Grief was treacherous, she was hurt from her core and back but that meant that she would have to learn to heal on her own. She cut everyone off, it was what needed to be done and the extent she went to so that she could do that was something beyond what she thought she would do. It started with ignoring calls to then getting a new phone and number so no one harassed her. That was after she got back in England a month after she lost her daughter. Carla was lighter now, lighter than she had been before but the demons were tormenting her and that was when she found herself reliant on the bottle as a sticking plaster to her grief.

The thing was that no one knew Carla was there, she was there around them almost spying on them like a detective. Every now and then she would go to Coronation Street, she would just peer around the corner hoping to spot someone she knew to enforce in herself that the world was still spinning without her baby in it and that people were getting on with their lives. Time went on, time wasnt a healer and time just widened that treacherous gap of grief, opening up like a black hole to suck her in and absorb her, ruin her almost. It was when she concocted a mix of sleeping pills and alcohol her life went downhill and she needed help. It struck something within her and it left her question whether her daughter would want that for her? She knew the answer to that one and with that she got the help she needed.

"I did something stupid and they were all judging me, and for what eh? For bloody what?"

"They weren't judging you, Carla, most of the people in that room...they've been in a similar position to you"

"No they haven't, you know nothing about me" she was angry and that was understandable, she felt like a fraud in her own life, her efforts of pretending were actually ruining her and she knew it "Why are you even here?"

"I've been where you are"

"You haven't had a life ripped from you!" she snaps back and lets out a long sigh, she ruffles her raven hair and then sits on the edge of her bed; it was a bedsit, it was better than it being a two-bed flat thats for sure, it stopped her from imagining the spare room to be her baby's nursery

"I lost my sister, I lost someone close to me and by close to me I mean...you know all this anyway, you understand that pain just like I understand yours Carla"

"I'm scared of myself" she admits her eyes closing in a bid to stop the tears from pouring down her face and ruining her immaculate makeup "I'm scared of being me"

"And thats ok, it's ok"

"Why are we doing this?" the feeling of soft, caring, gentle, loving hands were on her arms, it was warming up her ice-cold grief-stricken core more than she could imagine "Why are we even here?"

"Because I love you, we just clicked didnt we? You get me and I get you"

"Yeah we did" a sad smile was on her face now, her eyes blurry from the tears pooling in the bottom of them "I do love you, I do but it's so hard for me to say that and so soon after"

"After you lost Isabelle, I know"

"I just want my baby back" she sobs and she immediately felt those strong arms around her body, holding her, keeping her safe and being her shield from the world around her "I'm sorry I didnt trust you to help me, and I'm sorry I took an overdose, I just couldnt cope"

"Will you let me help you now? I'm here and I want to help, please let me help and dont push me away"


It was like a key had turned and it unlocked her ability to ask for help. She was dressed in a white t-shirt, her bare legs on display as she spun around the living room, the gold evening light blaring through the patio doors to the balcony of the bedsit. After offloading her problems and returning the gesture she felt lighter like she was able to breathe for once. It was the hospital's suggestion she got help so she found an addiction support group, people just like her who had been through something tragic and then became addicted to the poison in a bottle. That's where she found someone who understood, someone who got it.

"You know you look beautiful under the evening sun"

"You dont look too bad yourself" she was smirking as she turned around, the small of her back pressed against the cool metal pole of the balcony they were on "I know we barely know each other but it's weird, I feel like I know you inside and out, I feel like I've known you forever..."

"Likewise with you"

"Would it be too soon to say that I love you?"

"You can say whatever you like. Me and you we're equals more than equals if thats even possible"

"Pain shared can be pain halved, that mixed with love...its deep, its relieving in a way, it makes it better you make it better and I hope I make it better for you"

"You make it more than better Carla"

"And you make it better Peter, everything you do makes it better and let me tell you something Peter Barlow, I love you...I think it's probably a bit too soon to be saying that though"

"Yeah...you're probably right" he chuckles and she smiles at him, their foreheads resting against each other's as they smiled at each other, the future would definitely be a challenge. No Liam, no broken promises and someone who treated her as their equal.

Never one to admit she needed help, she found herself accepting it and using it, she was healing. She met someone who valued her, understood her not that Liam didnt understand her, he was just torn between two women he loved in his life, she didnt want to be the other woman or cause Maria to be the other woman as well. It was better she stepped away from it all and grieved for her daughter, Isabelle, she was getting there and now with the help and love of Peter Barlow, she was convinced she could get there, in a way he was her equal. Time would tell though, she knew that, but they had time, they had forever to figure it out and thats something she had to do, she had to be happy to make her daughter proud. She didn't know if she could forget the past though, time would tell on that one.

The End