Romanticide

I loved her for the longest time. She has short, raven hair, a slender figure, and the cutest laugh. She's a ninja like no other. Actually, she's the only ninja I know. Yes, she is unique. Not like any other girl I know. She cares more about her shurikens than she does her hair. She'd choose a fight over time to go shopping. She'd rather challenge boys than flirt with them. She was just... different.

There'd be no problem telling Yuffie I love her if only I wasn't...

...her little brother.

Do you think less of me? Can you judge me differently? Is it my fault that fate chose me to love her?

Most people would say yes.

I know this is wrong. I tell myself that every waking day. But I can't get rid of these feelings.

No matter how hard I try, they just can't seem to leave me alone.

So everyday, it tears me apart to look at her with such emotion. A love deeper than a brotherly bond. A love... forbidden.

We've lost our parents when we were very little. But no matter what happened, my sister would go forward with a smile. She'd have taken care of me as both a sister and a mother. Growing up, I've gotten overprotective of her. Especially when it came to boys. I know she's tough and could watch over herself, but I don't want her to get close to any guy but me.

I jerked awake that morning. Sadly, coming back into real life I got up and went to the kitchen.

And there she was.

"Good morning, Riku!" she greeted happily, fixing up breakfast.

"Morning," I said, smiling weakly. I took a seat at the table.

She grinned, walking to me. Her silky, black hair gently brushed onto my face, as she set a sandwich in front of me. When she left, I took a bite, chewing slowly.

She fixed her eyes on me. "Something wrong, lil' bro?"

I shook my head, and smiled once more. "No," was what escaped from my lips, but what I meant to say was, "Yes, I dreamt of making love to you again. Whenever I wake up, I cry knowing I will never get you to love me in the way I want you to. My heart aches whenever I take a glimpse at you. I want you more than you can ever know." But I could never get myself to say it, so I looked back down at the table and continued eating.

Yuffie looked at me, unconvinced, then sighed and walked over.

She put a hard hand on my head and fiercely ruffled my silver hair. "Little bro...!" she grunted, playfully, "You know you can always tell me what's up!" She stopped ruffling and looked me straight in the eye. "Riku... If you ever need me... you know I'll be there." She pinched my cheek and retained her usual perky smile. "So! Feel like goin' out?"

That perked me up. "Cool, um, I--"

"I'll ask the others to tag along too," she added. She was referring to Cloud, Aerith, Tifa, and Leon.

That put a dent on things.

"Oooh..." I said, trying not too sound upset. I wanted it to be just he two of us... "Sorry," I muttered, "I just remembered that I have plans." I didn't like lying to her, but I didn't want her to think I'd be left out. "I'm goin' out with Sora and Kairi." I looked up at her and smiled. "Sorry."

"Okay!" she said, walking to the door. She held on the handle, then turned around, shaking a finger. "Don't come home too late, 'kay?" I nodded. "Well then, take care! Bye bye!" And with that she left, shutting the door.

I stayed in my seat for a minute, then left to my room.

I heard the door opened and shut at 8:46. Yuffie. I sighed. It was night. I've been waiting for her for hours. She came and opened the door to my room, surprised to see me. "You came earlier than I thought you would!" she laughed. "I'll be in my room if you need me." Then she closed the door. I let out a sigh.

Yuffie's all I could think of when she's away. She's all I could think of when she's here. She's the only thing that makes life worth living... and at the same time... worth ending.

I got up and walked out of my room.

And to hers.

I knocked. "Hey," I said. I've always knocked before going into her room. In case, she was changing. Although, I would love to run into her undressed. Gazing at her bare, slender figure... Tracing her curves...

"Come in," she welcomed. I opened her door and entered. She was taking off her boots. I sat next to her. She looked at me. "Somethin' on yer mind?"

I shook my head.

"C'mon, bro," Yuffie urged me, "You can tell me anything, right?" She gave me a nudge.

I hesitated.

"I--" I paused, "There's this girl..."

This is it.

Yuffie jumped up and gave me a nuggie, putting my head in a headlock. Her chest warm against my face...

"Ooooh!" she said, jumping excited, "It's a girrrrrrrrl...!" She was still giving me a nuggie, which meant my head was still in a headlock, which meant... her chest was still pressing against my face. I was in complete ecstasy, as she went on ranting about the "girl" I had brought up. Then after a while, she let go. "So...! What about this girl?"

I stopped looking at her chest, and looked up at her.

"What? Oh..." I trailed off.

She looked so cute when she was excited...

I turned away, remembering she was waiting for an answer to her question.

"... Um, right..." I sighed. I was having a hard time to form the words in front of her. She sat down.

"Well, is she nice?" she asked.

"Yes," I replied.

"Smart?"

"Yes."

"Pretty?"

"Yes," I answered a bit louder, "She the nicest, smartest, most beautiful girl I know."

"Wow!" she exclaimed, with a laugh, "I'm starting to feel jealous!" She was joking of course. She smiled even wider. "What else?"

"She--" I felt a little weird describing the girl to her, when the girl was her. "She's the only one," I said with a sigh, "that makes my heart throb. The only one I want to hold in bed at night." I gulped. "The only one... I want to bare my children one day." I looked down, as my bangs covered my eyes, blushing.

"Oh, little bro..." she teased, this time gently, ruffling my hair. I love her touch... "You should tell her that."

"I just did."

That puzzled her. "Wha--?"

I put my arms around Yuffie and hugged her. I couldn't help it. Over all these years of my feelings piling up, I was about to burst. My eyes stung as tears rolled down my cheeks. I kept my head tucked by her neck.

I could tell she'd been taken by surprise when her body twitched the way it did. But then she settled, leaning her back against the wall. She stroked my hair and hushed me.

"It's okay," she whispered, lovingly.

I held onto her tightly. She was so warm. So soft...

I stopped crying after awhile, then notice what position I was in.

We were silent. She was still stroking my hair.

I smiled. "You're just like mother."

"Hm?"

"In looks," I continued, "... and in characteristics."

She was still confused. "I guess I am," she said, with a soft laugh. "You're just like dad, too."

"Yeah," I laughed, gently, clutching onto her tighter. "I only look like him. But... I won't leave. Like he did," I growled. Then laughed, "Only if you promise not to die like mom."

"Ah..." She felt a bit weird. "Okay, bro," she promised.

"Good." I bent my head lower and sniffed her scent. She smelled nice... I felt her jerk when she felt something cold on her neck... The tip of my tongue.

"Riku...?" she asked, "Are you still crying? It's okay, little bro. You don't need to cry anymore..." She thought it came from a tear.

"I'm not crying," I assured her, running a hand through her ever so soft hair. She felt uneasy. "I'll never leave you..." I whispered. I felt around her back with both hands... Feeling her bra... "... or our family..." She twitched.

"What did you--?"

"You heard me," I answered her.

She gently tried pushing me away, but I stayed put.

"What's wrong, big sister...?" I said, as my lips brushed against her ear.

"Riku... I--" She gulped. "...have to go to the bathroom."

"You and I both know that's a lie."

"Riku, you're acting strange," she said in a low, awkward tone. "Are you feeling all--?'

I looked into her eyes.

"I love you, Yuffie," I whispered. I couldn't wait any longer.

I kissed her.

Oh... How I've longed waited for this moment. To kiss those soft, pink lips... To touch her tongue with mine... To taste her...

'Yuffie tasted way better than that sandwich,' I softly laughed in my mind.

This was my first kiss. And I'm sure this was hers too.

This kiss... was special.

"Mm!" she muffled, "Mm! Mmph!"

She pushed me aside to the ground.

"What the hell, Riku!" she shouted. Oh god, she even looks beautiful when she's terrified.

"I love you," I explained.

"I love you too!" she yelled, "But not like this! This is NOT the way you show you love your sister!"

"But, it IS the way you show love to someone you want to be with forever! Someone you want..." I stopped, walking closer to her. "... to have children with."

Her body trembled. She looked broken.

She backed away, as I crept closer to her, with an outreached arm.

"Riku," she ordered me, angrily, "Get back!"

I got closer.

"Don't get any closer or I'll hate you forever!" she screamed.

"Your threats won't work on me," I whispered. I put both hands on the wall, trapping her. I got her to a corner, where she couldn't move around. "Besides, I don't think you could ever hate me." I gently grabbed both of her arms. "I love you so much, Yuffie." I leaned in to kiss her, but she quickly turned away.

"Stop," she whimpered. Her eyes were stained in red, tears fiercely ran down her hot cheeks. "Let go...! Let me go...!" She showed no feelings of anger anymore. All she felt was afraid. I held her tighter.

"Yuffie... I'm not gonna hurt you," I told her, rubbing her arms with my thumbs. She cried more, frightened. "I'll make you happy, you'll see!" I urged her. She tried to push me off again, but this time I wouldn't let her. I held on even tighter. "Yuffie..." I tried to kiss her again, on her cheek this time, but she shook her head furiously. She was scared. Truly scared... of me.

I let her go.

Her legs wobbled, then she slid to ground. She put her hands over her head and cried.

I put a hand on her shoulder, but took it off when she screamed. I bent down. "I'm sorry, sis," I told her, "I'm sorry." She kept on shaking her head and cried.

She was broken.

She really was broken.

And all this happened, because of me.

I bent down, and reached into my back pocket. I got out something that would ease her pain.

Something that would erase me from her completely.

"Yuffie," I whispered, as I gently nudged her.

She looked up and screamed when she saw what I had in my hand.

"Yuffie," I whispered. She was still screaming. "I love you so much." Tears fell from my eyes. I forced a smile, as I raised up the blade in my hand and slit my wrist. "I love you, Yuffie."

"I always will."

End