A/N: FINALLY, it's here! The last of four one-shots in "Borders of Heaven and Hell". This is a short one about Visser Three's undying love for his worst enemy… and his comparaison to someone very unlikely. I hope you enjoy, and thank you for reading!
Dedicated to XxaRchaNgLexX. Thanks for being my Closet Fan correspondant:P Hope this entices you to post the second chapter of your fic… I'll be waiting!
Borders of Heaven and Hell
"Heaven's Border"
"Love is like war: Easy to start, hard to end, impossible to forget." – author unknown.
Visser Three
She woke up with tears in her eyes. I guess she was afraid. I didn't blame her, so was I. It must not be easy to know you're going to die, and not be able to do a thing about it.
And it's even harder to know someone important to you is going to die. And that it's all your fault.
I had rarely seen Visser One cry. Only a couple times, I think. When she starts crying, you know it's bad. Hopeless. I didn't want to admit it, just as I didn't want to admit that in some strange way, I cared for her above everyone else in the universe. People think I do not care about anything or anyone. And before this, I would have assumed they were right. I had never told her how I felt about her, despite our deep hatred for each other. But subconsciously, at least, we both knew it. She had to know how I felt, or else she would not have been lying next to me right now, in my chamber at the underground Yeerk pool complex. The very place where she would die, just hours from this very moment.
Visser One sat up and pulled the covers over her shoulders. The dim light coming from the hallway beyond my chambers allowed me to see the outlines of her features in the darkness. I could see her eyes glisten softly, and traces of final tears along her cheeks. Final tears… I had done this to her… I sat up next to her and wiped her eyes gently. Why had I done this? Why?
Because I was too power hungry for my own good, that was why. And she had what I desired to accomplish greater power. So I had tried to discredit her, and found her guilty of treason along the way.
Now, she was set to be executed later this very day. And I wished I hadn't done all those things to get her out of my way.
I held her against me as she cried. It was all inevitable now…
---
Here I was now, in my little purple box. Ever since the Andalites – or rather Animorphs had won over the Yeerk Empire, I had been captured and sent to prison. But they had no idea, no idea at all that I had been in prison for a long time already. Deep in my soul, in my mind gone slowly insane, I recalled the memory of that night, and the fateful day after that, as if a tape replaying over and over again. What else could I do to pass my time? Yet, it was a painful way to do so.
I guess I really only realized in that purple box, locked away until my death day, that Edriss Five-Six-Two meant so much more to me than a simple Yeerk Visser whom I chose to rival… I mean, she was a great rival to me, an enemy always… but also, deep down, I think we both came to the realization long ago that there was something more, something deeper in our hateful relationship. We were just too stupid, blind perhaps, to see it or admit it, even to ourselves alone.
I hated her… I loved her… I knew all that now.
I knew it, subconsciously, the day I first met her in person. I felt, even then, that she was something special: The way she laughed, the way she spoke – with that subtle yet obvious authority of hers. I knew it, before our hate even began… before that promotion that ruined everything for me… but also brought me to her, and into a stage of my life I would have never thought I would reach. Love. Passion. For my worst enemy.
I knew it already when Alloran pestered and teased me about her, about loving her, though I denied it angrily at the time. I wondered, why did I get so damn defensive? … The thought caused me to be restless at night, tossing and turning…
And of course, I knew it the day I lay burning, watching her die, and unable to do a single thing about it.
But what is funny is that the only person I can relate to now is one of them. The irony that one of my greatest enemies throughout the years has gone through the very same thing is shocking. Yes, the Animorph called Tobias has lost a great deal as well… he has sacrificed much, and at the very end of his long battle, he lost the only person who'd ever really loved him – his beloved Rachel. Though I would never admit it to anyone but myself, I felt a newfound respect for Tobias. The enemy I'd fought so hard to defeat over the years… Much like Edriss.
Oh, Edriss, why did you have to leave me alone? After you left I felt so broken, so shattered, so unloved…
Was Tobias going through the same thing? Did he feel himself going crazy little by little?
Somehow I doubted it.
Because as similar as our situations were, Tobias didn't have to go through the shame, the guilt… He didn't have to live with the fact that Rachel's death was all his fault… And in the end, he got to tell her how he felt. He got to say "I love you".
And I didn't.
Why him? Why not me?
So often I pondered it. And so often the things I thought of brought her back into my mind…
I loved her. There was no sense in denying it now, locked up forever in a box barely bigger than I. I had even left a hint at my trial… there had been nothing to lose. Only to gain, as maybe someday the Animorphs, thanks to Tobias, would realize that during those last weeks and months of our battle to the death, I had been going through just as much pain as they had…
I had wanted so much to avenge Edriss that I could not see clearly. I'd made so many stupid mistakes… That is why we lost. Not because of my people's surrender. They wouldn't have surrendered if we'd better planned things…
And then, I thought of the wonderful relationship we had, Edriss and I. Those sorrowful thoughts went away in a wisp to be replaced by joyful, nostalgic ones. The memories of every moment spent together… But what was really special about us – I smiled interiorly at this – was our deep, passionate hate for each other. Without that hate it seemed to me our love would have been dull, boring. It was the foundation, the base. Without it, we were nothing.
And I think that now, even in death, Edriss would not want me to stop hating her… Ever.
I hate you, Edriss. Till death do us part. And beyond.
Well there it is! I know it's short, and sappy, and it's supposed to be this short and sappy. :P
Thanks to everyone for reading this "fic" – or these four one-shots. I really enjoyed writing them and though this one isn't as good to me, it has an appropriate ending I find. :) Please don't forget to review!
