Disclaimer: I do not own Shaman King!


Chapter 6

For three days, Yoh remained deep in thought and barely talked to any of his friends. No matter how hard he tried, the agony that he was feeling now couldn't be masked by his usual grins and laughter. He did have a need to talk to someone about it. But he felt that the only one who he needed to talk to was Anna herself.

Bason and Amidamaru went out one day to look for Anna. But, as Yoh had expected, Anna had moved into another place…a place far away from him perhaps. Yoh's friends grimaced as they saw the look on Yoh's face when Bason and Amidamaru came back. But they still sent their guardian ghosts to look for her. They promised that they would not stop until they found Anna. It brightened Yoh's mood up a bit but it wasn't enough.

"Jun, don't just send one kyonshii!" Ren once yelled into the phone. "Send all of them!"

Ryu looked at the Dead Enders, "We have to find Anna for Yoh, guys. Does anybody have any clue where she might be?"

"She must be far away from this place." One of them said, "And probably far away from the places where we expect her to be."

Ryu stood up, "Then we have to go into the wide open road to look for her. Let's go, guys!"

"Mick and I didn't find her." Chocolove told them as he slumped on a chair. "Sorry."

"I don't know why but…" Lyserg shrugged his shoulders, "…for a few minutes, she's somewhere near here then she would be somewhere else like in the next town or something."

Silva sighed, "I'm sorry but I didn't find her."

"We flew to nearby cities and she wasn't there!" The spirit bird on Silva's shoulder said, "If this was a game of hide and seek then she sure would've won the game!"

"Be quiet!" Pirika glared at the bird, "You're going to wake up everyone!" She turned to Silva, "Horo-Horo and Cory just came back too. They didn't have any luck either."

Yoh was listening to them whenever they reported their daily search. A soft sigh escaped into the night. Everyone, including himself, had been searching for her but they turned out empty for the past few days. It was as if she just disappeared. There was no other explanation. The spirits had been searching far places and she still wasn't seen. Could it really be possible for her to disappear like that?

For the millionth time, he was tempted to use his shaman powers to find her. But he thought he should respect her "request"…. "And don't even think about sending some great spirit to go looking for me."

'What if I don't find her?' He thought again and again, 'What if she moved to another country? Or changed her name? If he did find her, what if she loves somebody else? What if he only finds a body…What if she's dead!' Yoh clenched his fists hoping that those things would never happen.

He closed his eyes and listened to the rustling of leaves, 'Anna…'

"I brought you some tea, Yoh." Tamao said from behind him.

Yoh turned his head and looked at her, "Thanks, Tamao. You could just leave it there." Without another word, he looked back at the ground hoping that she would leave him in silence. But, instead of walking away, Tamao sat down beside him and said the words he had never thought he would hear from her.

"We need to talk."

This surprised Yoh a bit. He looked at her and saw her trying to get enough courage to talk. She had never asked him to talk…in a serious tone. Judging by the look on her face, this was hard for her to do. "What do you want to talk about, Tamao?" Yoh asked.

"I…I'm worried about you, Yoh." Her voice trembled as she spoke, "Ever since you saw Anna at the park, you changed! You barely ate and talked. You go out early in the morning and come back late in the night. And you practically never sleep! Look, I know Anna's a very special friend to you but you shouldn't treat yourself like this!"

For a while, he remained quiet with his mouth slightly open. But, as soon as her words began to sink into him, he looked away from her. "I want to find her, Tamao. I don't care what happens to me as long as I find her."

"You really love her, do you?" She asked as she looked at the ground letting the shadows of her hair cover her eyes.

"With all my heart." Yoh replied, "She's not just a special friend…she's everything to me. I will love her until the end. That's why I won't stop looking for her."

"You still love her even when she had already told you that she doesn't love you anymore?" Tamao bit her lip to stop it from trembling. The same jealousy filled her and tears began to form on her eyes.

Yoh scowled. "She didn't mean to say that." He added in his mind, 'I hope.'

"Are you sure?" She asked. She was looking at him now. "How sure are you that she still loves you? That she just told you a lie?" She waited for an answer but he remained silent. Tamao's lip trembled once more, "She doesn't want you to find her, Yoh. That only means one thing: she doesn't love you anymore. Look at the situation more carefully, Yoh! Why doesn't she want to be found? The reason's pretty obvious! And look at what she's done to you! She made you look like a fool looking for a person who will never be found! She made all of us look like fools! Why don't you just give up Yoh?"

"Because I don't want to!" Yoh glared at her, "I don't want to stop looking for her! I don't care if she doesn't love me anymore! I love her! And, as long as I do, I will not stop until she's back here beside me! Okay, I may be a fool but at least I'm a fool who follows his heart! My heart tells me to never give up, Tamao! And I intend to follow it!"

"But what if your heart is wrong?" Tamao yelled back, "Do you still intend to follow it?"

"My heart is never wrong!" Realizing that his temper was rising, Yoh looked away from her and sighed. "Why are you saying all these things, Tamao?" He asked as calm as he could.

"I already told you, Yoh. I'm worried." Her voice dropped into a whisper as she leaned closer to him. "You must've already noticed, Yoh…I love you." Yoh looked at her with wide eyes. It was a big mistake because Tamao took the chance and kissed him. Yoh's eyes opened wider.

Yoh wanted to push her away but he couldn't lift his hands to do it. He had once wanted this to happen. But that was before…it was different now. He loves Anna now not Tamao. But why did he feel like he was enjoying the feeling of her lips on his? 'Anna…' He whispered in his mind, 'I have to stop this.' Slowly placing his hands on her shoulders, he pulled away…crushing Tamao's dreams into dust.

"Yoh…" Tamao tried to kiss him again but Yoh kept his distance away from her.

"No, Tamao…" He shook his head, "This isn't right. You can't just go around kissing people who doesn't love you."

"But Yoh…" Tamao looked away as tears ran down her eyes, "Why can't you just love me instead of Anna?"

"I did, Tamao." He tried to catch her eye, "I mean, I thought I did. I thought it was love but it wasn't. It was just a stupid crush…a feeling that seemed to have already disappeared. I'm sorry, Tamao…" He gave her an apologetic look but it only made her cry even more.

"I…I…" Tamao sniffed back some of her tears, "I thought you loved me back, Yoh… I thought you did when we watched that movie with Manta. When you comforted me throughout the movie, I thought…I thought…"

"You're my friend, Tamao." Yoh explained, "And you were trembling in fear. I couldn't just let you sit there and be scared to death. I loved you only as a friend back then and… I also had this crush on you. But I have never loved you. I just liked you…"

She didn't let him continue. Tamao stood up and ran towards her room. Yoh looked as she disappeared into the darkness but he didn't follow her. He would only hurt her more than he had already.

Turning around and looking at the ground again, Yoh placed his fingers on his mouth. It wasn't exactly his first kiss. But it was the first kiss he had ever received now that he's learned to love and all. He had once hoped to kiss Tamao but the desire had already dissolved into oblivion. He sighed and wiped his mouth with his sleeve. He vowed to pretend it didn't happen.

He closed his eyes again and sighed as he listened to the leaves dancing against the wind.

Yoh stared at the ceiling a few minutes later as he lied down on his futon. He could still see Tamao's teary face. No matter how hard he tried to push the image to the back of his mind, he just couldn't help but feel a small hint of guilt in his heart. She was crying because of him.

"I thought you loved me back, Yoh…"

He suddenly wondered what would have happened if he chose Tamao. Yoh rubbed his eyes, 'Get out of my head! You're only making things worse for me!'

'I have to think of something else!'

He placed his fingers on his mouth once more. He forced himself to think of who his first kiss was. The childhood memory lightened him up a bit.

A six-year-old Yoh woke up gleefully that day as he planned to take Anna beside the lake. Even though his mother irritated him by making him wear the clothes she had just made, a smile was still on his face. Yoh was sure nothing could spoil his day today not even the crazy outfit he was wearing. Today would be perfect.

But he was wrong.

As soon as he ran out of the house after breakfast, Anna was already there sitting under a large oak tree with her parents behind her. They had been waiting for him. Yoh wondered why there was a frown on Anna's face, "Hey, Anna! What's the matter?"

She looked up at her parents who gave her a nod before walking towards the house. She looked after them and waited until her parents were inside. Tears made their way up to her eyes as she looked at Yoh.

Yoh ran to her and sat in front of her. "What's the matter, Anna?" He asked again.

"Your grandmother said I should stop playing with you for a while." Anna sniffed, "She said I won't be seeing you for a few months."

Yoh's mouth fell open, "But…why?"

"She said I'm going to start training to be an…an...i…" Anna struggled to remember the word. "…an i-ta-ko. She said I have to be dis…disciplined to be one. That's why she won't let me play with you for a while."

Yoh's heart fell, "No!"

Anna nodded, "I…I'm sorry…" Without warning, she threw her arms around him and began to sob. "I'm going to m-miss you, Y-Yoh!"

Tears also began to stream down his eyes, "Anna…Anna!" Both of them cried in each others arms. It was only for a few months but…a few months, Yoh thought, are way too long.

About an hour after, Anna's parents were asking Anna to stand up and say her goodbye to Yoh. At first, she refused to let go of him and he did the same. They shouted that they do not want to separate. But, in the end, they had to. Their tears turned into sniffles as they helped each other stand up.

"I'm going to miss you, Yoh." Anna said once more.

"Same here, Anna." Yoh hugged her again but, this time, he didn't cry on her shoulder.

"G-goodbye, Y-yoh…" Anna tried to smile but failed. Instead, she turned around and walked towards her parents. Yoh caught her arm and pulled her back.

Yoh scratched his cheek and looked at the ground, "Take care of yourself, Anna. Goodbye…" Then, he brought himself to do a small move he always see his parents do; he pecked her lips with his. He stared at her for a while with his cheeks scarlet. And, without a word, he ran away back into his house.

The look that was on her face was priceless. He had wished to see her like that again when she came back but…the training his grandmother gave her had changed her. Before, he wished that she didn't receive the training at all. But, today, he realized that the change made him love her more.

"I don't love you anymore…"

"I don't care if she doesn't love me anymore! I love her!"

He nodded. Yeah, that's right. It doesn't matter if she still loves him or not. All that matters is that he loves her and he could never live a blissful life without her. He placed his hand over his heart. 'This heart finally realized who it really loves. It chose you, Anna. I chose you. And I will continue loving you…mark my words.'

The horrifying thoughts came back into his mind. He bit his lip, 'I have to start looking at the brighter side.'

Yoh sighed for the thousandth time that night and sat up. He looked around his dark room and smiled when he found a few pieces of paper on his desk. Taking his guitar with him, he walked towards it and sat down on the floor. He took one of the pencils that was scattered under the desk and scribbled on top of a piece of paper; Anna.


A/N: I'll make another update tomorrow but it might be the last for now. My next update (aside from tomorrow) might be next month or two weeks from now. Next week monday is my first day in school so I might be busy. Anyway...I hope you guys liked the updates. I don't really know how YOh and Anna were as kids so I just made it up. Please review!