This feeling of loneliness envelopes me, like a thick fog. As I stumble blindly through the fog an over looming shadow of doubt lingered over my own. This disdainful forlorning feeling numbs my every nerve. I find myself waking up but still feeling as if I'm in a dream.

Waves of confusion constantly pour over me. I feel as if my heart is no longer my own. I frantically searched my memories; retracing my every step. Futile as it may be I went over them again and again. How could I forget that the best place to hide something is in plain sight? How could I not see that he had stolen something from me, though not consciously? But with it gone, I feel empty; incomplete. As if I lost something that I just regained, I was frustrated, yet could feel no real rage. I felt depressed, yet could not feel any true sorrow.

Not only can I feel no love without a heart, but also I cannot truly feel at all. This emptiness, it feels as if I'm slowly suffocating. Despite the fact that I am surrounded by hoards of smiling laughing friends, I feel no happiness. I can barely feel them, though I know them only to be a touch away, it feels as if we are worlds apart. The words I long to say the most only seem to increase the distance.

What use is there in a life loving a man whose heart has already been stolen? Though I may have his momentary attention his mind is always on her. Constantly I wish to be near you, yet I cringe at your touch. For one who repulses me, why do you torture me so. How could you be such an exasperating person? Not sure if I want to just hit you or cry into your arms. I feel as if I am dead, but know otherwise because I feel pain.

Alive yet never living.