Okay so some people besides my friends actually read this story which kind of surprises me. And they actually… "liked" it. Wow. What the hell is the world coming to. Either way, thanks ZeLonelyMole and uh… Dominator (I don't know what to call you) for reading and commenting. And of course, thank you Katz, Masha, and Taylor for all commenting because you guys pretty much rock. Anyway. Onto the next (poorly written) chapter.
Kyle and the crab had been dating for a few months now. It was a secret relationship so nobody knew except them. Stan was back because his vacation totally sucked balls. Cartman wasn't back because he had gotten fatter and couldn't fit on the plane and Kenny stayed in Wiscorida because he didn't have enough money to get a plane ticket in the first place.
Stan and Kyle were waiting for the bus to come when suddenly Stan realized something!
"Kyle you have been ignoring me ever since I got back!" He said so sadly that the angels began to cry.
"No Stan, it isn't true! It isn't true Stan!" Kyle began to cry too because Stan was so sad.
"You have! And why are you covered in that white stuff?" He inquired curiously at the questionable and mysterious puzzling brain busting white stuff all over Kyle. Kyle looked down at himself. Oh no! He had forgotten to wash up after he and the crab's morning sex!
"I slipped!" He screamed! Stan gave him a strange look then shrugged it off. "Yes, he bought it!" Kyle said aloud but he MEANT to think it!
"WHAT?" Stan inquired!
"No!" Kyle said!
"We are so THROUGH!" Stan yelled and stormed off! Kyle cried! Stan stormed off! Oh no!
A MONTH LATER
Although the sex with the crab was great, Kyle was beginning to feel very sad. He missed Stan. And things with the crab had not exactly been working out.
(Flashback)
Lol!
(End flashback)
There were some good times…
(Flashback)
OMG!
(End flashback)
And of course those times you just couldn't describe…
(Flashback)
(End flashback)
Kyle couldn't hold it in any longer. After he had given the crab 47 consecutive blowjobs, he began to sob. The crab was very saddened! He reached down and grabbed onto Kyle's chin with his claw, nearly crushing it and causing it to bleed severly.
"What's wrong my sexy little kitten?" He asked Kyle who was still crying.
"It's nothing, snuggly bear muffin" he said but he really meant "It's everything," … "God damnit!11" oh my god lol!
"WHAT!" The crab said!
"Tell me your name. I never found out your name" Kyle said hoping to change the subject.
The crab became scared! He was afraid that Kyle was going to be shocked at the name he was about to say….. "My name is Raalfnaydur…"
This caused Kyle to gasp very loudly! (Say the name outloud if you don't get it yet) He didn't know if he could handle this. He had to talk to Stan! So he did!
STAN'S HOUSE
Ding dong went the doorbell, knock knock went Kyle's hand on the door.
"What the fucking hell do you want dickface" went Stan.
"Stan, I really need to talk" went Kyle.
"Okay then talk!" Stan said in a very smartass way!
Kyle fidgeted, he shoved his hand down his pants, he tugged at his hair, he moaned, and then he began. "Well, to put it simply… it's just… been 25 years (give or take) of my life and still… I'm just… I'm trying to get up that great big hill of hope for some kind of destination. But then.. I realized quickly when I knew I should… that the world was made up of this… brotherhood of man. Whatever the fuck that means," He paused for a moment, waiting for Stan's approval to go on.
"I approve of you to go on," Stan said.
Kyle then continued. "So I cry sometimes when I'm lying in bed to get it all out, you know, what's in my head. Then… I start feeling a little peculiar. So I wake in the morning and I step outside, and I take a deep breath and I get real high and I scream at the top of my lungs WHAT'S GOING ON. And then, I say hey, what's going on. And.. I try! Oh my GOD do I try! I try all the time in this institution. And I pray.." Kyle's voice slowly started to take a turn for the worse. "Oh my GOD do I pray," Slowly it was starting to sound like a cat… "I PRAY EVERY SINGLE DAY" a dieing cat… "FOR A REVOLUTIOOOOON" that had larengitus. "So I cry sometimes when I-"
"KYLE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, YOU FUCKING SUCK AND THAT SONG IS STUPID AND YOU CAN'T SING FOR SHIT. YOU'RE UGLY AND YOU PUT MAKEUP ON REALLY BADLY AND HOW THE FUCK DID THAT SONG EVER MAKE IT ONTO THE RADIO IN THE FIRST PLACE? IT'S ANNOYING AND SUNG SO TERRIBLY IT COULD MAKE DEAF KIDS CRY," (No I am NOT making a reference to anything cough cough hack hack hint hint fuck you) He said so angrily the house shook. Kyle suddenly realized that Linda Perry I MEAN HE couldn't sing for shit.
"Fine, I'm going home then…" he said, but little did he know something crazy was about to happen (in Africa)
Okay sorry, this chapter is totally not funny at all but you know, whatever. Tell me how you like it and that'd be totally great. And sorry if anyone really likes What's Up, but I fucking hate it. With a passion.
