The others begin to move, but Severa proves unable to wait any longer. "How much of it is true?" She snaps, glaring up at me with red-rimmed eyes.

Cordelia grimaces, "Severa, that's-"

"I'm asking him," Severa cuts Cordelia off immediately, not taking her eyes off me. "How many of these rumors about you are true dad?"

I don't have a clue what the extent of the rumors about me are, so the question gives me pause. After thinking it over though I realize there's only one correct answer I can feasibly give to that one. "…Enough of them," I finally say.

Severa stares blankly at me for a moment. "So… you really knew? About… about the future? About this future?"

"I did," I reply evenly, looking her in the eyes. "I knew… and I did nothing to stop most of it."

Severa grimaces at that, then bursts into bitter laughter. "I should have known," She declares, a twisted smile on her face. "When you said I was in those stories of yours I should have realized you knew. It was right there in front of me all this time. The advice you gave everyone that seemed perfectly made for them. The way you were acting after Cordelia left with the pegasus knights. All the time you started to spend plotting after Emmeryn got kidnapped. I knew you were acting weird, but I thought it was just… war stuff! Instead I find out you were screwing around on your own, messing everything up, keeping secrets, and pushing me aside."

"…I'm sorry Severa," I say quietly, "I know that what I did… and what I didn't do is a lot to take in. And you must be disappointed me now."

"Disappointed? Please." Severa scoffs, glaring at me, "Let's get something clear here dad: I've been around you long enough to know your stupid brain works. You're good at making decisions on the fly, but the more time you have to plan things out the more you overthink things. So when I heard that you knew about everything that was going to happen in advance… I got it. I knew it was just my dad thinking himself into a corner like an idiot and then making all the worst decisions. I knew it because I grew up with it. I grew up watching you doing your best not to crack under pressure until one day you hopped on your wyvern, flew off into the sunset, and I never saw you again."

I can only stare in stunned silence, as Severa begins to explain. "When… when I came back in time with the others, I wasn't doing it for the same reason they were. Everyone else was like Lucina… they all wanted to fix things. Write a new future, where Grima didn't ruin everything. And… I do want that, obviously, but that wasn't what I really cared about. I just… wanted to make things better for you. All of you," She clarifies, looking around at the others uncertainly. "I… I wanted Diana to have the family she deserved. I wanted to not be the weight dragging my mom down. I wanted Lumír to have a chance to be a kid. And… I wanted my dad to be okay. I wanted to make sure that this time you wouldn't break."

"Is that why you didn't listen to Lucina?" Diana asks.

"I wanted to try to be there for dad. So he could rely on me more." Severa nods sullenly, before adding as an afterthought: "And the fact that it meant disobeying miss stuffy know-it-all was a bonus."

I decide immediately to leave that second part for a different conversation. "Well… it means a lot to me that you feel that way, Severa," I reassure her, "And I want you to know that I do rely on you a lot."

"Obviously not, or we wouldn't be here, would we?" Severa shoots back, scowling furiously at me, "Most of my help was just either looking after Diana and Lumír so you didn't have to worry about them, or dealing with whoever was attacking you. Like Raimi, who, it turns out, had a pretty good reason to be pissed off at you! Imagine what it was like finding that out after doing my best to decapitate her! I didn't help you, I enabled you. I just didn't know I was doing it," Her gaze falls to the table, anger giving way to an exhausted sadness that seems to emulate her mother's all too well, "I probably should be disappointed in you, honestly, but I'm feeling much more disappointed in myself right now."

There's a lot to unpack there, and it takes me a minute to think through how to respond to Severa's confession, "Okay, let's take this in order. First thing's first: looking after Diana and Lumír is not a small thing. It is, in fact, the most important thing, because you are all my kids and that makes you priority one in my eyes whenever I'm not being a complete dumbass." I look around to the kids and shrug helplessly, "Also because, in case you haven't noticed, I'm doing my best, but I really don't know what I'm doing with you three. I grew up thinking I'd be having to worry about sending my kids to a good school and not repeating the absolute mess of a job my dad made with me, not trying to raise you to survive multiple wars and the end of the world. In my head keeping you out of the grimier parts of all this bloodshed and killing is just good parenting, even if I know you've seen far worse things growing up.

"Second, and let's keep this part brief, Raimi did not have a good reason to go after me. She found one along the way, sure, but she was gunning for me well before that. Raimi didn't give a shit about any of the awful things I actually did; she attacked me because I hurt her pride. That's it. You should not under any circumstances find any fault for what happened to her. She made her choices… and so did I. Which brings me to item number 3: you are not responsible for my mistakes."

Severa blinks at me, "What… no, don't you get it? This happened because I screwed up! If I'd done a better job of things then you-"

"Would still be a paranoid disaster making all the wrong decisions," I shake my head, "Severa, the whole reason I got myself into this mess is because my lack of self-worth and my fear was completely overriding my ability to trust. There's nothing you could have done to overcome that short of enabling me for real, and that would have been horrible for everyone in the long run. My problems were basically a total counter to what you set out to do in the first place."

"It's not your responsibility to fix your father dear," Cordelia smiles gently, "I'm proud of you for wanting to help him, but in the end the only person who can help Ben is himself."

"Exactly," I nod along quickly, "Remember what I said last time: just being your father has done more for me than you could ever imagine. That's what is giving me the strength to push on and deal with all the bad decisions I've made. Everything else from there is up to me to solve, and nobody else."

"By which he means everything regarding his own healing," Cordelia says, shooting me a pointed look.

"Uhh, yeah." I hastily amend, "I am definitely referring to working on myself here. The bigger, fate of the world stuff is all stuff I've talked to Chrom and Robin about, so the Shepherds will handle that together."

"So… what are we supposed to do?" Diana asks.

"Live happy lives." I reply with a quirk of my eyebrow. When Diana pouts at the answer I chuckle and expand on that, "I'm serious. We didn't bring you here to give you a job to do. You're here so we could tell you what's going on and make sure you knew that we are dealing with it. You are free to do… whatever you want. Law permitting."

"And if we decide that we still want to help you fix things?"

"That's…" I frown, wanting to turn them away from the idea of working to solve my problems.

"If you want to help us, then you're free to do that too," Cordelia says firmly, shooting me a look to inform me that she is officially taking the lead on this one. "We can all work together as a family to make everything right."

"Yeah, I think it's pretty obvious we're invested in making that happen by now," Severa rolls her eyes, "So stop beating around the bush and tell me how we're supposed to fix this already."

"Uhh…" I look over to Cordelia, "I don't actually know the answer to that one."

"What?" Severa blinks in surprise.

"Severa, I've been locked in a room for days now, I don't actually know what the problem looks like. And Chrom has made it pretty clear I need to stay out of sight of the Shepherds for everyone's sake before somebody starts a riot."

"Wouldn't it be better if we talked to people?" Diana chimes in, "Most of the people sticking up for you right now are the ones you talked to already."

"…I dunno." I croak out uneasily. I turn to Cordelia, "You probably have a better idea of what's going on with everyone than I do right now, what do you think?"

"Give it time," Cordelia replies immediately, "We can try talking once everyone's had time to cool off. Right now I think the most we can do is let everyone who wants to see Ben know where they can find him."

"And if anyone tries to start something we kick their ass," Diana nods vehemently.

"What?" Cordelia and I say as one.

"Like you did yesterday with Sully," She elaborates, clenching her fists, "I could totally do it, I'm the best at fighting without weapons."

I look at Cordelia, eyes wide. "Chrom mentioned a fight between you two but I thought it was a minor thing! Not an open brawl!"

Cordelia is turning a very vibrant shade of red and looking like she is currently regretting all her life's choices.

"It wasn't her fault Dad. Not really. Sully was saying…" Severa falls very suddenly silent at the look Cordelia gives her, "Uhh… well, she had it coming anyways."

"Do I want to know?" I look to Cordelia, unable to keep the dread out of my voice.

"I'd rather you didn't," Cordelia replies, face falling into her hands out of mortification. "I recognize it didn't set the best example, but please understand that Sully didn't so much cross a line as charge her horse over it at top speed. I wasn't expecting it, and reacted rather poorly. It won't happen again. And that goes for everyone, alright?" She gives the girls a warning look from between her fingers.

"…I still want to know what she said," Diana says, in a bit of a pout, "If it got mom that upset it must have been something really crazy."

Behind her Severa catches my gaze and mimes covering Diana's ears. I nod in understanding. Then look down at Lumír.

"He wasn't in the room Dad, don't worry," Severa nods. "He was with Virion. He's been giving Lumír music lessons."

Lumír perks up a bit when he realizes he's become the subject of conversation. The kid has been about as patient as a four year old can possibly be under the circumstances, not really paying attention to anything and instead trying to amuse himself by playing around on the floor. His recorder is thankfully elsewhere right now, or else the kid would no doubt have derailed the conversation ages ago.

Still though, I wish I'd thought of a way to better include him in the conversation. I hadn't even considered how much of this would all go over his head. I should have expected it though. He's seen more than any four year old should ever have to, but he's so young that I doubt he really understands what he's even been through. Meanwhile the next youngest is Diana, who was born nearly a decade earlier and is, for the most part, mature well beyond her years.

"You're getting pretty bored, huh kiddo?" I crouch down and lift Lumír onto his feet, dusting him off.

Lumír wiggles a bit as I hold him steady, giving me a huge nod.

"And you didn't understand any of this, did you?"

Lumír shrugs.

"Alright… All you need to know is that… your dad kept a secret he shouldn't have, and because of that some people got hurt. So you need to be on your best behavior even if people are acting angry with me, okay? Because what I did hurt them."

Lumír blinks slowly, staring up at me with questions plain on his face. Questions I am not experienced enough to interpret.

I glance over to Diana, who silently mouths an interpretation, 'Why?' Ah yes, I should have expected as much. The number one every question toddler loves to ask.

"You want to know why I kept the secret?" I ask just to be sure. Sure enough, Lumír's head starts bobbing. "Well… it's because the secret was very scary, and when people are scared they can do really dumb things sometimes. So everyone's mad at me because I was… very dumb."

Lumír thinks very hard on that for a moment, then reaches up and pats me on the head.

"Still love me even if I'm being a dummy, huh?" I grin down at Lumír.

Lumír smiles up at me, head bobbing.

"Love you too, little man," I pull him into a hug, then lift him up off the ground. It's not something I've ever done before; my experience with kids his age is all but nonexistent. And as such it takes me a moment to figure out where to put my hands before he stops squirming at how bad I am at carrying toddlers. Once I do figure it out though he looks quite happy with the arrangement, sitting comfortably in my arms as I look towards the others.

"Alright, so we're all going to do as Cordelia said and keep some distance between me and most of the Shepherds right now. That means anyone who wants to see me- for reasons other than picking a fight, mind you- will have to come to me. And we are not going to get into fights with anyone if we can help it, okay? I don't know what Sully said that was so terrible but I think Cordelia and I can both agree that we don't want any more incidents like… whatever that was."

"Absolutely yes," Cordelia nods, managing to look impressively stern despite being flushed red with embarrassment, "If I find out either of you girls are following my example in this regard I will not be happy with either of you. Is that clear?"

"I understand."

"Yeah, yeah, I got it. Is that it then?" Severa looks between the two of us impatiently, "Because if there's nothing else I'm going to start telling everyone where to find you. Which I'm assuming means sending them here?"

"For now," I nod, feeling a bit surprised that my daughter is so eager for messenger duty. Seems like the sort of thing she'd usually find a chore.

"Cool, I'll get on that then," Severa says, walking over to me and holding her arms out, "C'mon you little gremlin, let's get going."

Lumír makes a wordless noise of protest and buries his face in my shoulder, which gives me an extreme case of the warm and fuzzies.

"Oh, you want to stay?" Severa frowns, "Well, I was going to take you to get your recorder while I was at it, but if you don't want it…"

And suddenly Lumír is entirely done with being carried by me. Severa smirks triumphantly as she takes the squirming child from me and leads him to the door, "Yeah, that's what I thought." She opens the door, ushers Lumír out in front of her then turns back, "C'mon Diana, let's go."

Diana blinks at that, "What?"

"You're helping me. Carrying messages is like, your thing in this world, right? So let's go," Severa waves her hand towards the door.

"But I wanted to… oh. Oh! Right, I'm coming!" Diana runs over to the door, then turns back to Cordelia and I, smiling brightly, "Don't worry, we'll take our time sending people over!"

"Ugh!" Severa rolls her eyes, closing the door behind her, but the girls' voices still carry from the hallway, "Do you have to be so obvious about it?"

"Severa, we're leaving them alone in a room together, they were going to figure out what you were doing."

"What I'm doing? I'm trying to let them deal with their issues, you're the one who's talking like…" Her voice fades into the distance at that, leaving Cordelia and I to wallow in the sheer fucking ocean of awkwardness that they left in their wake.

I let out a long sigh, moving over to the couch and pretty much collapsing into it. After taking a moment to collect my thoughts I look over to Cordelia. She looks lost in her own head at the moment, still embarrassed from the kids and their antics. After a moment though she realizes I'm watching her, and straightens up, "Yes?" She asks, looking at me with a mixture of nervousness and expectation.

"…Are you alright?" I ask, deciding it's best to just be upfront.

"If you're still referring to the incident with Sully, then yes, I'm fine," Cordelia shakes her head dismissively. "As I said, Sully was… impossibly rude, and I wasn't expecting it. I reacted badly. That's all."

"I… I'm not just talking about Sully. You were stressed out even before that. The war wasn't easy on any of us, but you had it worse than most," I say, trying to choose my words carefully, "So, having to defend me after all that must make things more difficult on top of all that."

Cordelia arches an eyebrow at that, "Ben, I don't have to do anything. Defending you is not an obligation on my part. It is something I do because I feel it is right."

"You're sure it has nothing to do with us having two kids from an alternate timeline?" I reply with a frown, "Because I know you have better reason than most to be upset with me."

"I told you before I don't blame you for what happened," Cordelia shakes her head, "You didn't kill my fellow knights; that was all the actions of Gangrel and his men."

"Actions I made myself complicit in by keeping my silence," I reply immediately, "Cordelia, I didn't point my blade at you or the others but I as good as watched it happen. I hurt you. And that shouldn't be forgotten just because I'm trying to make things right now."

"I haven't forgotten," Cordelia replies, eyes suddenly blazing, "Ben, do not think for one moment that your mistake will ever leave my mind. That will stay with me for the rest of my life." I nod solemnly at that, and her expression softens, "I do forgive you though."

"What?" I can only stare in stunned silence at that.

"Is that so hard to believe?" Cordelia smiles softly at me, "Ben, I care about you a great deal. You're my friend. And friends can forgive each other for mistakes, even the big ones. I've seen enough to know you're doing everything in your power to make those mistakes right. And to know that you can't do that alone. I am helping you because I want to. And before you bring it up again, you being the father of my children has nothing to do with it." She says this last part with an expression that tells me I need to use the word 'obligation' a lot less in our conversations going forward.

"O-oh," I reply lamely, "Alright, so… defending me isn't a problem for you then. That's- that's good to know. But… right!" I rally myself as I suddenly remember what we were originally talking about, "But, even so, I'm still worried about all the other stress you're under. Especially with the trauma you're dealing with."

Cordelia winces at me bringing that up, "That… really isn't something we should be concerned with right now."

"Me and the kids have been concerned with it for the past week Cordelia. And we are not going to stop. Also if I'm being perfectly honest with you my stupidly bloated guilt complex is going wild at the thought of you not being able to fly after an incident my dumb ass failed to prevent. That was not another invitation to talk about my issues, for the record, that was just me making it perfectly clear that you are not under any circumstances going to convince me not to worry about this."

"It's really not a serious problem at the moment!" Cordelia protests, "The war is over; there's no need for me to fly right now. Besides… I don't even have a pegasus. I'll be just fine down here on the ground with everyone else."

"…Yeah fuck that." I shake my head definitively, "Not a fan."

"Ben, I'm serious."

"Well so am I!" I scowl, "You should be in the air. It's what you love. It's where you belong. Keeping you grounded is like… like the sun going dark, or something. It's screwing with the natural order. And everything feels colder and darker without it. Ugh, that was corny. Forget I said that last bit. I just… I want to help you, okay? You've been doing way more than your fair share helping me lately, so let me help you and return the favor however I can, please."

"…I appreciate that Ben," Cordelia smiles at me, "I truly do. It means a lot that you feel that way. And if I should think of a way that you might help then I'll certainly let you know. But right now I think what I need most is time."

"Believe me, I know what that's like," I mutter, looking down at my hands, "Waaaaaay too well."

"I had thought you were past the worst of it," Cordelia says with a worried look, "You did take up an axe again when fighting Gangrel, didn't you?"

"I did, but I haven't actually tried to repeat that little phenomenon," I grin sheepishly, "Haven't really done any training since that battle. Mostly because of all the marching and flying and getting locked up that's been going on, but… also because I'm scared to pick up that axe and find out that nothing really changed after all."

Cordelia thinks on that for a moment, "Well, what made you change in the first place? What was different when you fought Gangrel?"

"Two things, really," I reply, having thought on this a great deal since then, "Diana was the first thing. Knowing her and Owain had come to save me made me feel less alone than I'd felt in… a very long time. And second, I knew that if I didn't pick that axe up and fight right that moment Owain would die. I had to save him." I smile bitterly at the thought, "Libra was right all those months ago. All I needed was the right reason. A good reason."

"Maybe I'll find such a thing someday," Cordelia sighs.

"Knowing you, I'd say you have plenty," I shrug, "You find joy in flying, and you use it to do good for everyone you know. And you're not alone in this either. The kids care about you, too. You'll find your wings again."

"You sound so sure."

"Because I am," I smile at Cordelia, "You're stronger than I am by far Cordelia. If I can learn to fight my trauma, then I know you will too."

"Thank you Ben. That means a great deal to me," Cordelia says with a smile.

"Any time. And if you think of anything I can do to help, you just say the word, alright?"

"I'll be certain to do so," Cordelia replies, looking towards the door, "Though for now I think we have other matters to attend to."

I follow her gaze, and after a moment hear what she's referring to: the slapping of bare feet on the floor outside. The door flies open with a force that would be alarming if it were anyone but Nowi coming through.

"Yaaaaay it's Ben! You're not locked up anymore!" The Manakete hurls herself across the room at me with enough force that I find myself hastily vacating the couch for my own safety, much to her immediate disappointment, "Hey! You were supposed to catch me you meanie!"

"Nowi that is quite enough!" Maribelle scolds as she comes walking into the room, "We do not jump on the Khan's furniture! We are guests here!"

"Booooring!"

Maribelle moves in like a beast on the prowl to catch Nowi and give her the scolding of a lifetime, revealing a gasping Gaius standing behind her in the hallway, "Sorry about that Red, Chuckles. I know you two were having some important conversation, but she gave me the slip."

"It's quite alright Gaius, we had just finished," Cordelia says with an amused smile.

"Good to hear," Gaius walks further in, leaning heavily on the doorframe as he catches his breath. After a moment he grins up at me, "So I heard somebody tried to kill you again, huh Chuckles? You have the worst kind of talent for attracting the crazies."

"Seems to have sucked you in well enough," I reply with a smirk.

"Hey, I'll be the first to admit I qualify," Gaius laughs.

He comes in, taking a seat with Cordelia and I, and the three of us start talking. After a minute or two Maribelle and Nowi join in, the latter looking about as behaved as can be expected from her. And we just… hang out for the rest of the afternoon.

There's no more drama. No terrible revelations. For the first time in what feels like ages I get to just be with friends for the sake of it. And yeah, there's a weight still there, knowing that I'm not welcome around the others yet. There's a part of me that wonders at all the people I haven't seen; wonders what they must think of me. But seeing that there's people here who still care about me and want to be friends with me in spite of everything that's happened makes that weight feel lighter.

A part of me is actually starting to think that everything might turn out alright.


Another chapter, another case of me not covering nearly as much ground as planned because I cannot seem to account for how much space certain topics take to properly address. One of these days I'll budget my word count properly for intense family discussions, lol.

Original goal was to cover a lot more ground with the other Shepherds, but I just didn't have the room for it all once I was done with everything else. So the only real reveal you get for now is Nowi. Who is acting the same as always because that girl and grudges simply do not mix. As for the rest of the cast, we'll cover them more next time.

Until then, I as always encourage you to come check out the Fanfiction Treehouse discord.

discord .gg/9XG3U7a