I didn't know

Thursday morning and Addison stood at the surgical board watching the day's cases being written up. Debbie put her texta down and walked off.

Addie's message bank sounded and she checked her messages, receiving another from Lily to call her. But Addison had actually been enjoying herself with Derek and Meredith out of town and hadn't thought to return any of her calls.

She looked back at the board.

She had a c-section, assisted by Stevens.

Burke had a valve transplant assisted by Karev and Yang.

Derek, who was due back today from New York, was clipping an aneurism, assisted by O'Malley.

And Richard had a kidney removal, assisted by Shepherd.

Shepherd!
Addison read again.

What Fool Nurse has made that mistake? She thought.

"Morning" Miranda joined her, looking over the board.

"I put Stevens on your case"

"That's great – look at this, some one made a mistake," Addison said, pointing to where Shepherd was assisting Richard.

Bailey said nothing.

"Like Derek is going to assist Richard" She laughed a little, but Miranda still said nothing.

Addison began to feel a weight in her stomach.

"Debbie" She called to the head Nurse who looked over.

"There's a mistake on the board".

The Nurse looked at her unimpressed.

"No there isn't, not on my board" She went back to her work.

Addison walked over to where the nurse stood.

"Clearly there is a mistake" Her voice was a little agitated.

"Addison" Miranda tried to interrupt.

"No Miranda, Debbie knows full well that Derek Shepherd is not assisting Richard… and I was just trying to help her by pointing it out".

Debbie pushed past Addison with an eraser and a texta.

Addison stood satisfied behind her as she wrote, a growing audience of Nurses gathered with George and Cristina looking on.

Assisted by Dr. Meredith Shepherd! She placed two exclamation points after Meredith's name.

"Meredith Shepherd" Addison said, her voice soft and forced.

Oh my god he married her, she thought as her cheeks flushed crimson red.

She looked around awkwardly.

"I didn't know," She said to no one in particular.

"Well apparently you were the last to find out" Debbie said walking off.

"It's all behind me, it's all behind me. Addison thought as she tried not to show her humiliation.

"I didn't know" She looked at Miranda, shrugging her shoulders a little; she excused herself to the closest bathroom.

The Blessing

Everyone gathered at Joes again that night to celebrate the newlyweds.

"To the Doctors Shepherd" Preston raised his glass and everyone cheered. Derek and Meredith shared a kiss.

"Get a room" Cristina said dryly.

Burke laughed at her, as under the table she rubbed his leg.

"You need more liquor Cristina" George said standing up… he gave Lily a small kiss as he passed her, heading to the bar.

Derek stood and stepped over Meredith's legs to sit next to Lily.

"Look at you all happy… anyone would think you just married the love of your life" She leant over and gave his hand a squeeze.

"I know, can you believe it?" He sighed, the happiness almost overwhelming for him.

He shook his head as if scared it was all a dream.

"I don't want to put a dampener on things Der, I really don't… but did you see Addie at all today?" Lily asked, concerned that Addison had not returned her phone calls.

Derek looked up at her, and shook his head. He had heard that Addison had found out.

"I know it's selfish, but I want to be happy… I don't want to feel bad or guilty about that" He whispered almost.

Lily looked at him.

"I understand that Derek" She said.

"Derek" Meredith nudged him to make him look to the door.

Lily looked over her shoulder to see Addison and Parker standing in the doorway.

Addison was dressed in a stunning black evening dress and she looked back at them all.

She said something to Parker, who waited at the door as Addison, holding a paper bag walked over to where Derek and Meredith sat.

She didn't acknowledge Lily, instead she placed her hand lightly and briefly on her shoulder.

"Derek… Meredith… I wanted to give you my best" She spoke with a steady tone, wanting to get the words out. Everyone looked at her amazed but Addison's eyes were focused on Derek.

"Addison…" He started.

"I wanted to come and wish you a happy life… I hope you find, in each other the love and joy you've been searching for" She said and extended her hand, holding the paper bag in front of Derek.

He stood up… and a second later Meredith stood too.

Derek took the bag.

"It's a wedding gift… Parker helped me pick it out" Addison looked over her shoulder and smiled in Parker's direction.

"You didn't have to" Meredith said softly.

"I know… I wanted to" Addison held her head high.

She started to turn away, leaving Derek speechless.

Stopping as if she remembered something she turned back.

"Don't take each other for granted" She said the words directly to Derek then she shifted her eyes to Meredith.

"Take care of him," She said sadly, and Meredith nodded.

Then she turned and walked quickly to Parker, his hand extended as if to support her.

They left the bar.

"Open it" Lily said, curious about the gift, as George sat down next to her again.

Derek sat down, slowly unwrapping the gift.

He pulled out a frame. Saying nothing, Meredith took the frame and Read the words that were written.

IRISH WEDDING BLESSING

May the road rise to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon the fields.
May the light of friendship guide your paths together.
May the laughter of children grace the halls of your home.
May the joy of living for one another trip a smile from your lips,
A twinkle from your eye.
And when eternity beckons,
at the end of a life heaped high with love,
May the good Lord embrace you
with the arms that have nurtured you
the whole length of your joy-filled days.
May the gracious God hold you both
in the palm of His hands.

And, today, may the Spirit of Love
find a dwelling place in your hearts.

Amen

The group sat in silence, contemplating the words… and Addison's gesture.

Better get started

Meredith sat on the bed, in her old Dartmouth T-shirt, rubbing her legs with moisturiser.

Derek stood in the doorway leaning and watching.

"Now I could watch you do that all night" He said with a huge grin.

She looked up at him, wiped her hands on a towel and chucked it at him.

"That's cause you're a dirty old perv" She laughed.

He came to her at the bed, and pushed her back, lying above her.

"No! That's cause I adore you. I adore everything about you Meredith Shepherd… have I told you that lately" He looked at her very seriously and she stopped laughing.

"Not nearly enough" She said and he leant in and kissed her. When he pulled back, he seemed to take a moment to take her all in, before rolling over to place his head on the pillow next to her.

"I'm sorry for tonight, with Addison… if it made you uncomfortable" He said.

Meredith sat up and considered what he had said. She rested her head on the bed head and sighed.

"It didn't, it felt like…. Closure. That's such a cliché' but I'm not stupid, I know that you and Addison still…. Still have some connection…" Derek went to object.

"Shhh" Meredith turned and placed a finger on his lips.

"I know it's not love… but I do understand, she was your family for so long, that deserves a goodbye" She smiled at him sweetly and shrugged her shoulders a bit.

"You're amazing" He smiled back.

"I know" She joked.

"Know really, I put you through… hell, I made you wait for a decision, got angry at your impatience… then I gave up… and you …. You took me back" He sat up too and she took his hand.

"I love you" She said and they kissed again.

"But if you want to make it up to me again Dr. Shepherd I have an idea" She said, playfully unbuttoning his shirt.

"Hmmmm I have lots to make up" He agreed, playing along with the joke.

"Aha… and you'll be making it up for a long time" She giggled.

"Well I better get started then" He leant in and kissed her neck.

Elsewhere Addison sat at the window of her apartment looking out at the moonlit Seattle skyline. Parker bought her in a coffee and sat on the chair next to her.

"What you did tonight was…" He started to speak.

"What I should have done a long time ago…. Why fight it, right?" Addison looked over to Parker and he gave her a warm smile.

"It is what it is, let's not pretend I'm anything more than I am" Addison made the gesture to Derek and Meredith more for herself than them. She wanted to move on. She deserved to move on.

Parker looked down for a moment.

"I didn't get the approval I wanted… We're shooting the Movie in Boston and New York" He said softly.

"I have to go Monday" Parker said, not knowing how to tell her he wasn't sure when he would get back. But Addison knew their time was coming to an end. She had figured that Parker wasn't the one she would grow old with. But he was important.

Parker would always be the man who made her see she was worth more.

The man who helped her find herself again, when she was more lost than she would have ever acknowledged to anyone, let alone herself.

"So we'd better make the most of these last few days" She looked at him, and smiled sincerely.

"We could commute" Parker said, he greatly cared for Addison and he didn't want this to be the end.

"We could…. But we won't. We're both busy; you're just starting to make a name for yourself… I'm… well I have my life here…." She said and she looked deeply in his eyes.

"I want to thank you" She said.

"For what?" Parker asked confused.

"For helping me find my way again" She said.

He stood up and walked the two steps to her… crouching in front of her, they held hands.

"You were always there," He said, giving her a soft smile.

"And I hope I was more than just a guide" He said, with his trademark Aussie drawl.

She sighed. She could certainly fall in love with him. His looks, his charm, his Aussie wit… him. But she was smart enough now to know that it wasn't their time.

"You were so much more," She said, and she leant down and kissed him.

"I'm going to make these next four days the best of your life," He said with a wink.

"We should get started then, don't you think" She stood and she led him to the bedroom.

Quit George –ing me

"So you're going to Boston first?" Lily had met Parker the following morning to discuss him leaving, and to review pieces of the script.

"How's Addison?" She asked with concern.

"We have an understanding" His voice was a mix of regret and acceptance.

"We're going to enjoy the rest of our time together before I leave" he said and sipped his coffee.

Lily nodded. She knew her time in Seattle would soon be over… but she wasn't sure the next step to take with George.

Things were still as they were before. He was here… she needed to be elsewhere. The problem was that she loved him.

"Is it hard?" She asked Parker. He looked at her a moment.

"The key is the timing, I think Addie and I are getting out just in time… she's certainly a woman I could love… maybe do love…" He trailed off.

"But we're going to make the most of these last days" He seemed to be convincing himself.

"What about you and George?" He asked, wanting to change the subject, Lily shrugged her shoulders.

"More coffee?" Parker asked, getting out the script that they needed to review.

"Definitely more coffee" Lily agreed.

Lily was finishing a call on her cell when George came up behind her.

"Who was that?" He asked, brushing her lips lightly with his.

"My publisher… my book is released next week," She said.

"Wow, that's cool" He was pleased for her.

"I have to go to LA for some interviews… then to New York, before going on to the movie set in Boston" She was looking at her planner as she spoke so she missed the look on his face.

"So you're leaving again" The tone in his voice changed slightly.

Lily looked up from her planner.

"I have too… but I'll be back" She said, confident there was a way to make things work.

"When Lily, when will you back, next Friday, Tuesday the 15th, an evening in May" George was frustrated, just as things were feeling right again it seemed to him that Lily was backing away.

"George, we'll find a way," She said reaching out to him. He pulled away.

"I'm not going to sit and wait for you Lily," He said angrily catching Lily off guard with his tone.

"George" She said.

"Don't George me… I'm sick of everybody always George-ing me…. I should have known"

"Did you expect me to move here, you always knew my work was else where… I'm saying we can make this work" Lily said the last part softly. She knew it would be hard work, but she believed that it was worth it.

"I'm not so sure Lilly" Georges pager started to beep as if a signal that they both should take a breathe.

"I have to go" He looked from the pager to her. Lily's heart sank. His usually warm, comforting eyes were cold.

"I'll see you around" With that he turned on his heel and stomped away.