Disclaimer: Dick Wolf, la de da.
Title: Eau de Ferrari
Summary: Oneshot based on Season 2 episode, Cherry Red. Eames gives Goren the perfect birthday gift.
Characters: Goren, Eames
Genre: Humor
Rating: T
Goren and Eames tracked their suspect, Roger Coffman, to Port Newark where he was taking delivery of a cherry red 1962 Ferrari GTO. Coffman had the driver's door open and was leaning into the interior. He was breathing in the smell of the car. Italian leather. This guy was practically in a trance. A two and a half million dollar trance. And it looked like Goren was eager and willing to join him in that trance.
Eames knew that Goren was a car guy. But the Ferrari had really put him over the edge.
"Roger!... Wow!... A Ferrari! ..It's a 1962 Ferrari GTO. This is incredible. What, they made only …they made like thirty two of these, right? …Black leather…Uh, you can smell that leather….Have you ever sat in one of these? No? I..I.. uh..I haven't either. I think I need to get inside…I think I need to get inside."
"You can't!" yelled Roger.
"Yes, he can," Eames told Roger, as she restrained their suspect.
Meanwhile, Goren was higher than a kite on the aroma of the rich Italian leather and the sounds of the powerful Ferrari engine.
"Baby… baby… baby!" said Goren, as he gunned the magnificent engine, "I wish I could tell you how this feels. I can't do it in mixed company, but I wish I could."
Eames rolled her eyes. Since when did any other cop worry about offending her sensibilities?
"Roger, you're under arrest for murder," ordered Eames, as she restrained him.
"You have no idea," exclaimed Goren, repeatedly gunning the engine.
"You son of a bitch!" cried Roger.
"You have no idea," repeated Goren.
"Get out of my car…Get out of MY CAR!" screamed Roger, as the uniforms cuffed him and dragged him away.
Eames took several steps away from the Ferrari, but suddenly realized that Goren was not behind her. He was still in the car, still gunning that incredible engine. She turned around, walked back to the vehicle and leaned towards him.
"You have to come out now."
Goren gave her a sidelong glance, looked like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. And reluctant to let go of the cookie in his hand. Shit, am I going to have to pry him out of this damn thing? It took a couple of minutes, but Goren finally did relinquish his hold on the Ferrari.
Back at One P.P. at Roger Coffman's interrogation, Goren referred to the Ferrari as, "That little wet dream you took delivery of this morning." The defense attorney attempted to pass it off as simply receiving stolen property, but Goren went for Roger's emotional jugular. He brought out the collection of model cars Roger had built as a child. Used the models and his old man against him. And got his suspects to reveal enough to implicate themselves. Just another day in the life at Major Case.
A couple of months later it was Bobby Goren's birthday. He and Eames always gave each other birthday gifts. These gifts were usually relatively impersonal. But this year Eames had been inspired to find the perfect gift for Goren.
Eames had located the basic materials on Ebay. She was lucky enough to win the auction. She brought the materials to a local seamstress. The old woman smiled and listened carefully to Eames' instructions. Then she created exactly what Eames had described.
Eames handed Goren his birthday present. She had found kiddie gift wrap with model cars on it. She knew Bobby would get a kick out of it. He ripped off the paper. He was about to remove the lid from the box and Eames held up her hand in the stop sign.
"What?"
"Close your eyes, Goren."
"Close my eyes?"
"Yeah."
He closed his eyes.
She took the lid off of the box and lifed out the gift. It was still in the large zip lock plastic bag. She unzipped the bag. Gave it a moment to breathe. Then she placed the open bag under Goren's nose.
"Take a deep breath, Goren."
But he already had. The super sensitive nose of the famous Detective Robert Goren had already detected the aroma. How had he referred to it previously? The smell of Italian leather is intoxicating. Well, this is as close as he would get to owning a Ferrari.
Goren opened his eyes. The zip loc bag contained something in black leather. Intoxicating black Italian leather. The leather had come from the seat of a Ferrari that had survived a crash. Eames had to beat out the fierce competition on Ebay for it and then had the seamstress create the black leather throw pillow about sixteen inches square.
Bobby Goren was stunned. His olfactory memory readily recalled the smell of Roger Coffman's Ferrari. This pillow smelled identical. Eames knew that Goren liked the gift. Ten minutes later he was still standing there inhaling the pillow.
"Thank you, Eames, it's …uh…wonderful."
"What else would you get for the man who has everything?" she smirked.
"I didn't know you could...uh... gift wrap a wet dream," grinned Goren as he clutched his pillow to his face.
FIN.
