This really is too fluffy for my liking but oh well, I cant be bothered to rewrite it...
They had been at the hospital for a while, neither of them able to even contemplate going home. Somehow them being there together in the midst of sadness was comforting them. Liam understood that Carla just knew how he felt and he knew how she felt and they were supporting each other to the extent it would almost seem like they were in a relationship together. That caused worry for Liam so he ushered Carla out of the neonatal unit and dragged her out of the hospital and to the car, as soon as they got in their lips connected, somehow all these feelings had been building for them both throughout being in that place. Neither of them could get enough of the other, Liam soon found himself running his hand through her hair as Carla presses her lips firmly against his before they pull away to look into each other's eyes, their foreheads coming to rest together as the tears slide down Carla's face.
"How do we keep coming back here?"
"I don't know" he runs his fingers through her hair and smiles slightly as she moves her lips to his, both of them just kissing before she pulls away, placing both of her hands on his chest rubbing her lips together
"How can it work Liam?" she croaks and he nods glancing downwards before closing his eyes "It cant"
"It feels like a sin" he tries to joke, Carla couldn't help but let a smile flicker onto her face "When I see you, I hate you"
"Snap"
"But when we're like we were back then, I love you"
"And I love you," she says shaking her head as the tears fall "I don't know what to do for the best, Liam"
"Me neither" he whispers and Carla just closes her eyes "Leave Tony, Carla"
"What about Maria? She needs you, Liam, your son needs you. You can just go off with me, you have responsibilities and quite frankly so do I"
"I know we've been through this for what seems like hundreds of times-"
"We have and it's just not practical, you know that deep down and I know that as well, it wouldn't work Liam. I have too much to think about now and seeing your kid in hospital with tubes coming out of him and wires... it's just scary to think that could be my life in a matter of months"
"I'll be there to support you, I will...we can do it together"
"Liam...I can't let you do that, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I took you away from Maria and your kid, I couldn't do it, I'm sorry"
"Can we just go somewhere to talk?" he asks "I just...I need to say some things ok?"
"Just say them here," she says quietly and Liam closes his eyes, it was weird seeing tears slip down his face and it caused her heart to shatter unconditionally
"I love you, Carla-"
"Ugh! Liam, we've been through this countless of times-"
"And I know you love me!" he responds and she just sighs in annoyance at his persistence "Please Carla, just listen to me ok?"
"I can't leave Tony, it's not that simple-"
"You did before, with my help" he states and she just sighs pinching the bridge of her nose "Come on Carla, we'd make it work"
"No!" she exclaims, it felt ever so forbidden and unnatural to do this, yeah it was fun and it was loving before but she just couldn't do it, she couldn't settle down with him as she was convinced it would be a disaster "You're just saying this Liam...you're saying this because you're scared of the fact your son is in hospital"
"That's not true"
"You can say that all you like but the reality is you know it is" she whispers shaking her head, she gulps as he cups her cheek and brushes his thumb against her skin "You need to let me go Liam"
"Is there something you're not telling me?" he asks, she had been ever so off with him lately, pushing him away and he was convinced she was hiding something
"No, it's just...nows not the time-"
"Will there ever be a time for you?" he asks and she sighs, her eyes fluttering shut "Carla!"
"I don't know, maybe, I just don't know what the future will hold. Right now I need stability and I need calmness and quite frankly getting into a relationship with you right now would not be the definition of all of that"
"When the baby is here would you consider it?" he asks, she was so confused by his desperation, she was desperate to have him as well but she just couldn't see past how forbidden it was
"I don't know Liam, how am I meant to know how I will feel in the coming months...I don't think you understand that I'm going to go through a huge change and that it's going to be stressful-"
"I'll be there for you, both of you" he reaches out to touch her bump and it felt ever so right for him to do that to her "It's going to be ok"
"No one knows how it's going to be Liam" she whispers and Liam nods leaning in to kiss her softly on the lips, their eyes meeting before he kisses her on her forehead "That's the scary part-"
"Then let me be that one constant in your life"
"How would it work, tell me how it would work?"
"We'd just tell both Maria and Tony that we're in love and we're going to move in together and that we're going to be one happy family"
"It's that simple is it?"
"Yes"
"I think you're deluded, Liam" she whispers with a soft shake of her head "I really think you're deluded"
"Carla, please"
"I cant Liam, not yet, it's not a no it's a...not yet" she takes both of her hands in his "I have too much to lose right now and the last thing I need is more stress"
"I will prove it to you Carla that you mean the world to me"
His words always unsettled her, it wasn't even because they were horrible or nasty but mainly because it was the opposite and that they made her think long and hard. When she got back to Tony that evening she tried her best to act normal, she was laying in his arms and he had his hand somewhat firmly over the roundness of her tummy, it was protective and she knew when the truth came out she would break the lives of everyone around her including Liam's as well as her own. She smiled and hummed slightly as the baby moved, Tony enthusing a bit too hard for her liking about it causing her to feel immense guilt. That feeling didn't leave her throughout the night, she was tossing and turning and of course Tony noticed leaving her to sigh in annoyance at more lies coming out of her mouth, making the excuse that it was the baby moving leaving her to question how close to home she could get. With Tony seemingly happy with her excuse he went off to work leaving Carla home alone which she was more than happy to do as work really wasn't going to be her thing today.
"Oh for god's sakes" she mutters picking up her phone seeing Liam's contact, she presses answer "What do you want Liam?"
"I just wanted to make sure you're ok after our little chat"
"Well I'm great, lacking in sleep but I'm feeling as good as I can be with that" she smiles slightly, she couldn't lie that she was touched with him checking up on her "You should be working instead of ringing me"
"Tony sent me home for some reason, he seemed kind of angry...I don't know"
"He's probably brooding because I was tossing and turning last night, try not to look too much into it" she tries to joke even though there was this awkward tension between them "Why are you actually ringing Liam?"
"I just wanted to see if you thought any more about us..." he trails off and Carla bites her lip, the tears springing to her eyes, she was trying to convince herself that the pregnancy was setting off her tears but she knew it was just the undying love she had for Liam, something she felt as if she couldn't have "Carla?"
"I don't know what you want me to say, I've said all that was needed yesterday" she tries to make her voice not waver but Liam just knew her and he knew when she was upset
"That's it, I'm coming over-"
"Liam no" she starts but it was too late the call had ended leaving her to sob, somehow love and stress contributed to that not that she could ever express those feelings to Tony...
It took a while for Liam to live up to his promise, not that it was one but Carla knew it was beside the point. She looked at the clock, he had been twenty minutes leaving her to sigh at the possibilities of one of his empty promises once more. She wondered why she kept doing this, playing into his hands and letting him play into hers but the more she thought about it the more she knew this is what they did and it was just them and if she was honest she wouldn't change that for the world. An hour had passed and there was no sign of Liam, Tony pinged a message off to her saying that he had an emergency meeting with some shareholders in Glasgow leaving her to groan in annoyance at another lonely night and the fact they left on awkward terms didn't really help shift the feeling of discomfort. There was a knock at the door and Carla opened it to find Liam standing there armed with a bouquet of flowers and a bag of fish and chips causing Carla to smile softly and immediately invite him in.
"So for you, I got you a sausage and chips because I don't know where you stand on the whole eating fish when you're pregnant thing-"
"You do realise I can eat cooked fish" she teases and Liam rolls his eyes "Surprised Maria didn't drill all things pregnancy into you"
"Good job I got a large portion of cod and chips then, isn't it?" Liam smirks ignoring her jibe and Carla grins at him before clicking the TV off and getting under her blanket "And this is for you"
"Hmm thank you" she smiles and Liam climbs under the blanket with her "You didn't have to come"
"You don't need to pretend that you're not stressed" he whispers and she nods slowly before biting her lip "Can I help you in any way?"
"I don't know" she shrugs before sighing "I just think my life is a bit of a mess right now, that's all"
"It's ok, I understand" he smiles resting his arm on the back of the sofa, she shuffles over and curls into his side "Are you sure you're ok? You look really peaky"
"When it moves, it just makes me feel off" she pulls a face and Liam rests the side of his face against the top of her head "It's not a big deal and it's just something I will have to get used to"
"I reckon it's a girl" Liam smirks and Carla raises her eyebrows at him before laughing slightly "Just a feeling I get"
"And how have you come to that conclusion?"
"Well Maria said-"
"Oh here we go" she nudges him and he grins down at her as she swings her legs onto his lap "Go on then what did Maria say"
"If you crave salty things you're more likely to have a boy and if you crave sweet things you're more likely to have a girl"
"Let me guess she got it from one of those baby magazines in the salon"
"Yeah..." Liam grins and she just giggles slightly before wrapping her arm around his middle, Liam's arm pulling her in closer "This is nice"
"Hmm yeah" she nods slightly, she didn't even realise how domesticated they looked "Oh!"
"What?" he looks at her full of concern and she widens her eyes "Carla"
"Here" she takes his hand and rests it across her tummy, he laughs and rests his forehead against hers before smiling "I reckon boy, by the way"
"How have you come to that conclusion?"
"Even though it's small, kicking like that...gonna be a footballer" she smirks and Liam just laughs at her comment "I would place a bet with ya but...I don't know what will happen-"
"Hey, everything will be ok" he assures her and she just shrugs slightly trying not to think about the worst-case scenario "It will Carla, you'll have a baby at the end of this"
"No one knows that not even my doctor knows that but every move they do...I'm so thankful I can still feel them even if I don't so it"
"Come here" he brings her in for a tighter hug, one that was just enough to make her feel comforted "It's going to be ok"
"Even if it's not..." she shakes her head unable to think of the worst
"Even if it's not, you've gotten this far, you've protected your baby, kept them safe for all this time and that...that's amazing in itself" he smiles and she nods, the tears immediately springing to her eyes so Liam kisses her gently on the head
"Never in a million years did I think I would be here, sitting with you and having a kid of my own...it just wasn't on the cards for me"
"I don't know...you're great with our Ryan" he smiles and she shrugs slightly before placing her hand over Liam's that was rested on her bump "And you'll be great with a kid of your own, you just need to believe in yourself...I'm sure Tony will be a great dad as well"
"Yeah" she gulps slightly as he cups her cheek, she bites her lip and he does the same before they both laugh "This is so stupid"
"What is?"
"Us, this whole...thing" she blurts out and Liam sighs slightly resting his head against hers "It's so...wrong and so...right, but mainly wrong"
"We could never do it easy" he murmurs into her head and she yawns widely "Why don't you go to bed?"
"I couldn't sleep" she dismisses him, secretly not wanting him to go "Even though I am shattered"
"Can I do anything to help you?"
"You just being here is enough, thank you" she whispers and lets out a yawn again, he grabs the blanket and pulls it over her body, tucking it around her "Thanks"
"No problem" he kisses her on the head, this slice of domesticity making them both think they could do this when they put their minds to it "I have pudding if you want it"
"Pudding?" she raises an eyebrow and Liam nods getting up to grab the bag, he pulls out a couple of gooey chocolate brownies "You are treating me Leebugs"
"For you, and only you, I got three one for me, and two for you"
"Is that a polite way of calling me fat?" she teases pulling out one of the brownies, he just shakes his head "I was joking"
"I know you were" he pokes her and she pokes him back, he pokes her back again and she giggles before poking him once more until he was on top of her, looking at her in the eyes and smiling as she ate her brownie "This is...awkward-"
"Is it?" she raises an eyebrow and Liam bites his lip before groaning slightly as she wraps her legs around his body keeping him in place as she tears bits of her brownie off and puts them into her mouth, he swoops down and bites her brownie causing her to cackle and scrunch the paper bag up and chuck it on the floor
"And here's me thinking you were house proud" he teases and she just bites her lip, he copies her neither one of them wanting to make the first move "Are you going to let me go?"
"Hmm" she hums squeezing her legs so he was practically on top of her body at this point "Maybe"
"Maybe?" he raises an eyebrow and she smirks at him before clamping her teeth over her bottom lip "Carla-"
"Liam" she hums and he groans slightly causing her eyes to flutter down beneath their bodies, she smirks suggestively raising her eyebrow once more
"You're killing me woman"
"Don't call the police" she jokes and he rolls his eyes before brushing his fingers up and down the side of her body, neither of them giving in "All you have to do is say the word-"
"All because you don't want to" he points out and she grins up at him before returning to bite her lip, he inches her jumper up and she gasps slightly at the feel of his fingers brushing along her skin, some gentle teasing wouldn't go amiss
"Say it, Liam"
"You say it" he smirks before taking in a sharp breath as she squeezes her legs so their bodies were even more sandwiched together
"Bedroom?" they both say in sync; Carla giggles sliding out from under him and taking his hand, dragging him into the bedroom, both of them somehow able to push aside the forbidden atmosphere around them...
