Hooked under her arms were stronger ones, holding her close, cherishing her for what she was/ How she wished to feel like she was the only thing in someone's world again, right now she did, it was an interesting contrast. Tears were shed against his shoulder, his dark grey t-shirt darker than it was before as it was sodden with her tears. Similarly, her hair was sodden with his. All they seemed to do was cry, it was slightly less painful when they did it together, and it helped relieve that pain in a way.

"I'm so sorry"

"No"

Her words were tired, every now and then he would say that he was worried but realistically what could he do? Carla valued his input, she valued him as a whole even if there was grief between both kinds of grief. Anger was present but she didnt act it on him, she acted it on her environment.

"No, please...no"

He pleads with her as she walks over to the bassinet, it was the way she folded it up unable to even comprehend it belong there - it was just too painful.

"How am I meant to do this then Liam? How am I meant to pretend-"

"We haven't even given her a name yet and you're here packing up her stuff like she doesn't matter!"

"Oh get off your high horse, where were you, Liam? Swanning around Maria like she's bloody god's gift whilst I was here carrying your baby, your daughter and for what? For you to not bat an eyelid-"

"You know it was difficult I thought you understood Carla, of all people you would be the one to understand from the fractured family you came from"

She slapped him, the anger too much and that mixed with grief...it was too much for her to cope with, everyone had their breaking point and this was Carla's.

"I hate you"

"That's the thing though isnt it?" he chuckles and she shakes her head, he could almost see the steam funnelling out of her ears "You dont hate me, you're incapable of that"

"Why are you here?"

"We lost our baby yesterday"

Her eyes pricked with salty tears, her inability to look at his present and that just made them fall down her cheeks like a glorified waterfall. She wished things were different.

"You didnt even care about her-"

"You know thats not true"

"Do I?"

It was going around in circles and she knew it, it was just relentless. The same questions with the same answers, over and over. It was exhausting.

"I'll ask you again" she tried "Why are you here Liam?"

Silence.

"Because I care"

"Get out"

She had finally reached the end of her tether, grabbing him by the shoulder and guiding him to the door with such strength she didnt know she had. Even she was surprised by it.

"No!"

He raises his voice, their eyes meeting instantly and it wasnt long before his lips were on hers, their body's pressed against the wooden door to her flat before she shoved him away. She shoved him again, and then again until he hold her arms in his arms, their eyes meeting and that grief was instantly shared. How was their life going to be the same again?


Carla was different now, he got that. The way she wanted to escape immediately yesterday, get away from those feelings of grief and just breathe. It was fight or flight and she chose the latter, he got it, it's what she did. Even though the convincing feelings of knowing her didnt elaborate then, he genuinely thought she would stay, wait it out until the bitter end but she didnt, she couldnt even tolerate being around her lifeless daughter, she needed out. He got it and with that, he took her home, he took her to a place of safety.

"Why run?"

"Why experience putting yourself in painful situations?"

Her response was understood, he got it. What was better...her being there, in the hospital, and experiencing the pain of their now-dead daughter or being at home where she could force herself to forget and not experience the pain of that, she knew which one she would rather have.

"Do you even care?"

"Of course, I care" her voice breaks, she immediately glares into his eyes and he felt bad "How could you suggest I didnt?"

"Because...because you ran"

"Because I was scared Liam, I was scared. I had already failed her, she didnt survive, this is my fault"

"Carla this is not your fault"

"It is my fault, she was my daughter!"

That hurt, he swallowed it down though, she was hurting, she had lost a part of her, something she had carried for months on end.

"What do you want from me?"

"I dont want anything from you, Liam, I dont need anything from you!"

"I'm telling Maria"

She laughed and immediately got out of bed, they were just laying there, her back turned to him and it irritated her how two people who were once so close, shared intimacy, created something that was innocent...and how they could do that...?

"You do what you want Liam, you do that anyway so what's it to me? The only thing I can put this down to is you trying to provoke a reaction out of me! For what? For me to swoon and love you? That ship has so far sailed Liam, it's so in the distance, you cant see it on the horizon. You can't love two people!"

"Why?"

"Seriously?" she glares at him, her blood was boiling beyond belief "Just go back to your wife Liam"

"Maybe I will"

"Your life is filled with maybes and maybe you will just do that"

"Please Carla" he begs and she turns her gaze away from him, once again those tears were threatening to fall "Please..."

"Go back to your wife Liam, live the life you deserve to have"