Almost Honest
Disclaimer- If I were to own One Tree Hill, Lucas and Peyton would be together, so obviously I don't.
Chapter 2-The Truth About the Truth
On his way home, Luke spotted Rachel jogging. Actually, she spotted him. "Hey Luke," she said energetically, slowing down when she reached him. When she noticed he was wearing the same clothes as the day before, she got curious. "Long night?"
He chuckled slightly as he reached up and scratched the back of his head. "Kinda. I was with Peyton. We got locked out, ended up sleeping outside," he yawned.
"I see," she said. "So what's the deal with that exactly?"
He looked at her confused. "What?"
"You and Peyton," she answered. "What's the story there?"
"There isn't one," he lied. "We're just friends, nothing to really alert the media about."
"I've heard enough bits and pieces about the two of you to know you are lying through your teeth right now," she told him, and then raised her eyebrows. "What about when you weren't 'just friends'?"
"That was," he started and then sighed, "that was a long time ago."
"Newsflash, Lucas. That was only last year," she said. "Feelings like that don't go away that fast. It's not normal for feelings to go away that fast."
"Well, Peyton and I have never been normal," he joked a little uncomfortably. She just stared at him, trying to read his eyes as he started getting curious. "Have you been talking to Peyton or something?"
"I tried," she answered simply, "but it seems to be a touchy subject for both of you."
"Look, Rachel, I-"
"What happened exactly? If it means nothing anymore, why not set the record straight? Why keep it a mystery?"
He just stared at her, wondering how she knew about all of this in the first place. "You ask a lot of questions. Has anyone ever told you that?"
"Yea…and you avoid answering a lot of questions," she said pointedly at him. She sighed as he looked down. "Luke, I'm sorry…I just don't want you regret things later on."
"Like what?" he asked, unsure of what she meant.
"Like not being honest with yourself….and not going after what you want because you're afraid."
"Okay, thank you, Dr. Phil," he joked before he took on a more serious tone. "I know you mean well. It's just, I've never really talked about Peyton and I to anyone…ever," he said finally.
"Well, I'm not one to pry," she smiled slightly as he let out a sarcastic laugh, "but I think it'd be good for you. For whatever reason, just to get it out there. And my door is always open for that."
She started leave, but she turned around suddenly. "Hey," she said. "Can I ask you one more question?"
"Why not," he laughed, looking at her.
"Did she break your heart?" She could tell he was a bit taken aback by her question. As he looked away and sighed, she knew the answer and nodded slightly. "That's what I thought. Just checking," she said.
"Why?" he asked.
"Just making sure I'm not completely delusional," she started jokingly, "…and because you broke hers too." She started to jog off again while he just stared into thin air, letting her words sink in.
Finally, he ran and caught up to her. "How do you know that? Did she say something?" he asked. He didn't like to think of Peyton in pain of any kind, let alone the kind that he would have caused.
"She didn't have to. I see her sometimes," she said as he looked down. "I mean, when she sees you with Brooke…or after talking to you. She just gets that look."
"What look?" he asked shaking his head, not fully understanding.
"She's lonely, and more than that, she misses you," she said, leaving him with a sting of guilt.
He thought of Jake, Ellie, anything to help ease the feeling growing in the pit of his stomach. "Peyton has lost a lot of people in her life, Rachel, and most of them within the last year. How do you figure that her loneliness has anything to do with me?"
"If you need to tell yourself that to make you feel better, then so be it," she said, calling him out. "But if you ask me, you're hiding."
Lucas looked away for a moment before starting to speak again, "Hiding from what?"
"Isn't it kind of obvious?" she laughed in somewhat disbelief. Lucas was still denying it, but if he wanted to hear her thoughts then she most definitely wasn't gonna disappoint him.
"It's like this, Lucas. You're a good guy, but you spend most of your time trying to make up for past mistakes; for people you've hurt. And I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but you're hurting other people in the process," she stated directly at him.
"I'm just trying to do the best that I can, you know? So tell me, oh wise one. Tell me who exactly I'm hurting." It came out more snarky than he intended but he was tired and he was sick of going around on this merry-go-round of Rachel mind games, and he just wanted a straight answer.
"You mean, other than Peyton?" she asked, knowing that truth was wearing him down. When she saw the look on his face though, one of dead seriousness, she decided to get right to it. "If you really want to know who you're hurting the most by this, take a look in the mirror. A good, hard look. The person staring back at you may not seem as familiar as you would have thought."
And with that she was gone, leaving a confused and slightly stunned Lucas. Granted he knew the Peyton comment was coming considering how the rest of their conversation had gone, but a part of him was shocked by Rachel's last words. But along with all of that, other things flashed in his mind. Questions. Ones that Rachel asked him, only to find no answer.
Why keep it a mystery? If it means nothing anymore, why not set the record straight? If it means nothing anymore…
………………………………...
Peyton arrived at the bar only to find it closed. However, she remembered her next door neighbor had a spare key to her house in case of emergecies. "If only I couldn have thought of that before I walked all the way dwn here," he laughed to herself.
She made her way back to her street and successfully got the key from her neighbor. She then spent the next four hours sleeping and hanging around her room being lazy. Until she could hear a slight tap on her doorframe.
She looked up and saw the last face she expected to see. "Back for part two? Or is it three?" Peyton joked coldly as her former best friend walked slowly into her room.
Brooke just stared as Peyton tried to read her eyes, but they told her nothing. "I'm just here to pick up some things I left," she stated blankly and continued making her way around the room, picking up random objects and articles of clothing as she went.
Peyton took Brooke's gestures as that of someone who didn't want to talk. "Yea, I figured," she started, but watching Brooke pack up everything without a word between them was making her uncomfortable.
"Here, just…I don't want to be in your way, so I'll be downstairs or something," she said, making her way towards the door. Just as she arrived at it and was about to take a deep breath, she heard Brooke…and she sounded upset.
"Why did this have to happen to us, Peyton? I mean, why? Why now? Why Lucas? Why…again?" Peyton could tell she was hurt and confused and angry all at the same time.
"I don't know," she admitted honestly. It's not like she had wanted this. "I...I…I just couldn't take it anymore. It was killing me having to lie about it."
"Yet you seem to have no problems with the fact that by telling me, you killed what we had." It came out more harshly than Brooke had meant it, but she didn't care. She was pissed and she wanted to get all of that out there.
"What we had? What we had would've been ruined if I didn't tell you. For the love of God, Brooke. Do you not remember that I tried the 'lying to spare your feelings' thing last year?" she questioned as Brooke glared at her. "You know, it seems like I can't do anything right these days. So I just tried what I thought I should, and it might not have been the best way to go about it but at least I was honest. I didn't do anything wrong…not this time," she finished confidently.
Brooke let out a heavy sigh, "Unbelievable. And the sad thing is, I don't even care anymore."
"Well then, it shouldn't be a problem," Peyton stated as she let out a small laugh. "Our moms would be real proud. All this petty guy stuff ending our friendship."
She wanted it to lighten the mood a little, but as soon as the words came out she was wishing she hadn't opened her mouth a all.
"I cannot believe you had the nerve to say that," a seemingly shocked and furious Brooke replied. "You were the one who was willing to risk our entire friendship over Lucas, Peyton. And not just once, but twice. So don't you dare try to make light of that and say that it means nothing. It's not fair to me or to him."
"Fine. It means something," Peyton admitted. "It means a lot…but does it really have to mean everything? I already told you, I'm not trying to steal him from you. I can't help how I feel any more than you can, but--I'm not gonna act on it. I promise."
Brooke stared back at her, disgusted. "Do not even try to convince yourself that you're holding back for me. I wouldn't want you to do me the disservice of not telling him."
"But I don't want things to change. I just, I wanted you to know the truth," Peyton said desperately. She felt like she was screaming at the top of her lungs, but for some reason Brooke couldn't hear her. Little did she know, Brooke was feeling the exact same way.
"Open your eyes, Peyton," she nearly yelled. "Things have changed, okay? I don't know what kind of alter universe you live in, but people are affected by how you feel, whether you act on those feelings or not. It's out there and there is no going back," she said and they both knew full well that was true. Brooke headed for the door, and just when Peyton thought she was gone she turned and added, "You know, I really hope it was worth it."
The words alone sounded bitter, but the eyes of the one who said it told of a completely different emotion. It was in that moment that Peyton realized exactly how much it hurt Brooke to lose this friendship.
"Brooke," she started, not knowing what she was gonna say next. "I'm sorry. I really am," she finally choked out. "Please believe me when I say I would give anything to have this not hurt you."
There was something genuine in the way she said it that made Brooke look up and into the eyes of the person who had been through so much with her. When she did, she saw the same sincerity and sadness that mirrored her own. "I believe you, and I wish that that were enough," she said quietly with a half-smile playing across her lips. It was the only thing she could do to hold the tears back that were threatening to emerge any second. "Bye Peyton," she finished hurriedly and then rushed out of the blonde's room.
"Bye," Peyton replied, barely above a whisper, to the now empty doorway. This 'friendly' little visit made one thing clear in her mind. Something she owed Brooke and the friendship she sacrificed. She had to tell Lucas.
